Latest / If You Please, Himan Brown’s Radio Mystery Theater / S1E1: The Old Ones Are Hard to Kill

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S1E1: The Old Ones Are Hard to Kill · If You Please, Himan Brown’s Radio Mystery Theater

0:00
>> Visionary radio producer Himan Brown
0:02
left a legacy in sound,
0:04
creating over 10,000 programs in his lifetime
0:07
with a vigor and intensity
0:08
that kept him going for close to a century.
0:10
His life and prodigious output
0:12
are celebrated in the podcast series Audio Maverick.
0:16
Now, we offer rebroadcasts of a select group of Brown's programs
0:21
in a new series called "If You Please...
0:23
Himan Brown's Radio Mystery Theater."
0:26
I'm your host, Margot Avery.
0:28
Brown flourished during the Golden Age of radio,
0:31
the period between the late 1920s and the 1940s,
0:35
during which radio was
0:36
the dominant entertainment medium in the country.
0:39
But he was especially proud of his inventive reimagining
0:43
of radio drama for contemporary times,
0:46
The CBS Radio Mystery Theater series,
0:49
which ran from 1974 to 1982.
0:53
Our new series offers some of these exciting works again.
0:57
Brown was raised in the Brownsville section of Brooklyn
1:00
in the early 20th century by Russian Jewish parents,
1:04
and his speech retained a rich hint of an earlier world
1:07
and a kind of courtliness.
1:09
He would often introduce an idea, a joke,
1:12
or an anecdote with the phrase "if you please."
1:15
So that's what we've named this series,
1:17
which offers, again, Brown's greatest gift to us --
1:20
something to listen to.
1:23
Coming up, season one of If You Please.
1:25
Each of our 13 programs will be introduced by editor
1:29
and former communications director John Slaveney.
1:32
He's writing the definitive guide
1:34
to the CBS Radio Mystery Theater programs
1:36
and will share details about the original series.
1:40
You'll hear about the writers, the actors,
1:42
and the original host,
1:44
the distinguished actor E.G. Marshall.
1:46
And Slavney will let you in on the origin stories
1:49
of some very strange plots.
1:51
If You Please is produced in loving memory
1:53
of Robert Isaacson.
1:55
Listen.
1:56
♪♪
2:02
>> Hi, everyone. I'm John Slaveney.
2:05
I've been a fan of Himan Brown's CBS Radio Mystery Theater
2:08
for many years,
2:10
and now I'm putting together a complete new guide
2:11
to this groundbreaking series.
2:14
We thought listeners new to the RMT
2:16
might like to know a little bit more about the show,
2:19
and about each of the episodes we're rebroadcasting here.
2:23
The debut episode of the CBS Radio Mystery Theater
2:26
aired on Sunday evening, January 6, 1974.
2:31
Brown had spent many years persuading the network
2:34
that radio was not dead, and as we'll see,
2:36
he was proved right, as the series quickly achieved
2:39
both commercial and cultural success.
2:42
By late summer 1974,
2:44
the RMT was recognized by critics
2:46
as sparking a radio renaissance,
2:48
prompting competitors like NPR
2:50
and the Mutual Broadcasting Network
2:53
to roll out their own dramatic programming.
2:56
As ratings quadrupled and advertising revenue rolled in,
2:59
skeptics were forced to reconsider
3:01
their initial reactions,
3:03
ultimately acknowledging Himan Brown's project
3:05
as an audio monster
3:07
that had somehow resurrected a dormant art form.
3:10
But this was only the beginning.
3:12
Over the next nine years, Brown would produce
3:14
close to 1,400 episodes of the RMT,
3:17
and we'll be sharing many of those episodes with you here.
3:20
For the first broadcast, Brown selected
3:22
The Old Ones Are Hard to Kill,
3:24
a murder mystery starring Agnes Moorehead.
3:27
By featuring Moorehead,
3:29
Brown likely sought to leverage her status
3:31
as a prestige theatrical talent
3:33
and an actor fondly remembered by radio fans.
3:36
She was especially revered
3:38
for her performance in Lucille Fletcher's
3:39
legendary radio play
3:41
Sorry, Wrong Number, from 1943.
3:45
The script for The Old Ones was written by Henry Slesar,
3:48
adapted from his short story,
3:50
originally published in Mike Shayne's Mystery Magazine.
3:54
And now, here's The Old Ones Are Hard to Kill.
4:00
>> And now, Mystery Theater.
4:03
[ Banging, rattling ]
4:04
[ Loud creaking ]
4:11
♪♪
4:19
>> Come in.
4:22
Welcome.
4:24
I am E.G. Marshall.
4:26
Welcome to the sound of suspense.
4:29
Welcome to the fear you can hear.
4:33
But mostly, to the world of terrifying imagination.
4:39
In the story you're about to hear,
4:41
the heroine is a young woman of 77
4:45
who has reached her golden years
4:47
with her sense of independence intact,
4:49
with a spryness to her limbs,
4:51
very good vision, and excellent hearing.
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But as you are about to learn,
4:57
there are times when hearing well
5:00
is not a blessing.
5:02
>> [ Wheezing ] I did it, Mrs. Canby.
5:04
Are you listening to me?
5:06
I killed Richardson. >> Oh!
5:09
>> I did it. Me.
5:11
>> No, no, no. I don't want to hear it.
5:15
Mr. Paulson, please, please don't tell me about it.
5:18
[ Crying ] Please!
5:20
♪♪
5:27
>> Our mystery drama, The Old Ones Are Hard to Kill,
5:31
was written especially for the Mystery Theater by Henry Slesar
5:35
and stars Agnes Moorehead.
5:37
I'll be back shortly with act one.
5:42
♪♪
5:47
♪♪
5:53
And now here's act one of The Old Ones Are Hard to Kill.
5:58
It begins with a stethoscope, a blood pressure reading,
6:04
an electrocardiogram,
6:06
and an altogether satisfying report
6:08
on the health of Mrs. Ada Canby.
6:11
>> Hmm.
6:12
Well, can't see a thing to complain about, Ada.
6:15
That little congestion you had last time is all cleared up.
6:18
All in all, I'd say you're doing fine.
6:20
>> For a woman my age, you mean.
6:22
>> [ Both laugh ]
6:23
>> The older the chicken,
6:25
the tougher it is to kill. [ Chuckles ]
6:27
That's what my grandmother used to tell me,
6:29
and she lived to be 98.
