Latest / Suze Orman's Women & Money (And Everyone Smart Enough To Listen) / Classic Suze School: Don’t Turn Your Back on Yourself
Transcript
- 0:08Robert: September 3, 2026. Welcome to the Women and Money podcast
- 0:12Robert: as well as everyone smart enough to listen. Hi everybody,
- 0:16Robert: it's Robert, the producer here. For today's classic Suze School,
- 0:20Robert: we're going back again to an episode called Don't Turn
- 0:23Robert: Your Back on Yourself. Now, when we do these Classic
- 0:26Robert: Suze School episodes, sometimes I need to cut out the
- 0:30Robert: part that's only relevant to when the episode was originally published,
- 0:35Robert: and that's the case for today.
- 0:37Robert: So we're gonna pick it up where Suze is telling
- 0:40Robert: us what happens when she opens up podcast at ask Suze.com.
- 0:49Suze: I do this thing where I like to spin them,
- 0:52Suze: and up comes an email, and I punch it, and
- 0:55Suze: I go, OK, that's the one that needs my attention.
- 0:58Suze: And one after another after another were from women, who
- 1:06Suze: are in their either mid-40s, mid-50s, mid-60s, even mid-70s.
- 1:14Suze: All having been left by their husbands, their spouses, or
- 1:20Suze: they've even chosen to leave.
- 1:23Suze: And somehow, one after another.
- 1:27Suze: They've gotten themselves into a state of such incredible anxiety
- 1:33Suze: and fear that they are paralyzed.
- 1:36Suze: They are paralyzed from doing anything that is possibly constructive
- 1:41Suze: for themselves, possibly even positive for themselves. They have given
- 1:46Suze: up hope. They have given up faith. They have all
- 1:49Suze: decided that they're never going to trust anybody again. They're
- 1:52Suze: always going to live a life of fear. They're never
- 1:55Suze: going to feel secure, and on and on and on.
- 2:00Suze: And I've spent hours and hours and hours, writing them back,
- 2:08Suze: going through their finances with them, one by one, statement
- 2:12Suze: by statement. Don't do this, don't do that, no. Here's
- 2:17Suze: what I want you to do.
- 2:19Suze: But even with the best advice from me. They're all like,
- 2:24Suze: I can't. I don't know da da da.
- 2:28Suze: So KT saw that I was angry. And whenever I'm angry,
- 2:33Suze: she said, go do a podcast, go do a podcast.
- 2:37Suze: 'Cause it's not about anger at them.
- 2:42Suze: It's about anger at the fact. That we turn our
- 2:47Suze: backs on our own power.
- 2:51Suze: Anger because it really is all of our profound fear of
- 2:56Suze: loss that keeps us from gain.
- 3:01Suze: All of us are... the ones anyway that I've been reading.
- 3:05Suze: They are holding on so tightly, to the little bit
- 3:09Suze: that they have. That their hands aren't open to receive
- 3:14Suze: that which is meant to come their way.
- 3:17Suze: And then you put on top of that some of
- 3:21Suze: the worst, the absolute worst financial advice I have ever
- 3:27Suze: seen in my life, being piled on top of the
- 3:32Suze: fact that these women are emotional wrecks right now and
- 3:36Suze: rightfully so, it's never easy to be left. It's also
- 3:40Suze: never easy to leave.
- 3:43Suze: It's hard to do so. But sometimes you have to
- 3:48Suze: just get through it, and it takes time.
- 3:53Suze: But to have financial advisors giving advice that is 100% wrong,
- 4:02Suze: that would hurt these women, it makes me even go nuts.
- 4:07Suze: So of course, I do my best to try to
- 4:09Suze: help them.
- 4:11Suze: And then I think about the Women and Money podcast,
- 4:15Suze: and I think about how I've said now, not just on
- 4:19Suze: this podcast, but on the Suze Orman show. Every talk
- 4:23Suze: I've given, every book I've written, every blog I've ever posted,
- 4:28Suze: I've said.
- 4:30Suze: I hate variable and universal life insurance policies, but it's
- 4:37Suze: as if it goes in one ear and out the other.
- 4:42Suze: I tell you things that you should not be investing in,
- 4:46Suze: and it goes in one ear and out the other.
- 4:50Suze: What happens to you when you sit down in front
- 4:54Suze: of a financial adviser and he or she says to you,
- 4:59Suze: this is what I think you should do, and you
- 5:01Suze: just say, OK. What causes you to give up your power?
- 5:07Suze: What causes you to make moves that are so radically
- 5:12Suze: wrong and that will hurt you financially speaking rather than
- 5:16Suze: help you.
