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California to Spain: Our Quest for Growth #0049 · Whereabouts Tales | Stories of Belonging and Immigrant Experiences

• 0:00
  Hello everyone, and welcome back to Whereabouts Tales.
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  Today, I'm thrilled to share a truly inspiring conversation
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  with Adam and Gabby from the Gonzalez family.
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  They made a massive leap, moving from their lives in sunny
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  Southern California to start an entirely new chapter in vibrant
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  Valencia, Spain. We dive deep into why they
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  decide to leave behind successful careers, including
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  Gabby's amazing job as a crime scene investigator, and how they
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  navigated everything from painful Spanish bureaucracy to
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  preparing their kids for a new language and culture.
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  We'll talk about the profound shift from the American crime to
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  a life that truly makes them feel human, the surprising
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  cultural differences and the newfound sense of safety.
• 0:52
  David Priest, if you ever dreamed of a different pace,
• 0:56
  this episode is a must. Listen, I'm born and this is
• 1:02
  whereabouts tales. Enjoy.
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  Good evening, Adam. Gabby, so happy that you you
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  accepted my invitation. Yeah, happy to be here.
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  Thanks for reaching out. First of all, I like to start
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  always to understand where, where are you coming from
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  originally? So where where did you grow up?
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  I grew up in Southern California, just north of Los
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  Angeles and. I grew up in Northern
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  California, a small city called Watsonville near Santa Cruz
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  County, California, East Coast, West Coast.
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  Since since you're gone since a long time, right?
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  That's the problem. Yeah.
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  And you decided to move out of California.
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  Why would someone move out of California?
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  But we get there. We got later to that.
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  Yeah, I think, I think a lot of people have it a miss, I guess
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  understanding a lot of people run away from things.
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  We weren't running away from anything.
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  We had a beautiful life, beautiful community, but we were
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  running towards, I guess, growth.
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  We've always wanted to move abroad.
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  It's been in the conversation for about four years.
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  So we were just excited to invest this time as a family
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  abroad. So yeah, it's not why we left,
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  but more so the joys and excitement of of of growing in
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  another city, another country. But the the question is, were
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  you always so if we talk about your youth, were you outside of
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  of the US in your youth? I was not I I didn't leave the
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  United States. I mean, I did take a small trip
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  to Canada in 8th grade. It.
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  Doesn't count, but I didn't start it doesn't count.
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  Doesn't count. I didn't start exploring outside
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  the United States really until I met this guy.
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  And so I was. I was well into my 20s.
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  So, Adam, you're guilty. Yeah.
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  So I think what it was is that I, I, after graduating college,
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  I, I spent about 3 months in South America.
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  And in that time in South America, I realized I felt more
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  alive, my brain was working better, I was making new
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  relationships with friends all over the world.
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  So I kind of got addicted to the lifestyle of being abroad.
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  So my entire adult life I was thinking, how could I make this
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  work? And obviously now married and
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  with two daughters, we decided like, how can we make this a
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  reality? So we started digging deep
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  conversations four years ago, and then we started getting a
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  little bit more serious maybe two years ago.
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  But the question so you you're having both jobs in the US,
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  right? Before moving, yes.
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  Yes. Before moving yes and what was
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  the big take me a bit through the decision making process
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  because like you, you had good jobs as far as I discovered on
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  your Instagram account. So you had good jobs, both good
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  careers, was the was the grinding process from US that
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  kind of made you think about something else or was only the
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  wish to be somewhere outside of the US?
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  I'll start first on that one. So yes, the the field that I was
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  in, I'm still kind of a part of it.
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  I'm a crime scene investigator and that has been my passion
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  since a little kid and I've been doing crime scene investigation
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  for 15 years. And so when you say the grind,
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  yes, that job is amazing, but it is a grind.
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  You work a lot. And when COVID happened, life
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  kind of slowed down. And this is when the idea
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  thought, you know, started, like what if I were to stop crime
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  scene investigation and move abroad and no longer have that
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  be a part of my life? And I was completely open to it.
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  You know, I'm a mom and I love being with my children.
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  I love being able to spend time with my husband.
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  And the thought of moving abroad was going to give me that I had
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  to stop crime scene. And I think it was just the
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  right, you know, timing is right.
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  Everything kind of came together, right timing.
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  Yeah, I think for me, I've been working remote since 2019.
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  So COVID really made the world smaller.
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  A lot of people started going on Zooms just like you and I are
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  doing right now on this amazing podcast.
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  Zoom kind of connected the world.
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  So we started thinking, well, if I could make income remotely
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  anyways, do we have to be in this city?
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  Do we have to be in this country?
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  At first we were thinking, OK, maybe we sell our house in
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  California, maybe we moved to Texas or Florida.
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  And again, it was just this idea of alternative thinking because
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  COVID kind of turned the world upside down with so many
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  different options. And then we started thinking
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  maybe Portugal. So we took a trip to Portugal in
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  2022 for Christmas. We took the girls and we said
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  this could definitely be a reality, so we ended up choosing
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  Spain. We're in Valencia and we're
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  super, super happy about that decision.
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  So of course, working from home for you as an option for Gabby
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  was not an option. Let's be honest about that as
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  well. So I think that's, I keep
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  saying, of course, we had some, we had some bad events during,
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  during COVID as well. But I, I keep saying it when I
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  discuss with my wife, that was amazing because we had a small
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  kid as well. And it was the perfect time that
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  we get to spend with him. And like you said, Adam, the
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  word was slowing a bit and you get to enjoy the fact that, oh,
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  there is life afterwards. There is life, right?
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  This grind that you have there, right?
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  OK. You said you went into Portugal,
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  you moved into Spain. Were there other countries in
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  your process or was Spain the beginning and the end?
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  Let's say it like this. I think in a far off fantasy
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  there was maybe Asia, but I think the reality of of it was
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  is we wanted to be fully bilingual.
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  So my father was born in Mexico. He didn't really teach us
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  Spanish as kids. It wasn't really encouraged.
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  He wanted us to XLS English speaking individuals.
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  But as I started getting older, I wanted to become fluent and I
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  wanted our daughters to be fluent.
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  So we were thinking Mexico, but the wife said no way.
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  Maybe it's not the safest country on paper.
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  We love Mexico. We we have a house there, but
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  the other one was Portugal and then Spain.
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  So we we opted for Spain. Yeah.
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  I, I think it makes sense from the language perspective, it
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  makes sense. But I also understand the
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  perspective of your, of your father because I, I have the
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  same with my son. I'm, I'm, I, I insist to speak,
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  I insist with him to speak German.
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  So, and we also put on the side Romanian because you think I, we
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  have, we are here and we have to be part and integrated and you
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  wish to do everything for him, right?
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  So I completely understand the, the idea behind what your, what
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  your, what your parents did. So you decided Spain, you
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  decided Valencia directly, or you decided it's Spain only, and
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  then you start searching around. So once Spain was on our radar,
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  we kind of started you tubing all like the main cities because
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  we have kids, we wanted to make sure that there was plenty of
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  amenities for them with arts, just diversity, schooling, all
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  that stuff was in consideration. But so, you know, we looked at,
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  we thought about Madrid and to us Madrid was like New York
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  City. It's a big, big city.
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  There's a lot going on. It's like, do we really want to
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  navigate a huge city on our first move abroad?
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  Barcelona was also on our radar, beautiful, but like a party.
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  We were there 10 years ago and it was amazing.
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  And all I could think of is I'd want to go clubbing every night.
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  And that's that's not where we're at.
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  Correct, Correct. Yeah.
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  And so then Valencia came on. You know, our radar and the more
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  we dug into it, the better and better it sounded like.
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  And everything we we research has been absolutely true.
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  It's a beautiful city. It is on the small side.
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  I do feel like I'm in a village at times, but that's perfect.
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  And there are tons of activities, tons of restaurants,
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  tons of cultural events that meet all the requirements so
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  that we're exposing our girls to the Spanish life.
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  Which is nice. They are going to get, they are
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  going there. So I, I think it's, it's really
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  cool. So you decide on Valencia.
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  You, you said OK, now I start to do the boring stuff.
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  We start to do the boring stuff, which is the the paperwork, how
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  that process went. Well, we, we're not the
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  originators of this term, but we started saying that things were
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  painful. Ah, it's painful, which is
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  another word for painful. So the bureaucracy was
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  definitely painful, but there are people that reminded us that
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  that is the introduction. Like, you want this beautiful
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  lifestyle of Spain, you're going to have to go through this
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  hazing period. So knowing that we're like,
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  yeah, we're excited about it. You know, we're, we're kind of
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  getting our butts kicked with the paperwork and and whatnot.
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  But that is what you have to go through if you truly want this
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  beautiful life because Spain offers so much for for our
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  family. So yeah.
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  There are nights where you know, it's a, it's a, it's a big
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  decision to make. And once you finally committed,
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  you're all in and the process begins.
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  And there were nights and early mornings, like I would wake up
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  and just be looking at the ceiling, lying in bed thinking,
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  Oh my gosh, we like this is going to be impossible.
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  Like how are we doing this? I would wake him up and I'd be
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  like, I can't turn my brain off, like I'm non-stop thinking.
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  But it was just, you just have to quickly remind yourself, it's
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  like eating an elephant, one bite at a time, day by day, take
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  care of the process. And here we are five months
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  later and it's like, we did it. We freaking did it.
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  You just got to get through it. You, you went alone through the
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  process or you, you used some, some, let's say companies that
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  are helping with the bureaucracy.
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  Yeah, no, we hired Carlos from American and legal Spain.
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  So shout out to you, Carlos. But he took a step, step by
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  step. Love the service, super amazing.
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  And we just felt comfortable with them.
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  We connected really well. If it wasn't for him, I think
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  we'd be a little bit freaked out and overwhelmed because there's
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  so much to do, but we felt complete Peace of Mind working
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  with somebody else for sure. That's for sure, that's for sure
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  helpful and I think the most important thing is that you have
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  to realize it's not it's not a pride thing that to say I just
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  need help. I just, I think you make your
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  life easier and like, like you said, it's, it's such a huge
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  step and you want to make it as easy as possible for you because
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  it's stressful enough anyhow, because you have decided to do
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  it. So if you take the paperwork on
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  you as well, it's complicated. What does the what does family's
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  reaction when you told them, you know, we move abroad a bit and
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  not to Canada? So for me, I was a little bit
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  more worried to tell my side of the family.
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  One for my dad, you know, I remember just going to visit him
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  one day and we're walking on the property and I was like, how am
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  I going to just tell? Like, you know what, Dad, guess
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  what? We're moving to Spain and that's
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  just how it came out. And he said what?
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  And after that, like I just started blurting out all the
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  information, all the research we've been doing for the past
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  like 2 years that he had no idea about.
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  And both my mom and my dad, they pretty much said, well, it kind
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  of sounds like you guys have had, you know, have everything
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  figured out. You've thought of it all and it
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  sounds like you're doing it. There's no change in your mind.
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  I'm like no, no change in my mind.
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  Yeah, I think for me, our, our family was super excited.
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  My mom, my dad, you know, sister, everybody was
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  supportive. And I think like Gabby said is
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  that we did our research for it. It wasn't like we just decided
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  overnight. This was a four year process and
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  then more seriously for two years.
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  So we kind of thought about every angle and once we kind of
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  discussed this option or this possibility, you know, they're
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  like, yeah, there's really, there's really no con in doing
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  it. So they were excited and
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  they're, they're, they're happy for us for sure.
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  I have to say, I have to say all the respect to them because it's
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  you have to be really selfish because they they kind of gave
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  up on seeing their their nephews so often, let's say like this,
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  just because they realize it's something which is good for you,
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  which I think it's amazing. Not not a lot of parents are
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  doing it. Yeah, right.
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  How does how do you prepare the kids for something like this?
