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#1560 Hinge Moments - Dr. Rob Bell · The You Project

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: God to him. Welcome to another installing the you projectors harps.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Who else wouldn't be Tiffany and Cook. I don't know
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: where she is. I think she's in the hammock. I
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: think she's in the corporate hammock. She could be by
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: the pool, she could be in the jacuzzi. Who knows where.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: But she'll be editing this later, but joining me. Who
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: has actually showed up, which is nice, unlike tiff as
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: doctor Rob Bell. Good ay, doc, how are you?
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Oh that's great man, appreciate you having me on. But
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: we'll look forward to it.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. I've been excited. I read about you
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: and I went it's like a brother from another mother.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: It's like you're just where kindred spirits, I think. Can
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: you so for my audience who don't know you, can
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: you just give us a little bit of a snapshot
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: of the the Rob Bell story.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: Wow, snapshot of the story?
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Take as long as you want, long as you want.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Started in the seventies.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: In the back of a car.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Sports psychology coach man so I I work with athletes,
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: coaches and teams on mental toughness and YEP. Written seven books,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: eight books on mental toughness. One of them is an
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: e book, but you wrote seven You're smarter than I am, Man.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: So definitely not, definitely not.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: I love alterna durance sports man, I love iron Man's
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: and one hundred milers. Family, which is probably the most
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: important part. Man and Mary. We've got two kids of
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: daughters fifteen and son is thirteen, and Man, I just
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: love doing what I do, and that's just helping athletes
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: get to where they want to go. Point. I love
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: about sports so much, mate, It's just there's no ambiguity
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: when it comes to sports, and that's the part that
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: I love the most. Right. It's like in life there's
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: a lot of ambiguity. Who knows if that raise helps
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: or who know if that's a good job. But like
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: with sports, you just know you make the shot or
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: you miss the shot, right, you swim the time or
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: you don't swim the time. That's it always drew me
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: to sports, and I've always just been passionate about helping
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: people on when you know, when they're naked in front
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: of the gods out there.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when did you when you were growing up, were
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: you an athlete? Were you into sports?
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: I was, man, Yeah, soccer and uh and baseball, Yeah,
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: those are my favorites. Man, That's what I so I
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: exceled at and then and then got into partying.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Uh.
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  Speaker 2: You know when I was a teenage professional professional pathage
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Oh man, if it was a class, I was an
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: A plus student on that. Any extra credit I'm in.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: But it led to the downfall. Man. That's when I
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: got to college and just had a couple of hinge
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: moments that took place, and then I got into the
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: psychology field.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: I see you use that term hinge moment. I haven't
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: really heard it, and I've read a bit of your stuff.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: What's is that? Is that a light bulb moment, an epiphany,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: an aha moment? Or is that something different?
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Well, when you hear about doors opening and closing in life,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: that's because of the hinge. Yeah. Yeah, So a door,
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: a door without a hinge as a wall, it just
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: doesn't work. And if you ever ever a rusty if
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: you ever have a rusty door, it's not the door
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: that's rusty at all. It's the hinge that gets rusty.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: And so when we go through doors in life, what
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: the hinge is It's that one moment, that one person
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: or one event that makes all the difference in our lives.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: It connects who we are with who we're going to become.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: But we just don't know when that's coming. And that's
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: the that's the real importance of the Metal game is
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: you have to be ready for those moments. And sometimes
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: we might not know what happens to weeks, months, years later,
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: but it could be a coach that we had in
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: our lives, that one person has said, hey, you can
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: do this, you know, or or that that one shot
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: that we just said, you know what, screw it, man,
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go for it. And you know, it
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: connected who we are with who we became. And now
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: the beauty about it. And this is why use these
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: hinge moments because no matter how bad your situation is,
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: no matter how bleak an outcome looks, it only takes
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  Speaker 2: one And that's what we kind of get away from, right. Hey,
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: it takes one client turn everything around, one person to
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: turn everything around your life. That's what we're getting ready for.
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  Speaker 2: But so if I go through life saying, hey, this
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: this person really doesn't matter, this interaction really doesn't matter,
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: then the hind will not connect guarantee it. Yeah, it
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: also it also goes the other way too. It's just
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: that tragedies that happen in our lives, there are immediate
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: hinges because from that moment on Craig, everything's different. Like
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: death of a loved one, cancer, a significant injury, they're
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: immediate hinges. Everything's different after that. But that's that's why
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: I use the hinge moments.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: A friend of mine who's been on the show a bunch,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: his name's Joel. He was he was in the military.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: He was I'm from Afghanistan on leave, went to a party,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: fell out of a balcony, broke his neck. It's now quadriplegic,
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: you know. And as I often sided people when I'm
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: talking about Joel, you know, he can't wake up tomorrow
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: and say, you know what, fuck it, I'm not going
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: to do quadriplegia anymore. I'm just going to walk around.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: I'm too, I can't be bothered dealing with this. Right.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: So things happen, as you said, you know, catastrophes and
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: terrible moments in our life where we don't have a choice.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Now we have. This is real, This is a new reality, right.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: But I feel like with a lot of you know, Rob,
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: if you or I do a gig, we're in front
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  Speaker 1: of a group of people. I do a lot of speaking,
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: and if I say to people, put up your hand
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: if you want to be fitter, lean, a lighter, stronger,
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: you know, more effective, more empowered, more resilient, all the
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: hands go up. So there's one thing to want that,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: there's one thing to want change or want to be
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: a higher performer, whatever that means in sport or out
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: of sport. But then it's another thing to be willing
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: to step into the uncertainty, the unknown, the discomfort, the pain,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: the fucking terror. Right, Like, we love the idea of
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: high performance and success and optimal health, but we don't,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: like a lot of us, don't want to do the
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: work right.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: M it is, man, And that's where I think You've
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: got to go through life knowing that you got one shot,
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: you know, I mean, you don't go around more than once, right,
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: So you have to seize the nectar and get after it.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: Because that's I just basically like you know, and there's
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: there's opposite then too, right, But it's like you can't
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: go through life afraid because that just sucks, and that
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: means you're living on the sidelines of life. And nothing
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: good can happen in it. But that's where the critic lives, right,
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: they live up in the bleachers, not willing to sign
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: up for that race or whatever it is that scares you.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: But that's where the fun stuff is. Man, That's why
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: I look at it. That's why I think man in
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: the arena is so powerful because the critic doesn't count.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: It's that who is willing to go out there and
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: for the glory or the pain of defeat and knowing that,
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  Speaker 2: hey man, that's just living. And that's why I always
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: look at and that's how I look at life too,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: because it is so short and you have to seize
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  Speaker 2: those moments. Man's that's all we got is that lifetime.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: And that's where again it can go to the opposite
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: that way, right, you can say fuck it and just
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: you know, kill yourself, but like you have to be
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: willing to go for it. Man, that's where the real
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: success gets made.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Do you think that that drives that drive rob you know,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: that willingness to do the work, That hunger, whatever, resilience,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: you know, whatever we want to call it. That is
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: that inherent? Is that in built? Is that in my dna?
