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Raising Kids Who Actually Love God: A Guide for Parents · The Worship and Leadership Podcast

• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Basket of Oranges.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: We're Conyers Jr, and you just heard the one and only Willie C Simpson.
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: Yo, yo yo.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Talking about basket of oranges.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Come on, carolyn, baby, if you're listening, you look like a good old bag of oranges.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Mama, I love you.
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: Basket of orange.
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we don't say that Basket of orange.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Basket of oranges.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Oranges, Not mandarins.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: No no, no, no, Mandarins no no, no Mandarines.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Mandarines.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: These are delicious, juicy anointed oranges.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Hey, in the studio we got Willie, we got Tiffy Toes, tiffany GSB what's going on?
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: And the one and only the host of Sunday Rewind, emily Himes, Welcome, hi.
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: We're glad to be here, I can't.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: That was way worse.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: Okay, we were talking about 1,800 slang terms and, if I can, just yes, we may or may not.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: Did not hit the record button first.
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: Go around.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: And so the second go around it just went way worse down.
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: It was bad, it was.
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: That was Caroline.
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: We love you.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: I love you sweetie.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: So just so everybody's understanding the term bag of oranges.
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: Basket Basket.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Basket of oranges was a common phrase used to describe a very attractive woman, a woman that you found very pretty.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: You would describe as a basket of oranges in the 1800s.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: In what country?
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: In the US, in the US.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: So yes, my wife is gorgeous.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: She's beautiful, and in the 1800s, if I was writing her a love letter, I would have said Dearest Caroline, you look lovely today like a ripe juicy basket of oranges.
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: Will you be my chuk of oranges?
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: Will you be my chukaboo?
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Will you be my chukaboo?
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: That is another 1800s slang term meaning best friend, close friend, boo thing.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, look it up, you guys Google it right now.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: 1800s slang terms.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: And thanks for coming to our podcast.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: So glad you're here.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Where's your?
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: cricket.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: Dear darling, I hate your stinking guts.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Yes, you look like a basket of oranges.
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: You're like the scum between my toes.
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: Oh man, little rascals, come on.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: All right, hey, well, praise the Lord.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Hey, Emily wasn't with us last week and we kicked off the podcast talking about nicknames.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: And so we got Mr Poo.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Not Mr Poo.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: No, not Mr Poo.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: My name was Poo because I love the way you do Poo.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Mr Poo Tiffy Toes.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: We went from grocery store princess to Tiffy.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Toes, because that's what her family calls her Yep, and I ended up with a nickname because I shared a story.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Elmer Katanas Is that?
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: right, yeah.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: And then, what are you called?
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Come on, is it appropriate?
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: Slightly Okay.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Slightly Okay.
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: Slightly so.
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: My dad is just a nickname genius and it would just the most random things would come out of his mouth, and the one that stuck the most was Rumble Stiltskin.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Okay, really.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: Yes, and then it just got shortened down to Rump, so that's why I was like slightly Okay.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: Really yes, and then it just got shortened down to Rump.
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: So that's why I was like slightly Okay, because it started with Rumpelstiltskin.
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: And then it just kind of morphed just to Rump.
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: And then yeah, but I mean, he was like nickname genius.
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: All right, Well, I'm not calling you that in the lobby, please don't.
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: No, that would be great if you didn't.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to be doing that.
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: I really appreciate you.
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: You would not be my Chukaboo.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: How would you shorten a basket of oranges?
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: Boo, there you go.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Just boo, boo, okay, boo, ah, come on, hey, every now and then, come on Wait.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: Every now and then Come on Wet time out.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's where it came from.
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: I'm just saying.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Oh boo.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: Basket of old.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Seriously.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's where it came from.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: Maybe I just decoded.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness.
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: I may have not been sitting here singing Usher my boo.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: That's true.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: And so I was laughing.
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: I was like you know, you're my chukka boo, so that it's like maybe that's it and Basket of Oranges.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: Maybe he is very versed in 1800s slang, it has to be Call him right now.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Yes, hold on let me call him On the phone Get.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: Usher on the phone.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, usher man real quick.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is Usher.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: Hey we have a question.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what's your question, brother?
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: So number one do you study 1800s?
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: History?
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Baby, you know, that's my favorite kind of stuff, that's my favorite subject oh my gosh.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: That's my favorite subject oh no, there's no pause button because we're live.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Oh man, okay, all right, okay, let's just move this train.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Jacob, jacob, jacob.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: What is he doing?
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: That's all his face.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: That's done Alright.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: So today we're talking about discipleship.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Yes, this goes to well.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: We're talking about parenting.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: So that's one of the things you know.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: We've been talking about discipleship in the past, but today we're not talking about parenting.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: Yes, so that's one of the things.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: We've been talking about discipleship in the past.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: We're not talking about parenting.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Don't let your kids listen to us?
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: No, please don't.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: That's the number one parenting tip Do not let the minors listen to us.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: I mean, how do you think the kids got here though, my Lord, I'm just saying, well, that's true.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: That's true.
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: And we have to learn how to disciple the children.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: We have to learn how to disciple the children.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: The fruit of the union.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: There Some basket oranges Come on.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: So we're going to talk about parenting and discipleship and you know it's one thing.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: We've been talking about discipleship in the context of small groups.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: We've been seeing the men of our church, over 400 men actively pursue, wanting to get closer to the Lord and grow in their relationship with the Lord and they've joined small groups and are strong men Discipleship and that's been exciting.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Do you want to just update like anything?
