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#1677 The Coach Who Coaches Coaches - Harps · The You Project

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Speaker 1: I'll get at Welcome to another installment of the show.
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Speaker 1: Today's a little bit different. So what I want to
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Speaker 1: do is I want to share some basic questions that
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Speaker 1: are essentially coaching questions that you can use either on
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Speaker 1: yourself or working with others. So I have a lot
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Speaker 1: of followers. I have a lot of people who follow
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Speaker 1: me on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn, and who listen to
0:29
Speaker 1: this show who are either trainers or psychologists or coaches,
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Speaker 1: are involved in sport or high performance or the corporate space,
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Speaker 1: who use some of my stuff, and by the way,
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Speaker 1: of course, use all of my stuff that you want.
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Speaker 1: And of course most of my stuff is not really
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Speaker 1: my stuff. It's just stuff, isn't it. It's not like
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Speaker 1: there's a whole lot of new ideas. It's not like
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Speaker 1: there's a whole lot of new information about human behavior
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Speaker 1: or moments or psychology that is revolutionary. So I am
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Speaker 1: always sharing things that have been known for a long
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Speaker 1: time about human behavior and psychology and the human experience.
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Speaker 1: But I share them in my own unique way, and
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Speaker 1: I ask questions and tell stories and frame constructs in
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Speaker 1: a way which I am told by many of you
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Speaker 1: seems to resonate, which is nice. So, but I do
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Speaker 1: get asked by a lot of people if they can
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Speaker 1: have access to, you know, my stuff. You know, like
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Speaker 1: what when you get up and do a talk, what
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Speaker 1: questions do you ask? What specific content do you draw from?
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Speaker 1: And the truth is that you know, like last night,
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Speaker 1: I did a talk for nearly seven hundred people. I
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Speaker 1: have no slides, I have no PowerPoint, I have no video.
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Speaker 1: I have one sheet of paper with a few dot
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Speaker 1: points on it that I bare look at. And because
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Speaker 1: I have talked for so long and so many audiences
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Speaker 1: about very similar subject matter, I while I wouldn't recommend
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Speaker 1: this to everyone, of course, who's going to be teaching, coaching, speaking,
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Speaker 1: doing workshops or standing in front of any kind of audience,
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Speaker 1: because you're not me, not better, not worse, just different.
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Speaker 1: But it works for me. So when I'm just riffing
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Speaker 1: in freestyle and talking about the human experience, I personally
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Speaker 1: I'm better when I step on stage and I just
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Speaker 1: open the door and I start talking. And every now
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Speaker 1: and then I might look at a sheet of paper
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Speaker 1: that I've got maybe five, ten, fifteen dot points, and
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Speaker 1: those dot points are not so much a whole lot
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Speaker 1: of content rather than they are just conversation starters. But
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Speaker 1: what I've got to share with you today is a
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Speaker 1: bunch of questions that if you are a coach or
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Speaker 1: a mentor, or a teacher, or even a psychologist or
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Speaker 1: anyone who is helping people to help themselves, these are
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Speaker 1: questions that are really good at starting a conversation, and
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Speaker 1: so I'm going to share them with you. I'm not
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Speaker 1: going to expand too much on them because they're kind
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Speaker 1: of self explanatory, and the real value lies in the
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Speaker 1: answering of each of these questions for you, or for
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Speaker 1: your clients, or with your clients, or in the moment
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Speaker 1: of that coaching, teaching, connecting problem solving session. So the
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Speaker 1: first question I ask people quite often is just like,
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Speaker 1: why are you here? Why are you here? Why did
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Speaker 1: you come see me? Why did your book in? And
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Speaker 1: then I just shut up and I get out of
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Speaker 1: the way. I don't want to lead them. And sometimes
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Speaker 1: people will open the vulnerability doors straight away, they'll pull
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Speaker 1: back the curtain and they come out all emotional and
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Speaker 1: psychological guns blazing, and you figure it out pretty quickly
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Speaker 1: what's going on and what's not going on. And other
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Speaker 1: people are more hesitant, more reserved, more fearful, and that's understandable.
