Latest / The Light / Joni Table Talk Podcast (Video) - Friends From the Table: The Healthy Marriage Model | Dr. Bob Paul

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Joni Table Talk Podcast (Video) - Friends From the Table: The Healthy Marriage Model | Dr. Bob Paul · The Light

• 0:00
  ♪♪
• 0:05
  JONI LAMB: HELLO, AND WELCOME TO JONI TABLE TALK,
• 0:08
  THE SHOW WHERE WE BRING YOU REAL CONVERSATIONS
• 0:10
  THAT MATTER.
• 0:11
  I'M YOUR HOST, JONI LAMB.
• 0:13
  JOIN US AS WE EXPLORE UNFORGETTABLE TESTIMONIES,
• 0:17
  TACKLE HARD-HITTING TOPICS, AND UNCOVER THE TRUTH
• 0:20
  THAT TRANSFORMS LIVES WITH AUTHENTICITY,
• 0:23
  BIBLICAL WISDOM, AND A HEART FOR TRANSFORMATION.
• 0:26
  SO PULL UP A CHAIR,
• 0:28
  JOIN US AROUND THE TABLE,
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  AND LET'S DIVE RIGHT IN.
• 0:31
  ♪♪
• 0:36
  CINDY MURDOCK: WELL, EVERYONE WANTS TO FIND LASTING LOVE.
• 0:38
  BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP GETS CHALLENGING?
• 0:42
  WELL, TODAY'S GUEST IS HERE
• 0:44
  TO REVEAL WHY GOD'S BLUEPRINT FOR MARRIAGE
• 0:47
  GOES FAR BEYOND HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
• 0:51
  I WANT TO WELCOME YOU TO FRIENDS FROM THE TABLE.
• 0:53
  I'M YOUR HOST, CINDY MURDOCK, AND I'M HERE WITH
• 0:56
  MY FRIEND AND CO-HOST, ANNA KENDALL.
• 1:00
  SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU.
• 1:01
  ANNA KENDALL: THANK YOU, CINDY.
• 1:02
  IT'S ALWAYS FUN TO BE WITH YOU,
• 1:04
  AND I LOVE BEING HERE WITH OUR GUEST.
• 1:06
  SO THIS IS GOING TO BE AN EXCITING SHOW.
• 1:09
  CINDY: IT'S ONE OF OUR FAVORITE TOPICS.
• 1:10
  ANNA: ONE OF OUR FAVORITE TOPICS.
• 1:11
  ABSOLUTELY.
• 1:12
  YOU KNOW, YEARS AGO, I WENT TO A BRIEFING
• 1:15
  WITH PRESIDENT REAGAN,
• 1:17
  AND HE SAID, THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY
• 1:19
  IS THE HEART OF THE WORLD, THE HOPE OF AMERICA,
• 1:22
  AND THE DIVINE PLAN OF GOD.
• 1:24
  ISN'T THAT GREAT?
• 1:25
  CINDY: IT IS. ABSOLUTELY.
• 1:26
  ANNA: WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT TODAY.
• 1:28
  CINDY: WE ARE SO EXCITED TO HAVE WITH US TODAY OUR GUEST,
• 1:31
  DR. BOB PAUL.
• 1:33
  WELCOME TO FRIENDS FROM THE TABLE.
• 1:35
  DR. BOB PAUL: THANK YOU SO MUCH.
• 1:36
  IT'S GREAT TO BE WITH YOU GUYS.
• 1:38
  CINDY: IT'S SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU.
• 1:39
  AND, YOU KNOW,
• 1:40
  I DO WANT TO LET THE AUDIENCE KNOW
• 1:42
  WE'RE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT YOUR BOOK,
• 1:44
  9 LIES, NOT LIVES,
• 1:47
  BUT NINE LIES THAT WILL DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE.
• 1:52
  I LOVE THIS TITLE.
• 1:53
  AND I FEEL LIKE, I KNOW WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT
• 1:56
  YOUR STORY AND HOW YOU DEAL WITH
• 1:58
  AND HELP PEOPLE IN THEIR MARRIAGES,
• 2:00
  BUT I WISH THIS WAS A PREMARITAL MUST.
• 2:04
  ANNA: YES. IT SHOULD BE.
• 2:05
  CINDY: THAT WHEN PEOPLE GO INTO MARRIAGE,
• 2:07
  THEY KNOW THERE'S NINE LIES THEY MIGHT BELIEVE
• 2:09
  THAT ARE LIES.
• 2:10
  DR. BOB: RIGHT.
• 2:11
  CINDY: SO BEFORE WE DO THAT, BOB, CAN WE GO BACK
• 2:14
  A LITTLE BIT, ACTUALLY PROBABLY LONGER
• 2:17
  THAN A LITTLE BIT, BUT WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD
• 2:20
  GROWING UP AT HOME, WHAT WAS THAT LIKE,
• 2:22
  AND THE FAMILY LIFE AS WE'RE GOING TO MOVE FORWARD
• 2:25
  AND TALK ABOUT YOUR LIFE TODAY?
• 2:27
  DR. BOB: YOU KNOW, I GREW UP IN A FAMILY OF DIVORCE.
• 2:31
  MY PARENTS DIVORCED WHEN I WAS A YEAR OLD,
• 2:34
  AND THEN BOTH REMARRIED BY THE TIME I WAS FIVE.
• 2:36
  SO I GREW UP IN TWO, YOU KNOW, REASONABLY STRONG,
• 2:41
  STABLE FAMILIES, VERY DIFFERENT.
• 2:44
  NO CHRISTIAN AT ALL, THOUGH.
• 2:45
  I MEAN, NO FAITH AT ALL.
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  I DIDN'T GROW UP AROUND THAT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM.
• 2:50
  SO IT'S KIND OF ALL I KNEW UNTIL I MET MY WIFE.
• 2:54
  CINDY: YEAH.
• 2:55
  DR. BOB: AND I WAS SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING ELSE.
• 2:59
  I KNEW THERE WAS MORE THAN WHAT I WAS LIVING.
• 3:03
  CINDY: WELL, DID YOU HAVE IN COLLEGE,
• 3:04
  IF I REMEMBER READING A LITTLE BIT,
• 3:06
  THERE WAS A LOT OF LOSS THAT HAD HAPPENED,
• 3:09
  FRIENDS OR DIFFERENT ONES?
• 3:11
  DR. BOB: OH, YOU KNOW, I WAS LIVING, I WAS A MUSICIAN.
• 3:14
  I WAS LIVING A LIFE OF GREAT EXCESS.
• 3:17
  AND I WATCHED PEOPLE HEADING TOWARD --
• 3:20
  YOU KNOW, I LOST A COUPLE OF FRIENDS TO EXCESS.
• 3:24
  I JUST REALIZED THERE HAD TO BE MORE.
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  I WAS JUST CAREENING TOWARD A DISASTER.
• 3:28
  I COULD SEE IT.
• 3:30
  SO I WAS SEARCHING FOR TRUTH.
• 3:33
  AND THE ONE THING THAT WAS TRUE, THOUGH, WAS I REALLY HAD
• 3:36
  A PRETTY IN-DEPTH PREJUDICE AGAINST CHRIST
• 3:39
  AND AGAINST CHRISTIANS.
• 3:39
  I DID NOT WANT TO BE A CHRISTIAN.
• 3:42
  ANNA: DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE?
• 3:44
  DR. BOB: YOU KNOW, I HADN'T,
• 3:45
  I'D HAD SOME BAD EXPERIENCES WITH PEOPLE
• 3:47
  THAT I FELT WERE LIKE BIBLE THUMPERS AND WERE,
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  YOU KNOW, TRYING TO CONVINCE ME HOW STUPID I WAS,
• 3:51
  AND THAT I WAS -- I DIDN'T KNOW, AND THEY KNEW
• 3:53
  AND WHATEVER.