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Well, we are a month in and it's been like you said, it's been incredible.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Over 400 men have jumped in and joined in.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: We're meeting the first and third Tuesday of the month here in the building and then off-site in small groups and, honestly, to your point, Pastor Herman, that's really the goal is to lead men to be fully devoted followers of Christ, to see men really taking their rightful place as spiritual leaders, really in what I like to call the main domains of this life in the world, in the marketplace, in their home, in their neighborhood.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: It's really been great and there have been awesome testimonies and stories.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I'll share one quick one.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: One of the leaders was sharing with me how a guy confessed to him that he was dealing with just some integrity issues and he said hey, man, just come be a part of our group.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: He shared what he was going through in the group and three other men were like hey, I'm walking through that same battle, I'm facing that same battle, but these other three men, they're walking in strength and so they just put them on a plan of accountability.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: And he's like man, this is really awesome, this is really great.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: So I have so many more stories like that to tell where guys already are finding freedom on the front end of it.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: So we just praise God for it.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: That is awesome.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: That is awesome, and if they haven't joined yet, is it too late?
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: Or what's the path for it.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: There's probably people listening right now and they're like I didn't know about that.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, absolutely yeah.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: Well listen, what we're doing is we're really directing men to join our Monday groups for freedom and discipleship.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: We're really trying to build this out and we want to make this the best experience possible for our men that are currently in there.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: So we're going to be running it all the way through October, but they're going to be launching it again next year.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: But again, if you desire to get into a small group, we have hundreds of small groups available for you to join.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Just go to our website, mypointchurchtv.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Slash small groups.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: You can get a plug into a group.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: That's cool.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: That's awesome, all right.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: So let's talk parenting, so discipleship.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: We're seeing it happen in our church in many different areas.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: A lot of adults get involved in small groups because they see the need in that, and it's amazing.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: And if you're not part of a small group, we always encourage you to join.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Join a small group, and but how do we do that in the context of our home and our, with those of us that have children, and so, and if you don't have children, you know, one day this is, you know, hopefully this is encouraging and helpful for you as well.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: There's everything from what we model as parents and what are the things that we allow.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: I know a lot of, you know we're all on staff here at LifePoint and you have conversations with different kids and like, oh, my mom, my dad, let me listen to this, we're able to watch this, and so every home has its dynamics and so, like, I'm interested in hearing, like in, in hearing in conversation, what shapes those values in each of our homes.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: Obviously, we'll talk Bible, we'll talk things that we've learned, but then there's also the culture that we all have in our own homes.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: But how do we always keep that Christ-centric?
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: So I'll open it up to the table and see what does that look like?
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: You just had a really awesome thing happen this Sunday, tiffany with Paisley.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: Yes, I got to baptize my baby girl.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Come on, praise God yeah.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was so cool and it's so cool to be able to do it.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: You know, and just because I know the conversations that we've had leading up to it, Like I know you know she's been talking about it, we went to Faith in Motion and we've just been having a lot of discussion about it and just knowing where her heart was and it was just a really good day.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: It was a really good day, that's cool, and then.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: So how did you get to that place with Paisley?
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: She asked because you know, we have them in the lobby and so she had seen it happen.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: And she just asked me about it.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: And she's young, she's nine.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: So I was kind of like, okay, well, let's talk about it, you know, because I never want to assume that you know, my kid's too young or you know, like all of those things.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: And she just man, she was just so ready, she's just, you know, I just want to dedicate my life to the Lord, like I want him to be my best friend, like I want everybody to know it, like you know, like so we went to Faith in Motion and she was excited about that.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: They give you a workbook that you do.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: She worked her way through that, you know, and she was just so excited.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: And who am I to be?
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Like, wow, no, now you got it, you know.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, it was just a lot of conversation and a lot of so she asked and I kind of walked her down, that you know, that's cool.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: That was awesome.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Come on, jesus, I love it.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just thinking through my own home, like I think a lot about like family of origin, like this one phrase that I've been hearing a lot from a couple of leaders that I highly respect we reproduce who we are, we reproduce what we are.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: So I mean scripture does talk about faith being handed down.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Like when Paul is writing to Timothy he says to guard the deposit of faith from your mother and your grandmother.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: So I do think family of origin plays a huge role in our worldview as kids.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Like, our view of God is shaped by our parents, either indirectly or directly.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: Our view of truth is shaped by our parents, either directly or indirectly.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: So definitely I could see, looking back, I am who I am in large part because of being raised in a Christian home.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: My dad, he was in the Army but he served as a pastor.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: My mom, she's an evangelist and she was a Bible teacher.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: So, growing up inundated with faith, inundated in faith in church life rooted, planted in a church.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: My family dynamic was hey, listen, when you're in a church like you are there, you are planted, we're not flighty, we're not church hopping, we're going to be a part of a church.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: So that definitely played a huge role in discipleship.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Most things were really caught instead of taught.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: I just learned about serving shepherding.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: Well, because my parents they really did provide such really powerful examples of that, yeah, that's cool, and so modeling the behaviors that we model, and so there's everything from anger to grace, even the topic of forgiveness, how we deal with forgiveness when it comes to when others do things to us or when we've been the offender, right.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: You know, I don't know if you guys have any stories to talk about when it comes to that, but I just think of my kids, and I think I've said it before on another episode where, just the way my kids see that I treat mom, I always, when I hear them talking to like, probably specifically the boys, like my oldest and our little one, um, I'm always like, hey, do I, do I talk to mom that way?
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: And they're like no, then I'm like don't talk to, don't talk to your sister that way, don't you, don't?
