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The Confidence Comeback: Reclaim Your Strength After 40 · The Diva Details

0:01
Welcome to the Diva Detail. Welcome to the Diva Detail,
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where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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From love and sex to wellness and reinvention,
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we keep it raw, real, and powerful.
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No filters, no limits, just fearless conversations
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to help you thrive. Let's dive in with Diva Mia.
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Well, hello, beautiful people. This is Diva Mia,
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and today we're gonna talk about confidence a little
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bit. There's a moment that happens to almost everyone who starts taking care
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of themselves again. It's not on the scale. It's not in the mirror, at least
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not at first. It's the moment you carry all the grocery bags in on
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one trip, or you get off the floor without putting a hand
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on the coffee table, or you catch yourself standing a little taller in a meeting
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and you realize you're not shrinking anymore. You've got confidence
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again. That's the moment we're talking about today. If you're
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in your 40s, 50s, and 60s or beyond, this one is for you. We're going
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to talk about why putting yourself first isn't selfish,
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why building muscle gets harder as we age and what to do
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about it, and protein, creatine, and the supplements that are actually
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worth your money to spend it on, and how often to lift, what kinds
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of interval training makes sense, and why yoga and rest are not
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optional extras. They're crucial. Then we're going to talk about people
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lifting weights in their 70s 80s and 90s. A lot of people
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are looking to get in shape at 40, 50, 60, or re-get in shape.
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They don't realize this can carry you through long-term. We're going
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to finish by looking ahead because the future of the human body might be more
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exciting than any of us imagined. One quick note
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though, before we start, I'm not your doctor. Everything here is general education.
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If you have a heart condition, kidney issues, liver, joint problems,
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or take medication, check in with your physician before you change your training or
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add any supplements because some supplements are contraindicated as well.
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Now let's get into it. Let's talk a little bit about putting yourself
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first and the confidence that comes back with it. Let's start with a confession
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a lot of us share. For 20 or 30 years, we put everyone else first,
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our kids, our partners, our careers,
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maybe aging parents, making sure the mortgage was paid, the boss,
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the team. A lot of us have taken care of everyone else but ourselves.
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Our own health got whatever was left over, which usually meant
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Absolutely nothing. For a while, the body lets you get away with it.
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Then one day you notice your back hurts, your joints hurt, your knees hurt.
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When you try to tie your shoe, you bend over and it hurts. You're winded
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on the stairs. Your energy is gone by 3:00 PM, and the
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person in the mirror doesn't quite feel like you. Here's the reframe.
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I want you to hear that taking care of yourself
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is not being selfish. It's the most generous thing you can
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do for the people you depend— who depend on you. You can't pour from
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an empty cup. The stronger and healthier you are,
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the more you have to give and the longer you'll have to give it.
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We're talking about the confidence comeback, and there's real science behind it.
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Resistance training has been studied for its effectiveness on mood, and the results
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are striking. A large 2018 metadata analysis pooling 33
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clinical trials with nearly 1,900 participants found that strength training
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significantly reduced depression symptoms. There's something about
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the oxytocin. There's something about the happy hormone when you lift
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weights. The benefits showed up regardless of age or health status, and it didn't
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depend on how much strength people actually gained. Think about it.
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Simply doing the work, showing up and lifting shifts how you
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feel about yourself. I think it's partly because then you start respecting yourself.
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You start respecting your word. You start trusting yourself.
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There's a simple mechanism here too. Confidence is built on evidence.
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Every time you finish a workout you didn't feel like starting,
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prove to yourself that you keep your promises. Every time the
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weight goes up, you have proof you can still grow.
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As your body comes back, your belief in yourself comes back right
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alongside it. Here's the thing. Have you been letting
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yourself down? Have you been abandoning yourself?
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Have you been shrinking yourself so other people feel bigger about themselves?
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It's time to take your power back. The first step isn't a
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program or a supplement. It's a decision. I matter
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enough to make time for this. Block it on your calendar. Like a doctor's
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appointment, because in a way it is one. It's gonna keep you out of the
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doctor's office, probably. Muscles after 40, why it's harder. And here's
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the thing, let's be honest about the hard part.
