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Alzheimer’s and memory care with Meghan Phelan · The Trauma Therapist

0:00
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Trauma Therapist Podcast. My name is Guy McPherson.
0:04
Speaker 1: I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to helping
0:07
Speaker 1: those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank you
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Speaker 1: to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting this show.
0:15
Speaker 1: So five, four, three, two, and one. Our folks, welcome
0:18
Speaker 1: back to the podcast. Very excited to have as my
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Speaker 1: guest today, Megan Phelan. Megan, welcome.
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Speaker 2: Thank you. I'm excited to be here. Thanks for having me. Awesome.
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Speaker 1: Awesome. Megan is a senior care leader with nearly two
0:30
Speaker 1: decades of experience supporting families navigating aging, dementia, and in-home care.
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Speaker 1: She's part of the leadership team at Granny Nanny's Miami,
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Speaker 1: where she focuses on helping families access personalized care that
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Speaker 1: allows loved ones to remain safely at home. Megan's especially
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Speaker 1: passionate about Alzheimer's and memory care education, working to ensure
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Speaker 1: caregivers are properly trained while providing guidance and support to
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Speaker 1: families during difficult transitions. All right, Megan. A little bit
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Speaker 1: about you, but before we get going, share with the
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Speaker 1: listeners where you're from originally and where you are currently. Sure.
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Speaker 3: I was born in San Francisco, California, and I spent
1:10
Speaker 3: a few years there until we migrated to Central Florida where.
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Speaker 2: I went to school.
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Speaker 3: And ultimately now I've been in Miami, Florida for 15 years.
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Speaker 1: Okay. Awesome. All right. So let's start. How did all
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Speaker 1: this begin for you?
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Speaker 3: Sure. Yeah, I went to college for health service administration.
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Speaker 3: And I decided to get into the long-term care field
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Speaker 3: because that is the direction that a professor told me
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Speaker 3: to go. And I started working in a luxury assisted
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Speaker 3: living facility. And it was beautiful. I learned a lot
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Speaker 3: about the senior care industry there. And connecting with the
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Speaker 3: clients and the patients and the residents that would move
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Speaker 3: in really gave me the insight to launch ultimately what,
1:58
Speaker 3: what is my career now?
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Speaker 2: I would tour the facility.
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Speaker 3: I would show families, uh, their options to move into
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Speaker 3: the facility, but everybody had the common denominator of, you
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Speaker 3: know what, Megan, I love this place. It's beautiful, but
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Speaker 3: I just want to stay home. Home is where they're
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Speaker 3: most comfortable.
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Speaker 1: So I worked, worked, I spent as part of my, um,
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Speaker 1: doctorate program, I spent some time working in a facility
2:31
Speaker 1: for memory care. And it was a huge wake-up call
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Speaker 1: and a learning opportunity for me. It's not for everyone, certainly.
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Speaker 1: I mean, like every population isn't for everyone. But when
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Speaker 1: you first started working in that environment, what was that
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Speaker 1: like for you?
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Speaker 3: Well, for me, it was natural. I'm a relational person.
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Speaker 3: I like building relationships with people. And that was the
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Speaker 3: core of not only my job, but also keeping my
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Speaker 3: job fun. You know, building the relationships with those residents,
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Speaker 3: understanding where they came from.
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Speaker 2: And it really made me realize that they have a
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Speaker 2: lot to offer.
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Speaker 3: A lot of time, elderly people, especially ones with cognitive impairment,
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Speaker 3: will get undermined in society. But those are the people,
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Speaker 3: if you just sit and listen and build a relationship
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Speaker 3: with them, they have so much to say and so
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Speaker 3: much to offer because they've been here for so long.
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Speaker 2: So I loved it.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, that's an awesome perspective and an awesome view,
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Speaker 1: which obviously our culture doesn't share, right? Generally speaking, like
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Speaker 1: you said, a lot of times, most times, most often
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Speaker 1: the elderly are what? Shunned, kind of left... put under
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Speaker 1: the rug. All right. So you started out in that
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Speaker 1: environment because one of your teachers was like, you should
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Speaker 1: get into this field. So you start in that one setting.