6:32
Speaking of relatives, you, uh, see much of Walter?
6:35
>> My grandson?
6:36
Oh, the usual once-a-year visit.
6:39
And he always comes up with the same complaint.
6:41
>> What's that?
6:42
>> That I shouldn't be living all alone.
6:44
>> Oh, that big house of yours
6:46
must get pretty lonely sometimes.
6:48
>> Well, the truth is, Dr. George,
6:51
I'm not alone there. >> You're not?
6:53
>> I decided to take in a boarder last month.
6:56
>> Really?
6:57
>> I haven't written Walter about it.
6:59
I'm sure he'd object to my taking in a stranger,
7:01
but there's really nothing wrong with Mr. Paulson,
7:05
except his health, maybe.
7:07
>> His health? What's wrong with him?
7:10
>> Oh, the poor man's had a terrible cold
7:12
for the past two weeks.
7:14
Won't let me do a thing for him, though.
7:16
>> Now, where did you meet this Mr. Paulson?
7:19
>> He answered the ad I ran.
7:21
He's just back from South America.
7:24
Been living in Brazil for years.
7:26
He's a very nice gentleman, really.
7:28
He keeps to himself and tends his birds.
7:32
He has the loveliest blue parakeets.
7:35
You can hear them chirping all over the house.
7:37
Oh, it's the friendliest sound.
7:40
>> Well, I, uh...
7:41
I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing, Ada.
7:44
Just make sure you don't go and catch the man's cold.
7:47
>> There's not much chance of that.
7:49
Poor man hardly ever leaves his room.
7:53
Well, how much do I owe you?
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>> I'll send you the bill.
7:56
>> I'm sure you'll forget all about it.
7:59
Promise me you'll send it.
8:01
♪♪
8:08
[ Birds chirping ]
8:09
>> [ Coughing ]
8:11
>> Oh, dear.
8:13
[ Knock on door ]
8:15
Mr. Paulson?
8:17
[ Knocking continues ]
8:19
Are you all right?
8:20
>> Yes, Mrs. Canby, I'm all right.
8:24
>> That cough sounds worse than ever to me.
8:27
Why don't you let me fix you a little hot milk and honey?
8:30
>> No, thank you, Mrs. Canby.
8:32
Thanks very much.
8:34
I'm going to try to get some sleep.
8:36
>> Well, all right, if you say so.
8:40
I guess it's time I was in bed myself.
8:43
♪♪
8:49
>> [ Coughing ]
8:51
>> Oh, my. Listen to that poor man.
8:56
I wonder if he keeps his birds awake, too.
8:58
>> Mrs. Canby, please! Please!
9:01
>> For heaven's sake! Is he...
9:03
Is he calling me? >> Mrs. Canby!
9:05
>> He is calling me. I'm coming, Mr. Paulson.
9:09
Oh, no.
9:11
Where are those darn slippers?
9:13
I'll be right there!
9:17
What? What is it, Mr. Paulson? What's the matter?
9:21
>> [Weakly] Mrs. Canby...
9:22
>> Mr. Paulson! Just look at you!
9:27
Why didn't you tell me you were so sick?
9:29
I would have called a doctor.
9:31
>> No, no. Too late now. Too late.
9:33
>> I know a very good doctor.
9:35
I saw him only this afternoon.
9:38
Uh, I'll go and call him right now.
9:40
>> No, please, listen to me.
9:42
>> Well, I've got to get help for you, Mr. Paulson.
9:44
>> Dying! I'm dying.
9:46
Confession. >> D-Do you want a priest?
9:49
Is that what you want?
9:51
>> Richardson. Murdered ten years ago.
9:55
>> What?! >> Murder!
9:56
I did it. I killed him for money.
9:59
I was paid.
10:00
Did you hear me? >> Oh, Lord.
10:03
Mr. Paulson, do you know what you're saying?
10:06
>> Do you understand me?
10:08
Lindell is innocent.
10:11
I killed Richardson, not Lindell.
10:14
>> Let me get help, and you can tell them yourself,
10:17
Mr. Paulson, the police and the doctor.
10:20
>> You tell them, please.
10:22
Tell them to free Lindell. He's innocent.
10:24
Tell them I'm the one who killed Richardson ten years ago.
10:28
>> Oh, I don't know anything about such things,
10:31
and I don't want to.
10:33
>> I did it! I killed Richardson. I did it.
10:36
>> I don't -- I don't want to hear it.
10:38
I don't. Please don't tell me about it.
10:40
Please, Mr. Paulson, I...
10:41
>> [ Exhales deeply ] >> [ Birds singing ]
10:43
Mr. Paulson?
10:46
Oh, dear God, I...
10:48
I think he's gone.
10:50
♪♪
10:57
[ Birds chirping ]
10:58
Listen to those poor little birdies.
11:01
I suppose they miss poor Mr. Paulson.
11:05
I'll lay them in his room.
11:08
Well, let's see about this letter now.
11:12
"Dear Walter,
11:14
I hope you don't mind my turning to you for advice,
11:17
but I really don't know what to do.
11:19
It's been three days since my boarder,
11:21
Mr. Paulson, passed away,
11:23
and I still haven't told the police what the man said to me.
11:27
I just can't bring myself to get mixed up in anything like this."
11:32
Oh, dear. What's the use of writing Walter?
11:35
He'll probably think I've dreamed it all up.
11:39
No, I'll just forget it.
11:41
[ Paper tearing ]
11:43
Only, how do you forget such a thing?
11:46
Those names. I keep hearing them.
11:48
Richardson. Lindell.
11:50
Lindell is innocent.
11:52
Oh, dear God, what if it's all true?
11:56
If Mr. Paulson actually murdered this Richardson
11:59
and Lindell is innocent.
12:02
Only...
12:03
Well, who are they?
12:05
I wonder if the telephone book...
12:07
Well... Well, why not?
12:10
Let's see. Richardson. Richard...
12:13
All right. C-H-A-R... Yes, here it is.
12:16
Oh, Lord. There's dozens of them.
12:19
Well, I'll try Lindell.
12:21
That wouldn't be as common, I don't suppose.
12:24
Yes, yes, here it is.
12:26
There's only about half a dozen.
12:27
L-I-N-D-E-L-L.
12:30
Oh!
12:31
Oh, my heavens! Lindell and Richardson.
12:35
Both names together.
12:37
Lindell and Richardson Investments.