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Is that genetic or is that something that is maybe
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: a byproduct of where I've been and what I've seen
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: and who I've been around.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: I think it is caught more than it's taught. And
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: what I mean by that is that's where I spend
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: my life as trying to teach that. But I think
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: it's going through experiences in life that in the environment
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: that we are going to be and that has such
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: a huge factor to it. Right now, with that said,
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: the bottom line is is no matter your circumstance, no
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: matter what matters more is the vision. And what I
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: have seen is I have yet to meet anybody Craig. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: that wasn't told. That's a bad idea. Don't try it.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: You're not going to be successful. Forget it, man, Yeah,
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: not you. And so everybody who has been uber successful
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: in life, they were all had that moment. They all
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: had that And that's why I call them like lightning strikes,
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: because it's the most powerful force that is. It might
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: be somebody close to you, might have been that coach,
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: might have been that teacher, that teacher said, now you're
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: going end up just like your brother. Every one of
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: them who has reached that level of success was told that,
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: either by the circumstance or by somebody else. So why
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: is that that those moments helped propel them now at
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: the same time it has crushed many more people. Yes,
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: And so it's just that's the part where like, look,
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: these moments are going to have significant factors that and
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: repercussions and consequences. And it's our job again to be
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: in the moment to live life to its absolute fullest,
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: but it's our job to make sure that I think
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: those that are around us are equipped with those skills.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: So knowing that those moments are going to happen, and
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: that's just how I look at them. Man, no one
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: who has ever been successful wasn't told that, you know.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: And I think it goes beyond proving people wrong. I
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: think it's a fish or cut bait moment. And what
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I mean by that is, you can't be on the
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: fence in life when you're told you're not going to
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: make it. You're either going to agree with that voice
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: that tells you you're not going to make it, or
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: you're going to agree with yourself. And that's then the
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: importance to about coaches, because usually when people are told
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: that they had just one person to come alongside them
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: and say, you don't need to listen to that coach man,
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: you can do this. Yeah, and it made all the
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: difference in their lives. And that's the part that I
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: knew to be true when it comes to that, you know,
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: nature nurture sort of thing. But I believe it's caught
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: more than it's tight. So I kind of hang on
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: that one.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: When I was growing up, rob I was a not
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: a good academic, not a good athlete, not genetically gifted,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: you know, captain mediocrity. And you know, for me to
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: be to me, to excel at anything just meant like
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: literally just doing probably more work than most people around me,
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: you know, because I didn't have great genetics all that stuff.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I was a morbidly obs kid. I was, I guess
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: the equivalent in pounds two hundred two and ten pounds
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: when I was fourteen, you know, all this stuff. And
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  Speaker 1: I had a few hinge moments as you call them,
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: and and and out of one of those hinge moments,
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: you know, I just had this light bulb where essentially
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: I went, this is very simplified. But I don't want
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: to be like how I am. I don't want to
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: be this way anymore. And I radically change my behavior,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: which then in turn changed my thinking. I get it,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: it's a two way kind of street. But I got
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: in shape, I got fit, I got relatively strong and healthy.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: And for somebody without great genetics, I kind of tried
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: to figure out somewhat how to optimize them. But for me,
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: changing my body was great. But what it really opened
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: the door on for me was understanding my own potential
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: for not for greatness, but my version of greatness. You know.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: It's like, you know, my nine out of ten, what's
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: nine out of ten for me might be a four
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: for you because maybe you're more gifted, right, But I
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: think there's that like going through that. For me, I
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: lost the equivalent of about seventy pounds and got to
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: a weight that was about the right weight for my
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: then size and age and all of that, you know.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: But and the weight loss was cool, and the fitness
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: was great, and the transformation was great, but it was
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: really the like the mental, emotional and social ramifications that
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: like I went, oh, fuck, if I can do this,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: what else can I do? I think it's that that,
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: you know, it's almost like that that that shift in
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: mindset is really just a byproduct of stepping into doing
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: hard shits.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Sometimes, absolutely, man, And that's the best part of it, right,
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: stepping into the next That's what I love. I love that, man.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: I mean that fires me up because I think it's
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: it's so true, it's been that becomes like the most
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: important mental skill is just the confidence and belief. And
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: oh man, now I do have a vision. Yes, it's powerful, man,
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: really powerful. That's why I think confidence belief it's the
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: most important metal skill.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: And I guess like for me, I didn't set out
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: to do that. I just set out to not look
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: as terrible as I looked like. I was just an
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: auto in year old, fat, insecure kid who didn't want
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: to be socially invisible, right. I just wanted some girl
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: to go, well, he's not hideous. That would have been
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: a good yeah, you know, I wanted to be not
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: picked last for a team. Like these were not lofty goals, right.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: But but it's in the doing of that where you know,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: you go, ah, it's like I started to pull back
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: a curtain on my self awareness and self understanding, you know,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: where I didn't obviously articulate it like that when I
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: was fourteen. But you know, getting in shape was good,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: But what was more exciting and more empowering was starting
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: to have a window into my own potential, you know,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: And I think helping people like I love helping people
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: open the door, pull back the curtain, whatever metaphor we
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: want to use, but on their own potential, power and possibilities.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: You know, I mean, how can I add to that? Brother?
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: I just want to listen to you share the story. Man,
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: that's good. I mean, it's when here's here's what I
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: look at it though. Here's what I look at it
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: is like the difference that you make now in p
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: was lives Craigs, knowing like where you were then and
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: how many people that you have helped throughout life. Like,
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: that's the real power of it, you know what I mean?