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Building muscles at 50 is not the same as building muscles at 25. I will
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say muscles came on so easily at 25. Starting somewhere in our
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30s, we begin to lose muscle. Research estimates the loss at
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roughly 3 to 8% per decade after age
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30, and it speeds up after 60. There's a name for
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the advanced version of this. It's called sarcopenia. It's one
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of the biggest drivers of falls, frailty, and losing independence
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later in life. Scientists call it anabolic resistance.
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When a 25-year-old eats a meal with protein, their muscles get a loud,
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clear signal to build. When a 65-year-old eats the same meal,
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the signal comes through quieter. Hormones shift too. Testosterone may
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decline gradually in men and, and, and in women, estrogen drops sharply for
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women through menopause, which affects both muscle muscles and bone.
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So it— is it hopeless? Absolutely not. It just means you
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have to be a little more deliberate. It's not just deliberate
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about weightlifting. It may also be deliberate about recovery.
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The single most important lever besides lifting itself is protein.
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The official RDA for protein is 0.8 grams per kilogram
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of body weight per day just to maintain, but that number was set to prevent
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deficiency, not to build muscle in an aging body. If you're trying to gain muscle,
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you're at about a gram per pound of body weight.
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And many researchers also think you might even
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need to go heavier depending on how much you're using. So let me translate that
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into real life. If your goal weight is 120 pounds,
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you should be taking in about 120 grams of protein a day. If your
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goal weight's 175, that's 175 grams per day. It makes
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it easy. And how you eat it matters because of anabolic
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resistance. Older adults seem to need a bigger dose per meal to flip the
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switch. Here's an example of a breakfast. Breakfast is Greek yogurt with berries
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and a scoop of protein powder, or 3 eggs plus cottage
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cheese. Lunch is a big salad with a palm and a half
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chicken. Dinner is lean beef, fish, tofu, or lentils with vegetables.
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A protein shake after training if you're, if you're short protein will help
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as well. You may need to have 2 or 3 pieces of chicken depending
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on how big you are. Look for the foods rich in leucine, an amino acid
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that acts like an ignition key for muscle building. Leucine is so important.
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You might even want to put some leucine powder into your protein drinks.
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Whey, dairy, eggs, meat, and fish are all great sources
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of leucine. One important caution though, if you have chronic kidney
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disease, higher protein may not be right for you. That's a conversation for you
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and your doctor. It's harder to build muscle right now, yes,
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but harder isn't impossible. It just means
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protein becomes a non-negotiable for everybody. Then there's creatine.
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Everybody's been talking about creatine lately, not just for muscle building but for mental health.
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Let's talk about the supplement because it seems to be more and important. I want
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to start with a warning. The supplement is mostly marketing. I will say that food
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and training do about 90% of the lifting of the work that you need in
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order to gain your muscle. But a few supplements genuinely earn
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their place, and the first one is creatine. For years,
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creatine had a reputation of as something only young bodybuilders used.
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That has changed because creatine monohydrate is one of the most researched supplements
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in the world now. It's especially interesting after 40. Because creatine
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helps you build muscles and it helps your muscles regenerate quick
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with energy so you can squeeze out an extra rep or 2 per set.
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Over weeks and months, that adds up. It's not an immediate fix,
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but it, it does add up. Several meta-analysis
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of older adults show that creatine combined with resistance training leads
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to greater gains in lean mass and strength than training
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alone. Researchers have also determined that
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they've spent much of their careers on exactly this question. There's also
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earlier promising research on creatine and bone health, and even
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on brain function, though that work is still young. But it's very interesting
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what they're starting to find out. You might be able to extend your brain
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function longer with creatine. There's different ways to take it. You can take
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it plain creatine monohydrate. You don't need any fancy versions.
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Creatine is one of those things that when you take it, it's really good.
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And 5 grams a day, every day is what you should be taking.
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Timing doesn't matter. Some people say take it after workout, but it doesn't really matter.
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It just matters that you're consistent. A loading phase used
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to saturate muscles faster, but it's only optional. You need
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to make sure you're drinking enough too, because creatine pulls waters into your muscles.