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Speaker 1: But for me, without trying to dictate any particular direction
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Speaker 1: or influence people to say or not say certain things,
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Speaker 1: I want to ask them an open ended question and
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Speaker 1: then essentially shut up. I want to get out of
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Speaker 1: the way. And then so when they are telling me something,
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Speaker 1: I'm here because, for example, I'm here because you know,
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Speaker 1: I've got issues with my fill in the blank health
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Speaker 1: cool specifically, what does that mean? Ask them another question.
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Speaker 1: I might go, you know, I get really frustrated about X. Okay,
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Speaker 1: tell me about X. How long have you been frustrated?
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Speaker 1: How long has this not been working? You know? Or
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Speaker 1: I might have have real issues with my mum or
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Speaker 1: my dad, or I have conflict at this cool, tell
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Speaker 1: me about like what do those issues look like? How
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Speaker 1: do they manifest? Has this been forever, this recent? What's changed?
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Speaker 1: Are you different? Are they different? What do you think
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Speaker 1: the issue is? So for me, a lot of the
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Speaker 1: questions are really just conversation starters. My idea of a
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Speaker 1: good coaching session is when I'm doing probably twenty five
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Speaker 1: percent or less of the talking. I think a lot
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Speaker 1: of coaches over talk and under listen and look that's
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Speaker 1: a big, big kind of asterisk next to that piece
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Speaker 1: of advice, because it depends on the setting and the
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Speaker 1: context and the issues that we're dealing with. Sometimes I
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Speaker 1: will do relatively more talking than normal because that's what's required.
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Speaker 1: But I'm very aware that me over talking, me over sharing,
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Speaker 1: and me under listening is a recipe for counseling disaster.
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Speaker 1: The next question that I might ask, I'm just going
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Speaker 1: to share a bunch of questions with you, and then
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Speaker 1: you can either use these for yourself or use them
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Speaker 1: with others. And you would have heard many of these
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Speaker 1: over time, but I think for some of you that
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Speaker 1: have kind of said to me you want to develop
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Speaker 1: your own model of coaching or teaching or working with people,
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Speaker 1: or your own template, some of these might be a
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Speaker 1: nice addition to your toolbag or your toolkit. So the
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Speaker 1: next question is what are you currently doing that doesn't work?
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Speaker 1: And I intentionally don't make that too specific, and they
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Speaker 1: go well in regards to what I go anything anything
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Speaker 1: in your life? What are you doing? What is something
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Speaker 1: that you are currently doing or typically doing or regularly
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Speaker 1: doing that you know doesn't work. Don't overthink it. I'm
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Speaker 1: pretty sure something's going to come to mind, And most
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Speaker 1: of the time people will come back at me with
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Speaker 1: something quite specific, really quickly. And it could be that
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Speaker 1: food's not working, or my training's not working, or this
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Speaker 1: relationships not working, or sleep or money, or it could
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Speaker 1: be obviously any component of the human experience that makes
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Speaker 1: up the totality of their life, their world. And then
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Speaker 1: so we will dig it deep, a little bit deeper.
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Speaker 1: What does that mean when you say that you and
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Speaker 1: money it's not working, that financially things aren't great. Tell
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Speaker 1: me more about that. Tell me what do you think
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Speaker 1: the origin story is for that? Like what is it
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Speaker 1: that you're not making enough dough? Is it that you're
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Speaker 1: spending money on things you don't need? Is that you
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Speaker 1: that you are using buying stuff as a form of
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Speaker 1: retail therapy. Let's get to the let's get to the
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Speaker 1: crux of that. And so it's a very broad question
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Speaker 1: what are you currently doing that doesn't work? And it
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Speaker 1: might be something small. It might be that I eat
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Speaker 1: too much bread, or it might be something massive, like
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Speaker 1: a significant relationship, Which is not say we're advising any
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Speaker 1: to stop it or get out of it. But what
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Speaker 1: we're doing is we're just opening the door on trying
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Speaker 1: to explore what is and what isn't going on, and
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Speaker 1: trying to improve understanding and awareness so that we can
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Speaker 1: have greater clarity so that we can make better decisions.
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Speaker 1: The next question is how are you If you are,
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Speaker 1: how are you currently self sabotaging? What is a thing
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Speaker 1: that you are doing which is at odds with or
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Speaker 1: in conflict with your goals? Who you want to be,
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Speaker 1: how you want to be, how you want to show up,
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Speaker 1: and what you want to do be, create and change?
