Latest / Drama, Darling: A Real Housewives Comedy Podcast / Darling, Bish Hour: RHOP, Southern Charm and Psychology of Olympians

Transcript

Darling, Bish Hour: RHOP, Southern Charm and Psychology of Olympians · Drama, Darling: A Real Housewives Comedy Podcast

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Drama, Darling Drama, Darling.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Drama, Darling. Hi, friends, and welcome to another Darling Bish
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Hour with you Girl, Melissa Reik.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: And Damie Phillips Drama Darling.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Hey, Hi baby, how are you? How are you? How
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: are you?
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: How you doing? I'm doing great. Can't wait to get
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: our bish therapist session going. I think you're covered by
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: my insurance, so I'll give you my pope afterwards. I
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: have a lot to get off of my chest when
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: it comes to the topics that we're discussing in our
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Bravo world, and also we're going to be talking about
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: a little We're going to dip into the Olympics, a
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: little bit of the Olympic wish if you will.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, I love that.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Today we're going to talk a little bit about at
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: the Potomac Reunion, because Amy and I both have a
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: lot of thoughts about that. We are also going to
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: be talking about Craig Conover because I have not experienced
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: trolling like I have until I've been posting about Craig,
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: and I just I feel like this needs to be
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: talked about.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: That says a lot, because I know you've had some lot.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Of a lot, a lot, a lot of really to
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: your point, Amy, for this, for me to notice the
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: level of this that does say a lot. It does.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Wow. Who knew it would be, Craig.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Who know? Well, you know there's a lot of that
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: going around, supporting crappy behavior. So listen, we're gonna mention
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: it all, mention it all, and then at the end,
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: that is when we're going to talk about you know,
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: you and I have we got really into the Olympics,
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: and I'm going to talk about the twelve core psychological
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: characteristics shared by Olympic champions.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: There have been s I cover at least seven of those.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: You'll probably notice that as she's going through them that
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: I all and relate with, Oh, I'm kidding. Oh my god, Melissa,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: there's no way and I'm totally joking, but wow, thanks
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: for jumping on board with that with my joke.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: No, I know you're not joking. But so here's the thing.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: We're recording this on International Women's Day, and I is
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: it is. So we're recording this on three to eight,
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: which is Sunday, which today is International Women's Day.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Happy International Women's Day. Yes to the.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Woman who literally made my life possible. Amy Phillips, well,
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: this was a happy accident. I mean literally happy accent.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: You've made my life possible here in.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: This podcast world.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I mean you were going to get there.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: You were going to get there with me or without me.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Glad I'm out long for the journey. But yeah, this
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: is cool that we're here together on a yes, International
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Women's Day.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: And in all sincerity, while you were joking, I think
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: you might be surprised that when we read off like
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: the core characteristics, I think that you don't have to
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: be an Olympian to possess these, and I think that
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: it's they're just like good ways to manage life. And
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: so yeah, people listening to might be surprised, like, oh,
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: I'm kind of doing this. And so today is an
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: episode to uplift uplift women, And well, I guess starting
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: with Karen, Well, we're not going to quite uplift uplift
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Karen Huger.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: But Women's Day, did you guys see Karen?
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: No, But in all seriousness, I will preface what we're
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: about to talk about with the fact that you know
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: that old Tyra Banks meme we were all rooting for you,
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: you know, which now takes takes different meaning considering what
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: we've learned about Tyra and some of her Tieranny.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: What's old is now new again, right right?
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Like, but I think with Karen, it's like we want
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: to see her win. I want to see Karen win,
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: but I don't want to hear a bag of bullshit
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: as she's trying to parade around like she's winning. That's
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: my trouble, right, yeah, that's the problem. And we always
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: want to see Housewives and Bravo Leberties win always, you know,
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: clearly when we started tuning in at the beginning. I
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: can only speak for myself, but you know, watching them
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: lose over and over again is also part of the
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: journey and the entertainment of it all that a lot
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: of them are a hot mess. But now as you
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: take a journey with them, and you've been on the
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: journey for so long, you are left with like, please.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Get it together. We it's not fun anymore. We want
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: you to succeed and you know, be healthy. And that's
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: what's tough about it. You know, it's like we that's
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: the irony, at least for me, and where I struggle,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: it's like, great, I'm just going to watch these people
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: drink and do all these crazy things on reality television
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: and just laugh all the way to my wig closet,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: you know, and then go do parodies. But then years later,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: you know, we're looking at rehab, we're looking at prison,
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: we're looking at all these things, and we're going and
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I'm going, but my wigs, you know, I can't use
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: them anymore.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: It's just bad, I know. And here's the thing. Even
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: though you're hilarious and part of you you're joking partly,
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: but it is like so hard to have these parasocial
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: relationships where we watch these shows for years we genuinely
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: want to see people win, but then it's like we
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: also don't want to support bad behavior. And I think,
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: oh my gosh, it really is. And so I think
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: we didn't even plan to talk about this, but I
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: think it's a good intro into the discussion because I
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: don't want to be angry with Karen Huger or Craig
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Hunover for the things that they're doing. But I think
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: for me, it's my responsibility when I see this behavior
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: to say, here's what I'm seeing and here's why we
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: should be concerned. Because for me, like as a helper,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: holding people accountable is part of being a helper, like
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: we can't just support really dangerous behavior. And I think
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: to your point, that's kind of what we're seeing. It
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: was like well on Southern Charm or like on Real
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Housewives of Potomac, like Craig or Karen being drunk might
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: have been funny at one point, but it's like it's
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: not funny anymore because addiction isn't. It's like sad now.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: It's really it's hard to watch and it's hard for
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: other people to experience in their orbit. So for those
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: listening to this, you know, Amy and I struggle with it,
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: just I think as so many people do. Like I've
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: had people come into my comments on Instagram saying, you know,
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: I want to ethically watch these shows, but it's like
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: not as entertaining anymore because when it turns so dark,
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: it's not you know, it's like with a Valley last season,
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: it was like almost so dark that it was hard
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: to watch. Which, by the way, that's coming back in April.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, so many shows coming back.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: It's a there's a flood, as a flood upon us,
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: so everybody bat down the hatches, get your supplies, you
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like, go to Costco, go to
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Sam's Club, do what you have to do. Buy water. Okay,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: we're gonna need to hydrate. We have so much to
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: talk about. There's gonna be very little time. You're gonna
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: feel stressed, but we need to keep pushing forward. Okay, Kerrien, please.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: I know I'm not and listen. My birthday is in
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: April and normally I take some time off, but I'm like,
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: I cannot take any time off there. There's gonna be.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Two can I'm sorry, happy birthday, but no, thank you. Okay,
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: happy birthday, but keep on working. You get to work.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Get a wick. This is your job. You get a wick.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: That's right, that's right. What can we say? All right,
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: so let's start out with Karen at the reunion. I
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: think the reunion for me was a little confusing, just
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: because there was a lot of Stacy and Monique, and
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: then Monique made accusations, but then she's walked them back
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: on social media, and I'm still not sure what the
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: heck is going on there?