12:39
Nine concourse 415-3132.
12:44
I wonder if...
12:46
Well, maybe...
12:48
Maybe it's the only way to be sure.
12:50
[ Telephone dialing ]
12:53
♪♪
13:00
[ Line ringing ]
13:07
Oh, hello. May I speak to a Mr. Lindell?
13:14
He isn't?
13:15
Well, then, what about Mr. Richardson?
13:20
Oh, I see.
13:21
Well, is there someone there I can speak to?
13:26
Yes. Yes, please. Thank you.
13:30
>> Hello. This is Mr. Shelton.
13:32
May I be of service?
13:34
>> Well, maybe you can.
13:35
I want to know about your Mr. Richardson.
13:37
About when he died.
13:39
I think I did business with him once, a long time ago.
13:43
>> Well, it's ten years, madam. Just about.
13:45
But if you're interested in investment advice...
13:49
>> Well, I'll think about it. Thank you very much.
13:51
[ Receiver clicks ]
13:52
Ten years.
13:54
Well, it could be a coincidence.
13:58
I guess it all depends on how he died.
14:00
♪♪
14:07
>> Well, Mrs. Canby, please come in.
14:09
Have a seat. >> Thank you.
14:11
>> Well, now. How can we be of help to you?
14:14
>> Well, I didn't come here to get help, Mr. Shelton.
14:17
I came to help you, as a matter of fact.
14:20
Or rather, somebody you know.
14:23
>> Who would that be?
14:25
>> A Mr. John Lindell,
14:27
the man who was supposed to have murdered Mr. Richardson.
14:30
>> I'm afraid I'm not following you.
14:32
>> Well, it took me all week to find out what happened
14:34
to those two men, and finally I found the story
14:37
in the old newspaper room
14:39
down at the library about Mr. Lindell
14:41
being indicted for killing his partner.
14:44
But I'm sure you know the whole story a lot better than I do.
14:48
>> Well, of course I know the story,
14:49
but that was quite a long time ago, Mrs. Canby.
14:53
>> Ten years doesn't seem so long when you're my age.
14:58
Anyway, the point is that I can help your Mr. Lindell.
15:02
Only I can't do it alone.
15:04
>> Did you know John Lindell? >> No, no, I didn't.
15:08
Nor Mr. Richardson, for that matter.
15:10
The man I knew was named Paulson.
15:13
>> Who?
15:14
>> I rented a room to Mr. Paulson,
15:16
and he died about eight days ago of pneumonia.
15:19
I was there when it happened.
15:21
>> Well, that's unfortunate, but...
15:23
>> Before he died, Mr. Paulson told me
15:25
something about Mr. Richardson's murder.
15:28
He said Mr. Lindell hadn't been responsible,
15:32
that he, Mr. Paulson, had committed it,
15:35
for money.
15:37
>> [ Sighs ] Mrs. Canby. Listen to me.
15:40
>> It was this man, Lindell, that bothered him.
15:43
The fact that he was in prison for something he didn't do.
15:46
I thought I should tell you this, Mr. Shelton,
15:48
because you knew both of these gentlemen.
15:52
It said so in the newspaper.
15:54
>> Mrs. Canby, my... my dear woman...
15:58
>> What?
16:00
>> I don't know what silly story you heard,
16:03
but it's completely wrong.
16:06
There wasn't any question about what happened.
16:09
This boarder of yours, whatever his name is,
16:11
merely had an obsession.
16:13
>> Well, just the same,
16:14
I thought you could follow through on this business.
16:17
Yeah, tell the police.
16:19
Because if it is true, Mr. Lindell should be freed.
16:23
>> On evidence like that?
16:25
>> Well, I don't know anything about evidence.
16:28
I'm just telling you what I heard.
16:31
Oh, well, never mind.
16:33
I suppose I should have told the police myself.
16:36
>> Wait, wait, Mrs. Canby, let me put your mind at rest.
16:41
John Lindell is no longer in prison.
16:45
>> He isn't?
16:46
>> He's dead, Mrs. Canby. He's been dead
16:48
for the last three years. >> Dead? Oh!
16:50
>> He wasn't a young man when all this happened.
16:53
When he accused his partner, Fred Richardson,
16:55
of defrauding him and shot him dead.
16:58
>> He died in prison?
17:01
>> Even if all you say is true,
17:02
that this man was Richardson's murderer,
17:05
you can't help John Lindell any longer.
17:08
He's beyond that.
17:09
>> But his name.
17:10
Don't you want to clear his name?
17:12
>> Have you any proof? Any living witness?
17:15
>> Just myself.
17:17
>> Forget it, Mrs. Canby. That's my advice to you.
17:21
The old wound is healed. Don't reopen it.
17:25
>> Oh, well, it troubles me so.
17:28
I haven't thought of anything else since it happened.
17:32
Perhaps if I saw a minister,
17:35
if I had some advice from a man of God...
17:38
>> Mrs. Canby, now you've said something.
17:41
Now you've shown me the way.
17:44
That's where our answer lies, dear woman, in prayer,
17:47
in the forgiveness of our dear Lord.
17:50
Will you pray with me, Mrs. Canby?
17:52
>> Pray? Here?
17:54
>> Why not? God is everywhere.
17:57
Please, join me.
18:00
Dear Lord,
18:02
tell us what to do.
18:04
Give us your divine guidance.
18:07
Show us the path to righteousness.
18:08
>> Mr. Shelton, I... >> Help us, O Lord.
18:11
Help us to understand.
18:13
Teach us to forgive the sins of others and to forget them.
18:17
To forget.
18:19
There.
18:21
I feel much better now, Mrs. Canby.
18:23
Do you?
18:24
>> Well, I'm not sure.
18:27
>> Let us turn this matter over to God, Mrs. Canby.
18:30
Not to the police, but to the Lord.
18:32
It's in his hands now. Don't you agree?
18:36
>> Well, in a way, that's true.
18:39
Since they're dead now.
18:42
All of them.
18:43
♪♪
18:47
[ Doorbell ringing ]
18:51
[ Door opens ]
18:53
>> Yes? >> Er, Mrs. Canby?
18:55
>> Yes.
18:57
>> My name's Stuart Winfield, Mrs. Canby.
19:00
I understand you have a room for rent.
19:01
>> Yes, yes. Yes, I do. >> Well, I'm new in town.
19:05
I just arrived from Philadelphia.
