Latest / The You Project / #1640 WTF Is Self-Transcendence - Harps
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Good a Groovers another installing the new projects. Hope you
- 0:03Speaker 1: have the bloody great day. So I'm recording. I don't
- 0:07Speaker 1: know why I always tell you what I'm fuck it
- 0:09Speaker 1: just so you know, so you know where I'm at.
- 0:12Speaker 1: So it's Monday, the ninth of the ninth, September the ninth,
- 0:16Speaker 1: and it's two eleven and yesterday I did a workshop
- 0:21Speaker 1: which I spoke about in yesterday's podcast, yest day to
- 0:24Speaker 1: workshop in Melbs. We're going to take that all around Australia.
- 0:28Speaker 1: We might becoming a Brisbane soon. I just spoke about
- 0:30Speaker 1: that to Melissa just before. Might becoming a Brisbane soon
- 0:33Speaker 1: to do that. We'll think about that anyway. So did it?
- 0:36Speaker 1: Workshop yesterday called Understanding You were Me and a whole
- 0:40Speaker 1: bunch of people in an auditorium at Deacon University Slow Down, Harps.
- 0:45Speaker 1: Me and a whole bunch of people at Deacon University
- 0:49Speaker 1: opened the door on the topic of trying to understand ourselves,
- 0:57Speaker 1: kind of that self knowledge, self awareness, self for who
- 1:01Speaker 1: am I? How am I? Why do I think the
- 1:04Speaker 1: way that I think? Why do I make the decisions
- 1:08Speaker 1: that I make? Why do I do the stuff that
- 1:11Speaker 1: I do? The good stuff the bad stuff, the dumb stuff?
- 1:16Speaker 1: Am I living consciously? Am I living unconsciously? Do I
- 1:21Speaker 1: do things which are at odds with who I want
- 1:25Speaker 1: to be and how I want to be? Am I
- 1:27Speaker 1: living in alignment? What are my values? What are the
- 1:30Speaker 1: things that matter to me? And does my typical lifestyle
- 1:37Speaker 1: and the way that I do everything from health and
- 1:40Speaker 1: wellness to communication, to career, to spending money to being
- 1:45Speaker 1: a member of society does the way that I do
- 1:48Speaker 1: all of those things typically represent or reflect who I
- 1:52Speaker 1: want to be as a human. My values, my standards,
- 1:56Speaker 1: my purpose, all the shit that allegedly brothers and sisters
- 2:00Speaker 1: allegedly matters to me. So we opened the door on
- 2:06Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. And for me, my experience and
- 2:11Speaker 1: observation from a personal perspective, me analyzing me, which is
- 2:18Speaker 1: an interesting thing to do. But self awareness is kind
- 2:20Speaker 1: of my field, it's my PhD area of research. But
- 2:25Speaker 1: you know, as an observer of other humans, also the
- 2:29Speaker 1: ever present challenge of trying to understand why do I
- 2:33Speaker 1: do the stuff that I do? And why am I
- 2:36Speaker 1: Why am I self sabotaging? Why am I overthinking? Why
- 2:39Speaker 1: am I underdoing? Why do I make decisions which are
- 2:44Speaker 1: at odds with improvement and growth and development and all
- 2:51Speaker 1: of that stuff is fascinating. You know, me talking today
- 2:55Speaker 1: is not going to be a it's not going to
- 2:57Speaker 1: be a panacea or a three step solution. But I
- 3:02Speaker 1: just want to keep opening the door on this topic
- 3:06Speaker 1: because I believe that if we can understand ourselves better,
- 3:10Speaker 1: understand our mind, understand our thinking, understand our emotions, understand
- 3:15Speaker 1: our actions and reactions, and understand the way that we
- 3:18Speaker 1: are in the world and the way that we are
- 3:20Speaker 1: for ourselves, but also the way that we are and
- 3:24Speaker 1: aren't perhaps for others and around others. Now, pursuant to
- 3:32Speaker 1: that desire, I said yesterday that I was going to
- 3:36Speaker 1: share like a framework, which is really a synergy or
- 3:40Speaker 1: a combination of a whole lot of thoughts and ideas
- 3:44Speaker 1: from different people. I've added to it. I've put my
- 3:49Speaker 1: own little touch and insights and stories into it. But
- 3:56Speaker 1: this is part of what I'm about to share. I
- 3:59Speaker 1: shared the other day at my workshop, my Melbourne workshop.
