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The Power of Forgiveness · No Más Yes Girls

0:00
SPEAKER_02: Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of No More Yes Girls, where we, your hosts, Vivian and Vene, talk about our healing journeys.
0:10
SPEAKER_02: Hi everyone.
0:12
SPEAKER_02: Welcome back.
0:13
SPEAKER_02: Today's topic is something that doesn't really get talked about deeply.
0:20
SPEAKER_02: It gets talked about, but I don't feel it gets talked about deeply enough.
0:25
SPEAKER_02: And I feel like it has the power to change the way we live.
0:28
SPEAKER_02: And I'm talking about forgiveness.
0:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
0:32
SPEAKER_02: Today we really want to talk about what really means to forgive, not from obligation, but from a place of healing.
0:42
SPEAKER_02: I think it's important to start here.
0:44
SPEAKER_02: What is forgiveness really?
0:46
SPEAKER_02: What do you think of it?
0:48
SPEAKER_01: You know what, sister?
0:49
SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you.
0:51
SPEAKER_01: To start forgiveness is hard.
0:53
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
0:54
SPEAKER_01: And it's hard because our ego is not willing to willing to let go.
1:02
SPEAKER_01: And forgiveness is not forgetting.
1:06
SPEAKER_01: But from my experience, from um a lot of situations that I have forgiven people and forgiven myself and have let go.
1:19
SPEAKER_01: It's it it's hard.
1:20
SPEAKER_01: It's hard when, especially when you're doing the healing journey, especially when you wish you can talk to people and you know get to that place of forgiveness for the both of you, but the other person is not willing to.
1:35
SPEAKER_01: You know how how many times I'm like, well, I tried.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: But I feel like now you're just making up an excuse for yourself, which actually it is.
1:45
SPEAKER_01: We're just kind of using it as an excuse.
1:47
SPEAKER_01: Well, I tried, they don't want to, but you're actually still holding the grudge.
1:51
SPEAKER_01: And and forgiveness is so hard, so, so hard.
1:55
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's it's hard to, you know, to forgive, but it's also very, very, very necessary.
2:02
SPEAKER_01: It's very necessary.
2:05
SPEAKER_01: But to forgive genuinely from the bottom of your heart, from from your soul, to forgive people, forgive um circumstances, forgive um trauma, forgive yourself, that's it's very necessary for a healing journey.
2:24
SPEAKER_01: Because I mean, for me, I needed to do that regarding all circumstances that I lived, forgive a lot of people who hurt me in a lot of very tragic ways.
2:36
SPEAKER_01: But knowing that I wasn't forgiving them, but I was forgiving for myself because I didn't know, because it wasn't my fault, because I didn't have control of it, because I didn't, you know, it it had nothing to do with me, but having to forgive myself and forgive situations and forgive people and let them go has been very, very healing.
3:01
SPEAKER_01: And I think that in your healing journey, when you get to the point of forgiveness, it's very important to take action.
3:09
SPEAKER_01: Because without taking action just by saying, Oh yeah, I forgive you, but you really don't feel it from within and you really don't exercise it, and you really just kind of say it, just to say it, that's you're you're gonna live with that grudge.
3:23
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna live, it's gonna come up.
3:26
SPEAKER_01: And I'm talking about that forgiveness that when you even see, say it's a person, and you even see that person and inside of you, and you could say a million times, oh yeah, I forgave them already.
3:37
SPEAKER_01: But when you see them, you're like, Oh, I can't stand them.
3:40
SPEAKER_01: That's not forgiving.
3:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is not forgiving, you know, where you can genuinely see that person and say, you know what?
3:48
SPEAKER_01: God bless you.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
3:49
SPEAKER_01: You don't feel absolutely nothing, you feel peace.
3:52
SPEAKER_01: Yep, that's the forgiving we're talking about.
3:56
SPEAKER_01: And the forgiveness we all need.
3:59
SPEAKER_01: Have you felt any of that, sister, when you have to like forgive?
4:02
SPEAKER_01: Have you have you forgiven someone but just saying you forgave them?
4:06
SPEAKER_01: But in reality, you were like 100%, 100%.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: Before I started this healing journey, um, I used to think that forgiveness means that the other person wins.
4:21
SPEAKER_02: I used to think, no, if I forgive this person, that means I'm minimizing what I went through.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:28
SPEAKER_02: If I let it go, that that means I I I'm letting them win every all the hurt and all the emotional weight I had and giving it to them.
4:39
SPEAKER_01: Or why do I have to forgive?
4:40
SPEAKER_01: I didn't do anything wrong.
4:41
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
4:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:43
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
4:44
SPEAKER_02: I lived I lived through thinking that way for quite some time.