19:06
I've been staying at a hotel, but I'd like something homier.
19:10
>> Well, the room I have is $35 a week.
19:13
I can't offer you any meals,
19:15
but you can use the kitchen all you want.
19:17
>> Well, that sounds good to me.
19:19
>> Would, uh, would you like to see the room?
19:21
>> Yes, ma'am, I sure would. >> Well, come on in, then.
19:24
>> Thank you.
19:27
>> By the way, how did you know
19:30
I had a room for rent? >> Hm?
19:31
>> I was going to place an ad this weekend.
19:33
>> Oh, I, uh, I guess someone at the hotel mentioned it.
19:37
I forget just who.
19:39
Say, this is a real fine old house, Mrs. Canby.
19:42
>> Mm-hmm. >> I can see that I'm going to
19:44
like this place just fine.
19:47
♪♪
19:53
>> And so Mrs. Canby has a new boarder.
19:56
He's a very personable young man
19:59
with a great deal more charm than old Mr. Paulson had.
20:03
Perhaps in a little while,
20:05
Mrs. Canby will be able to forget her former boarder
20:09
and the shocking confession he made on his deathbed.
20:13
I'll be back shortly with act two.
20:15
>> Welcome to If You Please...
20:16
Himan Brown's Radio Mystery theater.
20:18
Like what you're hearing so far?
20:20
Are you curious about the history behind radio programs
20:23
just like this one
20:24
and the dramatic genius who created them?
20:27
In the nine-part, award-winning documentary Audio Maverick,
20:30
we explore the golden age of radio
20:33
through the life of Himan Brown.
20:35
You'll hear the history of radio come to life as we travel
20:38
from the birth of audio drama to the programs
20:41
that brought millions of families
20:42
into their living rooms every night.
20:44
Audio Maverick is available anywhere you get your podcasts.
20:51
♪♪
20:56
♪♪
21:01
>> Stu Winfield took no time at all to make himself at home
21:05
in Ada Canby's big old house.
21:08
He loved everything about his room --
21:10
the fine old four-poster bed,
21:13
the crazy quilt that Ada herself had sewn up 40 years ago,
21:17
the lace curtains on the window.
21:20
He even loved Mr. Paulson's blue parakeets.
21:24
But what he really seemed to like best
21:26
was Mrs. Canby herself.
21:28
[ Birds chirping ]
21:30
>> Just take me two minutes
21:31
to get these clean sheets on the bed, Mr. Winfield.
21:34
>> Here, let me give you a hand. >> No, no, no, I can manage.
21:37
I've been making this bed for almost 50 years.
21:39
>> 50?
21:40
You've lived in this house that long?
21:42
>> Moved in here when I got married back in 1919.
21:46
My husband, David, bought it for us.
21:48
Our only son, Ralph, was born in it.
21:51
>> And you've lost them both? >> Yes. They're both dead.
21:53
But I haven't lost them.
21:55
>> Oh, yes. Yes, I understand, Mrs. Canby.
21:59
I guess I feel that way about my mom.
22:01
>> Your mother's dead?
22:03
>> Yes. She died when I was two.
22:05
>> Oh, listen, Mr. Winfield,
22:06
are you sure you want these birds in your room?
22:10
I could take them to the parlor if you want.
22:12
>> No, no, I think they're great.
22:14
I think everything's great about this house.
22:17
But there is something you can do for me.
22:19
>> What's that?
22:21
>> Would you mind not calling me Mr. Winfield?
22:23
That's what they call my father.
22:25
My name's Stuart.
22:27
>> Well, well. All right. Stuart.
22:29
♪♪
22:35
"Dear Walter, I think it's about time I told you
22:38
that I have a boarder in the house.
22:40
Mr. Winfield is the nicest young man you could want to meet.
22:45
He's a great deal friendlier
22:46
than my first gentleman, Mr. Paulson.
22:48
And he seems to like nothing better
22:49
than to sit around evenings and talk.
22:52
We talk about his home and his parents
22:54
and his plans for the future.
22:57
I think the poor boy misses his home and family,
23:00
and I'm sort of a substitute for all that."
23:03
[ Flatware clinking ]
23:05
>> Mmm.
23:07
You know, it isn't really fair, Mrs. Canby.
23:10
You said I had kitchen privileges,
23:12
but that doesn't mean you have to cook for me.
23:14
>> It's a pleasure, Stuart.
23:16
I haven't had anyone to cook for in years.
23:18
>> You're kidding.
23:20
You mean to say you cook this good without practice?
23:22
>> Oh, you're just being nice.
23:24
I'm sure that stew is just plain ordinary.
23:28
>> It's terrific. No kidding. It tastes like...
23:31
Well, it tastes like home, if you know what I mean.
23:34
>> Well, it depends on whose home you mean.
23:37
>> Well, my mom cooked stews like this.
23:39
That's what I meant.
23:40
>> Your mom? >> Mm.
23:41
But if she died when you were only two...
23:44
>> Oh. Well, I guess I didn't mean my mom, exactly.
23:48
I... I was thinking of my Aunt Martha.
23:50
I mean, she's the one
23:52
who sort of took over the cooking and stuff
23:54
after my mother died.
23:55
My father's sister, you know.
23:56
>> I see.
23:59
Well, that was lucky that you had someone to take her place.
24:01
>> Yeah. That's right. [ Sneezes ]
24:03
Excuse me.
24:04
>> Oh, my, Stuart.
24:06
You're not coming down with anything, are you?
24:07
>> No, no. I'm fine.
24:09
Just a little case of the sniffles.
24:11
>> Listen, if your room isn't warm enough, I have an extra...
24:13
>> No, no, the room's just fine.
24:14
Don't worry about it.
24:16
>> Oh, you be sure now.
24:18
I know I felt a little guilty about poor Mr. Paulson
24:20
when he got sick.
24:22
I thought maybe I didn't take good care of him.
24:24
>> Er, Paulson? >> Mm-hmm.
24:26
>> Was that your former boarder?
24:28
The... The bird lover? >> Yes. Yes, that was his name.
24:30
The poor man.
24:32
>> Well, tell me about him.
24:34
>> Well, I don't really know that much about him.
24:37
He lived here less than two months.
24:39
>> What sort of a guy was he?
24:41
>> Well, very quiet. He kept to himself.
24:44
>> Did you say he was from South America?
24:46
>> I don't remember if I did or not.
24:48
>> Well, you must have said it.