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Speaker 1: What are you currently doing that you know is a
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Speaker 1: form of self sabotage. Now, that could be procrastination, It
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Speaker 1: could be avoidance, It could be denial. It could be storytelling,
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Speaker 1: it could be lying. It could be a habit, a behavior,
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Speaker 1: a consistent choice that we're making making decisions in the
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Speaker 1: moment to get a little bit of dopamine going on.
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Speaker 1: We're making decisions in the moment to make us feel good,
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Speaker 1: to have that instant gratification to do that thing which
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Speaker 1: temporarily drags us out of that funk. And so my
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Speaker 1: propensity to constantly just press the dopamine button is a
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Speaker 1: form of self sabotage. And there are million forms but
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Speaker 1: it's just again, this is a good question. This is
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Speaker 1: a good question, or it might be something more obvious
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Speaker 1: and fundamental, like I am currently making decisions that don't work.
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Speaker 1: I am currently doing things which I know are stupid,
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Speaker 1: but they make me momentarily feel good, so I keep
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Speaker 1: doing them again, not self loathing, self awareness. The next question,
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Speaker 1: and we could do a whole podcast on this, is
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Speaker 1: just what is success for you? Do you want to
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Speaker 1: be successful? Yes, you do? Cool? What does that mean?
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Speaker 1: And generally it's not going to be a thing, it's
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Speaker 1: going to be a bunch of things. But let's start
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Speaker 1: to open the door on getting clarity around what. Okay,
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Speaker 1: you're here to talk to me. We want to have
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Speaker 1: a conversation. Things aren't working, yourself sabotaging, things aren't where
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Speaker 1: you want them to be. Awesome, You want to be successful,
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Speaker 1: you don't want to be a failure? Great? What does
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Speaker 1: success mean for you? And we're not talking about what
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Speaker 1: is the the you know, the generic kind of construct
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Speaker 1: or idea or concept of success, which essentially is stuff
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Speaker 1: and more stuff. But what does it mean for you? Really?
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Speaker 1: What does it mean for you beyond all the razzle,
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Speaker 1: dazzle and the talk and the hyperbole about you know,
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Speaker 1: grinding and hustling and winning away from all of that,
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Speaker 1: and maybe it is all about money for you and
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Speaker 1: that there's no judgment if it's that, maybe it's but
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Speaker 1: I think for most people, really, when we dig a
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Speaker 1: little bit deeper, success is something closer to the internal
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Speaker 1: state that we want to be. And what I really
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Speaker 1: want to be is I just want less anxiety. Rely
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Speaker 1: one is I want greater calm. What I really want
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Speaker 1: is I want to know what my fucking purpose is
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Speaker 1: and I want to live in alignment with my purpose.
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Speaker 1: I want to live an authentic existence for me that
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Speaker 1: would equal success, and so on and so on. My
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Speaker 1: next question is, and this helps people sometimes when they
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Speaker 1: can't answer the previous question, that well, what don't you want,
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Speaker 1: Like when we think about the life that you want
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Speaker 1: to build and create and the existence and the career
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Speaker 1: and the job and the situation and the environment you
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Speaker 1: want to work in the health state that you want
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Speaker 1: to be in, maybe you can't nail that all specifically.
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Speaker 1: So maybe let's reverse engineer it. Let's go, well, what
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Speaker 1: don't you want? Well, I don't want to work in
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Speaker 1: an office with fluo lights, buzzing over my head eight
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Speaker 1: hours a day, five days a week. I don't want that.
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Speaker 1: When I was very young and I didn't know exactly
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Speaker 1: what my business would look like or my career would
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Speaker 1: look like, I knew what I didn't want before I
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Speaker 1: had absolute clarity about what I did want, and the
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Speaker 1: awareness and the understanding and the insight that I did
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Speaker 1: have is that I don't want to have a boss
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Speaker 1: for the next forty years. So for me, that is
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Speaker 1: a form of reverse engineering. All right, Well, okay, Craig,
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Speaker 1: you don't want to have a typical job and you
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Speaker 1: don't want a boss standing over your shoulder telling you
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Speaker 1: what to do and how to do it and when
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Speaker 1: to do it. That's cool. But you still got to
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Speaker 1: make money. You've still got to have a career, You've
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Speaker 1: still got to pay the bills, and you can't sit
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Speaker 1: on your ass until you're dead, right, So let's figure
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Speaker 1: that out. So for me, and it's not that having
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Speaker 1: a job is bad, it's not that having a boss
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Speaker 1: is bad. It's just not something that I wanted to
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Speaker 1: spend my entire adult life in the middle of. So
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Speaker 1: that was for me, the anti goal was, or the
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Speaker 1: awareness was I don't want X. I didn't know what
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Speaker 1: I did want exactly, but I figured that out over time.
