Latest / You Didn't Ask For This / 50 | Soup as Old as Rhyme

Transcript

50 | Soup as Old as Rhyme · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Matt: Well, the Queen is dead.
• 0:01
  Eric: Oh, golly.
• 0:03
  Matt: Yeah.
• 0:03
  Matt: Did that happen?
• 0:05
  Eric: Oh.
• 0:07
  Eric: Wait.
• 0:07
  Eric: Of England?
• 0:09
  Eric: Are you doing a bit?
• 0:12
  Eric: I love that that is where our we have been friends for so long.
• 0:20
  Eric: And the fact that I know you asked me that in absolute sincerity.
• 0:26
  Matt: That was an earnest question.
• 0:27
  Matt: Yeah, no, it was beautiful.
• 0:29
  Matt: That was an earnest question.
• 0:30
  Matt: No, but is she dead?
• 0:31
  Matt: Yeah, she's dead.
• 0:33
  Eric: Been dead for by the time this episode comes out, a month.
• 0:36
  Eric: Oh.
• 0:37
  Eric: Ooh.
• 0:38
  Eric: Hey, and listen, to any royals listening to this episode right now, what loot did she drop?
• 0:45
  Matt: That's a good question.
• 0:47
  Matt: Uh, one this show could cover in another world, but you know, that's not why I believe it or not, Eric.
• 0:53
  Matt: This is not the bit I wanted to bring up in this cold open by saying this.
• 0:57
  Eric: Okay.
• 0:57
  Eric: Oh, sorry.
• 0:58
  Eric: Yeah.
• 0:58
  Eric: What else, what other hilarious knee slapping, gut busting fucking setup were you going for when you're going to be able to do that?
• 1:05
  Eric: Believe it or not, that was just a setup of a lady who owned half this planet.
• 1:10
  Matt: Well, you know, this is our 50th episode, Eric.
• 1:13
  Matt: Um I think I think it is fair to say things are getting a little serious.
• 1:18
  Eric: I'm glad someone said it.
• 1:19
  Matt: And, you know, after watching all this coverage, and obviously, I I just personally pre-death, Lindsay and I just binged all the crown.
• 1:29
  Matt: Very good show.
• 1:31
  Matt: So it's been on my mind recently, and when I realized, you know, we're sitting down to record our 50th episode, I realized we don't have a line of succession.
• 1:40
  Matt: Holy shit.
• 1:42
  Matt: What happens if one of us, or both of us?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Both of us.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: Because if we die, it's gonna be together.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna thelmall Louise that shit off.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_11: Bro, this the fucking throne will sit empty.
• 1:57
  Matt: The throne will sit empty.
• 1:59
  Matt: There will be a war secession wars, bro.
• 2:01
  Eric: It does need rebellion.
• 2:03
  Eric: Yeah, I hate everything about this.
• 2:05
  Eric: We need we need heirs yesterday.
• 2:08
  Matt: Who that's what and that's why I've gathered us here today.
• 2:11
  Matt: Okay.
• 2:12
  Matt: Who inherits you didn't ask for this?
• 2:15
  Matt: Who can take up the mantle after we are dead in several hundred years?
• 2:21
  Eric: They can't be funnier than us.
• 2:23
  Eric: They can't be funnier than us, no.
• 2:25
  Eric: Now, is this like uh of of people we know, or is it sky's the limit?
• 2:30
  Matt: Well, I don't know because I was gonna say we've had some great guests on this show, but yeah, if uh I mean we don't want them to be funnier than us, so I think that eliminates all of the guests.
• 2:40
  Eric: They just all are you know like all of them, and they were on thin ice anyway, in that regard.
• 2:46
  Eric: Like, you come onto my fucking show.
• 2:49
  Eric: You come onto my show and you just say shit that's funnier than the shit I say.
• 2:55
  Eric: Yeah, like where do you get off?
• 2:57
  Eric: Like, what the fuck?
• 2:58
  Matt: You know, you it's called a guest appearance, okay?
• 3:02
  Matt: God damn it.
• 3:04
  Matt: So, you know, yeah, so none of those ingrates.
• 3:07
  Matt: Um yeah, and I'm I'm glad we're starting out by bad mouthing them.
• 3:12
  Eric: Oh, yeah, let's get it all out now.
• 3:14
  Eric: Um I'm calling it like I I know we were talking about this before the show, but 50, this is where we get sassy.
• 3:19
  Eric: Up until now, people thought we were sassy.
• 3:21
  Eric: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 3:23
  Eric: No, no, no, no, no.
• 3:24
  Eric: The training we're children on.
• 3:26
  Eric: That's my secret cap.
• 3:27
  Eric: I'm always sassy.
• 3:31
  Eric: So So who the fuck would it be?
• 3:33
  Matt: So who would it be?
• 3:35
  Matt: I mean, sure, we could sit here, we could recruit celebrities.
• 3:38
  Matt: Sure, we could do that.
• 3:40
  Matt: But maybe in the true spirit of you didn't ask for this, maybe it has to be an unknown.
• 3:45
  Matt: And by an unknown, I mean unknown to us.
• 3:48
  Eric: I mean a stranger.
• 3:49
  Eric: Matt, are you even remotely suggesting a Willy Wonka-esque contest?
• 3:57
  Eric: Hold on.
• 3:58
  Eric: Because you know how I feel about Willy Wonka-esque shenanigans.
• 4:02
  Matt: I was not, but now I am.
• 4:08
  Matt: And what and and that'll be the big reveal.
• 4:11
  Matt: When Char when the when the when the Charlie, the Charlie in this situation, the Charlie Bucket gets to the end, and the person leading this brigade, unless it is us, unless we haven't film and Louise us.
• 4:24
  Matt: Oh, oh, we're about to.
• 4:25
  Eric: Like we've planned it.
• 4:26
  Eric: We've planned our retirement.
• 4:28
  Eric: We've planned our air quotes retirement.
• 4:31
  Eric: Retirement.
• 4:33
  Eric: Now we're like, yeah, let's find this fucking down and out little piece of shit kid to replace us.
• 4:40
  Matt: Yes.
• 4:40
  Matt: And we invite them in sim as simply so we can corner him and his elderly grand grandfather in an office to say, you get nothing, you lose.
• 4:52
  Matt: Good dance.
• 4:53
  Matt: Yeah, but in stereo, just both of us.
• 4:56
  Eric: We're on either side of the kid, just screaming it in his face.
• 5:01
  Eric: Dumb little urchin face.
• 5:03
  Eric: Go and ham on Charlie.
• 5:10
  Matt: And then and then we say, no, no, Charlie.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: Charlie, you were morally correct.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yes, Charlie, you fucking idiot.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: You won.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: You won! You did it, Charlie.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: And what did you win?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: You won the responsibility of teaching yourself how to edit a podcast.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: And you're probably wondering, will you get ad revenue?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_11: Of course not.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_11: Not Charlie.
• 5:41
  Matt: Not if the show ends now.
• 5:43
  Matt: Not if we're doing the show in the next two weeks.
• 5:45
  Eric: Fuck no.
• 5:46
  Eric: Man, this kid.
• 5:46
  Eric: Oh man, I love it.
• 5:47
  Eric: The kid's gonna fucking hate it.
• 5:50
  Eric: When he opens that golden QR code when he goes to download.
• 5:55
  Matt: The golden RSS feed.
• 6:01
  Eric: That's old school podcasting right there, baby.
• 6:05
  Eric: Fucking he like they know they've won when they like they they get to the end of the podcast, and if they hear that dumb little flute sound, the that like fucking G Wild.
• 6:15
  Eric: Oh, they're really walking this.
• 6:16
  Eric: Yeah.
• 6:17
  Matt: That's how they know.
• 6:18
  Matt: But along the way, uh this does imply that we have to um murder uh five other children.
• 6:25
  Eric: Oh, several children.
• 6:27
  Matt: Yes, minimum five children.
• 6:28
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 6:29
  Eric: It's fine.
• 6:30
  Eric: We'll make them sign giant, you know, in no world legally binding contracts.
• 6:36
  Matt: Yeah, and it feels weird to do one of these in the cold open, but uh, we did do a question about Willy Wonka back in episode 21.
• 6:45
  Matt: The Candyman can.
• 6:46
  Eric: The can that was episode 21?
• 6:49
  Matt: That feels like a million years ago.
• 6:52
  Matt: It is because it's over half of the episodes ago.
• 6:56
  Matt: I thought that was like last month.
• 6:59
  Matt: No, no, Eric, it wasn't.
• 7:01
  Matt: But time for you works a little differently.
• 7:04
  Eric: Time is a flat penny from Six Flags.
• 7:07
  Matt: All right, so is that the so is that the plan?
• 7:09
  Matt: We're gonna golden ticket this, and someone will inherit this kingdom.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_11: Yup, episode 15.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_11: Let's murder some keys!
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: Let's kill those keys.
• 7:44
  Matt: The podcast answering life's least pressing questions.
• 7:48
  Matt: My name's Matt Shea.
• 7:50
  Matt: My name is Eric Poach.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: And this is the 50th episode.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: We've done it, Eric.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_02: Five-o! We did it!
• 8:02
  Matt: Five oh we've been here for about just about two years now of this here podcast.
• 8:14
  Matt: 50 episodes.
• 8:16
  Matt: I'll be honest.
• 8:17
  Matt: Back in episode four or five.
• 8:19
  Matt: I don't know if we were gonna get to 50.
• 8:21
  Matt: I mean, I I knew we would record them.
• 8:28
  Matt: I just didn't know if anyone would listen.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:32
  Matt: Touch and go there for a second.
• 8:34
  Matt: Oh, but you do listen.
• 8:35
  Matt: You do.
• 8:37
  Matt: We are so thankful to have you here with us, audience.
• 8:41
  Eric: You guys.
• 8:42
  Matt: You know, we've been saying for a little while now, Eric, that we uh we got something special planned.
• 8:48
  Matt: We got something very special, and we do indeed.
• 8:52
  Matt: Because I now you you feel free to disagree with me, Eric.
• 8:55
  Eric: Okay.
• 8:56
  Matt: I disagree.
• 8:56
  Matt: I okay.
• 8:58
  Matt: Uh I think that, you know, a big part of the show and its success has been the Y Daft giants that uh not only send in a lot of questions, but have also guested on this show.
• 9:16
  Eric: Oh, for sure.
• 9:18
  Eric: I mean, they do 90% of the work for us writing the show.
• 9:23
  Eric: A hundred percent they do.
• 9:25
  Eric: Yes.
• 9:25
  Matt: And granted, we just kind of shit-talked them about 30 seconds ago.
• 9:31
  Eric: Like, yeah, like brutally.
• 9:33
  Matt: Like just but that but that was for a bit.
• 9:36
  Eric: But it was for a bit, and they're our friends, and we love them.
• 9:40
  Matt: And they'd want us to commit to it.
• 9:42
  Matt: They they would want us to insult them, they expect us to jokingly insult them by telling them they're better than us.
• 9:51
  Eric: Grateful we're insulting.
• 9:52
  Eric: In fact, they should be thanking us more than they already are for insulting them.
• 9:57
  Matt: You're going too far the other direction.
• 9:59
  Eric: Okay, I love our friends.
• 10:01
  Eric: Thank you.
• 10:02
  Matt: They're great.
• 10:04
  Matt: And so, to celebrate the 50th episode, we wanted to incorporate all of the guests that have appeared on the show so far.
• 10:17
  Matt: And, you know, we put our heads together about how to do it.
• 10:20
  Eric: Oh, yeah, rubbed noggins, melded minds.
• 10:22
  Matt: And that's when we said, Eric, we said together, Eric, Eric, please, please pay attention, Eric.
• 10:30
  Matt: Eric, please focus.
• 10:31
  Matt: And both of us are holding our heads right now.
• 10:33
  Matt: I just have to point that out.
• 10:35
  Eric: Yeah, like like a parent on like PTA night, and we've just been informed that you're you're the serial pooper in the urinal.
• 10:43
  Matt: Like we all know there is a security camera.
• 10:47
  Matt: Uh it's Eric.
• 10:48
  Matt: Uh so I've already lost track of what the fuck we were doing.
• 10:54
  Eric: But we said, how do we how do we bring all of our guests together?
• 10:57
  Matt: Oh, yes, and then we collectively said, Eric.
• 10:59
  Matt: Eric, there is an issue on the table that needs to be settled that we said we needed help with.
• 11:09
  Eric: The the loosest of ends, the cliffest of hangers.
