Latest / The Shift Podcast / 25. Chronic Illness & Finding Strength
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to fight my datak, a podcast that helps bridge, the
- 0:03gap between healthcare workers and First Responders and
- 0:06everything in between. Hey everyone.
- 0:12We are winding down the summer and I don't know about you, but
- 0:14in California, it is hot. We've had multiple triple-digit
- 0:18days and I am just ready for the kids to go back to school and
- 0:21get back into the swing of things and for fall to come and
- 0:24it to cool down this week. I'm joined by one of my star
- 0:27clients been. He talks about how he's getting
- 0:30ready to start nursing school. Again, he talks about the
- 0:33failure that he faced the first time around, trying to pass it
- 0:36and failing out of it, and the emotions and experiences that
- 0:41Facebook that and the struggles that he faced with that.
- 0:43He talks about how he got over that and how he's also lives
- 0:46with a, chronic illness and the obstacles.
- 0:48He's faced with that and how he is moving towards his goal of
- 0:53eventually getting his RN, license getting his master's and
- 0:56going into flight nursing. So I hope you enjoy my interview
- 0:59with been this week. Hey then thanks for joining me
- 1:04today on the podcast. Good afternoon, Janessa, I'm
- 1:08happy to be here. All right, why don't we start
- 1:11out with you? Just introducing yourself and,
- 1:14you know, I want to just preface it for the listeners.
- 1:17The reason why I really wanted to have you on is because I
- 1:20really feel like you're one of my star clients who just has
- 1:23really taken all of our sessions and really made the most out of
- 1:28them for yourself. And I just seen a ton of growth
- 1:31in you and I'm sure we'll talk. That on the rest of the
- 1:34interview. But that is why I wanted to
- 1:37interview do today. So go ahead and just talk about
- 1:41yourself and introduce yourself. We'll start there.
- 1:43Well first of all thank you very much for all.
- 1:45Those kind words your time so far has been great and I hope it
- 1:51continues to be as productive as, as it's been.
- 1:54But anyway for everyone, I'm, my name is Benjamin Kelly.
- 1:58I live up here in Sullivan County, New York.
- 2:01I will be Starting. My first semester of nursing
- 2:04school in fall. I am a member of testing EMS.
- 2:10They are a volunteer agency here, in Harrisburg, New York.
- 2:15I am a, my primary responsibility with them is a
- 2:20driver. I'm working to go get my RN
- 2:27through a local community college and hopefully, we'll get
- 2:30my EMT and possibly my medical. Through the next couple of
- 2:34years. I threw doing EMS and going to
- 2:39nursing school. I hope to focus on emergency
- 2:42department and I see you work. I I found nursing to be a
- 2:52possible career path due to my past history and, you know, with
- 2:57future events or I should say current events.
- 3:01My future seems to be well, founded and hopefully goes as
- 3:06goes as well as plant. Yeah, great.
- 3:08And I want to just touch on, you know, you said with my past
- 3:12history, can you just explain that a little bit for people
- 3:15listening, like what that means and kind of what it's meant for
- 3:18you to go then? Around to go into it.
- 3:22Yes of course my is really my biggest thing with my history
- 3:27regarding nursing is. I actually have cerebral palsy
- 3:30up and down my left side which was caused by a level 3 brain.
- 3:37Bleed when I was 32 weeks old and my mom had preeclampsia when
- 3:44she had me and you know it caused a little bit of a rocky
- 3:48beginning but really Lee that Rocky was beginning really
- 3:52resulted in who I am today. You know, I was forced to work
- 3:57with, I would say about 60 percent at least in, I would say
- 4:05strengthen my right and my left, my left arm and about 50% of the
- 4:09dexterity. In my left hand, you know, in
- 4:12the past, 20 years of doing anything for manual labor, to
- 4:15going through school and eventually started a nursing
- 4:17program and in, in all that hard work, I realized that there's
- 4:26Although, sometimes I forget, but there's, I've realized that
- 4:29I can do anything. And this nerd, the nursing
- 4:35hopefully will will be the way that I can help people.