24:51
>> Yes, yes, of course.
24:53
He was American, but he'd been living in Brazil.
24:57
I don't know why exactly.
25:00
Although, come to think of it, maybe I do.
25:03
>> What do you mean? >> Well, it just occurred to me
25:06
that Brazil might be just the place for someone
25:08
who came into a lot of money and wanted to leave the country.
25:13
>> I don't understand... [ Sneezes ]
25:15
>> Oh, my.
25:16
I really think you are getting a cold, Stuart.
25:20
I'm getting that blanket out this minute.
25:22
>> Now, wait, Mrs. Canby, I'd rather hear about...
25:24
>> Never mind.
25:25
I don't want to take any chances.
25:27
I'll be right back.
25:30
>> Yes, Mrs. Canby.
25:33
Don't take any chances.
25:35
♪♪
25:39
[ Knock on door ]
25:41
>> Stuart? >> Yes? Come in.
25:43
[ Door opens ]
25:45
>> I brought you a tray, Stuart.
25:47
>> Oh, no, you shouldn't have. [ Coughing ]
25:50
You shouldn't have gone to all that trouble, Mrs. Canby.
25:52
>> Wasn't the least bit of trouble.
25:53
Besides, you've got to have some supper.
25:56
Feed a cold and starve a fever. That's what they say.
25:58
>> I mean, I was going to come out to the kitchen and...
26:01
and get myself a sandwich or something.
26:03
You didn't have to bring it to me.
26:05
Oh, look at that. Is that roast chicken?
26:08
>> Well, that's what it's supposed to be.
26:11
I hope it tastes all right.
26:13
>> And noodle soup with dumplings.
26:14
Mrs. Canby, you're spoiling me rotten.
26:17
Do you know that? [ Coughing ]
26:19
>> I just thought it'd be a good idea if you stayed in bed
26:21
and took it easy.
26:23
You weren't planning to go out tonight, were you?
26:25
>> No, no, I was just going to stay in and read for a while.
26:28
Maybe watch television.
26:29
>> Oh. That's good.
26:31
Here, I'll just set this tray down.
26:33
>> Oh, the service here is just too good.
26:37
Oh, we... [coughing] we never...
26:40
we never finished our talk the other day
26:41
about that boarder of yours, Mr. Paulson.
26:44
>> Well, there's not much to say about him, really.
26:48
>> Well, you said something about his living
26:50
in South America. [ Coughing ]
26:52
You said you thought you understood
26:54
why he was living there.
26:55
Sounded real interesting.
26:57
>> Well, the truth is, Stuart,
26:59
there is something to tell about Mr. Paulson.
27:03
Maybe, maybe you can help me feel better about it all.
27:06
>> About what?
27:08
>> I'm not going to tell you if you don't eat.
27:10
>> [ Chuckles ] All right, Mrs. Canby.
27:12
I'll... I'll eat.
27:14
>> Well, it happened just about three weeks ago...
27:20
♪♪
27:27
[ Birds chirping ]
27:28
>> [ Coughing ]
27:30
You know something, Mrs. Canby?
27:31
That's about the best roast chicken I've had in years.
27:34
>> I'm sure I spoiled your appetite with all my chatter.
27:36
>> No, no, that was a really interesting story.
27:39
>> But what do you think of it all, Stuart?
27:41
>> Hm?
27:42
>> Do you think I did the right thing?
27:44
>> Well, frankly, Mrs. Canby, I do.
27:46
>> Honestly?
27:48
>> Well, this guy Shelton sounds a little screwy,
27:50
but [coughs] I think he's all right.
27:52
I mean, from a practical standpoint.
27:54
>> Then you agree with him? >> Sure.
27:56
This man Richardson's dead, right?
27:58
And...what's his name?
27:59
Lindell? >> Yeah.
28:01
>> Well, he's dead too, right?
28:03
>> And poor Mr. Paulson,
28:05
the man who supposedly killed Richardson.
28:07
>> Well, there you are. [ Coughing ]
28:09
Nothing you can do will bring any of them back, right?
28:13
>> Well, yes, but just the same...
28:15
>> And you know the police, Mrs. Canby --
28:17
they'll be hounding you forever, tracking mud into your parlor,
28:21
bothering you with questions.
28:23
I just think Mr. Shelton was right.
28:25
Let sleeping dogs lie.
28:28
>> Yes, that's what I keep telling myself.
28:30
But you know something? >> What?
28:33
>> There's one thing Mr. Shelton forgot.
28:35
And me too, I suppose. >> What's that?
28:38
>> Why, the real murderer.
28:40
He may still be alive, even if all the others are gone.
28:44
Don't you see?
28:46
>> No, I... I don't.
28:48
>> Even if Mr. Lindell can't be helped anymore,
28:51
that doesn't mean the real murderer should get away.
28:55
>> But the real murderer is dead.
28:58
Paulson. >> No.
28:59
The killer is the man who hired Mr. Paulson.
29:02
Don't you see?
29:04
Is it right that he should get away with it?
29:06
>> Now, wait a minute. You're jumping to conclusions.
29:09
>> No. I'm not.
29:11
Mr. Paulson told me that he was hired to do this thing.
29:13
>> Well, maybe he was hired by Lindell.
29:16
Maybe Lindell hired him,
29:18
and then Paulson got cold feet and Lindell did
29:21
the shooting himself.
29:23
>> No, I'm sure that isn't true.
29:24
You see, I read the newspaper article all about it.
29:28
>> Well, you, you really were thorough about this,
29:31
weren't you, Mrs. Canby?
29:32
[ Coughing ]
29:34
>> Oh, you poor man.
29:37
That cold's gone to your chest now, hasn't it?
29:40
>> I'm all right. Stop... Stop worrying about me.
29:43
Let's talk about this, this other problem of yours.
29:46
>> Well, maybe I'm making it more of a problem
29:50
than it should be.
29:51
Maybe if I just told the police everything,
29:54
I could forget it once and for all.
29:57
>> No, I, uh...
29:59
I really couldn't advise that, Mrs. Canby.
30:01
>> Well, it said in the newspaper story
30:04
that the two men were partners in that investment firm.
30:08
Mr. Lindell thought that his partner, Richardson,
30:10
was cheating, taking money out of the firm.
30:14
And that's why he's supposed to have shot him.
30:16
>> Wasn't there a witness to the shooting?
30:20
>> Why, yes, I think there was.