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Did you see that, Amy, No, she walked back accusations
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: about Stacy.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Whatever. The video at the reunion that Monique played
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: was allegedly her daughter talking about Stacy and their dad, Chris,
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: like having a conversation. Right, it was allegedly from her daughter,
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: but what so what Monique posted on social media is
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: that after doing some digging in some exploration, she actually
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: thinks Stacy didn't do anything. And I'm like, wow, well
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: then I just don't know what to make of it all.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: So I just wanted to say that because that was
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: one thing that I caught and I was like, I
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: don't I don't understand this, but I guess to be continued.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize it was her daughter in the video.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Well that's what I saw, like allegedly allegedly from yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: So that's just like, that's nuts. I'm sorry, don't bring
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: a video of your daughter, Like now you're bringing your
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: daughter into it. And then Stacy, if she is innocent
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: of this, then Stacy handled it very well by not
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: speaking to it at all, because a lot of people
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: could have like completely went nuts about like and anything.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Her tongue had to have been tied because she can't
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: say anything because it's a child. That's really tough. If
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: that's what it If that's what it was, that's really
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: hard to wrap my head around.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Right and listen. If I am wrong, that is the
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: latest information that I've gotten online. If I am wrong,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: please let me know. But you know, so that whole
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: thing's just messy, and for that reason, I'm like, I
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: just wanted to mention it. But so prior to Karen
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: arriving on set, what I noticed is the group where
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: like especially Giselle, was talking about Andy's interview with her
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: and Jizell thanked Andy for holding Karen accountable because she
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: quote unquote needed it. And what I can appreciate, and
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: here's the theme, by the way, that I'm following when
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: it comes to Karen and Craig, okay, is that I
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: made the point on social media that we don't know
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: these people, right. We don't know them personally. I'm not
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: their therapist. We watch them on TV like everybody else.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: So what we have to do is take the cueue
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: of the group of the people around the people that
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: we're talking about to inform us of should we be concerned? Right, Like,
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: it's not like we're talking about Karen and Craig and
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: the rest of the group is not concerned. The groups
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: around these human beings are concerned.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: We've also had time with them. We've also had time
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: witnessing dynamics over years, and we've had little easter eggs
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: dropped a long time ago about certain things, then more
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: and more and more. So it's not like another cast
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: member is trying a smear campaign on another cast member
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: for one season or several seasons. It's more of a
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: collective understanding that now everybody gets and now so then
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: when you hear the masses speak on it, you have
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: to believe, you know what, Perhaps the people are saying.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Right, the people who are experience experiencing this, who know Karen,
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: who know Craig, the people in their orbit, they're castmate,
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: So those are the people's lead who we need to follow.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: And so I say that at the beginning because it's
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: not like we're sitting here saying, wow, this is really bad,
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: but everyone else is like, no, it's not like we're
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: not making things up. Because I'm going to be honest,
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: I feel very gas lit by social media right now.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: My head is spinning a little bit because I always
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: like to think about, well, I understand, I'm not like
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: I know that, I don't know these people. I'm not
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: always right, but bad behavior is bad behavior, and you know,
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: we live in a world where people don't want that
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: called out, which is a much deeper rooted issue. But nevertheless,
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: so Andy, the first thing that happens Karen comes out.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: I kind of outlined a couple of major bullet points
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: is that Andy asked Karen about claims that she was
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: shedding her grand dom title.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Do you remember the saving Yeah, shedding?
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, whether she was skin right, like a like a
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: I don't know, like a snake, just shutting your skin.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: But Karen said, and I quote, I tried to shut it.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: It's not working. I give the people what they want.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Whoof And my goodness, did that set the tone for
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: the rest of her part?
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm just kind of resonating in that right now.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: That was such a classic Huger answer too, you know.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: And how long did she try to give it a rest?
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: You know, like what point.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: When she was in jail maybe and out of the
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: public eye. I mean even and Amy, guess what I
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: guarantee up in the jailhouse, Karen had some of those
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: ladies calling her grund dam.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: I would guarantee it, and as they should, you know,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: I mean, look, she got in there, she's been nicknamed
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: by Potomac and the and the United States of America
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: and beyond. So why not embrace a nickname in prison?
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: I can't think of a better place to have a nickname.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Or there is another nickname that we don't know about
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: rights because I didn't quite one is worse. So I'm
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: gonna stick with bron dam you know right.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: I just feel like I just fee such a red
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: flag though, because it's like, you know, for me, one
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: of the things that we're going to be we're talking
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: about today is addiction. And when it comes to addiction,
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: I understand it very well. Number one and number two,
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: the most alarming part of what we see with Karen
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: is just the lack of humility people coming out of
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: on the other side of a real recovery journey. You
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: will see things in their behavior. They are humble. Their ego,
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: they put it to the side, They accept that they
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of things that they don't know. They
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: will come in with a humility about things that what
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: Karen's showing us is the opposite of that, which is
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: like a real concern. And so one of the things
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: was that Giselle was taught to Andy or they were
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: talking before Karen came out and they were like, it
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: really seems like she's taking accountability. And here's the thing.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: So for people who don't have a clinical eye, really
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: on the surface, it might seem like she's saying the
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: right words, but then if you really examine, the words
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: are a lot of kind of like what I call
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: word salad, which is just a nonsense way for Karen
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: to justify the things that she's doing, but make you
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: think that she's taking accountability.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, which is does not the move. Now let me
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: ask you this. So this is why I have a
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: problem with her being on the reunion for one, yes,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: and maybe even doing that interview with Andy, I don't
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: even think she should have done. Certainly as a viewer,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: as a fan and like get an interview, let's go.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: But as somebody who would be concerned about another person,
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: I would say absolutely not, don't do that because she's
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: not ready. She's not to the point, you know, know
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: where she's actually been able to be fully honest with
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: where she is. So my question for you is is
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: it too soon? Like some people don't quickly get turned
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: around and discover that humility and work the steps and
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: get to a place of full You know, I'm going
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: to start recovery and I have acknowledged everything and I'm
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: ready to go. But she hasn't gotten there obviously, So
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: now where do where does that leave her? I mean,
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: she is a statistic I mean not everybody who goes
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: to rehab, which I don't even know how long she
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: was in rehab because then she went to prison, So
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: like did she even have an opportunity to completely heal
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: or work on herself? You know, It's like she was
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: shuttled off and so now she has to speak on
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: where she is, but like she hasn't even had time
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: to even get to where she needs to be. So
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: like that that's where I'm going. We shouldn't because now
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: she's going to get lambasted by all of us, because
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: it's like you are saying that you are an ad
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: but you're actually not gonna say that you're an alcoholic. Okay,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: that makes zero sense. You're gonna come in and say
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: I'm the grandam, Okay, that makes it. None of this
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: clocks out. But then if you look at the timeline,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: it's like she hasn't even gotten to a place where
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: she's had the time to maybe even been be honest
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: and actually get sober. That's where I'm like so conflicted,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: like do not, please, don't bring her on the reunion.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: She just got out of prison and she needs to
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: go to rehab, like she put her back into rehab,
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Like how long was she in rehab? For? One month?
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Well that and that's a really good point because the
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: timing and I'm not sure of it, but it looked
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: like the timing was Karen went to rehab before her
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: sentencing for an undetermined period of time. In terms of
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: like that timeline, it couldn't have been that long of
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: a time between when it happened and then when she
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: went to jail. And so here's the thing they say.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: You know, when it comes to addiction, if your addiction
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: is left unchecked, there is you know, institutions or death.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: Like that's it. That's what in the program, that is
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: what they talk about. If you do not get your
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: addiction under control, it's like jail, other institutions or death
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: those are the only options. And so for me to
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: reiterate this is why I take it really seriously because
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: when you work with people with addiction, when you see
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: people die from this disease, it's not cute. It's not funny.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Addiction is a terrible disease that deserves empathy, but it
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: also deserves to be called out. And the way that
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: this has to work is that people in recovery need
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: to be open to feedback from trusted sources, from people
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: who have time and recovery and all that other stuff.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: Here's what I would wonder. I would wonder what people
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: in the programs that she's attending, if she's still attending them,
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: because I know that she did in jail, and I
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: don't know if that's part of her probation or parole
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: like whatever she's on. Sometimes that is there are mandated
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: things that people need to do in terms of like
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: continuing twelve step meetings. I don't know what are her mandates,
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: but I think that the point that we're making is
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: that we want to see Karen do better, and it's
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: to answer that question. It is common for people who
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: like to your point, when they're ushered right from addiction
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: to treatment to jail and then they come out. I
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: don't think she's had time to really process. I think
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: she's trying to present an image that she wants to
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: present before the image has caught up you know what
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: I mean, she's trying to present that thing before she's
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: authentically taken that in and let that settle in with her.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: If that makes sense, That's how I see it totally,
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: It completely makes sense. I mean, you couldn't have said
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: it better. And that's you know, the beast that has
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: been created. Not only is it obviously part of her
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: personality and who she is, but then she has this
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: juggernaut of reality television and a namesake or an alter
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: ego that she has to live up to, while meanwhile,
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: all this stuff is going on behind closed doors and
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: here she has to now sit down and have a
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: one on one now. So for me, when I was
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: watching that definitely was like, wow, she really you know,
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: she's floating above, you know, she's she's flying above. She flies,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: she flies above, she flies above.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Oh flies that's right.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the same idea, yeah, exactly. So she was
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: doing that, and yet at the same time she was
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: kind of trying to touch down in the middle. She'd
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: swoop down and be like, oh no, no, no, I'm
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: I am a full you know, addict. Yeah, and then
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: she'd go back up and it would be very like surface.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: So the problem is It's like, as I'm talking through this,
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: I don't have that much of an issue with having
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: that interview with her after prison. Okay, so I'm actually
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: kind of glad about that. My biggest problem is reunion.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: I do not think she should have gone to the reunion,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: and I don't think we should hear for her for
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: another year because that's where, you know, she didn't have
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: a chance to really do the treatment and so now
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: and so she couldn't really speak. I don't know what
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: I expect of her, except for I wish she would
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: have hit rock bottom a decade ago when she's had
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: all these alcohol related incidents, says, incidents where she got
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: you know, tickets and you know, jail time or you know,
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: when she was written up, and so it's kind of like,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: where were you before? Why is it taking this long?