- 4:40Maybe not so much with just the condition I have, but at the
- 4:44worst times at their, you know, the worst times in their lives
- 4:48and so that they can move forward and be and realize that
- 4:51those those are just snapshots and Life will continue.
- 4:56Yeah, and we talked about it, it seemed like a lot when we first
- 4:59started meeting was, you know, just your limitations basically
- 5:04and how it may have affected nursing school the first time
- 5:08around for you. But I really feel like, you
- 5:11know, as we started talking, you realized that sometimes those
- 5:16physical limitations is really what has given you the mental
- 5:19strength. Now, to accomplish even more
- 5:21than you thought, you would have been able to Two.
- 5:24If you didn't have some of those limitations.
- 5:27No, I totally agree. I, you know, it's because of the
- 5:30fact that I'm, you know, I have chronic cerebral palsy.
- 5:33I forget that, you know, and so it just becomes really, really
- 5:37easy to overlook that as being. Obviously it's a it's a
- 5:44diagnosis. I will forever have, which
- 5:47causes me to forget that. That that like I said, it made
- 5:52me who I am hm-hm. Yeah.
- 5:55And what would you say to people?
- 5:56Because I think, You know what stops a lot of people is
- 6:00circumstances. So they like for example, they
- 6:04say like I'm too old or this is my third career or I've tried
- 6:08nursing school, I've tried to get in a couple times and I
- 6:11haven't so they like let circumstances similar to your
- 6:15circumstances of having a chronic disease.
- 6:18Really stop them from going forward.
- 6:20So what would you say to those people who have really kind of
- 6:22let that play out and those circumstances, prevent them from
- 6:27really moving forward. Like how, what are the things
- 6:30that have helped you kind of overcome that circumstance to
- 6:35move forward with what you want to do now?
- 6:40I think that for people that, either timing or third career,
- 6:47like you said, it's I wouldn't say certain chance that we all
- 6:54find nursing is something that maybe not a career, but even
- 6:57something that we think of, you know, it doesn't come out of
- 7:00thin air, you know anyone that That second guess is that, I
- 7:05hope that they've realized that. If that just randomly comes out
- 7:14of thin air and you go all the way through, you know, you're
- 7:19Etienne your BSN and for even further, I mean that's just a
- 7:23sign of it was meant to be and for me it's the same thing, you
- 7:27know? I In the past couple years I've
- 7:32gone anything from manual labor working for my father.
- 7:35As I contract, as a contractor, I've done BOCES programs to
- 7:40become an electricians. Apprentice, you know, doing the
- 7:45ambulance so I've always focused on something or not focused, but
- 7:49circumstance my circumstances, it's always come up that my job.
- 7:54My jobs aren't focused on using my brain.
- 7:58It's always Cool. And I almost think that that's
- 8:03not not by chance because Of what I of my condition.
- 8:09So, you know my my life has just been Conquering those things,
- 8:16you know, there's things in each, each one of those fields
- 8:20that I have and will continue to work on.
- 8:24So I think the biggest circumstance and biggest
- 8:31prevention from people, you know, being you know, like oh I
- 8:34can't go through nursing school. No, you it's all the decision to
- 8:39you know, it's all it's all going to be mad.
- 8:41So when it comes down to it, your body will do anything.
- 8:43You ask of it, the mind will break first.
- 8:46Yeah, well, the body will break first but the mine will cause it
- 8:50to break first. Yeah, because it with the mind,
- 8:54Push through more than the body can take. and, So if you make
- 9:01the decision to sign up for that nursing program, sign up to, you
- 9:06know, become a member of, you know, ambulance court, go do it
- 9:10because the worst that can that can happen is you decide not to
- 9:15continue. Yeah.
- 9:17And I love that you said that you know your condition was a
- 9:21physical thing and so you just kept putting physical things in
- 9:26your way so that you could overcome them.
