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S5 Ep8: My Explosive Travel Companion 🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: So, what do you think about Dublin so far?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_02: Uh duh du this is the land of beer.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: I know we're going to Israel soon, but while we've been here in Dublin, I've seen pubs everywhere, so I'm pretty sure this is the holy land.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: And this is the biggest alcoholics anonymous meeting I've ever been to.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: I had a joke.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: What do you call women in Ireland?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what do you call women in Ireland.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: You call them women, you childrenist bastard.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: We landed in Belfast the other day, and I'm like, what?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: Belfast?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: Am I here for a job interview?
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: I love Dublin.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: I would never do anything evil to Dublin.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: I'm afraid of the soccer fans.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: But have you looked at this audience?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: Closely.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_02: When the lights are up, yes.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: I am made entirely out of the bone and teeth, and my color actually blends in.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, Ahmed, look, as everybody was coming in tonight, they were given an opportunity or two to ask you a question.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: And uh uh everybody wrote them down, and before the show we grabbed a handful, and I think you should answer them.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, go! Alright, dear Achhmed, does Guinness go right through you?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: You asshole! Yes! And so does potatoes, corned beef and fucking sunlight.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: All right, Victor! A very important question.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: Victor, is this legitimate?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okie dokie.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: What?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: You really want to do this?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: From Victor.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: It says, Dear Achmed, would you help me propose to my girlfriend?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: Next question.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just kidding.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: Victor, can we turn on house lights, please?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: House lights.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: The guys working the lights that are smoking weed.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: Turn on the fucking lights.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: There he is.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Victor! Before you do this, think this through.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, alright, let's hear it.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is the saddest thing I have ever seen.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: I read the other day that Scotland is actually the I've saved this fact for you, the murder capital of Europe.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't do it! I have nothing to do with this shit!
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_02: Did you know that bagpipes have existed in Scotland since the 14th century?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: That is hardly about the time the murder rate went up.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: Did you know that I think my mother was tart Scottish?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: Uh why do you say that?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes she'd want to put me in Scottish clothing.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: Oh sure, she'd say, I kilt you.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Kilt, kilt, kid, kilt, I kilt you.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: Jackie Dawson, Jackie, where are you?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: Jackie, lay off the testosterone.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: You sound like a fucking guy.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_02: You scared the shit out of everyone around, dude.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Where's Jackie?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: This is why in my country we cover our women.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: Where are you?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: M Mari?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: Right, I can't roll my arms.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: Don't worry, I got it.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: Last name Christy, is she here?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: Up there.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: With the guy that sounds like a chick.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: She says, uh, dear Achman, I have a problem with strange people touching me.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: I would love to tell them I will kill them, but that can come across as rude.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: Any other suggestions?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: Put your clothes back on and get off the pole.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: How do I look?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: You look good.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, okay, okay.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: All right, now explain everyone.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, wait, we're gonna get come back, come back.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Come back.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're one of the guys.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: I really want to love me.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: Is it the red cape?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: Is that d is that something wrong with that?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: Is it did I say ham?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, your name is offensive, dun ham Is he coming back?
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: Did he have to go potty?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: Do you pick it up or pull it down?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: Or is there a little flap?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: I have no idea if we're offending anybody, just stop.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: How can I go home in a suitcase?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: You're right, I'd let her watch your you could be going home in a box, too.
• 7:12
  unknown: Oh yeah.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: You're back.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: I was so worried, I thought I'd said something to offend you, and you said, Oh, I love it.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: Goodbye.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I figure some fucking shoes gonna come flying up here and oh, that would be good, because then I would have the other one greetings, Adulati infant! I mean folks silence! I kill you what the hell?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: What I threatened to kill them, they all go, yeah.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: I think some of them actually like you here.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: You know, since being here, I've been starting to rethink the whole suicide bummer thing.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: How's that?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: I blew myself up to get a new place and a few virgins.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: Meanwhile, eight guys in the front row here have five mansions each, a bunch of hot wives, and their own skin.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: I had no idea these options were available.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: I love you guys.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: Good night.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Look, I don't want to start a ride or anything, but I want all the uh hot Icelandic women to know I'm easy.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: The only problem is Jeff will have to come along too.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm happily married.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: Not my problem.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: Did you know that every single city in Iceland is named after the sound a cat makes when throwing up a hairball?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_02: I learned that.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's not true.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: Regular.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: There it is.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: My favorite person in Iceland is a guy named Half Thor.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: He should be called Hol Thor because he won the strongest man in Iceland and in Europe.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't test him, but I believe it.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: It was a little awkward walking around with a guy because he pulls trucks and I have dolls.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: Game of Thrones, right?
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: So who do you play in Game of Thrones?
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: Uh the mountain.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: The mountain.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: In uh in uh season four.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: Well that makes sense.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: It wouldn't be good if you were like the stick.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: So you're the mountain.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: You're the mountain.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_02: And you're a Viking, I'm a ventriloquist.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_02: So we have nothing in common.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: How far could you actually throw me?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: You wanna try?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't want to try.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: What do you think about Iceland?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, do they have beer?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: My favorite place ever.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: You know, even though it's named Iceland, did you know that the winters here are actually fairly mild?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_02: Guess they should have called it chili.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's a joke, Half Thorn.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: If you eat too much, will you be three-quarters, Thor?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_02: I did a fraction.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: That was good.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: Have you seen the the colors of the Icelandic flag?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh no, I haven't seen it.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: There's red for the volcanic fires.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's good.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: Blue for the mountains in the distance, yeah.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: And white for the people.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: So have you enjoyed being here in Iceland?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: I hate the volcanoes.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: Things blowing up naturally?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: If this gets popular, I'd be out of the job.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: If one goes off lying here, I'm taking credit for it.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: See that pile of smoke and ash?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: I did that.