Latest / The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast / 438. 10 Simple Things You Can Do To Have A More Passionate Intimate Life!

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438. 10 Simple Things You Can Do To Have A More Passionate Intimate Life! · The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: You are listening to the Ultimate Intestine Podcast, where we discuss how to fight ultimate equity in your relationship.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: We believe that no matter how many years you have been married, you can fight passion, happiness, and romance at any stage of your life.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: Join us as we have discussions in all areas of interest.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Interview marriage professionals and people who are just spot out fun.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Our podcast is for all couples looking to transform their 10 things you should do to have a better intimate life.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: What's the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast this year?
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're saying not next year.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: It won't help next year.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think that we need to focus on one step at a time in our marriages.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Make it easy, right?
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we should just jump all in.
• 0:58
  unknown: Yeah.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think most couples want like baby steps.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what are one simple thing I can do to change my marriage, right?
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's kind of worked for us.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like year 12, we're like disconnected, feeling like roommates, having, you know, going through some serious stuff.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: And we changed one thing.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: We started going on date night every Friday night.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: That changed our marriage.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, I just think like baby steps, pick one of these 10 things, and I bet it will help improve your intimate life this year.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: What does baby steps even mean?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't a baby crawl?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, when they're they're still babies when they start walking, they take one step at a time and they sit down, and then they get this five steps at a time, and then they sit down, and then one day they just stand up and they go, right?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of like marriage.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great analogy.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Do you love that?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because like baby step, like you take one step, you change date night, and then you get that as turn it into a habit.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: And then a month later, you're like, I'm ready for step two, and then you turn it into a habit.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and yeah, okay.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: That makes sense.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's gonna make sense.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Perfect.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's what they say when they say baby steps.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if you want to change your marriage, do it with baby steps, and sort of being like, you have to do all 10 of these things every single week, or your marriage is in trouble.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: A baby takes one step and then it craps its pants, and yeah, it has an explosion, and you gotta go change it and fix things, and then you change it, and it takes another step or two.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: So you're saying it's like that process, like you're gonna have-sometimes in your marriage, you might have an explosion.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're just gonna have crap happen and you gotta change whatever that crap is.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Leave it to you to give an analogy like that.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Leave it to me.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, yeah, we'll move on.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: That was a that was pretty bad analogy.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, anyways.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, if you're listening and you're like, really, really, either one of us, if you're like, really, I mean you just said that, or like he warned you in our bio that Nick will probably say things he regrets.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: I know I have, but he warned you of his.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: So you chose to keep listening.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: You can judge me all you want, but I warned you.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: He warned you.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: He warned you.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe this is a good day to throw out the disclaimer.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: We're not therapists.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I don't identify as a therapist.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to think of a couple battery views.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yes, I have cut him off before.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: We're married, he's cut me off too.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, we're a couple, we're a normal couple.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we don't really get political.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: I've made some comments.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: I made one joke one time.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: I made one joke, and oh my goodness, you would have thought.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I thought the mob was gonna be showing up at the house.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like a horrible comment for that.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um people are so I have someone leave a review that said Amy like doesn't realize she could have an amazing sex life if she just fixed her hormone.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: She like just cares to his needs.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, literally, we talk about both people's needs.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need to fix anything that I don't feel like is broken personally.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, we have an amazing intimate life.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's why we created the app, that's why we have the products that we sell.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, obviously, we do, or I wouldn't be initiating ever, right?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and we like we're real, like we're experiencing the same things that most of you out there are experiencing, but you can still have a great marriage.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, right, it's okay if I am a high desire and she's a low desire.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we figured it out.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's working talk about it.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: We had a discussion for two hours in our hot tub about it the other night.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we sure did.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: We practice what we preach.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that our marriage is perfect, and but we try, we work real hard at it, and that's why we share what we share is how to find ultimate intimacy in a relationship.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: It does take work, and sometimes we have disagreements, anyways.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, we're real.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't want to hear from real people, not the podcast for you, but we did add in there are certain topics we don't feel like we can discuss.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: And we have brought in our favorite therapist every Friday episode from now on, starting a few weeks ago, for the deeper conversations where we felt like we really needed to dive into these with an expert.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: So hopefully, hopefully, if you're like, okay, I just want to spice up my awesome marriage I already have, and we can give tips, you know, like when we were like really feel broken in our marriage.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: We we did some things, we implemented some things, and we talked about that.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: But Tuesdays are me and Nick.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: There, Fridays are gonna be ask a therapist, your questions, answers for you.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: Anyways, that's kind of the route we're going.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, can I move on?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, today is a passionate Tuesday podcast episode.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Passionate podcast episode.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: This is gonna bring more passion.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: So we're talking about the 10 things I have a list that will change your intimate life if you even just pick a couple of these.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: We're not making it too hard on you.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: You just decide you're like, I like that one.