• 11:13
  Matt: You see, if you're if you if first of all, if this is your first you didn't ask for this, welcome.
• 11:19
  Matt: Just this is gonna be this is gonna be a whirlwind of past show references.
• 11:25
  Eric: And you know what, Matt, I'm just gonna throw this the fuck out there because I know when I start listening to Pog, like I just I don't go all the way back to episode one if I start on pad.
• 11:34
  Eric: I just find a good round number, like I don't know, 50.
• 11:37
  Eric: Nice.
• 11:37
  Eric: So if you're that person right now, I just want to say fucking good for you, dog.
• 11:41
  Eric: Enjoy the ride.
• 11:42
  Matt: And we're glad to have you.
• 11:43
  Eric: Come on in.
• 11:44
  Matt: The water is fine.
• 11:46
  Matt: The water is fine because what we're gonna do today, Eric, is settle what I think is the the season finale of Google Gripes.
• 12:01
  Matt: One of our what has become one of our most popular closing segments of the show is gonna be almost all of the show.
• 12:10
  Matt: Yeah.
• 12:11
  Matt: Because after three rounds, I think I think what we're saying is three rounds makes a season.
• 12:18
  Matt: Is that what we're deciding?
• 12:20
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:20
  Eric: That's that's how we we completely determine our seasons by by the arc of our closer.
• 12:26
  Matt: But the three, the thr.
• 12:29
  Matt: So we have three rounds of Google gripes.
• 12:31
  Matt: And and if you're new to the show, Google Gripes is uh the closing segment where we read actual one-star Google reviews of well-known places.
• 12:45
  Matt: And that's the criteria.
• 12:47
  Matt: That's all the criteria.
• 12:49
  Eric: And like I read the reviews to Matt, he tries to guess where the place is, vice versa.
• 12:54
  Eric: And we we started keeping score.
• 12:56
  Matt: We st we kept score.
• 12:58
  Matt: The uh round one took place over two episodes, each of them take place over two episodes.
• 13:04
  Matt: Those would be 32 and 34, round two was 36 and 38, and round three was 43 and 44, if you'd like to go back and listen to everything.
• 13:17
  Matt: But spoiler alert, after three rounds, Eric won around, I went around, and there was a draw.
• 13:27
  Eric: We're fucking tied fans.
• 13:30
  Matt: And we did the third round as uh what we thought would be a tiebreaker.
• 13:35
  Matt: Nope.
• 13:36
  Matt: So, no, after three rounds, we've had to have a runoff.
• 13:41
  Matt: Yep.
• 13:42
  Matt: And so we've got choice griping.
• 13:44
  Matt: What we have done is we have asked all of our very generous, funny, wonderful guests from the past episodes, uh, the first 50 episodes, 49 episodes, I suppose, to give us the Google gripes.
• 14:03
  Matt: And we will listen to them along with you for the first time.
• 14:07
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 14:07
  Matt: We have not heard them.
• 14:09
  Eric: We have not heard this shit.
• 14:10
  Matt: When we play these clips, it will be the first time that we are hearing them.
• 14:15
  Matt: We will guess fair and square uh about these locations.
• 14:20
  Matt: Each of them has sent us two reviews.
• 14:24
  Matt: We usually do three, two reviews of one location each.
• 14:29
  Eric: And all of the, and now you might be wondering, well, how do we how do we know like who the fuck?
• 14:34
  Eric: Like, did we have any duplicates?
• 14:36
  Eric: Lindsay was Matt's wife was kind enough to vet all of these recordings for us.
• 14:44
  Eric: Now a lesser man would say it's highly suspect that his competitor's wife is the one who listened to all the answers and all the, but I'm I, you know, I'm not going to accuse Matt of anything.
• 14:59
  Eric: And I certainly won't fall back on this fact if I lose.
• 15:03
  Matt: Wow.
• 15:04
  Matt: Wow.
• 15:04
  Matt: I thought you were gonna be giving a big shout out to Lindsay for.
• 15:08
  Eric: Oh no, Lindsay fucking rules.
• 15:12
  Eric: But like, y'all are mad in love.
• 15:16
  Eric: Like, I see you two.
• 15:17
  Eric: You do anything for each other.
• 15:19
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, but not not not cheat at this close.
• 15:25
  Eric: No, Lindsay, Lindsey, like Lindsay's sense of fair play is far too much.
• 15:29
  Matt: You think let's let's be realistic here for a second.
• 15:32
  Matt: You think Lindsay would let me cheat to win this game?
• 15:36
  Eric: Oh god, no.
• 15:38
  Eric: Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.
• 15:39
  Matt: She'd somehow call into this this Zoom call right now to yell at us, yell at me, and and just give you the default facto victory.
• 15:49
  Matt: And you think I was gonna let that happen?
• 15:51
  Matt: Fuck no.
• 15:51
  Matt: No, no, no, no.
• 15:52
  Matt: Uh, but yes, so a big thank you to former guest of the show, Lindsay, who we will hear from in just a minute, for collecting and vetting and organizing all of our esteemed guests.
• 16:05
  Eric: For doing the other 10% of the work that the rather our audio, our listeners, you know, our listeners do 90%.
• 16:12
  Eric: And then there was this 10% that we could have done that we usually do.
• 16:17
  Eric: But then Lindsay did it.
• 16:18
  Matt: But then Lindsay did it for us.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: And so before we uh before we get to them, Eric, though, Google Gripes is at its core a closing segment.
• 16:28
  Eric: It is a closing segment.
• 16:29
  Eric: We do need to answer a question.
• 16:30
  Matt: So we need to do at least one question.
• 16:34
  Eric: Just just get a question in there.
• 16:36
  Eric: It'd be really fucking wild if we did episode 50 and there were no questions.
• 16:40
  Matt: That's what I'm saying.
• 16:42
  Matt: And even more wild, Eric, is the idea that maybe we would have a trailer for this show that features a question that we have never done.
• 16:56
  Eric: If you've ever listened to our trailer or read the description, or the first sentence.
• 17:02
  Eric: There is a description.
• 17:03
  Eric: There is a question that is just thrown out as like an example of what we're all about, and we've never actually answered it.
• 17:13
  Matt: Actually done it.
• 17:14
  Matt: Yes.
• 17:15
  Matt: You you're probably already scrambling for the show description on your app and see that the first thing that defines you desire for this.
• 17:26
  Eric: We have been at this for almost for over two days worth of content.
• 17:32
  Matt: Yes, you and you, the listener, and we thought have been on this together for over two days of our lives.
• 17:40
  Matt: Much more for us, actually.
• 17:41
  Matt: Uh but and we have still not answered this question.
• 17:49
  Matt: Is cereal soup?
• 17:53
  Matt: Let's go.
• 17:54
  Matt: We are not here to pretend like it's a new question.
• 17:58
  Matt: No, goodness no, a tale as old as time, if you will.
• 18:02
  Eric: Soup as old as rhyme.
• 18:03
  Matt: Now, Eric, uh you know, we we settled on this question honestly, moments before we began this show.
• 18:11
  Eric: So literally two minutes before we got in here, we're like, we don't have a fucking question.
• 18:15
  Matt: So we have not done our regular prep, which is to say, I have not opened tabs on this, and you haven't even considered it.
• 18:25
  Matt: No, I'm feels over reels, dog.
• 18:27
  Matt: So, by all means, while I pull up a tab or two, what what do you define as soup?
• 18:35
  Matt: Perhaps we should start there.
• 18:37
  Eric: Let me let me let me be clear.
• 18:40
  Eric: If it is in a bowl and it is mostly liquid, uh-huh, and it is I wouldn't say impossible, but if it is impractical to eat with anything other than a spoon.
• 18:57
  Eric: I call it soup.
• 18:58
  Matt: Would you be interested in what Wikipedia says is the the opening definition of soup?
• 19:04
  Eric: The okay, hit me with it.
• 19:06
  Matt: Soup is a primarily liquid food.
• 19:10
  Matt: Fucking nailed it.
• 19:11
  Matt: Generally served warm or hot, but may be cool or cold.
• 19:16
  Matt: Fuck yeah.
• 19:16
  Matt: So that's just everything.
• 19:18
  Eric: That that encapsulates all things.
• 19:20
  Eric: That's just that's just all the options other than frozen and lava, I guess.
• 19:27
  Eric: Okay, yep, yep.
• 19:28
  Eric: And like unless we're dealing with shit that's like in a state of quantum quantum uncertainty.
• 19:34
  Matt: That is made by combining ingredients of meat or vegetables with stock, milk, or water.
• 19:43
  Matt: Milk you say, Vegetables, you say.
• 19:48
  Matt: And here's what what I was prepared to say.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: Corn pops, you say!
• 19:53
  Matt: What I was prepared to say right off the bat was like, ah, but cereal, on the other hand, doesn't contain a vegetable, but yes, yes, indeed it does.
• 20:03
  Matt: And what is indeed uh uh what is bran, actually.
• 20:10
  Eric: It's a word I've heard my entire life.
• 20:13
  Eric: I assume it's I like the bran cereals.
• 20:16
  Eric: I assume bran is like a sort of barley-esque.
• 20:21
  Eric: I imagine it's grown exclusively by leathery-skinned old, old, old people.
• 20:28
  Matt: Yes, who look at you with disappointed eyes.
• 20:31
  Eric: Oh yeah, oh yeah, like they like Dust Bowl era farmers.
• 20:35
  Eric: Yes.
• 20:35
  Eric: Like it's the only thing that could survive.
• 20:38
  Matt: Well, bran, also known as Miller's bran, is the hard outer layers of cereal grain, according to Wikipedia.
• 20:47
  Matt: It consists of the combined uh Al Allerone and Pericarp.
• 20:56
  Eric: Okay.
• 20:56
  Eric: Oh, yeah, the Allerone and the Pericarp.
• 20:59
  Matt: Horn bran also includes the pedisil, the tip cap.
• 21:05
  Eric: Oh, okay.
• 21:06
  Eric: Oh, this is just the tip.
• 21:07
  Eric: So it's just the tip.
• 21:09
  Eric: It's just the tip.
• 21:11
  Eric: Dead dead grain skin and ch and and just the tips?
• 21:16
  Matt: It does seem like we're eating just the tips.
• 21:18
  Matt: Bran is present in cereal grain, including rice, corn, wheat, oats, barley, rye, and millet.
• 21:26
  Eric: Uh, love me some fucking millet.
• 21:28
  Matt: Bran is not the same as chaff.
• 21:29
  Matt: I'm like a bird.
• 21:31
  Matt: Which is a coarser, scaly material surrounding the grain, but not forming part of the grain itself, and which is indigestible by humans.
• 21:40
  Matt: That's us.
• 21:41
  Eric: So like everything about bran seems to be like, hey, so nature was like, you probably shouldn't eat this.
• 21:51
  Eric: Yeah.
• 21:52
  Eric: But we did it anyway.
• 21:54
  Matt: But would are so our grains like wheat and these other grains that I just like uh Are these not vegetables?
• 22:03
  Matt: Is it technically something something is it technically grain?
• 22:06
  Matt: I I guess it's grain.
• 22:08
  Matt: Like bread and grain.
• 22:10
  Matt: That's the other that's the big one on the triangle.
• 22:13
  Matt: I haven't checked out the triangle in a long time.
• 22:15
  Eric: This is where I I I I I come in with the corn pops contingency, right?
• 22:20
  Eric: Like corn.
• 22:21
  Eric: Corn is a vegetable.
• 22:22
  Eric: I mean, you're right about that.
• 22:24
  Eric: I don't think you're saying that a corn pops is a soup.
• 22:28
  Eric: Corn pops is soup 100%.
• 22:30
  Eric: I guess it'd be like a bullshit.
• 22:32
  Eric: Oh, it's or a chow a cold chowder.
• 22:35
  Eric: Oh, a cold chowder.
• 22:37
  Eric: Ew.
• 22:38
  Eric: Yeah.
• 22:38
  Eric: I didn't say it had to be good too.
• 22:40
  Eric: And that's the thing.
• 22:41
  Eric: People misrepresent me so much on this this position, because I've held this position for years.
• 22:45
  Eric: I thought you were gonna say on this podcast.
• 22:47
  Eric: This question was one that was like fucking posed to me years ago when I at like 4 a.m.
• 22:53
  Eric: when I was working night shifts, and like we would discuss this shit.
• 22:57
  Eric: And like everyone's like, oh, you think cereal soup, but that's I'm like, bro, I didn't I didn't say it had to be good soup, but it's still soup.