30:22
Come to think of it, it was Mr. Shelton.
30:26
That's right, that's right.
30:28
>> Well, doesn't that wrap it up for you?
30:30
>> Well, it would if it wasn't for Mr. Paulson.
30:33
>> Listen, Mrs. Canby, you know how much I like you.
30:37
Why, in just a few days,
30:39
you're more like family to me than my Aunt Martha ever was.
30:42
>> Well, it's nice of you to say, Stuart.
30:45
>> And that's why I want you to listen to me about this.
30:48
That's why I want you to forget about this whole foolish thing
30:51
and...
30:52
[ Coughing ]
30:55
>> Listen to you. You sound awful, Stuart.
30:58
Just terrible.
30:59
>> No, I'm all right.
31:01
>> No, you're not all right.
31:03
I'm gonna get you some cough medicine right this minute.
31:08
[ Door closes ]
31:13
[ Telephone dialing ]
31:21
>> [ Coughing ]
31:22
[ Line ringing ]
31:26
>> Hello?
31:27
>> Mr. Shelton. It's... [ Coughs ]
31:29
It's me -- Winfield.
31:31
>> Well? What's happening?
31:33
>> I think I better stick around for a few more days,
31:35
Mr. Shelton.
31:37
The old lady's beginning to get fidgety,
31:39
if you know what I mean.
31:41
[ Coughing ]
31:43
♪♪
31:50
>> Well, something tells me
31:52
that Stuart Winfield isn't such a nice young man after all.
31:56
Could it be that he wasn't telling Mrs. Canby the truth
31:59
about his dear mother and his Aunt Martha?
32:03
Could he have not told her the truth
32:05
about his plans for the future?
32:08
Of course, the real issue is,
32:10
what sort of plan does he have for Ada Canby's future?
32:15
I'll be back shortly with act three.
32:20
>> Like what you're hearing so far?
32:22
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32:25
just like this one
32:26
and the dramatic genius who created them?
32:29
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32:32
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32:35
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32:37
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32:40
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32:43
that brought millions of families
32:44
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32:47
Audio Maverick is available anywhere you get your podcasts.
32:53
♪♪
33:03
>> Poor Mrs. Canby.
33:06
She isn't sleeping well tonight.
33:09
But of course Mrs. Canby has good reasons for insomnia.
33:13
Her thoughts are whirling.
33:16
Her boarder Stuart was right.
33:18
She doesn't want the bother of going to the police.
33:22
And she firmly believes in the old adage,
33:25
if you don't trouble trouble,
33:28
trouble won't trouble you.
33:31
But still...
33:33
>> Oh, my.
33:35
I'm just never going to get to sleep tonight.
33:38
>> [ Coughing ]
33:40
>> Poor Stuart. He's still coughing.
33:44
I'm sure that room is just too drafty.
33:47
I never should have let any boarders in
33:49
until I got the windows fixed.
33:52
Oh, dear. That poor boy.
33:56
I'll never forget the terrible night
33:58
Mr. Paulson was coughing so badly.
34:02
And the way he looked, all gray and shrunken.
34:07
If only I knew he was so sick.
34:10
No...
34:12
If only he'd never even come to this house.
34:15
>> [ Weakly ] Mrs. Canby...
34:17
I killed Richardson.
34:19
I did it.
34:21
>> Will I ever forget the sound of that man's voice?
34:24
>> Lindell is innocent.
34:26
Lindell is innocent.
34:29
>> That poor man.
34:31
All the years he spent in jail for something he didn't do.
34:35
>> Let sleeping dogs lie, Mrs. Canby.
34:40
My Aunt Martha always said
34:43
let sleeping dogs lie.
34:46
>> Oh, if only I could get some sleep.
34:49
>> Let us turn this matter over to God. Mrs. Canby,
34:52
not to the police.
34:54
Not to the police.
34:56
Not to the police.
34:59
>> What a strange man he is, that Mr. Shelton.
35:03
The way he talked about God, praying at his desk.
35:08
Of course God is everywhere, but...
35:11
his desk?
35:12
>> I killed Richardson.
35:15
I murdered him for money.
35:18
I was paid.
35:20
I was paid.
35:22
>> Paid. >> Paid.
35:24
>> Someone had to pay him.
35:27
Mr. Paulson wasn't the only guilty one.
35:29
Someone else was, too.
35:31
>> Forget.
35:33
Forget.
35:35
Forget.
35:37
>> Oh, dear Lord.
35:38
Mr. Shelton.
35:40
Shelton.
35:42
Shelton. What did that newspaper article say?
35:45
The chief witness against Mr. Lindell was...
35:48
Arnold Shelton.
35:51
But how could he be a witness to something that never happened?
35:56
How could he be?
35:59
I'll have to tell someone.
36:00
I'll have to talk to someone.
36:02
>> [ Coughing ]
36:04
>> Yes, I'll tell Stuart about it in the morning.
36:08
♪♪
36:14
[ Knock on door ]
36:16
Stuart? Are you awake?
36:18
>> Yes. I'm up, Mrs. Canby. Come in.
36:21
>> [ Door opens ] >> [ Birds chirping ]
36:22
[ Coughing ] Oh, no.
36:25
Now, don't tell me I'm getting breakfast in bed, too.
36:28
>> Well, I know you had a terrible night
36:30
last night, Stuart.
36:31
You were coughing much worse than ever.
36:34
I guess that medicine wasn't very good.
36:36
>> Sorry I kept you awake, Mrs. Canby.
36:39
>> Oh, that wasn't your fault.
36:40
No, something else kept me up.
36:43
>> What was that?
36:44
>> Oh, my mind, I guess
36:46
Or maybe I should say my conscience.
36:50
>> Oh, that sounds serious.
36:52
>> Well, it is something serious, Stuart.
36:55
I might have let a man get away with murder.
36:58
No, it's even worse than that.
37:01
He did something worse than murder.
37:04
>> You're talking about Paulson again? [ Coughing ]
37:07
>> No, I'm talking about the man who hired Mr. Paulson.
37:12
He didn't just have that man Richardson shot.
37:17
He let an innocent person go to jail and die there.
37:21
Now, that's like committing two murders, if you ask me.
37:26
I have to tell you, something occurred to me last night.
37:28
>> Sure. Go ahead. >> Well, it's about Mr. Shelton.
37:32
Mr. Arnold Shelton.