- 5:18Suze: Is it that you just want somebody else to take
- 5:21Suze: care of you? Is it because when you've been left,
- 5:24Suze: even if you have left someone, you still want to
- 5:28Suze: be taken care of and you want to put your
- 5:30Suze: trust in the hands of somebody else that looks like
- 5:34Suze: they can take care of you?
- 5:37Suze: I want you to be what? What have I begged
- 5:40Suze: all of you to be over these years? How do
- 5:43Suze: we end every single podcast: to be strong, safe, and secure.
- 5:49Suze: But to do that, you have to have common sense. You
- 5:55Suze: cannot just take a financial adviser's word for anything. If
- 6:01Suze: they tell you that you could simply put in $15,000
- 6:06Suze: a year for 20 years and then you would have
- 6:09Suze: $1 million. Can you just simply do the math? Can
- 6:15Suze: you do the math and see if that is even possible?
- 6:20Suze: How much would your money have to earn per year
- 6:22Suze: for you to have $1 million, after 20 years?
- 6:29Suze: But no, you don't. You just sit there and go, OK,
- 6:34Suze: I'll give you $15,000 a year. OK, I'll do this. OK,
- 6:40Suze: I'll do that.
- 6:42Suze: I'm telling you, you have more common sense within your body, seriously,
- 6:51Suze: within your being than you have any idea.
- 6:55Suze: If you would just simply be willing to take the
- 6:59Suze: time to go within.
- 7:02Suze: To ask questions, to look at it on paper and
- 7:07Suze: say to the financial adviser, OK, I hear that this
- 7:11Suze: is what you say I'll have. Show me where it says,
- 7:15Suze: I'm guaranteed to have this.
- 7:19Suze: Show me. Show me, but you don't. You don't.
- 7:27Suze: You continue to go into another relationship with blinders on,
- 7:33Suze: feeling like, OK, I'll just do this. It'll be OK.
- 7:40Suze: I need you to come from this day forward, from
- 7:45Suze: a place of common sense.
- 7:49Suze: I need you to come from this day forward to
- 7:54Suze: understand that your words and your thoughts are more powerful
- 7:58Suze: than you have any idea.
- 8:01Suze: They have the power to create or the power to destroy,
- 8:04Suze: and the choice is up to you. When you say
- 8:07Suze: you can't, you never ever will.
- 8:11Suze: When you say you're never going to trust anybody ever again.
- 8:16Suze: You never will.
- 8:18Suze: When you say I am never going to be secure again,
- 8:23Suze: you never will.
- 8:25Suze: Because your words are mantra.
- 8:29Suze: Your words are what create your future. I've told you
- 8:33Suze: this before. I've told you, be very, very careful about
- 8:37Suze: what you think, 'cause what you think you eventually say.
- 8:41Suze: Be very careful about the words you use because your
- 8:44Suze: words become your actions. Your actions become your habits, and
- 8:47Suze: your habits become your destiny.
- 8:51Suze: But yet I read it over and over and over again.
- 8:58Suze: And what you hear from me over and over again,
- 9:03Suze: are the words that I've just said is the other
- 9:07Suze: saying I have, which is to be a warrior and
- 9:10Suze: to not turn your back on the battlefield. And what
- 9:13Suze: is that battlefield? That battlefield is your life. You are
- 9:18Suze: fighting for your own freedom. You are fighting for financial security.
- 9:23Suze: You are fighting so that you can wake up one
- 9:26Suze: morning and feel true joy all over again.
- 9:31Suze: And yet then what do you say to me? But Suze,
- 9:35Suze: I never want to be dependent on anybody again. I
- 9:40Suze: never want my kids to know what I'm going through,
- 9:46Suze: and I'm sitting there thinking to myself, why not?
- 9:50Suze: You gave everything to those kids.
- 9:53Suze: And when you need help, what is it, women? What
- 9:56Suze: is it, mothers?
- 9:58Suze: That stop you from saying to your kids, I need help.
- 10:05Suze: I want your help.
- 10:08Suze: Your role is not to just make sure that everybody
- 10:12Suze: else is OK. Your role in life is to make
- 10:15Suze: sure that you are OK. You, a vital human being,
- 10:21Suze: a mother, a sister, a woman.
- 10:28Suze: A woman.
- 10:31Suze: And yet for some reason, you turn your back on
- 10:35Suze: yourself to make sure that everybody is still OK.
- 10:41Suze: And when you use words like that,
- 10:44Suze: When you don't want others to know the truth about
- 10:47Suze: what's going on in your life, do you think that
- 10:50Suze: you're hiding it from them? Do you think that they
- 10:53Suze: don't really know? Of course they do.