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: If you didn't make that decision, man, do you know
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: how many people's lives would be different today? Yeah, because
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: now you said, well, you know, hey, I guess this
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: is how it is. No, Man, you made that choice
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: and you impacted how many thousands of lives because of
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: when they go home and they reckon you know, realize, man,
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: they still had your voice in their head when they
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: went home.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: That night.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah your voice saying yeah, you are awesome. Man.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: It's funny like with people that thank you. I appreciate
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: that the people that I work with. So a bit
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: more backstory for you. So I set up the first
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: personal training censer in Australia. So in nineteen ninety personal
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: training was an industry. There was there was no course,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: there was no qualification, there was no insurance, there was
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: no regulation. I started doing in maybe eighty five eighty
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: six in commercial gyms and then set up my own
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: center when I was twenty six and I had no
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: fucking idea what I was doing. But another one of
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: those hinge moments where you go shit, Like I knew
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: that I didn't want to have a boss a job.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I wanted to work, but I didn't want a job
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: right and I'm like, well, how the fuck can I
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: work for me? Make money? Do shit? I'm passionate about
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: connect with human being, keep my own evolution happening, but
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: not show up every day for a job which didn't
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: appeal to me. But you know what was like the
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: biggest I'll shut up after this because this is not
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: about me, this podcast. I apologize, But what was the
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: biggest learning curve. For me, rob was like being in
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: front of all of these humans like you think about
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: as a trainer or a coach or a mental like
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: everyone that you work with wants to be better, Like
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: nobody comes to you because they want to stay how
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: they are now better shows up as a lot of
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: different things physically, mentally, emotionally, skill you know, strength, power, speed,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: fucking whatever, you know, resilience, And it's like for me,
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: that was the classroom, you know, more than university for
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: me being in front of all those different humans with
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: different drivers and different personalities and different pain thresholds and
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: different perceptions and different stories. You know, what about for
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: you like that experience? I know you worked with a
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: lot of athletes. What came out of that for you?
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: Same thing? Man? I mean I always say everyone that
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: we meet we can learn something from. And everyone on
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: this earth one way or another is you know, when
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: the student's ready to teacher will appear. Right. We're all
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: doctors and we're all and we're all patients. Yeah, you know,
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: it's just like who were interact with. But we I
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: always learn more from those that I interact with and
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: that I help then I think they do from me.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: From my standpoint, you know, whether whether it's a how
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: they approach something, especially working like with the really elite ones,
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: they all just have something that's a little bit different,
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: and it's like looking deep into that and saying, what
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: what is it that you have that's untouchable? Right, It's
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: like if you were to go deep in their soul,
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: there's like this lamp or something right with like you
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: just can't touch it. Like everyone I just think, like
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: just has that. Hopefully that metaaforre made sense. I'm trying
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: to think of like a laddiner, right, it was like yeah, so,
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: you know, And whether that is just somebody's ultimate belief
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: in themselves, whether it's their ability to outwork somebody else,
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: whether it is their ability to focus under pressure and
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: want to be in those situations, whether it's somebody's uh
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: skill of letting god mistakes and moving on, whether it's
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: somebody's ability to just see a painting, you know, and
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: to be able to go and do it. You know,
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: if if it's somebody to be able to connect with
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: somebody else, everyone has that, I totally believe it, you know,
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: And I've just been blessed enough to work with so
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: many and just try and discover what is their their
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: essence and how are they able to go about it?
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: And that's the key is you just got to be
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: working on then your strength all the time. And I
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: think that's what the the purpose is man, and then
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: you take that strength and how is it going to
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: be able to help others? Because that's where the real
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: joy is. That's that's why I look at them, and
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: the real joy is from helping others reach their goal.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: It's like you you reach yours whatever it is, that's
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: a mountaintop moment. You're going to come back that off
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: that mountaintop and it's like, okay, well we're what now
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: what's next? No matter what it is, right, million dollars, man,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: Olympic gold metal, it's and it's always getting back to men.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: It's then how do I use this to be able
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: to help somebody else? That's where the real joy comes from.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Tell me about the dynamic rub between, Like when you're
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: working with somebody and you want to help them, among
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: other things, build you know, resilience and mental toughness and
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: adaptability and flexibility and all that fucking awesome stuff to
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: be able to perform on the pressure. But at the
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: same time, you don't want to be a prick. You
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: don't want to do you know what I'm saying, It's like, yeah,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: we want to be understanding and where and compassionate and empathetic,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: but also get the fuck up and stop being a pussy.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: Like what's that juxtaposition? Like how do you how do
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: you navigate that? I?
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I do it, well sometimes I don't because you
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: have to kind of coach like that. But yeah, it's
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: not my natural style. I don't like always doing that right.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: I might because I don't want it more than them,
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: because I would get wrapped up in it. Man, you know,
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: I mean if it's so, I look at it in
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: terms of you have to know that what we're going
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: to build first is based on love. That is based
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: on love and the same thing we are working together
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: to get you better. Well, that's not always comfortable, and
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: there's going to be I always tell them, like, look,
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: there is no growth without al Like, there's going to
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: be tough conversations that will be difficult. You have to
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: be want to go down this journey with me if
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to be the right person, And by
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: all means, we take a poison pill together and separate,
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: right will we kind of set that up beforehand because it's, uh,
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of moving parts. Yeah, and you have
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: to be willing to look at all the details. The
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: details is what becomes really important. You know, who you
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: surrounding yourself with? Man, what are you feeding your mind?
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: You know? Where are these little demons that you have
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: kind of hidden that you don't want to admit, you know,
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: wan anybody else to look at? You got to go
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: there because at some point they're going to show up,
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: and you don't want them showing up when it's the
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: most important time. So that's that's the part of and
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: then kind of like you know, into the weeds part
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: about coaching. A lot of times it's just throwing lobs
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: out there in terms of telling them somewhere or another
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: there I don't know, may be a little difficult for
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: you, It might be too difficult, It might be tough. You know,
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: what do they do?
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: Then?