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Speaker 1: How do things unfold for you? Yes.
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Speaker 3: So after a couple of years there and climbing their
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Speaker 3: corporate ladder and hearing the common objection of, I just
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Speaker 3: want to stay home. I just want to age in place.
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Speaker 3: I really don't want to live here. unless I have to,
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Speaker 3: that inspired me to say, well, you know what? What
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Speaker 3: about assisting people in their age in place plan? They
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Speaker 3: want to age in place at home. And that is
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Speaker 3: how I derived the idea to come down to Miami
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Speaker 3: where my former business partner had roots and open up
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Speaker 3: a home care division, because then that's where the elderly
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Speaker 3: person feels most comfortable. Their nervous system feels the best.
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Speaker 3: And ultimately I was hearing throughout the years, that's where
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Speaker 3: people want to be. So why not help them stay
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Speaker 3: at home and age in place gracefully?
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Speaker 1: So you said create an age in place division. Was
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Speaker 1: that part of the company that you worked for? You
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Speaker 1: were going to create a separate division? Or you were
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Speaker 1: going to create your own business?
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Speaker 3: So right before I left the company that I was
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Speaker 3: working for, I created.
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Speaker 2: That division for them.
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Speaker 1: Okay.
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Speaker 2: A home care division.
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Speaker 3: And then I said, you know, I could do this
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Speaker 3: on my own. And that's when I moved down to
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Speaker 3: Miami and started.
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Speaker 2: My own business.
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Speaker 1: Okay. So... What were you noticing specifically that people wanted
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Speaker 1: or needed? Was it just, we just want to be
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Speaker 1: at home and that's it? What was missing from these,
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Speaker 1: you said at one point it was a luxury place.
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Speaker 1: I'm assuming they had a lot of facilities and amenities.
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Speaker 1: What were they missing?
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Speaker 3: Well, I have done a lot of thought on that
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Speaker 3: over the years. And where I'm at with that right
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Speaker 3: now is... Home is where people feel the most calm.
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Speaker 3: It's where their nervous system feels the most calm because
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Speaker 3: it's familiar. It's a lot of times they've spent 50
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Speaker 3: and 60 years in this environment. And so that environment
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Speaker 3: is tied to a lot of memories, a lot of milestones,
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Speaker 3: a lot of heartache, but a lot of joy. So
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Speaker 3: my answer to that now is home because that's where
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Speaker 3: people feel the most calm.
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Speaker 2: That's where they go to recalibrate. That's their peace.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty straightforward, right? It's pretty simple. Now, in
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Speaker 1: the bio, I mentioned that Alzheimer's and memory care was
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Speaker 1: kind of a special interest for you. Why is that?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, logistically, if you look.
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Speaker 3: At all the reasons why people call me Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, stroke,
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Speaker 3: By far, Alzheimer's, dementia, cognitive impairment is the most devastating
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Speaker 3: diagnosis to not just the person, but the entire family structure.
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Speaker 3: Everybody gets involved. Finances get involved. Physical burnout happens. Emotional
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Speaker 3: burnout is happening. Anticipatory grief is happening. So that is
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Speaker 3: the most devastating, I think, sector of my business. And
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Speaker 3: that's why I wanted to jump in and try to
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Speaker 3: provide support.
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Speaker 1: What is it about this? I mean, as you said,
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Speaker 1: you kind of felt like this was your zone in
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Speaker 1: a place. You're a relational person. You could do this work.