- 4:03Speaker 1: So it's like I said, it's Monday, so the other
- 4:05Speaker 1: day being yesterday, and I said that I would unpack
- 4:09Speaker 1: this further on my podcast. So for those of you
- 4:13Speaker 1: who were there on Sunday, welcome back. This is me
- 4:15Speaker 1: kind of finishing this off or recovering or reflecting on
- 4:18Speaker 1: this for you and for those of you who weren't
- 4:21Speaker 1: there on Sunday, this is kind of I guess it's
- 4:25Speaker 1: like a framework or a model that you could use
- 4:29Speaker 1: to either start to be proactive and lean into this
- 4:35Speaker 1: getting to know you, getting to understand the self capital
- 4:40Speaker 1: s self that is in the middle of your life.
- 4:44Speaker 1: It's so hard to be objective about ourselves, isn't it,
- 4:46Speaker 1: Because we are us? Because my experience of me is subjective.
- 4:51Speaker 1: Your experience of you is subjective. Your experience you the listener,
- 4:56Speaker 1: your experience of everything around you is some because you're
- 5:00Speaker 1: looking through the U window. Through the U filter, you're
- 5:04Speaker 1: looking at every person, every event, and every situation, every
- 5:08Speaker 1: problem and every opportunity through the lens. That is your
- 5:11Speaker 1: beliefs and ideas and values and education and all of
- 5:14Speaker 1: those things. As am I. So to truly to try
- 5:19Speaker 1: to understand ourselves with a greater level of awareness with
- 5:25Speaker 1: a through a somewhat more objective lens and a less
- 5:30Speaker 1: subjective lens is the real challenge. So, without further ado,
- 5:39Speaker 1: there's eight steps to this and I'm going to walk
- 5:43Speaker 1: you through them. I'm going to explain to you what
- 5:44Speaker 1: they are, and then I'm going to kind of operationalize it,
- 5:52Speaker 1: or to put it into practice, using me and one
- 5:57Speaker 1: of my issues, one of my numerous issues as an
- 6:01Speaker 1: example for you to understand how you might use what
- 6:04Speaker 1: I'm about to teach you or share with you in
- 6:07Speaker 1: a practical way. So there are eight steps. So I'll
- 6:11Speaker 1: just share these eight with you now and then i'll
- 6:14Speaker 1: unpack them in some detail. So number one is self reflection,
- 6:17Speaker 1: Two is self awareness, three is self knowledge, four is
- 6:21Speaker 1: self acceptance, five is self regulation, six is self improvement,
- 6:25Speaker 1: seven is self actualization, and eight is self transcendence. All right,
- 6:30Speaker 1: here we go. So what is self reflection? This is
- 6:33Speaker 1: more the education part. I'll give you a real and
- 6:37Speaker 1: of course, you know, I don't expect you to necessarily
- 6:40Speaker 1: operationalize this today or even do anything with it. Maybe
- 6:43Speaker 1: it's just for you something of interest, and it's going
- 6:46Speaker 1: to be hard to remember all of this, but you
- 6:48Speaker 1: might want to reply it at some stage and take
- 6:51Speaker 1: notes just to get your head around it. But so
- 6:55Speaker 1: stage one, self reflection is the practice of intentionally examining
- 6:58Speaker 1: your relationships thoughts, motions, behaviors, experiences, beliefs, habits, patterns, and
- 7:04Speaker 1: outcomes in order to gain a deeper understanding of yourself,
- 7:09Speaker 1: of you. This stage is not about judgment, evaluation, or labels.
- 7:15Speaker 1: It's just about curiosity and recognition in a way. This
- 7:21Speaker 1: is about, as Eckhart Toll would say, this is about
- 7:25Speaker 1: you becoming the observer of you. And this kind of
- 7:31Speaker 1: the self reflection enables us to identify patterns and behaviors
- 7:38Speaker 1: and traits that might be good or bad. That allows
- 7:45Speaker 1: us to if we need to make different decisions, do
- 7:47Speaker 1: different things and grow or move in a different direction.
