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USAMA SIDDIQUEE - Bagels, Grit, and Punchlines · Eating While Broke

0:00
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke.
0:03
Speaker 1: I'm your host Coley, and today we have very special guests,
0:06
Speaker 1: personal friend of my brothers, so we had to call
0:09
Speaker 1: it a favorite.
0:11
Speaker 2: Hello, did I fuck it up?
0:13
Speaker 3: I should have get a number. There's just three on.
0:15
Speaker 1: It because he keeps me Salma sucker, Dicky.
0:20
Speaker 3: Hello, it's did I'm not say it right?
0:26
Speaker 1: Okay, cool, they're gonna use that one problem.
0:43
Speaker 2: Osama's in the building. I'm really excited.
0:45
Speaker 1: Actor comedian is in the building, very excited to have
0:48
Speaker 1: you seen you do stand up in la And that
0:50
Speaker 1: was a great time when I got to enjoy l
0:52
Speaker 1: A comics.
0:55
Speaker 3: A lot of people hate l A comedy for good reason.
0:57
Speaker 3: It's not the it's a lot of people going there
0:59
Speaker 3: to become fans and not good. The currency of LA
1:02
Speaker 3: is let me get famous. The currency of New York
1:04
Speaker 3: is let me get good. So if you go to
1:07
Speaker 3: one place, those ideas will permeate within you and you'll
1:10
Speaker 3: become that type of comic. So that's why I really
1:12
Speaker 3: love when comics go to New York for multiple years
1:14
Speaker 3: because they it gets in their head to be good.
1:17
Speaker 2: Well, you get to do more reps in New York.
1:18
Speaker 2: So that's what you could do.
1:20
Speaker 1: I remember I used to come here with Eagle, and
1:24
Speaker 1: Eagle would stay out til four in the morning. He
1:26
Speaker 1: brings me back the Philly cheese, chop cheese and then
1:29
Speaker 1: a snapple and that's when we catch up.
1:31
Speaker 3: Y'all. Y'all, you and Egle are look so like it's
1:36
Speaker 3: crazy in a good way. Not like I'm talking to
1:37
Speaker 3: Eagle right now, but if it's if he's Ego, then
1:40
Speaker 3: you're like pigeon. You know, You're like, you're right, it's
1:43
Speaker 3: the same okay, you know, same concept. Y'all are like
1:47
Speaker 3: the likable in a very perceptive way. Y'all always observing. Yeah,
1:53
Speaker 3: I always like assessing. I almost feel like I'm being
1:56
Speaker 3: assessed by you.
1:58
Speaker 2: We love you. That's the one thing we have in common.
2:01
Speaker 1: But before we get into your story, which I heard
2:04
Speaker 1: from Ego was incredible. I tried not to do the
2:06
Speaker 1: whole million on one questions because that's why you're here.
2:09
Speaker 1: But before we get into it, let's get into the
2:13
Speaker 1: halal bagel.
2:14
Speaker 3: You got its got a fully Arabic podcast today. She's
2:18
Speaker 3: doing great.
2:19
Speaker 1: So typically the guest would be introducing the dish, but
2:22
Speaker 1: I want to tell you guys.
2:23
Speaker 2: A little backstory.
2:24
Speaker 1: Usama gave me the task of finding a bagel from
2:27
Speaker 1: a halal cart, which is actually impossible, which I told
2:31
Speaker 1: him last night and he assured me, no, no, no,
2:34
Speaker 1: you got this, which by the way, we are not
2:36
Speaker 1: eating halal bagels, but we.
2:38
Speaker 2: Will go ahead.
2:40
Speaker 3: What come okay? So okay. So the bigel was trying
2:44
Speaker 3: to get her to get I told her I would
2:45
Speaker 3: get it for her, but she was like, I don't
2:46
Speaker 3: trust you be on time. And here I was at one.
2:49
Speaker 2: Ten and I was late.
2:51
Speaker 3: So I respect you that I absolutely could have. I
2:57
Speaker 3: worked my whole day around Colleen and now look at us.
3:00
Speaker 3: So basically, it's a it's like a breakfast cart that's
3:03
Speaker 3: run by an Arab guy. Usually like it's some small
3:05
Speaker 3: thing you'll see like bagel, you'll see like some danishes
3:07
Speaker 3: and muffins on the in the glass case. But it's
3:11
Speaker 3: like a cart. It looks like a lot cart, but
3:12
Speaker 3: really it's a breakfast cart that's like out in the
3:14
Speaker 3: in the morning. So every day I would basically wait
3:18
Speaker 3: till I couldn't wait anymore, and I would eat one
3:21
Speaker 3: bagel for that day. And it was a bagel, one sided,
3:26
Speaker 3: one half of it and just it was butter on it,
3:29
Speaker 3: and then I would use that until the end of
3:31
Speaker 3: the night when I have one more bagel.
3:33
Speaker 2: So there was would that be the second half of
3:35
Speaker 2: the first day.
3:36
Speaker 3: I came back and the guy he's like, yeah, pay
3:38
Speaker 3: up the second half and it was basically two bagels.
3:40
Speaker 3: Excuse me that where I was eat the whole day.
3:43
Speaker 3: And that was like maybe a couple of months of
3:45
Speaker 3: just that, and then one day I woke up and
3:47
Speaker 3: I was like dizzy for a month because I just
3:50
Speaker 3: hadn't had nutrients. I just hadn't had one vegetable. I
3:53
Speaker 3: thought I was dying. I was like, this is all true.
3:58
Speaker 2: Are you gonna eat?
3:58
Speaker 1: You gotta take a bite of this for because I
4:00
Speaker 1: know I did not go all around.
4:03
Speaker 2: I ain't never.
4:03
Speaker 3: Man, this looks already too expensive. This already looks too
4:07
Speaker 3: bougie for what I was eating. Like wrapping my bagel.
4:10
Speaker 1: The four dollars, so I don't know what he was
4:13
Speaker 1: paying the bagel.
4:14
Speaker 3: I got the bagel, he would frisbee it to my mouth.
4:18
Speaker 3: This is like in a wrapping. It's like Christmas.
4:21
Speaker 2: Let's see, okay, this is just a.
4:23
Speaker 3: It's like a soft bagel. Yeah, hold hold up, hold on,
4:26
Speaker 3: Oh my god, the struggle bagel.
4:27
Speaker 1: But I should have done it's got it early this
4:29
Speaker 1: morning and made you eat a cold, top hard bagel.
4:33
Speaker 2: This is good.
4:34
Speaker 3: So my eye goes up and down like you.
4:36
Speaker 2: So take me back too, it's good.
4:41
Speaker 3: Takes me back?
4:42
Speaker 2: Probably does it take you back? When was the last
4:44
Speaker 2: time you had this?
4:46
Speaker 3: Literally since since I was poor. I don't eat this anymore.
4:49
Speaker 3: If I have a bagel, I'm having like all this,
4:51
Speaker 3: you know, I'm cream, cheese and ship.
4:54
Speaker 2: Fancying it up.
4:55
Speaker 3: Damn, it's been a while. It's been a while, real talk.
4:58
Speaker 3: I didn't think I was poor, grown in New York, didn't.
5:02
Speaker 3: I didn't really think that I was just like, I
5:03
Speaker 3: was just happy to do comedy four times a day.
5:05
Speaker 3: That was my whole mindset.
5:08
Speaker 2: So this is during your pursuit of comedy career.
5:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, so when I would, I mean, it's Eagle time too.