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: And now you've built up so much.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: So and that's that's a scary thing. To your point,
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: there's two points I want to make. Care is that
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: for some people, some people don't hit a bottom like
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: I have treated people in inpatient rehabilitation centers that literally
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: continue to almost die due to the things that they're doing.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: Like there's what would be a bottom for you.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Or me, For you have to hit a bottom.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: Well, some people do, but some people it's not so
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: much a bottom as it is consequences. Like humans respond
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: to everything differently, Some people respond more to consequences, like
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: legal consequences, than they seeing something in their life and saying, oh,
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: this is a bottom for me. Sometimes when people are
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: too sick, they can't see that bottom, they can't feel
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: that bottom. It's like, so that is one of the
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: things that we see, number one, But number two, an
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: important point that I want to make is that what
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: we're seeing with Karen, make no doubt about it, is
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: still denial and minimization. However, it is very normal and
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: very common. Recovery is not linear. It is a process
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: that is up and down and circular and cyclical, and
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: it's just all over the place.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: You'd think that going to prison would be the bottom,
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: but what you're saying is it doesn't necessarily mean that
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: that was her bottom, and she may not ever get
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: to a bottom. But then what would be the thing
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: that would wake her up? If not prison?
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: I think not being on the show. If I'm going
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: to be honest, I think for Karen, her real bottom
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: wouldn't come until Bravo said, put her on a Durnda
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: pause and we can Hell, they're already not going to
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: do that because she came back for the reunion. I
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: think that is what Karen really cares about. And if
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: she didn't have that, then she might rethink some of
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: her behaviors.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: Wow, but she would she be doing she beginning well
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: for the wrong reason so that she could come back to.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: The sure sure, because that's the other thing, is the
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: one thing I can promise you is that whether it's
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: the risk of going to jail, like sometimes people come
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: into treatment and if they relapse, they go to jail.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: They don't care. If they relapse, they you know this,
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: they get kicked out. Whatever happens, it doesn't matter. The
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: only way that true change happens is because we want it.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: That is literally the only real thing that any human
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: needs to change is to really authentically in here want it.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: It can't be about the network for her, it can't
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: be about her fans, it can't be about anything other
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: than Karen Huger. And that's my concern. To me, It's
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: about everything other than Karen right now, and that's what's
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: bothering me a little bit. But to her, some of
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: this denial of minimization is normal. It's just most of
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: people when they're in that early recovery process, they don't
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: have a camera pointed at them, but if they did,
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: this is what you would see. And it's very rare
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: for someone to go to treatment one time and never
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: have issues again. There's a saying in recovery that relapses
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: a part of recovery, and what that means is that
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: you know this process, Like I said, it's not linear.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: So there are people who in the program of recovery,
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: they can have ten years, twelve years, thirty or sober,
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: whatever it is. But they'll say, well, whoever woke up
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: today earliest, you have the most time, because it's all
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: we have is today. All we have is the here
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: and now, the present today, and our authentic selves. And
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: so I guess what I'm saying is that while some
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: of it's normal, I feel so important to talk about
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: it because it's very triggering for people who are seeing
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: this and are like, well, wait, this doesn't seem right,
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: and I'm just here to validate that it's not quite right.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: She needs a little bit more time.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: I'm actually really impressed with the amount of people who
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: have an issue with everything that she said, and in
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: the interview with Andy, you know, because it just goes
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: to show as a society, we're pretty savvy to like
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: our bullshit meters are pretty tuned up.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: Well they are until it comes to Craig Conover, which
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: we'll get to him in another minute. But I do
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: also think that's an interesting thing to note, is that
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: people are hard on women, women of color. I think
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: society is really hard on and pretty privilege is a
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: very real thing. And so we'll talk about that in
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: a minute with Craig. Karen said that on her sobriety journey,
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: she said, quote unquote, I'm in recovery for life on
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: all levels. Okay, so here's my problem with that. Yeah,
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: no person in real recovery would say that I'm in
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: recovery forever, because the literal point of the twelve step
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: program is to say, one day at a time, for today,
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: we can be sober, but we don't know what tomorrow brings.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: And some people that's how they stay sober. They stay
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: sober literally one day at a time, and they say
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: to themselves, well, if I want to drink, I can
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: drink tomorrow. But for today, I'm going to be sober,
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: and then that's how they get through it. And so
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: it's so hard, and so I also do want to
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: validate that for people who are really doing the work,
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: it takes blood, sweat and tears, and I hope that
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: Karen is able to do it. But like to say,
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: I'm in recovery for life on all levels is not.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: She's avoiding things and she's distracting. And here's what she's
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: distracting from. Andy said, quote, you were not completely comfortable
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: calling yourself an alcoholic when he did the interview. Karen said, no,
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I'm still not. That's a personal choice. Andy said, isn't
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: part of being an addict owning that? Which great question,
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: because yes it is. Karen said, I'm owning everything about it.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: But there's also a choice you make which empowers you,
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: which is word salid for nonsense.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: So what do you think be behind that? To me,
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: it sounds like she's still drinking.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Well, if she's not, this attitude, will that will.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Be the result, Okay, because it sounds like she was
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: doing alcohol and pills allegedly. Okay, Well, she's saying, you know,
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: like anxiety medicine, you know, she's basically saying, like antidepressants
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: is what causes, which we talked about, which we you know,
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: you and I both had a real problem with. It's
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: just very reckless. So whatever it is that she was taking,
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: it sounds like maybe she stopped that, but is continuing
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: to drink.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: I also think that is this a tactic so that
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: she can go back on Potomac and drink with the ladies.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: That's you know, that's the concern. And someone like Karen,
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you that if she continues to drink,
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: she's going to die. Something bad is going to happen.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you that right now. And so
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: what is frustrating is that, again, in recovery, a drug
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: is a drug. Is a drug is a drug. It
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: doesn't matter if it's alcohol, it doesn't matter if it pills,
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: if it's pills, whatever, it is a drugrug is a drug.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: And anyone in recovery will tell you that. To try
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: to say, oh, well, this drug doesn't matter, but this
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: drug does, that's denial.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: I mean that is plain yes, old, there's nine levels.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: It's not it's ray area.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Because if she was an alcoholic twenty years ago,
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: when she was day drinking at Legal Seafood. She still
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: I mean that doesn't just spontaneously improve.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: Well, when she she cops to like cops to like, yeah,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: she know, Ashley got me on that one. That's absolutely
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: So she's doing the thing like a politician would do.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: You know, yes, where they're racing, and it's like she
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: has gotten coaching or you know, I'm sure being as
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: public as she is, even just on a personal level
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: before she was even on the show, Like she has
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: gotten away with so much over the years, just even
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: living in Potomac society. So the way that she handles
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: this stuff is very much like a politician. So she'll
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: be like, yeah, that's true. True. Oh yeah, So by
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: owning something one hundred and twenty percent doesn't mean that
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: you can own something else twenty percent. It just doesn't
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: work that way.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: It's very confusing, right, And her behaviors and her words
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: give her away, like she's saying that she's owning something
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: but she's not. It's her way to differentiate in her mind. Well,
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: if I drink, that's a me decision. But if I
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: blame the pills, that was a doctor, and that the
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: core of that thinking that is the problem that will
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: lead to continue alcohol use. Alcohol is a problem for her,
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: full stop. If she's not willing to admit that, she's
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: going to continue to have more problems, full stop. And furthermore,
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: the last thing she said before we move on is
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: Andy asked about the backlash about her standing ovation she
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: received at bravocn. Karen said, facing your addiction is a
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: brave act, and I thought, oh god, God. So the
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: thing is that I have a lot of people in
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: recovery that listen to this podcast. I'm sure their heads
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: are exploding. It's like, yes, recovering from a disease that
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: wants to kill you is a brave act. But again,
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: someone with humility, any ounce of humility, is that's not
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: the approach that they're going to take, right, That's that's
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: they're gonna say different words, They're gonna expect different things.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: She still expects for people to do that with her,
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: and that is that is as dangerous as the drink
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: as she calls it.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah it is, and also like it is any I
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: don't even know if people like what were you supposed to?
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: I don't think they had any other choice but to
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: clap Like here, she comes out and everyone's just like, Wow,
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: she's here. So someone's like and another person like a.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: Slow yeah, they're like what do we woo?
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't even think that they wanted to
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: do it. It was an awkward position to put everybody in.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: Why are you bringing her out on stage? Right? Well?