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: We don't talk to women that way.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: And so just, just, you know developing who they are for our boys as men and for our daughter, my daughter, like you, know who she is as a woman and so, um, just the way that we and that's not I'm not, I'm not just putting up a front because they're there- it's because they're watching everything, yeah.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: They hear everything, like they're like there's times that like I'm on my phone doing something, like replying to an email or something, and I just, and I just feel little eyes watching me and then it's just from a distance and I'm like, okay, I'm going to get off my phone.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Or sometimes they're just being nosy and they're like what?
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: are you doing Things like?
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: that, and so then you're just mindful like they're watching everything.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: They want to be part of the conversations and if I'm always saying like you can't see, you can't see, then secrecy becomes a big thing.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Becomes a big thing like oh okay, I'm not going to show you when I have a phone, yeah, you know.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: And so like everything I should have nothing in my phone that they can't see correct.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: So, like you know, there's things that I might expose myself to or see that like, like if they can't see it like there's some tv shows in the past I'm like I really love this show, it's great, you know, but but I wouldn't watch it around my kids.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: And then it once it hit me at some point, I'm like you know, if I can't watch it around them, why even watch it?
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because then I have to.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Number one, I have to watch it, like I have to hide to watch it yeah because of the, the language or whatever the reasons are, and so like why?
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: Why go through that?
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: and and everyone's different, yeah sure that's just something they're watching.
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: We're always watching.
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's great.
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: I love that, though, because I had my daughter at 18.
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: And so the first half of her life I was not walking with the Lord at all, and I saw where she was picking up those characteristics of me.
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: And then, once I finally decided to go all in, i— you know, would I want to completely change it and just raise her in a Christian home, absolutely 100%, but that's not the hand that I was dealt right then.
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: And to see God's grace and mercy over my parenting towards her, I'm now seeing how Casey is actually still copying me now that I have given my life to Christ.
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: She sees where I've put up boundaries.
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: So now she's comfortable putting up boundaries.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: So it's really cool to see how kids do.
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: I mean it's generational too.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: She's seen you walk it out.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: I have the same with my older two.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: I started going to church when they were about five, six, because I didn't need it.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: But my kids, they needed to learn some manners, so the church was going to teach it to them.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: I kind of put it on the church to disciple my kids at that point.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: Well, maybe they just need to get some church.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: They were good kids.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying they needed it, but just kind of going there for your kids gets people in the door sometimes.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: It gets people in the door, and God ended up wrecking me, for sure, you know, even though I didn't think I needed it, because you know I was a good person you know.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: But you know, it's just.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: It's funny how I mean that is what set a good example for my kids was God wrecking me and changing me.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: And seeing that change in my life, like seeing the change that he did even in my parenting, you know, definitely showed my kids a lot more what the Lord does than walking in the church that day, which is good, bring your kids to church.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: But you know, I think it's so cool, like you plan it one way and God's like no, actually, you know.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: Come on, God's like no, actually, you know Come on.
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: I think it's funny that you say that, because through your kids you got wrecked and it's one of those things that it's like oh God's like, well, yeah, this is your first ministry that I need you to disciple.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: Right, whether you know it or not, tag you're it.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: You are going to be the one discipling them.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that you get what you ask for, which you asked for.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I did, I love that, and now you have Paisley asking to get baptized and she got baptized this last Sunday yeah.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: And so that's awesome.
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: That is really cool.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about this community.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: So there's our example to our kids and then there's the example that they pick up from those that we allow into our home.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: And so church is one environment, school is another environment that they see the workplace Like.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: My kids probably spend more time at church, sometimes on busy weeks, when we're doing big events and stuff.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: We're here as a family and we all serve together, so they're exposed to everyone that's here at church and all of these different environments influence and they help shape our children in different ways as we're leading them.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: And so let's talk about the workplace.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: I know we all work here but like other environments that we might have been in Family you know we've talked about it in the past Some of our relationships with different family members or even friends are toxic.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: And how does all that play in part into parenting our children, discipling them?
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I do think it starts with the core values that lead in the home.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: I think about Joshua 24.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: As for me and my house, you know, we will serve the Lord.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: And so I think you know, if you have a, if you have a firm foundation, if you've set up Christ as the firm foundation in your home, but then leading through values that's what I loved about working here at LifePoint when Pastor Mike would say culture leads, but culture is shaped by values.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: And so values, our values in our home, may be a little different than everyone else's, but the foundation is Christ.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Does that make sense Like case in point in our home, we're going to choose, we're going to laugh.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: I remember Pastor Mike said like we're going to choose your, we're going to laugh.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: I remember Pastor Mike said like, hey, we're going to play music, like that's what we're going to do, like we're going to be a very musical, vibrant home, but the foundation of Christ is still similar.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: It's like it's exactly the same.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: So I think you do have to start there, and then that will inform the environments and the spaces external to your home that you will permit your kids to be a part of.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: And again, it's all internal.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Like this isn't stuff, like you said, that you're going to find, like in scripture, thou shalt or thou shalt not.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: It's just, you just have to decide as a family.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is what we agree on.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, perfect example.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Like my wife and I, we agreed well before we had kids.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Our children, they don't do sleepovers unless it's like with close family, like cousins, or doing sleepovers, and that's just listen.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: That's something that we have decided.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: We decided well before we had kids.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: That's just what we're going to do, and sure, part of it's based on our previous experience.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Sure, but it's also like hey, this is the Simpson household and this is the playbook that we're running, and I just love the phrase Pastor Micah saw us to say, whenever it comes to personal convictions, hey, you can, I won't.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: So I'm giving anybody else as a parent, you say, well, I don't understand why you can't.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying you can't, we just won't, we won't do that.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: But that's because that's a value that we hold and we feel like that's one of the best ways we can steward the children that God's blessed us with.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: And a lot of times like children will come over, like we'll like hey, like what do you guys do for dinner?
