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Chris Fabry Live - Secrets for Your 20s · Disciple Radio

0:05
S1: Today at the Radio Backyard Fence, a candid conversation about
0:08
S1: the things that vex 20 somethings. From a man who
0:11
S1: has been there, he says for years. In his 20s,
0:15
S1: he experienced ample amounts of unsuccess. He became bitter, frustrated,
0:20
S1: angry at God and man at himself. His 20s weren't
0:25
S1: turning out to be the success fest he had planned,
0:28
S1: and somebody everybody was to blame. You've heard the question,
0:33
S1: what would you tell your younger self if he could
0:36
S1: go back in time? What would Paul say to his
0:38
S1: own heart? And how might that conversation help you as
0:42
S1: a parent or as a 20 something? Find out straight
0:45
S1: ahead on the program. From the heart to the heart
0:47
S1: for the heart. Paul Langone is standing by. Let's get
0:50
S1: started with this recorded edition of Chris Fabry Live with
0:54
S1: a thank you to Ryan McConaughey doing all things technical.
0:57
S1: Trish is our producer. Lisa is helping out. No phone
1:01
S1: answerer today, so don't call us. And since it's Friday.
1:04
S1: That's right. It's time for the fabulous favorite Friday. Sigh
1:07
S1: what does it do. Chris I'll tell you. One we
1:09
S1: oxygenate your blood. Two we get your endorphins going. Three
1:12
S1: we raise your serotonin. Level four we promote lymphatic drainage. And.
1:17
S1: Five we stimulate your parasympathetic system. That's why we call
1:20
S1: it the five lung languages. We also stimulate your vagus nerve.
1:25
S1: We help you release acetylcholine. And don't you dare forget
1:27
S1: what it does to cortisol dissipation. Take in four seconds
1:31
S1: of air through your nose right now. Hold it for seconds.
1:35
S1: And then as you release that air through your mouth,
1:37
S1: push on the left side of your rib cage to
1:39
S1: get rid of all that bad carbon dioxide. Give a
1:42
S1: sigh today for those 20 somethings looking for love. Looking
1:45
S1: for a mate, looking for a job. Give a sigh
1:48
S1: for the 22 year old who excelled at the university,
1:51
S1: did everything she was supposed to do and has a
1:53
S1: hard time finding employment in her field. And she's discouraged.
1:58
S1: She studied hard. She played by the rules. And now
2:00
S1: it feels like life was an unfair game. Give a
2:03
S1: sigh for that. 25 year old who looks at his phone,
2:05
S1: compares his life with some of his friends, and feels
2:08
S1: less than less than today's fabulous favorite Friday sighs brought
2:12
S1: to you by the 20 year olds you know and
2:20
S1: The man. The myth. The legend. Paul Anthony has returned.
2:23
S1: He brings truth, hope and hilarity for college graduates, 20
2:27
S1: somethings and 30 somethings. He's a best selling author, the
2:30
S1: creator of all grown up.com, GROANA national keynote speaker to
2:37
S1: colleges and corporations. And he has a master's degree in
2:40
S1: organizational leadership. Don't hold it against him. He's married to Naomi.
2:44
S1: They have four children. They live in Tennessee. Paul. Welcome back.
2:48
S1: How you.
2:48
S2: Doing today? I'm doing great. Thanks for having me back.
2:51
S2: That was like watching a master at work. I mean,
2:53
S2: how you said all those words, timed it perfectly, did
2:56
S2: the actions. I mean, I'm taking notes here as I
2:59
S2: as I hear you do this.
3:01
S1: I've done that a lot of years.
3:02
S2: Oh my.
3:03
S1: Goodness. I've done that a lot. Now did I get
3:05
S1: anything in that 20 somethings. Did I get anything right?
3:08
S2: Oh, you named it perfectly. I think you got right
3:09
S2: to the heart of the frustration and the. What in
3:13
S2: the heck am I doing with my life? What am
3:16
S2: I going to do now? And apparently, everything I thought
3:18
S2: I knew, I don't know. And what do you where
3:22
S2: do you go from that point.
3:24
S1: And the frustration of.
3:25
S2: That? And like you said, I felt that same way.
3:28
S2: You know, that that's where this passion and this book
3:30
S2: came from for my own feeling of why do I
3:33
S2: feel like such a failure? Why can't I figure this out? Hey,
3:36
S2: I was the kid with good grades and I climbed
3:38
S2: all the right steps, got the right internship, went to
3:41
S2: the right school, did all the right things. And I
3:43
S2: climbed all those steps. And I threw open the doors,
3:45
S2: expecting my dream dream life to unfold in front of me.
3:49
S2: And instead I felt like I was back in the
3:51
S2: basement somehow. And there was a bunch of locked doors
3:55
S2: and dark halls and that guy sitting under the light bulb.
3:59
S2: You know that one guy and you give them your
4:01
S2: resume and he just laughs at it and rips it up,
4:04
S2: you know? That's how I felt. And so it was
4:06
S2: a very eye opening, frustrating experience. And then I started
4:09
S2: realizing I wasn't the only one going through this. And
4:13
S2: that's why I started writing about it and talking about
4:15
S2: it and became my, my passion for, for really my career.
4:19
S1: So here it is again. This often happens. It's like
4:21
S1: the wound that you have becomes a place of healing
4:24
S1: for yourself and then a place of life for others. Yes,
4:28
S1: you've seen that happen, right?
4:29
S2: Yeah, I often say, and that's what I'm saying in
4:31
S2: that when I'm talking about the 101 secrets for Your 20s,
4:34
S2: these are mainly things that I learned along the way
4:38
S2: as I was going through those rejections and failures and setbacks, wondering, God,
4:42
S2: when am I going to experience the success like I
4:45
S2: was supposed to? And it was struggling through that where
4:50
S2: I started realizing that obviously, God has his perfect timing,
4:55
S2: and he was with me all along, and he was
4:57
S2: growing me in character and humility. And if I would
5:01
S2: have gotten the best selling book that I was crying
5:03
S2: out for at 25, it would have ruined me. I
5:06
S2: was not ready for it. And really, all the problems
5:10
S2: and all the pain and all the struggle that was
5:13
S2: becoming my purpose. That was becoming my passion. It was becoming,
5:18
S2: you know, helping 20 somethings became something I could not
5:22
S2: not do.
5:23
S1: Yes.
5:24
S2: And I think when somebody gets to that place, that's
5:26
S2: that powerful place where God can really use you.
5:29
S1: I, uh, I stumbled on to a book by Alan Arkin,
5:33
S1: the actor, and he passed away, I think, a couple
5:36
S1: of years ago. But he said the very same thing
5:40
S1: that you just alluded to, and it was in his 20s,
5:43
S1: I think that he said he was struggling. He was striving,
5:46
S1: he wanted to succeed, and he kept failing. And he
5:53
S1: realized then later on in life how much that failure
5:58
S1: helped him. You know, it was stepping stones for him.