37:35
>> Yeah. Go on. I'm listening.
37:38
>> Stuart, I wonder
37:40
if maybe the reason Mr. Shelton was so upset with me,
37:44
the reason he didn't want me to go to the police
37:47
was because he was afraid.
37:51
>> Explain what you mean.
37:53
>> Well, what I mean is, maybe Mr. Shelton had good reason,
37:57
besides the one he told me.
37:59
He was working for both Mr. Richardson and Mr. Lindell
38:03
at the time of the murder.
38:05
>> [ Coughing ] Well, so what?
38:07
>> Well, he was also the chief witness at the trial,
38:10
a witness for the prosecution.
38:12
>> But he saw the shooting, didn't he?
38:14
>> But that's just the point.
38:16
He saw Mr. Lindell shoot Mr. Richardson.
38:21
>> Well, that's not what you told me last time.
38:24
I mean, that he was an eyewitness.
38:26
>> No. That's right.
38:28
He didn't actually see the shooting.
38:30
He was miles away when it happened.
38:32
I don't quite remember the details.
38:35
>> There was something about a phone call, maybe.
38:38
>> Yes, yes, that's what it was.
38:40
He claimed that Mr. Richardson was talking to him on the phone
38:45
when Mr. Lindell showed up at his apartment.
38:47
He said that Richardson cried out something
38:50
about Lindell having a gun.
38:52
>> And then he heard the shot.
38:53
>> But how could that have happened
38:56
if the gun was fired by Mr. Paulson?
38:59
>> "If," Mrs. Canby.
39:01
That's the big little word, isn't it?
39:04
If. [ Coughing ]
39:06
>> But don't you see what I'm saying, Stuart?
39:10
Arnold Shelton had the most to gain.
39:14
>> Gain from what?
39:15
>> From both these men leaving the firm.
39:18
That'd leave the whole thing to him.
39:20
All those customers, all the investments he handled,
39:23
all the commissions, or whatever they call it.
39:26
>> Are you accusing this guy Shelton of being the killer?
39:30
>> Yes, it's... it's the only answer, Stuart.
39:33
>> Well, look, if that was the case,
39:35
the... [coughing]
39:37
the police would have figured it out.
39:39
>> But they didn't.
39:40
There was nothing in the stories I read
39:42
that pointed any suspicion at Mr. Shelton.
39:45
I don't suppose it even occurred to them.
39:48
And now the company is all his.
39:52
>> You don't -- you don't call that evidence, do you?
39:56
>> Well, then, why didn't he let me go to the police?
40:00
Why did he try so hard to talk me out of it?
40:04
That man was praying to it.
40:06
He was taking the name of the Lord in vain.
40:10
>> [ Coughing ]
40:13
>> Oh. I'm sorry. Stuart, I'm so sorry.
40:15
I won't bother you anymore.
40:18
I know what I have to do anyway.
40:21
>> Mrs. Canby.
40:22
>> I won't be gone long, Stuart. >> Wait.
40:24
No, no, wait. >> The minute I get back,
40:26
I'm going to call Doctor George and ask him to come over.
40:29
You're sick. >> Never mind the doctor.
40:32
Are you calling the police?
40:33
>> No, no, I won't call them. You're right.
40:36
I don't want them tracking mud in my parlor.
40:39
I'm going down to the station house and talk to them.
40:42
I'll get dressed now and go straight there.
40:44
>> Please, please, think about what you're doing.
40:47
>> I'll tell them what I know, and they can do the rest.
40:51
Now, you try to eat something, Stuart.
40:54
Please. >> [ Door closes ]
40:55
>> Mrs. Canby!
40:57
[ Coughing ]
40:59
[ Telephone dialing ]
41:04
[ Line ringing ]
41:06
[ Wheezing ]
41:08
Shelton?
41:09
>> What is this, Winfield?
41:11
I told you not to call me in the office.
41:13
>> It's an emergency. [ Coughing ]
41:16
>> You sound terrible. What's the matter with you?
41:18
>> I'm sick.
41:20
Only you're gonna be a lot sicker.
41:22
>> What are you talking about?
41:23
>> The old lady. I can't stop her.
41:25
She's decided to talk.
41:27
>> What? >> She figured it out.
41:29
Figured out exactly what you did, Shelton,
41:31
and how you did it.
41:32
>> You fool! You've got to stop her.
41:34
Do you hear me?
41:36
>> That wasn't part of the deal, Shelton.
41:38
>> It's all of the deal now.
41:40
>> The price didn't include anything like that.
41:42
>> The price just doubled.
41:44
Old ladies are always having accidents.
41:47
Make her have one.
41:49
Make her have one now, Winfield.
41:51
>> [ Coughing ] All right, all right.
41:56
She's gonna...
41:58
She's gonna have a fall down the cellar steps right now.
42:01
[ Coughing ]
42:06
I gotta get my robe on and my slippers.
42:09
I gotta hurry.
42:11
♪♪
42:15
[ Knock on door ]
42:17
>> Stuart, is that you?
42:19
>> Open up, Mrs. Canby. [ Coughing ]
42:21
>> For heaven's sake.
42:24
Stuart Winfield, what are you doing out of bed?
42:28
Now, you go right back there this second.
42:30
>> I gotta... I gotta talk to you, Mrs. Canby,
42:32
before you go to the police.
42:35
>> Listen to you. You're all winded.
42:37
You can hardly talk, Stuart.
42:39
Now go back to bed before you catch pneumonia too.
42:41
>> Now, don't go, Mrs. Canby.
42:43
It would be better if you never went to the police.
42:46
Better for you.
42:47
Better for me.
42:49
>> For you? I don't understand. >> Well, then I...
42:53
I wouldn't have to hurt you, Mrs. Canby.
42:57
That's what I mean.
42:58
I wouldn't have to do anything bad to you.
43:01
>> Stuart, what in the world are you talking about?
43:04
>> Come on, old lady. You're smart, all right.
43:07
You really think things through.
43:08
So now think a little harder.
43:10
>> You knew?
43:12
Stuart, you knew about Mr. Paulson?
43:14
>> [ Coughing ] That's right.
43:15
>> That's how you knew my room was for rent,
43:17
because Mr. Shelton told you.
43:19
>> Now you're getting there, Mrs. Canby.
43:21
>> and that's why you rented it. That's why. You were sent here.
43:25
>> Just to watch you, Mrs. Canby.
43:27
Just to see that you stayed sensible.