4:48
SPEAKER_02: But I do want to say forgiveness now this past year, we've been again, now that we've been diving in deeper and healing much more deeper now.
4:59
SPEAKER_02: Forgiveness is an emotional weight that we've been carrying from someone who did or some or someone who did something to us, or in general, it doesn't even, and half the time it's it can be like hurting a loved one.
5:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it can also be hurting a loved one, like, oh well, I don't like this person because this person hurt my mom or hurt my dad or my sister.
5:23
SPEAKER_02: No, it had nothing to do with me, first and foremost.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: And at the end of the day, I'm the one carrying that emotional weight if I don't forgive that other person or whoever it is.
5:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and yes, forgiveness is hard because the pain was real, but at the same time, we have to let it go.
5:45
SPEAKER_02: We have to let it go in order for that hatred that we tend to have inside when what Vivian said earlier, like if we see that person or if we see something and it just like a knot builds up inside of us triggers you or triggers or trigger us, the moment we learn to forgive that or that person, all that emotional buildup goes away.
6:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:11
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I felt like that with my ex, my ex's family.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna be honest, like with my ex's family, there was people that oh, I just couldn't stand, I could not stand them.
6:23
SPEAKER_02: And they did a lot of hurtful stuff to me.
6:26
SPEAKER_02: And it was more verbal, verbal and emotional abuse that they would do.
6:32
SPEAKER_02: And I just did it like every time I would see them, or if I knew they were gonna be there, I would just look the other way, or I would even I wouldn't even acknowledge, like I would just completely just shut them out.
6:44
SPEAKER_02: And if they were in the same room where I was, I wouldn't even bother to talk to them.
6:49
SPEAKER_02: I would just look the other way or just look somewhere else.
6:52
SPEAKER_02: And I thought I was protecting myself, and I thought it was just like, well, no, I'm not gonna create drama if I do, um, if I acknowledge them.
7:00
SPEAKER_02: Once I started going to this healing journey, it's like, wait, that had nothing to do.
7:05
SPEAKER_02: It had I was creating scenarios in my head, I was creating a lot of um emotions within me, and I was the one carrying it, not them.
7:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so the moment I started putting it that way, or I started focusing the lens on myself and actually go inward and learn how to not carry those emotions anymore, or how I can forgive um them and forgive everything that's that they have done to me, I started noticing more peace and less emotional buildup within me.
7:47
SPEAKER_02: So even if I see them out on the street, or even if I run into them for whatever it is, I'm still I'm gonna smile and I'm gonna say hi if it's if it's if it comes to the point where we're like super close.
8:00
SPEAKER_02: But if I see them now, I it doesn't bother me anymore.
8:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it doesn't bother me.
8:08
SPEAKER_02: It it's more freeing, and it just and I just hope they find that peace within themselves.
8:18
SPEAKER_01: And you know what, sister?
8:20
SPEAKER_01: Whatever we put out into this world is what we're gonna receive.
8:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so why keep putting out those grudges and you know all that, all those emotions, those negative emotions?
8:37
SPEAKER_01: Because if we do that, we're gonna constantly see it all the time.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna receive it all the time, it's gonna come back to us all the time.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: So, why would you want to live holding all those grudges?
8:48
SPEAKER_01: Because then, like we talked about before, all those emotions turn into sickness, diseases in your body.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: So, why hold them?
8:58
SPEAKER_01: Forgiveness is not forgetting.
9:01
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean that if you're gonna forgive, forgive and forget.
9:05
SPEAKER_01: I think that's the most misleading phrase ever.
9:09
SPEAKER_01: Forgive and forget.
9:11
SPEAKER_01: Because you cannot forgive Yeah, you cannot forgive somebody and forget what they did.
9:16
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we all have boundaries.
9:18
SPEAKER_01: Let me set an example.
9:20
SPEAKER_01: I I can let somebody borrow money, right?
9:23
SPEAKER_01: And they say they promise they're gonna pay at a certain date, they don't pay, right?
9:30
SPEAKER_01: Time passes, they don't they don't pay up.
9:36
SPEAKER_01: You know what?
9:36
SPEAKER_01: I forgive you for not paying me.
9:38
SPEAKER_01: But if you want to come back, I'm not gonna forget you didn't pay me.
9:42
SPEAKER_01: I forgive you.
9:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm letting go of that emotion of being angry because you said you were gonna do something and you didn't do it, and I forgive you for it.
9:50
SPEAKER_01: But then if you come back and you ask me again to let you borrow money, I'm I don't forget that last time I let you borrow money, you didn't pay me.
9:57
SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm not forgetting it.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna do it again because I'm not gonna put myself in that situation anymore.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: I forgive you for doing it once because I'm letting go.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: It's an emotion.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: I'm letting it go.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: But it doesn't mean I'm forgetting.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: I'm setting my limit, I'm setting my boundary.