- 9:28And every time you overcame them Realized like a little bit more
- 9:31that it's going to be possible. And that anything is possible
- 9:34for you if that makes sense. And I think that that's you know
- 9:39like you said has been the thing that's really helped you is that
- 9:42it's not by chance that those things those certifications.
- 9:46You you got all ended up being physical things that you
- 9:49overcame. Yeah.
- 9:51You know, it wasn't by chance that I ended up with a physical
- 9:54condition and I'm the only male in my family and it work I
- 9:59should say, I'm the only male offspring of my father hadn't
- 10:01yet. I'm one of his primary workers,
- 10:03so yeah, you can't think that's by chance.
- 10:06Yeah. Love that.
- 10:08Can we talk a little bit about kind of your journey?
- 10:11What you met me for and kind of what we've been working on, of
- 10:15course. So I graduated class 2020, from
- 10:21high school. I went to high to college having
- 10:26pretty sure that I was going to become a nurse.
- 10:28I so I started an in-depth kind of an indirect route of doing
- 10:33one year of prerequisites folk, only only prerequisite courses.
- 10:38I completed that with very high grades and everything, I then
- 10:45that summer so go with that prereqs.
- 10:49I was like, okay, well now I'm gonna go get my CPR
- 10:51certification because I knew that was going to be a
- 10:54requirement for the nursing program.
- 10:56So I went and did that, by the end of getting that
- 10:58certification. I actually became a member of
- 11:00Tustin, a loved it. Ever since Then follow that, you
- 11:08know, this past year, came around, I started my first
- 11:11semester of nursing school. I honestly I excelled in in
- 11:18clinical I did fairly well in lab.
- 11:23I ran into a lot of again setbacks with with my condition
- 11:28even between putting on donning and Doffing gloves to putting in
- 11:35full. He's but I was able to pass
- 11:39everything there. My my my biggest roadblock there
- 11:45was the with The didactic lecture portion of nursing
- 11:50program of the nursing program, which caused me to fail out,
- 11:56which I, I've accepted, and decided to go back for another
- 12:04attempt at my Etienne. And that's where I'm sitting
- 12:10right now. I'm sorry you.
- 12:13You asked me how I met you. So with all of that going on, I
- 12:18found this podcast. I really enjoyed it.
- 12:24I recommended it to a lot of my friends in the program.
- 12:29And I did and I think it was your second free.
- 12:34Consulting. Yeah, I think that's what it was
- 12:37the and it just clicked, you know, I thought that you guys
- 12:42well it was you and I think one of your other Medics that's why
- 12:47I say you guys. Your program seemed like it
- 12:50could really help and so far, it really has.
- 12:53And again, that's where I am now.
- 12:56Yeah, can you talk about like, because it was almost like the
- 13:01fourth or fifth session that we had.
- 13:04We started out really with you having a hard time.
- 13:10We like talk through some obstacles of you really facing
- 13:13failing out of the program and really dialing in what you think
- 13:18it was a Are you waiting it? And that was tough like to look
- 13:22at it and to evaluate it. And then the third, or fourth
- 13:25session, I offered to you, let's write a letter about your
- 13:29failure in it and all your feelings and then let's throw it
- 13:33away. And then tell me what you
- 13:35discovered after you wrote that letter and you burned it, I
- 13:37think you've earned it or you threw it away because that's
- 13:39what that was a really pivotal moment for you.
- 13:43But you had me write this letter, you know, really being
- 13:49critical of what caused me. Yeah, to have the result in
- 13:53lecture that I did and, you know, it really helped with the
- 13:57realization. That my biggest problem was was
- 14:01myself but yet, My biggest asset, you know as I've proven
- 14:08in life. So far is myself and I actually
- 14:12did burn that letter, you know, as a way of saying that you know
- 14:18that might still be a part of me but that's not.