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Speaker 1: And by the time I started really working for me,
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Speaker 1: where I had no boss and no job at all,
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Speaker 1: was when I was twenty six, when I opened my
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Speaker 1: first center and I had my first bricks and mortar business.
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Speaker 1: But from when I had that awareness and that awakening
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Speaker 1: of what I don't want, it probably took me five
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Speaker 1: to six years to turn that awareness of what I
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Speaker 1: don't want into an actual thing that I loved being
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Speaker 1: in the middle of. That was mine. That was mine.
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Speaker 1: Another really no brainer question, which is super valuable, super helpful,
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Speaker 1: and super practical, is again, you know, I think we
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Speaker 1: complicate shit and overthink shit, But this is just a
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Speaker 1: nice question. What's your life telling you? You're always producing
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Speaker 1: results and outcomes and data N equals one. You're the
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Speaker 1: subject in the middle of your own project. The project
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Speaker 1: is your life or you are the project urgo the
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Speaker 1: you project in the middle of your project, the thing
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Speaker 1: that we call life. In the middle of all of
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Speaker 1: the outcomes and results that you are producing, what are
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Speaker 1: you learning? What do you now know? What is your life?
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Speaker 1: And by your life, I mean the results in your life,
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Speaker 1: the outcomes, the relationships, the consequences of your choices, all
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Speaker 1: the things that are happening in your life. What are
14:23
Speaker 1: those things telling you? Because that is in part your
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Speaker 1: guidance system. And it's cheesy, and I've said it before
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Speaker 1: and it does sound cheesy, but I believe it's true.
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Speaker 1: Is that in many ways, you know, your life is
14:38
Speaker 1: the classroom, or the world is your classroom, and every
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Speaker 1: day is another lesson, and every encounter and every experience
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Speaker 1: and every person is a potential teacher. But we need
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Speaker 1: to consciously be learning so that we don't keep doing
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Speaker 1: the shit that doesn't work. My next question is a
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Speaker 1: little and more philosophical, but it kind of flows nicely
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Speaker 1: off the back of the previous question, and that is
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Speaker 1: what is my internal sat Nav telling me? And if
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Speaker 1: you know me, then you know that your internal sat
15:13
Speaker 1: Nav is just kind of a term that I use
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Speaker 1: for that wisdom, that instinct, that intuition, that that knowledge
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Speaker 1: from somewhere else, wisdom that we have. And it could
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Speaker 1: be your internal sat nav could be that you know,
15:28
Speaker 1: like I said, it could be that intuition or that instinct,
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Speaker 1: or it could be tied up in your values or
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Speaker 1: your beliefs or your faith, or what you consider to
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Speaker 1: be your purpose. But it is that internal source of
15:41
Speaker 1: wisdom and insight and knowing that is always there, by
15:46
Speaker 1: the way, but sometimes we just don't listen. It is
15:49
Speaker 1: always there, It is always speaking, it is always caring
15:53
Speaker 1: and guiding, and our job, our job is to tune
15:58
Speaker 1: into that. Our job is to tune into that and
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Speaker 1: sometimes what we're being told or the guidance that we're getting.
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Speaker 1: And I'm not necessarily talking about anything particularly ethereal or
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Speaker 1: spiritual here. I just think there's a deep, instinctive, intuitive
16:12
Speaker 1: knowing in humans that is sometimes quite inexplicable. I think
16:18
Speaker 1: that we often know things that we've never been taught
16:22
Speaker 1: or told or trained to know. I definitely know I
16:27
Speaker 1: know things that I don't even understand how I know it.
16:30
Speaker 1: And I'm not a genius and I'm not special. But
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Speaker 1: I think we all have that innate wisdom, that innate
16:38
Speaker 1: guidance system that is a gift that we need to
16:41
Speaker 1: pay attention to. So the question there is what is
16:46
Speaker 1: your internal sat Nav telling you? The next question is
16:51
Speaker 1: what's your why we know what you want to do?