6:01
S1: And then as he looked around him at the younger
6:04
S1: people that he was trying to help, because he did
6:06
S1: these workshops and things for young actors, he realized how
6:10
S1: averse they were to failure and how they didn't risk,
6:14
S1: and how they didn't try anything because they didn't want
6:18
S1: to fail, and how that can stunt your growth. Yeah.
6:21
S2: I often say that failure doesn't ruin your story. Failure
6:25
S2: helps you write your story. And it's really through those
6:29
S2: failures that we learn and grow. And God can instill
6:33
S2: so much in us. And really, we see failure kind
6:36
S2: of what you were alluding to through such a limited capacity.
6:39
S2: We don't see it through the lens of eternity like
6:42
S2: God does. And I think many of us can look
6:44
S2: back and say, I know I can, where I thought
6:47
S2: something was a huge success. Something was this big breakthrough
6:50
S2: moment in my life, and I thought I was going
6:53
S2: to propel me to my future. And then I look
6:54
S2: back at that thing that I thought was going to
6:56
S2: be huge. And it was nothing. It was it was
6:58
S2: actually the opposite of success. It actually turned into a
7:01
S2: terrible thing. And then I look back at times where
7:03
S2: I fell flat on my face, I failed. I thought
7:05
S2: nothing went according to plan. And then I look back
7:09
S2: and it's like, wow, that was the stepping stone moment.
7:11
S2: That's where I met that one person. That's where I connected.
7:15
S2: That's where I, I had that idea, you know, it
7:17
S2: was through those failures. So you're exactly right. It's that
7:20
S2: reframing of what does it mean to fail and succeed?
7:24
S2: We're so quick to label things in the moment as
7:28
S2: that when we really have no idea. So let's just
7:32
S2: stop labeling it as a failure. It's really not. You know,
7:35
S2: that's not a word we can really even use in
7:37
S2: the moment.
7:38
S1: This is going to be a great hour. Paul Langone
7:41
S1: is with us. Our featured resource is 101 secrets for
7:45
S1: Your 20s. If you go to Chris fabry.org, you'll see
7:48
S1: it linked right there. 101 secrets for Your 20s. Someone
7:53
S1: you know needs this book or you need it as well.
7:56
S1: Or there might be something that Paul is talking about
7:59
S1: and you're relating it to it right now. There's more
8:02
S1: coming up straight ahead on Moody Radio. I like his energy.
8:16
S1: I like his heart. I like his writing. He's a
8:19
S1: funny guy, but he's a deep guy. His name is
8:21
S1: Paul Angani, a NGONE. I think your middle name is Anthony.
8:27
S1: So Tony, Anthony.
8:28
S2: Tony and Tony. Yes. I'd have to wear a lot
8:31
S2: more gold chains, show my chest hair a little bit more, uh,
8:34
S2: because that's very Italian. So I've stuck with Paul.
8:36
S1: You got it. Okay. 101 secrets for Your 20s is
8:40
S1: our featured resource. I hope there's a 20 year old
8:43
S1: in your life who you identify with. As we go
8:47
S1: through this, you're going to think, oh, that's my son.
8:50
S1: That's my daughter, that's my grandson. Granddaughter because of that
8:55
S1: needs to read this book because there's something that's going
8:58
S1: on now that didn't go on when I was in
9:01
S1: my 20s. And here's what happened. I got married when
9:04
S1: I was 21, Paul. We had our first child when
9:08
S1: I was 23.
9:10
S2: Yeah.
9:10
S1: So some of the things that you're mentioning in the
9:13
S1: 20 year olds, I kind of went through when I
9:16
S1: was 18 or 19, but then I got on this
9:18
S1: treadmill and I started thinking, you know, how how are
9:22
S1: we going to pay for all this? And we had
9:23
S1: eight more children after that, you know? So it's like
9:25
S1: this constant fear and I've got to provide and you
9:30
S1: got to grow up kind of fast. You got to
9:31
S1: mature fast. Yeah. And there are some 20 year olds
9:36
S1: today who are graduating, going out into the workplace and
9:41
S1: AI is out there. Talk about that struggle that they're
9:45
S1: going through today.
9:45
S2: Yeah, it's it's, it's really difficult. And it's created a
9:48
S2: theory that I studied a lot in school when I
9:50
S2: was writing about this called Emerging Adulthood, which maybe you've
9:53
S2: heard of this before, but it's basically the study of
9:55
S2: what you were just talking about delayed adulthood, that we're
9:58
S2: not going from adolescent to an adult at 21, 22
10:01
S2: like we used to in the past, you know, where
10:04
S2: all these markers are being pushed back of getting married,
10:07
S2: having kids, buying a house, all these things are being
10:10
S2: pushed back to late 20s, early 30s, mid 30s. There's
10:14
S2: no set marker anymore. And so what's that? What that's
10:18
S2: doing is it's just it's pushing back all those senses
10:22
S2: of putting down my roots. And there's not the same
10:26
S2: amount of, okay, this is my home, this is my place.
10:30
S2: And when you have things like a economic collapse, you know,
10:34
S2: I graduated in the Great Recession, which for us old timers,
10:38
S2: you know, that was a time when, when hiring freeze
10:41
S2: was the word was the phrase of the day. Nobody
10:43
S2: was hiring. And so it was really tough to get
10:46
S2: a job at all. And now I think the economic climate,
10:49
S2: it always looks scary, especially for new grads. And when
10:52
S2: you throw in AI, which it feels to me is
10:55
S2: just trying to come for all entry level jobs and
10:58
S2: it's just limiting the amount of opportunities for younger 20 somethings.
11:02
S2: So that fear and anxiety and where am I going
11:05
S2: to fit in with my degree and my hopes and
11:07
S2: dreams is becoming more and more difficult, I think today
11:11
S2: more than ever, which is why we keep pushing further back.
11:14
S2: Because yeah, how can I get married? Or how can I?
11:17
S2: I definitely can't buy a house. There's no way that's
11:20
S2: going to happen. So I really can't put down roots.
11:22
S2: I don't have a place to call home anymore.
11:26
S1: And I look at that. I look at Mike. I
11:28
S1: have three still in their 20s. I look at that
11:32
S1: house thing, you know, and I think when, when we
11:36
S1: bought the house that we now live in, it's like
11:39
S1: doubled in price from when we bought it just a
11:42
S1: few years ago. It's like, how do you starting out?
11:46
S1: How do you do that? And if you invest in
11:50
S1: an apartment, it's pretty much the same amount that you're
11:52
S1: paying there as you are a mortgage.