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: All right, I'll show you, Yeah, watch me. And then
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: as long as that, as long as that love is base, man,
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: then I think people always want to be coached hard.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: And I think also sometimes love doesn't feel very loving, right,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: you know, it's.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: That well, said, I tell come up with that one, Nah, dude.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: I tell my clients all the time like I used to,
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: even with my personal training days back, not with a
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: lad athletes, not with you know, high performers, just general public.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: I would say to my clients, if you want someone
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: to hold your hand and tell you you're amazing every four
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: minutes and rub your back and sing komba, I'm not
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: the dude, right I go. But if you want someone
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: who genuinely wants to help you, explore your potential, power, possibilities,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: support you, care about you. But I'm more interested in
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: your long term potential and growth and development than I
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: am in making you feel good for the next three minutes.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: And you know that's it. It's at the same time,
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: of course, I don't want to crush people, but you know,
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: people can't build mental toughness and resilience without doing fucking
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: hard things like it doesn't.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Work right, you know, and with you man, loving doesn't
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: always appear like loving.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Loving doesn't always feel like love, doesn't always feel loving,
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: you know. So for me, if I'm like sometimes if
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: I'm loving someone, that's not the experience they're having, But
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: nonetheless it's coming from a platform of love from an
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: intention of love. And the thing is that sometimes, you know,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: even with audiences robs, sometimes I say to them, like,
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: even if it's a couple of hundred people, I will say,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: I can tell you what you want to hear or
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: what you need to hear, what would you prefer because
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: I can make this kumbay are comfortable and you all
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: feel awesome, or we can, as you say, get into
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: the weeds, open a few doors and be self aware
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: and you know, not self loathing, just self aware. And
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: mostly they reluctantly say all right, you know, and I go.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: And the reason that like, I'm not interested in turning
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: up for a one hour keynote or a half day
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: workshop and boosting my popularity hopefully they like it. But
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: I'm actually interested in creating an experience with a group,
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: an individual or a group corporate, sporting whatever that is
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: a catalyst for something powerful for them. And I go,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm not the answer. I'm not the solution.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: I'm just a bloke sharing thoughts and ideas and strategies.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: You're the answer that you're the solution, you know. And
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of coaches, and especially in
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: the fucking personal development self help space, Rob who put
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: themselves up as the solution. I fucking hate that so much.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: It so much.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: Well, because they're building I mean, what they're building is
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: they're building dependency, you know, and they're not building capacity.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: We want to build capacity. And it's the same thing, man,
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: I teld like, it's just the exact same thing. Man,
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: I told my kids, you know what I mean, Like,
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: I don't want you on the side of the road
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: having no idea how to change his tire. I haven't
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: done my job. My job is to teach you this. Well,
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: it's going to be painful going through this and one
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: d per man. I can't stand that too. I don't
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: know why it bothers me so much, man, because like
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: coaches are going to put themselves out in front when
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: it's like no, you know, if they want to give
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: you credit as part of that, man, that's totally on
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: them to do it. But it's not you, man, And
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: I tell them that all the time. Man, you never
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: hit a shot, right because well we can keep going
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: on that stuff, man, but I'm tellingly you worth you
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: a Yeah, I don't want to get you on my podcast, man,
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Can I get you on my play hours.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, but I think, thank you. I love that.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: But I mean the thing is too like if I'm
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: making it about me, well then I'm making it about
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: me and my ego, and it's like without me or nothing,
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: and it's all fucking self serving bullshit, right. It's like,
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: all I am is a resource. That's it for the people,
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: the teams you're going to. I'm a resource, right that.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: And I might be valuable or not on the day,
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: I might be on fire, you know whatever, but ultimately
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: what matters. It's like we're fifteen one hundred and fifteen,
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: at fifteen and fifty eight or something episodes into the
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: You Project, six years, over a thousand incredible guests. You're
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: one of them. But at the end of the day,
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: it's just two blokes on a podcast talking, right. The
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: value for the listener is what they might then do
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: as a result of a strategy, an idea, a piece
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: of information, a story that resonates. So I love my
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: listeners and I love them listening, but what I really
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: fucking love is when I get an email from someone
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: who says I heard Rob Bell say this, and I
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: went and did that, and this is my outcome, and
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: then they might say, you're at your podcast changed my
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: life and I write back and go, no, it didn't.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: I haven't changed any lives. I've influenced a few people,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: but the only life I can change is mine. And
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: by the way, thousands of people listen to that episode,
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: but you're the only one who did that, so it's
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: all you well done. Yeah, you know, And as you said,
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: the moment that we start to create, you know, this
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: culture or this idea of oh wow, without me, you
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: wouldn't get there, then you know we're building an addiction,
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: which is we're building something destructive and unhealthy, you know,
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: in a dependency. Like I used to say to my client,
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: so this is a bad business move, but all of
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: my clients, I'd say, I want to teach you, train you,
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: prepare you to be able to do everything that you
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: need to do to be self sustaining, to optimize your body, nutrition, sleep, lifestyle, physiology,
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and then fuck you off. Right. I
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: don't want you to you know, I love you, but
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: I don't want you dependent on me, because then I've
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: just created another problem that you don't need. And ironically,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: most trainers won't do that because they wanted people keep
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: people on the hook forever. But it's actually and I
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: didn't do that strategically, but it's in the doing of
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: that where you become more sought after because people know that, oh,
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: I'm not just a pay packet for him. He'd eat
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: like he really wants a bit of fuck off. He
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: really wants me to get good, and then he wants
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: me to continue the journey by myself. And I'm like, yes, so.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, man. I tell them my athletes, I'm gonna
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: work myself out of a job.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: My insurance agent doesn't call me up saying hey, man,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: we were still good. Like that never happens, you know
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: what I mean. It's like, so I tell them like
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: the same exact thing. Brother. It's like, I'm just a guide. Right,
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: You're the You're the hero hero of the story, because
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: you have to be the hero, right, You've got to
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: be the main character. Man. Yeah, and I'm certainly not
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: the hero. And the reason why two minutes because I
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: love people and I want them to be successful and
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: then to be able to, you know, just keep supporting
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: them from the sidelines, and if they need me back
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: in to help, then hey, man, I'm there for you.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: But I'm a big believer though then that I believe
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: that there is a God and I'm not it mm yeah,
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: come dependent on somebody else on that. Like you said, man,
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: it becomes a different problem.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe you're a conduit to that God, Rob. Maybe
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: let's hope, dude. So tell me about a hinge moment
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: in the life of Rob Bell, something that's uh was transformational,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: that's going to resonate with us.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: Oh man, I've had several hinge moments, and I'll share
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: this one so well, I know what's like. Which one
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: do you want? And do you want like the tragedy one,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: do you want sort of the comedy? Do you want
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: the professional one? Or do you want the one where
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: if it's like that was really wild how this kind
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: of all came to be.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Let's do that, dude. We've got half an hour. Bro,