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: Or like we'll be, because we always sit at the table and eat like that's our thing.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: We won't go in front of the tv none of that, yeah and so then when his friends are over, or emory's friends like we, we ask like, hey, so what are things you do with your family?
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: And they're like this, like we never do these things.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: And so you'll have those conversations like, oh, why?
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: And not that it's a bad thing, because we don't want those kids going home and being like oh, we're a horrible family.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: Right so don't try to instill your values on other people.
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: If it's going to bring division or anything like that, you know you want them to have a great experience, right, and so this is who we are in our home and this is what we believe.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: This is how we act.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, but it always encourages because, again, there's the negative influence and there's also the positive influence when you're the person that can influence another child as a leader or as a parent, and so I think any opportunity you get to point people to Jesus and to speak life into them, it's a great thing.
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: So we love.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: Like you said, sleepovers we're big on like.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: If Jordan wants to have or hang out with his like, we would rather everyone.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: We could have 100 teenagers in our house.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: And we would rather have that than like him go somewhere else.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: And he's about to start driving, and so we're like, oh gosh like that might change and stuff, but we love hosting and hosting all of their friends and we'll go all out and stuff and we don't just like all right, you guys do whatever you want and go hide.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: No, we're really involved with our kids and so we're involved when, when his, their friends come over, that's great, and so, like a lot of his friends talking about Jordan and even Emery, they're surprised that our kids talk to us about their problems.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: They'll be like you guys talk about those things.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: And then our kids are like why?
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: Don't you talk to your parents and they're like no.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: And so again, it goes back to our values.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: In our home we communicate, we talk about things.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: I know there's things that my kids talk to my wife about, there's things that they'll talk to me, and then there's things that we'll just talk about at the table, and so discipleship doesn't mean necessarily we're going to sit down at the table every night.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Read a book, read the Bible.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: That's part of it, but again, it's the habits and the routines and the things that you create in your environment, at home that shape our children.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Absolutely yeah, and to your point, that helps them carry it outside.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: I mean seeing your kids.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: One thing I can say about the Conyas kids I mean they're very joyful, but I mean they have just such a pure, sincere heart and also a desire to serve.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: They're very helpful, they have a very helpful spirit and, to your point, that's a value that was instilled at home for them to take outside which is why.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: I think it's important.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Both ladies you were saying like those are really our first disciples, that's our first ministry and it truly is.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, you think about this I am responsible for no other humans on the planet except the ones that reside in my home.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: That's all I'm responsible for.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: You think about that statement and it's easy to get twisted and think, okay, well, the aim needs to be to be a good employer, a good boss, to be a good neighbor.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, those are good aims, absolutely.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: But I want to be a good husband and a good father.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's the legacy I want to leave.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: Man, I planted the seeds of the gospel in my kids' hearts.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: What they did with that's on them.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: But, man, did I steward them well, because I got to face God and give an account for that, and I want to be able to say Lord, listen, it was a joy, it was a delight to father the children that you blessed me with.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: And I think it's important to even.
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: You know, yes, instill values right, but understand where the values come from and understand who you're trying to imitate.
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: That's great.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: Because if you're actually trying to imitate Christ while raising your kids, that obviously is the best setup for parenting, because then they know that they're going to receive grace, because they have mercy coming to you whenever they that they know that they've messed up you know it's open arms and they're going to feel comfortable coming to you because they have an ear of understanding.
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: They know that.
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: You know, hey, I can call dad when you know whatever.
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: Or hey, I want to celebrate.
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: You know, and I think that's another thing important.
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: You know whatever, or hey, I want to celebrate.
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: You know, and I think that's another thing important.
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: You know that, not only leaving that space open for when issues come, but wanting to be the first ones to celebrate because, you know, I want to teach my child to have a relationship with the father in the good and the bad.
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: That's right.
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: You know, and so it's hey, come to me and let's celebrate this.
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: I want to celebrate the good things.
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: I don't want to just be on you for the bad.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: Right, that's absolutely right.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: That's so good, that's really good, that's good and I think it brings consistency.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're always, you know, trying to to Christ, like they're never going to wonder where our stance is on something.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: I mean, there is values that you carry in your home, but it's always going to point to Christ.
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: It's always going to point there and even like a perspective shift, like there's been times where my kids are like, oh, I don't want to, you know like, and you get to tell them like, how cool is it that you get to represent Jesus?
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: in this area, like how cool is it that you get to, you know, share those values and that love with people?
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: You know, just kind of sometimes just shifting a perspective, and they know that because they know who Jesus is and they know, you know, they've seen you model it and they know like it's cool to get to do that.
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: You know, and not just that we get to do that, that they get to do that too, as they get older and we get to show them what that looks like and what a privilege and honor that is like.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: To just shift to that perspective is a cool thing to do and watch as a parent.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, it is, I heard, I don't remember the quote exactly, but when it comes to just life in general, like the only thing that ends up mattering the most is your family, yeah.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: And so we invest so much time in our work, so much time in even our crafts at time, like we want to be the best at all these things, and so we invest, and there's nothing wrong with that.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: But everything we do in life will impact our family in one way or another.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: And so then, the way that we translate our, our education, and you know if you're in, like what do you call it?