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: And that's the thing to me, Like that whole situation
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: was bizarre. Okay, so she's at the convention, she's not
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: at the panel, but you're going to bring her out
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: to say, like, I don't know what, I'm not quite sure.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: I know think that I'm gonna be interested to see
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: what producers do with her. Will she just be back
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: on the next season? Will she replaced Giselle? Because Giselle
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: didn't even have a damn package because she doesn't talk
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: about anything. Which when I clocked that, I was like,
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: you're in danger girl.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: I never would have and I never would have clocked
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: it either, and I wouldn't have. I don't pay attention
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: to people's packages, like and honestly, I'm like fast forwarding
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: throw the We've seen the package. I care about the package.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Let's get to the shit. Let's get into the because
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: you guys cut all this stuff and you know, there's
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: probably plenty of stuff I'd like to see in place
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: of the packages anyway, like blah blah blah with the packages.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: Boom amy boom. We've already seen those.
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, I don't think I'll ever stop talking about
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: how much I love One's skin and They're OS one
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: Face Topical Supplement.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: I love it so much, you guys. I remember my
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: skin before I was using this and how dry it was.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: And also I could not find the right face lotion
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: that could balance my skin with the oiliness and the dryness.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: I just could not find the perfect one. I had
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: tried so many different ones. One Skin is the magical
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: solution for me. I don't think I'll ever use another
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: face lotion again. I really don't. Now. The other thing
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: I love to use this is kind of new is
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: I started using their one Skin Prep. That's their cleanser.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: It's vegan, it's cruelty free, it's free from fragrances, essential oil, sulfate, silicones, colorants,
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: and so much more. And that is what I am
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: obsessed about. So I've got my skin prep, I've got
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: my OS one Face Topical Supplement, and on occasion I
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: use their I cream and that's just my experience. One
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Skin's products are backed by extensive lab and clinical data,
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: including four peer reviewed clinical studies to validate their efficacy
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: and safety on it all skin types. Plus, they've got
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: over ten thousand and five star reviews and have been
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: recently featured by Bloomberg and as a leader in skin longevity.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: It really shows you don't need a complicated routine to
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: achieve healthier, younger looking skin. I mean, just look at me.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Born from over a decade of longevity research, One Skin's
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: os one peptide is proven to target the visible signs
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: of aging, helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: as you age. For a limited time, try one skin
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: with fifteen percent off using code drama at one skin
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: dot co. That's fifteen percent off at one skin dot co.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Coo with code drama. After you purchase, they'll ask you
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: where you heard about them. Please support my show and
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: tell them that I sent you. You know, if losing weight
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: is one of your twenty twenty six goals and you're
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: ready to make progress you can count on, then weight
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: loss by Hers might be the right fit for you.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Reaching your weight loss goals doesn't have to mean completely
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: changing the way you live your life. I mean, really,
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: what if you could make healthy progress with a treatment
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: plan that included medication, access to twenty four to seven support,
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: nutrition tips, and tools for tracking movement, hydration, and sleep,
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: all personalized at your pace. Oh hell, that's weight loss
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: by Hers. There's so many weight loss treatment plans out there.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: You don't know which one is the best choice. You
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: don't know who to trust, and what about the side
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: effects and what if it's going to work. That's why
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Hers offers access to doctor develop treatment plans that are
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: personalized to you. Through Hers, you're connected with a medical
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: provider who determines if treatment is right for you. If prescribed,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: your treatment plan is personalized to support you reaching your goals. Plus,
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: you can access a range of treatment options like oral
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: medication kits or GLP one injectables, complete with ongoing care
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: check ins, dosage and medication adjustments, and access to twenty
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: four to seven online support at no additional costs. There's
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: no hidden fees and no membership fees, and with options
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: starting at just sixty nine dollars per month with a
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: ten month plan. When paid upfront in full, Hers provides
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: access to options that fit your goals and your budget.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: You get one hundred percent online care with licensed providers
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: on the other side. Talk about convenient and they learn
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: your story and create a plan that's right for you.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: From weight loss support to growing thicker hair, easing anxiety
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: to navigating menopause symptoms. Even accessing convenient lab testing Hers
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: has you covered. Feel like your best self again. Visit
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: for hers dot com slash drama to get a personalized,
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: affordable plan that gets you. That's f O r h
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: e er s dot com slash drama. For Hers dot
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: com slash drama. Weight Loss by Hers is not available everywhere.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: Compounded drug products are not approved or evaluated for safety, effectiveness,
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: or quality by the FDA. Prescription required. See website for
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: full details important safety information and restrictions. Actual price depends
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: on product and plan purchased. Imagine a world where you
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: can take an edible but you don't feel too high.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: That's Loomy welcomes to the Loomy gummy world. You guys.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: You know I talk about it probably a little too
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: much on this podcast, but the point is I love
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: loomy gummies. They are consistent, they're super mellow, they're delicious,
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: and they're specifically designed to make you feel good, not stoned.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: Whether you're looking for an end of the day de
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: stresser of midday mood boost or help getting the best
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: sleep ever. Loomy Gummies has a strain that's right for you.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: There's Sativa, hybrid indica. At the end of the day.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: I enjoy sativa because it gives me an uplifting feeling.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: I feel energized and creative, and that's what I really
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: like about it, and a lot of the times on
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: the weekend I like to do a hybrid, which is
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: sativa that gets me feeling uplifted and energized and creative,
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: but chill with the indica. The sativa that I like
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: is called Durban the Kittles. I don't even know if
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: I'm saying that right, Durban Skittles. Anyway, it's spelled z
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: K I T T L e Z. It's a vibrant
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: sativa that enhands his focus and stimulates creativity to help
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: you get engaged and just get your flow going. I
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: had one at a wedding this weekend, had a great time.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: You know, sometimes I just do it. I fold laundry,
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: I clean out my drawers, I write scripts and I
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: love the sour strawberry cookies. It's a balanced hybrid that
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: lifts your mood and soothes tension while still keeping you
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: clear minded. Loomy has a lot of options. There's twelve
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: unique varieties of THHC plus CBD gummies and guess what
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: they ship nationwide. So go to loomygummies dot com. That's
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: l U m I g U M m I e
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: s dot com and use my code drama for thirty
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: percent off your order. Thirty thirty percent off your order. Again,
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: that's l U m I gummies dot com Code Drama.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: They're available nationwide, and let me know if you love
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: them too. You may have heard of Honeylove. Oh I
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: don't know from me because I love it so much.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: And you may know that Honeylove is an independent, female
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: founded brand with products designed by women who actually wear them. Okay,
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: your undergarments, we love them. We can't go anywhere without them.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: They make shapewear, and I am so obsessed with Honeylove.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: Oh how I love their shapewear. I've worn it underneath
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: so many gowns for very formal events and some cocktail
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: parties and some shows. Because It's got targeted compression sculpts
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: without squeezing, and it always stays in place. It's designed
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: to work with your body and not against it. The
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: fabric was so breathable and I never sweat in it.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: The Crossover Bra, I wear it all the time. I
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: use it all the time. It's one of the most
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: comfortable bras I've ever worn. There's no underwire, but somehow,
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: in some way, it's still lifts and supports. It doesn't dig,
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: it doesn't pinch, and it has that nice smoothing back
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: panel where everything lays flat. There's no bumps and talk
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: about the range from thirty A to forty four G.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: The Honeylove Crossover Bra flatters everybody, every shape, every size.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Now check this out. The original version features soft, flexible
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: cups that adapt to your body. But do you prefer
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: built in pads while you can try the Crossover Contour,
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: which features built in molded light foam pads for extra
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: support and a beautifully contoured shape. Now we're in the
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: new year, and now it's time to get the things
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: that you need. Honeylove is now offering a Crossover Triple
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: Bra bundle, so if you want a full refresh on
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: your top drawer. You can get huge savings by buying
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: three at once. What a deal for the crossover bra.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: Honeylove has everything you need to stock up for twenty
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: twenty six shapewear bras, a full line of tanks, bodysuits,
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: underwear with supportive structure, smoothing fabrics, and premium finishes. Treat
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: yourself to the most advanced bras and shapewear on the market.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: Use my exclusive link to save twenty percent off honeyl
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: at Honeylove dot com slash drama. That's Honeylove dot Com
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: slash drama. After check out, they'll ask you where you
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: heard about them. Please support Drama Darling, support my show
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: and tell them I sent you experience the new standard
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: and comfort and support with Honeylove.
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: So yeah, So moving on to the other Bravo problem
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: child that is Craig Conover, and what I want to
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: share with people I shared this on the last week's
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: episode is that I have not been more trolled than
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: when I post about Craig's behavior, which says a lot
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: because people love to troll me.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: And I've heard a lot of times when you've texted
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: me or we talked and you are flabbergasted with a
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: the amount of things that people that have said things,
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: and b who have who has slid into your dms
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: and said things. That's also blown my mind. So what
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: did you post that set these trolls off?