5:13
Speaker 3: When I was when I met Eagle, I was what
5:15
Speaker 3: twenty three in New York give up med school to
5:17
Speaker 3: do comedy, gave up med school.
5:19
Speaker 2: I'm sure those parents were thrilled.
5:20
Speaker 3: They were so happy. They were like, are you are
5:22
Speaker 3: you gay too? Please be gay as well. No, they
5:26
Speaker 3: were so angry, so sad I didn't talk to him
5:28
Speaker 3: for like the first two years. Classic you know, immigrant
5:30
Speaker 3: Bengali came here Medigal like the week two we were micers.
5:35
Speaker 3: You know, so micers you just do as many shows
5:38
Speaker 3: a humanly possible. I didn't get a real job because
5:40
Speaker 3: I was like, then I would miss the five pm
5:42
Speaker 3: micah people who did the temp jobs and the normal
5:44
Speaker 3: job they would always come to mics at like a
5:46
Speaker 3: seven pm and I was like, no, that's two extra
5:48
Speaker 3: mics I could do. So I basically post made it
5:51
Speaker 3: all day, had no money, would eat like two bagels
5:54
Speaker 3: a day, and then I would do comedy from five
5:56
Speaker 3: to one am every day. And so it was very skinny,
6:01
Speaker 3: very wayfish very like like I looked like this, this
6:04
Speaker 3: is my arm, and even now it's not that much better.
6:07
Speaker 3: But I was very much in that world of like blinders,
6:10
Speaker 3: I think you need a certain ivitate to like do
6:12
Speaker 3: comedy well eventually, like you could be obsessed with it
6:14
Speaker 3: in a way. And I was like very much in
6:16
Speaker 3: that space of just like I don't care what my body,
6:18
Speaker 3: I don't care about my what I put into it.
6:20
Speaker 3: I just want to do as much comedy as humanly possible.
6:23
Speaker 1: So when you say we're going to take it back
6:25
Speaker 1: a step, when you say you gave up med school, well,
6:27
Speaker 1: does that mean you were a really great student and
6:29
Speaker 1: then you shot your parents'.
6:30
Speaker 3: Dreams Jesus so violent? Yes, yes?
6:33
Speaker 1: And then and then did they say, hey, okay, so
6:36
Speaker 1: you got about one year or did they put some
6:38
Speaker 1: parameters on it.
6:39
Speaker 3: So I didn't tell I lied to them. I basically
6:42
Speaker 3: got into med school. There's the thing you can do
6:44
Speaker 3: for med school where you can defer for a year
6:46
Speaker 3: through an extenuating medical circumstance for your parents, going to
6:49
Speaker 3: help them out. So my mom had like this routine
6:52
Speaker 3: like bunyan appointment or something like that. Something would just
6:56
Speaker 3: like just get some like acid for feet. And I
6:59
Speaker 3: had made that into like I sent a letter to
7:02
Speaker 3: the medical office of the Admission's office of A and
7:05
Speaker 3: M like you, my mom got polio, shi leg amputated
7:11
Speaker 3: all this shit so I could defer free. I had
7:13
Speaker 3: the doctor's knowne of like a foot appointment, and I
7:15
Speaker 3: sent that over and then the admitions like, oh this
7:19
Speaker 3: you need those guys want one year? Differ because if
7:21
Speaker 3: I just said it was a bunion appointment. They wouldn't
7:23
Speaker 3: have accepted. They had to be something crazy. So I
7:25
Speaker 3: definitely lied and told them that my mom had like
7:28
Speaker 3: no legs, and they were like, of course, of course,
7:31
Speaker 3: We'll give you a year. And that year I accrued
7:34
Speaker 3: money delivering sandwiches for Jimmy John's, so I could at
7:37
Speaker 3: the end of the year if I needed to make
7:38
Speaker 3: an escape from my parents, I could do it.
7:41
Speaker 2: Oh, because you knew that they was gonna come.
7:43
Speaker 3: For you, absolutely right. So I basically was like, just
7:47
Speaker 3: so I have escape money. So I told them I
7:49
Speaker 3: was working at a hospital, which I was not, and
7:52
Speaker 3: I was really just getting money from Jane John's and
7:53
Speaker 3: then doing comedy all night.
7:55
Speaker 2: Oh they didn't even know about the comedy.
7:57
Speaker 3: No. So that for that year, after med school up,
8:00
Speaker 3: after undergrad ended, and but before med school was starting,
8:04
Speaker 3: I was just doing comedy and I was making money
8:05
Speaker 3: delivery driving.
8:06
Speaker 1: Now, now we got to go back a little bit
8:08
Speaker 1: deeper again, we gotta know. Okay, so where when, at
8:13
Speaker 1: what point did you have the epiphany that comedy was
8:16
Speaker 1: definitely something you wanted to do.
8:18
Speaker 3: You know, I was a funny kid with my friends, right,
8:21
Speaker 3: I was first funny in class doing like you know,
8:24
Speaker 3: popcorn reading when someone like, hey, I'm reading. Then I
8:27
Speaker 3: passed the book two who saw him? And then you
8:29
Speaker 3: read a section from like a play or something from
8:32
Speaker 3: Englis Slash. So we were doing Julius Caesar and I
8:34
Speaker 3: was they gave it to me and it was the
8:35
Speaker 3: Brutus speech. I think the Friends or the Marc Anthony
8:38
Speaker 3: was the friends Romans country then my ears and I
8:41
Speaker 3: made a massive like British affectation like friends, Romens countryman
8:44
Speaker 3: lending me it is. People were dying and I remember that
8:47
Speaker 3: was the first time I was like, oh, I'm getting
8:49
Speaker 3: a group of people to laugh at something I'm doing.
8:52
Speaker 3: That was the beginning of like the Funny. Then I
8:55
Speaker 3: did the MCAT, which is the medical school Admissions Program test.
8:58
Speaker 3: That was like so saying that. Once I finished it,
9:01
Speaker 3: I had a year in junior year to find out
9:02
Speaker 3: what I wanted to do. So I was like, let
9:04
Speaker 3: me try comedy. I really want to do it. I
9:06
Speaker 3: was just thinking about it. I went to a Hyenas
9:09
Speaker 3: comedy club in Dallas, which is like I had a
9:11
Speaker 3: Wednesday open mic and I that's where I started doing comedy.
9:14
Speaker 3: I was so bad I was. I just wrote like
9:16
Speaker 3: bin Louden puns, like five minutes have been Lodden puns.
9:19
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, let's go. And I did
9:21
Speaker 3: it at like one thirty am with my first mic
9:24
Speaker 3: and then it was like, waited for five hours to
9:26
Speaker 3: do it. Got a couple of laughs, and I was like, Oh,
9:28
Speaker 3: this is this is what I want to do, this
9:30
Speaker 3: is this is my whole thing.
9:31
Speaker 2: And at what point did you break the news to
9:34
Speaker 2: the parents.
9:35
Speaker 3: It was the day before I left to New York.
9:38
Speaker 3: I had bought in the ticket I had. They thought
9:41
Speaker 3: I was going to medical school. The day before I
9:44
Speaker 3: left to New York.
9:45
Speaker 2: I thought you were originally from here.
9:47
Speaker 3: No, I'm from Dallas.
9:48
Speaker 1: Oh so you were out there, and so you you
9:51
Speaker 1: break the news along with a plane ticket like boom,
9:55
Speaker 1: I'm going to I know they're gonna kill me and
9:57
Speaker 1: they're gonna need time to I got to.