10:13
SPEAKER_01: And it also doesn't mean that you just because you forgive, people can come and cross your boundaries.
10:20
SPEAKER_01: You know, they just because you do that does not mean it gives them the right to do to come in and you know, keep treating you or you let yourself keep or be treated the way you used to maybe be treated.
11:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's it's a state of being uneasy.
11:15
SPEAKER_02: That's a state I do not want to live in.
11:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, I don't I don't live in that state.
11:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm just I yeah, I don't want to be living in an uneasiness life because it's it's just it's not peaceful.
11:30
SPEAKER_02: It's not peaceful, it's not calming, it's not love, and at the end of the day, we're gonna come back with trusting, forgiving, and trusting that you're not gonna carry that uneasiness anymore, and trusting that you're not gonna carry um that hatred or those that negative emotions inside, and trusting that there's bigger and better things, and bigger and better people, and people who will just love you unconditionally, and it's reciprocated because you're also living in that state as well, and you see those people with sympathy.
12:08
SPEAKER_02: You you see them, you you acknowledge it and you see it with sympathy, like you don't relate to it because you're no longer in that same state, you just you sympathize with how they're living or how they are, and you don't feel you don't feel those emotions anymore.
12:26
SPEAKER_02: Like it's it's it's crazy, it's crazy to to say, I know it sounds extreme, but you like the people who have hurt me in the past, or the people who just didn't agree with me and think that have said to me, like, why are you still talking to me if I if I hurt you or if I if I left your life, I don't want to be part of part of your life, why are you still talking to me?
12:52
SPEAKER_02: And it's like, well, I don't talk to them in a certain way as I used to, or have that relationship that I used to, but I'm not gonna sit around or I'm not gonna pray that you or give negative energy or um not bless you.
13:08
SPEAKER_02: On the contrary, even though either our relationship or friendship, whatever relationship you had with the other person, just because it's not there anymore, doesn't mean you need to wish them bad for the rest of the no, like for the people that I don't talk to anymore.
13:27
SPEAKER_02: I honestly I really do hope they are doing well.
13:30
SPEAKER_02: I do bless them and I pray that they're living the lives that they've always wanted to live, or at least be in a situation that they've always wanted to be in for the better.
13:41
SPEAKER_02: If they're not living in that specific way or in the way that they've always imagined, that's a decision that they took.
13:48
SPEAKER_02: Right, right, and it has nothing to do with me, yeah.
13:53
SPEAKER_01: That's what I was gonna say.
13:54
SPEAKER_01: It has again it has nothing to do with us.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: Um, and that's where forgiving ourselves comes in.
14:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because most of the time we think that people are doing things to us, but in reality, they're just showing who they truly are.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so we have to forgive ourselves because most of the time, and we don't know what triggered them, but most of the time we will victimize ourselves, and it probably had nothing to do with this, or it has they're projecting what they have inside, and there's something about you that just triggers them.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: And when you when you are an unhealed person or you haven't started healing, you take that as an attack.
14:41
SPEAKER_01: So it becomes harder to forgive.
14:43
SPEAKER_01: But when you start looking, like you say, within yourself, and you start doing the healing and you start forgiving, you see things like you mentioned in a whole different way.
14:55
SPEAKER_01: It's a lot easier because you can recognize oh, you know what?
15:00
SPEAKER_01: I I feel sorry for you.
15:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, you don't take it as a as an attack anymore.
15:07
SPEAKER_01: You like you say, you sympathize with them, and that takes loads off your back.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:13
SPEAKER_01: Loads and loads off your back.
15:15
SPEAKER_01: And not necessarily do you need to sit down with the person and talk to them for forgiveness.
15:20
SPEAKER_01: You don't.
15:21
SPEAKER_01: You know, you can do a letter.
15:25
SPEAKER_01: You can write a letter, and just like if you were talking to yourself or you were talking to God, and just be as real as possible.
15:36
SPEAKER_01: You know, start writing what what you're holding in, why you're so upset, you know, who made you upset.
15:43
SPEAKER_01: Um and you know, write as much as you can, everything you can remember.
15:49
SPEAKER_01: And then write, you forgive the person, the situation, yourself for X, Y, Z, you know, and just take it all out.
15:58
SPEAKER_01: When you're done, you can either rip it up, burn it, throw it away, do whatever you want to do with it, just let it go.
16:04
SPEAKER_01: Just know that there goes everything, you know, and you forgive them and you let everything go.
16:10
SPEAKER_01: And that has you have no control over any of those situations, but you have control over yourself, over your feelings, over what you're gonna do.
16:20
SPEAKER_01: That's the only thing you have control of.