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Speaker 1: What is it about you that allows you to do
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Speaker 1: this work? This is not easy. This is really challenging.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that I just am a leader that
7:45
Speaker 3: understands trauma from lived experience. So I come into this
7:52
Speaker 3: world where it is deeply traumatic to watch your parent
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Speaker 3: age because the roles reverse, because there's devastating illness that
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Speaker 3: is on the table, because there's devastation in finances, because
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Speaker 3: it primarily is expensive to age in place. So with
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Speaker 3: all that trauma happening in the family system, I feel
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Speaker 3: like my actual lived trauma that I've had helps me
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Speaker 3: help others work through this. So it's my lived experience
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Speaker 3: that just makes it like a natural rhythm for me
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Speaker 3: and a natural.
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Speaker 2: Way to give back.
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Speaker 1: If I may, what was your lived experience?
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Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. So let me think about that answer for
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Speaker 2: a second.
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Speaker 1: Okay.
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Speaker 3: So over the course of the last two decades, I've
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Speaker 3: moved through multiple high stress relationship environments. So from childhood
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Speaker 3: to now, and I normalized chaotic living situations and dysfunction
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Speaker 3: because it kept.
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Speaker 2: Me in a familiar territory.
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Speaker 3: And I really didn't understand that my nervous system was
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Speaker 3: driving my choice, my choices. And when you have a
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Speaker 3: dysregulated nervous system, you're going to make dysregulated choices.
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Speaker 2: I thought I was operating from gut.
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Speaker 3: Instinct, but what I was really operating from was a
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Speaker 3: familiarity in chaos.
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Speaker 2: So I feel like.
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Speaker 3: Because I have that lived experience, and then I have
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Speaker 3: ultimately the consequences that I faced before, because of not
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Speaker 3: identifying dysregulation.
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Speaker 2: That's how I can help people.
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Speaker 3: Because I've rebuilt from systematic collapse and consequences that required
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Speaker 3: me to rebuild.
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Speaker 1: Well, it sounds like you've done a lot of self-reflection
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Speaker 1: and honed some self-awareness. How does that show up for you?
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Speaker 1: How are you able to kind of tap into that
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Speaker 1: in this work that you do?
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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I learned that safety is consistency. So that's
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Speaker 3: a lesson that I've had to reshape when I lead.
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Speaker 3: So I I really didn't understand what was happening, like
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Speaker 3: I told you, in my nervous system. And that lack
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Speaker 3: of awareness was kind of shaping my life for a
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Speaker 3: really long time. So it was really me taking a
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Speaker 3: step back and finally realizing that I was living in
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Speaker 3: survival mode.
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Speaker 2: So that's when I saw that. This is not safety.
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Speaker 3: I created systems within my business to create safety. I
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Speaker 3: created systems in my home to create safety. And at
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Speaker 3: first it felt really mundane, really like, oh, does this
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Speaker 3: really like help? Do my caregivers really like the support
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Speaker 3: group that I've set up? Do they really do they
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Speaker 3: think that when I check in emotionally with them, it's
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Speaker 3: me prying?
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Speaker 2: Like, do they really like this?
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Speaker 3: So in the beginning, it was me just creating the
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Speaker 3: support system in my business, checking in on my caregivers,
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Speaker 3: making sure they're not burning out, making sure my staff
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Speaker 3: are okay, my children, checking in with my children, just
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Speaker 3: emotional heads up. At first, I thought that that was mundane.
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Speaker 3: But then I saw over time that it's structured, it's safe,
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Speaker 3: it opens the communication lines.
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Speaker 2: And that's just what I did in my business in
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Speaker 2: my home. Little, little tweaks.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. Let's talk a little bit more
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Speaker 1: about your business, what that looks like in your business
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Speaker 1: and why... Aside from or in addition to just it
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Speaker 1: being safe and consistent, why is it important in your business?
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Speaker 1: What does it look like for the people who you're
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Speaker 1: working with or your clients?
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Speaker 3: Well, it just gives them like a checkpoint where they
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Speaker 3: have it out. They don't have to think that going
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Speaker 3: and going and going is strength, that I'm giving them
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Speaker 3: permission to take a breath, take a pause.
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Speaker 2: Step out of the tornado.
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Speaker 3: Look at the tornado and really make sure that they're okay.