10:00
Speaker 3: Escape before they get the weapons. You know, my dad,
10:03
Speaker 3: I told my parents. I was like, da dad, Mom,
10:06
Speaker 3: I'm not going to do medical school. I'm gonna do comedy.
10:09
Speaker 3: My dad, you know, single dad teer, you know that
10:12
Speaker 3: classic like it can't be gay. But I'm also destroyed.
10:15
Speaker 3: My mom took pots and pans started throwing it. She's like,
10:19
Speaker 3: what the fuck are you doing? But started throwing shit?
10:23
Speaker 2: Did she really?
10:24
Speaker 3: No, really, it wasn't like it was more like it
10:27
Speaker 3: was an an aiming at me. She's just so fucking angry.
10:29
Speaker 3: She's like, what the fuck are you doing? Bawling, like
10:32
Speaker 3: what are you doing? Because the word comedian in my
10:34
Speaker 3: in Banglah Bamlay is like drunk. You know the town drunk,
10:38
Speaker 3: he said, comedian come in, so like when I want
10:42
Speaker 3: to be a comedian, They're like, you want to be
10:43
Speaker 3: professionally drunk, which is kind of what happens, but that
10:46
Speaker 3: they didn't have no concept of what comedy is. They
10:49
Speaker 3: have no idea. Immigrant you know, people who are just
10:53
Speaker 3: like get money acchoir and I get it now looking back,
10:56
Speaker 3: I was pretty petulant to them. I was like, I
10:59
Speaker 3: should have given them more time. I should have like
11:01
Speaker 3: been more courteous.
11:02
Speaker 1: But also coming from immigrants, you also know that the
11:06
Speaker 1: death sentence is real, possible, like you may not live
11:10
Speaker 1: another day.
11:12
Speaker 3: I didn't die because I was good at dodging.
11:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right, but you know what I'm saying.
11:15
Speaker 1: You know, there's like this inherent fear as an immigrant
11:18
Speaker 1: child that you know, like they don't have a problem
11:21
Speaker 1: saying like I brought you in this world and I
11:23
Speaker 1: may be the one that.
11:24
Speaker 3: Jamaican right, yeah, Jamaican, she is christ some of those
11:28
Speaker 3: intense people on earth. Why do you think that Jamaican
11:30
Speaker 3: is so good at running because their parents are the
11:32
Speaker 3: raising the running. The first danger is mom, the with
11:37
Speaker 3: a sandal and a knife. And I bet your mom
11:40
Speaker 3: she does take no ship, but very dangerous, beautifully sweet sweet.
11:45
Speaker 3: But it's right there my mom too. If you me
11:47
Speaker 3: and my mom, you're like, that's the sweetest lady on earth.
11:49
Speaker 3: The door closes, She's like, get me a stick, I'm
11:52
Speaker 3: going to kill you and then I'm gonna kill myself
11:55
Speaker 3: to get you in the spirit world and I'm gonna
11:57
Speaker 3: find you and kill you. There again, they're.
12:00
Speaker 1: Crazy, but come back you You do think that if
12:02
Speaker 1: you had to redo it over, you would have given
12:04
Speaker 1: them a warning?
12:05
Speaker 3: No, I know, I wouldn't. I feel bad because now
12:08
Speaker 3: I know where they're coming from. The hurt, the pain,
12:11
Speaker 3: the fear that I was a star kid, very smart
12:14
Speaker 3: in school. In their mind, I'm throwing it all away. Yeah,
12:17
Speaker 3: and they're terrified of that it's all love based all
12:19
Speaker 3: their anger and their fear, and they love so much
12:22
Speaker 3: that it comes out in dark ways. Sometimes it's you know,
12:25
Speaker 3: literally like you know, but it's like the idea is
12:28
Speaker 3: like I had, I was also a coward. I was scared.
12:32
Speaker 3: I didn't know I was gonna do it. I was
12:33
Speaker 3: still like maybe comedy, maybe medicine for the longest time,
12:36
Speaker 3: and then I watched this documentary called Zero Dreams of Sushi.
12:39
Speaker 3: I don't know if you ever saw this, literally, just
12:41
Speaker 3: Japanese sushi chefs who's like talking about the idea of
12:45
Speaker 3: all I want to do is get better at making sushi.
12:47
Speaker 3: That's my whole purpose in life. And as an immigrant kid,
12:50
Speaker 3: you never understand that concept because everything's very acquisitional. It's like,
12:54
Speaker 3: you gotta get this so you can get this, so
12:56
Speaker 3: you can get this, get this job, get this degree
12:58
Speaker 3: so you can get those jobs. You can get this
13:00
Speaker 3: needs to get the house. It's all get, get, get
13:01
Speaker 3: because immigrants work in that way. That's why they came
13:03
Speaker 3: to America to get. Whereas the idea that you can
13:06
Speaker 3: live your life inside out, like the idea of the
13:10
Speaker 3: of the journey and the path and the growth and
13:12
Speaker 3: the finding the self as the actual purpose was lost
13:18
Speaker 3: on me. It was such a unique idea that I
13:20
Speaker 3: saw in that documentary, and once I saw that, it
13:23
Speaker 3: shifted immediately. I finished that documentary about to take it
13:25
Speaker 3: that day. Wow, Yeah, it was crazy.
13:28
Speaker 2: Does your parents know that that one documentary.
13:31
Speaker 3: In their lives? There? My mom's like, I'm going to
13:35
Speaker 3: read that Japanese guy, go to Tokyo, find him.
13:38
Speaker 2: How did you end up even watching it? It was
13:39
Speaker 2: just like fate.
13:40
Speaker 3: It was fay. You know, there's some things a little
13:42
Speaker 3: I like that, you know, some things like that. When
13:45
Speaker 3: I decided to do comedy, I was like, I was like,
13:47
Speaker 3: let me just wait for a year, let me just
13:49
Speaker 3: like sculpe it out in junear you after the m cat.
13:51
Speaker 3: And then I off a whim told this guy who
13:54
Speaker 3: wasn't even a close friend. He was a friend ish,
13:56
Speaker 3: but not a guy I would I would ever tell.
13:59
Speaker 3: But I didn't tell my best friends. I just told
14:01
Speaker 3: him and he was the guy who was like, I
14:03
Speaker 3: already do comedy in hyenas And I'm like, what it
14:08
Speaker 3: had been? It had gotten real once I asked him,
14:10
Speaker 3: And this is not a guy I would ever tell
14:12
Speaker 3: anything to. He's my boy now, But back then, I
14:15
Speaker 3: was like, why did I tell him? What caused me
14:17
Speaker 3: to tell him? It's a fascinating thing because he was
14:20
Speaker 3: the only guy in that whole school that already did
14:21
Speaker 3: a comedy opened and through his information giving, I was
14:24
Speaker 3: able to find find.
14:25
Speaker 2: These And how old were you then?
14:27
Speaker 3: Twenty twenty years twenty twenty?
14:30
Speaker 1: So then you decide, of all places to go, you're
14:32
Speaker 1: gonna choose the hardest place to pursue comedy and the.
14:36
Speaker 2: Most expensive place to live. So you come here, who
14:39
Speaker 2: are you staying with? How are you?
14:41
Speaker 3: I'm staying in a Bushwick apartment. It's this subleasing this
14:47
Speaker 3: one horrific room. It was this guy, the super like
14:51
Speaker 3: gay guy who was also like kind of a drug dealer.
14:55
Speaker 3: I think, so he would like deal drugs, bang dudes.