- 7:52Speaker 1: So that's self reflection. Number two is self awareness, which
- 7:56Speaker 1: is just the ability to recognize and understand what's going
- 8:00Speaker 1: on with us and for us our thoughts, our emotions,
- 8:04Speaker 1: our drivers, our behaviors, sometimes those in the moment behaviors,
- 8:10Speaker 1: and how all of that stuff affects both you, me
- 8:15Speaker 1: and those around us. It involves being conscious of our
- 8:20Speaker 1: internal states, feelings, motivations, thinking, desires, as well as being
- 8:26Speaker 1: aware of how we're perceived by others in different situations.
- 8:30Speaker 1: Remember that beta perception. Self awareness intersects with emotional intelligence
- 8:36Speaker 1: and helps us manage our responses to situations, make better
- 8:41Speaker 1: decisions or more informed decisions, and align our actions with
- 8:46Speaker 1: our values. It allows us to identify areas or needs
- 8:51Speaker 1: where we need to grow, where we need to learn, unlearn,
- 8:56Speaker 1: develop better relationships, navigate life with greater intentionality, consciously shaping
- 9:05Speaker 1: our life through this awareness. Number three, so self knowledge
- 9:11Speaker 1: number three is the understanding of your own personality, values, belief, strengths, weaknesses, emotions,
- 9:18Speaker 1: and motivations. This involves having a clear sense of who
- 9:22Speaker 1: you are, what drives you, so your reason, your reason
- 9:27Speaker 1: for doing stuff, your motivator for doing stuff or motivators,
- 9:32Speaker 1: and also to understand what matters to you, what is
- 9:36Speaker 1: really important to you, what do you want from life?
- 9:39Speaker 1: And self knowledge goes beyond self awareness as it includes
- 9:44Speaker 1: like a much deeper understanding of the self, not just
- 9:48Speaker 1: a momentary awareness, but a real deep comprehension of your
- 9:53Speaker 1: inner workings, how you are and why you are the
- 9:57Speaker 1: way you are. Self acceptance, yes, number four, is the
- 10:02Speaker 1: process of fully embracing and acknowledging all aspects of yourself,
- 10:09Speaker 1: both good and bad, strengths and weaknesses, without undue criticism
- 10:13Speaker 1: or self loathing, while also knowing that you've got the
- 10:17Speaker 1: capacity for growth, learning development, doing better, positive change. It
- 10:21Speaker 1: means recognizing your imperfections, mistakes, and limitations, but not letting
- 10:26Speaker 1: them define you, define your self worth or your perceived
- 10:32Speaker 1: value instead of striving for an unrealistic version of perfection.
- 10:38Speaker 1: Self acceptance is it's really about cultivating compassion and understanding
- 10:42Speaker 1: for you, for yourself and accepting both the good stuff
- 10:47Speaker 1: and the bad, your achievements, your strengths, your flaws as
- 10:51Speaker 1: part of your unique identity. But also self acceptance is
- 10:57Speaker 1: not some people get this, or maybe this is some
- 11:01Speaker 1: people's interpretation. It's not my interpretation that that self acceptance is, Oh,
- 11:08Speaker 1: I'm terrible at that, I'll always be terrible at that.
- 11:11Speaker 1: To me, that's self limitation, but it is it is
- 11:15Speaker 1: so for me. An example of self acceptance for me
- 11:17Speaker 1: would be there have been times where I've intended one thing,
- 11:23Speaker 1: but I've done I've been offensive to people I never
- 11:26Speaker 1: wanted to, or some people find me intimidating. I will
- 11:30Speaker 1: do my very best, that's just something I know. I'll
- 11:34Speaker 1: do my best not to be that, but I have
- 11:36Speaker 1: to accept that there are certain people that won't like me.
- 11:39Speaker 1: There are certain people don't like the way that I
- 11:40Speaker 1: communicate that's okay. Nonetheless, I will strive to be the
- 11:45Speaker 1: best version of me, so that, by the way, I
- 11:47Speaker 1: will never create optimal connection with everyone, but I'm going
- 11:52Speaker 1: to kind of aim for that, knowing that I'll never
- 11:54Speaker 1: quite get there, but hopefully what I'll get is further
- 11:58Speaker 1: down the line, closer to that end of the scale.