16:22
SPEAKER_01: And it and it feels good.
16:23
SPEAKER_01: Like I said, you don't want to be carrying that around and make those emotions turn into sickness or disease or anything else.
16:32
SPEAKER_01: Want to be able to let it go.
16:34
SPEAKER_01: Walk as light in light as possible.
16:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're gonna have to write that down, yeah.
16:45
SPEAKER_01: Honestly.
16:47
SPEAKER_01: So always think forgiveness means walking light in light.
16:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I also want to add to forgiveness doesn't necessarily change the past, it changes with how you carry it in the future, in the present and in the future.
17:07
SPEAKER_02: Because obviously the past is the past, can't change it.
17:11
SPEAKER_02: We can acknowledge it, we can feel it, and we can learn to let it go.
17:14
SPEAKER_02: Like Pavin said, writing a letter, talking about it.
17:19
SPEAKER_02: With me, I personally like to do both talking and writing.
17:23
SPEAKER_02: Um, as I mentioned in previous podcasts, I've done therapy for a couple of years now, and I notice that I do release a lot of emotions when I'm when I'm talking about it with somebody.
17:37
SPEAKER_02: Of course, when I'm by myself, then I'll just start writing.
17:41
SPEAKER_02: But for me, it's more talking, talking and understanding where I'm coming from, and it's a lot of aha moments for me.
17:50
SPEAKER_02: And I I pretty much acknowledge where my error or my mistakes are at, or um saying, Oh my gosh, I blame this other person for doing X, Y, and Z to me when in reality it was just it was me doing it to myself.
18:09
unknown: Yeah.
18:11
SPEAKER_02: So the more the more I speak about it, the more I acknowledge and actually release a lot of that weight for myself.
18:20
SPEAKER_02: So there's a lot of ways that you can do this.
18:23
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't necessarily have to be one specific way, there's multiple different ways.
18:27
SPEAKER_02: I mean, find somebody who you can completely trust um and talk about things in a very non-judgmental way.
18:36
SPEAKER_01: So make sure the other person doesn't judge you in in any way, or just in a very comforting setting as well, or even talking about it out loud doesn't I don't think necessarily talking to somebody, or maybe even in prayer, yeah, saying it out loud, you know, just yeah, and letting everything go.
18:56
SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, I mean, I did it the first time um when I started my healing journey, I did it through prayer, through prayer and meditation.
19:04
SPEAKER_01: And um, and wow, it was it was something I had never never imagined I would do and never felt the way, like never felt so light after.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: And and it's something constant.
19:20
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't, yeah, yeah, it's not like a one-time thing and that's it.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: Because it's a process, it's a process, and because we're still learning.
19:31
SPEAKER_01: We have to go back and remind ourselves because our ego is not gonna let it go.
19:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, our ego is gonna tell you, hey, hey, no, no, no, no, no.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: Remember that person did this to you.
19:43
SPEAKER_01: Remember, did but we have to let we have to learn how to quiet our ego and walk light in that light.
19:53
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, it's it's a struggle, it's not easy, it's not uh, you know, um one size fits all kind of thing.
20:02
SPEAKER_01: Everybody has to find, excuse me, everybody has to find their they have to find first that courage, you know, to acknowledge that, hey, it's time for me to forgive.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: I'm not I haven't forgave how I thought I did and really, really look deep within you and you know, feel it.
20:22
SPEAKER_01: Feel it and start pushing your cart.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: Don't let it stop.
20:29
SPEAKER_01: Just push it a little bit, even if it's an inch, but you're pushing it to, you know, get to that healing place, to that forgiveness place and letting everything go and trusting that it doesn't matter how you do it, you're gonna do it.
20:44
SPEAKER_01: It's gonna happen and you're gonna be okay because you deserve it.
20:49
SPEAKER_01: We all deserve to be, you know, at peace with ourselves, with everybody else, and and be able to walk around and not have to worry about, oh, I'm gonna run into this person or what is this person gonna say, or what why?
21:05
SPEAKER_01: Why would you want to carry that?
21:07
SPEAKER_01: You know, even if sometimes it wasn't even our fault.
21:10
SPEAKER_01: You know, at the end of the day, it especially if it wasn't our fault, why would you want to carry that?
21:16
SPEAKER_01: Carry that guilt, you know, forgive yourself for carrying that guilt.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: You feel a lot better to be able to run into people and say, you know what?
21:26
SPEAKER_01: God bless you from way within your soul, truthfully, than to run into the person and feel that not in your stomach, you know, because you did the work.
21:41
SPEAKER_01: So you deserve to walk around and say, you know what?
21:44
SPEAKER_01: I I was blessed.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: I want everybody to be blessed because that's the best feeling for me at least.
21:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's the best feeling.
21:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because it comes back to you, yeah.
21:55
SPEAKER_02: It comes back to you, and I know I've said this in other podcast episodes too, but learning to be unconditional love.
22:04
SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's the journey, that's a journey I'm currently going through and learning for myself.
22:10
SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of different pillars that go with unconditional love.
22:14
SPEAKER_02: And of course, we talked it last week.
22:15
SPEAKER_02: We talked about or the two weeks ago, we talked about trusting.
22:20
SPEAKER_02: Trusting forgiveness are part of those pillars.
22:24
SPEAKER_02: And when you do when you do a lot of this work, I noticed that you also become more confident within yourself as well.
22:31
SPEAKER_02: You become much more confident, and you start loving yourself.
22:36
SPEAKER_02: More.
22:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: And because you're learning not only to forgive everybody around you, but yourself as well.
22:45
SPEAKER_02: Forgiving yourself should be the number one priority, in my opinion.
22:52
SPEAKER_02: In my opinion, because you see life super, super different and peaceful.
22:57
SPEAKER_02: You learn to live happier and peaceful.
23:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:00
SPEAKER_02: And people will feel that.
23:02
SPEAKER_02: People will feel that around you too.
23:04
SPEAKER_02: Like the moment you walk into a room, the moment you talk to other people.
23:09
SPEAKER_02: I've I don't know about you, Vivian, but I've gotten a lot as of late, now that I'm thinking about it lately, and you can hear it on my social media videos too.
23:18
SPEAKER_02: Like if you look at a lot of my comments, it's the calmness that I bring to a lot of people.
23:24
SPEAKER_02: It's oh my gosh, I love talking to you because you're non-judgmental.
23:29
SPEAKER_02: You don't tell me what to do.
23:31
SPEAKER_02: You um you just it's just so calming being around you or so grounding being around you.
23:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:39
SPEAKER_02: And it's like, well, again, I wasn't in this particular place that I am in um five, 10 years ago.
23:49
SPEAKER_02: And five, ten years ago, it was a lot of, well, I'm not gonna talk to this person because they did me dirty, or I'm not gonna talk to this person because they don't deserve, they don't deserve who I am.
24:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they don't deserve me, and it's like, um, we should focus on why I deserve myself in this situation, why I deserve things for me, not for anybody else.
24:16
SPEAKER_02: Um, but anyhow, fast-forwarding to where I'm at now, it's it's love, it really comes down to love.
24:26
SPEAKER_02: And I'm the type of person where I'm not gonna judge you for what you do, what you did, who you are.
24:33
SPEAKER_02: Like I'm learning to love unconditionally, and when I mean unconditionally, it's the good, the bad, the ugly, and not judging, and not judging what you've done.
24:47
SPEAKER_02: I mean, we can go to the extreme, but at the end of the day, we're all humans.
24:54
SPEAKER_02: At the end of the day, doesn't matter what title you carry, doesn't matter what what you've done to other people, you are deserving of love, and you are deserving of forgiveness and trusting.
25:06
SPEAKER_02: Higher source, it can be God, universe, Allah, Buddha, you name it.
25:14
SPEAKER_02: And if we can come down to that, I feel the world would be in such a better place.
25:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
25:21
SPEAKER_01: I think at the end of the day, everything is love.
25:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's all in love.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: So when you start feeling when you start loving yourself, but in that deep level and start healing and start forgiving, and you you you radiate that.
25:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you radiate it.
25:46
SPEAKER_01: You you that's the love you give out.
25:48
SPEAKER_01: It's the love you pour out into people, to the world, it comes back to you and it comes back to you in abundance.
25:57
SPEAKER_01: And I for me, I mean, it that feels really good.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:01
SPEAKER_01: Again, we're not minimizing how hard it is to forgive.
26:07
SPEAKER_01: I know it might sound like, oh my God, it's so they talked about it's so grateful.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it came so easy for them.
26:13
SPEAKER_01: No, it's not easy.
26:16
SPEAKER_01: I also fell into that whole, I forgive the person, even though that person talked about me or whatever, and I told myself, oh yeah, I forgive them.
26:28
SPEAKER_01: But then I would turn around and be like, trying to defend my name.
26:32
SPEAKER_01: That's not forgiving.
26:34
SPEAKER_01: You know, I was trying to defend my name after whatever people talk about and said about me when they it wasn't true.
26:42
SPEAKER_01: Now I just kind of let it talk or let them talk and let them go.
26:47
SPEAKER_01: And and I just feel bad because they don't know the truth.
26:51
SPEAKER_01: They don't know my truth.
26:53
SPEAKER_01: And that's where I forgive myself and I forgive them for not knowing me, for not knowing my truth, you know, and because of their ignorance, I guess you can say.