• 3:55
  AND I NEVER READ ONE WORD OF SCRIPTURE PRIOR TO THAT TIME,
• 3:59
  BUT I JUST DIDN'T WANT IT TO BE JESUS.
• 4:01
  CINDY: AND YOU HAD JEWISH BACKGROUND.
• 4:02
  DR. BOB: I HAVE, YES, I HAVE A JEWISH BACKGROUND
• 4:04
  BUT I HAD NO FAITH.
• 4:06
  I MEAN, I DIDN'T GROW UP IN A RELIGIOUS HOUSEHOLD AT ALL.
• 4:08
  SO I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT MY HERITAGE.
• 4:11
  I JUST KNEW I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING
• 4:12
  TO DO WITH CHRIST.
• 4:13
  ANNA: IF SOMETHING HAPPENS LIKE THAT, I THINK,
• 4:15
  WHEN WE'RE RAISED THAT WAY OR IN THAT ENVIRONMENT
• 4:19
  WHERE YOU DO FINALLY SAY, THERE'S GOT TO BE
• 4:21
  SOMETHING MORE THAN THIS, IS THAT KIND OF HOW YOU WERE?
• 4:24
  DR. BOB: ABSOLUTELY.
• 4:26
  SO BECAUSE I WAS, I WAS OPPOSED TO CHRIST,
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  I WAS LOOKING AT BUDDHISM AND HINDUISM
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  AND REALLY ANYTHING ELSE.
• 4:35
  AND THEN I MET THIS GAL AND I KIND OF WAS
• 4:38
  ATTRACTED TO HER.
• 4:40
  AND SHE HAD HAD AN EXPERIENCE ABOUT A MONTH BEFORE
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  SHE MET ME THAT HAD HER RUNNING TOWARD CHRIST.
• 4:46
  BUT THANKFULLY FOR ME, SHE WAS SHORT ENOUGH
• 4:48
  INTO THAT JOURNEY THAT SHE'D CONSIDER HAVING
• 4:50
  A RELATIONSHIP WITH A HEATHEN LIKE ME.
• 4:52
  SO WE HIT IT OFF PRETTY QUICKLY, HOT AND HEAVY,
• 4:54
  AND GET GOING.
• 4:56
  AND THEN AS OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS PROGRESSING,
• 4:59
  SHE KEPT ASKING ME, YOU KNOW,
• 5:02
  YOU SAY YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR FAITH,
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  WHY WON'T YOU ASK JESUS IF HE'S REAL?
• 5:06
  AND I JUST DIDN'T WANT IT TO BE JESUS.
• 5:08
  SO I WOULD SIDESTEP THAT UNTIL WE HAD A BIT
• 5:11
  OF A CRISIS AFTER WE DECIDED TO GET MARRIED.
• 5:14
  ANNA: OKAY.
• 5:15
  DR. BOB: AND IT ALMOST LANDED US TO THE END.
• 5:20
  AND SHE WAS REALLY QUESTIONING WHETHER
• 5:24
  SHE SHOULD WED OUT OF YOKE.
• 5:26
  WE HAD, WE HAD SOME PREMARITAL COUNSELING --
• 5:29
  CINDY: I LOVE, I LOVE WHAT I READ ABOUT YOU SAYING
• 5:32
  THAT THE PASTOR, Y'ALL WERE GOING TO PREMARITAL COUNSELING
• 5:36
  DR. BOB: RIGHT.
• 5:37
  CINDY: AND Y'ALL WERE LIVING TOGETHER.
• 5:38
  DR. BOB: RIGHT.
• 5:39
  CINDY: AND SO --
• 5:40
  DR. BOB: WHICH I DON'T RECOMMEND, HAVING NOW TRIED IT.
• 5:41
  CINDY: RIGHT.
• 5:42
  BUT SHE WAS A YOUNG CHRISTIAN.
• 5:43
  DR. BOB: YES.
• 5:45
  CINDY: Y'ALL WERE WILLING AT LEAST TO GO TO THE PASTOR
• 5:46
  FOR PREMARITAL COUNSELING.
• 5:48
  BUT I LOVE WHEN THE PASTOR TOLD HER THAT --
• 5:51
  DR. BOB: WELL, HE SUGGESTED THAT --
• 5:52
  CINDY: YOU WERE UNEQUALLY YOKED.
• 5:53
  DR. BOB: YEAH.
• 5:55
  CINDY: AND YOU SAID THE ONLY YOKE I HAD EVER HEARD OF
• 5:56
  WAS IN AN EGG.
• 5:57
  DR. BOB: YEAH.
• 5:57
  I HAD NEVER HEARD OF THAT WORD.
• 5:58
  WELL, I DIDN'T GROW UP.
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  I GREW UP IN LOS ANGELES.
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  I WASN'T AROUND FARMS.
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  I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A YOKE WAS,
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  YOU KNOW, EXCEPT IN REFERENCE TO EGGS.
• 6:08
  BUT I COULD, BUT THE CONVERSATION CLEARLY TOOK
• 6:10
  A NEGATIVE TURN, AND HE REALLY GOT HER ATTENTION.
• 6:14
  AND AT THAT MOMENT WE THOUGHT,
• 6:16
  I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER.
• 6:17
  SHE THOUGHT SHE COULDN'T MARRY ME.
• 6:19
  SO ANYWAY, WE TALKED IT THROUGH.
• 6:22
  WELL, SHE SAID -- THIS IS REALLY WHAT HAPPENED.
• 6:24
  SHE SAID, I GOT TO CONSULT WITH GOD.
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  BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO NOT MARRY ME,
• 6:29
  BUT SHE DIDN'T SEE HOW SHE COULD GO FORWARD.
• 6:32
  SO SHE HAD ALWAYS HAD THE BIBLE RIGHT NEXT TO OUR BED,
• 6:37
  ON HER, ON HER NIGHTSTAND.
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  AGAIN, I NEVER READ ONE WORD.
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  SO SHE SAID, SO SHE WALKED INTO THE BEDROOM.
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  I FOLLOWED HER LIKE A WHIPPED PUPPY WITH
• 6:44
  MY TAIL BETWEEN MY LEGS,
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  AND SHE SAT DOWN ON THE BED
• 6:47
  AND LITERALLY TOOK THE BIBLE,
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  SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT LIKE SHE DOES NOW.
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  SHE'S LIKE A WALKING CONCORDANCE NOW,
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  BUT THEN SHE JUST HELD IT LIKE THIS AND SHE PRAYED.
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  AND THEN SHE LET IT FALL OPEN.
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  AND I WATCHED THIS.
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  AND AT THAT MOMENT I FELT THIS LIKE BREEZE
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  COME INTO THE ROOM,
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  I NOW KNOW WAS THE HOLY SPIRIT.
• 7:03
  BUT AT THE TIME, ALL I KNOW IS SOMETHING WEIRD
• 7:06
  JUST HAPPENED.
• 7:07
  THE HAIR ON THE BACK OF MY NECK STOOD UP
• 7:09
  AND IT TURNED TO 1 CORINTHIANS 7.
• 7:12
  AND I START READING OVER HER SHOULDER.
• 7:14
  FIRST TIME I'D EVER READ A WORD OF SCRIPTURE.
• 7:18
  AND IT'S SAYING BASICALLY, MORE OR LESS,
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  IF YOU, AS A WOMAN, ARE MARRIED TO A MAN
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  WHO'S AN UNBELIEVER,
• 7:24
  THAT YOU SHOULD STAY WITH HIM IN THE HOPES
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  THAT THROUGH YOUR LIFE AND WITNESS, HE WILL COME
• 7:28
  TO KNOW THE ONE TRUE GOD.