- 12:01Speaker 1: Number five is self regulation, and this is the ability
- 12:05Speaker 1: to be able to manage and control our emotions, thoughts,
- 12:10Speaker 1: and behaviors in different situations, to create positive shift, to
- 12:17Speaker 1: improve our operating system in real times social outcomes, to
- 12:21Speaker 1: build better habits, and to achieve long term goals. And
- 12:26Speaker 1: also with self regulation is a big part of it,
- 12:29Speaker 1: I believe, is being able to be able to perform
- 12:32Speaker 1: under pressure, responding to challenges and impulses in a balanced,
- 12:39Speaker 1: thoughtful way rather than reacting poorly or emotionally. And like
- 12:48Speaker 1: you know, the whole concept of equanimity is being able
- 12:51Speaker 1: to be the calm and the chaos, And so for me,
- 12:53Speaker 1: quite often self regulation means not saying something I'm thinking,
- 12:58Speaker 1: you know, impulse can emotional management, being able to lean
- 13:05Speaker 1: into that uncomfortable thing and just be there, be there
- 13:10Speaker 1: without reacting inappropriately being able to delay gratification, being able
- 13:17Speaker 1: to not talk when sometimes I really want to talk,
- 13:21Speaker 1: but I have an awareness that it's not the right time,
- 13:24Speaker 1: or it's not the right situation or the right person.
- 13:28Speaker 1: So that self regulation number six is self improvement. So
- 13:32Speaker 1: I guess in the context of this conversation, self improvement
- 13:37Speaker 1: just refers to the ongoing process of consciously working to
- 13:41Speaker 1: be better. It's that process that I'm always in the
- 13:45Speaker 1: middle of. You're always in the middle of to enhance
- 13:48Speaker 1: your knowledge and skills and behaviors and thinking and overall
- 13:53Speaker 1: well being in a way that aligns with your values,
- 13:59Speaker 1: your belief setting, constantly setting and resetting goals, making deliberate
- 14:07Speaker 1: and conscious attempts to grow emotionally, mentally, sociologically, practically, physiologically,
- 14:15Speaker 1: perhaps any area of your life where you seek to improve, learn, grow,
- 14:19Speaker 1: evolve with that to be better. This is the process,
- 14:23Speaker 1: the process, and you know self help is self help
- 14:29Speaker 1: is pretty much a product these days, but truly, at
- 14:32Speaker 1: its core, self help or personal development, or in this example,
- 14:36Speaker 1: self improvement is a practical process that we can put
- 14:42Speaker 1: ourselves in the middle of. Daily number seven. We're getting there.
- 14:47Speaker 1: Self actualization is the process of realizing and fulfilling our potential,
- 14:54Speaker 1: perhaps not our absolute ten out of ten, but self
- 14:59Speaker 1: actualization is where we're now starting to be where we
- 15:02Speaker 1: wanted to be, achieve what we've been wanting to achieve,
- 15:06Speaker 1: produce the results that we hope we would, and now
- 15:10Speaker 1: we're doing it. We're actualizing the thing or things that
- 15:14Speaker 1: we set out to do. It's getting to where we
- 15:17Speaker 1: wanted to go in inverted commas, while still having other
- 15:23Speaker 1: journeys ahead of us. I think most of us, you know,
- 15:29Speaker 1: realize that that the final destination is death, but between
- 15:35Speaker 1: now and then, you know it's going to be peaks
- 15:37Speaker 1: and troughs, and we're going to get where we wanted
- 15:39Speaker 1: to go, and hopefully there'll be some joy and satisfaction
- 15:43Speaker 1: and sense of achievement in that, but there's always going
- 15:46Speaker 1: to be something new. Now. That doesn't mean we can't
- 15:50Speaker 1: take joy or we can't be super grateful for what
- 15:53Speaker 1: we're achieving. But the self actualization part is I've done this,
- 15:58Speaker 1: I've achieved this, I created this result. This is great.
- 16:02Speaker 1: I'm full of gratitude, but also I need to keep
- 16:07Speaker 1: growing and learning. There's more that I can do. But
- 16:10Speaker 1: self actualization is a really important part of the overall journey.