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: you just go wherever you want.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: I've been Okay, right here we go, So I don't
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: I don't share this one. I don't share this one
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: a lot, but I still find this one to be
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: very impactful. I'll try and synthesize as much I can,
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: and you can tell I've told this story before. So
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: my grandmother for every Christmas she gets me Reader's Digest magazine.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: As a teenager, that was our old gift to me.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: Now Readers Digest magazine here in the States, Like it's
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: just a bunch of stories, you know, and it's like, okay,
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: So I would read these, you know, my own the
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: toilet sometimes and hey, thanks grandma. One would come every month.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: It's like, okay, I could have used cash, but this
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: is great. And I came across this story again, I'm
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: fourteen years old. It came across this story about runners
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: that would go on these long runs and have these
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: euphoric sensations and how they would that's why they would
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: like run all these long distances, you know, and I
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: was like, wow, that's pretty cool. Fourteen years old kind
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: of forget about it. I get into you know, high school,
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: and then I'm in college and I'm going down to
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: sports psycher out right, like I'm all in on this.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: And I'm a senior now in college, twenty three years old.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: And the professor in that class says, those that are
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: psychology majors, you have to do you have to replicate
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: a research study something that has been done in the past,
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: and you're going to present on it. That's going to
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: help you for you know whatever, going to grad school.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: When she said that, an image popped in my mind.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: And that image in my mind was that those runners
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: from the Readers Digest magazine, right, those runners everyone in
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: the sensation I'm going to go find that, you know,
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: and do that. And so I go and I kind
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: of I don't exactly find that story, but I find
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: it whatever's close enough to it, right, you know, and
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: these runners go in these long runs, have you four sensations?
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: And why they would keep running?
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: And uh?
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: And then I presented it at a conference and graduate.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: You know, it's fine. So now I know what I
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: want to do with my life, and that's going to
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: grad school. So I need to. I apply to master's schools.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: And I moved out to Colorado because I wanted that
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: year off right. I was a ski bomb. I skied
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: ninety seven days that year in Crest Debute, and I
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: was applying and applied to grad school, so I knew
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: exactly where I wanted to go, and I applied to
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: Temple University. And the reason why I applied to Temple
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: University was simply, uh, hey, it was one of the schools,
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: you know. So I'm like, I have the phone interview
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: with the professor and he keeps asking me about the
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: study man, you know, and I'm like, you know, I'm like,
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: in my ignorance at the time, I didn't even know
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: who I was talking to. And then what I do
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: is then I go after this phone interview because it
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: keeps drilling me about the study, you know, and I
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: was like, well, you know, yeah, and I did this
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: and it was great, you know. And it's like and
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: I go and I check up who it was, and
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: I'm talking to and the person I'm talking to whose
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: name is Michael Sachs. And he was the one who
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: coined the phrase runners high. Wow. So the study that
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: I looked at and how they had these U four sensations,
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: what runners high was all about. He was the one
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: who did that story. Now, I was a fringe candidate
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: at best, and I got an assistant ship. I got
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: into Temple University. And the only reason why I got
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: into Temple University is my grandmother would get me readers,
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: digest magazines. If she never gets me magaz things, I
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: guarantee you I never come across that. I don't get
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: into grad school, don't meet my wife, don't go on
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: to Diversity Tennessee, and my story and path would have
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: been different. But because she did, and because I had
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: that story, man, so a reader Digest magazine became a
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: hinge moment, and that's how small hinges can swing big doors.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Wow, dude, that's such a good story. That's like that, man, Yeah,
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: I love it. That's amazing, all right, So let's.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: I don't tell that one a lot, you know what
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: I mean?
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: No, I love that. I love that, And it's just
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: it's so true. It's so true that the you know,
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: sliding door moments, whatever hinge moments. It's tell us about
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: your definition of mental toughness. Not not necessarily what the
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: you know, the field says, but what is it for
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: you when you try to explain it to a not try,
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: but when you explain it, what is it? What does
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: it look like? How does it? How does it work?
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, academics need to come up with their own definitions
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: because they need to publish. So it's like, well, let
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: me just go to this own definition of mental toughness.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: So there's tons out there, but I'm in a jeans
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: and T shirt. Kind of guy. Right, Let's keep this simple.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: Mental toughness is how we deal handle and cope with
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: the adversity, the struggle and the setbacks in life. That's
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: all it is. It's not a matter of if. It's
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: just a matter of when and what it's going to
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: look like now, depending on what our field is. Right.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: But mental toughness, oftentimes you know it's not going to
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: win us anything, but if we don't have it, it
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: will lose it for us. Yeah, And that's how I
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: define it. And the other part that you can look
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: at mental toughness is how you perform well under pressure.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: That is the other part of it as well. And
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: if you're in it, then you will face pressure and
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: it's how you deal with that. That's how I define it.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Maybe, Yeah, thank you. It's interesting. We talk about black
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: a lot in sport. Obviously a hot performance. But I
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: do a fair bit of work over here with Victor.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: I live in the state of Victoria, so Victoria Police.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: I do some work with them and a bunch of
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: other organizations. But so I talk regularly about the idea
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: of high performance, and I have to clarify and I
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: go so when I'm talking about high performance. I'm for
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: this conversation. I'm not talking about Olympic gold. I'm not
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: talking about curing cancer, Nobel prizes, joining the Space program.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about your ability to get the most out
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: of you, Like what is your potential on? How close
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: to that are you? Like? What are you? And I
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: always tell the story about my mum. Who's My mumm
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: is eighty four. She weighs about one hundred pounds. She's
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: five one on a good day. She's had cancer three times,
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: she was meant to die multiple times. She's had a
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: heart attack, she had half a lung removed. And I
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: spoke to her about an hour ago and she's the
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: most upbeat, positive, Like she was going through chemo. She
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: had five months of chemo therapy. She went down to
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: thirty eight kilos, which is about eighty pounds. She had
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: blood noses every day, she couldn't taste, she lost most
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: of her hair. And I would ring her and she
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: would ask me if I'm eating enough? Because you know,
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: when I saw you last weekend, you look gaunt. I'm like,
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: you weigh eighty pounds. My leg weighs eighty pounds, and
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: you know, like in the middle of all of her shit.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: You know, in the middle of absolute physical, mental, emotional chaos,
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: she was worried about me and she wasn't complaining, you know.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: So for me, that's high performance, that's resilience, that's adaptability,
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: that's optimal mindset. Doesn't mean she never has a bad day,
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: but you know, so for me, that idea of helping
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: people just move towards whatever their version of high performance
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: looks like.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: You know, you know, I always look at this too,
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: because it's uh, you know, in the book like a
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: man search for meeting Victor Frankel, right, like we get
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: meaning from our suffering. So whatever like you're going through,
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: you have to find meaning in that suffering because that
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: is where you're given a different perspective. And I look
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: at like perspective and gratitude as like the superpowers, you know,
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: if you can have those the perspective of man just
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: really because all maybe just take things for granted, right,
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: it's just how we are.