• 23:04
  Matt: Okay, well, here's what I got here.
• 23:06
  Matt: I've pulled up the most common food groups, okay?
• 23:09
  Matt: Okay.
• 23:09
  Matt: Uh, from the Wikipedia food group page.
• 23:13
  Matt: Dairy, fruits, meat, confections, also called sugary foods, vegetables, and I gotta be honest, this next one I've never heard included in any pyramid, water.
• 23:27
  Eric: Huh.
• 23:28
  Matt: So I would not say that's a food of any kind, and that's wrong.
• 23:32
  Matt: And then the last one is cereals and legumes.
• 23:38
  Matt: Sometimes categorized as grains.
• 23:41
  Matt: So I was right.
• 23:42
  Matt: I did have a vague recollection of the elementary school food pyramid.
• 23:45
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 23:46
  Eric: Also pyramid.
• 23:48
  Eric: It says so much of us about it as a society when we were like, all right, we have to develop the food.
• 23:52
  Eric: This is the basis of what human beings need to live and thrive and be healthy.
• 23:58
  Eric: Well, bread first, baby.
• 24:00
  Eric: Bread first and make sure there's candy in this bitch.
• 24:03
  Matt: Make sure it's all the bottom, is all bread.
• 24:05
  Matt: Put some sugar on top.
• 24:07
  Matt: That what's what what should we put in the middle?
• 24:12
  Eric: Ah, meat, vegetables.
• 24:14
  Eric: Holy shit.
• 24:14
  Eric: It's a the food, the food pyramid of our youth was essentially like if you conceptually, it was a dessert pizza.
• 24:23
  Eric: Yes.
• 24:24
  Eric: It had the dough on it had the crust on bottom, the meats and veggies and sauces, and then they're like, and also let's pour some maple syrup on this bitch.
• 24:33
  Matt: Yes, I think you're right.
• 24:34
  Matt: The food pyramid is a dessert pizza.
• 24:37
  Eric: Okay.
• 24:38
  Matt: But we're not here to talk about the pyramid as a whole.
• 24:41
  Matt: We're just here to talk about soup and cereal.
• 24:44
  Eric: Specifically the soup that is cereal.
• 24:46
  Matt: And it does, is it is a vice versa situation.
• 24:49
  Matt: If you're gonna ask if cereal is soup, then is soup cereal?
• 24:55
  Matt: I would say no.
• 24:56
  Eric: Interesting.
• 24:57
  Eric: Why?
• 24:58
  Eric: Tell me.
• 24:58
  Eric: Um, for me, for something to be a cereal, and mind you, this is purely subjective and therefore correct.
• 25:05
  Eric: For it to be a cereal, there has to be the act of the cereal going into the bowl.
• 25:11
  Eric: Yes.
• 25:12
  Eric: And then the liquid being poured atop it.
• 25:15
  Eric: For soup, that stuff's all combined in the pot, right?
• 25:19
  Matt: You might be onto something here, Eric, but it might be proving the opposite of your point.
• 25:24
  Eric: Well, no.
• 25:25
  Eric: Well, for cereal being soup, the cereal bowl that is my pot, and I'm just pouring my ingredients.
• 25:31
  Eric: And and I will be clear, cereal.
• 25:34
  Eric: Now stay with me on this mind journey.
• 25:35
  Eric: I'm here.
• 25:36
  Eric: Cereal, and this is what's so beautiful about this.
• 25:39
  Eric: Cereal isn't soup the second you make it.
• 25:42
  Eric: Interesting.
• 25:43
  Eric: At that point, it's still cereal, but over time, it begins to marinate.
• 25:49
  Eric: It begins to it begins to do what I call a cold stew.
• 25:54
  Eric: Yeah.
• 25:55
  Eric: It begins to break down and like all the constituent parts begin to like swirl about.
• 26:01
  Matt: I think the word you're looking for is dissolve.
• 26:04
  Eric: That one.
• 26:05
  Eric: And that's when it becomes soup.
• 26:14
  Matt: Yes.
• 26:15
  Matt: Okay.
• 26:16
  Matt: So you so it's not when you pour the lucky charms into the milk.
• 26:21
  Matt: It's when the milk turns that pinkish color of the sun.
• 26:26
  Matt: Of all the colors of the rainbow being absorbed.
• 26:30
  Matt: Yes.
• 26:31
  Matt: That gray water that sometimes sugary cow juice.
• 26:35
  Matt: Yes.
• 26:36
  Matt: With like a hint of a cookie crisp here and there at the end.
• 26:39
  Eric: Oh.
• 26:40
  Matt: Yes.
• 26:41
  Eric: And that film.
• 26:42
  Eric: You know what I'm talking about?
• 26:43
  Matt: Little film, yes, yes, of course.
• 26:45
  Matt: When you get that cereal dust.
• 26:47
  Eric: Oh, but oh, oh, dog.
• 26:49
  Eric: But now, okay, follow me further, Matt.
• 26:52
  Eric: Take my hand.
• 26:53
  Matt: I've gotcha.
• 26:54
  Matt: I got a lantern in this one.
• 26:55
  Eric: Cereal is soup.
• 26:56
  Eric: Soup is not automatically cereal.
• 26:58
  Eric: However, ramen.
• 27:01
  Eric: Ramen.
• 27:02
  Eric: The traditional preparation of ramen is the noodles go into the bowl.
• 27:07
  Eric: Yes.
• 27:08
  Eric: And then the broth is poured on top of that shit like cereal.
• 27:14
  Matt: Ramen is cereal.
• 27:16
  Matt: Interesting.
• 27:17
  Matt: I think you're right about that.
• 27:19
  Matt: If if by your definition, if you're putting the thick because you're right, in general, the components of and there's also more components to a cereal.
• 27:31
  Matt: I mean to a soup.
• 27:32
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 27:33
  Matt: Right?
• 27:34
  Matt: Like a soup is generally not just two ingredients.
• 27:40
  Matt: Water and or and one other thing.
• 27:44
  Matt: Generally speaking.
• 27:46
  Eric: Yeah, not unless you make dog shit soup.
• 27:48
  Matt: Not unless you make dog shit soup.
• 27:50
  Matt: I mean, even if you're just making a broth or a stock, you gotta put some spices in there and a bone.
• 27:58
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 27:59
  Matt: Throw them a fucking bone.
• 28:01
  Matt: Throw them a bone.
• 28:02
  Matt: And like with soup, you're starting with most of the time it's two steps.
• 28:08
  Matt: The dry cereal and then the milk.
• 28:10
  Eric: Yeah.
• 28:11
  Eric: And that's it, baby.
• 28:13
  Eric: That's it.
• 28:13
  Eric: Now your salts and your sugars and your spices and your fucking your flavorings, they've all kind of been pre-added.
• 28:19
  Eric: Any cereal is just very convenient soup.
• 28:22
  Eric: Because like it's all it's all just right there in the puffs, right?
• 28:27
  Eric: And and then it all breaks down into the milk.
• 28:30
  Eric: Dissolve.
• 28:30
  Eric: Because you can that's a word.
• 28:32
  Matt: Here's another thing recently.
• 28:33
  Matt: Here's another point that neither of us have gotten to.
• 28:35
  Matt: You can just eat cereal.
• 28:38
  Matt: You can just pull that box out and eat it.
• 28:40
  Eric: You can.
• 28:40
  Eric: I can eat that shit by the fistful.
• 28:42
  Matt: And you would say you're eating cereal.
• 28:44
  Eric: I would be, I am eating a cereal, yes.
• 28:47
  Matt: But you could not open a dry can of Campbell's and eat that nastiness by itself.
• 28:55
  Matt: I mean Campbell's.
• 28:57
  Matt: You can.
• 28:58
  Matt: You can.
• 28:59
  Eric: You'll probably like tetanus.
• 29:01
  Matt: And you can't say, you can't walk down the street with an open can of Campbell's New England clam chowder.
• 29:11
  Matt: Just jugging it.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_11: Just scooping it into your hand.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_11: Slamming it back.
• 29:16
  Matt: Scooping it into your hand and saying, oh yeah, I'm just having some soup.
• 29:21
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 29:22
  Eric: Oh, here, I learned.
• 29:23
  Eric: Mmm.
• 29:23
  Eric: Mmm.
• 29:24
  Eric: Mmm.
• 29:25
  Matt: Mmm.
• 29:26
  Eric: That was a good soup.
• 29:28
  Matt: Yeah, but you but the sound, even in trying to do that sound, you made liquid noises.
• 29:33
  Eric: Yeah.
• 29:36
  Matt: I'm talking about a slush.
• 29:38
  Eric: Well, at that point that's going into your at that point, yeah.
• 29:40
  Eric: Is raw soup a milkshake?
• 29:42
  Matt: No, because there's no milk in it yet.
• 29:44
  Eric: Well, if you get the clam chowder.
• 29:48
  Matt: You still add the milk to the Campbell's clam chowder.
• 29:51
  Matt: It's not in there originally.
• 29:52
  Eric: Oh, oh, so you mean like the literal, like a just a fucking can of course.
• 29:57
  Matt: I'm not talking about I'm not talking Campbell's to go.
• 30:01
  Matt: I'm talking about opening up a uh uh forget forget clam chowder.
• 30:05
  Matt: You open up a Campbell's chicken noodle soup.
• 30:09
  Eric: Yeah.
• 30:10
  Matt: Okay.
• 30:11
  Matt: And you just eat those noodles and little gray chicken bits by themselves.
• 30:18
  Eric: Okay, so yeah, there's no world in which they sell us just here's your can of dry noodles and chicken bits.
• 30:25
  Eric: That's what I'm saying.
• 30:26
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 30:27
  Eric: Okay, I I've I've I'm I'm hip to it now.
• 30:30
  Matt: I'm becoming concerned you've never made a can of Campbell's soup before.
• 30:33
  Eric: No, I was concerned because like, Matt, did you what soup have you been getting where there's not already liquid in the can?
• 30:40
  Eric: Campbell's Campbell's.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it it has Oh, it's condensed.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you're talking about condensed soup?
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: What Campbell's D is non-condensed, but but it's still a liquid.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, yes, but it's not a soup liquid.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, it's more like jello.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's like that's what I said, like a slush.
• 31:00
  Eric: Okay.
• 31:01
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 31:02
  Eric: Like a like, all right.
• 31:03
  Eric: Yeah, okay.
• 31:04
  Matt: I like that we're both peering at each other questionably, right now.
• 31:07
  Matt: We're both looking at each other like we're fucking insane.
• 31:10
  Matt: Fucking insane people.
• 31:11
  Matt: And that's the dyno that honestly, that's the sweet spot for this show.
• 31:16
  Matt: That's the sweet spot for this whole show to live at.
• 31:18
  Eric: Both of us being very skeptical, baffled by each other's existence of the other one.
• 31:25
  Matt: Um, yes.
• 31:26
  Matt: So have we gotten anywhere with this?
• 31:29
  Eric: Well, yeah, cereal is soup, ramen is cereal, uh, soup isn't automatically cereal.
• 31:36
  Matt: But why are you so def like have I'm not sure we've officially defined that cereal is soup.
• 31:42
  Eric: Oh, Matt, I'm and this is something you just have to like.
• 31:46
  Eric: This is my if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.
• 31:50
  Eric: Um You can throw that out if you don't have any kind of argument.
• 31:54
  Eric: I'm asking you to define your argument.
• 31:55
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 31:56
  Eric: Uh like well, what I'm getting at is Matthew, when it comes I am a food anarchist, Matthew.
• 32:02
  Eric: Let me uh Matt, I'm just gonna throw, I'm just gonna throw the line out there.
• 32:07
  Eric: You want to know where my line is?
• 32:09
  Eric: Okay.
• 32:10
  Eric: Where?
• 32:10
  Eric: Right?
• 32:11
  Eric: Poptart's ravioli.
• 32:13
  Eric: Excuse me?
• 32:14
  Eric: Pop tart is ravioli.
• 32:16
  Eric: I'm so I'm sorry, what?
• 32:17
  Eric: I'm sorry, Matt.
• 32:19
  Eric: A Pop Tart is a ravioli.
• 32:22
  Matt: Are you out of your fucking mind?
• 32:24
  Matt: Matt.
• 32:24
  Matt: How how this is explain.
• 32:26
  Eric: Explain.
• 32:27
  Eric: Matt, explain.
• 32:28
  Eric: Matt, describe to me a ravioli.
• 32:30
  Matt: Uh it's it's a filled pasta, basically.