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  So the way we did it and our style is that we have included
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  them in every step of the way. And I talk about even before we
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  decided like, let's move. No, it was sitting down during
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  COVID times and thinking like, let's watch this YouTube about
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  Europe. Let's start discovering
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  Portugal. Oh, let's pick places where
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  you'd want to see. So that kind of gave him their
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  first taste of Europe and what it would be like.
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  And then we kind of have like a family discussion.
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  Well, what if we did Spain and we, you know, did the pros and
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  cons? And so they've been involved in
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  the discussion every step of the way through the whole process.
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  I remember vividly we were in the backyard of our of our house
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  and the girls brought a big white paper and they did like a
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  huge, you know, pros of Lisbon, pros of Valencia.
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  Should we do Portugal, Spain? And I think at the end of the
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  day, Valencia is such a beautiful, convenient city.
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  And then obviously Spanish. So we were like, yeah, let's
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  speak Spanish, you know. But like she said, we included
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  them every step of the way. And it hasn't been easy.
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  You know, I definitely want parents to know that it's going
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  to be hard on your kids. It's hard on adults.
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  You know, it's not the easiest thing, but at, in the end, it,
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  it, it makes the kids a lot better, in my personal opinion.
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  Growth obviously is a is a better thing for our kids.
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  Absolutely, 100%. I think seeing outside of the,
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  let's say of the of your cocoon, because like the place where you
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  grow up, like, you know, I've run, everyone is around you is
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  like your cocoon going around just develops you, develops you
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  further and makes you grow. And I think they will be, they
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  will be travelers as well when they are going to be grown-ups
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  because they realize, oh, this is so cool.
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  This is so cool. The world is not my village,
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  It's not my city, it's not my county.
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  It's just it's huge and I want to see it.
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  And I think this is this is just amazing.
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  Do they speak Spanish? Both of them.
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  Both of the girls. Coquito OK so we were you know
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  we're moving to Spain. I want to be immersed within the
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  culture and language is huge and very important.
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  So we we were very, very adamant that we want our children in
• 15:36
  Spanish speaking schools. And so they are they go to two
• 15:40
  different schools. It's all Spanish and but we also
• 15:44
  got a tutor. So we understand like it is,
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  it's going to be difficult and it's going to be slow in the
• 15:49
  beginning, but from what they were speaking when they first
• 15:52
  arrived five months now like in amazing, absolutely amazing.
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  So. Like you did everything right.
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  Yeah, I have to say guys that you everything was calculated
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  and put together. I have to say respect.
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  I mean that's that's what you call a prepared moving not you
• 16:10
  didn't let anything a chance. I and I think also for kids it's
• 16:13
  easier days for us. So we are right, we are not that
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  fast in learning new, new things.
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  And I think they are learning, they are learning languages.
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  We don't even realise it how, how, how fast they learn.
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  And it's a, it's so nice. It's really so nice.
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  I keep saying to my son that every extra language that he's
• 16:30
  learning, it's a benefit. It doesn't matter what kind of
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  language it is. Absolutely, Absolutely.
• 16:36
  And guys, you, you took the ticket, the one way ticket you
• 16:40
  get in the got in the airplane. I guess you had some things,
• 16:44
  except you only had the the the the luggages or you already had
• 16:48
  the OR something sent over. No, no.
• 16:52
  So we like to travel light, right?
• 16:55
  There's, I don't know, I'm horrible at sayings, but if you
• 16:57
  want to travel far, if you want to travel far, you know,
• 17:01
  whatever I'm horrible with with saying.
• 17:03
  It's the one from it's the one from the the I'm.
• 17:06
  I saw the movie with my son but I don't remember.
• 17:08
  If you want to travel OK, we are both worth better saying where.
• 17:14
  Are you going to travel light something like?
• 17:15
  That something. Yeah, it does better.
• 17:17
  Yeah, you want to. Go far, carry the the least
• 17:20
  amount with you. But anyways, horrible, horrible
• 17:22
  sayings. We, we did garage sales, we sold
• 17:26
  everything, sold our cars. We just came with one big
• 17:30
  luggage and then a carry on. So we knew that we wanted to
• 17:33
  have a very minimalistic lifestyle moving over here so
• 17:37
  that we could, you know, ease into it and just not be burdened
• 17:41
  by things. So we're grateful for that.
• 17:44
  How's the how's the apartment hunting?
• 17:46
  Because usually that's something which is not that easy in
• 17:48
  Europe. Did you had something booked
• 17:50
  when you when you left the US or you or you did the punting when
• 17:54
  you after you arrived? So I'll, I'll take this one.
• 17:57
  So magically we, we, yeah, magically we secured A2 month
• 18:02
  lease, OK, two-month rental. And our landlords were like the
• 18:08
  angels of angels and have such a strong connection with them.
• 18:11
  And it was just, it seemed very, almost too good to be true.
• 18:14
  So I can't say that that's going to be everyone's experience.
• 18:17
  So I secured it for two months and then after that, two months
• 18:21
  was ready, done. We wanted to explore other
• 18:24
  apartments and we were having trouble, if you will.
• 18:26
  We were going to many apartments, you know, things
• 18:29
  were getting taken. So we ended up hiring a company,
• 18:33
  they're called 2 Valencia. They're amazing here in
• 18:36
  Valencia. They showed us a property before
• 18:38
  it was even on the market. He said, hey, I have a meeting
• 18:41
  at 5:00 O clock. You guys have to go.
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  So because of this hiring process with two Valencia, we
• 18:47
  found a beautiful apartment city centers that we're super excited
• 18:51
  about, yes. So you, you are a bit lucky also
• 18:54
  to find something from the US because that's not happening,
• 18:57
  that's. Right.
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  Right. And that was the one good thing,
• 19:00
  like so we used Idealista, that's where we found our
• 19:03
  listing. But you have to, you know, you
• 19:05
  don't know if that's a real listing, you're being scammed.
• 19:07
  But that's also where our the lawyer that we hired for the
• 19:11
  visa process, we were able to send him all the information and
• 19:14
  they were able to verify that this is a legit listing.
• 19:17
  The individuals are, you know, they're legit all the way.
• 19:20
  So that gave us Peace of Mind. Absolutely.
• 19:23
  You have to be aware of scammers in this case because it's
• 19:26
  happening so, so much. Right.
• 19:30
  Adam, I do guess for you at the beginning was a bit easier
• 19:33
  because of the language, knowing the language, right, but.
• 19:36
  Yes. Yeah, we have to ask you, how
• 19:38
  was the landing, how was for you the the first day?
• 19:41
  OK, so I I'm half Mexican. I grew up, I didn't grow up with
• 19:46
  Spanish in the household, but all of my friends, my relative,
• 19:49
  everybody speaks Spanish. So like my ear was attuned to
• 19:51
  it. I did speak a little bit of
• 19:53
  Spanish, but I came over here a lot more confident in my
• 19:56
  Spanish. And then I was very quickly
• 19:59
  reminded that girl, you need a lot of help most.
• 20:05
  But the one thing about me is like, I'm, I'm OK with saying
• 20:08
  things wrong. And I love trying to say
• 20:10
  something and then asking the person that I'm like the word
• 20:13
  like, please tell me, how do I say this?
• 20:15
  So every every day I go to the market.
• 20:21
  How do I ask for this? And that still happens.
• 20:24
  I'm still learning every day. It will take a while.
• 20:28
  I've seen her since 10 years. Trust me, it's a process.
• 20:31
  You have to accept it and embrace it.
• 20:33
  That's the only way. Right.
• 20:36
  I think my best advice for people, if you don't speak the
• 20:39
  language, of course you need to practice every day, but don't
• 20:42
  have any fear. Like no one's going to think,
• 20:44
  oh, oh, you're stupid, you said that wrong.
• 20:46
  Like no, people understand that you're trying.
• 20:48
  And that's the biggest thing I. Have to say based on the
• 20:50
  experience depends on the country so.
• 20:56
  True. Maybe I'm just oblivious.
• 20:58
  I'm like just tell me the right. Word.
• 20:59
  So I'm telling you, I, I visit I'm in the South, middle South
• 21:04
  of Germany and I would do it's easier to travel to France
• 21:08
  because like 2 hours of a car drive, which is not that far
• 21:11
  away and also Switzerland in the South.
• 21:14
  So and we go often to Italy. Italy is like 5-6 hours away.
• 21:17
  So in Italy when you pretend to speak Italian, you just have to
• 21:20
  say get express or cappuccino. They are embracing you, they are
• 21:23
  talking to you, they are excited.
• 21:25
  When you go in French and you pretend to speak French, they
• 21:29
  hate the hell out of you. I got to try it.
• 21:33
  I got to try it. Unbelievable.
• 21:35
  It's unbelievable. So when I said bonjour and then
• 21:37
  I couldn't go on, he was like. You're.
• 21:42
  Fat. That's it.
• 21:44
  Yeah. So depends on the country, but
• 21:47
  you're right. I think that the important thing
• 21:49
  that I learned as well and the experience here is that you have
• 21:51
  to start to talk. It doesn't matter how wrong you
• 21:54
  are saying things, if you don't start to practice the the
• 21:57
  exercise will not be there. And even though for me, I, I
• 22:02
  moved here and I think the first three years I, I worked in
• 22:05
  projects only in English. And of course you hear German
• 22:08
  around, you're not in the meetings or not in the project
• 22:10
  meetings and so on, but you hear German around you.
• 22:12
  And I, I'll start to understand, but was almost impossible to say
• 22:16
  something. I was, I was there that I was in
• 22:19
  meetings in German, understanding everything and
• 22:21
  answering back in English. And I said, you don't want to
• 22:23
  speak. I said, it's not that you don't
• 22:24
  want to. It's like you, you feel like you
• 22:26
  have a, you have a lower IQ like.
• 22:29
  Right. Right.
• 22:31
  That's the feeling that you have, Adam.
• 22:33
  Have you had words, have you had expressions that were different
• 22:36
  in in Spanish? Then it is in the Spanish that
• 22:40
  you knew from Mexico? I would say so, but I'd say
• 22:44
  generally speaking, and it's all pretty similar, right?
• 22:47
  You could get you could get by. I think the, the worst Spanish
• 22:51
  that I speak is St. Spanish.
• 22:53
  So I, I don't speak St. Mexican Spanish, I don't speak
• 22:57
  St. Spain Spanish.
• 22:59
  So I think so long as we don't have St. conversations, I think
• 23:03
  we're good to go. There's some words that have
• 23:06
  completely different meanings and it's hilarious.
• 23:09
  I won't say, but it's been very entertaining learning these
• 23:13
  these two. Like even today we had a a mom
• 23:16
  come up and it was one of the girls school and she was
• 23:20
  describing and she said, Oh, la carpeta de musica.
• 23:24
  And he's like the the carpet. But I'm like, yeah, I would
• 23:27
  think Garpeta's carpet, but Alfondra's carpet and Garpeta's
• 23:30
  a folder. So it's just learning these,
• 23:33
  right? Absolutely, absolutely.
• 23:34
  And this comes only with practic this practice.
• 23:37
  So it doesn't come from any lessons.
• 23:39
  And and I think Adam, for you, like nobody at home in your
• 23:42
  family will teach you the streets word, the street words,
• 23:44
  no one, no one. Would teach the nasty naughty
• 23:47
  words, no? If you learned it with friends,
• 23:51
  it's different because that's the first thing that you learn,
• 23:53
  but in this case, it's maybe not the not the coolest one.
• 24:00
  What was the biggest culture shock?
• 24:02
  Was it the, I don't know, the late dinners?
• 24:05
  Was it the, I don't know the, the free healthcare?
• 24:08
  Was it the slower pace? Was it the siestas?
• 24:11
  What do you think that was for you?
• 24:12
  Something that you knew is there, but it was more real when
• 24:16
  you actually seen it. Yeah, for me by far was the
• 24:21
  Sobre Mesa. So when we first came, it was
• 24:23
  summertime. So obviously things are
• 24:25
  different in the summertime, but we would go out with friends or,
• 24:28
  or have some food, lunch, dinner, and we would just kept
• 24:34
  talking. And I'm not programmed that way.