• 7:29
  AND I'M READING THIS GOING, OKAY,
• 7:31
  UNLESS THAT WHOLE BOOK IS TALKING ABOUT THAT,
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  THIS IS WEIRD.
• 7:36
  SO IT REALLY GOT MY ATTENTION.
• 7:37
  SHE SAID, OKAY, I'VE HEARD FROM GOD AND BASED ON
• 7:39
  OUR LIVING SITUATION, IN HIS EYES, WE'RE MARRIED.
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  AND I WILL MARRY YOU UNDER -- IF YOU'LL AGREE
• 7:47
  TO THREE CIRCUMSTANCES.
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  THE FIRST ONE ALMOST DID US IN.
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  SHE SAID, I NEED TO MOVE OUT AND GET MYSELF
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  RIGHT WITH GOD BECAUSE I'VE BEEN LIVING IN SIN.
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  AND I'M GOING, YOU LEAVE,
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  YOU AIN'T COMING BACK.
• 7:58
  SO I'M ALMOST LIKE, YOU KNOW, FIGURATIVELY
• 8:00
  HOLDING ONTO HER ANKLE.
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  I GOT HER TO AGREE TO MOVE INTO THE LIVING ROOM
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  WHERE WE HAD A HIDE-A-BED.
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  SO FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS UNTIL WE GET MARRIED,
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  SHE'S GOING TO STAY THERE.
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  I CAN'T SEE HER UNCLOTHED, NO PHYSICAL CONTACT.
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  ALL RIGHT.
• 8:14
  AND THEN SHE SAID YOU WOULD AGREE
• 8:17
  TO READ SCRIPTURE EVERY DAY.
• 8:18
  CINDY: YEAH.
• 8:19
  DR. BOB: AND GENUINELY PRAY TO ASK JESUS IF HE'S REAL.
• 8:23
  AND I SAID, SOUNDS FAIR ENOUGH.
• 8:25
  CINDY: OKAY.
• 8:26
  DR. BOB: SO I DID THAT FOR 30 DAYS.
• 8:28
  AND THE DAY BEFORE OUR WEDDING,
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  I JUST STARTED REFLECTING ON WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
• 8:35
  AND IT WAS LIKE TIME HAD STOOD STILL.
• 8:36
  I MEAN, I HAD HAD SUCH A PROFOUND,
• 8:38
  LIFE-CHANGING EXPERIENCE WITH CHRIST
• 8:40
  THAT I ACCEPTED HIM JUST PRIVATELY,
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  ME AND HIM, THE DAY BEFORE OUR WEDDING.
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  CINDY: AMAZING.
• 8:45
  DR. BOB: NOW, I DIDN'T KNOW WHETHER I COULD TRUST HER YET,
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  SO I DIDN'T TELL HER UNTIL THE DAY AFTER OUR WEDDING.
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  [ LAUGHTER ]
• 8:51
  DR. BOB: BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE IF SHE WAS GOING TO BE
• 8:52
  A WOMAN OF HER WORD.
• 8:53
  AND SHE DID.
• 8:54
  NOW, A COUPLE OF YEARS LATER, I WAS TELLING THAT STORY
• 8:56
  TO SOMEONE AND SHE SAID, YOU KNOW, BOB,
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  I'D HAD AN ENCOUNTER WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT TWO WEEKS
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  BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED, AND HE SAID,
• 9:02
  DON'T WORRY, HONEY, I GOT HIM.
• 9:04
  SO SHE WENT INTO -- SHE WENT INTO THE WEDDING
• 9:07
  COMPLETELY CONFIDENT.
• 9:09
  AND IT WAS A GAME CHANGER.
• 9:10
  AND I, I OWE MY LIFE TO THAT WOMAN.
• 9:13
  ANNA: YOU KNOW, BOTH OF YOU EXPERIENCED
• 9:15
  THE SUPERNATURAL POWER OF GOD.
• 9:17
  DR. BOB: ABSOLUTELY.
• 9:18
  ANNA: THAT IS WHAT IS SO AMAZING ABOUT HIS WORD.
• 9:20
  YOU KNOW, YOU THOUGHT, WELL, I'LL JUST READ THIS BOOK,
• 9:23
  BUT IT OPENED THE DOOR FOR THE POWER OF GOD
• 9:25
  TO COME UPON YOU.
• 9:26
  DR. BOB: ABSOLUTELY.
• 9:27
  ANNA: THAT IS SO GREAT.
• 9:28
  DR. BOB: AND I GOT TO TELL YOU, WE DIDN'T GIVE HIM
• 9:29
  A LOT TO WORK WITH.
• 9:30
  I KIND OF, TONGUE IN CHEEK NOW, TELL PEOPLE THAT
• 9:32
  JENNI AND I HAVE BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR 15 YEARS.
• 9:35
  NOW, LAST OCTOBER WE CELEBRATED
• 9:37
  OUR 45TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.
• 9:39
  SO IT WAS JUST THOSE FIRST THREE DECADES WE FOUND
• 9:42
  REALLY CHALLENGING, BUT WE NEVER GAVE UP ON GOD.
• 9:45
  AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HE NEVER GAVE UP ON US.
• 9:48
  AND HE HELPED US HAVE A -- I MEAN, WE STILL HAD GOOD TIMES
• 9:51
  DURING THAT TIME, BUT WE HAD LOTS OF
• 9:54
  SERIOUS CHALLENGES AND WE FINALLY HAD A BREAKTHROUGH.
• 9:57
  AND I WILL TELL YOU THAT IT'S AMAZING WHAT
• 10:00
  OUR MARRIAGE HAS BECOME, TO THE POINT THAT
• 10:02
  EIGHT YEARS AGO SHE STARTED SPEAKING WITH ME.
• 10:04
  CINDY: OH, WOW.
• 10:05
  DR. BOB: AND NOW WE TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD
• 10:07
  TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE AND HOW TO HELP COUPLES DO BETTER.
• 10:10
  AND IT'S AMAZING.
• 10:11
  AND MY CREDIBILITY HAS GONE THROUGH THE ROOF
• 10:13
  SINCE SHE STARTED TALKING WITH ME.
• 10:15
  CINDY: OH, AMAZING.
• 10:16
  AND SO FAST-FORWARD FROM THAT,
• 10:19
  HOW DID IT EVOLVE TO WHERE YOU ARE NOW
• 10:23
  AS MINISTERING TO COUPLES,
• 10:26
  AND YOU'RE THE VICE PRESIDENT
• 10:27
  OF FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, THE MARRIAGE INSTITUTE PART.
• 10:30
  YOU'RE IN THAT TODAY.
• 10:32
  ANNA: SO PHD.
• 10:33
  CINDY: YES.
• 10:34
  AND SO HOW DID THAT EVOLVE TO WHERE YOU ARE?
• 10:36
  I KNOW YOUR PARENTS WERE THERAPISTS
• 10:38
  AND I THINK COUNSELORS, WHICH IS AMAZING THAT
• 10:41
  YOU'RE FOLLOWING IN THAT FOOTSTEP.
• 10:43
  DR. BOB: IT'S ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS THAT GREG SMALLEY AND I,
• 10:46
  MY CO-AUTHOR ON THIS BOOK AND SEVERAL OTHERS,
• 10:49
  HAD IN COMMON, WAS THAT GREG GREW UP
• 10:51
  IN THE HOUSE OF GARY SMALLEY, WHICH WAS --
• 10:53
  CINDY: OH, I KNOW. A GREAT LEGACY.
• 10:54
  DR. BOB: WHICH WAS A BIG DEAL.
• 10:55
  AND MY PARENTS WERE SECULAR MARRIAGE
• 10:57
  AND FAMILY COUNSELORS.
• 10:59
  AND CELEBRITIES, AND, YOU KNOW,
• 11:01
  THERAPISTS TO THE STARS.