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Speaker 1: You've told us we know you what we know that
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Speaker 1: you want to do, be, create or change that thing.
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Speaker 1: You want to achieve that outcome, that's good. What's your reason,
17:09
Speaker 1: what's the driver, what's the motivation behind that goal? What
17:16
Speaker 1: is the why? In inverted commas, behind your what? In
17:20
Speaker 1: inverted commas because when we think about, like if our
17:24
Speaker 1: goal the what, what I want? That's my goal, and
17:28
Speaker 1: then I think about the reason, the motivation, the motivation
17:32
Speaker 1: behind it, that's my why. Well, I want to achieve
17:35
Speaker 1: the what, the goal, the outcome. I want to achieve
17:38
Speaker 1: that because I think it's going to give me the
17:40
Speaker 1: thing that I really want. My why, that's my reason.
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Speaker 1: For example, when I say my goal is to move
17:49
Speaker 1: to Queensland and live near the beach and to live
17:54
Speaker 1: in a better climate, and blah blah blah. Right, that's
17:58
Speaker 1: what I want, and that's for some people that's a
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Speaker 1: fucking great goal. By the way, maybe that's what I want.
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Speaker 1: But then, Craig, why do you want it? Well, well,
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Speaker 1: I've got a bit of arthritis, so I feel like
18:10
Speaker 1: the weather's going to I'm going to be in less
18:12
Speaker 1: pain or I'm going to be I'm going to be
18:14
Speaker 1: happier because I'm in a nicer environment. I'm going to
18:17
Speaker 1: be able to work more effectively because X y Z,
18:20
Speaker 1: I'm going to be bottom line is, I think my
18:23
Speaker 1: life will be better. So what I really want I
18:27
Speaker 1: don't really want to move to Queensland per se. What
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Speaker 1: I really want is I want a better life experience.
18:34
Speaker 1: And I think if I'm in another state called Queensland,
18:38
Speaker 1: my life experience will be better. So my my what
18:41
Speaker 1: is I want to move to Queensland? My why is
18:44
Speaker 1: I want a better life experience? Well, one may equal
18:49
Speaker 1: the other, but my guess would be that more times
18:54
Speaker 1: than not comma not necessarily then maybe a correlation. There
19:01
Speaker 1: may be no correlation. You might move to a warmer climate.
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Speaker 1: You might move near the beach. You might wake up
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Speaker 1: every morning and it's sunny and the birds are singing
19:11
Speaker 1: and the bees are buzzing, and you go, oh fuck.
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Speaker 1: It wasn't a geographical issue. It was an emotional issue.
19:18
Speaker 1: I actually need more connection. I need more love. I
19:21
Speaker 1: need more people that care about me. And now I've
19:24
Speaker 1: moved away from my family and friends and I'm in
19:27
Speaker 1: this place. Yes, I'm near the beach. Yes it's a
19:29
Speaker 1: nice environment. I guess I can make more friends. But
19:32
Speaker 1: I've just left part of what was my security blanket
19:36
Speaker 1: or part of what was my source of connection. And
19:41
Speaker 1: by the way, I've heard a version of that story
19:43
Speaker 1: many times. I'm not saying don't move. I'm not saying
19:45
Speaker 1: do do anything or don't do anything particularly, But what
19:49
Speaker 1: I am suggesting is that before you rush to climb
19:53
Speaker 1: that mountain to get to that goal, consider one, why
19:57
Speaker 1: am I climbing this mountain? Why am I climbing this mountain?
20:01
Speaker 1: And two, maybe even more importantly, am I climbing the
20:04
Speaker 1: right mountain? The next question is, and this is a
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Speaker 1: really relevant question for twenty twenty four because we are
20:13
Speaker 1: instant gratification addicts. The question is can you delay gratification?
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Speaker 1: Will you delay gratification? Can you deny the quick fix?