27:05
SPEAKER_01: And and and it's it's hard.
27:07
SPEAKER_01: I mean, and till this day, I also get that people criticize, oh, they talk about this, but they live this life.
27:15
SPEAKER_01: And are you am I mirroring something about you that you're not liking?
27:19
SPEAKER_01: You know, am I like you don't know the journey that I went through.
27:23
SPEAKER_01: We talk about it here, but you don't know the the actual journey.
27:27
SPEAKER_01: I not we don't hide anything.
27:29
SPEAKER_01: You know, we've gone through so much.
27:33
SPEAKER_01: And to forgive, at least for me, to to forgive 10 years of sexual abuse, to forgive domestic violence, to forgive my parents' divorce, everything that was said to me, to forgive all that is not easy.
27:50
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's not easy, but it doesn't mean that because I'm a I have done it now and I've done the work for me, it doesn't mean that I'm still that person.
27:59
SPEAKER_01: Maybe that's where you stayed.
28:01
SPEAKER_01: You know, maybe you're not liking something that you know I'm doing.
28:06
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're not liking that I'm able to forgive you, you know, and and I get it, it's hard.
28:11
SPEAKER_01: It's hard, but it's so rewarding.
28:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're talking about like 10, 15 plus years of healing journey.
28:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:21
SPEAKER_01: We're and and and deep healing, deep, deep healing, at least for me, in the last three to five years.
28:30
SPEAKER_01: Same deep, yeah deep soul healing.
28:34
SPEAKER_01: And continuing.
28:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and continuing.
28:38
SPEAKER_01: So we're not perfect.
28:39
SPEAKER_01: I I'm ready to write another forgiveness letter to let go.
28:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's true because I mean it's it's constant.
28:47
SPEAKER_01: Again, the ego is not is gonna remind you, excuse me, we gotta let it go.
28:53
SPEAKER_01: And then life happens.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: There's things that happen, situations that happen, but at least my letter's not gonna be that long anymore.
29:00
SPEAKER_02: This is true.
29:03
SPEAKER_02: Because we're able to recognize it now, we're able to see it, and we're able to be like, oh, why did I feel this way?
29:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh why why do I feel that knot in my stomach again?
29:14
SPEAKER_02: Or why do I feel um these emotions again?
29:17
SPEAKER_02: Well, what's going on?
29:18
SPEAKER_02: And then again, if there's something that I mean, the people that you least expected, if something were to happen, and the people that you least expected ended up doing something that hurts you, like, okay, let's process it, let's go through it.
29:34
SPEAKER_02: It's a trigger.
29:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, let's process it, let's go through it, let's write it out, let's talk it out.
29:40
SPEAKER_02: And again, it doesn't have to be to the other person, could be to yourself or um to somebody else, venting to somebody else, or speaking out loud, praying, meditating about it.
29:53
SPEAKER_02: And then, and then you can acknowledge them in a future instance if you would like, and absolutely don't feel anything.
30:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you know what?
30:04
SPEAKER_01: Right now, just talking about this reminds me of that episode episode we did about triggers, where I was triggered over someone else's situation that had nothing to do with me.
30:18
SPEAKER_01: Which now, you know, like I just said, I have to write that letter because now I recognize the trigger that I haven't healed yet.
30:28
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna work on it, like I mentioned before.
30:30
SPEAKER_01: I work on it, I meditate, I let it go.
30:34
SPEAKER_01: But that's I want to write it out and say, hey, I I forgive myself because it wasn't my situation, you know, and I forgive my parents because I was in, they put me in that situation.
30:46
SPEAKER_01: You know, so that's an example of something of a trigger that was really, really deep in there that I wasn't that I didn't even know until something happened that now I have to forgive myself for.
30:58
SPEAKER_01: So it's not something that because my parents got divorced 20 years ago and I did the healing journey, I forgave it already.
31:05
SPEAKER_01: So I'm done.
31:06
SPEAKER_01: No, it came up.
31:07
SPEAKER_01: So now I have to do the work.
31:09
SPEAKER_01: You know, but a lot of it um now it's like like you say, we recognize it.
31:14
SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of the situations when you are in a situation now, per se, um, that you have no control of, you can forgive right then and there.
31:24
SPEAKER_01: You know, even mentally, like, oh, I feel bad for you, but I forgive you.
31:29
SPEAKER_01: You don't know what you're saying, or you don't know what you're doing, or you had I have no control over the situation.
31:35
SPEAKER_01: So it's less that we have to worry about.
31:38
SPEAKER_01: You know, that's a lot easier.
31:39
SPEAKER_01: So it's a lot easier not to be a part of or victimize yourself over something you have no control over.
31:44
SPEAKER_01: It's a lot easier just to forgive and forget.