• 11:02
  WE GREW UP IN WEST LOS ANGELES AND HAD,
• 11:05
  YOU KNOW, BEST-SELLING BOOKS AND SO FORTH,
• 11:07
  BUT WITHOUT THE CHRISTIAN EMPHASIS.
• 11:08
  SO GREG AND I HAD A LOT IN COMMON AROUND THAT.
• 11:12
  AND THAT, THAT MADE IT INTERESTING.
• 11:15
  BUT WE, YEAH, I FOUND MY WAY THROUGH THAT.
• 11:19
  AND WHEN I WENT, WHEN I FELT CALLED INTO MINISTRY
• 11:21
  AND GOING BACK TO SCHOOL, I STARTED STUDYING IT
• 11:26
  FROM A CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE
• 11:27
  AND LEARNING ABOUT SCRIPTURE IN A DEEPER WAY.
• 11:30
  AND THEN FAST-FORWARD, I GOT TO BE ABLE TO
• 11:34
  CONNECT WITH GREG, AND WE STARTED
• 11:37
  TAKING WHAT I HAD, I HAD HAD SOME SPECIALIZED TRAINING
• 11:40
  IN DOING WHAT WE CALL INTENSIVE THERAPY,
• 11:44
  AND I HAD ONLY WORKED WITH INDIVIDUALS.
• 11:45
  AND GREG HAD A NEED WITH HIS FATHER,
• 11:48
  TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITH COUPLES.
• 11:50
  AND HE ASKED IF I WOULD BE WILLING TO HELP HIM
• 11:52
  DEVELOP A PROGRAM THAT WOULD ENABLE US TO SAY YES
• 11:55
  TO THE COUNTLESS PEOPLE WHO WOULD HEAR GARY SPEAK
• 11:58
  OR READ ONE OF HIS BOOKS, OR WATCH HIS TAPES,
• 12:02
  AND CRASH AND BURN AND NOT KNOW HOW TO GET BETTER.
• 12:05
  SO THEY WOULD CALL UP FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.
• 12:06
  AND GARY, WISELY, NOT BEING TRAINED AS A COUNSELOR,
• 12:10
  WOULD SAY NO.
• 12:11
  AND GREG SAID, THEY KEEP CALLING.
• 12:12
  CAN YOU HELP US DESIGN A PROGRAM THAT WOULD
• 12:14
  ENABLE US TO SAY YES?
• 12:16
  CINDY: AND YOU HAVE THOSE, FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND,
• 12:18
  ALL OVER THE UNITED STATES
• 12:20
  AND IN OTHER COUNTRIES, CANADA, AND I THINK SINGAPORE.
• 12:23
  DR. BOB: WELL, WE'RE STARTING GETTING READY TO DEVELOP
• 12:25
  A PROGRAM IN SINGAPORE AND MALAYSIA.
• 12:27
  CINDY: THAT IS AMAZING.
• 12:28
  DR. BOB: AND WE'RE TRAINING PEOPLE ALL AROUND THE WORLD.
• 12:31
  CINDY: SO PEOPLE CAN COME TO THESE PLACES
• 12:33
  AND THEY STAY FOR SEVERAL DAYS?
• 12:36
  DR. BOB: THREE, FOUR OR FIVE DAYS, DEPENDING ON WHICH
• 12:38
  PROGRAM THEY CHOOSE.
• 12:39
  AND WE DO WHAT'S CALLED INTENSIVE THERAPY,
• 12:41
  WHICH MEANS WE JUST WORK LIKE EIGHT HOURS A DAY
• 12:43
  FOR MULTIPLE DAYS, WHICH REALLY,
• 12:46
  IN A MARRIAGE COUNSELING SETTING,
• 12:47
  IS VERY HELPFUL BECAUSE TRADITIONAL COUNSELING,
• 12:50
  YOU KNOW, ONE HOUR A WEEK,
• 12:52
  IT'S HARD TO MAKE PROGRESS,
• 12:53
  ESPECIALLY IN MARRIAGE COUNSELING.
• 12:55
  YOU GOT HIS ISSUE, HER ISSUES, AND THEIR ISSUES.
• 12:57
  CINDY: OH, MY GOODNESS.
• 12:58
  DR. BOB: IT'S A LOT TO UNRAVEL.
• 12:59
  ANNA: WHAT WE WOULD FIND IS COUPLES WOULD COME IN
• 13:02
  AND THE ATTITUDE IS LIKE, IF YOU CAN FIX HER,
• 13:04
  I'LL BE HAPPY.
• 13:05
  DR. BOB: OH, YEAH.
• 13:05
  THEY ALL COME IN LIKE THIS.
• 13:06
  ANNA: OR FIX HIM, I'LL BE HAPPY. YES.
• 13:09
  DR. BOB: YEAH.
• 13:10
  CINDY: AND WHAT WE'D LIKE TO FIND OUT, TOO,
• 13:13
  IS, ANNA, GO AHEAD.
• 13:16
  ONE THING I WANT TO SAY I LOVE ABOUT
• 13:18
  YOUR PROGRAM IS THAT YOU FOLLOW UP.
• 13:23
  ANNA: YES.
• 13:24
  CINDY: HOW LONG AFTER THE COUPLE LEAVES THE INTENSIVE
• 13:27
  DO YOU FOLLOW UP WITH THEM?
• 13:28
  DR. BOB: WELL, WE'VE GOT RESEARCH THAT WE'RE DOING
• 13:29
  UP TO TWO YEARS OUT.
• 13:31
  CINDY: OH, WOW.
• 13:31
  DR. BOB: YEAH. AND WE'VE DONE,
• 13:33
  WE'VE DONE RESEARCH FURTHER THAN THAT.
• 13:35
  BUT CURRENTLY, WE'RE JUST CHECKING IN WITH PEOPLE,
• 13:37
  YOU KNOW, SEVERAL POINTS ALONG THE WAY
• 13:38
  JUST TO SEE HOW THEY'RE DOING,
• 13:40
  AND DEVELOPING PROGRAMS ALL ALONG
• 13:43
  TO HELP PEOPLE MOVING FORWARD TO KEEP THEM --
• 13:45
  CINDY: THAT IS SO, SO --
• 13:46
  DR. BOB: REALLY TO HONOR GOD.
• 13:47
  ANNA: YES.
• 13:48
  DR. BOB: WE REALLY DON'T WANT TO JUST TELL PEOPLE
• 13:50
  ENDURE MISERY OR MEDIOCRITY.
• 13:52
  WE WANT PEOPLE TO BE THRIVING LIKE
• 13:54
  OUR LORD WANTS US TO.
• 13:57
  I MEAN, THAT'S WHERE THE TESTIMONY --
• 13:58
  ANNA: NOT SURVIVE BUT THRIVE.
• 13:59
  DR. BOB: YEAH.
• 14:00
  ANNA: WELL, TELL US ABOUT THE NINE LIES THAT COUPLES BELIEVE.
• 14:03
  DR. BOB: WELL, THERE'S A NUMBER OF THEM.
• 14:04
  THESE ARE WHAT WE -- I MEAN, WE STARTED OFF,
• 14:08
  THE BOOK STARTED OFF BEING THE SEVEN LIES
• 14:09
  THAT WILL DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE.
• 14:11
  AND THEN AS WE'RE WRITING IT, WE GO, OOH, OOH, OOH,
• 14:12
  THERE'S TWO MORE.
• 14:13
  CINDY: THERE'S MORE.
• 14:15
  DR. BOB: AND THE PUBLISHER CAME AND SAID, OKAY,
• 14:16
  WE SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING.
• 14:17
  BY THE TIME YOU'RE DONE, IT'LL BE
• 14:18
  THE 13 LIES THAT -- NO, NO, NO, WE'LL STOP AT NINE.