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: I'm literally I'm going to read one paragraph to explain
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: to you a little bit of how insane the Bravo
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: fandom has gone trying to support terrible behavior that doesn't
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: deserve being supported. Okay, the first line of the episode
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: of Southern Charm is Craig saying to a crying Sally,
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: we are so sad at how we get punched back.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: That was the first line of the episode. Amy first line. Wow,
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: he said, listen, these years caught that right away. He
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: slurred it. It was like the bus in the van.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: He said that.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: As he was getting out of the van, he said,
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: we are so sad at how we get punched back.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: That's literally what he said. So then, okay, here's the
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: rest of what I wrote. First, Sally, sincerely did nothing. Second,
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: you made me do. It is a dangerous and manipulative stance.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: Since we don't know these people, it's important to take
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: the lead of how the group experienced the event, and
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: it's clear that the entire group feels concerned about Craig's behaviors.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: Sally cried, which is a normal human response to being
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: verbally accosted, Charlie Shock saying it was awful. Austin said
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: Craig is insane, and Whitney said, Craig goes from Bruce
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: Banner to the Incredible Hulk.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: Accurate, very accurate, except the Incredible Hulk like saves people
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: and helps people and uses his anger for good. We're good, okay, Okay,
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: Marvel Universe, what's up?
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: Clack that Amy Clack? That okay. But so, the point
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: is that I am calling out Craig's behaviors that are
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: abusive when he's under the influence, to yell at women,
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: to verbally accost women, to tell someone they're an idiot,
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: they're a loser, all these other things. The behavior is
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: inherently problematic, and I will stand ten fucking toes down
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: on the fact that Craig's behavior is ridiculous. It needs
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: to get called out. And I don't understand why there
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: are certain people in the Bravo verse who just have
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: what seems like a free pass to do whatever it
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: is they want. To do, and there are still fans
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: that will support them. I have not had anyone other
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: than women come into my comments to say that I
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: should be ashamed of myself, I should lose my license,
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: Sally gets what she asks for, Venita is a cunt. Yeah,
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: these are some of the comments that I get, And
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: the reason why I'm sharing it is that we live
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: in a real world where there will be bad behaviors
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: right in front of our face, and then there will
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: be some insane group of people trying to pee on
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: our leg and tell us it's raining that the behaviors
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: aren't bad, and it's like.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: No, no, wow, I'm looking at your posts because I'm
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: just trying. You probably already deleted and blocked and all
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: that stuff. Sure did buy any chance go to their
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: profile to see if it's an actual person or if
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: it's a bot.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: Yes, so, because that's the other thing we had talked about.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: Some of them are definitely bots because some of them
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: didn't have a profile picture. They were like following three
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: people or had like no followers and no profile picture.
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: So some of it, for sure. I do believe now
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: in my experience that Craig's team has allegedly paid for
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: bots to like do his bidding on the internet. Because
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: also some of the comments that I got seemed like
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: the person was like personally hurt, like people telling me
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: to shut up, or people being like, you're just biased
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: against Craig. Who even cares that you're a therapist, And
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, no one has to care that I'm
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: a therapist. I'm not saying that I'm right, but what
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: I'm saying is it sounds like something that Craig himself
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: might say. So it's either bots on Craig's behalf or
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: people who I don't know inexplicably have this parasocial relationship
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: with him, where because Craig is handsome, Like, here's the thing,
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: Craig is the opposite of my type because I don't
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: suffer king babies, I don't suffer man children. I don't
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: suffer that. So I would never be attracted to him
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: in a hundred million million years. But objectively, what I'm
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: saying is like people do the pretty privilege is a
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: real thing, and so I feel like he has either
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: bots and or you know, just women who have eternalized yeah,
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: misogyny of like I'm going to go in like for
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: people to say that Sally and Venita are the problem
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: is so insane. And here's the thing I am not saying,
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: Like everyone in relationship plays a role, right, So Sally
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: plays a role, Venita plays a role. They're not perfect.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying they're always right. But when Craig is
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: being reactive from a place of being blackout drunk, he
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: is always in the wrong. That is always wrong.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: After watching Southern Charm for so long, and just I've
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: always loved Craig, I've always I love I love the cast,
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: you know, better for better or worse, you know, to
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: get to this point where we know his journey, we
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: know his relationship with Paige, we know all of this,
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: we know where he is in life currently on the
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: show as we're watching with his his heart like you know,
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: trampled on the love of his life, if that's what
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: it was, now gone, and him making the decision to
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: now just drink. And we saw this example of him
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: treating someone so horribly right in front of our face.
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: It was as plain as day. It cannot be ignored,
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: it can't be justified. So to walk away from that
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: and it to have any question about what that was
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: is really alarming if somebody can't call it for what
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: it is when he's had other situations, I can tell
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: you there's always room for justifying it for him. There's
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: more whizzle room. Yes, And I've been in that place
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: myself where I'm like, Austin is constantly baiting Craig, like,
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: why is he coming after him? Craig is just trying
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: to be When he was sober, not going out, Austin
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: had a problem with that. Now he's trying to have
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: fun and be a single guy. Now Austin has a
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: problem with that. Like I was really annoyed with Austin. Okay, Oh,
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: cut to also me thinking why is he drinking again?
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: This is horrible.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: After he's identified as an addict, by the way, which
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: is the main reason why we call this out, because
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: the man himself has said I am an addict, and
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: yet he's drinking and getting blackout drunk and verbally accosting people.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: Please continue, And now, as you said, it's one day
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: at a time, so we've now seen a relapse. Okay,
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: when he was sober, he was doing it for page,
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: you know, he was doing it for that, So it's
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: like he never really did it for Craig is what
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: it seemed to me. This is just my opinion, but like.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: You're right, and that's mame. That is why the change
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: hasn't stuck because remember what I said before, When we
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: get sober or do things for a relationship, to stay
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: out of jail, to stay out of rehab, whatever it is,
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: if we do anything other than for ourselves, that's a
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: setup for failure. It's not never going to stick. Never.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: That's so tough. How do you even okay, I know
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: that this is just going I'm just digging real deep,
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: real quick. How do you shift from just staying away
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: from doing it so that you don't have the consequences
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: to wow, deep within me, I want to be a
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: healthier person making better decisions. How do you even get
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: to that place?
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: Like what time? Practice and continued whether it be therapy
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: or participation in a twelve step program or an alcohol program,
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: something that helps keep the guardrails up. It is the
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: imperative thing to get that shift to happen is by
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: what I call acting opposite. So even if you're doing
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: it for other reasons, you continue to show up, you
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: continue to do the work, you continue to stay sober
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: and essentially that shifts too. I do this for me.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: So it's possible that in both cases Karen and Craig,
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: who are in different places, but they both have dipped
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: into some level of sobriety for not necessarily the right reasons,
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: but for relationship or not facing more dire consequences in
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: Karen's case, if they were to stay on that course,
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: whether relapse or not. If they continue doing this, even
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: if for the wrong reasons, is their hope that they
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: will eventually maybe walk the walk, live it from the
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: best part of their soul?
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I fully believe that there is hope
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: for all human beings and that all humans are capable.
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: But there are so many factors environmental, genetic, social, all
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: these constructs and factors that inform how that goes. And
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: one of the factors is the social group around you.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: What are they doing? So, for example, when it comes
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: to Craig, people are tolerating his bullshit it and with Karen,
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: they weren't going to tolerate it anymore. And do you
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: see the differences between them, Like look at where Karen
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: is versus where Craig. Because by the way, Craig was
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: never sober. He just said that he was an addict.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: He said it while holding a bottle of alcohol, like
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: on the beach, like on the beer. Yeah, so I
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: don't know that he was really ever sober. I think
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: he used page as his guardrails. Yeah, And then once
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: like because someone made the observation, they're like, Craig seems
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: to fall apart when he's not in a relationship, but
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: Shep seems to fall apart when he is in a relationship.
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: And I thought to myself, I think Craig sees relationships
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: as his guardrails, but SHEP sees relationships as shackles, and
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: so that's why they react the way they do. But
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: going back to this Craig thing is that Karen, if
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: you want to look at Karen and Craig, Karen is
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: light years ahead of Craig because at least she's able
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: to admit I am struggling and I did this and
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: I need to change because what Craig is doing so
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: publicly when he meets with Whitney, he says that he's
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: perfectly imperfect, which I just wanted to throw the remote
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: at the TV because that is such a shitty justification
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: for being an asshole. Number one, yeah, number two, so
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: publicly and this is the problem. This is what I'm
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: getting to. This is what I think the problem is
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: for Kragan. Until he deals with this, he's not going
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: to be able to be successful. Craig says publicly he
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: hates how he gets agitated, and it's a reminder that
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: there's things to improve on, saying to Whitney, I could
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: have made different choices. However, in a confessional he said,
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: quote unquote cool I fucked up once in like two years,
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: my bad, and then he rolled his eyes.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, now is this is before he's seen the footage.