• 24:37
  I'm programmed to be efficient with time and, and you're going
• 24:41
  to eat and you're going to maybe be there an hour Max.
• 24:44
  But we kept staying at the places and I'm like, hey, I got
• 24:47
  meetings, we have things to do. My butt sore.
• 24:51
  I need to get up and move, you know, I don't like to be in the
• 24:54
  one place at the first too long. So for me, it was sober de Mesa.
• 24:58
  I think now I could do sober de Mesa but every once in a while,
• 25:03
  not daily but but it's it's definitely a powerful thing to
• 25:07
  experience for sure. Yeah, for me, OK, So I still
• 25:13
  haven't given it up. I and summer is different than
• 25:17
  this fall winter season, right. But in the States, I've always
• 25:21
  gone to bed early. Like I'm at I go to bed early.
• 25:25
  I have kids. I don't mind going to bed when
• 25:27
  they go to bed and staying up till like not going out to
• 25:32
  dinner till 9:30 ten like that I cannot do maybe maybe on the
• 25:37
  weekend, maybe. But so I've I've held onto the
• 25:42
  the American culture and me of going to bed early and I like
• 25:46
  waking up early. Even though nothing's open, I
• 25:48
  still like to wake up early and have my mornings.
• 25:51
  The other thing that is a culture shock that I knew that
• 25:53
  was going to happen is the ability and how amazing it is to
• 26:00
  just go out and get a cafe, a cafe con leche, and to enjoy it
• 26:05
  and to visit with people. And that the culture of just
• 26:08
  meeting up to have a quick bite or a pastry, a drink daily,
• 26:12
  multiple times a day is absolutely amazing.
• 26:16
  And I'm so excited that I'm experiencing that now.
• 26:18
  And I will be so sad if I ever go back to the States because I
• 26:21
  know that that's not the lifestyle there.
• 26:24
  Is there a big, big difference between the, let's say the two
• 26:26
  goal lifestyle from US and this, the staying in lifestyle from
• 26:30
  from Europe is such a huge difference?
• 26:32
  Yes, yes, yeah. Even today we went to a place
• 26:37
  called El Cafe de de Camilo and it's right by our house and we
• 26:43
  ordered a coffee to go because we had to go pick up our
• 26:47
  daughter. And then we also had to get some
• 26:48
  work done. And I, I ordered it to go but
• 26:52
  then 3 ladies came in and they ordered Cafe and then the the
• 26:57
  lady that was working there had started talking to us.
• 26:59
  So then it just became a beautiful conversation and
• 27:02
  everyone was laughing and everyone was telling stories.
• 27:06
  So there was a part of me that was like, hey, could I pay now
• 27:10
  so we could get on with our day? But then you start to transition
• 27:15
  into this lifestyle of like, just be present.
• 27:18
  This is a beautiful moment. And everyone's laughing, having
• 27:21
  a good time. So, you know, I think I get
• 27:24
  mixed, I get caught between worlds.
• 27:26
  But it's it's pretty cool to to experience.
• 27:30
  I think it's a, it's a habit that is developing, right?
• 27:32
  So it will not be overnight. I had someone in one of the
• 27:35
  previous episodes was also from US, from, from the East Coast,
• 27:39
  so from, from North Carolina and they moved to, they moved to
• 27:43
  Madrid. And they actually said the same,
• 27:45
  that the late dinners, the late dinners are something that they,
• 27:48
  they said it's first, the stomach could not, could not
• 27:52
  digest the food. It was so late that and then
• 27:56
  somehow you got habit. You get, you get used to it, you
• 27:59
  get used to it. And then you cannot eat at 6:00
• 28:01
  PM because I think that's too early.
• 28:02
  That makes no sense. What about The Walking lifestyle
• 28:09
  of Spain? Of Europe in general?
• 28:12
  I'm a huge fan, huge fan. So when we were back home, this
• 28:18
  is a kind of a joke, kind of not, but maybe I'd get like a
• 28:21
  600 to 1000 steps a day. I mean, horrible, but we would
• 28:26
  spend, we would wake up on Saturday and Sunday mornings and
• 28:30
  and do it. We go walking.
• 28:32
  We'd go walking and people like, oh, you guys like to walk?
• 28:35
  Yeah, we love walking here. It's every day.
• 28:39
  And I'm so obsessed with it because walking is like one of
• 28:42
  my favorite pastimes. I just love it.
• 28:44
  I love people watching. I love looking at the buildings.
• 28:47
  It's just a great way to take things in.
• 28:49
  Yeah, we're, we're walking like 5 to 8 miles every day just
• 28:54
  because we got to take trips to the schools and to pick up the
• 28:57
  kids and to run an errand here, go there.
• 28:59
  And I absolutely love it. I feel healthy and you get to be
• 29:03
  outside and be social. Even if you're not talking,
• 29:06
  you're still social. You're surrounded by the energy
• 29:09
  of the restaurants and the eye contact and the people.
• 29:12
  And one of my favorite things, and I wanted to ask, I don't
• 29:16
  know, thinking back now to the United States, like we're very
• 29:18
  car dependent and like for the older people for for our great,
• 29:24
  like our little oldies, you know, if they're can't drive,
• 29:28
  they don't get out and about. And I see, you know, older men
• 29:32
  and women here meeting and having coffee.
• 29:34
  And I think, wow, they have a much more social life.
• 29:36
  It's much more healthy for them. So it just warms my heart to see
• 29:40
  it every day. Yeah, so that's a good point.
• 29:42
  So I heard, maybe I'm mistaken, but I heard that the biggest
• 29:45
  cause of death in the United, not biggest cause, but one of
• 29:49
  the big reasons for, for early death is like a loss of balance
• 29:53
  in older people. So as soon as they start losing
• 29:55
  balance, you start breaking down, you start breaking bones
• 29:57
  and then it starts declining from there.
• 29:59
  I just had lunch, not lunch. I had a, an afternoon with a 93
• 30:04
  year old woman here in Valencia and she's walking.
• 30:09
  And that's the difference. The older generations or the
• 30:12
  older individuals who are walking, walking, walking, their
• 30:14
  muscles are strong. They, they, they outlast all of
• 30:17
  us. And I wanted to pull this up
• 30:20
  yesterday. I walked 2424 thousand steps,
• 30:25
  24,000 steps yesterday. So it's a dream.
• 30:29
  I think, Adam, what you're saying is absolutely correct.
• 30:32
  I think we we are, I don't want to say the old persons, but the,
• 30:37
  the people after a certain age, they give up on them on on
• 30:40
  themselves, unfortunately. And they think, you know what?
• 30:43
  I cannot drive anymore. I I don't have anything to do
• 30:45
  outside. As I said, we go, we go off to
• 30:47
  Italy Spains a bit too far away, but to go off to Italy and Italy
• 30:50
  has somehow the same cultures and the same habits and what I
• 30:53
  enjoy. And this is what I'm telling my
• 30:55
  wife as well. This is how I want to get old.
• 30:57
  Like I, I see people walking in the city like with fancy
• 31:01
  clothes, like 1890 people and 8090 year old people with fancy
• 31:05
  clothes like going out to have dinner, to have to have a glass
• 31:08
  of wine and to walk there to walk home to not being not
• 31:12
  needed. I don't know.
• 31:13
  The other thing is called The Walking helper and so on.
• 31:16
  And this is something which is, which is amazing.
• 31:18
  And I think it's just because of this, of this constant walking
• 31:21
  And I, I realized I was, I was in the US and I, I want to go
• 31:25
  for a run and I, I, I almost didn't had more than I think I
• 31:29
  managed to do 1.2 miles, 1.5 miles.
• 31:31
  And then there was no more path and I had to go back and forth,
• 31:34
  back and forth because that's the only thing that I had like
• 31:37
  there was. Yeah, and people are addicted to
• 31:41
  their TV screens and their couches.
• 31:42
  They they upgrade their couch, they upgrade their chairs
• 31:45
  because that's where they're going to spend most of their
• 31:47
  time. Whereas here life is is
• 31:50
  experienced outside so. I think the combination and then
• 31:54
  between this grinding and this sitting, I think it makes the
• 31:57
  worst out of it because you are grinding, you are constantly
• 32:00
  stressed and then instead of releasing that stress, going to
• 32:03
  try to move a bit, going to try to go outside.
• 32:05
  You sit and you just ZAP your TV or even dumb scroll TikTok or
• 32:11
  Instagram or whatever would be. And that's I think not healthy
• 32:14
  on the long track, right? You said about the locals.
• 32:21
  You said that you're getting in contact with the locals For me,
• 32:27
  and I'm giving you now my experience in the US going on
• 32:30
  the East Coast from from the north to the South.
• 32:32
  I have to say that going towards the South, the kindness of
• 32:35
  people increased. Like I felt a different kind of
• 32:37
  welcome when I was in the South towards Florida, maybe a bit
• 32:42
  north of Florida. What's the how do you see this
• 32:46
  difference between between California and Spain?
• 32:48
  Do you see the difference or you say it's kind of the same?
• 32:54
  I'm going to say this, I think Southern California, we're very
• 32:59
  warm, we're very welcoming. We're we're going to give you a
• 33:01
  hug. We want to know about your kids,
• 33:03
  your family, how's life going? So I think it's pretty
• 33:06
  comparable here in Spain. But also that's how Gabby and I
• 33:10
  are. If we're seeing you on the
• 33:11
  streets, we're going to hug you, right?
• 33:13
  So I don't know, it's, it's almost like they say that we
• 33:16
  mirror each other. So Gabby and I are lucky that
• 33:19
  we're always experiencing warm and kind people.
• 33:22
  And I I don't know if that's because we project that or.
• 33:27
  Yeah, and maybe it's, you know, trying to think maybe it's the
• 33:30
  warmer climate. Southern California is warm, the
• 33:32
  South of Spain we're warm. Florida, the South is warm.
• 33:35
  We got it feels good to be outside.
• 33:38
  We're happy we're not freezing our butts off.
• 33:40
  You know, we're not just cold. I keep saying this since I'm
• 33:43
  living in Germany, I understand why the English guys are
• 33:46
  drinking the hell out of them. Because you cannot be happy in
• 33:49
  that weather. Sorry.
• 33:51
  There is. That's the only way.
• 33:52
  Alcohol is the only way. Everything else is a joke.
• 33:55
  Right. I think that sorry.
• 33:58
  Please go on. Oh, no, I was just, you know,
• 34:00
  growing up in California. That's just like second nature
• 34:03
  to us. A lot of people that have come
• 34:05
  to California or Southern California, either from outside
• 34:07
  the country to come visit, they go, wow, you Southern
• 34:10
  Californians are really like warm, welcoming.
• 34:13
  You say hello to strangers, you, you offer help.
• 34:15
  And I'm like, yeah, I thought that was just normal, but I
• 34:18
  guess it's not. No, no, no.
• 34:21
  How was your first? How was your first grocery
• 34:25
  experience? So I think that's a major gap
• 34:29
  between US and the Europe grocery style.
• 34:32
  Right, the grocery, right. OK, I'm going to take this one
• 34:37
  first because I I love food. I love to cook.
• 34:39
  I love going to grocery stores where we are in Valencia, we are
• 34:44
  steps away from the biggest indoor market in all of Europe
• 34:49
  and it's like heaven, heaven. And so I think that's probably
• 34:54
  all I talked about for the first month to friends and family.
• 34:56
  It was like, Oh my, my gosh, this produce, there is no
• 35:00
  organic section. It's all organic, you know, and
• 35:04
  the flavors, the color, the the price, amazing.
• 35:10
  So I have not been let down by Spain regarding the quality of
• 35:18
  food by far extremely better than the United States.