• 14:21
  THERE'S MORE, BUT WE'LL STOP HERE.
• 14:23
  AND THESE ARE THE MOST COMMON ONES THAT WE FIND
• 14:25
  THAT WE'RE UNRAVELING WITH PEOPLE
• 14:27
  WHO ARE STRUGGLING.
• 14:28
  CINDY: YEAH.
• 14:29
  I KNOW THAT ONE OF THEM IS, WE ALL SEEM
• 14:32
  TO GET MARRIED BELIEVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
• 14:35
  THE CINDERELLA STORY,
• 14:36
  IT WAS ALWAYS MY FAVORITE GROWING UP.
• 14:38
  AND I THINK WE GET MARRIED LIKE THAT.
• 14:40
  BUT WHY IS THAT A LIE THAT WE BELIEVE?
• 14:43
  DR. BOB: WELL, YOU KNOW, AND I BOUGHT IT, TOO.
• 14:45
  I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WE GREW UP IN A WORLD,
• 14:46
  IN A CULTURE THAT ROMANTICIZES THE FAIRY TALE,
• 14:50
  WHICH STARTS ONCE UPON A TIME, AND ALWAYS ENDS,
• 14:54
  AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
• 14:56
  AND I'M THINKING --
• 14:57
  ANNA: WE ALL WANT THAT.
• 14:58
  DR. BOB: YEAH. WHY NOT?
• 14:59
  I LIKE HAPPY, LET'S GO THERE.
• 15:00
  AND THIS IS, THIS IS THE PROBLEM.
• 15:02
  IT'S A FAIRY TALE, FIRST OF ALL.
• 15:05
  AND THERE ARE MOMENTS IN LIFE IN THIS FALLEN WORLD
• 15:09
  THAT ARE ANYTHING BUT HAPPY.
• 15:12
  AND IF YOU JUDGE YOUR MARRIAGE AND ITS WELL-BEING
• 15:16
  COMPLETELY BASED ON WHETHER IT'S HAPPY
• 15:18
  IN ANY GIVEN SEASON, IT'S -- THERE ARE GOING
• 15:20
  TO BE TIMES WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO THINK, THIS MARRIAGE STINKS.
• 15:24
  AND THERE'S A PROBLEM AND WE NEED TO GET RID OF IT.
• 15:28
  AND WHAT REALLY CHANGED FOR ME WAS WHEN
• 15:32
  THE LORD REALLY GOT HOLD OF ME
• 15:34
  AND HELPED ME TO SEE THAT WHEN I WAS CHOOSING JENNI
• 15:36
  TO BE MY WIFE, I WAS NOT CHOOSING
• 15:38
  MY HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER PARTNER.
• 15:40
  I WAS CHOOSING MY JOURNEYING PARTNER.
• 15:43
  CINDY: OOH, I LIKE THAT.
• 15:44
  DR. BOB: THIS IS THE PERSON THAT I'M GOING
• 15:45
  TO JOURNEY WITH IN GOOD TIMES AND BAD TIMES,
• 15:47
  IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, COME WHAT MAY
• 15:48
  TILL DEATH DO US PART.
• 15:51
  AND THERE HAVE BEEN SOME SERIOUS CHALLENGES
• 15:55
  IN OUR LIFE THAT WE WOULD HAVE NEVER WRITTEN
• 15:57
  INTO OUR SCRIPT, HAD WE HAD THE FREEDOM TO DO SO.
• 16:01
  FOR INSTANCE, WE'VE GOT EIGHT GRANDCHILDREN,
• 16:05
  BUT ONLY SEVEN OF THEM ARE ALIVE.
• 16:07
  WE LOST OUR LITTLE GRANDDAUGHTER AT TWO AND A HALF
• 16:10
  ON VALENTINE'S DAY, NO LESS.
• 16:13
  AND I WANT TO TELL YOU, WHEN SHE WAS SICK
• 16:15
  AND GOING THROUGH THAT, AND I WATCHED WHAT HAPPENED
• 16:18
  TO HER PARENTS AND THE CHALLENGE THAT THEY HAD,
• 16:21
  IT WAS, IT WAS SUCH THAT THERE HAD --
• 16:24
  JENNI AND I HAD ALREADY TURNED THE CORNER.
• 16:27
  AND HAD IT NOT BEEN THE CASE, IT WOULD HAVE
• 16:30
  CAUSED US TO GO LIKE THIS.
• 16:31
  BUT INSTEAD, WE WENT LIKE THIS AND WE HUNG TOGETHER
• 16:35
  IN THE FACE OF INCREDIBLE CHALLENGES.
• 16:38
  AND THERE WERE TIMES WHEN WE WOULD LAY IN BED AT NIGHT
• 16:41
  GOING, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS.
• 16:43
  I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE WITH THIS, BUT WE WOULD
• 16:45
  PRAY TOGETHER AND WE WOULD CRY TOGETHER.
• 16:47
  AND, HONESTLY, LADIES, IT WAS SOME OF THE MOST INTIMATE,
• 16:50
  MEANINGFUL TIMES OF OUR ENTIRE MARRIAGE.
• 16:53
  BECAUSE, BOY, IT'S ONE THING TO BE ABLE
• 16:55
  TO BE GOOD WITH EACH OTHER WHEN THINGS ARE GOING GOOD,
• 16:58
  BUT WHEN YOU CAN COUNT ON HAVING EACH OTHER'S BACK
• 17:00
  WHEN THINGS ARE TOUGH, THAT'S A BIG DEAL.
• 17:03
  ANNA: SO DO YOU FIND SOMETIMES THAT
• 17:05
  IN THE MARRIAGE SITUATION, WHEN THERE IS A CRISIS LIKE THAT,
• 17:09
  THE COUPLES EITHER TURN AGAINST ONE ANOTHER
• 17:12
  OR TURN TO EACH OTHER,
• 17:14
  AND YOU ALL MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE THERE.
• 17:16
  BUT THAT'S HARD TO MAKE SOMETIMES.
• 17:17
  DR. BOB: YEAH.
• 17:19
  HAD IT NOT BEEN, HAD IT BEEN
• 17:20
  BEFORE WE HAD OUR TURNAROUND,
• 17:22
  I'M THINKING THAT WOULD HAVE CAUSED US
• 17:23
  TO GO LIKE THIS.
• 17:25
  AND I JUST THANK GOD THAT WE HAVE FIGURED OUT
• 17:27
  HOW TO HAVE A REALLY SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP.
• 17:30
  I MEAN, WE'VE GOT --
• 17:32
  CINDY: YOU'RE JOURNEYING TOGETHER.
• 17:33
  DR. BOB: YEAH, WE REALLY ARE.
• 17:34
  AND WE'RE SEEING IT THAT WAY, AND WE'RE LETTING GOD
• 17:36
  STAY AT THE HELM.
• 17:38
  CINDY: AND, YOU KNOW, ANOTHER LIE THAT YOU TALK ABOUT
• 17:40
  IN YOUR BOOK,
• 17:41
  AND I JUST WANT TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE,
• 17:42
  IF YOU KNOW SOMEBODY THAT'S STRUGGLING,
• 17:45
  THIS IS A GREAT BOOK TO GET.
• 17:46
  ANNA: AMEN.
• 17:49
  CINDY: BUT THERE'S THE LIE, ONE PLUS ONE EQUALS ONE.
• 17:53
  AND OFTENTIMES THE ETERNITY CANDLE THAT WE DO,
• 17:55
  OR THE UNITY CANDLE THAT WE DO AT THE MARRIAGE,
• 17:58
  WE BLOW OUT THE TWO AND LIGHT THE ONE.
• 18:01
  BUT TELL US ABOUT THAT.