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: Like just extended education?
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: or you know, you know you might.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: You might be 40 like us and still in school right now you know, and how does that impact your raising your children Like it's?
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: It's inspiring them but at the same time, there's a price that's being paid because you're not spending time with them or something.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: Everything we do from when we choose to go to the gym and there's a lot of good things that we need to do for us and care for us because you know, at the end of the day and let's talk about that a little bit because like we have a teenager, like two teenagers, and we have a four-year-old, and so sometimes we're, like man, like we got to spend so much time with our kids and we got to do it, and you got parents that are traveling and bouncing back and forth, taking their kids everywhere, yeah, but then their own mental health, their own physical health, is not well.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: And they're struggling because they're so or they seem to be so invested in their children.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: What does that look like?
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Is that good Dad?
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it reminds me of the famous adage Sorry, I keep bumping this mic here.
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, windy, in here it's windy yeah.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: We cut a hole in Romer's wall.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: I don't know why, but we did it.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: You can't pour from an empty cup and so I think to your point you can get like it's a.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: It's a really delicate balance, and I'm using that word on purpose, because you don't want your home to become kid centric, where everything, all the rhythms, revolve around what the kids have going on and their needs.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: And you don't want it to become parent-centric, to where the kids are bystanders.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: So it has to become Christ-centric.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: And I think Jesus is the perfect model, because we saw him over and over again stealing away to a desolate place to pray, to spend time with the Father.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: And I think out of that, out of his connection with his Heavenly Father, jesus knew how to do ministry in an effective way, like he did ministry to thousands, but he knew how to come away with the 12 and really pull in the three.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: He just had a great rhythm, a great dynamic regarding ministry.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: So I think we have to prioritize our relationship with Christ.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: Like you were saying, that's the foundation there, right, john 15,.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Jesus says I am the vine, you are the branches.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: He says abide in me, and I love this, it's fascinating.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: He says I'll abide in you.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: We don't often think about Jesus abiding in us, but he says I'll abide in you.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: Then he says apart from me you can do nothing.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: So I can't parent effectively apart from Christ.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: So I think we have to start there.
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: Martin Luther made this quote.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: He said I have so much to attend to that I must spend three hours in prayer.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: I've got so much on my plate.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: He recognized because I have so much on my plate.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: Let me first go to the one who gave me the plate.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: Let me go to the one who's going to help me navigate this and effectively manage everything that I have going on.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: So I think we have to start there and that's another great way to model discipleship for our children.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: That's another way Like if they see Mommy and Daddy praying do they see Mommy and Daddy reading Scripture.
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: Do they hear?
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: us talking about scripture.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean, so I think you have to start there.
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah and talk about that Like, hey, I don't have it all together.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: There used to be a time where I really guarded that quiet I had to be before my kids woke up.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: I just had to have that quiet time and then I just started thinking about it.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: My kids don't even know, of course.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: I read the Bible other times and prayed at other times, but that time, with the Lord, I started doing it more like, hey, come downstairs, come pray with me, come sit in my lap while we read.
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: Let your kids see, that's where you get your strength from and your joy from.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Let them know that's where it's coming from.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: We don't have to have it all together.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: We can't just act like we're perfect parents on our own because they're going to see that and think that's how they need to walk in life.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: Like you have to let them know that everything comes from the Lord and, and you know, just admit that and be, you know, honest about that.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I even tell my kids like hey, I'm going to pray about that.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: I don't have the answer to that right now.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: I know what I want to say, but I'm going to pray about that.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: Let them know that it's not all you.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: That's so good, Tiff.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: I'm going to pray Now.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: You're inviting them into the conversation.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: Let's talk.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: This brings me before the Lord.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: And now they know, as they get older.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, love it.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: Come on.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: Come on, let's talk about this.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Maybe we can end with this.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: What are some?
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: We mentioned a few, but what are some practices like things that we intentionally do with our children with the intent of pointing them to Christ?
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: So there's the things we just do because this is how we raise our kids.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: This is what we do in our house, right.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: But what are the things that we intentionally do because we want to see them love the Lord and that's been kind of our path, I think yeah.
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: I don't give her an option.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: Okay, seriously.
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think nowadays parents are getting a little too lax on.
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: I'm going to let them choose what they want to do and all of this kind of stuff.
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: You don't have an option in this house, and that also goes with her friends.
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: That's one thing with her friends, whoever she hangs around.
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: I want also them to know it's not an option to not talk about Christ in my house.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: Like we're not going to skate around, that You're coming into my house, guess what we're going to do.
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: That's great.
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: And I don't ask her hey, do you want to go serve and rock babies at the 1030?
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: I tell her, hi, guess what they need you to go rock babies at the 1030,.
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: I tell her, hi, guess what they need you to go rock babies at the 1030 service?
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: And because if I'm not telling her, somebody else is going to tell her, and so I would just much rather.
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: And she's 17.
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: She's very close to, and what I'm realizing now is she's okay, she has that.
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: It's comfort, yeah, you know of.
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: I think kids have too many options, doing too many things.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: Now does she have free reign to do some things?
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: Absolutely Sure, 100%.
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: I'm going to let her choose whether she wants to go spend her money at Ulta or Boot Barn, right, I don't care, right?
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: Hey, y'all know my kid.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: Yes, right, very true.
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: But I think kids nowadays have too many options and so, just like you said, as for me and my house, we are going to serve the Lord, that's right.
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: That's not an option for you, right, like I understand that you have your own brain and you can't ride on my faith, right?