31:47
SPEAKER_01: Well, not forget, but forgive, forgive in the moment.
31:51
SPEAKER_02: It's it's funny because now I'm gonna put myself as an example again.
31:58
SPEAKER_02: You know how you hear on social media, like, oh my gosh, look at all these negative comments.
32:04
SPEAKER_02: You know that turn the that sentence.
32:06
SPEAKER_02: Look at all these negative comments, or look at all these positive comments, or why would that person say that?
32:12
SPEAKER_02: Why would that person okay?
32:14
SPEAKER_02: When I first started off social media, I was well aware, well aware that I was gonna receive a lot of mixed emotions type comments, like negative, positive, whatever it is.
32:29
SPEAKER_02: Um, now that I've been doing it for a couple of years now, I noticed that the more I am judged, the more sympathy I give to those people.
32:40
SPEAKER_02: Because they don't know who I am in general, they don't know where I come from, they don't know what is it that I do, or pretty much the um back end to how where I'm at now.
32:55
SPEAKER_02: Now it has gotten to the point where if somebody does say something negative, other people in the comments will, I don't want to say put them in their place, but um will defend you.
33:10
SPEAKER_02: Acknowledge, acknowledge, acknowledge that it's negative.
33:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and in other words, why are they bringing that negativity here?
33:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, however, you know what, sister?
33:23
SPEAKER_01: Um, like we like we said at the beginning of of this episode, what you give is what you receive.
33:29
SPEAKER_01: So the energy you give out is the energy that that comes back to you.
33:34
SPEAKER_01: And these last couple of months, I've noticed that your comment section has probably not even one negative comment.
33:43
SPEAKER_01: I have not seen one.
33:45
SPEAKER_01: I was like, when when a few uh when you first started a couple years back, there was a lot of negative comments.
33:52
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, how can you deal with that?
33:55
SPEAKER_01: You know, but now you know, when now that you have gone deep into your healing journey and you're you are you know spreading that love through your videos, that's what you're getting back.
34:06
SPEAKER_01: And it's so amazing to see it.
34:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:10
SPEAKER_01: Because that's what you're giving, that's what you're receiving, and you deserve it.
34:15
SPEAKER_01: So it is possible, guys, to to have most great comments, you know, hardly any, if any, negative comments.
34:24
SPEAKER_02: And it just it just it will just get better and better as time goes on.
34:29
SPEAKER_02: And again, I think it it just goes back with how you treat yourself, how you treat yourself, how you forgive yourself, how you trust yourself, how you um live your life for the better, peaceful, being at peace, happy with yourself, confidence.
34:49
SPEAKER_02: Once you pour all of that back into yourself, you see it in everything that you do.
34:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, in every single thing that you do.
35:00
SPEAKER_02: It can be social media, it can be at your job, it can be podcasting, it can be whatever it is that you're doing.
35:09
SPEAKER_02: People will feel that and they will see it and be like, wow, like late as of late, I've gotten so many people will tell me you look different.
35:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh, your your skin is glowing.
35:20
SPEAKER_02: I've gotten a lot of that.
35:22
SPEAKER_02: Your skin is glowing, you look happier, you look much more calm, you look calmer.
35:27
SPEAKER_02: Um, you're radiating.
35:30
SPEAKER_02: And it's like it's it's I've been learning unconditional love, and I honestly say that I'm learning unconditional love.
35:37
SPEAKER_02: I'm learning how to be unconditional love as of now.
35:41
SPEAKER_02: Lately, I've been um reflecting a lot, a lot in my past.
35:47
SPEAKER_02: I've been going into and seeing, wow, for some reason, I again, and it's it's a human experience.
35:56
SPEAKER_02: We always see the negative stuff that we do in the past, always for whatever reason, we always think about all the negativity we've done or that people have done to us, but rarely speak or actually reflect on all the posity we've done in the past or um what people have done for us.
36:17
SPEAKER_02: And lately I've been reflecting a lot about all the positive um things that I've done in the past for others and um who's helped me or at least bring posity in my life in the past.
36:32
SPEAKER_02: And again, talking about forgiveness, I was forgiving a lot of that negativity negativity that was done, but all of this to say that there's so much good that we naturally do, then it is bad, or acknowledging that we've always been loved, we've always been love.
36:54
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter what we did for for others, what we've done in the past.
36:58
SPEAKER_02: And I actually um was talking to some of some friend friends that I have in the um from way back when, as well as more recent friends, and I was asking them like what they thought about me, what they thought, what they thought about me, and they they can say anything, could be negative, positive, whatever it is.
37:22
SPEAKER_02: And their reflection was or their yeah, their reflections about me was you taught me how to forgive.