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That's why people feel swollen a little bit after. So the scale
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may go up a pound or 2 when you're on creatine, but that's most likely
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water in the muscles. And look for third-party tested, NSF certified,
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for sports are informed. There is bad creatine on the market as well,
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so make sure it's NSF certified. If you have kidney disease or take medications
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that affect the kidneys, talk to your doctor first. A few other
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supplements worth noting is protein powder. Whey is high in leucine.
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Pea or soy— I like pea protein myself because then I don't have a
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gluten issue. Then there's vitamin D. Many older adults, especially after
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40, are low in vitamin D. We don't get enough sun anymore, and in the
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winter it makes it even worse. It matters for bones and muscle function.
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Get your levels checked. You can get vitamin D checked very affordably,
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and most insurances cover that. Omega-3s from fish oil
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as well. Some studies in older adults show omega-3s may improve the muscle
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building response to protein. So take it when you're eating protein as well.
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Fish has omega-3s in it and it can help with joint comfort.
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Magnesium, it's involved in hundreds of processes as well.
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Most people are deficient in magnesium too. Then calcium, ideally,
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ideally from food first. Especially for your bone health.
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I'd say testosterone boosters that are sold over the counter, fat burners,
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and anything promising to melt or shred, it sounds too good to be true.
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And sometimes it is. Supplements are the sprinkles, not the
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cake. Lifting, eating enough protein, and sleeping well are the
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cake. Even if you're on a GLP, you still need to lift weights
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because what will happen is as you lose weight quickly, your skin is going to
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sag and you don't want that. Then we're going to talk about how often to
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lift and what HIIT training is. A simple proven setup
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is 3 full days, full body days, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
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And you can do that. Each session includes a squat or a leg press,
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a hinge. And especially if you're just getting started, this might be the way to
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go. Then you do 2 to 4 sets of each area in the 6
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to 15 rep range. And each set that you finish with about
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1 to 3 reps left in the tank. That's it.
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That's progressive overload. That's the key to growing
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muscle. Now, your body only adapts when you ask it to push harder.
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So if you're pushing a weight And it's very easy, go up
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the next set and then go up the set after that until you could— your
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last set is only 2 or 3. You can only get 3 out
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of the tank. Take a notebook or keep it in your calendar.
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I like to keep mine in my calendar and every day I just update
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the entry so I can see where I was last. Now about bulking. When you're
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younger, you can eat everything in sight and call it bulk. After 40,
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that mostly gets you body fat and slower metabolic
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rates and baggage. A smarter approach is what some people
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say is building phases. So you should have 8 to 16
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weeks of eating modest surplus, roughly 200 calories more
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a day. Then you should have a maintenance phase of a few weeks into months
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in between eating and maintenance. And then many people do 2 building phases
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a year. If you're carrying extra body fat, you can skip the surplus
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entirely. Let your body eat the fat that it's got. Beginners can lose— often
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lose fat and gain muscle at the same time, especially with high
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protein. I will say, if you can just focus on getting enough protein,
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because I don't eat that much food. I barely
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eat at all. So when I get all my protein in for the day,
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I don't have any room for anything else. And so if you're eating
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protein, that's the way to go. Target a slow gain
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though, around a quarter to half a pound per week. If the scale climbs
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faster, you're adding more fat than muscle. So you can gain about
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half a pound of muscle a week. That's huge.
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Now let's talk about HIIT training. This is high-intensity interval
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training. And if it's done right, it's one of the best things you can do
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for your heart. Especially after 40. And HIIT training after 40 should look
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differently. Instead of being a punishing boot camp, here's what I suggest: low-impact
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equipment— stationary bike, rowing machine, elliptical— but you need to go— you need to spare
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your knees and your Achilles. Short interval training— 30 seconds hard,
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90 seconds easy, 30 seconds hard, 90 seconds easy.
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Repeat it 6 to 7 times, up to 10 times.
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Frequency— 1 or 2 sessions a week is plenty. I think 1 session
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of HIIT training a week is great. If you can do that, especially if you're
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lifting weights, 3 days. The rest of your cardio should be easy.
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Walking, hiking, be nice to your joints, even bicycling.
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HIIT is a spice. It's a little, it's a little make the meal.