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: But one thing that I know is true is God's word Yep, and I know that if I raise you in this moment, you will not depart from it.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: That's good.
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: And so she doesn't have a choice.
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: She's going to be in heaven with me, so there's no option.
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: That's so good, yeah.
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: So I think for our house it's not an option, yeah.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: That is awesome.
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: Yes, it's not an option.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: It's nothing to even be discussed, right, I was speaking to a lady in our church and she was telling me she's older.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: She was telling me about her daughters and how they hit a certain age, both of her daughters and they both kind of strayed from the church and she was just talking me through what that season was like.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: I was asking her, I just wanted to know.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: I'm like I don't have kids of that age at the moment and she's like you know you do worry and all you could do is pray at times, especially when they're adults and she's like.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: But you know what they reached this season in their lives where they came back to the Lord, they surrendered their lives to God and she goes.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: That's because we planted that seed and it doesn't always develop the way you want it, because God has to still do things in them.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: That can only happen on the grounds that he has for them, not in your house.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: So there's going to be things that our kids are going to be exposed to that have to happen outside of the house and we will have no control of how that plays out, or what happens but that seed and let's go.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: That's awesome.
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: No option Love it.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: One of the things we do at our house is I pray with the kids every single night before bed, every single night.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: And I started doing that, I really started leaning in to being consistent with that during the time of prayer and fasting, and I just asked them hey, what do you want to pray with and seek God about?
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: And they just each told me what it was and just prayed with them.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: And not only do I pray with them, but I follow up and say, hey, listen, you know, you know, we've been praying about this for a couple of weeks.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: You know, have you seen, you know, the Lord growing this?
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: Have you seen God move?
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: Because the other part of prayer is the expectation hey, god, not only does God hear prayer, but he answers prayer, and so I walk them both through 1 John, 5, 14 and 15.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: Hey, we have this confidence towards him that whatever we ask, according to his will, he hears us, but he also answers us.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: And I think that's the part there, too, is I don't want my kids to think that prayer is unilateral, right, does that make sense?
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Like I'm just speaking to God?
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: No, no, I want you to trust that God is going to answer that prayer because, he loves you.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: The book of Proverbs says he delights in the prayer of the upright, and so it's cool to hear them say well, dad, you know, like my son, you know we were praying just through friendships.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: And a kid who was rezoned for Kirkwood reached out to him and they started a weekly Bible study and I'm like OK, man that's awesome, because that's what my son wanted and with my daughter is praying against fear.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: She was like dad, I get great sleep now, I don't worry, I don't have nightmares, so like, and I said, hey, can we just thank God for that?
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: So, that they understand that God actually heard your prayer.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: And it's.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: It's funny now, cause it's to the point now where my daughter, especially she'll, she'll pop up in our bedroom before bedtime and she's like all right, dad, time for my prayer.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: And I just, I just love that you know that.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: That they just understand the value and the importance of that and that's all I'm doing, I'm just praying with them.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: I think that's one part, and then the other part is training.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: Matthew 28,.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: Jesus says go, ye, therefore, and make disciples.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: Go, make disciples comma, teaching them to obey.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: So last week the Lord just said hey, you need to train your son on biblical manhood.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: And this is really probably our foundational scripture for strong men discipleship, 1 Corinthians 16.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: And it says you know, be, be, be firm, be firm in the faith, be strong, be courageous, act like men, do everything in love.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: And I walked my son.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: I took about 30 minutes, I just walked him through that scripture.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: That verse is line by line by line.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is what it means to be courageous, this is what it means to stand firm in the faith, this is what it means to be strong, this is what it means to do everything in love.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: And you know, I was just telling him hey, men, real men, they bless, they protect women and children, like that.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: That's what they do.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: And I told him.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: I said, son, I'm not raising you to be a boy, I'm raising you to be a man.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: You're not going to be a boy forever.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: But he asked me.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: He said, dad, why?
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: And he says my son's always been very inquisitive.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: He's like why are you teaching me all this?
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Why are you telling me this?
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: And his son is for two reasons.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: He said number one.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: I said my father never really sat me down and taught me.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: I said that's number one.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: And I said I'm teaching you this because I said this is what biblical manhood looks like.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: And I said I want you to teach your son.
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: And he looked at me.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: He's like I don't want to teach my son.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: I said, okay, teach him this verse.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: So I made him memorize it and after three days he had it memorized.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: I said, second the world is telling you right now not going to to your point, emily the world is, like you said, telling you right now what manhood looks like, how much money you have, how big your car is, how many cars you have.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: These are your options.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, these are your options, right.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: And I said that's not biblical manhood.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: This scripture right here, this is biblical manhood.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: And he's like, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: He's like you know, dad, he just started telling me about some of the things his friends talk about and I said, yeah, I said you're different, you're not going to talk about those things.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: And so he has started bringing this Bible to again.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: It's praying every night but then actually intentionally discipling and training, like with my daughter.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: I talk with her about friends and we define what biblical friendship is.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: And I say, hey, you need to think through your friend group.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: Now I have her memorizing the book of Proverbs If you walk with the wise, you become wise.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: Walk with the foolish and suffer harm.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: And I say, hey, let's walk through.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: And I said, would you define your friend group right now was wise or foolish?
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: You got real quiet.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: You know the teenage girls get quiet.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: They ain't thinking right.
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: yeah no, they're not thinking, they already know that's what I learned on the back end.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: That's what I should have learned on the back end.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: She already knew she was like what they're going to say.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: She's thinking how am I going to tell dad?