14:59
Speaker 3: He's small, but he's banging these massive dudes, and you'd
15:02
Speaker 3: always like send him home, and these guys were crying
15:04
Speaker 3: in the kitchen sometimes, scary dude. But I would pay
15:08
Speaker 3: him every month.
15:09
Speaker 2: And he said, but the dude was small. You said,
15:11
Speaker 2: he's small, but he was scary.
15:13
Speaker 3: Scary?
15:13
Speaker 2: How was he scary?
15:14
Speaker 3: You already know those dudes who like small, but they
15:16
Speaker 3: got the eyes or cream, you know, talking about the
15:18
Speaker 3: guys who were like I kill people. I climb up
15:20
Speaker 3: on them and I kill him. Yeah, so he was
15:22
Speaker 3: kind of a fearsome dude. Stayed there five hundred dollars
15:26
Speaker 3: a month rent, no money. That's where I started getting
15:29
Speaker 3: scared of your parents, definitely, and especially a gay drug dealer.
15:36
Speaker 3: What that that's their that's their fear.
15:39
Speaker 2: But they were asking where you were staying at all.
15:41
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I was just saying what I was
15:42
Speaker 3: saying them playing blah bah blah. I was keeping everything
15:44
Speaker 3: very vague just during the time. They didn't like me.
15:46
Speaker 2: Oh so they weren't even talking to you really.
15:48
Speaker 3: For a little bit they were talking. Then I at
15:49
Speaker 3: the earrings. My dad was like, you better get the
15:51
Speaker 3: hell out of my life for a little bit anyway.
15:53
Speaker 3: But then one day I realized that he wasn't using
15:57
Speaker 3: my money to pay anybody. He was using his money
15:59
Speaker 3: for his own self. So the sublease I was given him,
16:02
Speaker 3: he was not even using to pay the rent. Then
16:04
Speaker 3: he got like the cops came and basically locked my door.
16:08
Speaker 3: I couldn't get into it, so I had to go
16:10
Speaker 3: climb up the side of the house to get to
16:13
Speaker 3: my room because he was scared I was gonna confront
16:15
Speaker 3: him or something like that, because he didn't use any
16:17
Speaker 3: of my money, so I was I was also kicked out.
16:20
Speaker 3: So I came up one day the door was locked,
16:22
Speaker 3: couldn't get in, climbed up the side of my house.
16:26
Speaker 3: My knee, Why do I still have the scar?
16:30
Speaker 2: Hilarious?
16:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe right? My knee hit this piece of glass.
16:35
Speaker 3: The knee went straight through the glass. But there's a
16:38
Speaker 3: flap of skin where I could see the bone of
16:40
Speaker 3: my knee. My knee, and I got my stoff got out.
16:46
Speaker 3: My knee was flapped, but the whole meat was like this.
16:48
Speaker 3: It was the meat was like I limped to like
16:51
Speaker 3: there wasn't a poor neighborhood. So I went to Like
16:53
Speaker 3: it wasn't even there's no urgin carre. It was like
16:55
Speaker 3: Joe's bodega and er or whatever. And I went there
16:58
Speaker 3: and I got like patched up and I got stitches
17:00
Speaker 3: on one of these needs. And then I was like
17:02
Speaker 3: homeless for like a couple of days, saying at my
17:04
Speaker 3: front friend's house, who was a dental school in the NYU.
17:06
Speaker 3: And then I was like what do I do? My friend,
17:11
Speaker 3: my boy was a micer and one day he goes
17:15
Speaker 3: up on stage and he's like, I'm gonna kill myself.
17:18
Speaker 3: And after that I asked him. I was like, hey man,
17:21
Speaker 3: I don't know if that was a joke or not,
17:22
Speaker 3: but you should not do that. And he later told me,
17:25
Speaker 3: he's like, bro, you're the only guy in my life
17:28
Speaker 3: that said don't kill yourself. And he happened to have
17:31
Speaker 3: a really nice place in Williamsburg and he was like,
17:36
Speaker 3: the day after I told him to kill himself, I
17:38
Speaker 3: just mentioned that I have no place, and he's like, hey,
17:39
Speaker 3: just stay with me. So it was like the love
17:43
Speaker 3: I gave him came back around again. You see what
17:46
Speaker 3: him saying, Like these small little things in.
17:48
Speaker 2: Life, right, My God was aligning all these little moments.
17:51
Speaker 3: Right. He's like, hey man, you're the only one who
17:53
Speaker 3: ever cared not to say not to kill myself. He
17:55
Speaker 3: had a lot of money just from his family, and
17:58
Speaker 3: so he's like, hey, you can stay here for a
17:59
Speaker 3: little bit. For like three months, stayed there on a
18:02
Speaker 3: couch cushion on the floor, but we gelled so well
18:06
Speaker 3: and it was such a good roommate and we had
18:07
Speaker 3: a great time together. He was like, hey, man, if
18:10
Speaker 3: you want to stay here. He's a single guy. If
18:13
Speaker 3: you want to stay here, you can just stay here,
18:14
Speaker 3: and like, you know, pay me what you want. I
18:16
Speaker 3: was like two hundred dollars. He's like sure. So for
18:19
Speaker 3: the next four years I lived for you know, and.
18:23
Speaker 2: This reason you sleep though you still so it was it.
18:26
Speaker 3: Was the he was a gay thug. Then I lived
18:28
Speaker 3: in a crackhouse after the gay thug for like two
18:31
Speaker 3: years where there's no water supply. It was in Canarsity.
18:33
Speaker 3: It was like foreclosed house in CANARSI stayed there for
18:36
Speaker 3: for two years. You know, no water supply. Had to
18:39
Speaker 3: go to the Planet Fitness to get water back to
18:41
Speaker 3: my place.
18:42
Speaker 2: Why you didn't just shower planet.
18:44
Speaker 3: I did shower a planet, but I need water to like
18:47
Speaker 3: teeth and sort of like, oh yeah, you.
18:50
Speaker 2: Were really tugging this out.
18:51
Speaker 3: All for comedy, all for comedy, but that but that crackhouse,
18:55
Speaker 3: it was like a room. I stayed in the crackhouse
18:57
Speaker 3: and I paid no rent because there was a foreclosed house.
19:00
Speaker 3: Ciphered electricity illegally from Connad like, so we had electricity
19:03
Speaker 3: and it was it was great.
19:05
Speaker 2: And during this time, you're eating bagel.
19:07
Speaker 3: The bagel, the Bagel, so gay thug crack house has
19:10
Speaker 3: one struggle era. Once I got the Williamsburg place with
19:13
Speaker 3: my friend, things started looking up because the crackhouse gave
19:16
Speaker 3: me disposable income because I hadn't I haven't pay any rent. Yeah,
19:19
Speaker 3: so no, rant means every month I'm saving a thousand dollars.
19:22
Speaker 2: Oh you were saving, but you were good with money.
19:25
Speaker 3: Oh you were good with money. I was there.
19:26
Speaker 2: We go, okay, well you actually.
19:30
Speaker 3: You know? Yeah?
19:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, so okay, so crackheaded house, now you're moving up.
19:33
Speaker 1: You get to Williamsburg. Yes, and now you have a
19:36
Speaker 1: roommate situation for four years. Yes, okay. Comedy is skyrocketing
19:40
Speaker 1: at this point.
19:40
Speaker 3: So it's getting better and better, and I finally have
19:42
Speaker 3: some money to like just live. And now I'm past
19:45
Speaker 3: Bagel era at this point. So Bagel's done. Yeah, you
19:50
Speaker 3: seem very happy.
19:50
Speaker 2: For very heavy, very heavy.