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It helps with your cardio and that's the goal. And then you have yoga
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and recovery, and then you can even red light to help with inflammation.
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Here's something that surprises people though. Your muscles don't grow in the gym. They grow
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when you recover from the gym. Training is the stimulus.
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Training is the stimulus. Sleep, food, and rest are
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where the actual building happens. And as we age, recovery takes a
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little longer. That's not weakness, it's biology. I know people that are in their 40s
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and 50s and they're still lifting weights every 6, 7 days a week.
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And it's like, you're killing yourself. You're probably not making the gains you want,
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especially when someone was a former college athlete. That has an impact too.
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If you're 6 days a week working out every session to failure, HIIT training
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on top of lifting for about 6 weeks, you may feel stronger,
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you may feel better, but you know what's going to happen is your sleep's going
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to start to fall apart. Your resting heart rate's going to creep up. It's going
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to cause stress and cortisol shifts in your body. You're going to become more irritable.
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Eventually, you might have a tendon flare-up or tear something or hurt something.
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It's incredibly common. It's hard. Exercise is a stressor. In the
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right doses, it's a good stressor, but your body adapts and gets stronger, but your
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body doesn't keep separate accounts for different kinds of stress. So workout
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stress, workout, it can affect your sleep. It can cause family stress.
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If you push yourself to the limit every day and you stay in a constant
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fight or flight state with elevated stress hormones like cortisol,
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it can end up affecting your health. You can have poor sleep.
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You can have nagging injuries, injuries, a weaker immune system, stalled progress,
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and burnout. It's called overtraining syndrome. A lot of
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people have done it. So here's the rule I want you to remember:
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train hard enough to grow, not so hard that you break. More sessions
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should lead you feeling better than you walked in, not wrecked. You need to sleep
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7 to 9 hours. This is single most powerful recovery tool you have, and it's
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free. At least 1 to 2 full rest days a week is great.
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You can walk on them. You can take a long walk day every 4 to
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8 weeks where you have a lighter week. You take it easy on your body
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and listen to warning signs. If you're getting poor sleep or your resting
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heart rate, I hope you're tracking that with some tracking device,
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starts to increase. You're probably causing more stress.
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This is where yoga comes in too. You can add yoga.
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For most people over 40, I'd say yoga is very important. Yoga builds mobility
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and balance, both of which decline with age and both of which protect you
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from falls. Studies suggest yoga can improve flexibility,
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balance, and even measures of stress and sleep.
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Tai chi has particular strong evidence for reducing falls
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in older adults. You don't need to be bendy to start.
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1 or 2 sessions a week, even 20 minutes of gentle or restorative
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yoga on rest days, is enough to feel the difference. And don't overlook
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simple relaxation. Slow breathing, like inhaling for 4 seconds
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and exhaling for 6, activates your parasympathetic nervous system,
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the rest and digest side. A walk in nature, a sauna,
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time with friends, anything that's relaxing— these are luxuries that
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you should take seriously. The goal isn't to win the week. The goal is
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to still be training happily 20 years from now. If you're sitting
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there thinking, I'm too old for this, I want to introduce you to some people.
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In 1988, in a nursing home in Boston, a researcher
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named Dr. Maria Fiderone did something
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that at the time many doctors considered reckless. She put 10
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frail nursing home residents, average age 90 and
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the oldest 96, on a high-intensity strength training program
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for their legs. They worked out 3 days a week for 8 weeks.
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The result published stunned the field. Their strength went up
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by an average of 174%. Their thigh muscle
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grew by about 9%. Their walking speed improved by nearly
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half. A few years later, she ran a larger trial with
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100 nursing home residents and saw strength more than double.
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The conclusion is the aging body still responds to training,
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even as old as 90. Or 96. Now let's
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meet some people outside the lab. There's a woman in Baltimore. She didn't set foot
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in a gym until she turned 56. She and her sister started
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together, and her sister died. Ernestine kept going in her memory.
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She entered her first bodybuilding competition at 71 and won.
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Guinness World Records named her the world's oldest competitive female
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bodybuilder in 2010 and 2011, and in June 2026,
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she celebrated her 90th birthday. She's still training and still
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teaching others. Before she started, she said she struggled with depression, high blood
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pressure, and panic attacks. Talk about a confidence comeback.