- 14:22That's not me when it comes to nursing school and my nursing
- 14:25career. I, I'm full as I'm not only
- 14:31full, heartedly, believe a believer in the fact that I will
- 14:34become an RN and even possibly get my MSN and hopefully, I'll
- 14:38become a flight nurse. But I I know that I've chosen
- 14:44the right path and that I'm ready and willing to do
- 14:48anything. It takes to to get my RN It?
- 14:52No matter the, no matter the obstacles.
- 14:55Yeah and now looking at it like getting ready because you're
- 14:58getting ready to start first semester again and this new
- 15:00program like how are you feeling now going into it?
- 15:05I'm I'm very excited. I would start tomorrow if I
- 15:13could, I I'm going back to the same program I was in but yet
- 15:18it's like going through with it completely different
- 15:22perspective. Not even the fact that I'm like,
- 15:23okay, well I know what I should expect for a semester and I
- 15:26know, I know, I know of a few people that Went to a different
- 15:31programs and came there, you know?
- 15:35And I looked at them like, oh, they should have no problem with
- 15:37this that and they had the same struggles, I did.
- 15:39So it's all a matter of just trusting yourself and your your
- 15:43desire and and pushing through. I'm sure that anybody listening
- 15:51and yourself Janessa that your everybody has.
- 15:55Maybe they got have a kid at home, maybe they have, you know,
- 15:57have that they have to work. They stay that you know it you
- 16:01guys can you guys and myself will be able to Not only.
- 16:09I think that will will show our that.
- 16:14Those roadblocks and I don't mean to call y'all's kids
- 16:18roadblock. So those those things that make
- 16:22the schooling a little bit more difficult.
- 16:26Are really going to show to be. Also your biggest motivation,
- 16:30you know, your biggest motivation to move on to another
- 16:32career. Your biggest motivation be like,
- 16:34you know, I just graduated with my RN with it with 12 or
- 16:39multiple child most children. So, yeah.
- 16:42And I think also, you know, definitely the big part of it is
- 16:47mindset. And when we first met it, a lot
- 16:51of it was past focused, which I think all of us do, right?
- 16:55It was like, well, I failed in the past and I don't want to
- 16:59repeat the past and so you were looking at this determination of
- 17:02how well you were going to do this second time around to your
- 17:05past experience. But really where you shifted now
- 17:08is we are not only just looking at the present but we're
- 17:11shifting towards the future. Like what has been want to do in
- 17:15the future? How are we going to get there?
- 17:16And what steps do we need to take?
- 17:17Now, to get you there? And I don't know how that's been
- 17:21for you for that ship to, not be so past focused anymore, but to
- 17:25now really be in the present and looking at the future as far as
- 17:28other things that were looking at, as far as student
- 17:30externships and stuff like that to, how has that mindset of now,
- 17:34you looking future? Focus kind of helped you get to
- 17:37where you want to be mentally too.
- 17:42It's definitely really helped with my confidence towards
- 17:46anything that I'm doing in my day-to-day to looking at my
- 17:49future. like I said, my biggest issue was the lecture and yet
- 17:56I'm I'm looking at it as, in a way of well, I've passed all
- 18:02these prereqs like I said, and what's the difference between A
- 18:07reading based prerequisite. Verses are reading base class in
- 18:14nursing school and I just got to view it, not only with the the
- 18:17same. Level of difficulty because it
- 18:25might be easier, might be harder.
- 18:27But yet I'm going to view it with the same success rate, you
- 18:29know. I'm going to pass it with with
- 18:32flying colors. Yeah, you know.
- 18:35So I think, looking at the future, you know, one one day,
- 18:40one year, 11 decade down the road is really helping me as
- 18:46long as you don't fixate on it and just for, you know, get out
- 18:49of prison. it's really helping me a stay motivated, but also
- 18:56stay excited for For those 10 years, those 20 years.
- 19:03Yeah. What would you say to people who
- 19:06know? A lot of people haven't had
- 19:09exposure to coaching, or don't really know what it is.
- 19:12What would you say to? Those people?