- 16:15Speaker 1: Self transcendence is number eight. This is almost my favorite
- 16:22Speaker 1: part because or my favorite kind of concept, because for me,
- 16:28Speaker 1: it's really about having a purpose bigger than me. It's
- 16:32Speaker 1: about it's about not being all about me, and it's
- 16:37Speaker 1: about serving others. I guess self transcendence can be considered
- 16:43Speaker 1: almost like in this paradigm, while it's literally the final stage,
- 16:48Speaker 1: but in terms of our own development, like the final
- 16:51Speaker 1: stage where it involves going beyond personal fulfillment and takes
- 16:57Speaker 1: us to that place where we focus on contributing to
- 17:01Speaker 1: the greater good, connecting with a purpose larger than me,
- 17:07Speaker 1: like humanity, like nature, like other people, the greater good.
- 17:13Speaker 1: It's about shifting from individual growth to collective wellbeing, fostering
- 17:18Speaker 1: compassion for others, altruism, and a sense of interconnectedness. And
- 17:25Speaker 1: I guess in this stage self transcendence, people often seek
- 17:29Speaker 1: meaning through you know, something a bit more than self
- 17:33Speaker 1: help and dollars and practical outcomes. Quite often this is
- 17:37Speaker 1: where people open the spiritual door in an attempt to
- 17:42Speaker 1: you know, transcend just all that normal nuts and bolts
- 17:46Speaker 1: of ticking boxes and fulfilling to do lists and reaching goals,
- 17:52Speaker 1: and it's kind of it represents a broader, more outward
- 17:56Speaker 1: focused way of living where the individual you me in
- 17:59Speaker 1: the middle love it all. We find meaning, We find
- 18:04Speaker 1: joy in being part of something bigger than ourselves, in
- 18:10Speaker 1: contributing to the greater good, that is those in our world,
- 18:14Speaker 1: be that our immediate world or the greater world. All right,
- 18:18Speaker 1: So that wraps up a kind of an overview of
- 18:22Speaker 1: all of those. So what I'm going to do to
- 18:24Speaker 1: finish this off is I'm going to I'm going to
- 18:28Speaker 1: give your practical example working through those eight constructs, all
- 18:33Speaker 1: those eight components that process. So number one, remember number
- 18:40Speaker 1: one was self reflection, and so I'm going to use
- 18:44Speaker 1: a and this is the start of the eighth steps,
- 18:46Speaker 1: So self reflection. So the reflection for this example is
- 18:52Speaker 1: and I'm going to refer this. I'm going to use
- 18:54Speaker 1: me as an example, so no one else gets offended.
- 18:57Speaker 1: And then you can you can use whatever a kind
- 19:00Speaker 1: of idea or subject or topic or issue or question
- 19:06Speaker 1: to be the genesis for your eight steps. So self reflection.
- 19:12Speaker 1: What am I like? So this is what I'm focusing
- 19:15Speaker 1: on for this example. What am I like around others?
- 19:19Speaker 1: What am I like around others? How am I around others?
- 19:24Speaker 1: And by how am I? I mean professionally and personally
- 19:28Speaker 1: and emotionally and socially and energetically. Notice how some people
- 19:34Speaker 1: have got great energy and you want to be around them.
- 19:37Speaker 1: I love that. I love that, and it's almost inexplicable,
- 19:40Speaker 1: like what is that about? I don't know. There's something
- 19:42Speaker 1: about that person. They have amazing energy. I love being
- 19:45Speaker 1: around them. So self reflection. The starting point for these
- 19:48Speaker 1: eight steps is what am I like? Number two self awareness?
- 19:53Speaker 1: So this is me talking about me, and this is
- 19:56Speaker 1: all an honest reflection. Self awareness times and this has
- 20:01Speaker 1: been when I say a self reflection, this has been
- 20:05Speaker 1: true for much of my journey. Over time, I feel
- 20:09Speaker 1: like I'm transcending or at least improving some of it. So,
- 20:14Speaker 1: but definitely all of what I'm about to share has
- 20:16Speaker 1: been relevant for me. If not now, then definitely at
- 20:20Speaker 1: some stage. But much of it's still relevant now. Self
- 20:24Speaker 1: awareness Step two. Here's my self awareness. Sometimes I try
- 20:29Speaker 1: to impress people, which is ironically unimpressive. Sometimes self awareness
- 20:34Speaker 1: I overtalk and under listen. Sometimes self awareness what I'm
- 20:41Speaker 1: doing isn't working. Self awareness. Sometimes I can be intimidating.