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Speaker 1: Can you resist pushing the dopamine button? And whether or
20:29
Speaker 1: not the dopamine button comes in the shape of food
20:32
Speaker 1: or sex or gambling or spending money you don't you
20:37
Speaker 1: don't really have on things you don't need, or seeking
20:40
Speaker 1: attention online or looking for approval or validation or backslaps
20:45
Speaker 1: you know, can you can you avoid that? Can you
20:50
Speaker 1: can you be the person who doesn't constantly need to
20:54
Speaker 1: be rewarded, doesn't constantly need comfort or gratification, because if
20:59
Speaker 1: you can be that person, you're probably going to build
21:02
Speaker 1: some real skills, some real understanding, some real resilience, and
21:07
Speaker 1: then when the shit comes, and the shit comes for
21:09
Speaker 1: us all, you're in a much better place because you're
21:12
Speaker 1: used to dealing with discomfort. You're used to not doing
21:16
Speaker 1: the thing in the moment that your ego wants, or
21:21
Speaker 1: your shitty self esteem wants, or that brain wants to
21:26
Speaker 1: get relief from that thing that's temporarily painful. So being
21:30
Speaker 1: able to delay gratification in a culture that is obsessed
21:34
Speaker 1: with comfort now with instant gratification is a skill that's
21:39
Speaker 1: definitely worth developing. The next question I did a whole
21:44
Speaker 1: podcast on recently or a whole episode on recently. Is
21:47
Speaker 1: am I living intentionally? Are you living intentionally? Each one
21:51
Speaker 1: of these questions, by the way, can be a one
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Speaker 1: hour conversation with a person. What does that mean? Well,
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Speaker 1: that means that you are consciously, courageously and intentionally designing
22:01
Speaker 1: your life, designing how you want to live, who you
22:05
Speaker 1: want to be, how you want to work, how you
22:08
Speaker 1: want your body to function and feel, your health, your mental,
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Speaker 1: your emotional, your physical health, your relationships. Are you living
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Speaker 1: on purpose and in purpose? Are you designing and refining
22:22
Speaker 1: your own life? Or do you get up every day
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Speaker 1: and do what you did yesterday despite the fact that
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Speaker 1: it didn't really work. But you're just in this flow,
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Speaker 1: You're in this momentum, You're just in this groundhog dayanus
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Speaker 1: of behavior that doesn't really work for you. Do you
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Speaker 1: need to be able to hit the pause button, reset
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Speaker 1: and start again in some way, shape or form to
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Speaker 1: some level. Are you living consciously? Are you doing the
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Speaker 1: things on a consistent level that will make your life
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Speaker 1: better and you better? Or are you living unconsciously? Are
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Speaker 1: you doing lots of things that don't work with no
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Speaker 1: end insight? The next question is how will you stay
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Speaker 1: productive and proactive when you're not motivated? These are not
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Speaker 1: new questions, I know, but this is just maybe going
23:15
Speaker 1: to form part of your coaching template if you're a
23:18
Speaker 1: coach or a speaker or whatever, or like I said,
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Speaker 1: maybe they're just for you. But how will you stay
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Speaker 1: productive and proactive and effective and doing what you need
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Speaker 1: to do when you can't be bothered? Because that I
23:31
Speaker 1: can't be bothered state that is human, that is everyone everywhere,
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Speaker 1: some of the time do I ever go through stages
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Speaker 1: where I can't be bothered, where I don't want to
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Speaker 1: do something, where I've lost focus, I've lost motivation, I've
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Speaker 1: lost inspiration, and I'm reaching for an excuse. I'm reaching
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Speaker 1: for a get out of jail card. I'm reaching for
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Speaker 1: a reason in inverted commas to not do the thing
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Speaker 1: I know I should do. Of course, of course, not
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Speaker 1: because I'm bad or broken, but because I'm human, just
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Speaker 1: like you. So you and I if we say that
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Speaker 1: we really want to be successful and learning and growing
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Speaker 1: and evolving and becoming a better version of us consistently
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Speaker 1: over time, versus starting, stopping, starting, stopping, in the zone,
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Speaker 1: out of the zone, losing weight, gaining weight, effective, ineffective.
24:25
Speaker 1: If we want to be more consistent with our choices
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Speaker 1: and behaviors and our outcomes, then we need to find
24:32
Speaker 1: a way to override lack of motivation. Can your action?
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Speaker 1: Can your commitment outlast your motivation? Can you do what
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Speaker 1: you need to do when you don't want to do it?
24:51
Speaker 1: Let's just do two more and then I might do
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Speaker 1: some I might do. I've got a bunch. I just
24:54
Speaker 1: realized I'm not going to get through these. I'll do
24:56
Speaker 1: two more. The next one is what is your accountability system?