• 32:34
  Eric: It is a so there's like a dough-like shell that is filled uh with I and and like and and I don't know about you, I don't know if you've been on the food scene, but like doesn't have to be purely savory.
• 32:46
  Matt: I've had sweet potato ravioli, I've had fig ravioli, but pasta dough is decidedly different.
• 32:54
  Matt: Is it the yes?
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_11: Is it okay?
• 32:58
  Matt: So is a PBJ ravioli?
• 33:02
  Eric: No, no, no, no, no, no.
• 33:03
  Eric: Well, Eric, I don't understand that's but an uncrustable is an uncrustable 100% is a ravioli.
• 33:10
  Matt: Because it's enclosed?
• 33:11
  Eric: Yeah, because it's like they do the fucking sting, they stamp it closed, they stamp it the fuck closed.
• 33:17
  Eric: That's really all my only like criterion for ravioli is have you sealed filling and dough and then did the little crimp.
• 33:25
  Matt: I can maybe give you uncrustables because uncrustables are still soft.
• 33:32
  Matt: Pop-tarts are hard.
• 33:34
  Matt: You'll give me uncrustables, but you won't give me Pop Tart.
• 33:37
  Matt: Yeah, because one makes objectively a lot more sense.
• 33:41
  Matt: A ravioli is a soft object with a soft inside.
• 33:46
  Matt: Whereas, no, no, I'm sorry.
• 33:48
  Matt: Okay, I'm sorry.
• 33:49
  Matt: Uncrustable is a soft uh uh dough enclosure, as you said, stamp shut.
• 33:56
  Matt: And yes, it's true that there is stamp markings on the side of Pop Tarts, but you were talking about a hard dough, a cracker, basically, around the outside.
• 34:08
  Eric: Matt, but like, hear me out though.
• 34:11
  Eric: So to cook a ravioli, right, to serve it, right?
• 34:14
  Eric: You have your ravioli in its packaging.
• 34:17
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 34:17
  Matt: Where do you go with this?
• 34:18
  Matt: You're gonna disprove yourself real fast.
• 34:20
  Matt: Because if you tell me you boil Pop Tarts, I'm gonna walk out of this podcast.
• 34:24
  Eric: Well, I'm saying, all I'm saying, Matt, I just want to say to cook a ravioli, you take it out of the packaging, you heat it in water, right?
• 34:33
  Eric: In liquid, you let it cook.
• 34:35
  Eric: Or and let actually let's just stick with that.
• 34:37
  Eric: You heat it, you let it, you let it heat.
• 34:39
  Eric: Okay.
• 34:40
  Eric: I don't I think I think no Matt, this is gonna be great.
• 34:43
  Eric: I'm gonna slam dunk this shit.
• 34:44
  Eric: Matt, uncrustable, right?
• 34:48
  Eric: They they they come frozen.
• 34:50
  Eric: They come frozen.
• 34:52
  Eric: And you don't put them in boiling water, you don't, but they do have to be removed, and they do have to be heated, they have to be thawed, they have to be warmed, and Matt, all I'm saying is that a Pop Tart is a ravioli that no one has had the fucking courage to cook.
• 35:15
  Matt: Eric, what raviolis do get cooked.
• 35:20
  Matt: If you just ate a raw ravioli, it'd be gross as shit.
• 35:27
  Matt: And the way you cook, even if you you put them in a microwave, you gotta have them in water of some kind, or they won't cook if you've got a raw ravioli.
• 35:38
  Matt: If you've got a frozen uh uh uh uh uncrustable, which granted you're right, you do have to defrost it, and then you can eat it.
• 35:51
  Matt: It's still the fact of the matter is with a Pop-Tart, you can eat it as it comes, raw, if you will, or you put it in a fucking toaster.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_02: You sure as shit don't put it into boiling water.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_02: And either way, start and finish.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_02: A Pop-Tart is hard, and then if you cook a Pop-Tart, it only gets harder.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_02: Whereas a ravioli starts soft and ends soft.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: Are you out of your fucking mind with this?
• 36:18
  Eric: You ever boil Pop Tart?
• 36:20
  Eric: This isn't even the question.
• 36:21
  Eric: You ever boil Pop Tart?
• 36:22
  Eric: No, but you but Oh god, you're a family guy song.
• 36:28
  Eric: Yep.
• 36:30
  Eric: I know one person on a Pop Tart is not gonna go fucking good.
• 36:34
  Eric: I am I'm not gonna call them out, but there is one person listening to this this this episode right now, or or she's gonna listen to it at some point, who is just like punching the air because she's like just going, Yes, buttered Pop Tarts, but I'm not gonna I'm not gonna call them out.
• 36:48
  Matt: I mean, I don't I want to be clear, I don't, as a rule, butter my Pop-Tarts.
• 36:52
  Matt: The Family Guy song made me want to try it, and then I did.
• 36:55
  Matt: I dated someone in high school who buttered their Pop Tarts.
• 36:57
  Matt: They're fine.
• 36:58
  Matt: Yeah, they're fine.
• 36:59
  Eric: Yeah, fine.
• 36:59
  Eric: It's fine.
• 37:00
  Eric: They're fine.
• 37:01
  Eric: I mean, it it's it's had it's good.
• 37:04
  Eric: It's not mind-blowing.
• 37:05
  Eric: Matt, have you had the courage to fucking boil a Pop-Tart?
• 37:09
  Eric: The courage or the foolishness?
• 37:12
  Matt: Have you?
• 37:14
  Matt: Eric, you obviously know the answer is no.
• 37:16
  Matt: So have you have you boiled a Pop Tart?
• 37:19
  Matt: No, but it would.
• 37:20
  Matt: Because if you boil a Pop-Tart, Eric, you know what you're gonna get?
• 37:23
  Matt: How the fuck do you know, Matt?
• 37:24
  Matt: If you boil a Pop-Tart, it's going to break down as opposed to a a ravioli, which will only be.
• 37:33
  Eric: Matt, you know what I'm hearing right now?
• 37:34
  Eric: All I'm hearing is, yeah, do you know what'll happen if you go to the moon?
• 37:38
  Eric: You'll just die because it's made of cheese.
• 37:41
  Eric: You don't know, Matt.
• 37:42
  Eric: You haven't seen over the event horizon that is boiling a Pop Tart.
• 37:47
  Matt: It is not made of cheese.
• 37:49
  Matt: Okay.
• 37:49
  Matt: This is where I don't know where I have lost you along the way.
• 37:56
  Matt: But you have been overtaken by when it comes to food.
• 37:59
  Eric: I'm a fucking sack.
• 38:01
  Matt: Like I drop a Pop Tart into boiling water as if you were to do it.
• 38:09
  Matt: With a ravioli, what's gonna happen is it's gonna get soggy, and then it's going to wait for it, dissolve.
• 38:17
  Eric: You just keep saying that word as if I know what it means.
• 38:21
  Matt: It's going to dissolve, it's going to break apart, and then you don't have a Pop Tart anymore, my friend.
• 38:27
  Matt: You have soup.
• 38:30
  Eric: I rest my case.
• 38:32
  Eric: So you're saying so your case is a Pop Tart soup?
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_02: I just watched a man unravel.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_02: This was supposed to be a quick question.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_02: Because we have to have we have all this time for all these clips.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_02: We're supposed to knock this shit out.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_02: And instead, here we are talking about Pop Tars when the question is, is cereal soup?
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_02: And what is your definitive argument about cereal and soup?
• 38:57
  Eric: America, baby.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, no.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_02: What is your case?
• 39:00
  Eric: I'm just asking for you to summarize, and instead you're giving me these witticisms and and and cryp crypto puzzles for me to decode.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay.
• 39:19
  Matt: I just again, I never necessarily was campaigning that you were wrong.
• 39:24
  Matt: I just thought we needed a little bit more.
• 39:26
  Matt: And instead, here you go.
• 39:27
  Matt: Let's boil a Pop Tart.
• 39:29
  Matt: Let's boil a fucking Pop Tart.
• 39:30
  Matt: Because the Pop Tart's ravioli, which it's fucking not.
• 39:33
  unknown: Okay.
• 39:34
  Matt: All right.
• 39:34
  Eric: Well, I'm I believe that that's that's what you believe.
• 39:37
  Matt: I'm fucking mad now, I'll tell you that.
• 39:39
  Matt: All right.
• 39:39
  Matt: You are you all right.
• 39:40
  Matt: I'll say this.
• 39:41
  Matt: You have convinced me that cereal is soup.
• 39:44
  Matt: Hell yeah.
• 39:45
  Matt: But you have not convinced me that Pop Tart is super.
• 39:47
  Eric: I will make it my mission.
• 39:48
  Eric: You will be getting very alarm, you'll be getting very alarming uh videos at like 6 a.m.
• 39:55
  Eric: one night.
• 39:56
  Matt: No, you've already failed.
• 39:57
  Matt: No.
• 39:58
  Matt: If you do this, Eric, if you do this little experiment, by all means, put we can put it on the Instagram.
• 40:03
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 40:03
  Matt: And and the proof of my pudding will be there.
• 40:06
  Eric: And and may happen.
• 40:08
  Eric: And let me be clear.
• 40:08
  Matt: If a boil, if you boil Pop Dart, it will not be pudding.
• 40:11
  Matt: It will be super cereal.
• 40:13
  Eric: Okay.
• 40:14
  Matt: But it won't be pudding.
• 40:15
  Matt: Okay.
• 40:16
  Matt: Pudding's gotta be thick.
• 40:17
  Matt: Pudding gotta be thick, though.
• 40:19
  Matt: If you boil, if you boil it in a thin layer of milk, maybe.
• 40:23
  Eric: May have then it will become pudding.
• 40:26
  Eric: I'm gonna, man.
• 40:27
  Eric: Yeah, you're gonna look so fucking dumb when I boil these Pop Tarts.
• 40:32
  Eric: I I'm gonna look dumb.
• 40:34
  Eric: You idiot.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, alright, sure.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_02: Sure I will.
• 40:40
  Matt: Eric, should we move on to what the main part of this podcast episode was?
• 40:47
  Eric: Yeah, we should probably get on to the subject.
• 40:49
  Matt: Alright, so then, Eric, without further ado, now that we've settled the cereal soup debacle, shall we welcome, in a sense, our guests back to the program?
• 41:04
  Eric: Yes.
• 41:05
  Matt: Now, I think Eric it's only appropriate that we go through these Google gripes in the order that these guests joined us.
• 41:14
  Eric: This is as Andy would say, fit and proper.
• 41:18
  Matt: Fit and proper.
• 41:20
  Matt: So that means we are starting with our very first guest back from episode 15, Paul Diem.
• 41:27
  Eric: Paul E D.
• 41:29
  Matt: I I know we already did the uh the intro of what Google Gripes is, but for anyone new, what we're doing here, Eric, we've got we've got a clip of them reading us two reviews.
• 41:40
  Matt: I think we listen to the whole clip and then we take our we make our guesses together.
• 41:45
  Eric: Yep.
• 41:46
  Matt: Do we do so?
• 41:47
  Matt: But I think we let their whole thing play before we offer a guess.
• 41:52
  Eric: Oh, oh yeah.
• 41:52
  Eric: Oh, absolutely.
• 41:53
  Matt: Yeah, I'm I'm having a conversation with you.
• 41:55
  Eric: Oh, 100%.
• 41:56
  Eric: Sorry, it's just Matt, everything you're saying right now is so fucking agreeable to me.
• 42:00
  Eric: Oh, okay.
• 42:00
  Eric: And that's like very jarring from our previous conversation where like it was just like where you were so wrong most of it.
• 42:06
  Matt: Um so yeah, that I understand how that would jar you.
• 42:09
  Matt: Anyway, we just should I go ahead and play Paul's clip.
• 42:12
  Eric: Okay.
• 42:13
  Matt: All right, here we go.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_05: Angry face emoji.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_05: Dismal is the definition for this once famous restaurant landmark.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_05: The food is of a far less quality than any Italian chain like Olive Garden.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_05: Way overpriced for mostly frozen packaged food taste.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_05: Service is made up of low-class individuals who resent being waiters.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_05: The management is non-existent or incompetent.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_05: The portions for this cheap-tasting food are tiny.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_05: It's just a big dump.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_05: Horrible bartending upstairs.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_05: Not sure they actually knew how to make a drink.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_05: Asked for a replacement for a Moscow muke, and it never came.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_05: Ordered some soup, and it tasted like bath water.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_05: Like serious.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_05: Disgusting.