• 35:22
  The variety is amazing and I give it 12 out of 10. 12 out of
• 35:27
  10. You are not missing the fast
• 35:29
  food. No, so interestingly enough, our
• 35:34
  our daughters wanted like Burger King and, and I tried the Burger
• 35:39
  King and I remember thinking like, you know, it's not
• 35:42
  horrible, but my body is kind of done with this whole fast food
• 35:46
  culture. So I don't, I think I did Burger
• 35:48
  King once. I did Popeye's once.
• 35:52
  Popeye's was actually pretty good here.
• 35:53
  So I'm not going to hate on Popeye's, but the body doesn't
• 35:57
  crave that anymore. Back home.
• 36:02
  I think you get accustomed to less quality.
• 36:06
  You know, if you want to go to Whole Foods or you want to get
• 36:09
  the top organic stuff, it's going to cost you a pretty
• 36:11
  penny. Whereas here it's it's so
• 36:14
  accessible and you start to get accustomed to really good
• 36:19
  quality food. So I think that's the biggest
• 36:22
  shift for for us or for me rather.
• 36:24
  Yeah. And then like going to a grocery
• 36:26
  store and I want to see what's inside the package or what's,
• 36:30
  what are the ingredients. It's a very simple, I can read
• 36:34
  every ingredient. It's not a list of 50 things.
• 36:37
  And if it is, they make it very clear that, hey, there's
• 36:39
  preservatives in here, there's this in here, but that's very
• 36:43
  abnormal. So the body has adjusted well.
• 36:48
  The food has sat very well with us and like I said, convenience.
• 36:53
  Like restaurants are open till very late at night and there's
• 36:56
  something to eat. Every other door is a restaurant
• 36:59
  or a little cafe, and so your ability to just grab something
• 37:02
  fresh and easy you there's no problem.
• 37:06
  I think that this that was Spain has this tapas is the actual
• 37:10
  concept of fast food if you ask me.
• 37:11
  So that's what I see as fast food.
• 37:14
  Right, right. It's actually the same, like you
• 37:16
  said. Yeah, It's something that you
• 37:17
  can grab and eat fast. Like you don't have to sit at a
• 37:19
  table, just grab a snack and can move on with your day.
• 37:23
  Yeah. And I have to say, Adam, I fully
• 37:25
  understand what you mean. I was a KFC addict.
• 37:29
  I have a history with overweight and so on, but I was a KFC
• 37:32
  addict so I loved it and I, I haven't had it.
• 37:35
  I don't know in, I don't know 7-8 years and then I.
• 37:37
  Nice. I had it again and I realized,
• 37:40
  Oh my God. This The the, the, the after
• 37:42
  taste. The after taste.
• 37:44
  It's yeah, but like when you are used to it, just pull it in.
• 37:51
  It's perfect. Sure, sure.
• 37:53
  Yeah. Is there something that you miss
• 37:55
  from US food wise? Yes.
• 38:00
  Oh yeah. For me, like spice chila chila
• 38:07
  salsa, I mean I can make it kind of when you find some hot
• 38:14
  Chiles, but I just can't. You know, you back home is
• 38:17
  California, you can go to any any market and on the road side
• 38:21
  of the road and pick up a beautiful little container of
• 38:25
  freshly made salsa and out here we don't have it.
• 38:29
  Yeah, I, I agree with her. You know, even even the, one of
• 38:32
  Spain's most popular dishes, Patatas barabas, it's alluding
• 38:36
  to the fact that they are spicy potatoes and they're not at all.
• 38:40
  So, So I, I think you, you, I, I, you know, I, I definitely
• 38:44
  miss the spice of, of Mexican food or even Indian food.
• 38:49
  We love Indian food. And here a lot of the Indian
• 38:52
  food is on the more sweet side, like more sugar.
• 38:56
  So I I miss the spice for sure. Guys, I I feel you.
• 38:59
  Germany. Nobody in Germany can handle
• 39:02
  spice. Nobody, like literally nobody.
• 39:04
  And I, I, I love the spicy food I ordered from from Internet.
• 39:09
  And if you know the show hot ones are these guys on YouTube.
• 39:12
  Oh yeah, yeah, I ordered those sauces.
• 39:14
  Just that I have something really spicy to be able to eat
• 39:17
  because there's nothing. And recently there was an Indian
• 39:20
  place which opened not far away from us.
• 39:22
  Like I can tell him give me something spicy and he gave me
• 39:27
  something spicy. Nice.
• 39:29
  Nice. And you know, it's funny, like a
• 39:30
  colleague of mine told me, when you go to a store and say give
• 39:33
  you something spicy, ask him, is it German spicy or is it real
• 39:36
  spicy? Right, it's true.
• 39:39
  It's true. I that's I go to the market, it
• 39:42
  says El Chile espicante and they say si si.
• 39:45
  I say no picante like the Espana or the the, you know, South
• 39:51
  America, No sort of. OK, I think these are things.
• 39:59
  So I have to be honest. What I love in the US, and I
• 40:01
  don't consider it fast food and you might say that I'm wrong,
• 40:04
  but I love Chipotle. Chipotle is good.
• 40:11
  I actually, I actually like, I love the concept of Chipotle.
• 40:14
  Don't get him right. He loves Chipotle.
• 40:16
  No, this This man loves Chipotle.
• 40:19
  That's that's why. And their green Tabasco salsa
• 40:23
  and lemons on his burrito bowl. But that, but that.
• 40:26
  But that green Tabasco, that that sauce, it's, it's.
• 40:30
  It's phenomenal. Adam, I have hope.
• 40:33
  Adam, I have, I have hope for you.
• 40:35
  So in Frankfurt, in Frankfurt, in this Europe, there is one
• 40:39
  Chipotle and it's in Frankfurt. If you ever come to Germany, in
• 40:44
  Frankfurt there is one Chipotle. We're going.
• 40:47
  It's not as good as the one that you know.
• 40:50
  But. It's kind of the thing that you
• 40:54
  are used to, so. I I used to, I used to eat
• 40:57
  Chipotle more times than I should have.
• 41:02
  But let's go, let's go. It's good.
• 41:04
  You can pick your, your, your, your, your macros.
• 41:07
  Let's say like this. You can pick your carbs, you can
• 41:09
  pick your vegetables, you can pick your your protein.
• 41:11
  So I don't see any bad thing in Chipotle.
• 41:14
  Of course you do. You should not take the chips,
• 41:16
  you should not take the bread and so on.
• 41:17
  That's different topic. But besides that, I don't see
• 41:20
  this fast food concept inside Chipotle.
• 41:22
  Yeah. Well, there's a place here
• 41:24
  that's called burrito. Like it's literally called
• 41:26
  burrito. Like a little bit.
• 41:27
  Of it's kind of Chipotle esque, but it's not Chipotle.
• 41:36
  When was the moment after you landed?
• 41:38
  You came in, you said, and you, you took the girls in school and
• 41:42
  you said, oh holy crap, I think we are here.
• 41:47
  You know, to be honest, I have not had my holy crap moment yet.
• 41:55
  I'm sorry. I know, right?
• 41:59
  So I think because every day is a new discovery, every day is
• 42:05
  non-stop with navigating a new system, looking for something,
• 42:10
  getting something settled. We're still in that phase.
• 42:12
  I'm still in that phase. The one thing I will tell you
• 42:16
  that I did because our youngest daughter was asking like, where
• 42:20
  is New Zealand in regards to where we are?
• 42:23
  So I pulled up on my phone a picture of the map by enlarge
• 42:26
  it. I started, you know, turning the
• 42:28
  world and that's when it hit me though I was, I looked really
• 42:31
  quick and I'm like, see, we're here.
• 42:33
  And I got a glimpse of the United States in California.
• 42:35
  And I shut the map because that's the only time I kind of
• 42:38
  realized we are freaking living in Spain way far away.
• 42:42
  So I'm not going to look at a map for a very long time.
• 42:45
  Not ready yet? It's a kind of the real I don't.
• 42:50
  For me was the first night. So we got, we arrived in
• 42:53
  Barcelona and, and our oldest daughter wanted to look at
• 43:00
  perfume and we were kind of settling in at the airport.
• 43:04
  And I knew we had to get to the, the train station to head to
• 43:07
  Valencia. And we had all of our big
• 43:10
  luggage with our cat and we're racing to get to the train
• 43:14
  station to, to take a train to, to Valencia.
• 43:19
  And things just weren't working out.
• 43:21
  And we were running, running, running to the train station to,
• 43:24
  to get our ticket and we missed the train.
• 43:28
  So that moment, it breaks my heart even thinking about it
• 43:32
  because our nine year old, she was crying because she tried so
• 43:36
  hard to run and to get to the train station to make the train
• 43:40
  and we didn't make it. So as a father, there was the
• 43:43
  weight of that world of our nine year old crying because of that
• 43:47
  moment. So in that moment, it was like,
• 43:49
  OK, wake up, this is serious. Now we're in a new country.
• 43:54
  You have to be ready for for this move.
• 43:58
  And I think that was a moment for me when it's like, OK, this
• 44:01
  is real. We have our whole life in these
• 44:04
  bags with our cat and game on. You know, this is the start of a
• 44:10
  new adventure. So that was that was the moment
• 44:12
  for me. You didn't mention before that
• 44:15
  you came with the cat, because now I have to ask you, how
• 44:17
  complicated was it? Oh my God.
• 44:21
  OK, I think I was the most stressed out about the Dang cat.
• 44:27
  I was. I was, the weeks leading up, I
• 44:30
  was stressed like how is he going to survive this plane ride
• 44:33
  and this little tiny carrier? Because that's the size that the
• 44:36
  airline will allow. He's going to he's going to fly
• 44:39
  with us and even the days, couple of days before his health
• 44:43
  certificate hadn't come in, freaking UPS lost it.
• 44:46
  They couldn't find it. They're like, I'm sorry, we're
• 44:48
  just going to have to get it to you later.
• 44:50
  I'm like, you understand, I'm not leaving on vacation.
• 44:53
  I'm leaving the freaking country for good.
• 44:55
  I need the damn certificate. Anyways, we get through that
• 44:58
  hurdle and then on the plane, it was a long journey.
• 45:00
  I mean, he he was in his little carrier for 16 plus, you know,
• 45:05
  hours and he's part of the family.
• 45:06
  So I'm, I'm worried. Is he hydrated?
• 45:09
  Halfway, halfway through our journey.
• 45:11
  By the time we got to Lisbon, I kind of forgot.
• 45:13
  I mean, he's there with us and I have him.
• 45:16
  I may have dropped him in the carrier because I'm racing to
• 45:19
  get to the gate, forgetting I have a cat.
• 45:21
  I'm worrying about the kids and the luggage.
• 45:23
  But he survived. He survived.
• 45:26
  I survived. It was stressful, but he did
• 45:29
  amazing actually. Animals are resilient, just like
• 45:31
  children. Kids are resilient, Animals are
• 45:33
  resilient. And he's thriving.
• 45:35
  He's living in his best indoor Spanish cat life now, so.
• 45:39
  That's also funny. That's why I'm asking you
• 45:42
  because I know usually it's so complicated to get a pet over
• 45:47
  the border, especially when you do it overseas.
• 45:49
  So it's always a rocket science. And of course you have, you have
• 45:53
  also the stress part because you think, OK, what's happening with
• 45:55
  it? What, what do we have it do?
• 45:57
  We still not we, we not have it anymore.
• 46:00
  This is safe and so on. And it makes everything so
• 46:03
  complicated. I had someone with they had to
• 46:05
  stay I think longer we one month in Europe because they wouldn't
• 46:10
  allow pet transport during the summer.
• 46:12
  Oh. Wow.
• 46:14
  Because when you have a big dog and it has to go in the in the
• 46:18
  luggage area of the airplane, they said that during take off
• 46:22
  and landing it can be off to 50 and or 6040 or 50° like Celsius.
• 46:27
  Yes. And then it's too, it's too
• 46:28
  dangerous. Yeah, for the animals.
• 46:30
  And then they had to extend with one month to stay in Europe so
• 46:33
  that they can, they can go back up.