- 20:49Speaker 1: Someone said to me the other day we were talking
- 20:53Speaker 1: and I may have been overloading them with information may
- 20:57Speaker 1: or may not have your honor, And they just looked
- 20:59Speaker 1: at and they went, you're a lot, You're a lot.
- 21:05Speaker 1: And I laughed, I when I am a lot. And
- 21:08Speaker 1: then they said, in a good way, it's awesome, but
- 21:10Speaker 1: fuck you know. And I know that about me, And
- 21:14Speaker 1: sometimes I get excited, and sometimes sometimes in my excitement
- 21:21Speaker 1: to share, to teach, to inspire to coach, I actually
- 21:25Speaker 1: missed the mark. So Number one self reflection is what
- 21:29Speaker 1: am I like? Number two self awareness I just shared
- 21:32Speaker 1: with you. Number three self knowledge? So what do I
- 21:34Speaker 1: know about me? Based on that initial reflection? What I
- 21:39Speaker 1: know self knowledge. I can be insecure, which impacts how
- 21:42Speaker 1: I am socially. Self knowledge. I periodically suffer from imposter syndrome.
- 21:47Speaker 1: Self knowledge. I have historically felt not smart enough at times.
- 21:53Speaker 1: Self knowledge. What I know is, which is reflecting on
- 21:57Speaker 1: self awareness. I can be intimidating. What I know is
- 22:00Speaker 1: I don't want to be intimidating self knowledge. How I
- 22:05Speaker 1: see me, how I see me is typically not how
- 22:08Speaker 1: others see me. Urgo the impetus for my PhD research,
- 22:18Speaker 1: self knowledge. Sometimes I bang on about stuff that excites
- 22:22Speaker 1: me as I shared a minute ago, but not the
- 22:26Speaker 1: other person. Step four is self acceptance. Self acceptance. Some
- 22:32Speaker 1: people won't like me and some will, and that's okay.
- 22:37Speaker 1: Self acceptance. My good intentions won't always have good outcomes.
- 22:43Speaker 1: Also okay, kind of unavoidable. Self acceptance. I'm flawed, but
- 22:51Speaker 1: I will work hard to improve, grow, learn and do
- 22:54Speaker 1: good in the world. Self acceptance. I've made many mistakes
- 22:58Speaker 1: when interacting with others, and I'll probably make lots more.
- 23:03Speaker 1: Self acceptance. I'm not always a great person to be around,
- 23:09Speaker 1: but I can work to do better. Self acceptance. I
- 23:14Speaker 1: will always coexist with my issues. And while the volume
- 23:20Speaker 1: might go up or down on those issues self doubt, insecurity,
- 23:24Speaker 1: overthinking all that human staff and why. While I might
- 23:27Speaker 1: be more or less impacted generally less these days, which
- 23:31Speaker 1: is good, there's always going to be an element of
- 23:34Speaker 1: that stuff on Planet Craig, and so the acceptance part
- 23:39Speaker 1: is it's there. That's okay. I will coexist with my
- 23:42Speaker 1: self doubt. I will co exist with those feelings of
- 23:46Speaker 1: inadequacy periodically, and insecurity it's okay. I don't need to
- 23:51Speaker 1: wait for all but all the inadequacy and insecurity and
- 23:56Speaker 1: fear to vanish because it won't can coexist with that
- 24:02Speaker 1: number five self regulation. Remember the starting point for this
- 24:06Speaker 1: was self reflection. What am I like for others? Self regulation?