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: Man.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: It's like, but when you can but when you can
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: take that cup of coffee as the best cup of
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: coffee in the world and like really mean it, like
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: you don't need to, yeah, And then that's gratitude and perspective,
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: and I think, like it's going through really really difficult
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: things like that and near death experiences, when the essence
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: of life just comes out and it's everything simple.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: For sometimes I think I live. Where I'm at right
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: now is upstairs at my house in my office and
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: straight downstairs kitchen lounge, all that shit, right, But sometimes
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: this is weird. But sometimes I'm walking at night. I
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: walk up the stairs and I've got like a drink
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: in one hand, I've got a near thing and I'm talking.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: I'm having a conversation with someone. I've got my dinner
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: on the other hand. I'm walking up the stairs, I'm
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: twisting around the thing, I'm doing all this shit, and
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: I just have this moment, how fucking amazing is my body?
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: How good? This is funny rob But I'm like, especially
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: after I spend time with my friend Joel, who's a quad,
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like, how good is walking? I can stand up
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: out of this chair. I've got five or six friends
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: who can't do that. They can't they can't push back
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: the chair like I am right now and stand up
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: and walk to the door. They can't do it. But
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: if all of a sudden perish the thought, you know,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: you or I with that or me anyway, you know,
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: like all all you would want, you would give everything.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: You have to be able to push the chair back,
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: stand up and walk to the door. Right, But we
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: can do it. We can turn on a tap, there's
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: hot water, we can push a button, there's cool air.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: I can walk out and get in my car, drive
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: to the gym with two million dollars worth of equipment
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: for ten bucks a day and a week. And you know,
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: like my life is so fucking privileged that I have
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: to keep doing a stock take otherwise I forget, you.
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: Know, yeah, absolutely, man, I remember, like and I try
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: to remind myself of that one all the time, Like
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: when I go down and fill up my water bottle
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: in the morning with ice, the ice is what does
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: it for me? Because I just remind myself as there
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: are people in this world that don't have ice. Man, Yeah,
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: look at this ice. Look how awesome this is. And
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: I'm the same thing man, when I'm like, you know,
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: even stuff are like with some injuries and stuff like that.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: And I heard this one absolutely, But it's like, when
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: you are healthy, you have thousands of wishes a day.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: What do you want you're healthy when you're unhealthy. You
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: got one wish?
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so true, so true. Dude, Hey, I want to
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: talk to you a little bit about have you got
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: another ten or fifteen minutes?
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: Rob, Yeah, man, let's do it.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: I want to talk to you a little bit about
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: I'm fired.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: I'm fired up, by the way, manly.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: I'm yeah, I'm good. You know, sometimes I forget, well
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: I don't really, but I almost forget I'm on a podcast,
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: especially when I I mean, I like most people, but
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: when I connect with someone that I really like and
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: I respect and I'm vibing with. So I want to
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: talk to you a bit.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: About, you know, the idea of you know, doing better,
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: thinking better, building habits, behaviors, living in alignment with our values, goals,
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: all that fucking self help stuff, which is all true.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: But there's the idea and then there's the messy, uncomfortable,
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: practical journey, right, And I think what often gets in
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: the way for many people is, you know, self doubt,
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: self loathing, fear, self limiting beliefs, all of that. And
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: that's not rare, that's common. And even me, I have
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: my own bullshit. I overthink some things. I still have
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: imposter syndrome. Even though I've done some good stuff, I
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: still have self doubt. I still you know, all that bullshit, right,
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: but I learned to coexist with it and turn the
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: volume down on it.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: So people who are listening to this and going, yeah,
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: that's all right, YouTube buffheads, but you know, I'm fucking
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: riddled with fear or I think I'm shit, or you know,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: I have so much self doubt.
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: And any ideas around overcoming, not eliminating or eradicating, but
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: turning down the volume on that stuff that's self limiting,
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: you know, in a chaos.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: Rob I believe that we can act away into rate
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: thinking easier than trying to think your way in a
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: rate of acting.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: Oh. I love that.
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: And the reason why I've always loved on that is
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: because it's you know, just take the first step, man,
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: Just sign up for the race. Man, you sign up
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: for the race. What's the hardest thing about doing the race?
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: Signing up for the race. Once you sign up for
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: the race, and I just use this as an example
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: because it's an easy one. It's slow hanging fruit. But
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: you sign up for the race, your attitude and outlook
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: changes immediately. Yeah, because now you have that goal and
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: now you have the vision and the little thing. So
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: I always say, like, you know, you act your way
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: into right thinking, and then you just got to start
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: with one thing. I think too often we kind of
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: go down this path of picking two three things that
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: we really want to get better, and well, if three
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: are good, why not just pick four. It doesn't work
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: like that. You just got to pick one area and
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: just master that. Just master that, and then what happens
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: is other things start to line up. So let's just say,
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna cut out ice cream, like, no more
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: desserts or whatever, no more, I'm just gonna cut that out.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, And and then you don't have to cut
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: that out and then sugar and stuff like that out
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: of the whole day. You're just cutting out the desserts. Man.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: And then you do that, you give yourself a confidence
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: because you are going to achieve it. You give yourself
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: the confidence. You're going to give yourself that focus, that determination,
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: and then other things are gonna line up. It's just
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: how it happens, right, Because if you're giving this up,
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: why not just have a little more water throughout the day? Right? Well,
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: want to just go for that one more walk or
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: something like that, and it doesn't have to be like
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: the goal. The goal is the no dessert, but the
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: other things line up. And now, the one part that
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: is so important about that journey is no matter what
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: journey you're going to be going on towards betterment, improvement, man,
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: there are going to be set. You've got to understand that.