19:53
Speaker 3: Bagel Ara is done. Now I add the Schmears. You
19:56
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying, Schmeer type life out here.
19:58
Speaker 1: And what accolades are you achieving a comedy because you've
20:01
Speaker 1: achieved a lot. So are we getting any shout outs
20:03
Speaker 1: to some of those accolades during that period that gave
20:06
Speaker 1: you that reassurance.
20:06
Speaker 3: Yes, So now this put on like twenty seven, twenty seven,
20:10
Speaker 3: and so I'm getting Americans that talent I'm getting I'm
20:13
Speaker 3: winning those comedy competitions that are like in Albany and
20:16
Speaker 3: New York, and I'm like getting some notoriety. I'm getting
20:18
Speaker 3: past the clubs here. That rise is coming. I'm on
20:22
Speaker 3: all different like huff Po, BuzzFeed, I'm doing all these different.
20:25
Speaker 1: Videos and I have to do this. What are your
20:28
Speaker 1: parents saying at this era? They see you winning, but
20:32
Speaker 1: they also don't see the money.
20:33
Speaker 3: Right, so really the reputation is more important than the
20:38
Speaker 3: money first for them or for you for them, right,
20:41
Speaker 3: So for them, it's like they were very like not talking,
20:46
Speaker 3: not talking. Then one of my mom's friends comes to her.
20:50
Speaker 3: She's like, oh I saw him on the TV. And
20:53
Speaker 3: my mom is like, oh, I guess I do love him.
20:57
Speaker 2: It was like a mom proud moment.
21:03
Speaker 3: I love you shit. And then once the auntie started
21:08
Speaker 3: validating it, all of a sudden, because brown Coach is
21:11
Speaker 3: very like, what will people say? That's a huge thing.
21:13
Speaker 3: Money's big, but even more than that is what reputation.
21:16
Speaker 3: So all of a sudden, a little honor was restored
21:19
Speaker 3: and the vibe was getting good. And then and now
21:21
Speaker 3: they're almost too supportive. I wanted to say that right now,
21:24
Speaker 3: that my parents are very supportive now. Such thing is
21:28
Speaker 3: it's weird because you know, like immigrant dads, they don't
21:30
Speaker 3: know how to like be normal. Right, it's either like
21:33
Speaker 3: get out of my house or it's too much. So
21:35
Speaker 3: before it was like I don't want to even see you,
21:38
Speaker 3: and now it's like, you know, I found DNA F
21:41
Speaker 3: his social Security number. I'm like, what, you're going too far?
21:46
Speaker 3: Now use it? Use it. He's like very in it.
21:50
Speaker 3: Now he knows what a pilot season is, like what
21:52
Speaker 3: you love the pilot season. Everybody is pilot season goal.
21:56
Speaker 2: But now you don't have siblings.
21:58
Speaker 3: I do.
22:00
Speaker 1: For the for the younger now, yeah, obviously there was
22:04
Speaker 1: fear that you were going to create this mayhem. Right,
22:07
Speaker 1: so now you have established not only did you break
22:10
Speaker 1: the rule and secure secure the position, but now you've also.
22:18
Speaker 2: Got their support. So right, the little one is so.
22:24
Speaker 3: You ok, Hey, I got you, I got you. So
22:25
Speaker 3: it's like older brother was the fuck up for a
22:27
Speaker 3: long time. He was he was so he was a
22:29
Speaker 3: rebellious one, very intense My mom was very strict on me,
22:33
Speaker 3: so she was like, you are.
22:35
Speaker 2: You remember you're going to.
22:40
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, fucking liveing like not another one.
22:44
Speaker 3: And I saw the last dent for my brother at
22:47
Speaker 3: the Dutch so he was the fuck up. He was
22:50
Speaker 3: crazy and now he's cool. He got married. Now he's
22:52
Speaker 3: like a really good Stalwarts energy that helps the family
22:55
Speaker 3: a lot. But before he was cray right, my parents
22:59
Speaker 3: were very invested in me make it because Noel they
23:02
Speaker 3: had to get there. They had three you know, I
23:05
Speaker 3: can't believe three blanks. Basically that I busted, says my dad.
23:09
Speaker 3: And so Noeh was the first blank. I was not
23:11
Speaker 3: a blank, but I made myself a blank. Jesus arnab
23:15
Speaker 3: my little brother, thank god, he was a tech whiz
23:18
Speaker 3: and so he'd got into coding. He got into and
23:21
Speaker 3: that it makes mad money. He's like, he worked in Amazon,
23:23
Speaker 3: he worked a different AI companies.
23:25
Speaker 1: He's like a really and they were okay with that,
23:26
Speaker 1: even though it's not the tradition, you know, they.
23:31
Speaker 3: You know, I was selfish. I just left. I didn't
23:34
Speaker 3: wait to see if NOELH was okay or my mom
23:37
Speaker 3: was okay. Following your dream is a very selfish concept.
23:39
Speaker 3: It's very, very selfish, and you have to accept that
23:42
Speaker 3: that a lot of people don't follow their dreams because
23:44
Speaker 3: they have like sick moms at home. And that's a
23:45
Speaker 3: good thing. But truth is, if you want to really
23:49
Speaker 3: do this, you have to kind of do it for yourself.
23:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's selfish, but at the same time, kind of
23:55
Speaker 1: going back to what you said with Eagle earlier about
23:59
Speaker 1: like people heye and on you, you kind of have
24:01
Speaker 1: to start with that hating.
24:04
Speaker 2: It's crazy, it sucks. It's at home first right line
24:09
Speaker 2: of rejection.
24:10
Speaker 3: No one hates more than your own fucking family. Man,
24:12
Speaker 3: Jesus Christ. Funny you what, I never loved it once?
24:17
Speaker 3: And go ahead, go now and knock knock? Who's that?
24:22
Speaker 3: How about that? You know it is? It is like that,
24:28
Speaker 3: and it's again it's a lot of love. But love
24:29
Speaker 3: can gnarl up motivation too, because so much love that
24:32
Speaker 3: you don't know what's actually best for the person. So
24:35
Speaker 3: the truth is, when you start in art, the ridiculous constant,
24:39
Speaker 3: it's almost you have to almost be literally insane to
24:42
Speaker 3: believe in yourself because first of all, you suck and
24:45
Speaker 3: everyone says you suck, and they're correct because you are
24:47
Speaker 3: not You're not good, but all you have is this belief,
24:51
Speaker 3: and so you have to traverse that belief over and
24:54
Speaker 3: against logic, against the truth of you being bad. It's
24:58
Speaker 3: a wild concept. And to actually get there. And then
25:02
Speaker 3: of course everyone comes back like I already knew. I
25:04
Speaker 3: always knew it. It was that's from Fred blah blah blah blah.
25:06
Speaker 3: I tat everything everyone knows, and it's like crazy, how
25:10
Speaker 3: insane that beginning is. Because you really have to be delusional.
25:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, you had to be delusional. Now.
25:16
Speaker 1: I know you had a lot of accolades on your journey,
25:19
Speaker 1: but were there ever points in that journey where you
25:22
Speaker 1: were like, I think that there's a chance this isn't
25:25
Speaker 1: for me.
25:27
Speaker 2: Come on. There had to been absolutely.
25:28
Speaker 3: Every every bagel I had, I was you know what
25:30
Speaker 3: I'm saying. I was like, you were.
25:31
Speaker 2: Literally bottling up water.
25:34
Speaker 3: There had to been like, oh, this is imagine. I
25:37
Speaker 3: was like, man, I'm killing it. Then I got two
25:39
Speaker 3: jugs of water and I'm killing it, you know, I was.