11:54
S2: Yeah. Oh, exactly. Yeah. It's it's almost unsustainable. You know,
11:58
S2: and then you throw that on top of, however, however
12:00
S2: many thousands of college loans you had. Yes. It is
12:03
S2: a different economic reality. You know, and I think it
12:06
S2: is more confusing, more convoluted. You know, people aren't throwing
12:10
S2: open the doors to your bachelor's degree like they would
12:13
S2: have 40 or 50 years ago. And so there are
12:16
S2: unique challenges facing this generation. And so that's where the,
12:20
S2: the anxiety, the depression, wrestling with my faith, moving back
12:25
S2: in with my parents. Hey, mom, dad, I gotta move
12:27
S2: back in.
12:29
S1: Okay, let's talk about that. So that and that's a
12:32
S1: very humbling thing. But when you come to the end,
12:35
S1: you know, and you've got all these bills and you
12:37
S1: can't pay them anymore. It's like, this is a good
12:40
S1: and I, I want to I want to push the
12:43
S1: pause button on people saying, you know, kick your kids
12:46
S1: out at a certain time and whatever. It's like, this
12:50
S1: is a, this is a nest that can be too comfortable,
12:54
S1: you know, too easy to go back to. But at
12:56
S1: the same time, this, this is something that this is
12:59
S1: what family used to be for.
13:01
S2: Yes, yes. I mean, in other cultures, multi-generational family units,
13:05
S2: that's a commonality. You know, that that is what is
13:07
S2: expected is for all generations to be living together because
13:11
S2: they all serve a purpose within the family structure. So
13:15
S2: I totally agree. It's, it's, it's definitely more of an
13:17
S2: American thing of be the lone Ranger, get out there,
13:20
S2: grab success by the, you know, the horns and, uh,
13:24
S2: your self-made man or woman. And, you know, and that's
13:27
S2: might not be the reality for a lot of us.
13:28
S2: So I agree, I think if you need to circle
13:30
S2: back and you need to live back at home, which
13:32
S2: is the reality, I mean, we have more 20 somethings
13:34
S2: living back at home than ever. I don't know what
13:37
S2: the percentages are. Last time I checked, it was like 30%
13:40
S2: of 20 somethings more than ever, and it's really an
13:44
S2: economic necessity. So can it become a launching pad? You know,
13:48
S2: you're you're not just settling for good. You're just settling
13:53
S2: for a season to hopefully find that job, to find
13:56
S2: that place, to kind of get on your feet so
13:58
S2: that you can create a launching pad for yourself. So
14:00
S2: I agree, I hope it can be kind of a
14:02
S2: trampoline stop where you're just you get to jump off that,
14:04
S2: you know, and then, but, but yeah, obviously there might
14:07
S2: need to be boundaries of, okay, you've been here for
14:10
S2: three years. You still don't have a job. You know,
14:13
S2: there should be some, some, some parameters or at least
14:16
S2: a discussion for how does this work? How does this look?
14:20
S2: How does this new relationship work between parent and child?
14:25
S2: So I think open communication is really important in those situations.
14:29
S1: It's almost when I've heard it almost like a contractual
14:32
S1: situation where you, the parent says, okay, these are the guidelines.
14:37
S1: These are the rules that I would like you to
14:39
S1: follow if you're going to be here and maybe, you know,
14:44
S1: and if it's been three years and, and they're still
14:46
S1: looking for a job, but looking means being in the
14:49
S1: basement playing video games. It's like that. That's not going
14:52
S1: to cut it here. What I'm talking about is more the,
14:56
S1: the person who is in their 20s and they really
15:00
S1: want to succeed, they want to step out and they're
15:02
S1: just having a hard time, especially with the financial thing.
15:05
S1: And the other thing I want you to talk about
15:07
S1: is then the atmosphere of the parents, the, the tone,
15:13
S1: the if you because I look at, you know, prices
15:17
S1: and I look at the housing and all of that
15:19
S1: and how much you can make entry level. And I
15:23
S1: think how how does it work? How is anybody going to.
15:26
S1: You know, and that's where I get. And it's just fear, fear, fear. Yeah.
15:30
S1: I think parents need to give their kids, like you say,
15:34
S1: a trampoline, a launching pad. It's like, you're going to
15:37
S1: do this, you're going to figure this out. Yeah. And
15:39
S1: if you have that kind of attitude as a parent,
15:42
S1: then it can lift that 20 something. Don't you.
15:45
S2: Think? Yeah, I think so. And I think even coming
15:47
S2: with that, that level of empathy, and even as you
15:50
S2: going back to when you were in your 20s and
15:52
S2: thinking back to those stories that you had of overcoming,
15:56
S2: of thinking, there's no way we're going to make it
15:58
S2: this month. But we did. You know, coming back to
16:01
S2: those stories, even where God was faithful, that you had
16:04
S2: that rock that you can go back to and remember, wow,
16:07
S2: God was faithful here. And I think it's great for
16:09
S2: you to even share those stories because they might not
16:12
S2: have they weren't around during your struggle. Maybe they maybe
16:16
S2: have just seen you in your success era as a parent.
16:19
S2: And so I think it's good to even have that,
16:21
S2: that empathetic, vulnerable tone to say, hey, look, there was
16:24
S2: a couple of years, you know, mom and Dad, we
16:26
S2: didn't we didn't think we were going to make it either.
16:29
S2: So I can relate to that feeling. But gosh, God
16:31
S2: was faithful. He was growing something. Uh, but I had
16:34
S2: to keep putting myself out there. And I think that
16:37
S2: was a great mention from before. You know, I talk
16:39
S2: about this in the book. You know, the the possibility
16:42
S2: for greatness and embarrassment both exist in the same space.
16:46
S2: And as a generation, we're really afraid to embarrass ourselves.
16:49
S2: We're afraid to look foolish. And we don't want to
16:52
S2: be awkward. We're removing all awkward spaces in our life
16:56
S2: with our phone, with distraction. And when we remove all awkward,
17:01
S2: we remove all chances for unexpected amazing to happen in
17:05
S2: these awkward spaces where you're not sure what's going to happen,
17:09
S2: but you allow God to enter that space and connect
17:11
S2: you to the right person. And so it is kind
17:14
S2: of a nudging. It's an empathetic nudging to say, hey,
17:17
S2: I've been there too. But hey, you have to be
17:19
S2: willing to embarrass yourself. And don't worry how it looks
17:22
S2: on social media. All that's fake and contrived. None of
17:26
S2: that's real. They're living back at home, too, but they're
17:28
S2: just making it look like they live on a beach.
17:31
S2: You know, they've dug a sand pit out in the backyard,
17:33
S2: and they put some lawn chairs out there, and they've
17:35
S2: created their beach photos, but really, they're in new Jersey
17:38
S2: and they've just made it look like a beach, so
17:40
S2: it's not real.
17:42
S1: That's coming from Angola.