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: I love you.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: I want to do that one.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: I like you.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: I like where you're going.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: This is not some big list that's like impossible.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: So number one is initiate once a week.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Once a week?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Who came up with this list?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Well, oh, you're saying baby steps.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm saying if both of you initiate once a week, that's two times a week.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: I totally, totally.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: If your wife, this is where I might get in trouble, someone's gonna get mad at me.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you are a lower drive spouse, which is fine, and that's really, really hard for you, then change it to work for you.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's once a month, maybe it's every other week.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, just try a little bit harder.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's the point.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I like it.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of nights where I'm like, I'm not gonna think about that.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's gonna be hard.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a responsive desire, he's a spontaneous desire.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't need to feel bad just because I don't initiate all the time.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm responsive to that, and that works.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: So just try if you're a lower drive, just try to initiate a little more often.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: I will try to do a better job.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Nick is definitely not the lower drive.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, okay, you have anything to say on that?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, I think that's great.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's great.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a really hard one to do, but that's what makes it a challenge.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Try once a week, husband, try once a week, two times a week.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you're golden.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's great advice.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's great advice, and I give myself that advice because sometimes that's really hard for me.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of wives that are lower dry that are like, I'm not in the mood, I'm not gonna initiate.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: Just try it.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: Just try it and see what happens.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: Just try it.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: These are just tries, right?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't like that one, skip that one.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Here's number two.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't like that one, skip that number, skip that.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm telling them to pick a couple.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: So if it baby steps, right?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: That should be one that you should pick.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just let's you're gonna say that about every one of them, though.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, uh, you should.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying you have to.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: You should.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: You should.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: You should exactly you should.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, next thing you should.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Number two is it'd be excited to be intimate.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, yeah, you should.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: He's gonna say that all of them.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: I did a post or a video like a few weeks ago, and I was like, sometimes, ladies, you have and then sometimes you have to fake it in your marriage.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, No, I'm not talking about that kind of faking.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say, I've never faked it, ever.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm talking about sometimes you have to fake it, being excited, or like, I really want to make love to you tonight, even if you're not thinking about it, fake it until you make it sometimes.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, so I'm not saying that in a dishonest way, I'm just saying act excited and see if that doesn't actually change your mindset about it.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: Positive mindset, right?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it all there's sometimes they say, like, wake up and be like, just I'm gonna be like, A great example, a great example of this.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Uh oh.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like we would get in fights in November, uh, hated doing it, didn't want to do it, didn't do it, didn't do it many years, and it would cause fights and this and that.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now, now, what do I do?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even have to ask.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't even have to ask.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm running outside with the lights, and she's he's faking it.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: He's faking to be excited about it.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: But just the point you're hitting on is like changing your mindset, right?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's not my favorite thing to do, but my mindset, I'm like, I know this is gonna make Amy so happy, and I want to make Amy happy, I truly do.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that I'm being serious.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: It only took him 15 years, it only took me 15 years, but I am being serious on this, like knowing that it makes her happy, like I've changed my mindset, and that was the key is I changed my mindset.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yeah, this isn't my favorite thing to do, but it makes her happy, and that's really what matters.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: And for the other guy out there listening, um, I did take her ballroom dancing as well, too.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that wasn't so what I expected it to be, but but you tried and it was great.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so my point is if you change your mindset and be like, you know what, maybe it's not my favorite thing to do.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, every year I jump out, I put the Christmas lights up, I I do it because I'm like and I'm excited to do it because I know it makes her happy.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: Every time I turn them on all winter long, I'm so happy.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the analogy to wives or husbands who have a lower drive.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Either way, we understand it goes both ways.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: The second she turns those lights on, she gets turned on.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because not technically, but okay.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: What we're trying to say is if you be excited to do something and you learn how much it means to your spouse, even if you're not thinking about it constantly, like they are, maybe, it can just change your marriage.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad you interpreted it that way, because that's exactly what I meant.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: Glad we're on the same level here.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Totally.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: Next one, number three.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, don't treat intimacy like a chore, which goes with the next one because there have been many days that I have done that.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: I am 100% guilty of that.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: We anyone with a little bit lower drive.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I had a negative comment on our podcast, a review, and she's just like, I can't believe that she thinks that she I know that I can change my drive.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: I know that I can go pump my body full of testosterone and drugs to fix my hormones, that even though they say that they're fine, like I know I can do those things.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: But it works for us for me to just be positive and be a responsive desired spouse.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm okay with that.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't like to throw stuff in my body, okay?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's just personal, but I'm not letting my sex life and our intimate life suffer because of that.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: So before you like throw all these comments at me, like, go get your hormones checked and fix.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I have working, working on it, okay?
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, do I need to expand on anything?