• 18:02
  WHY DOES ONE PLUS ONE --
• 18:04
  ONE PLUS ONE EQUALS ONE IS A LIE.
• 18:06
  DR. BOB: WELL, PEOPLE MISTAKENLY IN OUR CULTURE,
• 18:08
  AND THIS IS PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH ENGLISH,
• 18:11
  WHEN WE TALK ABOUT ONENESS, OKAY, WE'RE TALKING
• 18:15
  ABOUT THE NUMBER ONE.
• 18:17
  WE'RE THINKING WE ARE.
• 18:18
  AND IF YOU BELIEVE THAT ONENESS IS ABOUT THIS,
• 18:22
  YOU'RE REALLY, FIRST OF ALL, IT'S NOT
• 18:24
  WHAT SCRIPTURE'S TALKING ABOUT.
• 18:26
  AND YOU CAN'T PULL THAT OFF.
• 18:27
  I MEAN, IF YOU LOOK AT MY WIFE AND I RIGHT NOW,
• 18:31
  WE ARE CLEARLY STILL TWO.
• 18:32
  OKAY.
• 18:34
  WE ARE, WE ARE VERY DIFFERENT, DIFFERENT TEMPERAMENT.
• 18:36
  WE HAVE NEVER ONE TIME IN OUR ENTIRE LIFE
• 18:38
  BEEN MISTAKEN FOR BROTHER AND SISTER.
• 18:39
  [ LAUGHTER ]
• 18:40
  WE DON'T LOOK ANYTHING ALIKE.
• 18:42
  SHE'S THE EXTROVERT.
• 18:43
  I'M ACTUALLY AN INTROVERT BY NATURE.
• 18:45
  I LOVE PEOPLE, BUT I,
• 18:46
  BUT I RECHARGE IN MY CAVE.
• 18:49
  CINDY: YEAH, TOTALLY.
• 18:50
  DR. BOB: AND WE'RE VERY, VERY DIFFERENT,
• 18:53
  AND THAT'S BY DESIGN.
• 18:55
  DIFFERENCES ARE NEVER ACTUALLY THE PROBLEM
• 18:58
  IN MARRIAGE.
• 18:59
  IT'S NOT KNOWING HOW TO VALUE AND ADEQUATELY
• 19:02
  UTILIZE THOSE DIFFERENCES.
• 19:04
  BECAUSE JENNI AND I ARE DIFFERENT
• 19:06
  BECAUSE GOD MADE US THAT WAY.
• 19:07
  ANNA: ABSOLUTELY.
• 19:08
  DR. BOB: AND DIFFERENCES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE BLESSING.
• 19:10
  CINDY: EXACTLY.
• 19:11
  SO HER STRENGTH ADDS TO YOU.
• 19:14
  YOUR STRENGTH ADDS TO HER.
• 19:15
  THAT'S WHAT I SEE WITH MY HUSBAND AND I IS,
• 19:17
  I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THE STRENGTHS
• 19:18
  AND THE DIFFERENCES IN HIM THAT I DON'T HAVE,
• 19:22
  BECAUSE IT MAKES US STRONGER AS A COUPLE.
• 19:24
  ANNA: YES, IT DOES.
• 19:24
  CINDY: AND VICE VERSA.
• 19:25
  DR. BOB: WHICH DOESN'T MEAN, IT'S NOT TO SAY THAT
• 19:28
  MARRIAGE, AT TIMES, DIFFERENCES AT TIMES
• 19:30
  AREN'T A ROYAL PAIN IN THE REAR END.
• 19:32
  CINDY: THEY CAN BE. TOTALLY.
• 19:34
  DR. BOB: BUT I WOULD RATHER FIND A WAY TO ADEQUATELY
• 19:38
  MAKE ROOM FOR MY WIFE TO BE FULLY WHO GOD
• 19:42
  CREATED HER TO BE, EVEN IF THAT'S CHALLENGING FOR ME
• 19:45
  TO BE FULLY WHO GOD CREATED ME TO BE.
• 19:48
  THAT'S THE CHALLENGE I'M WORTH,
• 19:50
  THAT'S WORTH MY TIME AND ENERGY TO PURSUE.
• 19:52
  CINDY: THAT'S A GREAT POINT.
• 19:53
  DR. BOB: AND ONE PLUS ONE EQUALS ONE,
• 19:56
  THERE'S NOTHING IN GOD'S ECONOMY
• 19:57
  THAT'S REDUCTIONISTIC.
• 19:59
  HE NEVER TAKES MORE AND MAKES IT LESS.
• 20:02
  WHEN HE BRINGS THINGS TOGETHER, THEY MULTIPLY
• 20:04
  LIKE HUSBAND AND WIFE, COME TOGETHER SEXUALLY
• 20:07
  AND CONCEIVE A CHILD.
• 20:08
  ONE PLUS ONE EQUALS THREE, OKAY, AND MORE.
• 20:12
  IN OUR CASE, SIX-PLUS GRANDCHILDREN
• 20:14
  AND GREAT GRANDCHILDREN, OKAY.
• 20:15
  IT'S EXPANDING.
• 20:17
  AND I DON'T WANT EITHER OF US TO BE ONE BIT LESS
• 20:22
  THAN WHO GOD CREATED US TO BE.
• 20:24
  CINDY: THAT IS SO GOOD.
• 20:25
  ANNA: WHAT ABOUT THE LIE THAT ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE?
• 20:29
  YOU KNOW, WE --
• 20:30
  CINDY: I THINK OF THAT SONG.
• 20:31
  ANNA: YES.
• 20:32
  WE KNOW A COUPLE WHO ADOPTED SEVERAL CHILDREN
• 20:34
  AND THEY WERE DAMAGED CHILDREN.
• 20:36
  AND THEIR ATTITUDE WAS, ALL WE NEED IS LOVE.
• 20:39
  THEY HAD HORRENDOUS PROBLEMS WITH THAT
• 20:42
  UNTIL THEY FINALLY STARTED GETTING HELP.
• 20:44
  BUT IT DOES TAKE MORE THAN LOVE, DOESN'T IT?
• 20:46
  DR. BOB: IT DOES.
• 20:47
  AND IT DOES -- BUT LOVE IS PRETTY VALUABLE.
• 20:49
  ANNA: IT IS.
• 20:50
  DR. BOB: BUT THERE'S ALSO COMMITMENT.
• 20:51
  AND SOME PEOPLE MAKE THE MISTAKE OF THINKING
• 20:54
  THAT IT'S EITHER ONE OR THE OTHER.
• 20:56
  AND I'M PRETTY CONFIDENT IT'S BOTH.
• 20:58
  ANNA: YES.
• 20:59
  DR. BOB: GOD WANTS US TO BE FILLED WITH HIM AND HIS LOVE.
• 21:01
  CINDY: YES.
• 21:02
  DR. BOB: AND TO ALSO BE COMPLETELY COMMITTED
• 21:04
  TO EACH OTHER AND TO HIM.
• 21:06
  AND IT'S THE TWO THINGS COMBINED, NOT ONE OR THE OTHER,
• 21:10
  THAT MAKES THIS, THAT MAKES THIS
• 21:11
  REALLY WORK FOR PEOPLE.
• 21:14
  AND, YOU KNOW, THE INTERESTING THING I FOUND
• 21:17
  IS THAT WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE BETTER,
• 21:21
  I KNOW THERE WAS A PERIOD OF TIME
• 21:22
  WHERE I REALLY FELT I WAS NOT ADEQUATELY LOVING JENNI
• 21:26
  TO THE DEGREE THAT I KNEW I COULD
• 21:27
  AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW.
• 21:29
  AND I THOUGHT MAYBE I NEEDED TO CRANK UP
• 21:30
  THE OLD LOVE ENGINE AND GENERATE SOME LOVE.