25:42
Speaker 3: I was doing that. Planet Fitness had a big.
25:44
Speaker 2: Juga flush the toilets too.
25:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, to p a partty take a ship. I would
25:50
Speaker 3: go to the planet fitness.
25:51
Speaker 2: Were you? I know you're the ladies man.
25:55
Speaker 3: We gotta go there a virgin?
25:56
Speaker 2: So how were you that whole thing? Were you a
25:59
Speaker 2: ladies man? During the homeless there?
26:03
Speaker 3: Yeah? I was out here. I was in the streets.
26:05
Speaker 2: Did they know?
26:06
Speaker 3: One time a girl I was trying to never bring
26:08
Speaker 3: it back to my place because I never had a
26:10
Speaker 3: good place. But one time a girl is like, I
26:12
Speaker 3: can't go into my place, and so I'm taking her
26:13
Speaker 3: back to the crackhouse and so and I'm like in
26:16
Speaker 3: the kuber and I'm like, you know, I got no water.
26:20
Speaker 3: I knew I had no water because I had finished
26:21
Speaker 3: the last little water for the yesterday and twenty minutes.
26:25
Speaker 2: You even consider taking her back? Like what was meant?
26:29
Speaker 3: But I was like, I was like, you know, you know,
26:33
Speaker 3: you know, no, I.
26:34
Speaker 1: Don't because if I know that I'm taking you to
26:37
Speaker 1: the crack house, I'm not.
26:40
Speaker 2: Doing it well.
26:42
Speaker 3: So I was going back to that and I was like,
26:43
Speaker 3: I got no water. I hope she's not thirsty, Please
26:46
Speaker 3: don't want any water. We go into the house, She's
26:48
Speaker 3: like I need water. I'm like, fuck, what do I do?
26:51
Speaker 3: What do I do? We have no water? She was
26:55
Speaker 3: half Asian half like French.
26:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like either way, she said, was need water.
27:03
Speaker 2: She didn't notice anything else wrong.
27:04
Speaker 3: Because the place is not disgusting. It's like a nice
27:06
Speaker 3: because it's like there's like a foreclosed first floor of
27:08
Speaker 3: all the crackheads to hang out, and there was a
27:10
Speaker 3: second floor. I was like, I just gotta have like
27:12
Speaker 3: a nice house. So I had a room in that
27:14
Speaker 3: in that house, and so I take her to the room.
27:16
Speaker 3: She's like, I'm thirsty, and I'm like, fuck, what do
27:19
Speaker 3: I do. I go to the fridge and I'm like,
27:22
Speaker 3: what the fuck, there's juice. There's juice. So I bring
27:27
Speaker 3: her back some juice and you I don't if you
27:29
Speaker 3: know this, but if we drink juice when you're thirsty,
27:31
Speaker 3: now you're more dehydrated. Yes, so now she's even more thirsty,
27:35
Speaker 3: and we fucked and it was probably you. Actually, it
27:40
Speaker 3: was so dry from the from the thirst, I mean,
27:43
Speaker 3: sparks were flying, and it was it was we both
27:47
Speaker 3: passed out. I mean we were with young we were
27:48
Speaker 3: like twenty five, so I like, you know, you're crazy
27:50
Speaker 3: on both hens and then we both go to sleep thirsty.
27:53
Speaker 3: I mean it was it was some refugee level fucking.
27:55
Speaker 3: The next day, I wake up early, I go to
27:57
Speaker 3: play Venis. I get the water before she wakes up.
28:00
Speaker 3: She's like, I'm thirsty, and I'm like, boy, do I
28:01
Speaker 3: have some water? Your boy got water for you? Now
28:06
Speaker 3: drink up.
28:08
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So you were still making it happen.
28:10
Speaker 3: I was not an evil. I was like, it was like,
28:12
Speaker 3: I'm always trying to make the girl feel good always. No.
28:14
Speaker 1: No, I meant like you still had a well rounded life.
28:17
Speaker 1: It wasn't just like straight you had fun during this.
28:20
Speaker 3: Yes, I didn't see myself a struggle guy. If I
28:24
Speaker 3: had a struggle mindset, like oh no, I'm so poor,
28:26
Speaker 3: then I guess I wouldn't have the confidence to hit
28:28
Speaker 3: on a woman. And I usually had the courtesy not
28:30
Speaker 3: to bring it back to my place. It was just
28:31
Speaker 3: never it was not gonna happen without me going back
28:34
Speaker 3: to my place.
28:35
Speaker 1: Do you think it helps to be in an industry where,
28:37
Speaker 1: traditionally comics, you have your majority that are struggling in
28:42
Speaker 1: the process, right, So do you think it helped to say, well,
28:45
Speaker 1: I'm in an industry where honestly being broke is the
28:47
Speaker 1: norm for a long period.
28:49
Speaker 3: It's interesting. I never thought about that. Yeah, the idea
28:52
Speaker 3: that being broke is part of the journey for so
28:54
Speaker 3: many and it's like confirmed by so many stories. WTF.
28:58
Speaker 3: I was linking to a lot of mark my remember
28:59
Speaker 3: that time, and that helped me go through all this
29:01
Speaker 3: because it was every comic had this story of like
29:06
Speaker 3: bombing hard and like I was, And I was bombing
29:09
Speaker 3: hard on those times, so I was like, it made
29:11
Speaker 3: me feel so good to hear them because I was like, oh,
29:14
Speaker 3: it's analogous to my experience. I never thought about my
29:18
Speaker 3: life as detracting from my journey or my self belief.
29:22
Speaker 3: It was never like I was eating that bagel and
29:24
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, this is gonna not work out.
29:26
Speaker 3: It was more like my own ideas. It was more
29:28
Speaker 3: like the jokes, like am I good enough at comedy?
29:31
Speaker 3: Do this? It's never the life events. I was never
29:34
Speaker 3: concerned with my body or my situation shelter wise. I
29:39
Speaker 3: was always just like, is my comedy good enough?
29:41
Speaker 1: Now?
29:41
Speaker 3: I don't recommend this to for a lot of people
29:43
Speaker 3: because to go that extreme, my body fell apart. You know,
29:48
Speaker 3: I was dizzy for a whole month once I was malnourished.
29:51
Speaker 3: You don't want to do that be healthy.
29:53
Speaker 1: And during all this error, when you're going through this,
29:57
Speaker 1: is there any part of you that's like, let me
29:58
Speaker 1: just call and ask.
30:03
Speaker 3: They were not gonna give you money. Well, my dad
30:05
Speaker 3: was in debt because he had been swindled by kind
30:09
Speaker 3: of a business move that he's a genius, true identic memory,
30:12
Speaker 3: he's a true genius. Was in the poorest village of India,
30:16
Speaker 3: Bengali's speaking part of India growing up, and he made
30:19
Speaker 3: his way through just pure genius alone. But not a
30:21
Speaker 3: good people person always doesn't really see the snakes in
30:24
Speaker 3: the water, right, So he was kind of thrown out
30:27
Speaker 3: of some money that he put a lot of money into,
30:29
Speaker 3: like he invested, and it was not good. He was
30:30
Speaker 3: not a businessman, he's not shrewd in that way. So
30:34
Speaker 3: he was he had no money to give me or
30:36
Speaker 3: now my little brother was still in college, Noel was
30:38
Speaker 3: just graduating undergrad because he had just started getting his
30:41
Speaker 3: life together. The whole family was in chaos. There was
30:44
Speaker 3: no money anywhere. And in that time period I left.
30:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're not telling them also that you're drowning.
30:49
Speaker 3: Ohay no, no. So it was a weird, turbulent time
30:52
Speaker 3: because there was no money in the family, and even
30:54
Speaker 3: though a good son would have just stayed and helped,
30:57
Speaker 3: I was like, no, I'm out of here. So there's
31:00
Speaker 3: shame there in terms of like what I did at
31:02
Speaker 3: that time. Now not now. Now it's all love this
31:04
Speaker 3: money everywhere. My dad does a good job. It's like
31:07
Speaker 3: it's all good. No arn up banking. You know, there's
31:10
Speaker 3: a time when I had to give my dad some
31:11
Speaker 3: money for a little bit. But he's he's very very
31:13
Speaker 3: good now and it's like he works and has a
31:15
Speaker 3: government job. It's all good. But that time period was
31:18
Speaker 3: definitely a struggle time.
31:19
Speaker 2: So but during that point when you chose purpose, there
31:24
Speaker 2: was that bag of shame that.
31:26
Speaker 3: Was like not sea, but it was. It was, Yeah,
31:28
Speaker 3: it was. It was a bag of shame. It was
31:30
Speaker 3: like purpose was there, but it was like I was
31:32
Speaker 3: so blindered the whole Dad woke up and I was
31:34
Speaker 3: like comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy, comany.
31:37
Speaker 2: I also kind of knew you had to make it
31:38
Speaker 2: work because you.
31:42
Speaker 1: Had no If you didn't make it work, oh my god,
31:44
Speaker 1: you would have been no shade to your older brother,
31:47
Speaker 1: but you would have been like the.
31:48
Speaker 2: Chapter of he messed up his life, but he then
31:51
Speaker 2: turned it around and he went to medal schools. Whatever.
31:54
Speaker 3: Damn man, My dad's like, why did we come here?
31:56
Speaker 3: We could have just done this at home, and we
31:58
Speaker 3: gotta have done this at home.
32:00
Speaker 1: What was like a defining moment where that you could
32:02
Speaker 1: take back where you thought, for sure, okay, that's it,
32:05
Speaker 1: I e f and quit. I'm that AnGR or bitter like?
32:08
Speaker 1: Was there a moment where it was like, for sure
32:10
Speaker 1: a challenging time.
32:12
Speaker 3: I never thought I was gonna quit in my life,
32:14
Speaker 3: That's one thing. It was never that there were times
32:18
Speaker 3: where I had to steal food from grocery stores. That
32:21
Speaker 3: was a moment where I was like, what's going on here?
32:23
Speaker 3: You know? I since the moment I started comedy, I
32:26
Speaker 3: was like, I'm gonna do this till I die. Regardless
32:28
Speaker 3: of what happens. I just don't care. I'm just when
32:31
Speaker 3: I chose to devote my life to this thing, I
32:33
Speaker 3: was like, that's complete, and that's total, and throw all
32:36
Speaker 3: the ups and downs. I'm going to just do it
32:39
Speaker 3: with every ounce of my being. The one time I
32:42
Speaker 3: thought it was gonna be over was when I was
32:44
Speaker 3: dizzy for a month and I thought I had some
32:46
Speaker 3: sort of terminal disease, and I was like, dude, I'm
32:48
Speaker 3: gonna die. I didn't get to do all the things
32:50
Speaker 3: I wanted to do. But I was also like, it's
32:52
Speaker 3: weird we has a twenty three year old at the time.
32:54
Speaker 3: I was like accepting too. I was like, well, you
32:56
Speaker 3: know truthfully, because I really I was gonna die because
32:59
Speaker 3: I'd never experience that. It's a wild thing to be dizzy.
33:02
Speaker 3: I would go to sleep dissy, I'd wake up dizzy,
33:04
Speaker 3: go to sleep again, dizzy, wake up busy. For a month,
33:06
Speaker 3: I was just like, what the heck, and so how.
33:08
Speaker 2: Did you figure out?
33:10
Speaker 3: I want a doctor? And he was like, they did
33:12
Speaker 3: an algae test on me. They did I At the
33:14
Speaker 3: end of the month, I finally at the doctor and
33:15
Speaker 3: then they were like, you have nothing. You just need
33:18
Speaker 3: to have one meal and you'll be fine. And then
33:22
Speaker 3: I started eating finally, and this is my other arm,
33:26
Speaker 3: the one the wire was the other arm. I was, oh,
33:30
Speaker 3: my god, I'll send a picture maybe if I find it.
33:32
Speaker 3: It's just on my arms. It was so skinny. And
33:36
Speaker 3: once I went before before I wanted the doctor did before.
33:38
Speaker 3: I was so depressed and I was like, am I
33:42
Speaker 3: just gonna be dizzy and I'm gonna die of something
33:45
Speaker 3: early like what that was a real moment where it
33:49
Speaker 3: was super sad and I was like, dude, I'm I'm
33:53
Speaker 3: just gonna die before I can do all this stuff.
33:55
Speaker 3: And then I was like, you know what, I found
33:58
Speaker 3: a little light. I was like, Leslie, so the doctor
34:00
Speaker 3: ones just to just to see what's going on. And
34:03
Speaker 3: then he was like, just eat meals. And to me,
34:05
Speaker 3: that wouldn't even occur to me because it was so
34:07
Speaker 3: comedy coded of it. My life was comedy, I didn't think.
34:11
Speaker 2: And also when you're young, you kind of like.
34:13
Speaker 3: Bro Eagle too, eating like dollars license and then like
34:17
Speaker 3: one cinnabun for the whole day. Ah man, Jesus Christ.
34:21
Speaker 2: I do have one particular question.
34:23
Speaker 1: It was sometimes most of the time, when you set
34:25
Speaker 1: out on a purpose, you have like these little deals
34:29
Speaker 1: with yourself. Like for me, I think it was like
34:31
Speaker 1: if I have a kid, that is when.
34:33
Speaker 2: I'll just give up.
34:35
Speaker 1: Okay, I will stop because I have to choose them
34:38
Speaker 1: before myself, like or or once I hit a certain age,
34:41
Speaker 1: if I don't make it by this point, I quit.
34:43
Speaker 1: Did you have a milestone in mind or deal with
34:46
Speaker 1: yourself that was like, okay, if I don't hit this.
34:48
Speaker 1: Obviously you kept going, but I'm just saying, was there
34:51
Speaker 1: any set path, the deal that you made within yourself
34:53
Speaker 1: that said okay, if this XYZ happens, that's when I
34:57
Speaker 1: will say enough is enough.
34:59
Speaker 3: U I got you, I got you. Yeah, no way.
35:02
Speaker 2: You didn't make any little deals with yourself.
35:05
Speaker 3: I get I made fake deal with my mom. I
35:07
Speaker 3: told her fake shit like if I'm not married by thirty,
35:10
Speaker 3: I'll just do it. I'll just get married for you.
35:12
Speaker 3: And she's like, okay, good good night. Ton thirty, she's
35:14
Speaker 3: like coming to collect. I'm like what, So.
35:19
Speaker 1: You didn't have any deal. So you were like, you know,
35:21
Speaker 1: get rich or die trying. You were like get this
35:24
Speaker 1: comedy and that's it. There's no backup.
35:27
Speaker 2: But there was no.
35:28
Speaker 1: Even like if I have a kid, I will go
35:30
Speaker 1: back to medical school one time.
35:32
Speaker 3: One time. Oh, you know, you're right, you're right, you're right.