• 46:36
  So yeah, you arrived and you took the, you took the kids to
• 46:42
  school. How was how was the how's the
• 46:44
  kids adaptation to the new life? Oh gosh.
• 46:48
  You want to? Yeah, we'll, we'll go with 9
• 46:51
  year old. We, we drop off the 9 year old
• 46:55
  and we asked her how her day was and surprisingly she's like, the
• 46:59
  food was amazing. I had English speaking friends
• 47:03
  that helped me out. I I the English teacher told me
• 47:07
  to teach the other Spanish students English.
• 47:10
  Class. So she's like, I'm in advanced
• 47:13
  English. So she was excited.
• 47:15
  She was excited and we're like, oh cool.
• 47:17
  We didn't think it was going to be that positive.
• 47:19
  Our 14 year old, she was fighting it.
• 47:23
  And in the beginning she didn't want to go the first day.
• 47:26
  She postponed her first day to the next day.
• 47:32
  But I think, I think naturally it's just it was harder for the
• 47:36
  14 year old to navigate. She doesn't speak fluent
• 47:39
  Spanish, navigating relationships with the students,
• 47:42
  navigating, understanding what the teacher was saying.
• 47:45
  But now she's such a quick learner and she's also self
• 47:48
  disciplined. So she's she's able to ride the
• 47:51
  waves a lot better than she she was at first.
• 47:53
  So it's night and day. You have the 9 year old that was
• 47:56
  all jacked and fired up and then and then the 14 year old who was
• 48:00
  navigating a lot more difficult time for obvious reasons.
• 48:04
  I think 14 is a, is a complicated age.
• 48:08
  Yep. And I, I think when you have to
• 48:10
  go through that in a different country, far away from your
• 48:13
  friends, like when you, when you think with 14, you have lifetime
• 48:16
  friends, like you don't know that when the school is
• 48:18
  finished, the friendship is finished.
• 48:20
  Like you don't know that you're not aware of that.
• 48:22
  And I think that's the biggest issue.
• 48:23
  And how, how do they get along with the kids?
• 48:26
  They've managed to make friends for people that they are
• 48:30
  spending time with. So for the 9 year old right now,
• 48:34
  she's already been invited to a couple of birthday parties
• 48:36
  within the class. So that has been great.
• 48:38
  And now our, our conversations have developed into, oh, I was
• 48:44
  it's, you know, it's always a core group of girls students
• 48:47
  that she's always talking about. So that's like her little crew
• 48:50
  at school. And then, you know, we're at the
• 48:52
  step now is like, I need you to get so and so's mom's number
• 48:55
  because we want to hang out outside of school.
• 48:58
  So she, you know, it's starting to develop.
• 49:00
  I'm like perfect Isabella. She talks about students in her
• 49:04
  school in her class. And she says the girls are
• 49:06
  really nice. Like she has fun with them.
• 49:08
  They haven't bridged that gap of hanging out outside of school.
• 49:12
  But she also plays club volleyball, and that has been
• 49:15
  amazing. So she has hung out with some of
• 49:17
  the girls on her volleyball team outside of volleyball.
• 49:21
  They've gone to a few games other than their own.
• 49:24
  And so little by little, things are starting to connect for both
• 49:29
  of them. Other parents we've talked to
• 49:31
  that are expats and that have been here for a few years say,
• 49:35
  you know, it really takes about a year for that whole friendship
• 49:39
  and connection to blossom. And then once it does, it's just
• 49:42
  non-stop. It's like a flood.
• 49:44
  But they say you really multiple, just really got to
• 49:46
  ride it out for a year and then it starts happening.
• 49:49
  You mentioned Gabby, you mentioned the the birthday
• 49:51
  parties. Do you see them different than
• 49:53
  you know them from US? So I mean, yeah, I feel like
• 50:01
  they're fun. They're of course, birthday
• 50:04
  parties in the States were fun. I don't want to say they're
• 50:07
  toned down. It's a lot more simple, but in
• 50:11
  the sense that it's just pure enjoyment for the kids and it's
• 50:13
  very organized. The parents say, all right,
• 50:16
  you're like the whole class is invited.
• 50:18
  Let me know who's, you know, RSVP if you can come.
• 50:22
  So you do, you show up. It's usually kind of like either
• 50:25
  at a park or a small like room hall has been rented and, and
• 50:31
  they say, oh, you can just leave the kids.
• 50:32
  It's organized. We have somebody watching it.
• 50:34
  We have a whole organized, you know, evening for the kids.
• 50:37
  They'll be fed and you come pick them up at this time or you can
• 50:39
  hang out, whatever you want to do.
• 50:42
  All the parties we've been to, the parents don't hang out, they
• 50:44
  leave. So at first it's kind of like we
• 50:47
  don't know the area. We don't know these people.
• 50:49
  I, our kids don't know our Spanish phone numbers.
• 50:52
  So we kind of linger. But the one thing that I haven't
• 50:56
  experienced yet, but I know it's coming in the States, you bring
• 51:00
  a personal birthday gift for the the kid.
• 51:05
  But in Spain, I've been told that everybody sends like for my
• 51:09
  for my state people a zell or like a bism bizoom bizoom to to
• 51:15
  the parents. You send a small amount of
• 51:17
  money. Everybody sends the money and
• 51:19
  the parents are able to buy one large gift for for the birthday
• 51:22
  person. I love that.
• 51:25
  I think that's freaking phenomenal.
• 51:27
  No stress. The parents can get a large gift
• 51:29
  for the kid whatever they want. I think it's good.
• 51:32
  In Germany, what they say, so I have to I when you said this,
• 51:36
  this thing you mentioned that you have to leave your kid first
• 51:39
  time I had a huge discussion with my wife because I said I'm
• 51:41
  not able to leave the kid there. Actually, I don't know those
• 51:44
  guys. I don't care that they know each
• 51:45
  other from kindergarten. I don't care.
• 51:47
  I right, I don't, I just don't care.
• 51:49
  And like I live in Germany, they invite said they have to be
• 51:53
  there at 10:15 and they have to be picked up at 1415.
• 51:58
  I live in Germany. I'm telling again.
• 52:01
  And I was there. I was there 1016.
• 52:03
  There was a You're late. Oh my gosh.
• 52:08
  I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I will manage.
• 52:12
  Try to do because you think, OK, 1015 means like, man, we talk
• 52:16
  about kids, give me a 5 minute window, like a 10 minute window,
• 52:19
  right, You're late. I'm sorry.
• 52:23
  It will never happen again. And I learn now and I then we
• 52:27
  had our son's birthday and guys, I've never seen something like
• 52:31
  this. So it was two, it was all there
• 52:34
  at the same time. Wow.
• 52:37
  And this is something which is confusing at the beginning, but
• 52:39
  you get used to it. Like it's, it's like this.
• 52:44
  And with the presents, because you mentioned the presents, they
• 52:48
  share a shopping list. And for example, they share a
• 52:54
  shopping list, either Amazon, either they cut loan if they
• 52:57
  want to have a bike, for example, or something bigger
• 52:59
  than you say, OK, just, and you can, you can buy in the present.
• 53:03
  Like you can decide your amount and just add in the present.
• 53:06
  Like you say, I want to take part in the bike with, I don't
• 53:08
  know, €20 or something. This.
• 53:09
  And then you're, and this is also I'm fully with you.
• 53:12
  Instead of me bringing him a toy that most most probably not be
• 53:15
  using it, then I it's better that I take part in the in the
• 53:19
  bigger gift feels much. Better.
• 53:21
  I like that a lot. I love that.
• 53:23
  I think that's great. Now I think that like we got to
• 53:26
  invite the the German people to a Mexican birthday party.
• 53:31
  They're going to lose their mind because nobody shows up on time.
• 53:35
  People show up about one hour, 2 hours later.
• 53:38
  Guys, I work in an international department of a company and we
• 53:42
  have meetings with the guys from Portugal, Spain.
• 53:44
  I keep telling them guys no, they are not on time.
• 53:47
  No, don't even expect it. It's a cultural thing.
• 53:50
  You have to accept it. That's it.
• 53:52
  It is how it is. Don't, Why are you stressing?
• 53:55
  But they are not on time. We know and we know that from
• 53:58
  the beginning. Don't stress.
• 54:00
  Exactly the biggest thing out here in Spain that I've learned.
• 54:05
  No Pasanada. No, Pasanada, don't.
• 54:06
  Worry about it. And so if it's me showing up
• 54:09
  late to reservations, no pasanada.
• 54:12
  But when I hear no Pasanada when it comes to like paperwork and
• 54:15
  appointment times and I freak out, I'm like, come on, we got
• 54:18
  it, let's go. We need efficiency.
• 54:20
  I don't want no pasanada. I want to do it.
• 54:23
  No Pasanada is always there. Yeah, I heard no Pasanada as
• 54:26
  well. Do the girls ever mention like
• 54:31
  that they are missing home? Definitely the the 14 year old
• 54:36
  for sure. You know, we haven't heard that
• 54:39
  in a couple weeks, but you know, it's, it's a day by day process.
• 54:46
  Not so much from the 9 year old. I think 9 year olds live in the
• 54:49
  moments a lot more than a 14 year old would.
• 54:52
  But yeah, I mean, you have to realize that coming from the
• 54:57
  United States, United States has a lot of cliche moments in time.
• 55:01
  And that's your freshman year in high school and then the Friday
• 55:04
  Night Football games and and then the the dances.
• 55:08
  So there's a lot of stereotypical moments in a
• 55:11
  teenager's life that, you know, you could experience through pop
• 55:16
  culture just in general. So when she sees her other
• 55:18
  friends going through those moments, of course you're going
• 55:23
  to potentially miss that, right? Even navigating holidays, right?
• 55:28
  So we have a certain way that we're accustomed to celebrating
• 55:31
  holidays and a lot of that is with family and friends out
• 55:35
  here. It's going to look a little
• 55:36
  different, but I'm really big on saying like, OK, it's going to
• 55:39
  look different, but let's focus on learning the culture and how
• 55:44
  we can celebrate this holiday in a new way, in a new tradition.
• 55:48
  Let's just focus on that instead of focusing on what we don't
• 55:51
  have here. It's what newness we can
• 55:54
  experience out here. And then I think too, the
• 55:57
  newness, we're going to take a, a flight to Rome next week.
• 56:00
  See, so these are things like you can't get when you're living
• 56:03
  in the United States, you can't go to Italy for, for, for a
• 56:06
  couple of days in a weekday for two and then a two hour flight.
• 56:11
  So it we're trying to like paint the picture of like, listen, you
• 56:14
  might be giving up a high school dance, but you're going to get
• 56:17
  Rome, you're going to get Paris, you're going to get the world.
• 56:20
  So it's a, it's definitely a day by day process, but I think
• 56:24
  overall we're we're adjusting pretty well.
• 56:27
  I think it's, it's, it's always a matter of, of, of, of
• 56:30
  balancing things like to see the pluses and the minuses because
• 56:33
  you always have it, you hide it at home, you have it when you go
• 56:36
  in a new country, you have it everywhere.
• 56:38
  You just have to learn how to balance them and to show them
• 56:40
  the benefits and not the negativity.
• 56:42
  And the positives are the most important.
• 56:46
  Guys. How do you feel that is the life
• 56:48
  in Spain compared to the one in in South California and from the
• 56:53
  affordabilities point of view? So affordability, I heard
• 56:58
  somebody say that living in Spain allows you to feel human.
• 57:03
  And when I heard that, I, it resonated with me because,
• 57:07
  because maybe in California, maybe in the United States, I
• 57:09
  don't want to over generalize, but we are in a machine.
• 57:13
  You're in a producing machine. If you're not producing, you're
• 57:15
  not worth, maybe you don't, you feel guilty if you're not
• 57:19
  constantly working, you're constantly on your grind, as you
• 57:21
  said. Whereas Spain, there's so many
• 57:24
  things that are a either free or affordable and the lifestyle,
• 57:29
  you don't always feel like you have to be producing or
• 57:32
  grinding. So it's a little bit more
• 57:34
  attention on living life, enjoying life, celebrating life.