37:30
SPEAKER_02: A lot of them was you taught me how to forgive and not and not learn and not use the word hate.
37:39
SPEAKER_02: Because I mean it's it's common, common vocabs, like oh my gosh, I hate this person, or I hate this, I hate that.
37:45
SPEAKER_02: And it's like most of the time we don't really mean it, but we say it.
37:49
SPEAKER_02: But at the same time, when we pour that energy of hate, it really does come back to you, yeah.
37:56
SPEAKER_02: Because the con your subconscious doesn't know what is wrong from right, right?
38:02
SPEAKER_02: And um, so when you pour that type of energy, it comes back to you.
38:08
SPEAKER_02: So it's and I've always I've always been very straightforward with my friends, like, hey, like what can we do to grow?
38:15
SPEAKER_02: Like, I've always a lot of my friends will tell me, you you taught me how to become or learning how to become a better person, or yeah, I'm I'm watching your videos, or I'm watching you, and I need to work on this for myself, or I need to learn how to be more confident, or I need to learn how to forgive, or I need to learn.
38:32
SPEAKER_02: And it's like for me, what brings me a lot of joy and happiness is okay, they're acknowledging what they need to do.
38:40
SPEAKER_02: Whereas other people, it takes it can take years or never to actually acknowledge themselves or what they need to do for themselves and for the betterment of um others.
38:53
SPEAKER_02: But when they're like, Oh yeah, learning how to forgive others, like I still can't believe you talk to people who had hurt you or you really don't have anything bad to say about those people who hurt you.
39:05
SPEAKER_02: No, I don't.
39:05
SPEAKER_02: I don't because at the end of the day, I'm gonna be the one carrying that weight, and I don't want to carry that weight anymore.
39:12
SPEAKER_02: I don't need to.
39:12
SPEAKER_02: I don't need to.
39:13
SPEAKER_02: Now my my mission is to continue being unconditional love and being peaceful and happiness.
39:19
SPEAKER_02: And if they come across one day later on in life and they acknowledge me, I'm gonna acknowledge them back, or vice versa.
39:28
SPEAKER_02: Again, the last probably the last two years, it's it's been going deeper and deeper.
39:33
SPEAKER_02: But I do want to say you don't forgive because they deserve it, you forgive because you deserve to live in peace.
39:42
SPEAKER_02: Yep, exactly.
39:43
SPEAKER_02: So again, I'm gonna repeat that one more time because it's it's a very powerful sentence.
39:50
SPEAKER_02: You do not forgive because they deserve it, you forgive because you deserve to live in peace, and you deserve to walk light in light, indeed.
40:06
SPEAKER_02: So very, very, very, very powerful.
40:09
SPEAKER_02: Very powerful.
40:10
SPEAKER_02: It is a process, yeah.
40:12
SPEAKER_02: It is a it's it's a process, it is not gonna be from one day to the next, it's gonna take time and effort, just like with everything, but it is possible.
40:23
SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is.
40:24
SPEAKER_01: We hope that these types of episodes, um, while we're that we're going deeper into healing is really helping you guys to understand the healing journey and knowing that we know it's not easy, but at least it's giving you um a little insight of exactly you know what to expect, you know, when you're going through through your own journey and to know that it's okay and to know that you can reach out.
40:57
SPEAKER_01: You can reach out to us, um, know that we've gone through a lot.
41:02
SPEAKER_01: We've talked about experiences, or we can also get you connected with some help if you need.
41:09
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I mean, we're hoping that you know these are powerful episodes, powerful topics, and we just want with the most love and respect towards you to know that the way you are living now does not have to be the way you continue to live.
41:29
SPEAKER_01: I hope that helps.
41:30
SPEAKER_01: And again, you guys um know all the ways to reach out, and yeah.
41:37
SPEAKER_02: Everything is linked down in the description box.
41:40
SPEAKER_02: We will always have everything linked in the description box, no matter what.
41:44
SPEAKER_02: So um, if there's any way you want to reach reach us, there's multiple ways to reach us, I should say.
41:50
SPEAKER_02: How we always finish every episode with thanking each and every one of you for listening.
41:56
SPEAKER_02: And I hope some of this resonates or you think about some of this, and you're not alone, and you are not alone.
42:04
SPEAKER_02: This is something that I feel like we it's it's a necessity to talk about.
42:09
SPEAKER_02: And the more we talk about it, the more we can provide more growth.
42:14
SPEAKER_02: And again, thank you.
42:15
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for subscribing, liking, and sharing all our episodes on our social media platforms.
42:22
SPEAKER_02: We appreciate each and every one of you, and we're always gonna continue to send love and light your way.
42:30
SPEAKER_02: We'll see you next time.
42:32
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
42:33
SPEAKER_02: Bye.