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: So the fact that you cut out dessert doesn't mean hey,
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: there might not there might be a slip a couple
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: weeks down the road. Yeah, and you know what, so
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: fucking what? Yeah, But what happens is is we eat
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: the dessert and then we say, all the thoughts start
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: coming back. And that's where the real demon lies, not
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: the fact they eat dessert. You just discounted these last
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: two weeks that you've done, and now every failure that
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: you've had, like in the past, comes back and it
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: starts telling you, look, see, I told you couldn't do it. Man,
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: why do you even try setting that goal to begin with?
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: When you have to understand, Look, it was just one dessert, man,
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: get back on it. That becomes then the real importance.
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: And that's where I think the real mental toughness and
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: real resiliency and strength comes into place. After you have that.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: You don't have to say screw it, I blew it.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: You just say, you know what, Yeah, I messed up, man.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: And that's the difference between a lapse and and a collapse.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: Different between a relapse and a collapse is that, man,
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: is how your attitude and outlook remains.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: They looked at addicts, man, Addicts that have fallen off
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: the wagon. They had to drink and they they ended
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: up gotting sober as opposed to those that didn't. And
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: you know what, the big thing underneath it was those
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: that had to drink but still end up getting sober
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: know that that wasn't them and that wasn't their identity.
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: That they still believe that they could be successful. Those
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: that didn't it became a collapse, man, because they thought, man,
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: that was their identity. Man, everything was in that, you know,
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: and look, I couldn't do it. And then that's man,
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: where there's a lot of deep layers to that one.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: But that's the part is like you're going to mess up,
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: you still just have to keep on going. That's the
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: big thing, man, Because flat tire on your way to
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: Sydney doesn't mean you got to turn all the way
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: back around and go back to Melbourne. You just change
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: the tire and you keep going.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: You know, look at you chucking in the fucking the
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: Aussie references beautiful OSI podcast.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: What was that? What was that race from Melbourne to Sydney?
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so there. Yeah, I don't know that they'd do
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: it so much anymore, but for a very long time
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: he used to be sponsored by a big shopping center
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: out here called Westfield. And yeah, so yeah, they would,
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: they would, they would race from Melbourne to I don't
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: even I should Cliff. So there was there was a farmer,
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: basically untrained dude. I think he was fifty five or sixty.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: He'd never done anything competitive, but he spent his life
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: running around a farm literally all day, every day, not
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: all day, but and he was just had this but
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: what he was able to do, Like he ran slower
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: than everybody else, but he ran fucking twenty hours a day.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, so while everyone yeah, he just kept going dude.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: So and that's and that's life.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: Rather like it's a game of attrition. You're staying the
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: game long enough, you will be sixcess us. Will I
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: guarantee it you know, because it's not how fashion do,
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: it's who slows down the least.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's I mean one of the things that
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: I get, which I understand, but I kind of correct
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: once I start my presentation. Sometimes I get introduced as
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: a motivational speaker, right, which I'm not. I'm an educator,
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: I'm a coach whatever, right, And then I talk about motivation,
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: and you know, the thing is that, like in the
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: sense of getting shit done. You know when we talk
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: about motivation as a state that we get in, you know, inspiration, motivation,
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: that heightened emotion, and people think that's the key, and
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: I kind of unpack that with them and go, look,
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: when you're motivated in that state, it's great, but you know,
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: there's going to come a point in time and it
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: could be tonight, or it could be tomorrow, it could
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: be a month, but where you're not motivated. And I
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: would say to all of my clients, you know, athletes,
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: et cetera, I don't care what you do when you're motivated.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: I care what you do when you can't be fucked.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: I care what you do when no one's watching. I
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: care what you do when you don't want to get
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: out of bed. I care what you do when you've
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: got zero inspiration, right, because it's our ability to be
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: able to do those things that we don't want to
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: do when we're getting no accolades, no cheer squad, no
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: fucking trophy, no pat on the back, no validation. You know,
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: that's the thing. And it's that ability to be able
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: to I know, you know all of this, but to
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: be able to just suck it up and go. I
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: don't want to do it, but I need to do it.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: Off I go. You know, And it's that you know, people, people,
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: so many people have said to me over the years,
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: you know, I just lost motivation. I'm like, and and
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: I go, welcome to the human club. We all fucking
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: lose motivation, you know. It's like people say to me, like,
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: I started lifting weights when I was fifteen, so I
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: pretty much have not stopped for forty five years. I'm sixty, right,
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: and I'm not a superstar. I don't have great genetics,
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: but for my age, et cetera, I'm in not bad shape.
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: Every every gig I do, some bloke will come up
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: to talk to me and say something like, how do
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: you stay motivated to hit the gym? Every day and
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: I go I don't. It's literally hardwired into my operating system.
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: It requires zero discipline, zero self control, zero willpower, zero
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: motivation because it's literally intertwined with who I am and
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: how I am. It just takes a while right for
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: people to get that. It ain't about how inspired you
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: can be for a.
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: Day one hundred percent man's And that's why I think
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: it gets that lifestyle, you know, it is when it
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: becomes intertwined. If this is just what I do now,
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: I love it, man, because it's fun for me. You know.
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: It's my thing is running, and it's it's there at
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: five thirty in the morning when it's dark out and
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: I get to run with my chocolate lab. That's the
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: best part, man, for me, because it's quiet. I'm getting
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: after it. I'm focusing on my breathing and it's still,
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: you know, and I'll pray out there and just enjoy
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: that moment. And I mean I never run with any
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: music nothing, man. I don't need a distraction when it
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: comes out. I just need to be in the moment.
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: But it's it's not like it's just what I do, yeah,
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: because I love doing it.