• 43:05
  Matt: Okay, that's interesting.
• 43:07
  Matt: Now, Eric, sometimes we do play them again.
• 43:10
  Matt: Do we do that or do we do a one-shot in these playoffs?
• 43:14
  unknown: Oh.
• 43:17
  Matt: I think we do a one-shot.
• 43:18
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 43:19
  Matt: No, I agree.
• 43:20
  Matt: I think one and done, and uh, hmm, I am between two guesses.
• 43:25
  Matt: I I thought I knew it after the first one, but the second one had a key phrase in there that I'm a little hesitant to even highlight for you.
• 43:35
  Matt: Okay.
• 43:37
  Matt: Okay.
• 43:37
  Matt: Actually, I now have three guesses.
• 43:40
  Eric: You now have three guesses.
• 43:42
  Matt: The third guess that I have thought of is not what obviously is not one of the first two, but I think it's the one I'm gonna go with.
• 43:53
  Eric: I I am ready to make a guess.
• 43:55
  Matt: Okay, so here's what I think we should do for our sake.
• 43:58
  Matt: We'll For fairness.
• 44:01
  Matt: Because you know, you could say something and then I go, Oh, that's a good idea.
• 44:04
  Matt: And I agree.
• 44:04
  Matt: So I think we lock in our guesses by writing them down first.
• 44:08
  Eric: Yes.
• 44:09
  Matt: And then we will speak them aloud.
• 44:11
  Matt: And that way we can't change.
• 44:12
  Eric: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 44:13
  Matt: Okay.
• 44:14
  Eric: Okay, hold on one second.
• 44:15
  Eric: Let me just make sure I'm absolutely confident in this.
• 44:18
  Matt: I am changing my answer from what I thought I was going to submit.
• 44:23
  Eric: Okay.
• 44:24
  Eric: Um, give me one moment.
• 44:26
  Eric: God, so much is fucking writing on this.
• 44:28
  Eric: Yeah, you know what?
• 44:29
  Eric: I'm gonna go with this.
• 44:30
  Eric: I'm gonna follow my gut.
• 44:31
  Eric: I'm gonna follow my spirit, Matthew.
• 44:33
  Eric: I've got my uh yep.
• 44:34
  Eric: You tell me when you're ready to submit them.
• 44:36
  Eric: I am ready.
• 44:38
  Eric: What is your guess, Eric?
• 44:39
  Eric: My guess is the brown derby.
• 44:42
  Matt: The brown derby?
• 44:43
  Matt: Where is the brown derby?
• 44:44
  Eric: Uh it was a famous restaurant in Hollywood.
• 44:48
  Eric: Okay.
• 44:49
  Eric: Yeah, uh uh or or sorry, yeah.
• 44:51
  Eric: It was it was like uh it was it was like a famous chain of restaurants.
• 44:55
  Matt: It like like Well, I will say that was not my guess.
• 44:58
  Eric: Oh, what was your guess?
• 45:00
  Matt: My guess is Sardi's.
• 45:03
  Matt: Sardies?
• 45:04
  Matt: Illustrious Broadway staple.
• 45:06
  Eric: Yep, yep, that was one of man.
• 45:08
  Eric: I get the feel okay, yeah.
• 45:10
  Matt: I had some other guesses too.
• 45:12
  Matt: Uh I I I wrote down a couple brainstorms as we were listening to Paul.
• 45:16
  Matt: Okay.
• 45:17
  Matt: Uh, but I ruled them out, and I'll be upset if they are if they are uh one of the ones.
• 45:22
  Matt: Are you are we ready for a reveal?
• 45:24
  Eric: We are ready for a reveal, baby.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_05: All right, here we go.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_05: And the location is the world-famous theatrical landmark Sardes on 44th Street in New York City.
• 45:35
  Eric: Well done.
• 45:36
  Eric: Yep, yep.
• 45:37
  Matt: I'll tell you what gave it away for me.
• 45:38
  Matt: Yep.
• 45:39
  Matt: The because originally I was thinking Cats Deli.
• 45:44
  Matt: Okay.
• 45:46
  Matt: And then in the second get in the second review, he said the bar upstairs.
• 45:53
  Matt: Cats is a one-story establishment.
• 45:55
  Matt: And the other thing I was thinking of was Cheers, which is famously the lower level.
• 46:01
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 46:02
  Eric: Cheers, Padma.
• 46:03
  Eric: I also wondered, I was trying to remember the name of the diner from Seinfeld, but I was like, they wouldn't have an upstairs.
• 46:09
  Eric: So one point for you, sir.
• 46:11
  Eric: The score so far, one and we have seven guests.
• 46:16
  Eric: So, like, unless we it's gonna be real hard to get a fucking tie on this one.
• 46:20
  Matt: There is a there is the potential for a tie.
• 46:23
  Matt: Okay, but it would involve, I think, us giving the same correct answer.
• 46:28
  Matt: It's true, or all wrong answers except for like one apiece.
• 46:31
  Matt: That's also a possibility.
• 46:33
  Matt: But hopefully, I our logic was with seven guests, hopefully, it can be avoided.
• 46:38
  Matt: Anyway, are we Eric?
• 46:40
  Matt: Are we ready to welcome our next guests, Sarah and Carissa?
• 46:44
  Matt: Sarah Feldman and Chrissa Hatfield.
• 46:47
  Eric: Power couple of the century.
• 46:49
  Matt: Yes, please.
• 46:49
  Matt: Power couple of the show, truly.
• 46:51
  Matt: Uh so um, all right, here we go.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_08: Hey Matt and Eric, Carissa, and Sarah here.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_08: Congratulations on 50 episodes.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_08: Whoa.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_08: Oh, that's cute.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_08: Here are your clues, and may the odds be ever in your favor.
• 47:05
  Eric: And also with you.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_08: Clue number one.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_08: This is the center of power of blank, but you don't get to go near those buildings.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_08: Instead, what you get are a few small churches and other buildings.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_08: Most disappointing of all is that there's no online print at home tickets.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_08: Instead, there's a silly system of two cues.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_08: One to buy the ticket, then another one to enter.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_08: The number of lines seem to increase when there are groups who are allowed to overtake individuals.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_08: Isn't this cue jumping?
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_08: Under the present arrangement, it is better to go in low season or in the afternoon.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_08: Note there is no shelter when you are cueing.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_07: Clue number two.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_07: I was very disappointed with the rudeness of the guard at the entrance of the armory.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_07: He did not want to even look at me.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_07: At the end, I just took my wife and left.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_07: He did not want her to leave and ignored me.
• 48:11
  Matt: Eric, I think I I think right off the bat, maybe I'm shooting from the hip, but I think I have my guess.
• 48:17
  Matt: I think I'm doing the same thing.
• 48:19
  Matt: I wrote down a couple of options and then immediately shifted to one that I feel very good about.
• 48:24
  Eric: Yeah.
• 48:25
  Matt: Okay, so Eric, what is your guess?
• 48:27
  Matt: The Vatican.
• 48:28
  Matt: The Vatican?
• 48:29
  Matt: The Vatican.
• 48:30
  Matt: I I thought about the Vatican, but I didn't go with it.
• 48:32
  Matt: What I ended up going with is Buckingham Palace.
• 48:36
  Eric: It was the center of power thing that threw me off.
• 48:38
  Eric: Like, I'm like, that could that there's I'm like Versailles, Buckingham, the Vatican.
• 48:44
  Matt: I thought about those different things.
• 48:46
  Matt: I also wrote down Disney World at one point.
• 48:48
  Matt: Okay.
• 48:49
  Matt: Okay.
• 48:49
  Matt: Which I did, which honestly is the center of power.
• 48:52
  Matt: Um, but uh okay, so Buckingham Palace, the Vatican.
• 48:56
  Matt: I like this.
• 48:57
  Matt: The first two things we had separate guesses.
• 49:00
  Matt: Yep.
• 49:01
  Matt: So I thought for sure we had the same guest there.
• 49:03
  Matt: Uh same.
• 49:04
  Matt: All right, so here we go.
• 49:05
  Matt: Reveal it to us, Sarah and Carissa.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_07: And the answer is drill more, Carissa.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_07: The Kremlin!
• 49:17
  Matt: The Kremlin! Wow, that's good.
• 49:23
  Matt: Yeah, that is that is that is very good.
• 49:26
  Matt: You know, the downside to inviting the guests to do this, Eric, means we're we're blowing seven good locations for future Google Gripe seasons.
• 49:35
  Matt: Uh anyway, neither of us got it.
• 49:39
  Matt: No, that was good.
• 49:40
  Matt: That was very good.
• 49:42
  Matt: Well done.
• 49:43
  Matt: Carissa, well done.
• 49:45
  Eric: Um can we just officially name them the cool aunts of the podcast?
• 49:50
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, they're definitely the cool aunts of the podcast.
• 49:52
  Eric: Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool.
• 49:54
  Matt: You say aunt?
• 49:55
  Matt: Ants.
• 49:56
  Matt: I say ants.
• 49:57
  Matt: You say aunt?
• 49:58
  Eric: Yeah, when I want to sound like, you know, classy.
• 50:01
  Matt: Aunt.
• 50:02
  Matt: Yeah, when you want to dress it up.
• 50:04
  Eric: I want to dress it up.
• 50:05
  Eric: My aunt.
• 50:06
  Eric: When I want to talk about when I want to talk about them like I might inherit something from them someday.
• 50:11
  Matt: Yes.
• 50:12
  Eric: Like a haunted ass house.
• 50:14
  Matt: Otherwise, the ants.
• 50:16
  Matt: Yeah, I say I'd say ants pretty exclusively.
• 50:19
  Matt: Um, shall we move on to our third guest, which is none other than the person who orchestrated this and the person I live with.
• 50:28
  Matt: And also am married to.
• 50:31
  Matt: Lindsay R.
• 50:32
  Eric: I like that.
• 50:32
  Eric: That was last.
• 50:33
  Matt: Yes.
• 50:34
  Matt: Well, you know, priorities.
• 50:35
  Matt: Priorities.
• 50:36
  Matt: Organize this for the podcast.
• 50:39
  Eric: Live with married and love last.
• 50:44
  Eric: Your your saltmate.
• 50:46
  Eric: Lindsay, but by saltmate.
• 50:48
  Eric: Have you ever heard that term?
• 50:49
  Eric: No.
• 50:49
  Eric: Saltmate is just someone who with whom you can you just can so comfortably bitch about other people with.
• 50:56
  Eric: Oh, well, we definitely can do that.
• 50:58
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 50:58
  Eric: Saltmate.
• 50:59
  Matt: It's like a saltmate, but for your salty number it's our number one pastime in this house.
• 51:04
  Matt: Um, okay, that should surprise no one.
• 51:06
  Matt: Anyway, here you go, Lindsay.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello, hello.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_00: It is Lindsay here contributing to the Google Gripes for your 50th episode.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just dive right in, shall we?
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_05: We shall.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_00: Review one.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I set my expectations too high for what the experience would be like, but I was severely disappointed.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_00: I may have been spoiled by my experiences at other landmarks like the Space Needle and Eiffel Tower.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_00: My friend and I decided to ride the tram to the top to get the amazing view everyone talked about.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_00: First, the tram ride was very uncomfortable.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_00: Before you enter, they ask you whether you're claustrophobic or afraid of heights.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_00: For good reason.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_00: The ride to the top is in a tiny little white pod that is supposed to fit five people.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, I had the experience of being in full pods both going up and going back down.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a very petite person, but it is not comfortable when your shoulders and legs are touching the strangers sitting next to you and your body is scrunched up the entire time.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_00: It was very cramped.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I can see how people could get claustrophobic in the pod.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_00: It is a tiny pod with only the glass door as the window.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_00: You're going up a cement chute in a wobbly pod for a few minutes until you reach the top.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_00: Review number two.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, just wow.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_00: Going to the blank was definitely an experience.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_00: Would I characterize it as a mistake?
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_00: The real mistake was this huge, godforsaken thing being built in the first place.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is not a shape that should exist on Earth.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_00: Getting there was nearly impossible, with the directions taking us straight out of the city.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the directions were trying to do us a favor, because I wish we would have stayed out.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you do, do not enter the museum.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_00: It is a den of propaganda trying to convince you that the shape is physically correct.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_00: Also, the pictures cost twenty-five dollars.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_00: A blank being this unsustainable is truly sickening and heartbreaking in more ways than one.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_00: Also, this date is too long.
• 53:07
  Matt: The state is too long?