17:44
S2: Angola. And hey, y'all.
17:45
S1: His name is Paul. Paul Langone. 101 secrets for Your 20s.
17:51
S1: And this is going to be a life giving book
17:53
S1: to somebody in their 20s who's maybe you're listening right now,
17:57
S1: or you're the parent or the grandparent. And this will
18:00
S1: speak life into their life. I think what you just mentioned,
18:05
S1: that desire for ease, that desire for comfort, all of
18:10
S1: that speaks to me because I'm 40 years from my
18:13
S1: 20s and that thing just grabs me. It's like success
18:18
S1: is ease. Success is comfort. Success is an easier road
18:23
S1: than I've had. And a lot of times today, as
18:27
S1: well as 40 years ago, the easy road didn't lead
18:31
S1: to the best life. The easy road led to easy.
18:36
S1: It made me feel more comfortable. But it didn't. Didn't
18:39
S1: push me. Didn't help me grow and mature. Do you agree?
18:42
S2: Oh, I totally agree. And I talk about that a
18:44
S2: lot in the book, that the best thing that can
18:46
S2: happen to you almost in your 20s is that you
18:48
S2: feel uncomfortable because comfort is a quicksand. And I think
18:53
S2: the worst job you can have in your 20s is
18:54
S2: a comfortable one that doesn't require much of you at all. Because.
18:59
S2: Because growth and growing in your skill set, growing in
19:02
S2: your character, growing in what it means to work hard, persevere.
19:07
S2: These things are so valuable. These are the these are
19:10
S2: the traits. These are the things you should be investing in.
19:13
S2: And it is really hard to grow if you're just
19:16
S2: sitting by the pool, you know, all day just soaking
19:19
S2: up the sun, you're not going to grow much there.
19:21
S2: You might get sunburned, but you're not going to grow.
19:24
S2: It's those times of of struggle and strain. You know,
19:26
S2: that's how you grow your muscles. That's how you train literally.
19:30
S2: And so I remember, and I might have mentioned this before,
19:33
S2: but I, God gave me an image once I was driving,
19:36
S2: and I had this clear image when I was crying
19:38
S2: out to God and I was asking God to, you know,
19:41
S2: show up and put me someplace where I can be used.
19:44
S2: I had this image of me sitting in a wheelbarrow
19:47
S2: and praying to God and asking God to push me somewhere.
19:51
S2: And then when we arrived, he could dump me out
19:54
S2: and I would stand up, and I'd be faithful and
19:56
S2: do what he required of me. And then I'd get
19:57
S2: back in the wheelbarrow and be like, okay, God, push
20:00
S2: us to the next spot. And God, I felt like
20:02
S2: God was saying, you know, I'm not your sled dog.
20:04
S2: You know, I'm not here to just take you around.
20:07
S2: And I wouldn't be a good father if I didn't
20:10
S2: require you to use your own legs. And, um, and
20:13
S2: I think that's a good reminder for all of us
20:15
S2: in those times of struggle, that it's for our benefit.
20:18
S2: It's not for our detriment. Yes.
20:21
S1: Oh, I like that. We had, uh, the shoemakers on
20:24
S1: recently who were talking to father and son, and the
20:28
S1: dad had seen this Ford F-150 down in a ravine Someplace. Uh, actually,
20:35
S1: he's in Chicago, so it was just off the interstate,
20:37
S1: and it was this young guy, probably 17, 18 years old,
20:41
S1: who had been driving this F-150, the people to the airport.
20:46
S1: And he got off the road and he couldn't get
20:49
S1: back up. And the tow truck was going to be
20:50
S1: a lot of money. ET cetera. ET cetera. And and
20:53
S1: the dad said, I went down there and he rolled
20:55
S1: down the window and he said, if you want, I'll
20:57
S1: walk this through, walk you through this. You can do this.
21:01
S1: But the problem was he had to get even further
21:04
S1: down in the ravine so that he could orient himself
21:09
S1: to make it back up the hill. And it was
21:12
S1: that mentoring that coming alongside. I think you're going to this.
21:17
S1: It hits a nerve for me. It's like you've got
21:20
S1: to be humble enough to say, I can't do this
21:22
S1: on my own and, and find somebody or somebody find you, uh,
21:28
S1: who will find you in the wheelbarrow or in the
21:30
S1: F-150 and then guide you, help you along the way.
21:34
S1: Not that you're not going to slip and slide anymore,
21:37
S1: and not that it's not going to feel, you know, discomfort,
21:40
S1: but help you get to the top. And he said,
21:43
S1: I think it was Tim that told this story. Tim
21:45
S1: said that when he made it up, you know, he
21:48
S1: made it back on to the side of the road.
21:50
S1: He jumped out of the truck and he was like,
21:53
S1: thank you.
21:54
S2: Thank.
21:54
S1: You. That wouldn't have happened if Tim had gotten in
21:57
S1: the truck and done it himself.
21:58
S2: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I, I talk a lot about
22:01
S2: how it feels like you're lost in your 20s. It
22:04
S2: feels like you have you don't know where to go.
22:06
S2: And I, and I always say, well, that's great because
22:08
S2: that's the first step to exploring. You know, all explorers
22:10
S2: have to get lost. That's, that's, that's like, that's the,
22:13
S2: the job description. But, but explorers get lost on purpose
22:17
S2: with purpose for a purpose. So it's purposeful lostness. They're
22:21
S2: not just wandering, they're lost. They don't really know how
22:24
S2: they're going to get there. But but but they always
22:27
S2: have maps and a guide with them. They have a
22:32
S2: traveling party. So to go back to what you're saying
22:35
S2: is that it's so important, especially if you're feeling lost,
22:38
S2: that you find guides and you find maps, people that
22:42
S2: have been there before that can say, hey, look, watch
22:45
S2: out for around this turn or don't eat this. You know,
22:47
S2: all the different things. Because if you're out by yourself,
22:51
S2: and I write about this in the book as well,
22:52
S2: I write about Into the Wild, which was a book,
22:55
S2: a true story, and then a movie about Alexander Supertramp.
22:59
S2: And I won't go into that whole story, but basically
23:01
S2: he went on a great Alaskan adventure all by himself
23:04
S2: on this journey for truth. And he was exploring all
23:07
S2: by himself. And the ending didn't end up well because
23:10
S2: he was all alone. He had nobody there to help
23:13
S2: him when things went wrong. And I think that's so
23:15
S2: important for a 20 something to be humble enough to say,
23:18
S2: like you just said, I need help. And then also
23:21
S2: for a boomer, a Gen Xer to come alongside somebody,
23:25
S2: even if it looks like they have a lot of
23:27
S2: ego and pride, it's probably masquerading a lot of insecurity,
23:30
S2: even to come alongside and put your arm around them
23:32
S2: and say, hey, let's go out for coffee. Let's talk.