• 57:39
  So from affordability, but I think just an overall mindset of
• 57:42
  lifestyle, you feel human, you feel like you're able to live a
• 57:46
  life that's worthy of of your time on earth.
• 57:50
  So I think that's the biggest difference.
• 57:52
  Right. And I think a lot of, I mean,
• 57:54
  it's just the economy that is right now.
• 57:56
  And I'm speaking from California or the United States as well,
• 57:59
  but many people you talk to, you know, say like we work and we
• 58:03
  work hard. And it's not so that we can the
• 58:06
  term of keeping up with the Joneses so we can have the best
• 58:09
  of the best. People are working hard just to
• 58:12
  afford the bare minimum lifestyle of food,
• 58:16
  transportation, housing. So that's, that's horrible when
• 58:21
  you're, you work so hard and you're doing it just so you can
• 58:26
  get by, so you can't even think about enjoying.
• 58:29
  It's not even a luxury, but just having that, the freedom to
• 58:32
  relax and to to indulge a little bit and eating out and taking
• 58:39
  small trips and having experiences with the family or
• 58:42
  getting, having get togethers, you know, those are all things
• 58:45
  that are now like, I don't know if we can do that.
• 58:48
  And that's sad because you want that.
• 58:49
  That's part of life. Or where people don't even take
• 58:52
  care of their health because they don't want to go bankrupt.
• 58:54
  Yeah. So it's kind of a twisted
• 58:56
  system, but it is unfortunately the reality for a lot of people.
• 59:03
  I think, I think that one of the nicest thing that I've heard was
• 59:05
  that, that the US and, and, and part of the Western Europe as
• 59:09
  well. So I can say for Germany, most
• 59:11
  of it is the same and, or for, I don't know.
• 59:14
  I think Germany is the best example because I know it is
• 59:16
  that people are leaving to work. There is no other motivation.
• 59:21
  There is no other things that they are focusing on.
• 59:23
  They are focusing tomorrow. I have to wake up, I have to go
• 59:25
  to work, I have to stay in the evening and then come home and
• 59:28
  that's it. And if you put it in comparison
• 59:31
  with the, with the Sultan of Europe, with Spain, with Italy,
• 59:34
  Portugal, people are working just to leave.
• 59:38
  So they are not, they are, they are just trying to, to get a, a
• 59:42
  good, a good food in the good dinner, a good glass of wine and
• 59:46
  that's it. So there is, there is no rocket
• 59:48
  science behind it. And I find that way of, of
• 59:51
  working, of doing things, I find it in interesting and better
• 59:55
  because I don't like you said, I think we are missing a lot of
• 59:58
  our life in this grinding process because it, the, the
• 1:00:02
  life is the one that is going by while you are trying to get
• 1:00:04
  another project, another PowerPoint, another Excel
• 1:00:07
  fielding and so on. And at the end, the, the, maybe
• 1:00:12
  the benefit is not there. And like you said, Gabriel, we
• 1:00:14
  got you had into the, this is economical situation that is
• 1:00:17
  everywhere. And I don't know exactly the US
• 1:00:20
  one, but also the retirement looks further away than it was
• 1:00:24
  before. And I think this makes things
• 1:00:26
  complicated because your motivation to do anything is
• 1:00:28
  gone. Like you, you don't know when
• 1:00:30
  it's gonna end, right? Right.
• 1:00:35
  How do you keep the contact with the family?
• 1:00:39
  With a WhatsApp, with Zooms, Instagram, they joke with us
• 1:00:43
  that, oh, we see you every day, you're on Instagram every day.
• 1:00:46
  Yeah, but I think you know, obviously phone calls,
• 1:00:50
  Whatsapps, Yeah, so. I think it's amazing, like, you
• 1:00:54
  know, if we moved 20 years earlier and forget it, you know,
• 1:00:58
  especially with the the girls, they're able, our oldest, she
• 1:01:01
  does have a phone, so she's able to WhatsApp and talk to her
• 1:01:05
  close friends in the States. And then our youngest, we've
• 1:01:07
  been able to set up Zooms for her.
• 1:01:10
  So she can sit there and chat for two hours.
• 1:01:12
  I don't know what they're talking about for two hours on
• 1:01:13
  the Zoom, but they visually get to see their friends, their
• 1:01:17
  grandparents, you know, aunts and uncles, so makes it nice.
• 1:01:22
  It's amazing. I think it's the the the
• 1:01:24
  technology is helping a lot in this situation.
• 1:01:26
  I think it's with if it's use it, if it's used right, it has
• 1:01:29
  to be in our benefit for sure. Do you feel, I know it's maybe
• 1:01:36
  it's a long shot, but one of the things that I I got heard, what
• 1:01:40
  I heard pretty often from the people moving out of the US was
• 1:01:43
  the safety that they felt in a different country.
• 1:01:46
  And I want to ask you something that you you realize every day,
• 1:01:52
  or you only realize it when you read about something that
• 1:01:54
  happened in the US. I'll speak on that.
• 1:02:00
  So we lived in a, you know, in a nice neighborhood, great
• 1:02:05
  community. But for some bizarre reason, if
• 1:02:11
  I was walking the dog or if I was just walking alone, you
• 1:02:15
  can't help but think, is this car going to shoot me?
• 1:02:20
  I mean, it's very bizarre. It's very bizarre to have these
• 1:02:23
  thoughts when you're living, when you're just living in a, in
• 1:02:27
  a, in a typically normal life. I'm not.
• 1:02:30
  Going to I'll I'll speak on it. You keep.
• 1:02:32
  Going, yeah. And then and then here you have,
• 1:02:35
  I have complete Peace of Mind. So obviously there's huge gun
• 1:02:40
  culture in the United States. Obviously there's a huge safety
• 1:02:43
  issue going on, and at the very least you have Peace of Mind
• 1:02:48
  knowing that that one variable is eliminated and that, you
• 1:02:52
  know, that variable being access to to so many guns.
• 1:03:00
  So yeah, I mean, to be very blunt with you, if I'm walking
• 1:03:04
  around at night, I still think in the United States, is this
• 1:03:07
  person going to potentially shoot me or do I have to look
• 1:03:10
  behind my back? So it's kind of a weird way to
• 1:03:14
  live, I think. So from like mom's perspective
• 1:03:19
  with the girls, Adam is right, we did move from a nice
• 1:03:24
  community, but it still was a small community.
• 1:03:27
  It still had its problems. I mean, I'm a crime scene
• 1:03:29
  investigator, so I understand. I understand.
• 1:03:32
  I worked in a city just on the other side of where we lived.
• 1:03:36
  So I knew it would go on day-to-day and I even still
• 1:03:41
  checking the news and staying up to date.
• 1:03:44
  One week after we moved out here, two people were shot and
• 1:03:47
  killed one day after the other in a park near our house.
• 1:03:52
  Gang violence. And yeah, that happens
• 1:03:54
  everywhere, but I'm like, it's not happening here in Valencia.
• 1:03:57
  That was my first thought. I'm like just down the street
• 1:03:59
  from us two people, 2 gang members were shot and killed in
• 1:04:02
  a park where children play. And so would I let my oldest
• 1:04:08
  say, hey, can I go to the store and you know, or can I go down
• 1:04:10
  to the the park and go walk with my friends in my head and back
• 1:04:15
  home? Absolutely not because of the
• 1:04:17
  random acts of violence, because being caught in the crossfire
• 1:04:21
  out here that switched automatically and it wasn't by
• 1:04:24
  choice. It kind of just happened.
• 1:04:27
  Kids have a lot more independence out here at a
• 1:04:31
  younger age. And so she is walking to school,
• 1:04:35
  she is walking far to volleyball.
• 1:04:37
  And we're still smart about it. We still take precautions.
• 1:04:42
  But that wouldn't be happening in the states where we lived.
• 1:04:46
  Absolutely not so. Is it hard to raise kids in the
• 1:04:50
  same area where you are doing your profession?
• 1:04:53
  I'm talking about the crime scene investigation part.
• 1:04:56
  Is it is it something that affects you when you when you
• 1:04:58
  realize, OK, this is like 10 minutes away from my house.
• 1:05:05
  Yes and no, because it's always, you know, in my, in my psyche
• 1:05:11
  where I was hyper aware of all the crimes that were constantly
• 1:05:16
  occurring, right? Robberies, assaults, homicides,
• 1:05:24
  but I also know that, you know, you can't live life in fear, but
• 1:05:27
  there were plenty of areas that I would never take the kids to
• 1:05:31
  and they never knew why. But I we just not going there
• 1:05:34
  because way too much activity. All right, so it did kind of
• 1:05:37
  affect on the sense of how I would operate and how the areas
• 1:05:40
  I would take the girls or let's go out to eat at this
• 1:05:43
  restaurant. Absolutely not.
• 1:05:46
  And they wouldn't have to know why, but it's like, oh, because
• 1:05:48
  I've worked for homicides within like, you know, a 500 foot
• 1:05:52
  radius of this area. So yeah, I, and that's one thing
• 1:05:57
  like I'm not doing crime scene out here.
• 1:05:59
  So my mind has shifted a little bit.
• 1:06:01
  My psyche has shifted out here. I, I still have my antennas on,
• 1:06:05
  you know, and I, I get a sense of the community out here is
• 1:06:09
  amazing. Sure, bad things are going to
• 1:06:10
  happen happen, but it feels safe.
• 1:06:14
  It feels family oriented and there's so many good, good
• 1:06:21
  people outside on the streets having eyes on kids.
• 1:06:24
  And so I, I don't have this like fear of what could happen.
• 1:06:29
  Who's going to be out there? Are my kids in a caught in the
• 1:06:33
  crossfire of some sort of gang shooting?
• 1:06:36
  I I did said the story a few times in in the podcast, but I
• 1:06:40
  read Michelle Obama's book. And one of the things that
• 1:06:43
  impressed me in the book was that she said when the period
• 1:06:47
  when she was growing up, she had the feeling that she was
• 1:06:53
  educated by the neighborhood. Like if she was out in in the
• 1:06:58
  neighborhood, she was afraid to do something bad because the
• 1:07:00
  neighbor from there would call her mother and say, be careful.
• 1:07:03
  You know, Michelle did this and this and this.
• 1:07:04
  And when she when I was going home, I was getting like, I
• 1:07:08
  heard that you did this and that because Miss Miss Johnson called
• 1:07:11
  me and told me. And now, like, I hear what what
• 1:07:14
  Adam is saying that yeah, you know, I was walking my my dog or
• 1:07:18
  maybe I was walking with my kids in in my neighborhood.
• 1:07:20
  And I was thinking, do they have a gun?
• 1:07:24
  Is this community spirit gone in the US?
• 1:07:26
  I have to ask you like in a pure blunt way.
• 1:07:30
  I can't say. I can't say I don't want to
• 1:07:33
  speak about the USI could just speak about the city that we
• 1:07:36
  were in. I think the community was super
• 1:07:38
  strong where we lived, especially our neighborhood.
• 1:07:41
  You know, you, you can't get away with anything in our
• 1:07:44
  neighborhood back home. There was always somebody
• 1:07:46
  watching and making sure even when I was out of town on a work
• 1:07:49
  meeting or a business trip. Where's Adam?
• 1:07:51
  I haven't seen him in, I haven't seen his car in five days.
• 1:07:55
  So, you know, specifically for where we were, we had a strong
• 1:08:00
  community generalizing maybe communities living in the United
• 1:08:07
  States. I mean, obviously maybe people
• 1:08:09
  are more concerned with themselves and getting ahead and
• 1:08:11
  climbing the ladder and, and being the best.
• 1:08:14
  But you know, I'm a romantic and I, I tend to have hope and faith
• 1:08:19
  in, in the vision of the United States.
• 1:08:21
  Even though right now it doesn't seem recognizable, I think the
• 1:08:24
  vision of it, I still believe in the idea of it.