• 53:10
  Matt: Is that what she said at the end?
• 53:11
  Matt: I believe so.
• 53:13
  Matt: I I felt I feel pretty good about my guess because nothing else is coming to mind.
• 53:20
  Eric: I am my mind is being blown right now.
• 53:24
  Eric: I've got nothing.
• 53:26
  Matt: I also think it's such a bold thing for somebody to say that this shape should not exist on Earth.
• 53:35
  Matt: I think I have my guess simply because nothing else is coming to mind.
• 53:39
  Matt: I give me a sec.
• 53:41
  Matt: I'll give you a sec.
• 53:42
  Eric: Yeah, I'm just like.
• 53:45
  Matt: We never established a timer for these guests.
• 53:48
  Matt: I mean, for our our guesses, is what I mean.
• 53:51
  Matt: Yeah, I know.
• 53:52
  Matt: And Eric, I don't know.
• 53:53
  Matt: I think you I think I gotta say you gotta come up on delivering something.
• 53:56
  Matt: We got more to go.
• 53:57
  Eric: I know, I know.
• 53:59
  Matt: Uh I'm feeling better about my guest by the minute.
• 54:03
  Matt: God dang.
• 54:03
  Eric: I know, I know.
• 54:05
  Eric: I uh man, I'm gonna I'm I've I've got I've got nothing else, so I I just threw this in there.
• 54:11
  Eric: This might even be one we did before.
• 54:13
  Eric: Like that's how blank my mind has gone.
• 54:16
  Matt: Okay, so you know what, Eric, you have given your guess first both times.
• 54:21
  Matt: So I think it's only fair that maybe I I go first this time.
• 54:25
  Matt: My guess is the St.
• 54:26
  Matt: Louis Arch.
• 54:27
  Matt: Okay.
• 54:28
  Matt: What is your guess?
• 54:30
  Eric: My guess, oh god damn.
• 54:32
  Eric: I just realized what it sh okay.
• 54:35
  Eric: I my guess is Mount Rushmore.
• 54:38
  Eric: Your guess should have been the St.
• 54:39
  Eric: Louis Arch.
• 54:40
  Eric: My guess, I'll I'll tell you what my guess should have been in a sec.
• 54:44
  Matt: Okay, you want to do the reveal first?
• 54:47
  Matt: What if your guess is correct?
• 54:49
  Matt: Your guess is.
• 54:50
  Eric: Alright, do you want me to tell you what I should have guessed?
• 54:51
  Matt: Well, I mean, if it's right, you're just gonna go, oh, I knew it was that.
• 54:55
  Eric: Yeah.
• 54:56
  Eric: Yeah, well, so what what I realized is.
• 54:59
  Eric: Your guess is Mount Rushman.
• 55:00
  Eric: My guess is no matter what, my guess is Mount Rushman.
• 55:02
  Eric: I'm locked in.
• 55:03
  Eric: I'm locked in really much.
• 55:04
  Eric: You're locked in.
• 55:04
  Eric: That's the final answer.
• 55:05
  Eric: But I was maybe Statue of Liberty?
• 55:09
  Matt: Well, we've done the Statue of Liberty.
• 55:10
  Matt: Okay, then never mind.
• 55:11
  Eric: Then that's fucking dog shit.
• 55:13
  Matt: It should not be that.
• 55:14
  Matt: It should not be that.
• 55:15
  Matt: Also, there's no elevator for that.
• 55:16
  Matt: So uh so here we go.
• 55:20
  Matt: The reveal.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_00: Since I just know in my heart of hearts that you got it right, I was talking about the Gateway Arch in St.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_00: Louis, Missouri.
• 55:31
  Matt: Good!
• 55:36
  Eric: So you're at two, you're so you're at two right.
• 55:40
  Eric: We each got one wrong.
• 55:41
  Eric: Oh, actually, no, sorry, you get did you get three?
• 55:44
  Matt: No, I just it's two zero.
• 55:46
  Matt: I've gotten two right.
• 55:47
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 55:48
  Matt: Yeah.
• 55:48
  Matt: Out of I've gotten two out of three, and you've gotten um, let me check.
• 55:52
  Matt: None.
• 55:52
  Eric: Okay.
• 55:53
  Eric: Go fuck yourself.
• 55:57
  Eric: Okay.
• 55:57
  Eric: All right, but just just call me.
• 55:59
  Eric: Wow, he got the one right that his wife submitted.
• 56:02
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 56:03
  Eric: No, no, Lindsay is a paragon of academic integrity.
• 56:06
  Eric: Like she would never, she would never.
• 56:08
  Matt: Yeah, but uh, you're just gonna keep on accusing her.
• 56:10
  Eric: So really, no, no, no.
• 56:12
  Matt: Who's griping now?
• 56:13
  Eric: No, Lindsay's an angel.
• 56:14
  Eric: You somehow traded.
• 56:16
  Matt: Let me tell you this.
• 56:17
  Matt: I'm giving you a one-star review.
• 56:18
  Eric: Oh my fucking god.
• 56:19
  Eric: Come in here, but you're currently whipping my ass.
• 56:23
  Matt: If I if I if I could, if I could, if I could uh invoke Denzel real quick.
• 56:30
  Matt: You are accusing my wife.
• 56:38
  Matt: So that was good.
• 56:39
  Matt: Uh thank you.
• 56:40
  Matt: Uh so should we move on?
• 56:42
  Matt: You gotta do the chest pound when you do it.
• 56:44
  Matt: Gotta fucking do it.
• 56:45
  Matt: Uh okay.
• 56:46
  Matt: So um should we move on, Eric, to our fourth guest, Miss Megan Stanton.
• 56:54
  Eric: Yes, Megan, help help me.
• 56:56
  Eric: Help me, Megan.
• 56:57
  Eric: Redeem me.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_06: Hey guys, very excited to be included in this Google Gripes nonsense.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_06: This is Megan.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_06: My voice is real scratchy because I almost lost it doing a show.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_06: Megan.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and despite receiving very clear instructions, I've decided to go my own way with this.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_06: God damn.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_06: Rather than doing two like medium-length ones, I'm gonna give you three one-sentence one-star.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_06: All right.
• 57:20
  SPEAKER_06: Accept it.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_06: Accept it.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_06: Fuck yes.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_06: Everard a p says it's too cold and too wind, but very nice experience.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_06: One star.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_06: Next up we have Tony Sl.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_06: I assume that's how that's pronounced.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_06: It doesn't exist.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_06: There is only fog.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_06: One star.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_06: And finally, from global garbage, and this one you'll probably get it, but we'll see.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_06: It's not gold, frowny face.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_06: One star.
• 57:50
  Matt: Oh.
• 57:50
  Matt: Now, Eric, you're you are acting as if you've got it right away.
• 57:54
  Eric: I think I do.
• 57:55
  Matt: And similar to you last time, I I currently have nothing, no idea.
• 58:01
  Matt: I didn't write anything down.
• 58:02
  Matt: Didn't have time.
• 58:03
  Matt: They were so quick.
• 58:04
  Matt: Let me let me let me marinate, but like I Too cold and too wind.
• 58:10
  Matt: It doesn't exist, and it's not gold.
• 58:14
  Matt: Are the only things we have to go off of.
• 58:17
  Eric: See, there's what I there's what I'm guessing, and then there's what like I but I feel like there's something obvious I'm missing.
• 58:24
  Matt: Yeah, I oh man, I'm at a loss for this one.
• 58:27
  Matt: Yep.
• 58:28
  Matt: This is the first one that I don't even have a guess ready.
• 58:31
  Matt: Like, I don't even have a good guess.
• 58:33
  Matt: Because the only thing that came to mind for the gold one isn't cold.
• 58:37
  Eric: Yeah, that's what's fucking.
• 58:38
  Eric: We might have the same, like the same one, and that's what's fucking me up is the cold.
• 58:43
  Matt: Okay, I have a guess that I don't think is right.
• 58:46
  Eric: I have a guess that I don't think is right just because of the cold, but I'm willing to stand by it.
• 58:51
  Matt: Okay.
• 58:52
  Matt: I'll go first again, since you went first twice.
• 58:55
  Matt: My guess, I don't think it's right.
• 58:58
  Matt: St.
• 58:58
  Matt: Basil's Cathedral in Moscow.
• 59:01
  Eric: Oh.
• 59:02
  Matt: I'm locked in in the cold.
• 59:03
  Matt: The cold's fucking me up.
• 59:04
  Eric: Yeah.
• 59:05
  Eric: Uh my guess.
• 59:06
  Matt: But I think I know what it is now that but now that I think critically about it.
• 59:10
  Matt: My guess is the Golden Gate Bridge.
• 59:12
  Matt: Yeah, and I bet you are.
• 59:13
  Matt: It's the fog.
• 59:14
  Eric: The only thing that fucks me up is the cold.
• 59:15
  Eric: Fog.
• 59:16
  Eric: The fog.
• 59:16
  Matt: I'm so dumb.
• 59:18
  Matt: God, you're fucking gonna get this point.
• 59:21
  Eric: Watch.
• 59:21
  Eric: It's gonna be so fucking.
• 59:22
  Eric: If you're right, I'm gonna throw up.
• 59:24
  Matt: No, it's you.
• 59:25
  Matt: It's definitely the Golden Gate Bridge.
• 59:26
  Matt: Here we go.
• 59:27
  Matt: Here's the reveal.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_06: In case that third one didn't make it abundantly clear, we are in fact talking about the Golden Gate Bridge.
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_06: I got one.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_06: I got one.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_06: Cold two wind doesn't exist, not gold.
• 59:38
  unknown: Megan!
• 59:39
  Matt: It doesn't exist, though.
• 59:41
  Matt: It does exist.
• 59:42
  Eric: My guess was because it's like so like the smog and shit.
• 59:45
  Eric: Like, like I guess that was like uh like it made it impossible to see when they went to go see it.
• 59:50
  Matt: Thank you, Megan.
• 59:52
  Matt: You're absolutely right.
• 59:53
  Matt: That should have given it away, and it did to Eric because he's smart.
• 59:56
  Matt: I'm dumb.
• 59:57
  Matt: And the score is two to one.
• 1:00:01
  Matt: We are coming dangerously close to another tie.
• 1:00:07
  Matt: Um, okay, so next up is our our only two-time guest.
• 1:00:12
  Matt: A two-time guest.
• 1:00:13
  Eric: Two-time and no good double cross.
• 1:00:16
  Matt: Uh, it's none other than Andy Cookie Rawlings, just featured on uh episode 48, our live taste test episode of British Biscuits.
• 1:00:25
  Matt: Andy, what do you got for us?
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_10: Okay, Japs, got a good one for ya.
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_10: So, three reviews here.
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_10: First one is from Mark.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_10: Really boringly organized, considering this site has such a fascinating past.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_10: So much interesting history, so boringly presented.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_10: Better to stay home and read.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_10: Having read it would be nice to be able to visit in a similarly interesting way.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_10: I am prompted to review my visit after reading a daily mail article where others found it similarly dull.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_10: Not sure why they're accused, it's never that interesting, so people gather in hotspots of desperation.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_10: I think I got it.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_10: Okay then, guys.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_10: Second review from Anthony.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_10: Not worth the money, very overpriced.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_10: Not much to see, so hard to justify the price.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_10: Example, Hampton Court, cheaper, and a lot more to see and do, for example.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_10: Very busy, and at least a two-hour queue, which is about normal, I was told.
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_10: Disappointed and rated harshly.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_10: And the final review comes from Bethany.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_10: I had been looking forward to visiting, got very giddy when we arrived, only to be sorely disappointed.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_10: All the exhibits and information are woefully basic.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_10: So for a history buff, this is not what I hoped for.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_10: I had anticipated more on some of the most famous guests, Amberlynn, Lady Jane Grey, Catherine Howard, etc.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_10: But other than a monument in the area in which they died, there was little to no reference made to them.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_10: It was certainly not worth the costly ticket.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_10: Oh, I got it.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_10: Good luck, guys.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_10: I hope you get this one.
• 1:02:01
  Eric: I'm just trying to remember if my guess actually existed at the time.
• 1:02:06
  Eric: And it sucks.
• 1:02:07
  Eric: I worked for a Renaissance festival for five fucking years.
• 1:02:11
  Eric: And I I should know this.
• 1:02:14
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:02:14
  Eric: I think I have my guess.
• 1:02:16
  Eric: I think I have my guess.
• 1:02:17
  Eric: I'm I'm not super confident, but like I can't I'm drawing a blank otherwise.