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm imagining you don't get particularly stressed or anxious
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: or maybe I'm wrong, Oh.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: Man, I do. Yeah, that's that's another reason why I
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: have to work out and exercise. If I don't, Man,
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: I'm yeah right stressed.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: Right, that's your gut, that's your got to. I want
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: to wind up with.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: Some of my research on you, So my research my
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: PI day is on a think called metaperception, which is
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: your ability to understand your ability to understand the you
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: experience for others. In other words, the question at the
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: core of my research, if we personalized it for you,
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: is what's the Rob Bell experience like for others? What
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: do you think that is? What do you think the
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: rob experience is like for your family, for your friends,
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: for an audience.
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: It's a great question. I asked the question in my
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: podcast that makes people pause as well. And I hope
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: and what I think though, and I'm trying to think
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: back because not every situation is always positive. But I
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: believe that those that I get to spend time with,
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: and I'm fortunate enough to get to spend time with, are
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: better off and better people because we shared the same breath,
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: we shared the same oxygen, you share the same space,
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: you know, and I just also pray that that make
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: an impact in their lives, and I want, I want
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: that's the that's the biggest why for me. But I
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: believe in that parts to be true, that people are
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: better off and they are better people, and they made
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: an impact because we've got to spend time together and
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: break bad together and go through tough times.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, good fee man, Well that's that's a good answer.
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: What's yours? Do you know?
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: What? Like, if I'm being brutal and authentic, you know,
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: I think probably better to ask my audience. But seeing
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: as I'm doing a playage doing this, I'll give you
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: an answer. I think more people that listen to my
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: show will listen to my presentations or involved in my
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: workshops more than not have a positive opinion. I think,
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: you know, It's like I get to it because I
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: have a pretty big audience somewhere on everyday show, I
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: get two or three emails a week essentially telling me
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: I'm a fucking idiot, which I'm okay with. Man, Yeah,
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: you need you need people. Look, I think some people
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: think I'm intense, some people think I'm inspiring, some people
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: think i'm a little bit intimidating, which I don't like.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: But you know, when I used to lecture at university
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: or college as you call it, I would get mostly
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: positive reviews. You know that the students would but probably
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: about one in ten would say something like Craig's intimidating,
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: which you know then I tried to address. But yeah, look,
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: I what my intention is to help and love and
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: inspire and empower people to explore their own you know, potential.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: That's my intention. I don't always do it. I'm a
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: work in progress, but you know, I think most people
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: think I'm pretty driven and pretty. I think they might
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: think I'm a little obsessed, but I'm I'm not. I'm
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: just fucking curious. And it's like, my energy at sixty
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: is ridiculous, dude, My brain, my mind, my body, my creativity,
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: my curiosity, my excitement. It's more than it was when
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: I was thirty. I don't even know why. Like, nothing
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: in me feels like I'm slowing down. I could drop
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: dead next week, but today I feel fucking amazing. So yeah,
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: but it's an interesting thought experiment, isn't it.
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good. I like that one I asked, like,
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: what it's like to be your client, but I like
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: the way that you put it a lot better.
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: Hence that's really interesting, PhD. I'll try and do this
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: in one or two minutes for you and you'll totally
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: understand this. But so I created a little kind of
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: self awareness pyramid which is not really part of my
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: research but just out of my research which I share
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: with groups. And at the base of the pyramid is metacognition,
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: just thinking about thinking, right, because most people don't really
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: think about how they think, and most people, most people
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: automatically think that other people think like them, which is
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: false consensus effect, the false consensus effect, which is they
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: think that you know what's coming out of their mouth,
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: their intention will be the other person's experience, right, That's
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: often not the case. And then when you think people
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: think like you, but they don't and you don't have
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: that awareness, that's a problem. So the next layer up,
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: or the next you know, kind of level on the
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: pyramid is theory of mind, is thinking about how other
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: people think and as you know, trying to have an
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: insight into someone else's reality in the moment. And then
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: the next one up from that is my research which
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: has meta perception, which is trying to understand the you
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: experience for the rest of the world. And then at
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: the top of that is meta accuracy, which is just
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: basically how good you are at that. But it's funny
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: because you know, in leadership, in coaching, in conflict resolution
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: and problem solving, in team building, communication, developing, culture, this,
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: all of these things are crucial, but they're not spoken
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: about much. You know, people don't. People don't. I mean
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: even the metaphor rob that you know, you and I
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: are in the same comp or not the metaphor, but
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: the reality you and I are in the same conversation
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: but not the same experience. And let's say we have
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: ten thousand people listen to this. No one's going to
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: have an identical experience, although they're listening to an identical thing,
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: you know, and that whole kind of you know, there's
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: the having an awareness that I'm not looking at the world.
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: I'm looking through my window at the world. So there's
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: there's the world, and then there's my story about the world,
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: and they're different things. There's the stimulus, and then there's
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: my story about or response to the stimulus, which is
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: why you throw a snake at somebody, and they have
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: a fucking heart attack is so throw the same snake
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: at somebody else and they give it a cuddle. You know.
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: It's like, it ain't about the snake or the stimulus,
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: it's about what it means to you. So that whole
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: kind of and this isn't podcast for another day, but
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: I love that shit. Yeah it's good man, dude. Maybe
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: we'll go there on your show. Hey, Rob, tell people
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: where they can follow you, find you, buy your stuff,
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: connect with you. And I'm so grateful to.
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: You, absolutely, man. I appreciate that. You know. If people
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: go to my website, it's just it's doctor Robbell dot com.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: It's b R R O B B E l L
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: dot com. All my books are there. I've got a
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: I've always got it, like a free resource. It's just
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: a focused roadmap, like seven super fast ways to win
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: the day. But yeah, my latest book was I Can't
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: Wait to Be Patient, and it's just all focused on
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: the power of time, you know. And I'd be happy
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: to send you to one mate, And but you know,
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: all my resources are there, man, if anybody goes there,
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: it's always a good one. Just a quick download form.
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: But I appreciate you having me on brother, I want
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: to get you on mine and we've already titled your
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: podcast and that is the same conversation, different experience.
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, nice, do what I did there? Thanks Bro. Well,
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: we'll say goodbye affair, but for the moment, Dr rob
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: Bell appreciate you. You're a fucking superstar. Thank you.
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: Cheers mate,