• 1:08:30
  So I'll keep the faith. I said it, I said it several
• 1:08:34
  times. I'm a, I'm AUS fanboy.
• 1:08:36
  I'm a typical US fanboy. I, I grew up with all the movies
• 1:08:39
  from the USI grew up with all the cliches from every movie of
• 1:08:42
  the USI know the yellow school buses.
• 1:08:44
  I know everything from the USI was fascinated by them.
• 1:08:47
  And, and I have to say either my, I'm a bit disappointed of,
• 1:08:51
  of the direction that, that the country is heading towards now.
• 1:08:54
  And we don't talk about politics because that's that's maybe so
• 1:08:58
  subjective that nobody wants to address.
• 1:08:59
  But generally the, the amount of I don't want maybe hate is the
• 1:09:04
  right word, the fact that people are not talking to each other
• 1:09:07
  like they used to like this we have we, we, we are having other
• 1:09:11
  people, other persons fight between the neighbors, between
• 1:09:14
  inside the family. And this is something which is
• 1:09:16
  unhealthy on a long term. And it can only lead to a
• 1:09:20
  bigger, creating a big gap, a bigger gap in the society.
• 1:09:23
  And this is not something that I, I knew from the US.
• 1:09:26
  This is not something that I've seen in the movies.
• 1:09:28
  And more, more than that, you, you're raised up there.
• 1:09:32
  So you, you are saying I would say the same as me.
• 1:09:36
  And that's, that makes me sad. I have to.
• 1:09:38
  I have to be honest. Yeah.
• 1:09:40
  Yeah, I'm going to be naive though, and I and I do believe
• 1:09:44
  in a brighter future. I mean, I think everything has
• 1:09:46
  to go through its phases of darkness to get to the light.
• 1:09:49
  And I'm, I'm holding, I'm holding on to that because we
• 1:09:54
  do, we do appreciate the United States.
• 1:09:55
  We do love the United States. We don't bash the United States,
• 1:10:00
  but like I said, it's not recognizable right now.
• 1:10:03
  But I think there's a lot of hope for the future for sure.
• 1:10:06
  I'm afraid only that it will go. It will get worse before it will
• 1:10:09
  get better. That's my.
• 1:10:11
  I think so. That's my fear only.
• 1:10:14
  Which will brighten up the mood a little bit here our family
• 1:10:18
  members. I'm sorry for that.
• 1:10:19
  Really. No.
• 1:10:20
  Our family members like man, you guys take the perfect time and
• 1:10:26
  and this movement has nothing to do with politics, but they're
• 1:10:28
  like, you know what, this is the perfect time.
• 1:10:30
  You know, you guys are you guys did great.
• 1:10:32
  You guys are awesome so. It's, it's so important to have
• 1:10:35
  this conversation to mention it. A lot of times we don't talk
• 1:10:38
  about politics like no, we just talked about the state of the
• 1:10:41
  society. And this is important to say.
• 1:10:43
  And I think that's what's scary, not the politics.
• 1:10:47
  The politics is today like this tomorrow, this changing in
• 1:10:49
  different direction. Everyone has only his own
• 1:10:51
  interests. So let's be honest, it is how it
• 1:10:54
  is. And we, that's the, it's not the
• 1:10:56
  perfect system. It's the best system that we
• 1:10:58
  have until now. So it's democracy.
• 1:10:59
  And I keep saying, I keep saying the same, that US is the only
• 1:11:03
  country that haven't had the dictatorship in, in the history.
• 1:11:07
  And I hope it will stay the same.
• 1:11:10
  Yeah. Yeah, Agree.
• 1:11:13
  Agree. Agree.
• 1:11:14
  Guys, how did you, how did you manage to integrate the social
• 1:11:18
  life in Spain? Did you manage to make
• 1:11:19
  connections, to make friends? You mentioned the kids parents,
• 1:11:22
  which I know as well as a story, but they are the kids parents.
• 1:11:25
  They're not really your your friends, let's say like this in
• 1:11:29
  most of the cases. I'm gonna let you take it.
• 1:11:33
  You're my social butterfly right here.
• 1:11:35
  I am a serial inviter. I invite myself to everybody's
• 1:11:41
  house. If, if I meet somebody that's
• 1:11:44
  from Italy, I say, Oh my gosh, when are you going to invite us
• 1:11:47
  over for dinner? If, if I know someone from
• 1:11:50
  Colombia, the same thing. So I, I love people.
• 1:11:54
  I think, you know, my biggest jam on life is relationship
• 1:11:58
  building. So I love to connect with so
• 1:11:59
  many diverse people. And that's something that we've
• 1:12:02
  always had as, as a couple. So in terms of integrating,
• 1:12:06
  we've just been lucky with that. But also we've been intentional
• 1:12:09
  with wanting to connect with locals and have food, dinner
• 1:12:12
  with locals. And I want to learn.
• 1:12:14
  So I think just having that curiosity makes life easier
• 1:12:17
  because it makes the connections open up for you.
• 1:12:21
  Absolutely. Absolutely.
• 1:12:23
  By the way, if you have ever in Germany, you are more than
• 1:12:25
  welcome to a. Dinner.
• 1:12:27
  Oh, I've already. I've already invited myself to
• 1:12:29
  your house. So look, and now I understand
• 1:12:32
  why you are so open to to have this conversation because I I
• 1:12:36
  understand now everything makes sense.
• 1:12:37
  You see where we're? Going with this.
• 1:12:39
  So when I go to Germany, I'm gonna I'm gonna go get some
• 1:12:41
  Chipotle. I'm not, I'm not close from
• 1:12:45
  Frankfurt, but also not far away.
• 1:12:46
  OK, so just drop me. I will come and pick you up and
• 1:12:49
  we go to have nice Chipotle and Frank.
• 1:12:51
  Cheap bottle there. You already mentioned that you
• 1:12:56
  are trying to get to know the locals.
• 1:12:58
  And I think it's important because if you get to know
• 1:13:00
  experts, the next problem with the experts is that you don't
• 1:13:02
  know how long they are there. Like not everyone has the
• 1:13:05
  decision to stay like you. Most of the people are there
• 1:13:07
  because they have a job, they have a temporary worker
• 1:13:11
  arrangement. But do you have the feeling that
• 1:13:14
  the connection, when it's realized with the locals, it's
• 1:13:18
  better than with the experts? Because with the experts is
• 1:13:21
  less. It's quite movable.
• 1:13:25
  I can't say that it's going to be different.
• 1:13:28
  So, and I'm sorry for I have to take this with when you're
• 1:13:32
  connecting with locals, it's like a foundation you I feel
• 1:13:35
  like a part of the city I'm in. I feel like I'm a part of the
• 1:13:38
  country I'm in. So I feel fulfilled with with a
• 1:13:43
  deeper sense of belonging because of those connections.
• 1:13:46
  But having connections with expats is pretty cool because
• 1:13:52
  you have similar, similar mindset, right?
• 1:13:57
  Like, oh, you're crazy too. You left your country to move
• 1:14:00
  here. You don't think like other
• 1:14:02
  people that just stay in their hometown for the rest of their
• 1:14:06
  lives. So it's kind of cool.
• 1:14:09
  I love all people and there's a way to learn from the locals and
• 1:14:14
  other immigrants, expats. I think it's pretty awesome.
• 1:14:17
  You guys are connecting, like you said, with the locals.
• 1:14:19
  You're building this foundation. You feel that you are tapping
• 1:14:22
  into the culture and the richness of where you are and
• 1:14:25
  with the expats, like you're going through the same crap so
• 1:14:28
  you can connect on the same. You have that connection.
• 1:14:31
  I'm struggling there too, and so are you.
• 1:14:33
  So you understand you have this emotional connection with with
• 1:14:37
  the next path. I have to say the reason why I
• 1:14:40
  start this podcast was exactly this one to realize that I'm not
• 1:14:43
  the only one going through this crap.
• 1:14:45
  I'm not the only one doing that. I want to know the people that
• 1:14:48
  took the same decision and US and just say, you know what,
• 1:14:51
  duck it, Let's go. Let's see how it is.
• 1:14:53
  Let's see, just let's see. And I think that this attitude
• 1:14:57
  is something that is connecting you because you realize, you
• 1:14:59
  know, as I said before, the world is not is not as big as
• 1:15:02
  your village. And I go, I go, I realize quite
• 1:15:06
  often when I go back to my home village, to my home village in
• 1:15:09
  Romania that people are still there and they're the same
• 1:15:12
  people that I left 10 years ago, 15 years, nothing has changed
• 1:15:16
  nothing because they are their world is still that that small
• 1:15:19
  world. They are amazing in that world,
• 1:15:21
  don't get me wrong. And they are happy.
• 1:15:22
  And if they are choosing this, everyone should choose for
• 1:15:25
  themselves. But I think it's so important
• 1:15:28
  that you connect to the same crazy people like you said, like
• 1:15:31
  you say, you know, let's go what can happen.
• 1:15:34
  Nothing like we have to do this. I love it.
• 1:15:41
  What was the biggest change that you have seen in the way you're
• 1:15:44
  in in in your life since you move?
• 1:15:46
  Was it, I don't know the pace was the priorities that you that
• 1:15:49
  it changed since you moved to Spain?
• 1:15:52
  I don't think we have to talk about identity yet because
• 1:15:54
  you're not that since that long in Spain.
• 1:15:56
  But I think was it the space, the the pace of your life?
• 1:16:00
  Was it the priorities of your life?
• 1:16:02
  What do you think feels is different in the first first
• 1:16:04
  period of Spain? OK.
• 1:16:08
  For me, my own personal physiological change, I'm much
• 1:16:15
  more relaxed out here. I'm much less stress.
• 1:16:21
  Like what? I don't have to stress like I
• 1:16:23
  did back in the States because I'm not Go, go, go.
• 1:16:26
  So physiologically, I feel much better.
• 1:16:28
  I feel healthier. I feel rested.
• 1:16:30
  Like I think I'm making up for all the sleep I didn't get in
• 1:16:33
  the United States. And then I'm being pushed to.
• 1:16:41
  I'm being pushed out of my comfort zone.
• 1:16:43
  I was very confident in who I was as an individual in the
• 1:16:46
  United States. I knew who I was.
• 1:16:49
  And here I am out here now discovering many more, you know,
• 1:16:53
  new things about maybe what my weaknesses are and what my
• 1:16:57
  strengths are and having to push myself out of comfort zone to
• 1:17:00
  try and figure out XY and Z with the with the new language.
• 1:17:05
  And then as a mom, my 3rd Ave. Oh, it's amazing because I love
• 1:17:10
  being a mom and I love my girls. But I did have a career that was
• 1:17:13
  very demanding and I had to balance that and I wasn't always
• 1:17:17
  able to give my all to them. And now I'm in a position
• 1:17:21
  because of Spain and what I'm able to do out here.
• 1:17:25
  The simple things I always say, like I get to do our little
• 1:17:28
  one's hair in the morning like that never really happened
• 1:17:30
  because I was already at work. I get to ask, what do you want
• 1:17:32
  for breakfast? I get to make, you know, I get
• 1:17:34
  to nourish them with amazing meals and put, you know, my
• 1:17:37
  heart and passion into actually spending quality time with them.
• 1:17:41
  So I get to be a mom and it feels so good.
• 1:17:44
  I think for me, similar to what she said, it's, it's the nervous
• 1:17:48
  system. So I always tell people like,
• 1:17:52
  you owe it to yourself for your nervous system to just be
• 1:17:55
  completely relaxed. You don't have to be in this
• 1:17:58
  fight or flight mode the rest of your life.
• 1:18:01
  We hear from a lot of Americans that are considering moving and
• 1:18:05
  they all say the same thing. We're so stressed.
• 1:18:08
  We don't, you know, it. They it's just, it's just
• 1:18:12
  there's other ways to live and there's other ways to do things.