• 21:33
  AND GOD HELPED ME TO SEE THAT THAT WAS A MISTAKE.
• 21:35
  BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS, THERE'S NOT ONE DROP OF LOVE
• 21:39
  THAT IS EVER GENERATED FROM WITHIN
• 21:41
  ANY HUMAN BEING.
• 21:43
  1 JOHN 4:8 SAYS VERY CLEARLY,
• 21:45
  GOD IS LOVE.
• 21:48
  IT DOESN'T SAY BOB IS LOVE.
• 21:49
  CINDY: YEAH.
• 21:50
  DR. BOB: IT DOESN'T SAY --
• 21:52
  YOU PUT YOUR OWN NAME IN THERE.
• 21:53
  IT DOESN'T SAY THAT.
• 21:54
  SO THIS IS WHAT I REALIZED IS KEY.
• 21:56
  I NEED TO OPEN MY HEART AND LET HIS LOVE COME IN.
• 22:01
  CINDY: YES.
• 22:02
  ANNA: AND WHEN WE DON'T FEEL LIKE WE HAVE ENOUGH,
• 22:04
  THE SCRIPTURE THAT SAYS
• 22:05
  GOD'S LOVE IS SHED ABROAD IN OUR HEARTS,
• 22:08
  AND I THINK THAT'S FOR WHEN WE DON'T FEEL LOVING.
• 22:11
  BUT WE CAN CALL UPON HIS LOVE THAT IS SHED ABROAD
• 22:14
  IN OUR HEARTS AND WORK THROUGH THAT.
• 22:16
  DR. BOB: AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING,
• 22:17
  THERE WAS A SITUATION AROUND THAT TIME,
• 22:20
  THAT REALLY GOT MY ATTENTION.
• 22:23
  AND I HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH GOD.
• 22:25
  AND HE ALWAYS THROWS ME CURVES WHEN HE,
• 22:28
  WHEN I ASK HIM QUESTIONS.
• 22:30
  AND I WANTED HELP TO LOVE JENNI BETTER.
• 22:32
  AND HE SAID, AND I ASKED, CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THAT?
• 22:34
  WELL, OF COURSE.
• 22:35
  AND THEN HE SAID, OKAY, SO WHEN YOU TALK TO ME,
• 22:39
  WHERE DO YOU IMAGINE ME TO BE?
• 22:41
  AND I THOUGHT, WELL, I'VE GOT A GREAT ANSWER.
• 22:43
  I EITHER IMAGINE YOU SITTING ON YOUR THRONE IN HEAVEN
• 22:45
  OR RIGHT NEXT TO ME, LIKE MY TRUSTED FRIEND.
• 22:48
  AND HIS RESPONSE THROUGH ME,
• 22:49
  HE SAID, WHY?
• 22:51
  AND I THOUGHT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHY?
• 22:53
  I THINK THAT'S A GREAT ANSWER.
• 22:54
  HE SAID, AND THEN HE ASKED ME THIS.
• 22:56
  HE SAID, WHEN YOU TALK TO CHILDREN ABOUT ACCEPTING ME
• 22:58
  AS THEIR LORD AND SAVIOR, WHAT DO YOU
• 23:00
  TELL THEM THEY NEED TO DO?
• 23:02
  WELL, I MEAN, I KNOW TRADITIONS ARE DIFFERENT,
• 23:05
  BUT I KNEW THE ANSWER RIGHT AWAY.
• 23:06
  WELL, YOU SAY ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART.
• 23:09
  HE SAID, SO, BOB, IS THAT WHERE I LIVE?
• 23:11
  I SAID, WELL, I GUESS SO.
• 23:13
  HE SAID, THEN WHY DO YOU IMAGINE ME OUT HERE
• 23:15
  OR OVER HERE AS OPPOSED TO IN HERE?
• 23:17
  AND I THOUGHT, BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE.
• 23:19
  AND HE SAID, BOB, I DON'T JUST LIVE IN YOUR HEART,
• 23:21
  I LIVE IN YOUR WHOLE BEING.
• 23:23
  AND HE SAID, THEREFORE, EVERY TIME YOU
• 23:26
  LOOK THROUGH THESE EYES, YOU HAVE A CHOICE AS TO
• 23:28
  WHOSE YOU'RE LOOKING THROUGH, YOURS OR MINE.
• 23:32
  AND I WENT, I GOT IT.
• 23:34
  I SAID, GOD, CAN YOU LET ME SEE HER THROUGH YOUR EYES?
• 23:38
  ANNA: OOH, THAT'S AWESOME.
• 23:39
  DR. BOB: AND HE SAID, I WOULD LOVE TO.
• 23:40
  AND I STARTED LOOKING AT JENNI THROUGH GOD'S EYES.
• 23:42
  AND I WAS SHOCKED AT WHAT I SAW AND HOW DIFFERENT IT WAS
• 23:47
  FROM WHAT I WOULD SEE JUST LOOKING THROUGH MY OWN EYES.
• 23:49
  ANNA: YES.
• 23:50
  DR. BOB: BUT IT DIDN'T JUST END THERE.
• 23:50
  IT GOT EVEN BETTER.
• 23:51
  HE SAID, AND WHEN YOU FEEL WITH THIS HEART,
• 23:53
  YOU HAVE A CHOICE AS TO WHOSE HEART YOU'RE FEELING,
• 23:56
  YOURS OR MINE.
• 23:58
  I SAID, WOW.
• 24:00
  COULD YOU LET ME FEEL YOUR LOVE FOR HER?
• 24:02
  HE SAID, BOB, I WOULD BE DELIGHTED.
• 24:04
  AND I BEGAN TO EXPERIENCE GOD'S LOVE FOR JENNI
• 24:07
  AND WHAT HE LOVES ABOUT HER AND WHAT HE VALUES IN HER,
• 24:10
  AND GOT TO COMPARE MY VIEW AND HIS VIEW.
• 24:13
  MY FEELINGS AND HIS FEELINGS, AND SHOCK OF SHOCKS,
• 24:16
  I LIKE HIS BETTER.
• 24:18
  CINDY: WOW.
• 24:19
  DR. BOB: NOW I HAD ONE LAST THING THAT REALLY WAS
• 24:20
  A GAME CHANGER.
• 24:22
  SEVERAL MONTHS LATER, I WAS IN THE BATHROOM
• 24:24
  AND I WAS REMINDED OF HOW MUCH OF A DISDAIN
• 24:27
  I HAVE FOR MIRRORS.
• 24:29
  YOU KNOW, I SPEND AS LITTLE TIME LOOKING IN MIRRORS
• 24:32
  AS I POSSIBLY COULD BECAUSE I NEVER LIKED
• 24:33
  WHAT I SAW STARING BACK AT ME.
• 24:36
  AND ALL OF A SUDDEN IT DAWNED ON ME, AND I SAID,
• 24:39
  GOD, COULD YOU LET ME SEE ME THROUGH YOUR EYES?
• 24:43
  AND HE SAID, SON, I WOULD LOVE TO.
• 24:45
  AND I BEGAN TO SEE ME THROUGH HIS EYES.
• 24:47
  AND THEN I ASKED HIM, CAN I FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL FOR ME?
• 24:50
  AND I WANT TO TELL YOU, I KNEW GOD LOVED ME,
• 24:53
  BUT, LADIES, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KNOWING GOD LOVES ME
• 24:56
  AND FEELING GOD'S, EXPERIENCING GOD'S LOVE FOR ME,
• 25:00
  NIGHT AND DAY DIFFERENT.
• 25:02
  I MEAN, IT WAS A GAME CHANGER.
• 25:05
  ANNA: THAT HAD TO MAKE YOU FEEL SO VALUED.
• 25:06
  DR. BOB: OH, MY GOSH.
• 25:07
  ANNA: AND SO ACCEPTED.