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Speaker 1: Right. Step out of the tornado. I love that.
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Speaker 3: So I just give them a chance to step out
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Speaker 3: of the, of the tornado basically.
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Speaker 2: And, and really, are you good? Or do you need
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Speaker 2: a little more time?
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Speaker 1: No. Was that something that was this idea of creating
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Speaker 1: safety and consistency and that you realized from your own experience?
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Speaker 1: Was this something that you implemented right away when you
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Speaker 1: started your own business or did it come after a bit?
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Speaker 2: It came after.
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Speaker 3: I was about halfway through my career or about three
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Speaker 3: quarters away of where I am now. And I experienced
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Speaker 3: some institutional consequences to my own dysregulation. And when that
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Speaker 3: happened to me, That's when I took a pause, stopped everything,
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Speaker 3: and started to have to rebuild my life legally, professionally, personally.
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Speaker 3: And that's when I said, I'm all in. And it
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Speaker 3: changes now.
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Speaker 1: Okay. You don't have to talk about anything you don't
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Speaker 1: want to talk about. What do you mean institutional consequences?
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Speaker 2: There was a.
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Speaker 3: Night that my nervous system was like in full survival mode.
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Speaker 3: And it was probably the moment that forced me to
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Speaker 3: confront how dysregulated I had become in.
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Speaker 2: The relationship that I was in.
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Speaker 3: So it forced me to confront what I've been living,
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Speaker 3: which was fight or flight for many, many years.
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Speaker 2: That was a pivot point for me.
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Speaker 1: Right. Okay. So let me just remind everyone, I'm speaking
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Speaker 1: with Megan Phelan. She is part of the leadership team
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Speaker 1: at Granny Nani's Miami. Okay. All right. So what do
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Speaker 1: you do specifically at Granny Nanny's? Who comes to you?
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Speaker 1: Who do you work with? What does it look like
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Speaker 1: when people come in and you start working with them?
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Speaker 1: Break it down.
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Speaker 2: So Granny Nanny's is a senior home care agency.
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Speaker 3: So we're providing home in the house or the assisted
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Speaker 3: living facility that they're at. And what Granny Nanny's specializes
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Speaker 3: in is pre-selecting, vetting, And matchmaking the perfect caregiver into
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Speaker 3: the home of the elderly so they can age in
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Speaker 3: place safely.
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Speaker 1: You match the caregiver with the home. Okay. So you, what,
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Speaker 1: train people to go into homes to work with them? Yes.
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Speaker 3: Well, they usually come to us with nursing assistance training
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Speaker 3: or home health aid training, and then we'll put them
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Speaker 3: through our vetting process to see if they're a good
15:01
Speaker 3: fit for us to then refer.
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Speaker 2: To our clients.
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Speaker 1: Okay. And let's talk a little bit more about that
15:08
Speaker 1: because I'm thinking of our listeners who are mental health
15:11
Speaker 1: practitioners of all kinds, and I kind of want to
15:14
Speaker 1: segue into what they need to know What are some
15:23
Speaker 1: common misperceptions of the elderly or working with the elderly
15:28
Speaker 1: or helping or treating them? So when you're working with
15:33
Speaker 1: these nannies, in a sense, what are you looking for?
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Speaker 1: How are you vetting them? What's important?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's a good question.
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Speaker 3: You know, the truth is these care providers that are
15:46
Speaker 3: registered with me, they're registered with probably.
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Speaker 2: 10 of my competitors. we all look.
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Speaker 3: For this typical, do they check the box for the
15:57
Speaker 3: state license that I'm upholding in my office?
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Speaker 2: You know, background check, CPR, all of that. What I
16:06
Speaker 2: always tell.
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Speaker 3: People is when you're looking for a caregiver, we could
16:11
Speaker 3: do all those checks and that's great, but you really,
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Speaker 3: we really need to find someone that's doing this as
16:16
Speaker 3: a calling. So I look for people who have been
16:20
Speaker 3: that can provide me with references of families they've worked
16:23
Speaker 3: with for five or more years.