43:30
>> Shelton sent you!
43:31
Mr. Shelton did!
43:33
>> I was hoping you'd never change your mind
43:35
about calling the police.
43:37
I didn't want this part of it.
43:39
This isn't the part I like.
43:41
>> Let me go! Let me go, Stuart.
43:43
>> Just relax, Mrs. Canby. >> No! Let me go!
43:46
>> Just take it easy. >> Oh, dear God. Stuart, please.
43:48
Please don't!
43:50
>> You're as light as a feather, Mrs. Canby.
43:52
Just like my Aunt Martha would have been if I...
43:55
if I had an Aunt Martha.
43:57
>> Please, Stuart! Please put me down, please.
44:00
>> We've got a date now, Mrs. Canby.
44:02
>> Let me go! Stuart, let me go!
44:05
>> Don't put up such a fight, Mrs. Canby.
44:08
I'm sick, remember?
44:09
>> Stuart! No!
44:11
>> Just shut your eyes. Please.
44:14
Shut your eyes and don't look down.
44:16
>> Oh, dear God. Stuart! Those stairs.
44:19
>> It's just your eyes, old lady.
44:21
>> Help! Help me, somebody! >> It'll all be over...
44:24
[ Coughing ] >> [ Shouting ]
44:27
Stuart! Stop!
44:29
♪♪
44:38
>> It's all right now, Ada. >> [ Sobbing ]
44:41
>> Just be glad that wasn't you at the bottom of those stairs.
44:46
>> Well, will he be all right, Doctor George?
44:50
>> Now, what do you want to worry about that man for?
44:53
Truth is, his injuries don't amount to very much.
44:57
Couple of broken ribs seem to be the worst of it.
45:00
But he'll be a patient for some time
45:02
before they can put him in prison where he belongs.
45:05
Him and his, uh, friend.
45:08
What was that man's name again?
45:11
>> You mean Mr. Shelton?
45:14
Have they arrested him? >> Yep, yep.
45:16
That's what the police detective said.
45:18
>> I don't understand.
45:20
If Stuart's injuries aren't serious...
45:23
>> It's not the fall that made Winfield so sick.
45:26
His case was diagnosed as simple pneumonia at first.
45:30
And then I remembered about your first boarder.
45:34
Nelson, was it? >> No, Paulson.
45:36
>> Yes, Paulson. >> But he had pneumonia, too.
45:39
He died of it. Is pneumonia contagious?
45:42
>> Yes. Yes, it is.
45:44
But this disease was even more contagious.
45:48
It's a pneumonia caused by a disease called psittacosis.
45:53
Better known as parrot fever.
45:56
You get it from sick birds,
45:59
like the parakeets in your spare room.
46:02
>> Oh, no. Mr. Paulson's birds?
46:05
>> Sorry, Ada, but they had to be taken out and destroyed.
46:09
>> Oh, what a shame.
46:12
>> There's one reason I feel sorry for them.
46:16
They saved your life.
46:18
Made Mr. Winfield too weak
46:20
even to throw a little old lady down a flight of steps.
46:24
>> Ah, those poor little creatures.
46:26
>> Yeah, but you can be grateful they didn't make you sick, too.
46:30
Parrot fever is so contagious
46:32
that no more than one person in a thousand
46:35
could be exposed to it and escape infection.
46:38
It was pretty darn close to a miracle, Ada.
46:42
>> We're hard to kill, Doctor.
46:45
Remember?
46:46
The old ones are hard to kill.
46:49
♪♪
46:55
>> They say that people are living longer than ever before.
46:59
And when we look at Ada Canby, we can understand why.
47:03
She's a tough old lady.
47:06
So tough she could withstand the threats of man, beasts and bird.
47:12
So, let that be a warning to all those who think
47:15
that our senior citizens are easy prey for crime.
47:19
Watch out!
47:21
They may turn the tables on you.
47:23
Or the stairs.
47:26
I'll be back shortly.
47:28
♪♪
47:38
We have one final comment for you,
47:41
on behalf of Ada Canby and old people everywhere.
47:45
There's a saying --
47:47
There's no fool like an old fool.
47:50
But it's also true that there's no wisdom and strength
47:53
like old wisdom and strength.
47:56
There.
47:58
Does that make you feel better about your next birthday?
48:02
Our cast included Agnes Moorehead, Leon Janney,
48:05
and Roger De Koven.
48:07
The entire production was under the direction of Himan Brown.
48:10
This is E.G. Marshall, inviting you to return
48:13
to our Mystery Theater
48:15
for another adventure in the macabre.
48:18
Until next time,
48:20
pleasant dreams.
48:24
[ Loud creaking ]
48:30
♪♪
48:39
♪♪
48:49
♪♪
48:58
♪♪
49:06
>> If You Please... Himan Brown's Radio Mystery Theater
49:09
is produced and directed by Sarah Montague.
49:12
Our executive producers are Melina Brown and Sarah Montague.
49:16
CUNY TV's executive director is Chiqui Cartegna.
49:20
The director of production is Susan Iger.
49:23
The associate producer is Corinne Wallace.
49:25
And our audio production intern is Sofia Cedeno.
49:29
Margot Avery is the voice of the series,
49:31
introduction, and credits.
49:33
The program commentaries are by John Slaveney.
49:37
Our technical team at CUNY TV
49:39
includes senior audio engineer Richard Kim
49:42
and broadcast audio engineers Jackie Mitchell and Kevin Wolfe.
49:47
Our staff photographer is Laura Fuchs.
49:50
Our archivists are David Rice and Catriona Schlosser.
49:53
Our closed caption coordinator is Amy Monte.
49:57
The If You Please program mix engineer
49:59
is Lisa Gosselin-Vincent.
50:01
Tink Media handles our publicity and marketing.
50:04
Our director of social media is Karen A. Brown,
50:07
in collaboration with StardustBlue PR.
50:11
If You Please... Himan Brown's Radio Mystery Theater
50:14
is a production of CUNY TV.
50:17
If you enjoyed the show
50:19
and are curious about the history of these radio programs,
50:22
listen to Audio Maverick.
50:24
In this award-winning nine-part documentary,
50:27
we explore the golden age of radio
50:29
through the life of dramatic genius Himan Brown,
50:32
and then explore the work of contemporary audio dramatists
50:35
who are part of his legacy.
50:37
Audio Maverick is available anywhere you get your podcasts.