- 24:12Speaker 1: I will work hard to develop theory of mind. Remember,
- 24:17Speaker 1: theory of mind is a construct in psychology that means
- 24:20Speaker 1: understanding how other people think. So I will work hard
- 24:26Speaker 1: to understand how other people think. This is an interpersonal superpower,
- 24:30Speaker 1: this skill. I will work hard to understand how this
- 24:36Speaker 1: moment is for the other person with whom I'm connecting, talking, interacting,
- 24:41Speaker 1: problem solving, creating, whatever it is. We're on number five
- 24:45Speaker 1: self regulation self regulation. I will listen more and work
- 24:49Speaker 1: to be truly present when I'm in conversation, consultation, or
- 24:55Speaker 1: any kind of personal or professional interaction. I will consciously
- 25:01Speaker 1: endeavor to develop metaperception and meta accuracy. Metaperception being my
- 25:08Speaker 1: ability to understand how I am for others, metaaccuracy, how
- 25:12Speaker 1: good I am at it. So I will seek to
- 25:15Speaker 1: understand the Craig experience for my audience, be that an
- 25:18Speaker 1: audience of one or ten thousand, on a podcast, whatever
- 25:22Speaker 1: it is, Because if I can understand the Craig experience
- 25:25Speaker 1: for my audience. Then I can create better connection, better report.
- 25:32Speaker 1: Self regulation Number five, we're on. I will seek first
- 25:35Speaker 1: to understand and then to be understood. I'll seek first
- 25:39Speaker 1: to understand the person in front of me. They're thinking,
- 25:43Speaker 1: their words, their intention, their reason, their motivation, why we're here,
- 25:49Speaker 1: what they're really saying. Then once I kind of get
- 25:53Speaker 1: some clarity around that, then I'm going to try to
- 25:56Speaker 1: get them to understand what I'm about. But first I'm
- 26:00Speaker 1: all about them. And the last one under this kind
- 26:03Speaker 1: of heading of self regulation is I will not overtalk
- 26:08Speaker 1: good luck without harps. Number six self improvement. As I said,
- 26:14Speaker 1: this is the ongoing process, right, So self improvement, I
- 26:18Speaker 1: will fully commit to the ongoing process of consciously working
- 26:21Speaker 1: to enhance my personal interactions, how I am for others,
- 26:27Speaker 1: my understanding of the personal persons in front of me,
- 26:31Speaker 1: my communication skills, my self awareness, my situational awareness, and
- 26:36Speaker 1: my capacity for in the moment focus and attention. Well,
- 26:40Speaker 1: that's a big one. That's self improvement. Self improvement. I
- 26:45Speaker 1: will recognize my growth and evolution in this context. I
- 26:50Speaker 1: will recognize it, i will lean into it, and I'll
- 26:53Speaker 1: keep working on it. Self improvement. I will pay attention
- 26:57Speaker 1: to my data. You and I are always producing outcomes, results.
- 27:02Speaker 1: What we're doing in relationships, with our training program, in
- 27:07Speaker 1: the gym, with our diet, with our spending, with our career,
- 27:11Speaker 1: with our study, with all of our endeavors, We're constantly
- 27:15Speaker 1: producing data. I'll pay attention to my data, to my results,
- 27:19Speaker 1: to my outcomes, and I'll respond accordingly. I won't keep
- 27:24Speaker 1: doing what doesn't work. And the last one under the
- 27:29Speaker 1: banner of self improven is I will have a greater
- 27:31Speaker 1: understanding of the Craig experience for others. I will have
- 27:37Speaker 1: that I am having that. I've developed that over the
- 27:41Speaker 1: last five, ten, fifteen years. I still have a way
- 27:43Speaker 1: to go, but I have way more insight into that
- 27:46Speaker 1: through various mechanisms and processes and protocols, like, for example,
- 27:51Speaker 1: feedback from other people, like reading what people write about
- 27:59Speaker 1: my talks or my work workshops, or I did a
- 28:01Speaker 1: workshop yesterday. Obviously, as you know, we got some really
- 28:04Speaker 1: beautiful feedback, which was nice. Sometimes I don't get amazing feedback.
- 28:10Speaker 1: That's okay as well. I want to understand what it's
- 28:14Speaker 1: like being around me for others so that I can
- 28:16Speaker 1: create the best connection and the best experience for others
- 28:19Speaker 1: that I can second. Last one is self actualization. Self actualization.