• 1:18:16
  And I feel like if it's in someone's heart to potentially
• 1:18:19
  move outside of their country, they owe it to themselves to
• 1:18:22
  give it a try because you'll realize that A, the nervous
• 1:18:27
  system will love you for it, but B, it's like this magical,
• 1:18:30
  mystical world where you enter into another realm of life, of
• 1:18:35
  living. There's different ways, like you
• 1:18:37
  say, outside of your village. And everybody has their own
• 1:18:40
  village, whether they're in a big city or not.
• 1:18:42
  But even if you are from New York City, your little village
• 1:18:46
  is that one St. that you're always in.
• 1:18:49
  So moving abroad, I think is a gift.
• 1:18:52
  And if it's in your heart, you know, I always encourage people
• 1:18:55
  to to give it a shot. I love what I love what you said
• 1:18:59
  to them because this is what I meant by village.
• 1:19:00
  I don't, I, I came from a village.
• 1:19:03
  But I always say it doesn't matter if you're original from
• 1:19:05
  New York or from Sydney or you have your village, you have your
• 1:19:09
  tribe, you have the the people that know you, the people that
• 1:19:12
  say hello to you when they see you on the street, the people,
• 1:19:14
  right? Like this is this is the village
• 1:19:16
  that I mean, I think this is exactly what you, what you meant
• 1:19:18
  as well, right? Exactly.
• 1:19:22
  It's I enjoy this conversation. I realize more and more that as
• 1:19:26
  much as I meet people that took this step, there we are on we
• 1:19:29
  are on the same, we are on the same wavelength.
• 1:19:31
  We are absolutely on the same wavelength.
• 1:19:33
  And I think it, it makes a lot of fun to, to have these
• 1:19:36
  discussions. And I, I always remember why I
• 1:19:38
  started doing this. And I, I enjoy the hell out of
• 1:19:42
  this conversation. And guys, I want, I, we don't,
• 1:19:45
  we're not finished yet, but I want to say again, thank you for
• 1:19:47
  taking the time. It, it's, it was already a
• 1:19:49
  pleasure for me. I still have some, some things
• 1:19:51
  that I want to go through, but it, it's, it was already a
• 1:19:54
  pleasure for me. Before we, before we go towards
• 1:19:59
  the end, I have some, some rapid fire questions which I tried to
• 1:20:03
  tailor down the guest tailor on the guest.
• 1:20:05
  So the first one I'm focusing on the food because I like food,
• 1:20:10
  but that's not a bigger topic. Tapas or paella?
• 1:20:17
  Tapas or paella? Yeah.
• 1:20:19
  Tapas. I'm going tapas.
• 1:20:24
  You don't like paella or you just prefer tapas?
• 1:20:27
  No, I enjoy paella. I just prefer the tapas.
• 1:20:30
  Like if you're, if you're just asking right now, rapid fire,
• 1:20:33
  I'm going to go with tapas for sure.
• 1:20:34
  You get, like, small bites, You get a variety.
• 1:20:36
  There's a lot of seafood involved.
• 1:20:38
  Tapas, yeah. Your favorite Spanish phrase so
• 1:20:42
  far? Mine's KYKY.
• 1:20:50
  KY. KY Yeah, like that.
• 1:20:53
  That's badass. That's cool.
• 1:20:55
  Kyi. I do have it.
• 1:21:01
  Mine tranquilo, tranquilo. No pasanada, no pasanada, a
• 1:21:08
  Spanish word that you still are pronouncing wrong.
• 1:21:13
  I can't even say it right now. I it's the main Plaza.
• 1:21:17
  Are you? Are you the Mento?
• 1:21:18
  Are you the Mento? I just.
• 1:21:22
  Say, are you the may? Are you them?
• 1:21:25
  I can't, cannot. Well, I will say this, I have
• 1:21:29
  not once said valet in my day-to-day language.
• 1:21:34
  So that's a word that I haven't been able to say yet because I
• 1:21:38
  haven't ever said it. So you know, I've never used
• 1:21:41
  Valley. Well, I heard a lot.
• 1:21:42
  I had, I have a friend, I have a Brazilian friend who live in
• 1:21:45
  Barcelona for a while. And of course he took the the
• 1:21:48
  habit from from Barcelona. He keeps saying Theo.
• 1:21:52
  I don't know if Theo is something which is Spanish, but
• 1:21:55
  there was something that I heard Rafa all the time, all the time.
• 1:22:01
  Hardest. What was the hardest day of your
• 1:22:03
  entire move? Gosh.
• 1:22:05
  Hardest day of the entire move. It was the flight that whole the
• 1:22:11
  journey, the airport, LAX, Los Angeles airport, flying into
• 1:22:16
  Lisbon, connect a flight to missing the train in Barcelona.
• 1:22:20
  We haven't slept, you know, After that, it's been a breeze.
• 1:22:22
  I'd say that I'd say that too because it was it was the the
• 1:22:25
  weight of the luggage. You have 4 heavy luggages, you
• 1:22:30
  have your kids roaming around. They're they're looking at you
• 1:22:32
  for leadership and where are we going and what time is this?
• 1:22:35
  And then you mess up that day as a dad, that was that broke my
• 1:22:39
  heart. And then you have a cat.
• 1:22:41
  So that that was our hardest day for sure.
• 1:22:48
  Hidden gem that you discovered in Spain.
• 1:22:53
  Oh, I know. So.
• 1:22:59
  Wow, what is it called? It's good that you know.
• 1:23:04
  It's good that you know isn't. It is it a play?
• 1:23:08
  No, it's it's. Person plays your thing.
• 1:23:10
  No, not very well, but Albert Aseen, Albert Aseen.
• 1:23:15
  OK, we went to Albert Aseen. That's a hidden gem.
• 1:23:18
  A lot of people don't know about it.
• 1:23:19
  I never heard, but it's a it's a gorgeous medieval village
• 1:23:24
  village in the mountains and it is gorgeous and it's it was
• 1:23:30
  colder up there. The air was crisp.
• 1:23:33
  I'll send you photos of it, but it is it is.
• 1:23:36
  I loved it all about a scene. Never heard about it, to be
• 1:23:39
  honest. Never heard about this.
• 1:23:42
  The beach in California or the beach in Valencia.
• 1:23:44
  I knew it. I knew it.
• 1:23:51
  Different. OK, but if I we have to pick a
• 1:23:54
  beach, OK, beach in Northern California or beach in Valencia
• 1:23:58
  if I'm getting in the water. Oh, beach in Valencia all day.
• 1:24:01
  It's warm, it's clear. You can you can enjoy it.
• 1:24:05
  Northern California beaches, you freeze your butt off.
• 1:24:08
  They're gorgeous, but you're not getting in.
• 1:24:10
  No. I'm going to, I'm going to say
• 1:24:11
  the beauty of Southern California beaches.
• 1:24:14
  I you love, you love Southern California beaches, but I would
• 1:24:17
  much rather get in Valencia water.
• 1:24:19
  Yeah. The Mediterranean waters, like
• 1:24:22
  there's something beautiful about them that you just can't
• 1:24:25
  compete with. That's so interesting.
• 1:24:27
  That's not because I did expected you to say California
• 1:24:30
  all day long, but. You know, if you if you put both
• 1:24:34
  coastlines though, if you put the whole coast of the
• 1:24:37
  Mediterranean of Valencia all the way up to Barcelona and
• 1:24:40
  South to Alicante, I imagine it's very comparable.
• 1:24:43
  It's beautiful. Different, different terrains,
• 1:24:45
  different styles. They're they're both equally
• 1:24:48
  gorgeous. Guys, the last one, if it would
• 1:24:52
  be to start again from the beginning to do the move, would
• 1:24:56
  you do it again? I would.
• 1:24:59
  Oh. If we had to do this all over
• 1:25:00
  again, absolutely. It's, it's, it's exciting, it's
• 1:25:03
  exhilarating. It it's everybody should do it
• 1:25:06
  if it's in their heart to do it. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
• 1:25:11
  Because the last question of today where is home?
• 1:25:16
  Where is home? I think wherever my wife and
• 1:25:21
  daughters are. That sounds so cheesy, but but
• 1:25:25
  it's true. So we could be anywhere in the
• 1:25:27
  world as long as I have my wife and daughters.
• 1:25:30
  And, you know, I apologize to the rest of our family.
• 1:25:33
  We're really close with all of my family.
• 1:25:35
  I love my mom, dad, my aunts and uncles, everybody.
• 1:25:38
  I love them all. But I think we've put a really
• 1:25:40
  strong emphasis on our on our girls and our and us as as a
• 1:25:44
  couple. Yeah.
• 1:25:46
  So that's our nucleus for sure. If you were to ask our kids home
• 1:25:49
  is in California, but. Which makes sense.
• 1:25:53
  Guys, come on, give them some time.
• 1:25:55
  Like you said, give them one year.
• 1:25:57
  Yeah, but I'm on the same wave like this.
• 1:25:59
  Ham for home is where we are as a family unit.
• 1:26:03
  And I have to say fully agree with you.
• 1:26:05
  I keep asking this question and I realize more and more than
• 1:26:08
  home is a feeling. It's not the place because
• 1:26:11
  usually the place that you remember as home does not exist
• 1:26:14
  anymore because you don't remember the place itself.
• 1:26:16
  You remember still a feeling that you had in that place.
• 1:26:19
  And usually in most of the cases, that feeling is not there
• 1:26:22
  anymore. And I have to say the, this,
• 1:26:26
  this discussion I love. I don't know if you guys know
• 1:26:28
  friends the, the TV series, didn't you know it.
• 1:26:32
  And I, there's a, there's a line from Rachel in France which
• 1:26:36
  saying, you know, I, I love my mother, but a long lunch with
• 1:26:39
  her is too much so. That's true.
• 1:26:45
  I love you, Mom. So it's, it's yeah, no, but I
• 1:26:51
  fully with you. I think that home is where the
• 1:26:53
  family is. Guys, again, thank you so much.
• 1:26:57
  I, I have to say, because I haven't mentioned that now
• 1:26:59
  you're producing amazing content on Instagram.
• 1:27:01
  I have to say, you're bringing a smile on my face every, every
• 1:27:04
  time when I see something from you.
• 1:27:06
  This is how I, I start to get to know you because this is what I
• 1:27:10
  do. I, I usually don't invite
• 1:27:12
  everyone. I just follow them and then try
• 1:27:14
  to see how they are and I realize that could be a match,
• 1:27:18
  that could be a real match because I see we have the same
• 1:27:22
  humor. I will link your Instagram down
• 1:27:26
  and besides Instagram if you want tell people where they can
• 1:27:30
  find you. If you want to hear crime scene
• 1:27:34
  stories, she tells real crime scene stories at The Walls do
• 1:27:38
  talk.com. The podcast, but on Spotify as
• 1:27:42
  well. I will link it below and thank
• 1:27:45
  you and my my wife will love it because my wife is a huge fan of
• 1:27:48
  a crime podcast and. Perfect, perfect.
• 1:27:53
  Good. Thank you.
• 1:27:54
  Guys, thank you a lot for your time.
• 1:27:56
  I do appreciate a lot and I do hope that that that visit of you
• 1:28:01
  in, in, in Germany will happen one day and we we get to know
• 1:28:04
  each other because you're, you're amazing human beings.
• 1:28:06
  You're amazing guys. Thank you very much.
• 1:28:09
  Absolutely. We would love to come see you in
• 1:28:11
  Germany. We're going to make it happen.
• 1:28:12
  With some Chipotle. Chipotle, I'm not asking for
• 1:28:16
  sponsorship or something, but they said your name too much too
• 1:28:18
  many times today. No, let's, let's ask for
• 1:28:21
  sponsorship. Let's ask for sponsorship.
• 1:28:26
  Thank you so much, see you at the next time.
• 1:28:28
  I hope we do this again one day. Talk to you soon.
• 1:28:30
  Yes. Bye.
• 1:28:31
  Thank you so much.