• 25:08
  DR. BOB: THE DEGREE TO WHICH MY FATHER LOVES ME
• 25:11
  IS MIND-BLOWING, AND EVERY ONE OF US HAS THE EXACT
• 25:15
  SAME OPPORTUNITY EVERY MINUTE.
• 25:18
  CINDY: YOU KNOW, I WISH, I JUST FEEL THE HOLY SPIRIT
• 25:22
  RIGHT NOW MINISTERING.
• 25:24
  AND I WISH YOU COULD LOOK IN THE CAMERA HERE
• 25:26
  AND THOSE THAT ARE WATCHING, THERE'S SOMEBODY
• 25:29
  THAT REALLY NEEDED THAT WORD RIGHT NOW.
• 25:31
  DR. BOB: NO DOUBT.
• 25:32
  CINDY: THEY NEED TO SEE THROUGH THE EYES OF GOD,
• 25:34
  THE LOVE OF GOD, AND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR
• 25:37
  LIKE YOU DID, AND SEE YOURSELF THE WAY GOD SEES YOU.
• 25:40
  COULD YOU MINISTER AND SPEAK TO THOSE PEOPLE?
• 25:42
  DR. BOB: YOU BET.
• 25:43
  SO WHOEVER YOU ARE OUT THERE, EVERY ONE OF YOU
• 25:46
  OUT THERE, OUR LORD, OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN,
• 25:50
  DESPERATELY LOVES US, AND ALL HE WANTS IS
• 25:53
  TO BE CLOSE TO US AND TO BLESS US.
• 25:55
  HE WANTS HIS CHILDREN BLESSED,
• 25:58
  JUST LIKE YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN BLESSED.
• 26:00
  AND THAT'S NOT, THAT'S NOT EVERYBODY ELSE EXCEPT YOU.
• 26:03
  THAT IS EXACTLY FOR YOU.
• 26:05
  SO PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR.
• 26:07
  YOU WILL --
• 26:08
  NOTHING WILL BLESS YOUR FATHER IN HEAVEN MORE
• 26:11
  THAN YOU ALLOWING HIM TO LOVE YOU AND BLESS YOU
• 26:15
  AND INTRODUCE YOU TO WHO HE CREATED YOU TO BE.
• 26:18
  BECAUSE, GUYS, IT IS EXACTLY, PERFECTLY,
• 26:22
  YOU ARE WHO GOD INTENDED YOU TO BE.
• 26:24
  YOU DON'T NEED TO CHANGE ONE DROP
• 26:26
  TO BE PLEASING TO GOD.
• 26:28
  HE DIDN'T CREATE YOU AND GO, OOPS, I MADE A MISTAKE
• 26:32
  ON THAT ONE.
• 26:33
  HE CREATED YOU AND HE WENT, WOW, I DID AMAZING.
• 26:36
  AND IF YOU WILL LET HIM BLESS YOU AND INTRODUCE YOU
• 26:40
  TO THAT PERSON THAT HE ADORES,
• 26:42
  YOU WILL BE BLESSED AND IT WILL BLESS HIM.
• 26:45
  CINDY: YES.
• 26:46
  WILL YOU PRAY FOR THEM RIGHT NOW?
• 26:47
  DR. BOB: ABSOLUTELY.
• 26:48
  LORD JESUS, I JUST PRAY RIGHT NOW THAT
• 26:51
  WHOEVER IS HEARING THIS MESSAGE AND IS
• 26:53
  STRUGGLING TO RECEIVE IT, LORD,
• 26:55
  THAT YOU WOULD TOUCH THEM IN A POWERFUL WAY
• 26:58
  AND THAT YOU WOULD MAKE YOUR PRESENCE KNOWN TO THEM,
• 27:00
  THAT THEY WOULD BE UNMISTAKABLY CLEAR
• 27:03
  THAT YOU LOVE THEM AND THAT YOU CREATED THEM,
• 27:06
  AND THEY ARE NOT A MISTAKE, THAT THEY ARE
• 27:09
  EXACTLY WHO YOU CREATED THEM TO BE.
• 27:11
  AND THEY POSSESS EVERY DROP OF WHAT YOU GAVE THEM,
• 27:14
  AND THAT YOU WANT THEM TO RECOGNIZE IT,
• 27:17
  TO EMBRACE IT AND BRING IT TO THIS WORLD.
• 27:19
  HELP THEM RIGHT NOW TO KNOW THIS TRUTH
• 27:22
  THAT WILL SET THEM FREE.
• 27:24
  IN JESUS' NAME WE PRAY.
• 27:26
  CINDY: YES.
• 27:27
  ANNA: AMEN. DR. BOB: AMEN.
• 27:29
  CINDY: THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.
• 27:30
  WOW. I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE WE'RE ALREADY AT THE CLOSE
• 27:34
  OF THIS SHOW TODAY.
• 27:35
  THANK YOU, BOB.
• 27:36
  THANK YOU SO MUCH.
• 27:37
  I DO BELIEVE LIVES WERE TOUCHED TODAY.
• 27:40
  I BELIEVE SOMEBODY OUT THERE TODAY SAW THEMSELVES
• 27:44
  THE WAY GOD SEES THEM AND THEIR LIFE WILL BE
• 27:46
  CHANGED FOREVERMORE.
• 27:47
  WELL, I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THAT WE'RE ALREADY OUT OF TIME.
• 27:50
  BUT AS WE CLOSE TODAY'S SHOW,
• 27:52
  DON'T FORGET THAT NO MATTER WHAT MAY BE BROKEN
• 27:56
  OR HOW YOU MAY FEEL LOST IN YOUR LIFE,
• 27:58
  GOD IS READY TO RESTORE HOPE.
• 28:00
  HE'S READY TO MAKE ALL THINGS NEW.
• 28:03
  DON'T EVER, DON'T EVER GIVE UP.
• 28:06
  ANNA: AMEN. YES.
• 28:07
  CINDY: AND IF YOU NEED PRAYER TODAY,
• 28:08
  PLEASE CALL OUR TOLL FREE NUMBER,
• 28:10
  1-800-329-0029.
• 28:14
  AND OUR PRAYER PARTNERS ARE THERE,
• 28:16
  THEY'RE STANDING BY.
• 28:17
  THEY'RE READY TO PRAY FOR YOU.
• 28:20
  AND I JUST WANT TO THANK DR. BOB PAUL TODAY.
• 28:23
  I WANT TO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING WITH US,
• 28:25
  AND US LEARNING ABOUT YOUR BOOK, 9 LIES.
• 28:28
  I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU TODAY, PICK UP A COPY OF THIS BOOK.
• 28:31
  OR IF YOU KNOW A COUPLE THAT IS
• 28:33
  DESPERATELY NEEDING HELP, OR YOU KNOW A YOUNG COUPLE
• 28:36
  THAT'S ABOUT TO GET MARRIED,
• 28:38
  THIS, TO ME, IS GREAT PREMARITAL ADVICE.
• 28:42
  PICK UP THE BOOK TODAY.
• 28:43
  SO FOR MORE, YOU CAN VISIT HIM ONLINE
• 28:45
  AT HOPERESTORED.COM.
• 28:48
  AND AS ALWAYS, FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA,
• 28:50
  SUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE, AND LISTEN TO THE PODCAST
• 28:53
  WHEREVER YOU STREAM.
• 28:55
  THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING US TODAY.
• 28:57
  AND UNTIL NEXT TIME, BYE-BYE.
• 28:59
  ♪♪
• 29:00
  ANNOUNCER: THIS EPISODE HONORS THE LEGACY
• 29:01
  OF OUR LATE PRESIDENT, JONI LAMB.
• 29:04
  UNTIL NEXT TIME, BYE-BYE FOR TODAY.
• 29:06
  ♪♪