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, that's great.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: So, don't treat it like a chore.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: I think that the whole point of that one is to kind of try once again to shift your mindset about it.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is good for our marriage.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: I can actually try, like, just like if it's if you're feeling like it's a chore, figure out why, like, fix it.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just like the Christmas lights, honestly.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm being serious about this.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Just like the Christmas lights.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I changed my mindset and I focused on instead of like it being about me, I focused it on it's important to you.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: And as I as I do something, or and and Christmas lights, just one example.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: There's obviously a lot of things that we do in marriage that we don't love doing, but it's important to our spouse.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: When I see Amy happy because of that, I'm like, that makes me happy, right?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so change just changing your mindset, it doesn't all of a sudden mean that, oh, you have to be jumping up and down for it.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Just means like, hey, I recognize this is important for our marriage, this is important for my spouse.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm gonna try to, I'm gonna try to make make it feel like it's important and try to, you know, make it a priority.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then when we're talking about like fake it so you make it, like I'm I'm talking attitude.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking like, and you can change your attitude.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're treating being intimate like a chore, then it's probably like something is disconnecting you from it.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's either not feeling emotional, it's not feeling good, you're not enjoying it like he or she is, it's not the same level of physical enjoyment, spiritual enjoyment.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's the whole point of like everything we we promote is is figure out what that deeper issue is so you can enjoy it together, right?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever that disconnect is, we want you to figure out what that is.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: That might be a physical thing, that might be emotional thing.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: For most women, I would say it's not that they're they're not spontaneous like men, right?
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not that they don't, it's not that they don't enjoy it once they get into it, it's that the mindset of getting into it, right?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: And again, we've talked about this a million times.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's the whole purpose of throughout the history of the world of foreplay, right?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like most women, that's not on their mind, but that's why there's so many tools and techniques and different things uh couples can do to get the spouse in the mood.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Number four way, the number fourth way thing you can do to change your intimate life is to put your phone down.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: Unless you're on the app.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: But we'll talk about that one later.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: Put your phone down.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: I really think that people underestimate the importance of putting your phone down in your marriage at a certain time of day.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Just, and I know there's all these funny rules, like marriage really is just laying in bed together and sending each other reels.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be that way.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, let's fix that, right?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if if you want more emotional connection, and and if that's how you feel connected to each other, that's fine.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying that's wrong if it works for you.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: But a lot of couples are saying that my wife would rather be on her phone or my husband would rather be on his video games, or vice versa, like those kind of things.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I think there will be more passion and connection in marriage if people put their phones down.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I I know we've talked about this a million times, so yeah, I don't think we need to stand on that.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's obvious, right?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's obvious, it's obvious, but that's a really big deal.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: And if you did it for two weeks where at 7 p.m.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: your phones were gone, I bet you would find yourself connecting more, being intimate more playing a board game.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you didn't have technology and you're like, what should we do?
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: I bet you'd be pretty creative.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: And creativity builds intimacy.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, I love what you just said.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, we just did a podcast episode on curiosity and how it changes all areas of intimacy, right?
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: The next one, number five, Nick's gonna be like, Yes.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: Lock the bedroom door more often.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, I when he sees me walk to the bedroom door at night and I push the lock button, he's like, Oh, it's go time.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I well, I have mixed feelings because if we had locked our bedroom door the two times your mom was in town, we wouldn't have those funny experiences to share with our audience.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: We couldn't lock it, it was broken, or we would have locked it.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: No, we don't want any more of those experiences.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know we we're at a point in life where we don't want any more of those experiences.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I like it.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, it is true though.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: The second Amy locks the door, I'm like, She loves me.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: She loves me.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what to say.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: She loves me.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: She loves me.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: I uh whether you're the high drive wife, the lower drive wife, whatever you are, like the lower drive spouse, if you go lock the door and turn around, your spouse is gonna be like, they love me.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: They love me.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: I climbed into bed the other night and she's just laying there, and you know, usually I'll put my hand on her or something and oh stop, okay, no more.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Stop.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what you're gonna say.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: You said you said stop, so I'm stuck with it.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, why does he need to stop?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: You're so proud.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's nothing bad.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: She was laying naked in bed, and nobody wants to know that.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: No, uh it surprised me because Okay, if your lower drive spouse just climb in bed naked once in a while, they'll be like, She loves me.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, she loves me.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, she loves me.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Next one, we've had an entire episode on this.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: Shower together every day or as often as you can.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think people realize how just climbing in the shower together.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: I don't care if your shower is like tiny, like then you're even closer together.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: Shower together, shower together.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it seldom becomes sexual, and that's okay.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like Amy and I can't be, or it can be, but Amy and I have some of our best conversations when we're in the shower.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: Talk about that, yep.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: Shower together.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's something that will change your intimate life if it's struggling, or if you just want to spice it up, either way.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: The next one is kiss each other more like you mean it.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really bad at this one.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna act like we have this perfect marriage.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: I keep saying doing these kissing challenges, and then I fail to take them the entire time or whatever.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, not just a I love you every day, like a real kiss.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: And usually that happens, you know, those certain nights.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: That's when you actually kiss.