25:05
Speaker 1: So when the motivation thing happens and you lose motivation,
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Speaker 1: like I was just talking about, how will you stay
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Speaker 1: proactive and productive? What are the things that you will
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Speaker 1: put in place? What are the KPIs? What is the
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Speaker 1: system or the protocol that will keep you doing when
25:24
Speaker 1: most people would give up? You will be the person
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Speaker 1: that steps up when previous you would have given up.
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Speaker 1: What will keep you doing not giving up? What will
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Speaker 1: keep you doing? Moving forward? You need to think about
25:39
Speaker 1: that because if you are a person with a history
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Speaker 1: of stopping and starting things and not completing things, and
25:46
Speaker 1: it might just be in a particular area of your existence,
25:49
Speaker 1: then the first thing that you need to deal with
25:52
Speaker 1: is that, like what has been my hurdle or my
25:56
Speaker 1: barrier or my reason for not getting the job done
25:59
Speaker 1: in the past? Asked what typically happens? And how do
26:02
Speaker 1: I counteract that? And how do I navigate that? So
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Speaker 1: this is not just another thing that I am trying.
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Speaker 1: So an accountability system is anything that will help you
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Speaker 1: to continue making the decisions, doing the things, rolling up
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Speaker 1: your sleeves and ticking the boxes, even in the absence
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Speaker 1: of inspiration. Motivation and or a cheer squad. And the
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Speaker 1: last one that I'll do for now is about purpose.
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Speaker 1: It is either for yourself or the people you're working with,
26:44
Speaker 1: getting them to consider what their purpose might be. And
26:47
Speaker 1: this is quite a philosophical conversation because many of us
26:51
Speaker 1: grew up in this kind of this mindset that we
26:54
Speaker 1: need to discover our purpose, like it's something that we
26:57
Speaker 1: can find somewhere. I just got to go on a
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Speaker 1: search to find it, and we're going to find it
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Speaker 1: under some metaphorical, philosophical or ethereal rock over there by
27:07
Speaker 1: that tree, and we just move the rock and fucking
27:09
Speaker 1: fuck there. It is our purpose. Whereas I believe that
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Speaker 1: most of us will have many purposes over the course
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Speaker 1: of our life, not just one. I don't think that
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Speaker 1: I have a single purpose. But what I do know
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Speaker 1: is that I get to choose it. I get to
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Speaker 1: choose what I will focus on. I get to choose
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Speaker 1: what my life purpose will be. I get to choose
27:42
Speaker 1: where I will invest me based on typically that will
27:45
Speaker 1: be based on my values and my beliefs and the
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Speaker 1: way that I want to impact the world and the
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Speaker 1: things that I guess, in general terms matter most to
27:55
Speaker 1: me the things that I think are truly important, and
28:00
Speaker 1: so my purpose will be something that is a byproduct
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Speaker 1: of those things, my values, beliefs, goals, intentions, even my personality.
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Speaker 1: And by the way, if you're going, so what is
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Speaker 1: your purpose, Craig, So not my entire purpose, but definitely
28:19
Speaker 1: part of my purpose is helping people to find their purpose.
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Speaker 1: Definitely part of my purpose is to help people use
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Speaker 1: more of their talent and their potential and their energy
28:31
Speaker 1: in a way which is consistent with success. I believe
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Speaker 1: that I need to have a purpose bigger than me.
28:39
Speaker 1: I believe that I need to be my transcendent self
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Speaker 1: so that the best version of me is the version
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Speaker 1: that transcends my selfishness, my self centered, me focused existence,
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Speaker 1: which can easily dominate. I know that when my life
29:00
Speaker 1: is all about me and I'm focused on me, ironically,
29:04
Speaker 1: my life is worse. That's just my experience. Doesn't mean
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Speaker 1: I do nothing for me or I don't take care
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Speaker 1: of me, but it means that much of my life
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Speaker 1: and much of my energy and attention and focus is
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Speaker 1: about helping others to figure out their life purpose, their path,
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Speaker 1: their mission, and how to operationalize and maximize what it
29:30
Speaker 1: is they have to work with based on who and
29:33
Speaker 1: how they want to be. I think that'll do for now.
29:37
Speaker 1: We'll call that coaching session one, and I may be back.
29:41
Speaker 1: Enjoy day.