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Speaker 2: Consistently.
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Speaker 1: Wow.
16:27
Speaker 2: Yeah.
16:28
Speaker 1: I'm sure that excludes a lot of people. It does.
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Speaker 3: If they can't do that, then I probably can't refer
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Speaker 3: them to my clients. And that cuts out like 98%
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Speaker 3: of the applicants. I get 40 calls a week.
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Speaker 1: Right. Okay. What are some common misperceptions that, misunderstandings, people
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Speaker 1: we have of the elderly, or working with the elderly,
16:55
Speaker 1: or more specifically, memory issues, memory challenges? Wow, yes.
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Speaker 2: Common misconceptions.
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Speaker 3: That I'm trying to think of a conversation I had
17:11
Speaker 3: many years ago with somebody and she's like, you know what?
17:14
Speaker 2: I love what you do and I respect you for that.
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Speaker 3: Um, but I, I choose to work with children because
17:19
Speaker 3: then I actually could make a difference in someone's life. Yep.
17:23
Speaker 1: Yep.
17:24
Speaker 2: And I'm like, what do you mean? Can you explain that?
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Speaker 3: And she's like, well, their lives are at the end and,
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Speaker 3: and it does, it doesn't feel as fulfilling as what
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Speaker 3: the child has their entire life, you know?
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Speaker 2: And I just thought that was, um, not only inconsiderate,
17:38
Speaker 2: but a little.
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Speaker 3: Bit ignorant because anything can happen in your life, whether
17:43
Speaker 3: you're a child or you're an elder or an elderly person,
17:47
Speaker 3: you're not promised tomorrow. So for me, it's like, can
17:51
Speaker 3: you make a difference in someone's life? Not, can you
17:54
Speaker 3: make a difference in, I'd rather make a difference in
17:58
Speaker 3: a child's life because they're younger and they have more years.
18:00
Speaker 3: That's an assumption. You're not promised tomorrow. So I, I
18:05
Speaker 3: thought that a lot of people think, oh, I'd rather
18:07
Speaker 3: work with children than elderly because then I have a
18:09
Speaker 3: chance to change the future. And then you don't because
18:12
Speaker 3: no one's promised anything in the future.
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Speaker 1: I mean, I love your attitude. How did you get there?
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Speaker 1: Were you just born that way?
18:22
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. I've been through a lot.
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Speaker 3: Like I said, I've been through a lot and it's
18:29
Speaker 3: really shaped my journey.
18:32
Speaker 2: I've been through a lot.
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Speaker 1: Well, we've kind of danced around it a bit, and
18:40
Speaker 1: obviously we don't have to get more specific, but going
18:48
Speaker 1: through what you went through, is that what maybe gave
18:53
Speaker 1: you appreciation for the work you're doing, for the perspective
18:56
Speaker 1: you have?
18:58
Speaker 2: Oh, for sure, for sure. And because.
19:01
Speaker 3: And I thought of your podcast, too. I'm going into
19:04
Speaker 3: a trauma podcast.
19:05
Speaker 2: It's perfect.
19:05
Speaker 3: We could talk all day about granny nannies, but we
19:07
Speaker 3: can also talk about my past. And you know trauma
19:11
Speaker 3: starts in childhood.
19:12
Speaker 2: I mean, that's what I've learned. So it can. And
19:17
Speaker 2: so mine did, just like a lot of other people.
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Speaker 3: And it's just like step by step that trauma has evolved.
19:25
Speaker 2: So it has made me evolve.
19:27
Speaker 3: So this, you know, oh, I made this decision and
19:30
Speaker 3: I went this way and then something else happened and
19:32
Speaker 3: then I had to evolve and then I went this way.
19:35
Speaker 3: And now I'm ultimately sitting where I think I have
19:40
Speaker 3: been through so much that I can literally live today,
19:47
Speaker 3: be happy, take care of myself. alone, and enjoy everything
19:54
Speaker 3: that comes my way minute by minute because I've faced
19:59
Speaker 3: devastating diagnoses. I've faced dysregulated relationships. I faced devastation in
20:08
Speaker 3: the institutional setting legally, financially.