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: I imagine he doesn't even know what he did because
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: he was day.
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: How long has he been on Southern Charm? How many
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: years does he have of seeing his behavior over and
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: over and over again. He's seen it, He's seen it,
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: but he doesn't want to see it. Right.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: I have never seen him act that way that bad
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: to another gal on the show.
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: Really, Cameron, Well, I've seen him that drunk before on
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: the show.
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: I've just never but never seen him be that verbally
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: abusive to another cast member on that level, and I
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: should say a woman. Now, has he been that way
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: to like Austin or shechp Yeah, I guess, but I
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: guess for me, I'm kind of I pushed that aside
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: because I'm like, these dudes are just all a bunch
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: of assholes, and you know, so maybe maybe that is
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: something that he has shown us and I just haven't
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: paid attention. He has shown us that he gets black
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: out drunk. This is the worst I have ever personally,
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: and I could be you see dead wrong. So I'm
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: open to be corrected, But I'm wondering when he sees
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: this or when he did see it, Like that's the question,
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: what are you going to do when you see what
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: you did and everybody saw what.
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: You And I still maintain he wouldn't care because here's why.
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: The group of people around him, they're all telling him
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: your behavior is a problem. We are scared of your anger,
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: we are scared of you when you drink, and it's
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: everybody else's fault. But his his ego is too big,
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: and he has too many defenses up to be able
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: to take because like to be able to take ownership
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: of our stuff, we have to be able to take
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: our defenses down and have a bit of humility and
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: ego strength to say Okay, this doesn't feel good to
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: hear that I'm screwing up. That doesn't feel good for anyone.
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: But I need to hear the feedback, and then I
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: need to do something about that. And Craig is doing
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: the opposite of that. I mean until unless I see otherwise,
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: unless we see him next week and he's you know,
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: or I don't know, we see him a time, if
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: we see him.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: In real time, I haven't even checked. But I mean,
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: I think that it would have gotten in the news
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: if he like publicly was like, I am disgusted with
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: my behavior. I'm making changes, you know. I'm like, we
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: haven't seen that.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: No, And in fact, why I brought up the social
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: media stuff is that we are seeing the opposite of that,
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: where Craig is doubling down, and so is everyone in
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: his orbit, not people who know him on the show,
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: but people outside of the show. There should be no
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: one coming into the comments to be like defending his behavior,
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: but alas there are an innumerable amount of people who
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: are like, well, this is no, like he doesn't people
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: who want to defend Craig, you might defend him to
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: a place where he gets himself into really bad situations, jail, institution, death,
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: what have you. It's not a service to these people
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: to enable them. And by the way, SHEP is his
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: number one enabler. And I said, you know, here's what's interesting,
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: And a confessional, SHEP literally explained how he he was
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: enabled by his mom. Did you get did you catch
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: that story?
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: No? What do you mean?
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: Okay? So SHEP goes like everyone SHEP is saying, well,
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: I know that Craig is feeling terrible, and I don't
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: want him to be a pariah because like SHEP is
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: projecting his like SHEP is out of control with his alcohol,
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: so he projects like his mistakes that he's made onto Craig,
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: and he's like, oh, we should be easy on Craig.
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: But he's really talking about how he wants himself to
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: be treated, in my opinion. But in a confessional, SHEP
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: literally explains that he was kicked out of boarding school
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: and his mother came to pick him up, folded his clothes,
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: packed his things neatly, and comfortably drove him home, saying
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: I don't even need to say anything because I'm sure
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: you feel bad enough.
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: So SHEP is literally saying, here's here's why shep is
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: the way he is because he was enabled by important
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: people in his life.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: Wow, because when amazing you are a therapist, that's what
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: you heard, That's what I heard. That just would not
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: have understood it on that level, I honestly, and I'm
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: going to be fully honest with you. I thought to myself,
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: if I was in that situation with my daughter, what
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: would I have said? Would it have been worse to
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: just just rail into her about what just happened and
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: make her like or if I saw that she was
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: so distraught and so upset, would I do the same.
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: Would it be better to say, I know how upset
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: you are. I'm not even go in a sane thing.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: But what I landed on, And so my point is
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: I wondered if that was an okay move on his
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: mom's part, And then I landed with my own selfs
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: cutting it kind of in the middle where I would
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: probably say, I know you're upset, and I'm not gonna
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: we don't need to talk about it right now. This
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: is awful and I'm going to be there for you,
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: but we are going to talk about it and we'll
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: talk about it later.
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And there you go. What the reason why Shep
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: is the way he is is because there's no we're
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: going to talk about it later, there's no accountability. Because
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: here's the thing. Holding people we love accountable doesn't mean
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: conflict or yelling or being angry. In fact, I don't
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: think parents should treat kids like that. I think, you know,
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: talking to your child like their human being is important,
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: like you talk to a friend or a loved one.
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: But I think that it's the point of like when
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: that happens chronically over and over, that people are allowed
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: to get away with things and they're not lovingly held
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: accountable in that way, you get a Shep. You get
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: a shep, Yeah, and then you get a Sheep who
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: wants to enable a crag because Shep is so deep
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: in his own ship yeah, that he is projecting this
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: all into Craig. I know, it's wacky, it's.
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: Is wild wild to hear. Also, just your takes on it,
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: because it's a perspective that I just would not have,
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: I would not be able to see anyway. But furthermore,
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: I do want to say, like it's just so disappointing
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: to I'm sorry, not disappointing, it's disappointing to see Craig
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: act that way. It's really hopeful that Southern Charm producers
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: allowed that cut and what we saw to be aired
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: right right, because I think that they've probably been protecting
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: him all these years, so we never got to see
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: those things.
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: Can I tell you? I had a production assistant for
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: Southern Charms slide right in to my DMS yes and
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: basically said that Craig's behavior has been abhorrent for years
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: and he gets a Darling cut. He gets a Darling
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: cut every single year. But his behaviors are known to
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: be bad, They've been bad, they've stayed bad, and they
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: are essentially enabled.
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's what that's And I think it's come to
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: a point where they're like, this train needs to start
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: slowing down, which is why you see Whitney going, you know,
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: Bruce Banner, you see him being like Jacqueline Hyde. You
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: see him almost trying to, like in the last you know,
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: two minutes of the game, cover his ass because this
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: has gotten so far that it's dangerous.
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: Right literally, And that's the thing. It's like, loving people
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: means holding them accountable. So I want to root for Craig,
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: I want to root for Karen. I want to cheer
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: for these people, but you got to do the work
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: to get that. Otherwise you're just harming people. You're harming
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: yourself and you're harming other people around you. And I
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: don't suffer that. I'm just not going to suffer that.
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: It's it's that's not how I roll the So the
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: hot box, oh, the giant pizza oven that I called
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: it the giant pizza oven because that's what it looked like.
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: And by the way, I call Whitney the Prince of Darkness.
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, that makes sense. That checks out, And I think
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: he's actually the hippie school he went to. Now it
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: actually makes so much sense, doesn't it why he is
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: who he is. I was like, why didn't we get
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: this a long time ago? Finally we get something from you, right, Yeah,
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: the tent where they went for an hour, which looked
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: miserable and no one as thin as those gals should
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: be in that situation. But Craig, they did the edit was,
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: you know, exposing him. The last few episodes of like,
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: you're not dealing with your issues, you know, the shaman
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: or whomever was leading it, saying you have to face
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: things whether you like it or not, and He's like,
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: I got to get out of here, and I'm leaving,
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: but how uncomfortable. Craig tried his hardest to stick in there,
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: even at the end when they're all kind of circled
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: up and everyone's having these moments like Rodrigo's like, oh
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: my God, my boila, and people are getting really deep
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: about that experience. They feel lighter, they feel like they've
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: shed a lot of stuff. And Craig is kind of
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: standing around and he's smiling a lot, and I, you know,
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: I really was able to take in what, you know,
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: just like wow, all of the layers that are in
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: front of him that he's built around himself, and I
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: just thought, wowes no, yeah.