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: This but to your point.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: I'm just creating a space.
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: You answer that question.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: But I'm really just trying to get the ball rolling and the hamster moving on the wheel to get you thinking about this kind of stuff.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: And I said, baby, listen, let's go back and read what the scripture says.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: It doesn Now think about that.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: I said there's a phrase GBA, guilt by association.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: I said are you familiar with this?
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: She's like oh, yeah, because she's gotten in trouble before hanging with the wrong crowd.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: I said you suffered harm.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: And I said you weren't even being foolish, you were just hanging with fools.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: She's like okay, I see what you're saying.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: I said so let's think about your five closest.
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: Are they foolish or are they wise?
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so, and she's processing that like man.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: And I said you just might have to have some conversations, right, and say, hey, I can't be your friend.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: You're making choices that are foolish, yeah, and they're going to lead to my heart.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: So, that's what I think through prayer and actual teaching, training and instruction.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: And you said guilty by association.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: I remember the story of in middle school.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we're in the playground, we're middle school, we're cool.
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: I think I was seventh grade.
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: Everybody's cool in middle school.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: I was really cool though, yes, and so we're all these dudes.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: I used to hang out with everyone.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: I was an athlete.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: I played first chair violin.
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: I was in like honors classes.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: I hung out with everyone like the cholos, the gangsters.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: I just love it.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: I look at my son today, jordan, and he talks to everyone and I'm like that's who I was as well when.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: I was his age and so I was hanging out.
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: This time I was hanging out with all the kids that I played basketball.
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: I grew up playing basketball and so we were on our way to.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: We had lockers back then.
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: Now our kids don't have lockers.
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: And so one of the kids I won't say his name, but he's like hey, I want to show you guys something.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: And so we were all following him and we're heading into the building, but as we're crossing one of the basketball courts outside, all of a sudden I just got pooped on by birds and like a lot.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: It was like horrible.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: It was like, you know, just sound effects, but you can watch it on video.
• 41:51
  Speaker 4: That was actually a really good sound effect.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: It was like a lot of good splat, you know, and so I get, you know, pooped on by birds and the guys laugh and they're like dude.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: I'm like I'll just go to locker room, because then we had lockers in the gym.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: So I had a change of clothes.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: So I'm like I'm just going to go change my shirt.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: All this.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: So they all go in the building, go to the locker, I go change my shirt, I run out trying to chase them.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: By the time I make it to the building they're all in handcuffs, whoa, and I'm like what's going on?
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: And they're like friend had a shotgun in his locker and all these kids you had, you had, you had kids that were different like I.
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: I would say phases of life.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: You know, you know as far as education and what where they were at, but none of these kids were like bad yeah but because one kid thought it was cool to bring a shotgun to school, they all had to finish middle school and alternative school.
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: So, for two years they had to go to alternative school.
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: And had I not got pooped on by a bird?
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: So I look at that.
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: No, you got pooped.
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: You got doo-doo from the Lord.
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: That's what that was.
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: That's what that was Seriously.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: But again, again guilty by association.
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: These guys suffered the consequences of somebody else's foolishness.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: And so, as a parent, like with my kids, we pray every day at school Like, hey, god, help them, remind them, they're a leader, not a follower, you know, keep them.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: Let them be great company to other people.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: Keep that corrupt company away from them.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: And you know, and it's those little prayers and no question, I don't doubt that my mom wasn't praying for me.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: You know, even to the day she still prays for me and my family and I think that's a practice.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: That might not be a direct practice, you might not physically.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: There's some parents that I know you pray with their kids every night.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: There's others that are like I don't know how to do that Right, but they spend time praying for their kids.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: I think the act of prayer, like just praying for your children.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: Cover your kids, cover them.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: It goes such a long way, absolutely, listen.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: I want to take time right now.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: Let me just pastor the parents in the room, figuratively.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: You are authorized and equipped and you have been appointed by God to be the spiritual covering for your children.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: Like you need to understand that it's a solemn somber but it's a joyous appointment.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: God has entrusted your children to you, but you're not alone in parenting your kids.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: You have the spirit of the living God.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: If you have his anointing, his empowerment and his enablement, you can cover your kids in prayer.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: If you say, like you said, pastor, I don't know what else to start with, just pray for your kids.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: You say, well, I don't know what prayers to pray, google it, google 10 prayers.
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: Seriously to cover your kids.
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: We live in the information age Right.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: I just want to call you forward and encourage you.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: God entrusted you with your children for a reason.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, nobody's perfect.
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: There ain't no one singular handbook on it.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, there is a guidebook.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: The best guidebook is the Bible.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: But Jesus said in John 15 and John 16, I'm sending you another helper, the comforter, the Holy Spirit.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: He said he will guide you in all truth.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: If you just start there and say Holy Spirit, how do I pray for my kids?
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: I promise you the Holy Spirit will give you the words to pray over your kids.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: He'll give you discernment.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: He will reveal to you what your kids are going through.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: He will show you where the enemy's trying to come in through the back door, the side door, the front door, the gate, the chimney, the basement.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: He will reveal these things to you because Jesus said he would.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: He said he'll guide you in all truth.
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: All truth.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: And you got to remember God loves your kids way more than you do.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: Way more than you do.
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: And just as much as you want good for them, god wants it even more.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: So why don't you pray to the one who can actually do good toward your kids Come on, come on.
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: I love that, I love it, yeah, and just keeping that communication open, that's it.
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: Like I love.