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She's not the oldest anymore. I know 73-year-old bodybuilders and
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older. She may have opened the door for it, but there's so many people in
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their 60s, 70s, and 80s training, and some
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in their 90s. Jim Arrington was born premature and
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was a sick kid. At 15 in 1947, he picked up weights because,
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in his words, he wanted to be a superhero. On October 22nd,
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at 90 years old and 38 days old, he competed in a professional
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bodybuilding show in Reno and became now the oldest,
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according to the Guinness World Records, male bodybuilder.
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And then there's Charlie Euster, a retired British
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dentist who took up bodybuilding in his late 80s
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and later became a record-setting sprinter in the 90s.
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He said he wanted to look good on the beach. He trained until shortly
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before he passed away at 97. These are people
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that are still working out and they find it helps their mental capabilities,
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not just their physical. You may have people like this at your age,
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the 78-year-old in the gym doing deadlifts, the 84-year-old
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man on the rowing machine. I will say the 73-year-old woman, actually she's
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74 now, I believe, who lifts weights and she only dates like 40 and
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50-year-olds. It's kind of funny. She's in better shape than most
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20-year-olds. Here's what these people have in common. None of them are superhuman.
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They just never accepted that their best days were behind them. Neither are yours.
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And here's the part that should have given you hope. If you start at 45,
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55, or 65, you have a huge head start on most of
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them. 'Cause some of them didn't start until their 60s. The person that
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I know that's competing at 74, she didn't start competing till she was 69.
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The research in older women is especially encouraging too. In Australia,
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postmenopausal women with low bone mass on supervised
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heavy lifting, deadlifts, squats, overhead presses, just twice a week, their bone
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density and function improved. And the training was safe with proper coaching.
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For decades, women were told to lift light pink dumbbells or
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you're gonna get too big. Please retire the, the phrase you're too old to start
20:19
because it doesn't exist anymore. The only real requirement is that you start where
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you are and build slowly. Let's zoom out for a minute. When our
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parents were our age, if they wanted to learn how to train, they had a
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handful of magazines, maybe a coach at the YMCA, and a lot of guesswork.
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Most of the advice was aimed at 22-year-olds. Today we have information
20:39
at our fingertips. There's so much information where it's
20:43
a blessing to be at our age and this generation in human history.
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There's peer-reviewed research that used to sit behind university library doors in
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a search away. All you gotta do is Google it or use your AI tool
20:54
to find it. You can watch world-class coaches demonstrate a hip hinge
20:58
for free. You can have wearables track your sleep, your resting
21:02
heart rate, and your heart rate variability, giving you real data on
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how well you're recovering so you can adjust and make things better in your life.
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The question is, will you act? And will you change?
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Now we have AI. You can ask an AI assistant to build you a 3-day
21:16
program around your bad knee, plan a week of high-protein meals you're actually going
21:21
to enjoy, or explain what a study really found in plain English.
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Some apps even analyze a video of your squat and flag your form
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and tell you what you need to do differently. It's like having a coach,
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a nutritionist, and a research librarian in your pocket.
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So there's a reason to record yourself at the gym. A word of caution though,
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information isn't the same as wisdom. AI can be wrong
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and the internet is full of confident nonsense. Use these tools to
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learn and to ask better questions. Then bring those questions
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to your doctor, your physical therapist, or a qualified coach because not,
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they're not always right. And sometimes you need to ask a few AIs because they
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conflict. And then let's dream a little as well because the future is genuinely
22:00
exciting. Current regenerative medicine is one of the fastest
22:05
moving areas of science. Researchers are working on ways to regrow cartilage in
22:09
worn-out joints and to heal torn ligaments and tendons with
22:13
stem cells and biological scaffolds. Back in 2006,
22:16
a team led by Dr. Anthony Atala reported
22:20
implanting lab-grown bladders built from patients' own cells into
22:24
young patients. Scientists are now growing miniature organs called organoids
22:29
in the lab and working towards growing full replacement tissue,
22:33
even organs, and from a person's own cells, which could could someday
22:37
reduce the risk of rejection. I know they're able to grow multiple
22:42
livers in people now. AI is speeding up all of this. It's helping researchers
22:46
predict protein structures, design new drugs, and shift through
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mountains of biological data faster than humans alone ever
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could. So to be clear, much of this is still in research
22:57
or early trials, but it's coming so quickly. Nobody can promise you
23:01
a new set of knees by 2035, but maybe you will have 'em.