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: And that's an institute observation. It really is a microcosm
• 59:57
  Speaker 2: of what happens in Craig's life. For he's in this thing.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: He doesn't want to be in it, but he's in it.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: He went there because Charlie didn't want to get a massage,
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: so he went with the rest of the group. He's like,
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: I can't do this. The guy's like stick it out
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: and he's like, I'm too claustrophobic. I can't And it's
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: like we're always going to there is always an excuse
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: for why we can't do things. Yeah, but the fact
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: is that growth and healing is hard. It's not it
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: takes blood, sweat and tears. It's not for the faint
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: of heart. And we're not just going to fall or
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: trip into it. So until Craig is ready to be
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: I'm honest with himself and others, and he's ready to
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: do the work, it's just we're going to see the
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: same old stuff. And until then, I'm going to continue
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: to call it out. And I don't care how many
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: people don't like.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: It, and as you should, because that is your voice
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: in this world. And like I said, when you're talking
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: about these different perspectives and things that I just never
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: would have saw, that's what I really appreciate about it. Yeah,
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: thanks Amy.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: Well, speaking of girl power, let's move on to some
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: Olympic stuff in the last few minutes of this amazing podcast.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: Alisa lu for me is like the representation of like
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: a badass woman who you know was doing this. She
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: quit because she didn't like it. She went off, she
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: did other things, she grew, she learned, and then she
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: came back and then she crushed it with a freenduline
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: piercing and wild hair and just like unapologetically herself. Yeah,
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: and I just loved you and I just we were
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: texting about her. And there was another girl who you
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: remind me who you really.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: Liked, Mikayla Schiffrin. Mmm. Yes, and there was another gal too.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: I just think, like to represent and to see these badass,
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: empowered female athletes, yeah, you know, the women's hockey team.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: It just gave me, like my brain, it was like
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: CPR for my brain, like serotonin and epinephria. It was
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: just like, it's okay, Melissa's brain. There's good things happening
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: in the world.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I completely agree. And also what a different generation
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: it is for women. What an example that these young
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: ladies are for an entire generation of kids coming up
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: and looking at them going wow, you know Alisa, she
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: her father like this is it's such a wild story.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: He was single and he wanted to have kids. He
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: had five kids with a surrogate and so and then
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: I think he eventually got married, you know and stuff.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: But Lisa was the first, and so he really poured
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: into her, like almost upwards of a million dollars with
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: her skating career because he said he saw the potential,
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: he saw the talent, and at some point she was like,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do this anymore. He was not
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: happy about that obviously. Twenty twenty two Olympics, she in Beijing, Yeah,
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: yeah she was. She got sixth place, which was like
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: the highest any US American had gotten in a while,
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: in a long time in figure skating, So she already
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: did exceedingly well. Regardless she wanted to stop. He had
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: a problem with that. Cut to you know, she was
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: there like what did you do? I tried every hobby boom.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: And that is one of the characteristics is she gave
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: herself the gift of autonomy. So autonomy is like a
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: term for having our own sense of agency, not feeling
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: like we have to get up and skate and do
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: this because our dad says, and I want to get
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: into the Olympics. She learned what made herself happy and
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: did that, and that is one of the huge things
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: that leads people to be successful. What she did right there.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: Wow. And it's also like she ended up coming back
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: to skating, which is honestly a little surprising because she
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: could have never come back, but she obviously did enjoy
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: it on some level. The way that she explained it
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: was that it actually I realized that skating is something
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: that I really enjoyed because of all these other things
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: I've experienced. It's like the creativity, the music, the choreography,
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: the artisticness, you know, all the things that she tried.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: And then she came back to, Wow, this is why
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: I like this, which is kind of unheard of, especially
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: when you look at the Olympics. All you're doing is
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: just working, working, working so hard to get to be perfect,
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: to win, win, win. At the end of the day,
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: you're not out there because you love it, you know
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying, You're not there because you love it. Now,
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: she told her father, do not want you to come
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: on this, you know tour, and I don't want you
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: to be involved in any way. And she also was
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: like I don't know how he felt about it, and
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: I don't really care. And when after the winning the goal,
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: I remember one of the interviews, they're like, en, what
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: did your dad say? And she's like, I haven't even
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: talked to him yet, Like she has washed her hands
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: any Yeah, wow.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: But because I think I think so. And here's the
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: thing that I want to share is that she embodies
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: so much of what it means to be a resilient
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: human being and to not to put her own needs
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: first and not her dad's, and not Americas and not
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: the Olympics. I believe that is why she's successful, because
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 2: she's like, Oh, I got rid of all the shit
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 2: that didn't serve me, and I realized how the love
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 2: of this is so powerful for me. And when she
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 2: took off the shackles of everything else, look how she thrived.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, how she thrived. The way she skates
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: and I look back at the twenty twenty two skate
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: and she has a similar relaxed vibe about her. However,
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: it is vastly different. I mean, you can see the
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: joy Clinch's eight.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 2: And that's exactly it. It's like the joy and listen,
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: I'm not an Olympic athlete, but what I can relate
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: to is that when I'm doing this podcast because I
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 2: need to get one done every week, versus the joy
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: of doing it. You can tell in my voice and
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 2: my presentation right when we love what we're doing versus
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: what we just have to do it. There's those differences.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: So there's a study there's a couple of things that
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 2: I think people would be interested to share. So psychology today.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: There was a two thousand and two study. Ten US
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 2: Olympic champions, six men, four women, participated in in depth interviews.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: The athletes completed a psychological battery of tests. Together. They
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: won thirty two medals, twenty eight of them gold. And
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: the athletes have competed in one or more Olympic Games
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 2: between seventy six and ninety eight. Okay, so this is
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 2: where it comes from. And so this study found twelve
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: core psychological characteristics shared by these Olympic champions. Number one
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 2: the ability to cope with and control anxiety. That's going
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: to be huge, right, because so the field of sports
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: psychology is a field talking about the mind body connection,
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: utilizing psychological research to optimize athletic performance, mental health, and
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: well being. Because so much of our participation football players,
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: people who are at the top of their game. It's
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: a mental game. And so that's why the whole field
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: of sports psychology exists, which it was always something I
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: was super interested in. Cool, Yeah, it is very cool.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: So in addition to number one, the ability to cope
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: and control anxiety, number two is confidence but confidence also
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 2: means to like, are you positively motivated? Like what is
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: motivating you? Are you motivated out of fear, out of
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 2: upsetting your parent, or are you positively motivated and feeling
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: good about your ability to be good at your sport?
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: Essentially? Wow?
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 2: Three And I think this for me as a two
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 2: time cancer survivor, this is when people ask me, how
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: do you do this? This is my answer. Mental toughness.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 2: I am like a cockroach. I literally there is nothing
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: in this world, and there's been many obstacles that will
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: stop me. But the key to being successful is the
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: ability to fall flat on your face, come back up
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 2: and try again, over and over and over again. And
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: so mental toughness and resilience, the ability to persevere and
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: to successfully cope with adversity. Wow, that's huge and she
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: has a lot of that, a lot of that. Number
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: four is sports intelligence, so obviously like being knowing all
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 2: the ins and outs of your sport. Obviously you know
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 2: that's going to be a huge thing. Five is the
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: ability to focus and block out distractions, which is another
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 2: huge one.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: How do you do that? How do you do that?
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: You know, figure skating, especially you're getting out there in
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: the middle of all those people.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: Well, there's some I know, there's some skills and techniques
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: that I'll mention in just a minute, because there are
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: some like there's some evidence around, like how do you
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: do some of this stuff? Six is competitiveness, which broke
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 2: down into three theme. The three themes having a killer instinct,
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: being intense, meaning like having an aggressive and go for
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 2: an attitude, and then being competitive, being a fighter, and
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 2: never giving up, which again talks to that mental resilience part,
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 2: like just not giving up.