23:35
S2: I want to share some of my story with you
23:38
S2: and let's, let's figure this out together.
23:40
S1: That's exactly what this book is, though. Paul, this is
23:42
S1: you coming alongside 101 secrets for Your 20s. As a
23:46
S1: matter of fact, it first came out ten years ago.
23:49
S1: You have kind of revamped this and you've said, this
23:52
S1: is kind of like, uh, having coffee with an old
23:54
S1: friend and going back to it. Right?
23:56
S2: Yeah, exactly. It came out ten years ago. It's been
23:59
S2: amazing to see how far and wide it's traveled. You know,
24:02
S2: just the faithfulness of the Lord that he sparked this message.
24:05
S2: And it's gotten to so many different hands that I
24:07
S2: never dreamed of. But I wanted it to reach a
24:09
S2: new generation of 20 somethings, because I feel like it's
24:12
S2: even harder and more intense now. But really, that's the
24:15
S2: whole point of the book. It's to be that guide,
24:18
S2: that framework. It's that voice of reasoning and that voice
24:21
S2: of encouragement and hope that says, hey, this, this is
24:24
S2: hard for all of us, you know? And you're not alone.
24:27
S2: And there is hope. So let's talk about that. You know,
24:31
S2: let's let's talk together about this. Uh, and just knowing
24:34
S2: that you're not alone is such a, such a freeing
24:36
S2: thing to hear.
24:37
S1: Are there things that parents or grandparents, you know, a
24:41
S1: lot of grandparents are involved in their kids lives in
24:44
S1: their 20s. Are there things that parents are doing that
24:47
S1: are a detriment to the 20 year olds, or that
24:51
S1: can really help the 20 year old? I want you
24:53
S1: to hang on. Don't answer that question. Yeah. It's a setup.
24:56
S1: That's what they call a tease in the business. Uh,
24:58
S1: because I want you to talk about that because I
25:01
S1: think there are a lot of parents and grandparents who
25:02
S1: are listening, who are identifying with exactly because they see
25:05
S1: this in their 20 something, you know, son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter,
25:10
S1: and they don't know what to help. And they think, oh,
25:13
S1: I wonder if that was helpful or not. So you
25:16
S1: hang on. Paul and Tony is with us today at
25:19
S1: the Radio Backyard fence. If you go to Chris Fabry live.org,
25:23
S1: you'll see our featured resource 101 secrets for Your 20s,
25:28
S1: just go to Chris fabriclive dot ORG. Hey, and we
25:32
S1: could use your support here at the Radio Backyard Fence.
25:35
S1: If you'd like to give a gift of any size
25:38
S1: each month, you can become a back fence partner. Just
25:41
S1: go to Chris fabriclive.org. You'll see how to do that.
25:44
S1: Keep these conversations going. Or you can call 866958669532279. More
25:53
S1: straight ahead on Moody Radio. I am so excited to
26:07
S1: have Paul and Tony with us today. He's in the
26:09
S1: studio in Chicago. I'm in Tucson. We can see each
26:12
S1: other on the, uh, on the camera. So it's just like,
26:17
S1: I feel like there's somebody listening today who is in
26:21
S1: their 20s, and you're getting a little closer to the
26:23
S1: radio because this is your life and you're struggling and
26:27
S1: you feel like you're all alone, or you're doing the
26:30
S1: comparison thing that Paul talked about a minute ago. I
26:32
S1: want to talk more about that and social media and
26:34
S1: what that does to us. The book is 101 secrets
26:39
S1: for Your 20s. We have it linked right there. Chris Fabry,
26:43
S1: live dot ORG. But Paul talked to the parent or
26:47
S1: grandparent who says, I really want to be a help here.
26:51
S1: And I don't know if what I'm doing is helping
26:53
S1: or not. What do you say?
26:54
S2: Well, it's been a fun privilege of mine to see
26:57
S2: so many reviews of my books come from parents and grandparents,
27:01
S2: which I didn't realize was going to happen. You know,
27:02
S2: they buy as a gift and then they read it.
27:04
S2: And it's been an honor to hear their perspective and
27:07
S2: to even hear them say, I needed this advice or
27:10
S2: I wish I knew this back when. And so it's
27:13
S2: been a helpful reminder for me how crucial a role
27:16
S2: the parents and grandparents play. And even in my world,
27:20
S2: I've had many stories. And this goes to your question of.
27:24
S2: Sometimes it's a timing thing when you're helping and you
27:28
S2: actually might be helping greatly. It just might not be
27:31
S2: received in this exact moment. And I've had that happen
27:35
S2: even with with stories of how 20 somethings have gotten
27:37
S2: my books. They'll, they'll write me and say, my, my
27:40
S2: dad or my grandparent gave me this book three years
27:44
S2: ago and I put it on my table and I've
27:46
S2: used it as a coaster for three years. I never
27:48
S2: once picked it up because I'm like, what is this book?
27:51
S2: 101 Secrets Your 20s. I don't need any of this.
27:53
S2: And then one day I hit rock bottom or I
27:55
S2: just looked at the book. I picked it up and
27:57
S2: it's changing my life. And so I think that's a
27:59
S2: good reminder for all of us as a teacher, as
28:01
S2: a parent, it might be your help might not be
28:05
S2: received right at the moment, but you never know how
28:08
S2: radical you are helping as you consistently show up. And
28:12
S2: that's the advice I give. Just be consistent in showing
28:15
S2: up and being there, and be willing again to share
28:19
S2: your own struggles, your weaknesses, things that you've gone through
28:21
S2: so you can, so you can also then share how
28:24
S2: God has been faithful and how God has used that.
28:27
S2: You know how God has transformed that. I think you
28:30
S2: being open and honest with your whole story is so important.
28:35
S2: And I even tell that to CEOs and leaders. I say,
28:38
S2: you know, you got to be okay with talking about
28:39
S2: your weaknesses, saying sorry, talking about where you've struggled because
28:44
S2: the now allow a 20 something to enter in and
28:47
S2: start really trusting you and trusting your voice and the
28:51
S2: advice that you then want to give because they know, hey,
28:54
S2: this person really cares about me more than just as
28:58
S2: a employee or just as one of their kids. They
29:01
S2: really care about me and they want to see me succeed.
29:05
S2: And I think that's a consistent message for you to
29:07
S2: just keep demonstrating that, you know, I hear you. I
29:10
S2: really want to see you succeed. I want to see
29:12
S2: you thrive. I love you. You know I'll always love you.
29:15
S2: And so let's talk about this. And if you create
29:18
S2: that atmosphere, I think your 20 something child or even
29:22
S2: your 20 something employee or or someone in your church.
29:25
S2: They'll just keep coming to you because they know that
29:29
S2: they can trust you and that you really love them
29:32
S2: and care for them.