- 19:15Who maybe don't have an understanding of it, but can you
- 19:18talk about? I guess what it has done for
- 19:21you. yeah, I've never had any type of Coaching or even really
- 19:32direct like Outsource therapy in my life do.
- 19:36I it's definitely been a different type of experience but
- 19:41in no matter if it's something that you talk about, or well,
- 19:47yeah, really something that you talk about or that you feel
- 19:53like, after the meeting you're like, wow, I should have just
- 19:56thought of that on my own, but then you realize and I know I've
- 20:02definitely have you realized that those really simple things
- 20:09are going to be your biggest AIDS in some of the smaller and
- 20:15some of the bigger hurdles that you go through.
- 20:19You know, I there's times that what I talked about a week ago
- 20:22with Janessa will come up, you know, while I'm at work.
- 20:25And I'm like, huh. All right, I can go, I can I can
- 20:28figure this out. I faced harder and it just helps
- 20:34throughout the day. So coaching for me is Ben.
- 20:40An interesting way of. Helping making sure like all my
- 20:46ducks are in a row with going with each step of, not only the
- 20:52program but my life and feeling more, confident about all
- 20:55aspects of what nursing school. Nursing school.
- 21:03Requires of you. I, you know, it's somewhat as
- 21:07someone that did go through the first semester, although not
- 21:10successful. I know how much it takes out of
- 21:12you, you know. And trust me, when I tell you
- 21:14guys when everybody is like, you know, Strains relationships.
- 21:21It does it can. But that doesn't mean you have
- 21:25to destroy each part of your life to be successful.
- 21:28I think that the coaching has shown that.
- 21:32If done properly, you can have relationships with family.
- 21:38The girlfriend a boyfriend. Your classmates and still be
- 21:44really successful at all those without feeling drained.
- 21:48Yeah, big things that I've noticed from you choose in our
- 21:51time of working together. Is that your confidence level
- 21:54has definitely increased in every aspect of your life
- 21:57personally and professionally and what you're doing that has
- 22:02increased. And I think that you have also
- 22:04found, you know, even though we've really specifically spent
- 22:07a lot of time talking about nursing school, it really has
- 22:09trickled into other aspects of your life and Think that you've
- 22:12been able to take some of that confidence and apply that in
- 22:15other areas, like you were just talking about.
- 22:17And so that's the huge, you know, big difference that I have
- 22:21seen in you in our time together.
- 22:23Yeah. No, it's definitely amazed me.
- 22:25How much it's trickled? Into other aspects of my life.
- 22:31Yeah. And I have no doubt and then
- 22:33full belief that you're going to do well, you know, in nursing
- 22:35school this time is going to be the time that you're going to
- 22:38pass it and you're going to move forward and onward to the bigger
- 22:40things that you want to accomplish like your Masters and
- 22:42eventually going into play nursing to.
- 22:44So I think you got a lot of stuff going for you and I'm just
- 22:49like so happy to be able to be a part of this process with you
- 22:53and just have seen a huge change in you and in the small amount
- 22:56of time that we've been working together.
- 22:59Well again, thank you that I am very grateful for your help and
- 23:05your in very grateful for your your input and confidence in me.
- 23:11I I think it's definitely helped.
- 23:18Preventing any anxiety and really helping with staying as
- 23:23excited as I am for starting this journey again.
- 23:27Yeah. Yeah, last question for you then
- 23:31what is like the biggest piece of advice that you've maybe
- 23:34gotten from someone along the way.
- 23:36That's really kind of helped you and you've held onto to get you
- 23:40to, you know, where you are today, with all the things that
- 23:43you've had to overcome, all the obstacles that you face is
- 23:46there. One thing that Stands out for
- 23:49you. That someone's told you or that
- 23:51you carry with you, that kind of helps you through that.