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: The seventh thing is a good work ethic because to
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 2: be great at anything. Wow, there's a lot of time, practice, preparation,
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 2: get up and go, honey, bunny right eighty to set
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 2: and achieve goals. Nine is coachability, which, by the way,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 2: coachability we're going to go back to Craig and Karen
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 2: for a minute, is like coachability also extends to life,
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 2: like how coachable are you when you receive feedback from friends,
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: from therapies, from people in your life? How coachable are.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: We that when in the Bravo universe is coachable? Very
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: few subjects that we are speaking on today.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: That's right, that's right now. Number ten is hopefulness, which
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 2: I think is also in life. The key to life
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: is being hopeful. Optimism, which is basically and not this
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 2: is not toxic positivity, but optimistic people confront challenges with
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: confidence and persistence. That kind of optimism. You don't have
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 2: to see the world as everything is peachy, but you
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 2: have to be optimistic about your ability to do all
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: these things. And then the last thing which this struck
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: me was perfectionism. Now there are two types. There are
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: two kinds of perfection is a maladaptive and adaptive, both
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: types being known for setting high personal standards. But maladaptive
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: perfectionism is associated with being overly critical with making mistakes,
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 2: whereas adaptive perfectionism is positively linked with achievement.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: Yes, So to your question of how the hell do
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: we do these things? Number one, they talk about pre
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: competition routines, so creating consistent rituals to build comfort and focus.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: So that's this is something that all people can do.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: These are things like mindfulness and visualization, practicing mental imagery
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 2: to help prepare for scenarios seeing yourself doing yourself. Yes, yes,
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: Visualizing for me is a huge skill that I think
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 2: a lot of people underutilize. I think people it get
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: it gets confused with manifesting, because manifesting is great, but
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: we have to see ourselves doing the hard thing. If
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 2: that makes sense.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: It doesn't shows.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 2: I almost recommend to people to like visualize what it
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: would look like for you to be successful doing this
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 2: and then kind of learn from that and go from there.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: Great advice. I love that.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 2: Another one is positive self talk, So like how we
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: talk to ourselves is so important. And if you make
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: a mistake and you're like, you dumb bitch, you're never
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: gonna do this.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: Right, well, yeah, yeah, that's gonna that's going.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: To impair you.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: So whether there's this saying whether you think you can
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 2: or you can't, you're right. So what we think about
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: ourselves and our ability to be successful at things that
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: is largely it will we be successful or not? And
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 2: then honestly letting go of mistakes, so making a mistake
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 2: and then being like Okay, I made it, and then
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: refocusing after it and trying it again.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: Hilarious that in that list was perfectionism, and then like
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: the next one's like letting go like okay, so basically
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: the impossible, you know, I.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: Know, it's it's it's tough.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: You're an adaptive perfectionist, you might.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: Have exactly yes, because I am what we call maladaptive.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 1: In all of those things. I am on getting positive talk,
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: positive talk.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 2: And so I think though the message is just that, like,
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 2: do the things you love as best as you can,
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 2: give yourself grace, set goals, and be resilient. I mean
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 2: that's essentially like you know, and again, the answer to
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 2: how do we do that is we practice one day
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 2: at a time, day in and day out. We act
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 2: opposite until things really align with us, and then we're like, hey,
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 2: we're doing it like riding a bike.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: Fake it till you make it, with a positive attitude.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 2: With a positive self view, with a positive view of
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 2: like you know, listen, we can do anything that we
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 2: set our minds to. That is the kind of view,
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: not like everything's gonna go perfectly, We're gonna be fine.
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 2: We might fall flat on our face, but whatever's coming
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 2: will come and we'll meet it when it does. Yeah,
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 2: that kind of thing. So okay, So Amy, any last
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 2: words about any of this.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm very much down with everything you said, and
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: I just want to mention give a special shout out
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 1: to Mikayla Schiffrin, who did win the gold for downhill skiing,
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 1: and she lost her dad tragically in an accident in
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty and so this winning a gold was a
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: huge thing for her. In twenty twenty six, she spoke
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: on like a basically a press It was just basically
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: a press interview, and you'd think that they'd be very
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: impersonal because there's a lot of people there and there
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: at the desk and you know, but for some reason,
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: she was able to become completely vulnerable, completely transparent, and
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 1: share with everyone that this was an unbelievable transition in
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: her life, winning this gold medal and competing in this
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: Olympics without her father, because this is a moment that
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: she said, she dreamed about and she's also been really
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: scared about because she would have to experience this without
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: her father. And she openly talked about grief. Whether she
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: said the word grief or not, it was sharing such
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: an important message and I've never heard it articulated in
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: this way. She said, everything in life that you do
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: after you lose someone you love is like a new experience.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: It's like being born again. And I still have so
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: many moments where I resist this. Don't want to be
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: in in I don't want to be in life without
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: my dad. And she said that her gold medal and
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: this Olympics helped her come to terms with this because
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: before she was going to compete, there was morning in
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: an afternoon she was going to take a nap, and
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: she said that she started to cry and she started
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: to think about her father, but then had a change
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: in her perspective that helped her focus on her goal.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: She said, I was thinking about the fact that I
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: actually can show up today and honestly say in the
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: start that I have all the tools that are necessary
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: to do my best skiing and to earn that moment,
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: and that she wanted to take that moment and communicate
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: in her heart and in her mind with the people
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: that have been there and thank them, but also that
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: instead of mourning the loss of her dad, that he
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: wasn't there in that moment, but to take the silence
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: and the time to be with him in that moment
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 1: without his presence there, but that he was with her
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: and for her to feel that. So she kind of
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: like crossed over to another side of grief essentially with
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: this and explain that in a press conference about her
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: gold medal. You know who does that these days? Like
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: that's the generation of leader.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 2: My god, yeah, leaders people who are just like built differently,
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: made differently. We can learn lessons from them.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: And that is such wisdom to stop from such a
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: young person. I you know, it just blew my mind.
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 1: And she inspired I God, she must have inspired so
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: many people. I mean, I'm just look at her, and
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: I think, this is such a young person that has
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: achieved so much in the eye in the world of
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: the eye, in the eyes of the world, but also
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: most importantly within herself and her own journey. I mean,
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 1: it's just so exciting, right, And.
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 2: I feel like this all comes full circle this podcast
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 2: back to I think what really matters is do we
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 2: feel we are capable of managing the things that are
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 2: coming our way and being honest with ourselves about that, Like,
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 2: you can't be great until you're able to look at, well,
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 2: here's this mistake, and here's this misstep, and I need
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 2: to hear this feedback in all of that. And so
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 2: I feel like from what we talked about at the
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 2: beginning till now, there's a lot of lessons that we
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 2: can learn from these Olympians that apply far outside of
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: any sports or Olympics. It's just like how to be
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: a successful human being and thrive at whatever you're doing.
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: And the mental aspect of it, which is what you
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: really were addressing, and the sports psychology of it, which
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: is why I like leaning into this with you, is
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: because that's what you cover with in the case of
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 1: in the past. When you hear from athletes and these
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 1: olympians after they win a medal and so forth. Usually
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't want to like, you know, completely compartmentalize,
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, or just like narrow it down to just
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: one story, but it's usually the journey is like I
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: injured my leg and I built myself back up and
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: I trained and everything they went behind that it's not
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 1: I lost my father and now I have to compete
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: without him, and I'm I'm grieving at the bottom of
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: this snowy mountain thinking how am I going to do this?
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: Because I don't want to be here without him. To
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 1: share that, and then also, you know, with Alisa Liu,
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: I had to stop everything I was doing and focus
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: on me, like who are these people? You know? Who
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: is this generation? It makes for a hopeful look to
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: the future. Melissa, Thank you and what a way to
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: end the podcast. Yes, hopeful, look to the future.
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 2: There are great people in this world that are doing
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 2: great things. There are helpers everywhere, There are in the
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 2: midst of the chaos, there is beauty and I think
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 2: it's great to see that and to recognize that. So wow, Amy,
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 2: what a journey we've gone on today.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 1: Only we really did, We really did.
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 2: So please let everybody you know know where they can
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 2: find you.
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know where to find me Drama Darling anywhere
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: you listen to your podcasts. Also, if you want more
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: recaps and also add free as well as video, head
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 1: on over to patreon dot com slash drama Darling. I'm
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: at meet Amy Phillips on Instagram.
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 2: Thank you and please check me out on Instagram at
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: your bish therapist. Please check out my patreon where we Yeah,
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 2: like Amy, I do ad free full video, all of that.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 2: I love my Patreon. That's where it's at. And this
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 2: episode will be coming out at free and available everywhere
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 2: on Tuesday, and I'm so excited. I can't wait forever. Listen.
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 2: I think this was really great and Amy, as always,
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 2: I just appreciate you and your perspective. And this has
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 2: been refewise, so thank you so much. Yeah, you love them.
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 2: Sending love to you and yours. I want to say
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 2: TATA for now everybody send it and then a disclaimer.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 2: Posts are not intended to diagnose, treat or provide medical advice.
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 2: Your bish Therapist is for entertainment and informational purposes only.
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 2: The podcast, my opinions and posts are my own and
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 2: not associated with past or present employers, any organizations, BravoTV,
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 2: Gray Heart Productions, or any other television network. The information
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 2: in YBT podcast and on its social media is provided
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 2: for general informational purposes only, and it's not intended to
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 2: diagnose our treat Please do not act or refrain from
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 2: acting based on anything you read, see, or hear on
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: YBT podcast or associated social media. Communicating with YBT via
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 2: email and or social media does not form a therapeutic alliance. Melissa,
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 2: operator of YBT, is unable to provide any therapeutic advice, treatment,
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 2: or feedback.