• 1:02:22
  Matt: I also have a cut because there's a couple things, right?
• 1:02:26
  Matt: It's clearly in England.
• 1:02:28
  Eric: Yep, clearly in England.
• 1:02:30
  Matt: I think.
• 1:02:31
  Matt: I think it is.
• 1:02:32
  Matt: I you know what?
• 1:02:33
  Matt: We shouldn't discuss.
• 1:02:34
  Matt: We shouldn't discuss, Eric.
• 1:02:35
  Eric: Yep.
• 1:02:36
  Matt: I'm ready to, I'm ready to go.
• 1:02:37
  Matt: Are you?
• 1:02:37
  Eric: Yep.
• 1:02:38
  Matt: Uh so you went first twice, I went first twice.
• 1:02:40
  Matt: Should we switch off now?
• 1:02:42
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:42
  Eric: I'll I'll take that.
• 1:02:43
  Eric: Okay, I've I've got my answer in there.
• 1:02:46
  Eric: My guess, Matthew.
• 1:02:47
  Eric: Uh yes.
• 1:02:48
  Eric: It was specifically the way he phrased guests.
• 1:02:51
  Eric: Uh long ass cue times, and the fact that one of those guests was Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard.
• 1:02:56
  Matt: Guests stuck out to me.
• 1:02:57
  Eric: Yep.
• 1:02:58
  Eric: Tower of London.
• 1:02:59
  Matt: Tower of London is my guess.
• 1:03:01
  Eric: It would also be very fitting because Andy used to run the Tower of London experience.
• 1:03:06
  Matt: And in episode 48, he did make mention of the prices to get in to being out of control.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_10: Alright, let's see.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_10: Ready for the reveal.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_10: Well, gents, I certainly hope one of you got this.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_10: And if you didn't, shame on you.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_10: It was the Tower of London.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_10: The Tower.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_10: Matt.
• 1:03:28
  Matt: The winner was both of us, baby.
• 1:03:30
  Matt: Alright, so the score is now three to two.
• 1:03:32
  Matt: We both got a point there.
• 1:03:34
  Eric: Yep.
• 1:03:35
  Matt: Uh are we ready to move on to Mr.
• 1:03:38
  Matt: Zach Duke.
• 1:03:39
  Matt: Zachy D.
• 1:03:41
  Matt: Okay, I thought you were going to do the something for me as you have been.
• 1:03:45
  Matt: I'm sorry.
• 1:03:46
  Matt: Zachy D, the griper for me.
• 1:03:48
  Matt: Nice.
• 1:03:49
  Matt: There we go.
• 1:03:50
  Matt: Here we go.
• 1:03:51
  Matt: Here's the griper.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_12: Hello, gentlemen.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_12: There we go.
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_12: Zach from I don't know.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_12: Throw a dart on Twitter wherever it lands, I'm probably from that podcast.
• 1:04:00
  SPEAKER_12: Congratulations on you, you daft boys.
• 1:04:03
  SPEAKER_12: You're here at your landmark 50th episode, and uh appreciate you involving me in your Google gripes as a guest griper.
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_12: So here we go.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_12: Gripe number one.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_12: The ride there wasn't too bad.
• 1:04:20
  SPEAKER_12: However, when I got there, the locals just screamed at me and gave me weird looks.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_12: Then, when I got to the hotel, the receptionist at the hotel just screamed at me and stole my chips.
• 1:04:33
  SPEAKER_12: My family and I were meant to stay for two weeks.
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_12: However, I couldn't even bear to stay a night.
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_12: With the helicopter gone, I decided to just make a swim back to England myself.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_12: Unfortunately for my wife and two kids, however, they couldn't swim the journey, and instead I left them there.
• 1:04:51
  SPEAKER_12: Excuse me.
• 1:04:52
  SPEAKER_12: Excuse them for not eating their spinach.
• 1:04:55
  Eric: Spinach Oh okay.
• 1:05:00
  Eric: Why did that feel like a mad lib?
• 1:05:02
  SPEAKER_12: Review number two.
• 1:05:04
  SPEAKER_12: I naively believe the reviews about everything supposedly here, the redacted Alps, the Redacted Disneyland, the Taj Mahal of Redacted, The Grand Canyon of Redacted, The Branch of Herod's here.
• 1:05:22
  SPEAKER_12: Don't be fooled.
• 1:05:24
  SPEAKER_12: There's FACAL in Redacted.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_12: Apart from a lousy Sainsbury local.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_12: Do not recommend.
• 1:05:33
  SPEAKER_12: What the fuck, Zach?
• 1:05:35
  Matt: Zach, what the fuck?
• 1:05:37
  Matt: Okay, I uh my guesses that came to mind span the globe.
• 1:05:42
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:05:43
  Matt: Oh okay, so so so so I so this is I have to I have two guesses, and I don't know why either one of them would get this kind of a review.
• 1:05:58
  Eric: I've got fucking no Nothing.
• 1:06:01
  Eric: I mean, I know it's in England.
• 1:06:04
  Eric: That's about it.
• 1:06:05
  Eric: Because then he's mentioning the Alps.
• 1:06:08
  Eric: So I I know what he was trying to say with that series of things.
• 1:06:13
  Eric: Um, but I don't want to tell you because I don't get it.
• 1:06:15
  Eric: Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:16
  Matt: You don't want me to get it.
• 1:06:18
  Matt: I've written my guess down.
• 1:06:20
  Matt: I think I'm I'm ready to submit.
• 1:06:21
  Matt: I don't feel good about it, but I'm ready to submit it.
• 1:06:23
  Eric: I don't feel good about it, but I I have a fucking guess.
• 1:06:26
  Matt: Uh okay, so uh the swim back to England is what led me to this guess.
• 1:06:31
  Matt: I don't feel good about it.
• 1:06:32
  Matt: I'm gonna say and he said feck all, so I'm gonna guess Loch Ness.
• 1:06:38
  Matt: I don't think that's right.
• 1:06:40
  Matt: I'm I'm admitting to you, I don't think it's right.
• 1:06:42
  Matt: What do you have for me?
• 1:06:43
  Eric: I have, I just it was the grand, it was the the the the the jumps I'm gonna say the cliffs of Dover.
• 1:06:50
  Matt: The cliffs of Dover like that song from Guitar Hero.
• 1:06:56
  Matt: Okay, so so uh let's see.
• 1:07:01
  Matt: I think you mm a lot of what you're saying makes a lot of sense to me.
• 1:07:04
  Matt: Let's get the review.
• 1:07:05
  Eric: Darkness might make sense too.
• 1:07:07
  SPEAKER_12: Did you boys guess it?
• 1:07:09
  SPEAKER_12: Do you know the location?
• 1:07:12
  SPEAKER_12: I I will be greatly impressed if you do.
• 1:07:15
  SPEAKER_12: The location is called Rock All, an uninhabitable granite islet situated in the North Atlantic Ocean.
• 1:07:24
  SPEAKER_12: The UK claims that Rockall lies within its exclusive economic zone and is part of its territory, but this claim is not recognized by Ireland.
• 1:07:35
  SPEAKER_12: It and the nearby Scarries of Hasselwood Rock and Helen's Reef are the only emerged parts of the Rockall Plateau.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_12: Thank you, gentlemen, for allowing me to participate in your Google Gribes, and may the odds forever be in your favor.
• 1:07:54
  Matt: Wow, the second person to give us that.
• 1:07:57
  Matt: That was gonna be my second guess.
• 1:08:00
  Matt: Zachy D.
• 1:08:00
  Matt: Zach, you madman.
• 1:08:02
  Matt: Zachy D, the man from me.
• 1:08:06
  SPEAKER_02: Is that a well-known location?
• 1:08:07
  SPEAKER_02: Is that how well known?
• 1:08:09
  Eric: It's like we went to Zach and we're like, Zachy D, give us a well-known location.
• 1:08:13
  Eric: And he's like, Well, well, you might not know it because no one's ever fucking heard of it.
• 1:08:17
  Matt: I know we chastised you on the last episode for getting a basic fact back to the future uh wrong or asking us about it in general.
• 1:08:27
  Matt: But you to be honest, when we're recording this episode, that episode hasn't even come out yet.
• 1:08:33
  Matt: So you don't even know we did that, and you still punished us.
• 1:08:36
  Matt: You punished us, actually.
• 1:08:37
  Matt: You punished us.
• 1:08:38
  Matt: You punished us.
• 1:08:39
  Matt: You punished us.
• 1:08:41
  Matt: Okay, well, what he's done, Eric, is he has sent us to the final review from Lewis Mallard, our latest guest.
• 1:08:50
  Eric: I'm gonna throw up, Matt, because the only there are two outcomes here.
• 1:08:55
  Eric: One, I lose badly.
• 1:08:59
  Eric: Two There are three outcomes.
• 1:09:01
  Eric: I get it right, you get it wrong, and we're fucking tied.
• 1:09:05
  Matt: The best you can hope for is a tie.
• 1:09:07
  Eric: The best I can hope for is a tie.
• 1:09:09
  Eric: What's the third outcome?
• 1:09:10
  Matt: The third outcome is just Oh, we both get it wrong and we both we we either both get it wrong and the score stays the same and I win.
• 1:09:18
  Matt: We both get it right and the score just goes up by one and I win.
• 1:09:21
  Matt: Uh what you have to hope for is you get it wrong and I or you get it right and I get it wrong, and then we would be tied.
• 1:09:30
  Eric: So what you're saying is the uh the outcome that I want only has a one in three chance of happening, therefore making that that point I get just that much more special.
• 1:09:39
  Eric: Kind of like an underdog, kind of like do do do do do tie like it's kind of like how in like cool, like in cool runnings, like when they when they didn't they didn't place in first, great film, but like everyone was cheering for them as they walked their their little bobsled across the the Yeah, it was a pity la uh clap, as I recall.
• 1:09:58
  Eric: No, it was very inspirational.
• 1:10:00
  Eric: I saw that bobsled.
• 1:10:02
  Matt: Yeah, no, it was inspirational, but like in a you know, pitiful.
• 1:10:06
  Matt: Play the last fucking clip.
• 1:10:08
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:10:10
  SPEAKER_09: Hello, Matt and Eric.
• 1:10:12
  SPEAKER_09: Hi, Lewis.
• 1:10:14
  SPEAKER_09: And here are my grapes.
• 1:10:16
  SPEAKER_09: Grape number one.
• 1:10:18
  SPEAKER_09: Never understand what the hype is about.
• 1:10:21
  SPEAKER_09: There is a huge museum next to it.
• 1:10:24
  SPEAKER_09: Overcrowded and just a normal house.
• 1:10:28
  SPEAKER_09: Grape number two.
• 1:10:29
  SPEAKER_09: Could be somewhat interactive, maybe, or have some furniture indicating what the place looked like back in the day.
• 1:10:39
  SPEAKER_09: Not worth spending time and money, in my opinion.
• 1:10:44
  SPEAKER_09: And those are the grapes, gentlemen.
• 1:10:48
  SPEAKER_09: Lewis.
• 1:10:49
  Eric: Lewis didn't give us much to work with.
• 1:10:52
  Eric: Oh god, I I can I can feel I can feel the walls closing in around us.
• 1:10:59
  Matt: Closing in on both of us, Eric.
• 1:11:00
  Matt: Oh I'll tell you what I think is misleading me here, Eric.
• 1:11:04
  Matt: I, and this is my own bias, I think I just subconsciously assumed Lewis was gonna give us a Canadian language.
• 1:11:12
  Eric: I did the same thing, and it's fine.
• 1:11:14
  Eric: And you know what?
• 1:11:15
  Eric: And honestly, Matt, I'm just gonna say it racist.
• 1:11:19
  Matt: That's that's certainly nationalist of us.
• 1:11:22
  Eric: Yes, yes.
• 1:11:23
  Matt: Uh but I am actually getting some, and perhaps this is the nationalist part.
• 1:11:29
  Matt: I'm getting to some distinctly American vibes.
• 1:11:32
  Matt: Yes.
• 1:11:34
  Matt: And I think maybe he could have thrown us a curveball and gone for a very American situation.
• 1:11:40
  Matt: I but the because the furniture thing is messing me up, because the thing I'm thinking about is like I uh would have the furniture.
• 1:11:50
  Eric: You know what?
• 1:11:50
  Eric: I think I have a guess.
• 1:11:53
  Eric: Because I think Lewis might have thought we would have thunk this.
• 1:11:58
  Eric: You say that a fucking gin?
