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How to Find Your Agency When Life Feels Out of Your Control · The Inspired Speaker Network

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  Your travels have brought you to the Surfing
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  Your Edge podcast, where we explore what it
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  takes to create the bigger, bolder, badass life
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  you know you were born for.
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  Not a life that simply looks good on
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  paper, and not another spin on the self
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  -help hamster wheel.
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  If you're ready for more joy, more peace,
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  and more contribution, you're in the right place.
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  I'm Kristine Goad, the Surfing Your Edge coach.
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  Let's get surfing!
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  Agency isn't pretending you have unlimited choices.
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  It's recognizing that you probably have more options
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  than you can see right now, and getting
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  curious about what they might be.
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  I'm Kristine, and I am the Surfing Your
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  Edge coach, and I am all about agency.
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  The reason I'm here is to help people
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  live the bigger, bolder, badass lives they know
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  they were born for, and in order to
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  do that, we have to learn to step
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  into our agency, which probably also means we
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  have to learn to find opportunities that may
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  not come to the surface immediately, right?
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  And then, here's the sneaky part, I don't
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  know if I've said this already in the
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  podcast or not, it might be a big
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  reveal, the sneaky part of agency for me
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  is that once you start living that bigger,
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  bolder, badass life you know you were born
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  for, I'm hoping you will also use your
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  agency to leave a legacy and to start
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  stepping into the world in a bigger way
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  and really thinking about how you can make
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  the world a better place.
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  You may not have any clue how you're
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  going to do it now, and that's totally
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  fine, but I think it's completely possible.
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  So this episode is for you if you
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  are looking at the current economic and political
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  climate and thinking, now is not a great
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  time to stick your head up and start
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  going for that big dream.
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  If you're thinking that now is a better
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  time to wait it out and see what
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  happens, I hear you, but this episode is
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  going to hopefully shake you loose from that
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  a little bit.
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  It's also for you if you're thinking about
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  changing careers, if you're a new empty nester
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  and trying to figure out what life looks
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  like from this vantage point, if you're considering
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  retirement or if retirement is looming and you
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  know you're not ready for the rocking chair
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  and the remote and you know there's more
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  for you to experience and enjoy and contribute
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  to the world, then this is a conversation
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  I want to have with you.
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  So let's get started.
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  We're going to talk today about how to
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  find your agency, step into your agency, use
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  your agency, and I can't wait.
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  Okay, so if you're feeling constrained and you
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  don't know what options are available to you
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  or you're feeling there are no options available
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  to you, right?
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  I would love it if you would start
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  by noticing where you're treating things as if
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  they're inevitable.
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  Where are you hearing yourself say, this is
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  just how my job is, this is just
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  how life is.
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  I'm too old to start over, my partner
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  would never go for that, I can't afford
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  it, I don't have enough time, the world
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  is such a mess, what difference could I
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  possibly make, right?
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  If you're hearing yourself say any of those
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  things, chances are you're giving away your agency.
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  Some of those constraints are absolutely real, but
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  the constraint and the conclusion we draw from
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  it are not always the same thing.
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  This could be your opportunity to really begin
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  to understand that agency is not having unlimited
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  choices.
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  It's about getting curious about the choices you
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  actually do have, right?
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  That is the very first thing we said
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  at the top of this podcast and I
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  want to say it again.
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  Curiosity is the skill that helps you unlock
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  your agency.
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  So a useful question to ask yourself now
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  might be, what have I decided is fixed
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  that might actually not be fixed, right?
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  What could change and what is not really
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  as it seems?
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  The second thing I'd like you to consider
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  is that agency is not control, it's choosing
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  your move.
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  A lot of times we think because we
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  don't get to decide all of the factors
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  of a situation that that means we have
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  no ability to move and usually that is
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  not the case, right?
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  Agency lives in the space of given what
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  is true right now, what do I want
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  to do next?
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  And the point I should make here is
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  that you don't have to know all of
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  the steps.
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  You just have to see one little opening,
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  right?
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  There probably are several, but if you notice
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  one and you act on that one opening,
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  once you get through that door, chances are
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  another opportunity will open to you as well.