20:12
Speaker 2: And none of that matters to me. None of it.
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Speaker 3: So I think that's because once you get through all that,
20:18
Speaker 3: you're like, well, what really does.
20:19
Speaker 2: Matter now matters.
20:21
Speaker 3: Making a difference in your own life, your kid's life, and,
20:24
Speaker 3: you know, perhaps somebody else if you have the capacity.
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Speaker 1: I was like, damn, girl.
20:29
Speaker 2: Seriously, look at you.
20:32
Speaker 1: How did you get there? When, how did you start
20:39
Speaker 1: working on yourself? How, at what point did you seek
20:43
Speaker 1: out help? I'm assuming you saw a therapist at some point. What, what,
20:49
Speaker 1: what did help look like for you?
20:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, help looked pretty, um, pretty normal in the beginning.
20:58
Speaker 3: You know, you have a dysfunctional relationship and you go
21:01
Speaker 3: to a counselor. Okay.
21:02
Speaker 2: I've done that. And that helped me grow a little bit.
21:06
Speaker 2: And then.
21:08
Speaker 3: You keep going and you have another dysregulated relationship and
21:11
Speaker 3: you're like, ooh, what's going on here?
21:15
Speaker 2: This is like radical acceptance here. What choices did I make?
21:20
Speaker 3: And then you have, you know, an impactful night.
21:23
Speaker 1: And I did.
21:23
Speaker 3: I had an impactful moment where some decisions were made
21:26
Speaker 3: that weren't so great. And at that point, it was
21:29
Speaker 3: like a catastrophic.
21:33
Speaker 2: Foundational moment. collapse.
21:35
Speaker 3: And that was the moment where I said, well, you know,
21:38
Speaker 3: I don't have anything to lose.
21:40
Speaker 2: I either like decide to heal and.
21:43
Speaker 3: Look at myself in the mirror, or I'm not going
21:45
Speaker 3: to financially get out of this. I'm not going to
21:47
Speaker 3: physically get out of this. And I'm not definitely not
21:49
Speaker 3: emotionally going to.
21:50
Speaker 2: Get out of this.
21:51
Speaker 3: So it was like, uh, almost like a life or
21:54
Speaker 3: death situation. Uh, when after a couple of dysregulated relationships,
21:58
Speaker 3: a catastrophic event, and just as I was finally, uh,
22:03
Speaker 3: realizing that only I can make myself happy.
22:06
Speaker 2: Giving back to myself is so wonderful.
22:09
Speaker 3: Then I got hit with a pretty devastating diagnosis.
22:12
Speaker 2: Of what, if I may ask?
22:15
Speaker 3: So I haven't shared that with anyone but my doctor.
22:22
Speaker 3: So then I got that diagnosis, and I'm like, all right.
22:26
Speaker 3: Now I have to really look at myself. So I'm
22:29
Speaker 3: emotionally healing. I'm taking the radical acceptance.
22:32
Speaker 2: I'm giving back.
22:33
Speaker 3: You know, I'm staying, I'm staying alone and making myself happy.
22:36
Speaker 3: But now what am I doing to my body? Like
22:39
Speaker 3: what in the, like now I have a biological response
22:42
Speaker 3: to everything I've lived. And so that, I think the
22:46
Speaker 3: diagnosis was like, I was already turning and then that
22:50
Speaker 3: like made me turn finally, like.
22:53
Speaker 2: All right, physically, emotionally, spiritually.
22:56
Speaker 3: Now, now we're at zero and we're going to build up.