35:34
Speaker 3: I was messing with this Dominican girl in Washington Heights
35:37
Speaker 3: and one day she hits me up and it was
35:41
Speaker 3: April Fool's Day and she's like I'm pregnant and I'm
35:46
Speaker 3: like I was like such a kid. I was like,
35:49
Speaker 3: all right, whatever you need, I'm here for you, blah blah.
35:51
Speaker 3: And she's like she's like happy able Fool's Day. And
35:54
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, I thought you were pregnant
35:57
Speaker 3: Jesus Christ. She's like, no, I still might be. I
35:58
Speaker 3: was just wishing you we have people fool. And I
36:00
Speaker 3: was like, so for the whole week she's like, come
36:03
Speaker 3: to my house and wit to see if I'm pregnant.
36:06
Speaker 3: And that whole week I was like it could be
36:08
Speaker 3: over because she literally made me believe that she had
36:11
Speaker 3: a kid by me. And I was like I was
36:14
Speaker 3: like imagining like logistics, like maybe I'll quit for a
36:16
Speaker 3: little bit and then we start her grandma lives here.
36:19
Speaker 3: Maybe just we can use as a babysitter while I
36:22
Speaker 3: go to shows. Maybe I get a couple more than
36:24
Speaker 3: I use them as bringers, you know, I make a
36:26
Speaker 3: couple more kids and I use them for bringer shows.
36:28
Speaker 3: I was thinking all these logistics. That was the closest
36:31
Speaker 3: I ever got to like really being like do I
36:33
Speaker 3: quit for a second to raise this kid? Because I
36:35
Speaker 3: really was like ready to raise this kid. On the
36:38
Speaker 3: way I was on the way on the one train
36:40
Speaker 3: up to Washington Heights. That that stop where the McDonald's
36:43
Speaker 3: is right next to the stop, that's where all the
36:45
Speaker 3: hoes that, by the way, be safe out there. That one.
36:48
Speaker 3: That one stop in up Upper West or Washington Heights
36:50
Speaker 3: where you get off in the McDonald's right there. Watch
36:53
Speaker 3: out for any woman that's around that area. They're crazy.
36:56
Speaker 3: But she was. She was in that area, and I
36:58
Speaker 3: was like going up there that day, like just ready
37:00
Speaker 3: for a kid. It's so crazy. And I was like, yeah, yeah,
37:04
Speaker 3: was raise this kid. And then I go to a
37:07
Speaker 3: place and then she's like, I'm not pregnant. I think
37:10
Speaker 3: I cried. I think I cried. And it was so
37:14
Speaker 3: I was so gratitude heavy that she got pissed off.
37:17
Speaker 3: He's like, oh, you don't want to hear you know
37:19
Speaker 3: what if I say you end, we never saw your
37:21
Speaker 3: other gag because you're so offended. How happy I was
37:23
Speaker 3: that I was not having her kid?
37:25
Speaker 1: Who man, you know what, I think that's what makes
37:29
Speaker 1: you unstoppable. I think the fact that you didn't have
37:33
Speaker 1: a even I don't think there was a material thing
37:36
Speaker 1: or a even though the family scared.
37:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, you were thinking more logistic.
37:40
Speaker 1: Yeah you're not quitting like how can I negotiate this
37:43
Speaker 1: life feel where I can still keep this thing? I
37:46
Speaker 1: think that's what makes you unstoppable. Thank you for sending
37:50
Speaker 1: me on this bagel hunt.
37:52
Speaker 3: This is your struggle day, This is her struggle right
37:54
Speaker 3: here finding one bagel?
37:56
Speaker 2: Where can everybody keep up with everything?
37:59
Speaker 3: Is something I just want to say that. Thank you.
38:00
Speaker 3: This is great to Thanks for the last minute trauma.
38:03
Speaker 3: Thank you your.
38:04
Speaker 1: Story was just as beautiful. I don't think anyone could
38:08
Speaker 1: have told your story quite as beautiful, artistically funny.
38:11
Speaker 2: As you did. Like I was done all I watched this.
38:16
Speaker 2: I can go back and watch this.
38:17
Speaker 3: It's crazy man and her brother, Ego, one of my
38:20
Speaker 3: best friends in my life, we had the same kind
38:22
Speaker 3: of come up as well. So it's very special to
38:24
Speaker 3: talk to you about this because your your brother was
38:26
Speaker 3: literally saw this whole thing.
38:28
Speaker 1: So I just so you know, I would come to
38:29
Speaker 1: New York and Ego would be like, Yo, can I
38:31
Speaker 1: get a dollar? It was just for like some slices
38:35
Speaker 1: of pizza. And he would stay with my dad, and
38:38
Speaker 1: I just remember just being like, yo, he's struggling, and
38:41
Speaker 1: my brothers and sisters they would be like, he's so spoiled,
38:45
Speaker 1: like he has he has all this right, and you
38:47
Speaker 1: go to New York and this bro would be like
38:49
Speaker 1: had Las struggling for a dollar slices of pizza. So
38:52
Speaker 1: he was like, Yo, it's gotta be this hot sauce.
38:55
Speaker 1: Sama would be like, I get the slice of pizza,
38:58
Speaker 1: poor hot sauce on it, and nests like pepperoni.
39:01
Speaker 3: And that was the thing I was re is vegetables.
39:05
Speaker 3: You see what I'm saying, Like you figure it out.
39:07
Speaker 3: Follow me at Usama stands up us A m A
39:10
Speaker 3: stands up on TikTok Instagram, and then I do shows
39:14
Speaker 3: all around a tour nationally. Come check me out, and.
39:17
Speaker 2: Sometimes you do. Come to LA. So if you guys
39:19
Speaker 2: want to actually.
39:20
Speaker 3: Laugh, there's five good comics there, Okay, a couple.
39:26
Speaker 1: I think Craig con is pretty good, really funny. Taylor
39:29
Speaker 1: Ron Taylor is not there anymore. He's in Texas.
39:31
Speaker 3: He's in Texas. Ronto's hilarious. Some of the big guys
39:33
Speaker 3: who go there, who look famous, they stay in LA.
39:35
Speaker 3: They're pretty funny. Obviously, Bill Burr, he's blah blah blah,
39:38
Speaker 3: but is one of my favorites.
39:41
Speaker 2: Sebastian is my favorite.
39:42
Speaker 1: Look let me just tell you something. Bill Burr is
39:45
Speaker 1: my ultimate favorite. Yeah, but Sebastian, so.
39:48
Speaker 3: People think he's like dumb. Now listen, when you got
39:51
Speaker 3: huge and massively famous, some of the dumbest Jersey people
39:55
Speaker 3: kind of glommed on him. And now he's maybe not
39:57
Speaker 3: as smart as he used to be. Fine, anyone who
40:00
Speaker 3: gets famous gets broader. Okay, watch Aren't You Embarrassed? It's
40:04
Speaker 3: the It's the special with his like the V neck,
40:07
Speaker 3: pink sweater. There's no better bit with act out combinations
40:12
Speaker 3: writing on the on a thousand, he was the highest
40:16
Speaker 3: beforegot famous, Right before he got famous, that special Aren't
40:18
Speaker 3: You Embarrassed? It's so creative and heavy on the bits
40:22
Speaker 3: and so active and character heavy. It's the best special
40:26
Speaker 3: I think on Earth and easy at Usama stands up
40:33
Speaker 3: and follow my podcast, man, go Bay, my boy? Poor enough?
40:36
Speaker 2: All right, thank you guys for tuning in. Peace Out