29:32
S1: Why is that vulnerability so attractive and so redemptive?
29:38
S2: Yeah, you know, I think it just allows them to,
29:41
S2: first of all, again, know they're not alone. And it
29:44
S2: allows them to trust you because you're willing to share
29:47
S2: some of your rougher sides of your story so that
29:50
S2: it's not all this fabricated. I was perfect, I didn't
29:55
S2: mess up. Life has always been good. Yeah.
29:58
S1: This is my curated life that I'm showing you.
30:01
S2: Here because they're seeing so much of that online. Yeah.
30:04
S2: So they want something real and honest and authentic. And
30:08
S2: I think authenticity really is just someone being honest about their,
30:13
S2: their weaknesses and their strengths, their triumphs and their tragedies,
30:17
S2: all facets of their life. You know, it's both sides
30:19
S2: of the Psalms, right? When you read the Psalms, it's
30:22
S2: that up and down struggle of what faith can look
30:25
S2: like at times. So you being receptive to that conversation
30:29
S2: and ushering that conversation in. So it's a safe space
30:32
S2: for that wrestling to happen instead of, you know, a
30:36
S2: 20 something coming to you with a struggle or a
30:38
S2: question or a doubt and you getting angry or frustrated
30:42
S2: or being like, just figure it out. Like, gosh, what's
30:44
S2: your issue? What's your problem? Like, go, I did this
30:48
S2: at 25. You can do this at 25, you know,
30:50
S2: and that and that will shut down the conversation from happening.
30:53
S1: Because that's shame. That's a shame and guilt. You know,
30:55
S1: I figured this out way back when, when, when the
30:58
S1: culture was different, when finances were different and all of that. Yeah.
31:03
S1: So this is the one thing that I feel like
31:06
S1: is really helpful is the 20 something looking for advice
31:11
S1: from parents or grandparents or older friends, mentors? Do they
31:15
S1: want advice or do they simply want Somebody who says,
31:21
S1: I'm here for you and I believe in you.
31:23
S2: Yeah, I think they want that first, you know? And
31:27
S2: I think there's a desperate cry in all of our hearts,
31:29
S2: but especially for 20 somethings. There's such a lonely, isolated generation. Um,
31:34
S2: you know, and studies are showing that that this age
31:36
S2: group feels so isolated, which is a strange dynamic when
31:40
S2: they're globally connected, but there's such a deep yearning in
31:43
S2: their heart to, to know and to be known and
31:48
S2: to know and to be known. And if you can
31:51
S2: sit down with a 20 something and make them feel
31:53
S2: like they know you and you know them well, man,
31:58
S2: that breathed, that breathed so much life into all these
32:00
S2: dark and dusty corners and closets that they've been hiding.
32:04
S2: And it brings so much freedom because they're, they can
32:07
S2: also find forgiveness. Forgiveness of, of things that they've done.
32:11
S2: Forgiveness even maybe of things they need to forgive their
32:15
S2: parents for. You know, and because parents aren't perfect, we
32:19
S2: all make mistakes. And so that usher in ushers so
32:22
S2: much redemptive ness into this relationship. Um, which I think is,
32:28
S2: is life changing and so crucial.
32:31
S1: Is that a word is redemptive?
32:32
S2: I don't know. I just ran with it. It was
32:35
S2: coming out of my mouth and.
32:36
S1: It sounded like you knew what you were talking about.
32:38
S2: I do that a lot. You'll see a lot of
32:40
S2: made up words in my books. Uh.
32:42
S1: And it's funny, too. Your book is so funny. If
32:45
S1: you're a 20 year old, it's like you've got a
32:47
S1: really good sense of humor.
32:48
S2: Well, and that's yeah, in the book, I try, I
32:51
S2: bring a lot of humor into the whole conversation to
32:53
S2: be like, hey, let's laugh about this. And some of
32:55
S2: this is funny and like, there's a lot of relatable
32:58
S2: things that we can be like, oh, I've been there.
33:00
S2: I've been in that cubicle. I know what that's like,
33:02
S2: or I've, I've had that not so great boss or
33:05
S2: I've had that breakup. You know, I talk about, you know,
33:07
S2: every breakup has two breakups. You have your first initial
33:10
S2: breakup where things don't go well, and then you're thinking
33:13
S2: about maybe getting back together again in about a month,
33:16
S2: and then you have the real breakup. You know, I
33:18
S2: have a lot of those funny things. And, uh, and
33:21
S2: that's always kind of my goal is kind of mixed. It's,
33:23
S2: it's life. It's, it's funny. It's, it's hopeful. It's, it's true.
33:28
S2: And it's hard at times. So let's talk about it
33:30
S2: all really.
33:31
S1: Okay. So be vulnerable here. What about your own parents?
33:35
S1: Did they do anything when you because you you kind
33:37
S1: of hit rock bottom in your 20s. Yeah. Did they
33:40
S1: do anything that really helped you at that point, or
33:43
S1: did they do anything that kind of discouraged you and mom?
33:47
S1: I promise your mom and dad won't be listening.
33:49
S2: You know, I think, um, I just always knew that
33:53
S2: they were a safe space for me to go to,
33:56
S2: that they were a, you know, especially, you know, my dad,
33:59
S2: that I could always call him and we could talk
34:02
S2: about what was going on. And for me, that was
34:05
S2: always very freeing. And my dad's a former pastor too.
34:10
S2: So I grew up a pastor's kid. Um, but the
34:14
S2: and people ask me, Paul, well, why didn't you get
34:16
S2: all crazy as a pastor's kid? Why are you really.
34:18
S2: Did you did you get really messed up? You know,
34:20
S2: because there's always that joke about pastor's kids. And obviously
34:24
S2: I've had my struggles. I'm not perfect. But I think
34:27
S2: what was amazing about my dad is that he was
34:30
S2: the same person on stage as he was at home.
34:34
S2: And so again, that level of consistency, that level of humility,
34:38
S2: that level of him being a safe space, um, even
34:42
S2: if I was bringing rougher questions or even questioning what
34:45
S2: does faith look like to me? What do I actually
34:48
S2: believe in what I say? I believe, you know, and
34:52
S2: I think 20 somethings are going through that where they're,
34:54
S2: they're kind of coming to a reckoning of themselves of
34:58
S2: I've grown up saying, I believe all these things. And
35:01
S2: yet my life, I'm looking at it. It doesn't resemble
35:05
S2: what I'm saying. I believe. And I have to have
35:06
S2: a reckoning with that. And for me, that's what I
35:09
S2: was going through, is I feel like I'm being hypocritical.
35:12
S2: I feel like I'm living a hypocritical life and I
35:15
S2: need to do something about that. And so my parents
35:19
S2: were always a safe space where I knew I could
35:21
S2: call them and talk about that. Um, and so that was,
35:25
S2: that was extremely helpful during this process.
