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Why You’re Burned Out From Always Being Dependable · Hustle Rebels: Burnout Recovery for Over-Achievers

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was once called a cockroach by a guy that I was casually dating.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know that might sound like a diss, but I knew that he meant it as a term of endearment.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: He said something like, you know what?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: You're scrappy.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like a cockroach.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: You'll always survive anything because you'll just figure it the fuck out.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I do.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I have worn that identity like a badge of honor my entire life.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: The I'll just figure it the fuck out part.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Less of the cockroach part.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: But isn't that something that seems like a strength?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, damn, I'm really good at fixing things.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Life gets me down, and I spring back up.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Something goes wrong, and I just find another way.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing can hold me down because somehow I will always find a way.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: I always manage to just figure it the fuck out.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I have always been proud of that aspect of myself.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: But what if I'm just tired of holding on to that identity?
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: What if it served its purpose, got me through a lot of really hard shit, but now it's just worn me out.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because frankly, I realized this weekend that I am ready to shed that old identity.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: I am fucking tired of figuring it the fuck out.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel me?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Real quick, this is the weekly recharge.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: The part of the Hustle Rebels where I take something that happened in my actual life, pick apart how I handled it, what I learned from it, and see if any of it hits home and resonates for you too.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: If you like conversations like this, make sure you subscribe, follow, like, or share the episode with someone who also needs to hear it.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want more tools or resources around burnout, nervous system regulation, and getting unstuck from the shit that keeps running your own life, check out the links in the description below.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, back to me being a scrappy cockroach.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: So it really hit me hard last week when I learned that I need another surgery.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: I've mentioned it briefly, but I currently have a complication from my previous emergency surgery, the one that started this whole domino effect, and I officially need another surgery at the beginning of November.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: At first, my brain just immediately went into figure it out mode.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: How do I work around gigs, work, networking, meetings, everything?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: My surgeon told me that I need six full weeks of recovery, and my brain instantly started making a plan.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I can still do gigs if I get people to help me load in, set up, load out, then I won't lift anything.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: I can make this work.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then I stopped and thought, wait, why am I doing this?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I working so hard to make this work when the surgeon literally said I need six full weeks to recover?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: See, I know how this ends.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: I've done this before.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Three years ago, when I had the three surgeries in 18 months, and I had literally the exact same mentality.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Go, go, go.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Get back as fast as possible.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Work around it.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Make it work.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I took a step back this weekend and I realized I don't really actually care about the few hundred bucks that I'm gonna make at each gig.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm actually terrified of letting people down.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's really what this is.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I always show up.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like canceling.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like leaving people scrambling.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm letting people down, and if something gets in the way, I just figure out how I have to work around it.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: But what about me?
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because I've been so focused on not letting everyone else down that I've been letting myself down.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: I've been putting myself last and just calling it loyalty and reliability.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And looking back at all the other surgeries, I did the exact same thing then too.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was so focused on getting back to normal, getting back to work and making everything fit around recovery, that it probably never gave myself the chance to actually heal the way that I needed to.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And here we are again.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now I can't say for sure that that's why I'm dealing with another complication now, because this will be the third complication and the fourth thing that has happened because of this, but I can look at the pattern and realize that maybe doing the exact same thing again isn't exactly genius.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to take this as a karmic lesson.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: A chance to do it right this time around.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I've learned a lot more since going through all the other shit the first time, and maybe now is the part where I actually implement it.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think that's the tricky thing about identities like this.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: They don't feel like problems.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: They feel like strengths.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Being dependable and resilient, being the person that people know that they can always count on and able to handle shit when it goes sideways.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe those things are strengths.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm starting to realize that there's a big difference between being capable of handling hard things and constantly expecting yourself to.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because at some point, I'll figure it out stopped being something that I did when I needed to, and it became someone who I was, which was the scrappy one who just always survived and figured it the fuck out.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Which also never left any room for anyone else to have to figure it out for themselves.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm tired of that.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: So this week's practice is going to be shedding your badge of honor.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Think about an identity that you have worn like a badge of honor.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's something you've always been proud of.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: You've always been dependable and hardworking, strong, independent, or the person that just can handle anything that gets thrown at them.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then ask yourself, is this still serving me, or have I just always held on to it?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe the bigger question, what would happen if I stopped proving that I was that person?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: For me, it means taking the whole damn six weeks, not finding loopholes, not trying to outsmart recovery, not seeing how much that I can squeeze in without technically breaking the rules, actually recovering.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the cockroach can finally take a fucking break.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then this week on Hustle Rebels Podcast, in case you missed it, last week I talked about something that gets wildly oversimplified.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Burnout at work is way more than working too many hours.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: This poor leadership, lack of control, constant pressure, low recognition, values conflict, and never being able to mentally shut off can easily burn someone out, even if their hours don't look outrageous on paper.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I broke down what burnout can actually look like.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the warning signs that leaders and employees miss, and three things that you can start doing right now to reduce it.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've ever thought, I'm not even working that much, why am I so fucking exhausted?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Or you lead people and want them to actually stay, you should give this one a listen.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can watch it on YouTube or your favorite podcast platforms, probably like the one that you're listening on now.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe this week isn't about figuring it out.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's about noticing where you keep forcing yourself to be the person who can handle everything.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And deciding that you don't have to prove that anymore.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna work on starting to take my own advice for once.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Wish me luck.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: See you guys next week.