- 10:57Suze: Of course they do.
- 10:59Suze: And if they're your children who really love you and
- 11:02Suze: you love them, they can feel your pain.
- 11:07Suze: And they wanna help you, but yet you don't want
- 11:10Suze: them to help you.
- 11:11Suze: You'd rather just break your back and mow this lawn
- 11:15Suze: of yours that is taking all weekend after you're working
- 11:19Suze: three jobs and you're working 20 hours a day and
- 11:22Suze: yet you still have to mow your grass and you
- 11:24Suze: still have to do this and yet you don't want
- 11:26Suze: to ask anybody for help. What is the matter with
- 11:29Suze: all of you? So I'm angry.
- 11:33Suze: I'm angry because I know what's possible. I even know
- 11:38Suze: what's probable. I've seen thousands of people turn their lives around.
- 11:46Suze: But those are people who are willing to use words
- 11:50Suze: of hope.
- 11:52Suze: Have feelings of encouragement to not sit there and dwell
- 11:57Suze: in anger, dwell in fear and dwell in shame.
- 12:04Suze: Which always brings me back to the three internal obstacles
- 12:08Suze: to wealth which are fear, shame, and anger.
- 12:12Suze: And yet you choose, you choose to turn to that,
- 12:17Suze: versus to turn in you and understand that everything that happens,
- 12:25Suze: everything is a blessing.
- 12:28Suze: And I know that's not easy to say or easy
- 12:31Suze: to believe.
- 12:33Suze: That you have to because what is your alternative? What
- 12:37Suze: else can you think? What else can you do?
- 12:42Suze: So, this isn't a long podcast today, and I'm sure
- 12:46Suze: this isn't one that you expected to tune into.
- 12:50Suze: This isn't even one that I expected to do. But
- 12:55Suze: I know that when I feel like this. It's because,
- 13:00Suze: not that I'm disappointed in you. But it's because I
- 13:04Suze: know what's possible for you, and I see many of
- 13:08Suze: you turning your back.
- 13:11Suze: Your thoughts, your feelings on the probability of true happiness
- 13:19Suze: of one day being able to say, Oh my God,
- 13:23Suze: thank God he left me. Or even thank God she
- 13:27Suze: left me. Or thank God I had the courage to leave.
- 13:35Suze: So, I do this podcast in so much love for
- 13:39Suze: every single one of you.
- 13:41Suze: In the desire that every single one of you lives
- 13:45Suze: your most fullest life, a life when you wake up
- 13:49Suze: in the morning where you're happy to wake up, you're
- 13:52Suze: happy to go to sleep, you're happy to see people,
- 13:55Suze: you are just happy and you feel fulfilled with every
- 14:00Suze: breath that you take.
- 14:02Suze: And how does that happen?
- 14:04Suze: It happens by making sure that every thought, every action,
- 14:11Suze: everything that you do passes through the three gatekeepers that
- 14:15Suze: I've talked to you about. Is it kind? Is it necessary?
- 14:20Suze: Is it true?
- 14:22Suze: Are you doing that, or are you just finding it
- 14:25Suze: easier to dwell in your anger? To reside in your fear.
- 14:32Suze: And to really just sit in your shame.
- 14:37Suze: I am begging you. I am begging you to have faith.
- 14:42Suze: That there is a life out there that is just
- 14:47Suze: waiting for you to live it.
- 14:50Suze: But you have to have faith that you're going to
- 14:53Suze: get through this time. You have to really believe from
- 14:57Suze: the deepest part of your core.
- 15:00Suze: That you can and will do anything.
- 15:05Suze: That you will not just survive, you will thrive, you
- 15:09Suze: will once again live the life that you've always dreamt
- 15:13Suze: of living. But you can't live a life of dreams
- 15:19Suze: when you're spending your time creating nightmares in your thoughts.
- 15:25Suze: So, very unexpected podcast from me. I hope it's one
- 15:30Suze: that you're sitting there going, what the heck was that.
- 15:34Suze: Maybe you're one of the people that needed to hear
- 15:37Suze: what I just said.
- 15:38Suze: Maybe you're not. Maybe you know somebody, however, who is
- 15:43Suze: in that situation, and they need to hear these words. So,
- 15:49Suze: maybe you could ask them to listen to this podcast.
- 15:53Suze: Always know that every single word whether it sounds harsh,
- 16:00Suze: whether it sounds angry whether it sounds whatever that I'm
- 16:04Suze: giving to Suze slapdown is grounded in the most incredible
- 16:10Suze: love, hope and joy in what's possible for every single one
- 16:17Suze: of you.