35:28
S1: I, I often think that the problem we had a
35:31
S1: guest on not long ago who talked about singleness as
35:34
S1: not something to be fixed. You don't have to fix your,
35:38
S1: you're not going to fix your singleness by getting married anyway. Uh,
35:42
S1: and you talk about that in your book, but to
35:44
S1: look at it 20 something who is struggling in whatever area,
35:48
S1: it's not someone that they need to help fix so
35:51
S1: that they get to a certain point in their life.
35:54
S1: It's a it's a journey together. Yes.
35:57
S2: Yeah. And I often talk about, you know, I have
35:58
S2: this secret in the book and I talk about, you know,
36:00
S2: that success in your 20s is, is, is less about
36:04
S2: enjoying the feast. It's more about setting the table. So
36:07
S2: even if it doesn't look quite right and you're not
36:08
S2: getting all the success and you're looking at even your child,
36:11
S2: and it doesn't, they're not getting a lot of money
36:13
S2: or they're not getting a lot of forward progress. Well,
36:16
S2: that doesn't mean that the season is not extremely purposeful
36:20
S2: and important, and growing them so that their character is
36:23
S2: ready for their calling and they need to go through
36:26
S2: this season. You know, I often say that transitions, those
36:30
S2: transition periods of our life is not something to be
36:33
S2: rushed through to get to the next important season of
36:36
S2: our life. Transitions are the most important seasons of our life.
36:40
S2: Because when you are lost and alone and it's dark,
36:44
S2: all your senses come alive and. And you rely really
36:48
S2: on the Lord. I feel like more in those seasons
36:50
S2: than ever. And sometimes you can hear his voice clearer, uh,
36:54
S2: in those times of the desert and wandering and struggle. Um,
36:59
S2: so parents don't have to worry about, hey, we got
37:02
S2: to rush through this. We got to get through this.
37:04
S2: We got to get through the next season of success.
37:06
S2: It's like, no, we got to sit and marinate in
37:08
S2: this a little bit because maybe God is trying to
37:11
S2: teach and instill something that is going to be so
37:14
S2: crucial for the rest of their lives. So let's not
37:17
S2: rush it.
37:18
S1: Right here, right now. If you're at 20 in your 20s,
37:21
S1: right here, right now, this struggle that you're having might
37:24
S1: be the launching point or might be the change agent
37:27
S1: in your life, might be the transition that takes you
37:30
S1: from where I see that's where, where you want to be,
37:35
S1: from where you are to where you want to be.
37:37
S1: I often think that it's not where I want to be,
37:40
S1: that I need to get to. It's where God wants
37:42
S1: to be in me and change me. And that comes
37:47
S1: through so clearly in this book. Paul Langone is with us.
37:50
S1: 101 secrets for Your 20s is our featured resource. Go
37:53
S1: to the website. Chris fabry.org. Chris Fabry live dot ORG.
37:59
S1: We have it linked right there. 101 secrets for Your 20s.
38:03
S1: And in our last segment, we're going to talk about
38:05
S1: the specific secrets. I want to get down to the
38:09
S1: nitty gritty. will do that straight ahead on Moody Radio.
38:21
S1: Our remaining moments with Paul and Tony today at the
38:24
S1: Radio Backyard Fence 101 secrets for Your 20s is our
38:30
S1: featured resource at Chris Fabry live.org. All right, here we go.
38:34
S1: Lightning round secret 74. The secret to finding the right
38:38
S1: person to marry is to stop looking. Tell me more
38:42
S1: about that.
38:42
S2: Yeah, I often say that instead of focusing so much
38:46
S2: on on this elaborate search for the one, the right person,
38:49
S2: this unicorn, the gold at the end of the rainbow,
38:52
S2: start focusing on being the right one for the person
38:55
S2: you're going to marry. You know, start working on ditching
38:59
S2: all those bags before you bring them into your marriage,
39:01
S2: because too many of us have a huge suitcase, and
39:06
S2: then about ten others that we're trying to fit into
39:08
S2: this small apartment of all our baggage. So start ditching
39:11
S2: those now. Start working on becoming the right person. And
39:14
S2: then when you're doing that and you're becoming more healthy
39:17
S2: and your relationship with the Lord is thriving, you know,
39:20
S2: you're just you. You start attracting people like yourself. You know,
39:24
S2: all of a sudden you're out, you're in a club
39:25
S2: or you're at the church or different things. And you
39:28
S2: start attracting with people that you're resonating with each other,
39:31
S2: because now you're both coming from a place of health
39:34
S2: or striving for health, striving for growth, um, instead of
39:39
S2: just this kind of insecure place where you're just kind
39:41
S2: of desperate and trying to search for the one, and
39:43
S2: then you kind of get around other desperate, insecure people.
39:45
S2: And I know that was me. It was like, why
39:47
S2: are the girls I'm dating so insecure? And it's like, well,
39:50
S2: it's because I'm so insecure, you know, why do they
39:52
S2: not have a clue what they want to do with
39:54
S2: their lives? Because I don't have a clue. And, and
39:55
S2: obviously there's going to be that within marriage, you don't
39:58
S2: have life figured out when you get married. You know,
40:01
S2: everybody realizes when they step up and they get married,
40:03
S2: that's like, I don't have a clue what this means.
40:05
S2: And it's the next learning process, but I think it's
40:08
S2: important for us to start working on becoming the right person,
40:10
S2: just becoming more healthy and whole and stuff, instead of
40:13
S2: feeling like I gotta find the one because that person's
40:16
S2: going to fix me. Um, because marriage doesn't solve any
40:19
S2: of that.
40:20
S1: Well, but but marriage is supposed to complete you, and
40:22
S1: it's supposed to be happily ever after. And then we
40:24
S1: get back to the curated thing. Usually what happens is
40:28
S1: the rough edges get knocked off, you know, in a
40:31
S1: good marriage. But that's hard. That's a struggle.
40:34
S2: Marriage helps you work on your incompleteness. You know it.
40:39
S2: You know, it comes with friction is, you know, about,
40:42
S2: you know, those things, those two rocks rubbing together over time.
40:47
S2: And that will create more of a smooth rock. You know.
40:50
S1: Nobody likes a pumice stone, though, you.
40:52
S2: Know, and and it can be painful, you know, but
40:55
S2: you are, you're refining each other because you're in this
40:59
S2: relationship together. And God wants to use that relationship in
41:02
S2: your calling and in your future and for your kids.
41:05
S2: And so again, it might not be comfortable at times.
41:08
S2: And that's again, okay because God needs to challenge all
41:11
S2: of us. And sometimes that's through your spouse. Your spouse
41:13
S2: can challenge you in some amazing ways. It might not
41:16
S2: feel amazing at the time, but you look back and
41:18
S2: you're like, wow, I've grown a lot. So that's a
41:20
S2: good thing.