22:59
Speaker 1: You know what, Megan, first of all, thank you for, for,
23:02
Speaker 1: being here and sharing your story. And it's, to me,
23:07
Speaker 1: it's incredible to see and to hear how you've taken
23:15
Speaker 1: your life, the experiences of your life, the traumatic experience
23:20
Speaker 1: of your life, and kind of in a way distilled
23:23
Speaker 1: that into the incredible work you do. You know, this
23:27
Speaker 1: perspective of, and I love the way you put it,
23:31
Speaker 1: you know, when you were talking about that one person
23:33
Speaker 1: who was like I want to work with kids and
23:35
Speaker 1: nothing's wrong with working with kids but I want to
23:38
Speaker 1: make a difference in their lives or maybe that person
23:41
Speaker 1: thought they couldn't make a difference in an elderly person's
23:43
Speaker 1: life but your perspective of how about making a difference
23:50
Speaker 1: in someone's life not just that person over there or
23:53
Speaker 1: that person over there that's such an inspiring perspective to
23:58
Speaker 1: have and your ability then to bring that wisdom and
24:04
Speaker 1: passion into your work is amazing.
24:09
Speaker 2: Thank you. Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah.
24:11
Speaker 3: And just like a newsflash that I am healthier than
24:15
Speaker 3: I've ever been. So I've recovered from that too. So yeah,
24:19
Speaker 3: but I appreciate that.
24:23
Speaker 1: So when you, we were talking about, it's funny, I
24:27
Speaker 1: kind of go off the tangents a little bit, but
24:29
Speaker 1: we were talking about you vetting prospective, uh, what nannies and, uh,
24:39
Speaker 1: kind of immediately 98% of them can't take that one box.
24:44
Speaker 1: How do you know when, I mean, I would imagine
24:49
Speaker 1: it's hard, but how do you know when this is
24:50
Speaker 1: someone's passion? Cause they could say, yeah, it's my passion
24:53
Speaker 1: to work, you know, in this field of memory care,
24:58
Speaker 1: but maybe it's not. How do you know?
25:01
Speaker 2: I look at patterns and that's something we learn.
25:04
Speaker 3: You know, we learn this in counseling and we learn
25:08
Speaker 3: this in business and you just.
25:09
Speaker 2: Look at patterns.
25:10
Speaker 3: And if the person can show me an established pattern
25:13
Speaker 3: of working with people that need care, then that's how
25:21
Speaker 3: they make it through. And the only way to show
25:24
Speaker 3: that pattern is can I talk to these families you've
25:27
Speaker 3: worked with? Can you show me some references? And a
25:31
Speaker 3: lot of them have the little old reference letters, you know,
25:33
Speaker 3: typed up from years ago.
25:35
Speaker 2: And then just talking to them and.
25:37
Speaker 3: Getting a feel for how they answer questions, how they
25:40
Speaker 3: handle different scenarios in the house.
25:43
Speaker 1: Such as what?
25:45
Speaker 3: Oh, so just technical stuff.
25:48
Speaker 2: Not even the technical stuff like how to give a shower.
25:50
Speaker 2: I can YouTube that.
25:52
Speaker 1: But yeah.
25:54
Speaker 3: I will ask them, well, how do you handle it
25:56
Speaker 3: when somebody refuses to take their medicine?
26:01
Speaker 2: Or somebody's refusing to get.
26:03
Speaker 3: Dressed for their doctor's appointment. And I just listen to
26:07
Speaker 3: their answer.
26:11
Speaker 1: How do you handle that?
26:13
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
26:14
Speaker 1: If someone doesn't want to take their medicine, how do you?
26:17
Speaker 1: And maybe it's not. what they do, but just how
26:24
Speaker 1: they go about doing that. But go ahead. What are
26:26
Speaker 1: you looking for in a response like that?
26:29
Speaker 3: Usually the basic ways to deal with people not taking
26:33
Speaker 3: their medicine is just a redirection. So you ask them
26:38
Speaker 3: in repetition, and then you come back in five minutes
26:41
Speaker 3: and ask them again. And then you come back in
26:44
Speaker 3: 10 minutes and ask them again. And so you usually
26:47
Speaker 3: repeat this pattern. And if, if they don't budge after
26:50
Speaker 3: 20 or 30 minutes, then we, you know, we try
26:52
Speaker 3: to switch gears and okay, well, we're going to, we're going.