• 1:12:01
  Eric: I think Lewis might have thought we might have thunk this.
• 1:12:06
  Eric: About the Canadia.
• 1:12:08
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:12:08
  Matt: And so you think it's not Canadia.
• 1:12:11
  Eric: I think Canada was a red herring.
• 1:12:14
  Matt: Oh, it always was.
• 1:12:16
  Eric: I I have a guess.
• 1:12:18
  Eric: I it's a it is a fucking like the clocks run down.
• 1:12:23
  Matt: There's a museum next to it.
• 1:12:26
  Matt: That's the part that's really getting me.
• 1:12:29
  Matt: I think I you think you know.
• 1:12:31
  Matt: I think I know I I can see it in your eye.
• 1:12:34
  Matt: Oh god, it matched.
• 1:12:35
  Matt: I don't know.
• 1:12:36
  Matt: It's making me very nervous.
• 1:12:37
  Matt: This can't end in a tie.
• 1:12:40
  Eric: Um it if it's a tie.
• 1:12:42
  Matt: What do we do if it ends in a tie?
• 1:12:45
  Matt: Uh okay.
• 1:12:46
  Matt: I gotta get a guess here.
• 1:12:48
  Matt: Have you already written your answer?
• 1:12:50
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 1:12:50
  Matt: There's so many things it could be, but I It kind of could be anything.
• 1:12:54
  Eric: It kind of could be anything.
• 1:12:56
  Matt: How appropriate it was that this was the last one.
• 1:12:58
  Matt: This is I feel like this is the most vague one.
• 1:13:01
  Eric: It's perfect.
• 1:13:02
  Eric: It's such a cliffhanger.
• 1:13:04
  Matt: Okay, I don't think this is right.
• 1:13:07
  Matt: I do not think this is right, but I am writing it down.
• 1:13:11
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:13:11
  Matt: I'm okay.
• 1:13:12
  Matt: I've I've written my answer, I've locked it in.
• 1:13:15
  Matt: Have you?
• 1:13:15
  Eric: Yes.
• 1:13:16
  Matt: Okay, so Eric, what do we do?
• 1:13:18
  Matt: We've switched off, we've gone to two.
• 1:13:20
  Matt: Who gives the answer first?
• 1:13:22
  Matt: Or do we say them at the same time?
• 1:13:25
  Matt: Same time.
• 1:13:26
  Matt: Okay, ready?
• 1:13:26
  Matt: Yep.
• 1:13:27
  Matt: Three, two, one, the White House.
• 1:13:33
  Eric: The White House.
• 1:13:35
  Matt: The Alamo.
• 1:13:36
  Eric: To be clear, mine was the Alamo, Matt's was the White House.
• 1:13:40
  unknown: Yes.
• 1:13:40
  Eric: That's where I think Canada was a red herring.
• 1:13:42
  Eric: I'm like, maybe he went south.
• 1:13:45
  Eric: Wow.
• 1:13:45
  Eric: Maybe he went south.
• 1:13:46
  Matt: Red herring.
• 1:13:48
  Matt: Just like communism.
• 1:13:51
  Matt: In clue.
• 1:13:54
  Matt: Okay, are we ready for the reveal?
• 1:13:57
  Matt: I, Eric, I am sweating.
• 1:13:59
  SPEAKER_09: I am nervous sweats.
• 1:14:01
  SPEAKER_09: Hello again, Matt and Eric.
• 1:14:03
  SPEAKER_09: My answer, or the answer is the Anne Frank House.
• 1:14:09
  SPEAKER_02: Damn it.
• 1:14:10
  SPEAKER_02: Damn it.
• 1:14:11
  SPEAKER_02: We were so far so fucking far.
• 1:14:16
  SPEAKER_02: We weren't even in the right hemisphere.
• 1:14:18
  SPEAKER_02: Eric, Eric, we both went with the most American landmarks we fucking are ignorant sluts.
• 1:14:27
  SPEAKER_02: And the I don't know to be fair, to be fair, Lewis, I don't know what was in there that was supposed to give us the air fright.
• 1:14:38
  Matt: But we both gooseg it on the last one.
• 1:14:43
  SPEAKER_11: Which means that is good news for me, baby, the the gripest of the gripies.
• 1:14:53
  SPEAKER_11: The champion.
• 1:14:56
  SPEAKER_11: Sing it to me.
• 1:14:58
  SPEAKER_11: Sing it through your tears.
• 1:15:00
  SPEAKER_11: Be the champion until next season of You Didn't Ask For This.
• 1:15:07
  Matt: Well, to be fair, now, Eric, we don't have seasons of You Didn't Ask for This.
• 1:15:11
  Matt: We just keep on rolling.
• 1:15:12
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 1:15:14
  Matt: But I am the Super Bowl champion of this season of Google Gripe.
• 1:15:18
  Matt: A race well run.
• 1:15:20
  Matt: It went.
• 1:15:21
  Matt: Hey, honestly, Eric, I don't think we could have asked for a better.
• 1:15:26
  Matt: The only way it could have been better is if we were somehow both tied going into the bike.
• 1:15:30
  Matt: Oh yeah, I'm glad to be a good one.
• 1:15:31
  Matt: Then we would have ended a tie.
• 1:15:32
  Eric: Yeah, I'm glad I at least I got some in there, got a little on the chin.
• 1:15:37
  Eric: Three to two?
• 1:15:38
  Matt: Hey, that is nothing to scoff, my friend.
• 1:15:42
  Matt: And I did not have a guess for the last one, so I thought for sure it was going to end in a tie.
• 1:15:46
  Matt: And I had no idea how we were.
• 1:15:47
  Matt: This was supposed to settle the tie.
• 1:15:48
  Eric: Matthew, you can't.
• 1:15:49
  Matt: And it did.
• 1:15:50
  Matt: It was a race well run.
• 1:15:53
  Matt: Uh and you know, we we obviously will be back with new locations for season two.
• 1:15:59
  Matt: Hopefully, three rounds of that don't end in a tie, so we we don't have to do this again.
• 1:16:04
  Matt: But hey, it was fun to hear everybody bringing their grapes.
• 1:16:10
  Eric: Just try to confuse us.
• 1:16:12
  Eric: Just try to confuse us, and you did so good.
• 1:16:15
  Eric: Uh let's give it up again for him.
• 1:16:18
  Eric: Give it up for Paul, give it up for Megan, give it up for Sarah and Carissa, give it up for Lindsay Barr, give it up for Andy, give it up for Lewis Mallard, give it up for Zachy D.
• 1:16:30
  Eric: Give it up for Did I miss anybody?
• 1:16:34
  SPEAKER_12: You tell me, Eric.
• 1:16:36
  Eric: I didn't miss a goddamn person.
• 1:16:38
  Eric: Nah, you didn't miss anybody.
• 1:16:40
  Eric: And I remember their names.
• 1:16:42
  Eric: You share all listening.
• 1:16:46
  Matt: They're like, well, when when you said that part, that's yeah, you you you didn't need to finish it off that way.
• 1:16:52
  Matt: Uh we do desperately need to finish off this episode.
• 1:16:57
  Matt: You amazing humans.
• 1:16:59
  Matt: That will about do it for this episode and indeed the first 50 episodes of You Didn't Ask for This.
• 1:17:09
  Matt: And Eric, let me just say 50 50 episodes, it's been such a joy.
• 1:17:14
  Eric: Matt, goddamn, I cannot think of anyone on this earth I would rather do 50 episodes with.
• 1:17:19
  Matt: Absolutely not.
• 1:17:20
  Matt: Absolutely.
• 1:17:20
  Eric: That's why I say that knowing well I have a whole ass other podcast.
• 1:17:25
  Matt: Yes, uh, same.
• 1:17:27
  Matt: Uh but the but this podcast, that's why we have to have the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory golden ticket contest, because we can't do this.
• 1:17:37
  Matt: We can't do this alone, baby.
• 1:17:38
  Eric: No.
• 1:17:39
  Matt: We didn't talk about the option where one of us is killed by a boar.
• 1:17:43
  Eric: And oh well, that's when I that's when I go on a like a uh like a kind of dig two graves before I set out on my path to revenge against the boar.
• 1:17:52
  Matt: You you know what we have to do?
• 1:17:53
  Matt: We have to put a successor for ourselves in our wheels.
• 1:17:56
  Eric: That's what we have to do.
• 1:17:57
  Eric: I name my cat.
• 1:17:58
  Matt: That's gonna be so fucking fun for that.
• 1:18:00
  Eric: Amelia Bedelia, you could not ask for a better co-host.
• 1:18:04
  Matt: You know what?
• 1:18:05
  Matt: Yeah, you're absolutely right with that.
• 1:18:06
  Matt: In fact, I'm I'm rethinking what I just said.
• 1:18:09
  Matt: I would rather do this podcast.
• 1:18:13
  Matt: Well, that'll about do it, but we do need your questions to fuel us for another 50 episodes.
• 1:18:19
  Matt: So send those on over to us at you didn't ask for this at gmail.com, all spelled out, or you didn't ask pod.
• 1:18:27
  Matt: That is the letter you didn't ask pod on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook.
• 1:18:32
  Matt: Drop it to us.
• 1:18:33
  Matt: We also got that YouTube channel now because of the live episode of 48.
• 1:18:37
  Matt: You can still go watch that video, and make sure you drop us a five-star review in the chat.
• 1:18:46
  Matt: In the chat, in the in the in your app of choice.
• 1:18:50
  Matt: Five stars in the chat.
• 1:18:52
  Matt: Drop five stars in the chat.
• 1:18:53
  Matt: Why don't you wherever you just whoever your your latest text message, send it five stars.
• 1:18:59
  Matt: Your latest group chat.
• 1:19:01
  Matt: Uh also invite us to your group chat.
• 1:19:03
  Matt: Invite us to your group chat, just throw us in there.
• 1:19:05
  Eric: Just throw, throw the thought line in there, see what happens.
• 1:19:07
  Eric: Oh my god, yes, please.
• 1:19:08
  Matt: Oh, yeah, and that reminds me, you can of course call the thought line to leave us your questions or your thoughts at 410-929-5329.
• 1:19:18
  Matt: But until then, Eric, I think it's time that we uh we close the books for the first 50 episodes.
• 1:19:26
  Eric: Put them away, seal them up, put them in the put them in the fucking crate next to the Ark of the Covenant.
• 1:19:31
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:19:32
  Matt: Top man.
• 1:19:32
  Matt: Put it in that museum.
• 1:19:34
  Matt: Thank you for listening to these 50 episodes.
• 1:19:37
  Matt: Uh, we hope you'll join us for 50 more at the very least.
• 1:19:42
  Matt: And uh seriously, we uh the whole reason we do this show is because uh we get so much good feedback from you guys.
• 1:19:49
  Matt: We get all these questions.
• 1:19:51
  Matt: We've we've met so many podcasters that I didn't think we'd ever, you know, meet so many fellow indie podcasters.
• 1:19:58
  Matt: Holy shit.
• 1:19:58
  Eric: Yeah, we have met so many cool people doing this.
• 1:20:01
  Matt: It's been such a great community to be a part of, and of course, we have lots of lovely people sending us these questions on on the socials, texting them to us.
• 1:20:12
  Matt: People are telling it to me at parties and stuff now.
• 1:20:16
  Matt: So uh I'm glad you guys get a kick out of it.
• 1:20:19
  Matt: We certainly like doing it, and that's enough of this sentimental bullshit.
• 1:20:23
  Matt: God damn it! All right, Eric, let's take us home for all of us here.
• 1:20:27
  Matt: You didn't ask for this.
• 1:20:28
  Matt: My name's Matt She.
• 1:20:29
  Eric: My name's Eric Poach.
• 1:20:31
  Matt: And listen, you didn't ask.
• 1:20:33
  Eric: But Fig Newton could be a ravioli.
• 1:20:35
  Eric: Oh, Christ on the cross.
• 1:20:36
  Eric: Fig Newton could be ravioli, fam.
• 1:20:39
  Eric: Fig Newton could be a ravioli, fam.
• 1:20:41
  Eric: A fig hot dog's taco, fam.
• 1:20:44
  SPEAKER_02: How dare you bring a hot dog taco?
• 1:20:46
  SPEAKER_02: Taco, fam! I'm coming, I'm coming over there.
• 1:20:49
  Matt: Forget Zoom.
• 1:20:50
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna come there.
• 1:20:51
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna go.
• 1:20:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna make you some pasta.
• 1:20:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna attack you.