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The direction is unmistakable. Breakthroughs that sounded science
23:09
fiction 20 years ago are happening now. And here's why it matters to you
23:13
today. Those future breakthroughs will benefit the people who are still around,
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still mobile, and still healthy enough to use them.
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If you let yourself go, it might be too late. They may not
23:24
be able to bring you back. So keep yourself in shape because the
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best way to be ready for the future of medicine is to take care of
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the body you have right now. Get strong now so you can enjoy whatever
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comes next, maybe for the next 50 or even 100 years. You just don't know.
23:39
So let's bring it home. This stage of life isn't the beginning of
23:43
the end. For a lot of us, it's the beginning of the best part of
23:46
our lives. I'm having so much fun right now in my 50s.
23:50
I can't tell you how exciting it is. The kids are starting to get
23:54
older. I'm starting to look at empty nesting coming up soon. The career
23:57
is established. We finally know who we are,
24:01
and now we get to find out what our bodies can do when we finally
24:04
give them some attention. I'll tell you a secret. It's very fun.
24:07
I'm doing things that I never thought I would do. There's a real joy
24:11
in hitting a lift you couldn't do 6 months ago, in hiking a trail that
24:15
used to wind you, and buying clothes because they fit differently now. I'm replacing
24:19
my whole wardrobe. I'm getting down to on the floor
24:22
to play with my kids and my pets and getting back up without a
24:26
second thought. That's the confidence comeback. As your body
24:30
comes back, you come back. And often you grow in ways
24:33
you never imagined— more patient, more disciplined,
24:37
more proud of yourself than you've ever been in years. So take care
24:42
of your physical body, take care of your mental health, and you will be
24:45
amazed at your life going forward. Here's your
24:49
homework, because I wanted to give you some homework. Just 3 things. Put 3 45-minute
24:53
strength sessions on your calendar for this week and make sure that you treat them
24:56
like a doctor's appointment that you don't miss. If you have to,
24:59
get an accountability partner to meet you at the gym, then work out with them.
25:02
And then for breakfast, add 30 grams of protein to your first meal and
25:06
every meal. In fact, I think breakfast, because it comes overnight, should be mainly
25:10
protein if nothing else. And protect your sleep. Pick a
25:14
bedroom time and aim for 7 or more hours. I can tell you that
25:18
my sweet spot is 7 hours and 45 minutes. When I get that
25:22
amount of sleep, the whole next day is wonderful. If I get less, it's a
25:25
little rougher. If you're cleared by your doctor and want to go further,
25:29
consider adding 3 to 5 grams of creatine a day, 1 interval session,
25:33
and 1 yoga class a week. So you can add some HIIT training
25:37
and some yoga, maybe do 2 or 3 yoga classes. I mean,
25:41
it depends on where you're at, but you got to start light and build slowly.
25:45
But no matter what, be consistent. Do something you can do every
25:49
single week that you won't back down. Weight training should be the first thing.
25:53
Remember Jim on the stage at 90 and the nursing home residents
25:57
at 96, more than doubling their strength in 8 weeks. 8 weeks from
26:01
now, you could be totally different physically. You're not too old. You're right
26:05
on time. And I hope that this helped, this episode helped you.
26:08
Share it with someone who needs to hear it. Like, subscribe so you can get
26:12
more of our episodes. That friend who keeps saying that they'll start
26:16
Monday, let them know it's time to start today. Let us know
26:20
how your comeback story went. If it's an amazing comeback story, I'd love to have
26:24
you on the program well. So take care of yourself, love yourself,
26:28
remember you matter so much because you're worth it.
26:32
I'll see you next time. This is Diva Mia signing off.
26:36
Take care and have a blessed day.
26:54
Hearing from you. Visit thedivadetails.com
26:58
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27:05
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