26:56
Speaker 2: To go sit and have a cup of coffee.
26:58
Speaker 3: And then when you're sitting and then maybe they're less dysregulated,
27:02
Speaker 3: you can say, you know, it's really time to take
27:03
Speaker 3: your medicine. So it's just a matter of allowing them
27:06
Speaker 3: to get out of that dysregulated state. And everybody's different.
27:10
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's repetition. Sometimes it's let's go on a walk.
27:13
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's, turn on your TV show and we'll try
27:15
Speaker 3: again in an hour. So it's just all down to,
27:19
Speaker 3: they're obviously dysregulated because they're not making a good choice
27:22
Speaker 3: by not taking their medicine. So allowing them the space
27:24
Speaker 3: to get out of that or assisting them in co-regulation.
27:28
Speaker 1: One of the things that I really liked about what
27:31
Speaker 1: you said was that, you know, you get, what, 40
27:35
Speaker 1: calls a week or whatever automatically because people can't check
27:40
Speaker 1: that one box about consistency or... 98% of those people
27:45
Speaker 1: are disqualified. You know, that to me, if I was
27:49
Speaker 1: looking for care, I mean, that would be a great
27:54
Speaker 1: incentive for me to, to, to, you know, seek out
27:57
Speaker 1: what you guys are doing. Um, all right. So wrapping
28:00
Speaker 1: this up here, um, who should, who comes to you? Who,
28:06
Speaker 1: who do you work with more specifically? Okay.
28:10
Speaker 2: Yes.
28:10
Speaker 3: I work with adult children of aging parents. So those
28:14
Speaker 3: are the people that are calling me.
28:16
Speaker 1: Okay. Adult children of aging parents. And how do you
28:20
Speaker 1: work with them? What's the process? They come to you,
28:22
Speaker 1: they call you. What do they do? What's the process?
28:25
Speaker 2: Typically, they're calling me or somebody refers them.
28:28
Speaker 3: Hey, call my friend. He's struggling with his mom. But typically,
28:32
Speaker 3: they're calling me first.
28:34
Speaker 1: Okay.
28:35
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're calling me first because mom got a diagnosis
28:37
Speaker 3: or mom had a fall or dad, uh, you know,
28:40
Speaker 3: had a car accident or some, there's like a pin,
28:42
Speaker 3: there's a tipping point in their parents' lives and.
28:45
Speaker 2: They call me.
28:46
Speaker 1: And you provide caregivers to go in a certain number
28:49
Speaker 1: of days every day.
28:52
Speaker 3: We are, uh, this is a private pay service, uh,
28:57
Speaker 3: like all home care agent place it's private pay.
29:00
Speaker 2: Uh, so they, they've, They call the shots.
29:03
Speaker 3: So we'll develop a care plan and a schedule that
29:06
Speaker 3: works for them, that meets their financial constraints, but also
29:10
Speaker 3: keeps their family members safe.
29:12
Speaker 2: So it's all personalized.
29:14
Speaker 1: Okay. All right, Megan. How do people learn more about
29:17
Speaker 1: you and Granny Nannies? What's the best way?
29:20
Speaker 3: The best way is to call Granny Nannies of South Florida.
29:23
Speaker 3: And that phone number is 305-591-1818.
29:25
Speaker 1: Okay.
29:25
Speaker 2: And we'll have that.
29:31
Speaker 1: Listed here at the show notes page at the traumatherapistpodcast.com.
29:35
Speaker 1: That's rannynannies.com in Miami. Megan, thank you for being here.
29:42
Speaker 1: And again, appreciate you sharing your journey, your story. It matters.
29:48
Speaker 2: Yes, it was a pleasure. Thank you so much for
29:51
Speaker 2: having me.
29:52
Speaker 1: All right. Take care.
29:53
Speaker 2: Bye.