41:21
S1: Secret seven dates are supposed to be awkward.
41:26
S2: Again, it goes back to that awkwardness thing. I just
41:28
S2: think we we so desperately don't want to be awkward,
41:31
S2: and so we don't even want to put ourselves in
41:33
S2: situations where we could possibly be awkward. And in your 20s,
41:37
S2: you know, sometimes you just maybe go on a date,
41:39
S2: you know, and it doesn't it's going to be awkward,
41:42
S2: you know, and, and that's great. First dates are usually
41:44
S2: awkward and it becomes an amazing first date story that
41:48
S2: you can tell later. You know, even if the relationship
41:50
S2: doesn't work out, at least you have some great stories
41:53
S2: that you can tell that others can relate to because
41:55
S2: we've all been there. Um, but if you hide yourself
41:57
S2: away and you're not even willing to have that awkwardness
42:00
S2: or that embarrassment take place, well, then you're kind of
42:03
S2: shutting yourself off. You know, so it's it's okay. You know,
42:06
S2: a first date doesn't mean you're getting married. You're just
42:08
S2: getting to know somebody and they're getting to know you. And, uh,
42:11
S2: and that's great. And maybe there'll be a second date.
42:13
S2: Maybe not. And that's fine.
42:15
S1: Secret 12 lousy jobs are the 20 something rite of passage.
42:20
S2: Yeah. We don't go into the woods anymore. Right. With
42:22
S2: a spear ready to kill that bear is our rite
42:25
S2: of passage. Now, we go into the sea of cubicles
42:27
S2: to tackle that spreadsheet and get some coffee. Um, yeah,
42:32
S2: there's a lot of lousy jobs, and. And that's, again, normal.
42:36
S2: Very rarely as a 20 something. Are you going to
42:38
S2: step right into your dream job? That just doesn't happen.
42:42
S2: And so don't worry again so much about trying to
42:45
S2: find the right job. Worry about bringing the right you
42:49
S2: to the job you're working. Because if you do a
42:53
S2: lousy job at your lousy job, guess what awaits you next? Um,
42:59
S2: another lousy job. And so you have to learn how to.
43:03
S2: It all matters. You know, I think that's a lie.
43:05
S2: Some of us believe. Well, this doesn't really matter, because
43:08
S2: this isn't my calling. This is. This job's not important.
43:12
S2: You know, it doesn't matter. But it definitely it all matters. Because, again,
43:16
S2: you never know who's that one person you needed to
43:18
S2: meet that's going to usher you into that next space.
43:21
S2: And if they feel like, well, gosh, I can't promote
43:24
S2: this person, I can't introduce this person. I've been watching
43:26
S2: them work. And honestly, it's been pretty bad. Um, well then, gosh,
43:30
S2: you're never going to progress out of the, the lousy
43:33
S2: job carousel that you might be stuck on.
43:36
S1: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart.
43:38
S1: I think somebody said yeah, somewhere. Yes. Um, you know,
43:41
S1: and that speaks into my life because I started my
43:44
S1: very first well, my first job was at this plant
43:48
S1: someplace in a, I don't want to go into it
43:51
S1: because it was kind of a lousy job because I
43:53
S1: just didn't like doing it. Yeah. But the, the first
43:56
S1: real part time job I had was at a radio
43:59
S1: station and I got in there and it was a
44:03
S1: country music station, a little daylight to dark country music station.
44:07
S1: I didn't like the music and I didn't, you know,
44:09
S1: didn't connect with all of the people that were there.
44:13
S1: It was fun, you know? But I started to realize
44:17
S1: that there's something more going on here. And I didn't
44:20
S1: know what it was the station manager that I had said, Faber,
44:23
S1: if you get into this thing, it'll be in your
44:25
S1: blood the rest of your life. And I thought, I
44:27
S1: didn't want to do radio. That's not what I wanted
44:29
S1: to do. But I look back on that, you know,
44:32
S1: in my my teen years and then into my 20s
44:35
S1: doing that, I still use some of the things that
44:40
S1: I learned and some of the mistakes that I made
44:42
S1: back there. I still use that knowledge today.
44:47
S2: Mhm. Yeah. It's it's training. It's, it's, it's the new
44:50
S2: round of school and we all have to go through it.
44:53
S2: And it is amazing. All the things that you'll take
44:55
S2: from those jobs, those situations and those relationships that you'll
44:59
S2: look back on 20, 30, 40 years from now and
45:01
S2: be like, that was so meaningful. It felt messy, it
45:04
S2: felt mundane, but it was so meaningful. Now that I
45:07
S2: look back.
45:08
S1: Real quickly before we end, um, 20 year olds who
45:12
S1: are walking away from their faith, what do you say
45:15
S1: to them or to their parents?
45:18
S2: I think this book, first of all, is super helpful
45:20
S2: in that because I'm, I weave in my faith and
45:22
S2: hopefully an authentic way. And I just keep pointing back to,
45:26
S2: you know what? I'm a broken person. And the only
45:28
S2: way I could get through this was through my relationship
45:30
S2: with Christ. And sure, it was rocky and I wasn't
45:33
S2: always the most faithful servant I could have been, but
45:35
S2: he was always there for me. And so you can
45:37
S2: always turn to him with your struggles, your doubts, your fears,
45:40
S2: and just sit in that space. And it might be, again, uncomfortable,
45:43
S2: but there's a lot of redemption there. And you can
45:46
S2: go to him with anything.
45:48
S1: And it might if you're in that, if you're in
45:49
S1: your 20s and you're in that valley, this might be
45:52
S1: the kind of book that will help turn you around
45:55
S1: and see what really is in your life and a
45:59
S1: new transition, new trajectory. 101 secrets for Your 20s. And
46:04
S1: if you're a parent or grandparent, remember that this this
46:07
S1: dip in the life of your 20 year old that
46:09
S1: you love so much, you can be there to help them.
46:13
S1: And Paul, you've done that with us here today. Thank
46:16
S1: you for sharing your heart, for sharing it on the
46:19
S1: page and come back and see us real soon.
46:22
S2: Thank you for having me again, Chris. Thank you.
46:24
S1: His name is Paul Angeloni, A NGONE 101. Secrets for
46:30
S1: Your 20s is our featured resource at Chris dot ORG. Hey,
46:36
S1: you can find out more about Paul, his website, some
46:39
S1: of the things that he's written before, some of the
46:41
S1: things he's doing. You can support us right there. Hope
46:44
S1: you'll do that and come back next time for another
46:47
S1: conversation at the Radio Backyard fence. And always remember, Chris
46:50
S1: Fabry Live is a production of Moody Radio, a Ministry
46:54
S1: of Moody Bible Institute.