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  So you don't have to see the whole
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  path from here to there in order to
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  take that first move.
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  You can just step into it now and
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  trust that the next step will appear.
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  So the true skill here is to learn
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  to read what's happening, to make choices, to
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  adjust based on what happens when you make
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  that first move and respond, right?
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  To respond to what comes up.
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  So it may feel like you're in a
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  box, but I would imagine there's probably a
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  way out and maybe you haven't seen it
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  yet.
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  The third thing I'd like you to consider
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  is that agency grows when you use it.
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  We don't usually reclaim agency by making one
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  enormous life-changing decision.
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  We reclaim it through small acts that remind
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  us we can affect what happens next, right?
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  You can send the email, you can ask
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  the question, you can say no, you can
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  apply for the job or the opportunity, you
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  can try the class, you can make an
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  appointment, you can write the first page or
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  the first paragraph, right?
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  You can tell someone what you want.
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  You can take one meaningful step towards something
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  you care about.
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  So again, we come back to the fact
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  that it takes just one step.
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  And when you get used to taking that
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  one step and looking around and seeing what
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  else is available, it's easier to take the
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  next step.
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  Every time you take an action that says,
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  I have some say in what happens next,
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  you strengthen your sense of agency.
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  And this is where the sneaky part comes
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  in, because agency isn't only about creating the
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  life you want, it's also about how you
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  participate in creating the world you want to
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  live in.
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  We don't have to solve everything.
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  We can choose something we care about and
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  make our move.
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  So you may have heard me say this
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  already, but I really believe that we are
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  on this planet to become the fullest expression
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  of ourselves, right?
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  And that means learning to find your agency,
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  learning to see opportunities, learning to have the
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  courage to step into them and getting closer
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  and closer to living that life you know
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  you were born for.
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  And as you get better at making the
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  right choices in your life, you're going to
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  impact the people around you.
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  They're going to benefit from the choices you're
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  making.
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  They're also going to be inspired by the
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  choices you're making.
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  And you'll also feel inspired, I hope, to
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  start making choices that make the world a
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  better place, that leave the legacy you might
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  really want to leave.
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  And you may, again, have no clue what
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  that looks like, what that might feel like,
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  but it's out there for you.
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  And if you're curious and you're courageous and
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  you're willing to take one step at a
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  time, you really can lean into leaving the
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  legacy that you are meant to leave.
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  I know it can be a challenge to
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  know where to look to find opportunities and
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  find the courage to step into your own
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  agency, especially if you've had voices in your
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  head or in the world or both telling
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  you for a very long time that this
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  is the box you belong in, this is
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  the lane you belong in, don't rock the
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  boat, right?
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  The rest of us all agree that this
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  is how the world works.
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  You need to get on board.
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  If those are the kinds of voices you're
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  hearing, it can be a real challenge to
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  find your own agency on your own.
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  And sometimes you need someone else to step
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  in, right?
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  There's the saying you can't read the label
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  on your own bottle.
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  So in that case, you might need a
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  friend or a coach or me.
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  I host regular possibility parties, and I will
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  leave information about how to get in touch
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  with me about that in the show notes.
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  So what we've talked about so far today
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  is that step number one is notice where
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  you have surrendered your choice, right?
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  Where might there be opportunities that you're not
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  looking for because you assume something is true?
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  Two, distinguish control from agency.
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  You can't always control all of the situation,
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  but you can make choices about where and
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  how you move.
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  And third, practice agency through small, regular, meaningful
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  action.
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  The more agency you step into, the more
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  agency becomes available for you.
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  And the better your life gets, the better
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  the life of everyone around you gets, and
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  the more you're able to contribute to making
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  the world the kind of world you want
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  to live in.
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  So final questions for you.
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  What have I been treating as inevitable?
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  Where might there be an option I haven't
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  seen yet?
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  And what could happen if I got curious
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  enough to look for it?
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  What I really want you to remember about
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  today's conversation is that you probably have more
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  agency, more possibility than you're aware of.
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  And I hope you take a few moments
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  today, tomorrow, next week, to keep considering where
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  those options are and where they might take
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  you.