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: You know I do nightly devotionals with my kids that are home, but like that communication stretches to you know, from my nine-year-old to my 22-year-old, they're going to call their mom you know, and I think having that communication I think you talked about it like you know, just talking to your kids and just having that open door all the time and just you know they're going to want to know.
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: You know what I think about it and I'm going to want to know what the Lord thinks about it.
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: I'm going to share it with them, you know like I just think having that communication with your kids so that they can come to you if something feels off, if something is going great you can celebrate Like just that you're that person that they want to come to, is just so important.
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: To just ask them questions, Ask them specific questions, not just hey, how was your day Good?
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: Ask them specific questions about their day and just have that communication.
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: Let them know that you're interested in their life.
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: You want to know the things.
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: That's right and some of the things kids say you're going to be like man so I also feel.
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: There's situations where it's not so much the parents but grandparents Like.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: I know there's, you know, in our own family where the grandparents are the ones raising the children for their children, and so if you're a grandparent like, be encouraged, feel empowered to point them to Jesus.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: You know it's a privilege in your life if you've raised your children and now you get to raise their children, you might feel like I'm supposed to be enjoying this time.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: Well, the Lord knew why.
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: You know he needed you to also invest into your grandchildren.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: As a parent, I know some kids that they'll call their grandparents mom and dad.
• 47:30
  Speaker 4: That's right, that's what they are.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: And so don't feel like it's not your place.
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: If the Lord has gifted you with that opportunity to just love on them as well, point them to Jesus and that's going to go such a long way.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: Yes, it is.
• 47:46
  Speaker 4: Man, it's so good, and I know that there are people who can't physically have kids or anything like that.
• 47:51
  Speaker 4: Yes, you are of influence right so.
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: I mean the biggest thing as parents is.
• 47:57
  Speaker 4: God has gifted us little people to have influence over them, and so, and little people grow up to be big people, and so you don't necessarily have to be a biological parent, you don't have to be a grandparent, you don't have to be a grandparent, you don't have to.
• 48:11
  Speaker 4: Right, I have young women that look up to me, I look up to older women who look at me as a daughter, and so it doesn't.
• 48:23
  Speaker 4: None of this has to yes.
• 48:26
  Speaker 4: Does this help biologically?
• 48:27
  Speaker 4: Absolutely 100%, Because Lord knows, all of us parents need help.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: That is tough, yeah.
• 48:34
  Speaker 4: Being a parent is tough, but it doesn't have to be directed towards biological or grandparent, or even adopted or foster.
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: You know, you don't have to have that label you know, be this person who God needed you to be.
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: for that person, that's so good, that's so good, that's so good.
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: My, my, uh, my mother-in-law, my wife's mom, she would say she, she raised four girls.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: And, to your point, you know, you get to a stage where it feels like the things that you're sharing it's in one ear and out the other.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: Right, you might as well just be talking to the wall.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: And she made this statement.
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: She said, she said I would sow into others, right?
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, if anybody knows Carolyn's mom, they called her mother Cooper for a reason, and she truly is a spiritual mother.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: And she would say I would sow into these other children so that, as my kids got older, somebody would sow into them.
• 49:27
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: So she's, she's being for these kids what she would need somebody to be for her kids, absolutely, and that's speaking to exactly what you're saying.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: I want to encourage that.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: If you're a spiritual parent, if you're a coach, if you're a mentor, if you're a teacher, an instructor, a neighbor yeah, I mean I got to brag on my neighbor Dino I mean he's an influencer that doesn't even realize he loves being outdoors and he's shooting hoops and the neighborhood kids are running out and they're playing hoops and it looks like just an ordinary endeavor, but what they're around is a positive male figure and I don't know what's going on in these kids' homes, but they know for that hour, a couple of hours, that what they're mad is like yelling at them.
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: It's not abusing them.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: Who was pushing them was coaching them, challenging them?
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: But he's a man of God.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it could be as simple as that, yeah, so whatever capacity God has given influence over the next generation, which is the now generation, embrace it.
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: Yep, that's why he doesn't go play basketball with me, cause he know he'll get schooled.
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: No, cause he's out there playing with them all right.
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right oh man, hey, this was great yeah I really enjoyed this conversation and again, for those of you that are parents, we just encourage you love on your kids.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: If you're not a parent, love on the kids around you.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: Like everyone's going to grow up to be an adult.
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: You know, and you never know the influence that you're making and it goes beyond especially now with the internet everything you post, everything you say, is being watched by by little eyes, and so thank you for the time, emily.
• 50:58
  Speaker 4: It's always a pleasure it was fun, thank you tiffy toast if I stop answering to it, will it go away?
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: no, because the camera cuts to you when we say tiffy toast, I know.
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: But I went like this, like, like who are you talking to?
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: Oh no, We'll just make sure I would have repeated tippy toes for talking to you.
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: Okay, don't make it awkward.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: And always a pleasure, pastor Willie, and so for those of you joining us, just thank you again for being part of our podcast.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: Thank you for watching on YouTube.
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: It's been awesome just to see some of the comments that are coming in, and we do this not for our own pleasure, but we know that there's people that these conversations can be a blessing to you and encouragement as well, and so if you have any questions, if there's anything that we can do for you, please let us know, email us.
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: You can also reach out at our social media handles, lifepointchurch, or our creative social media, at LifePointCreative.
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: And so that's it for today.
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: Peace, you gonna rap.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: It's your boy when you see it.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: Lpc, worship and leadership make you better, me and you.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: I'm fading your mic.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: I'm fading your mic, fading mic, peace, peace out y'all.