- 28:26Speaker 1: I am beginning to realize and fulfill my potential as
- 28:30Speaker 1: a communicator, conversationalist, educator, coach, author and podcast Remember the
- 28:36Speaker 1: starting point for all of this was what's it like
- 28:38Speaker 1: being around me? Self actualization. I am becoming the best
- 28:45Speaker 1: version of me in this space self actualization. I'm creating
- 28:49Speaker 1: better social outcomes for both me and others, myself and others.
- 28:56Speaker 1: Self actualization. Some people enjoy being around me. That's a
- 28:59Speaker 1: good thing. Self actualization. I'm less fearful, needy, and insecure
- 29:05Speaker 1: in front of people. Self actualization. I'm becoming more person
- 29:10Speaker 1: and less persona. That is I think at this stage
- 29:15Speaker 1: my journey, thank God, I should be. But I believe
- 29:18Speaker 1: that I'm more authentically me, more raw, more real, more
- 29:24Speaker 1: more almost private me in a public setting than I've
- 29:27Speaker 1: ever been, and that's what I want to be. My
- 29:30Speaker 1: goal is zero persona. I don't want to be a
- 29:34Speaker 1: version of me for an audience. I don't want to
- 29:36Speaker 1: be a version of me or you. I want to
- 29:38Speaker 1: be me, and if you like me, you like me.
- 29:40Speaker 1: If you don't, you don't if you're inspired or disappointed
- 29:43Speaker 1: or frustrated or fucking entertained, it is what it is,
- 29:47Speaker 1: and that's okay. But the closer that I am to
- 29:51Speaker 1: my private self remember public personal private secrets, the closer
- 29:58Speaker 1: that I am to that kind of what is generally
- 30:01Speaker 1: that version of you that's reserved for one or two.
- 30:06Speaker 1: My goal is to be that version of myself for
- 30:09Speaker 1: most people most of the time. To keep that door open,
- 30:13Speaker 1: to be vulnerable, to be to be okay with embarrassment,
- 30:17Speaker 1: to be okay with flaws and faults, to be okay
- 30:20Speaker 1: with looking stupid, as well as all the good stuff.
- 30:26Speaker 1: And the last one in terms of my example, so
- 30:31Speaker 1: self transcendence. Remember the starting point for this whole kind
- 30:36Speaker 1: of little protocol with self reflection, What am I like
- 30:39Speaker 1: to be around for others self transcendence. I will use
- 30:45Speaker 1: my skills, knowledge and energy to serve others self transcendence.
- 30:51Speaker 1: I will have an awareness and purpose bigger than me
- 30:54Speaker 1: self transcendence. I will help others succeed self trans sentence.
- 31:00Speaker 1: I will seek to understand the genius, wisdom, and guidance
- 31:04Speaker 1: that exists beyond the tininess of my mind. My understanding
- 31:09Speaker 1: and my version of reality. What does that mean? That
- 31:12Speaker 1: means that there's the there's the knowledge, the intellect, the wisdom,
- 31:16Speaker 1: the small amount of genius that lives in my mind.
- 31:20Speaker 1: But then there's all the rest. There's all of the
- 31:24Speaker 1: rest of the genius, wisdom, intellect, guidance that exists in
- 31:30Speaker 1: the universe beyond the very small parameters of my mind,
- 31:35Speaker 1: and I want to tap into that and the last
- 31:38Speaker 1: one self transcendence. I will strive to operate from a
- 31:41Speaker 1: platform of love, kindness, gratitude, and humility towards others. Now,
- 31:48Speaker 1: obviously all of this is all of what I just
- 31:53Speaker 1: shared with you. For me is true in that that's
- 31:55Speaker 1: who I try to be and how I try to be.
- 31:59Speaker 1: Obviously I don't nail that all of the time. But
- 32:02Speaker 1: I just think that this this idea of or this
- 32:08Speaker 1: framework of you know, being able to try to understand
- 32:14Speaker 1: ourselves with this you methodical kind of approach. I'm not
- 32:20Speaker 1: the most methodical guy or protocol driven guy a lot
- 32:24Speaker 1: of the time, but I think that this might might
- 32:28Speaker 1: be a nice framework for some of you to use
- 32:32Speaker 1: or not. Uh, you'll know, all right, team, love your guts,
- 32:38Speaker 1: see y