- 23:54Um, you know, I think for me, you know, like I said, you know,
- 23:58as someone with a physical impairment knowing how strong
- 24:05the mind can be. I think the biggest thing that
- 24:09I've learned and had kind of told to me over and over again,
- 24:15would have to be more really of the way that I guess like
- 24:22Special Forces. Training kind of has to be
- 24:28viewed and and that would be never quit no matter how hard it
- 24:32gets never quit. And for me, that that's that has
- 24:37and will continue to be to be a mindset of mine.
- 24:42You know. I'm going to repeat something
- 24:44that Is very hard and yet, I'm my plan is to not only not quit,
- 24:52but hopefully. I have the mindset now that I
- 24:56could possibly graduate near the top of my class.
- 24:59Yeah, yeah. I'm in full belief of that 24.
- 25:03You been. I think you're definitely
- 25:04capable of that and I look forward to continuing to work
- 25:08together and I look forward to seeing you start nursing school
- 25:11because it's going to be starting here soon in the next
- 25:13couple weeks, right? Yeah, my dates are right.
- 25:17I think it's Timber. Seventh.
- 25:19It starts up again. Yeah.
- 25:21And you're going to have so much to offer the program to just
- 25:24with your poem. With knowledge and you know
- 25:26everything I think as who you are as a person.
- 25:28So I love the thought that you said that you were the biggest
- 25:32obstacle in your way but you are also the biggest asset for
- 25:35yourself too. So I appreciate you mentioning
- 25:38that. Yeah you know and like you said
- 25:40you know any any past experience that you have going in a nursing
- 25:44school. No matter if it's completely.
- 25:48unrelated or you know, in a in my case you know, EMS, anything
- 25:54you see, or anything that you learn is you'll see that Nursing
- 26:00school has a way of making. Any foundation that you have in
- 26:06something else really stem out and an aide and age you in
- 26:10school. I know for me, you know, my
- 26:13knowledge of maybe not so much my knowledge, but my my count,
- 26:18my confidence, talking to people and patient, interactions,
- 26:23really was the reason I had so much success in clinical.
- 26:27And, and I'm hoping now that with Amor procedure based
- 26:35knowledge. I'll be able to really expand
- 26:38expand my Aid, you know, to my fellow students and go back to
- 26:42my ambulance Corps and be like, hey, you know, and maybe you
- 26:45guys can Aid me with this so that I can go take it back and
- 26:50help my other EMTs. And, and again, and again, help
- 26:54my fellow students because we're all in it together.
- 26:56And I think we all deserve, you know, we're all meant to be in a
- 27:00class together, you know, we're all Help each other.
- 27:03Yeah I love that and I just really appreciate you being on
- 27:07this week because I think it is going to help a lot of people
- 27:10who feel who have similar situations as you or who have
- 27:14circumstances that are kind of standing in their way.
- 27:16Like I love the thought, just never quit, just keep going,
- 27:20never quit. Yeah, no II because if you quit
- 27:26then you never know. If you never know.
- 27:27If you could if you could finish your goal or how far you could
- 27:31really truly get Yeah, well thanks for being on Ben.
- 27:34I am looking forward to continuing to work together and
- 27:37I'm looking forward to see you Excel this whole first month and
- 27:41nursing school. Yeah.
- 27:43Thank you so much for your your help Janessa.
- 27:46I really really appreciate your time and offering to have me on
- 27:51really what is proven to be a wonderful podcast.
- 27:54I I hope this does help, you know, one or two people in their
- 27:58journey and everyone that's listening.
- 28:00Good luck with everything that you you hope to achieve In the,
- 28:03the near and far future. Thanks Ben.
- 28:06Thanks for being on this week. I really appreciate.
- 28:08Welcome. Thank you so much.
- 28:10All right. Bye-bye.
- 28:14If anything Sparks your interest from this interview this week
- 28:16and you want to find out a little bit more about coaching
- 28:19and how to work with me, go ahead and catch me on Instagram
- 28:22and you can find my link to book a friend console and we can talk
- 28:26about what working together would look like.
- 28:28And thanks for joining me this week and I will talk to you guys
- 28:30soon. Bye.