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: But like on a normal day when he's leaving for work, or you're leaving for work, or you're just saying goodbye for some reason.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or she wishes I was leaving for work.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sometimes.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: So we're on video right now.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to show the audience what that kissing challenge would look like?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, anyways, kiss each other like you mean.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about the kissing that you did when you were dating.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know what I'm talking about.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm talking about.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even need to expand on that.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: The real kissing.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm starting to get hot right now.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just thinking of that.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, cool myself down.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: The eighth way to change your intimate life fast or slowly is to play the Ultimate Intimacy app.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that'll change it fast.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: You can play the bedroom game created by experts, or you can literally just get more emotionally connected and go start talking to each other, and that is going to help your intimate life.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: This one goes both ways.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: If you're missing, if the wife's like, no, I don't have the emotional connection that I need in my marriage.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: The app should be able to help with that if he's on board and does his either way.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: You can have the emotional connection and the physical connection at the same time going on.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: You can't, truth or dare.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: Commingle it.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: Truth or dare.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Truth or dare.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: Number nine way to change your intimate life fast.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: Tell your spouse you want him.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Just say it.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: Just say I want you.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: And your spouse will be like, what do you mean?
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: What do you want from me?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, I want you.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I want you.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: And they'll be like, wait, what?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that would rock.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: That'd rock their world.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: What does that do?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: It says, I love you.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: She loves me.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: If I say Mick, I want you so bad, he's gonna be like, She loves me.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh the rest of my day's shots.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, uh, it's 12 o'clock.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: I got work.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, what?
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, what?
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: What does that mean?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: I desire you, I love you deeply.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, pick the words.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to say one if you'd rather pick a different one.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: But if you spent more time, like once a day, once even though if you're not very good at this and you did it once a week, your spouse will be like, they love me.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, this is what this is all about, right?
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: Is they what you want your spouse to think they love me.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: They want you, they love me.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's the goal.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: And the number 10 reason to change your intimate life or way to change your intimate life this year is number 10, schedule intimate time.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Amen to that, Sister Amy.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I totally agree with that.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: Go write it on your calendar or just write it in your brain.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: I used to think it was so lame, and now I it it's a great idea.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Especially for people that are busy.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, again, just go say, you know what?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is a great night.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be at 7.02.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Just say this is a great night.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is a great night.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: If both of you are like, hey, what's a great night to be intimate this week?
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: We have a really heavy schedule.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, dude, Friday night after day night.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe it's Saturday night, or Sundays for us are the best because our kids go to bed early because they have school on Monday.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, whatever works for you.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it builds anticipation too.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you're like, oh yeah, tonight.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're anti-scheduling, even in your brain, like you're like, no, I'm not doing that, then pick, like I said, just pick one or two of the other ones.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if you were to just say, okay, I'm going to shower with my spouse multiple times this week, and I'm going to really kiss my spouse like I mean it.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like, just pick those two.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: I bet your intimate life would change this week.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it would be.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: If you were to say, I'm going to initiate, even when I'm not like thinking about I'm going to initiate, and I'm going to be excited about it, just changing those two things.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: He's the right one.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: Your spouse is going to feel.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what the list was going to be, but after hearing the list, yeah, you pick any two of those.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: Or one, even one of those game changers.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: Game changers.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then, see, that's where the baby steps come in.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: So you pick one or two.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: Pick one.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: You try it.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Next week, implement another one.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: The next week, implement another one.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: Passionate.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Can you imagine?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Can you imagine if you were 10 for 10?
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's a lot.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: That would be like that's like kissing passionately in the shower, then locking the door, putting your phones away, and being excited about it being intimate, getting on the app, and telling your spouse during intimate time how much you want them.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, wow.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds like you could do all that in one episode.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: That'd be like heaven on earth.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's one night right now.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: You'd be like, have I died and gone to heaven?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's going on?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so let's put that in a one-day thing.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: If you really want to change your intimate life today, today, text your spouse that you want them and that you want to be intimate later, lock the door, go jump in the shower, kiss them like you mean it in the shower, and then get out of the shower, jump on the app, start talking and playing the bedroom game together.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I just hit I hit every one of them.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: I just hit every one of them.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: So there you go.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds like a dream night.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: The blueprint of an amazing intimate life right there.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's just that simple.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: Just do just do those things.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're like, I don't have a great intimate life because the emotional connection isn't there yet, then you you have so many podcast episodes, even with the therapist Austin, to go back and listen to to fix the emotional side of your marriage first, so that you want this, right?
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that you want this.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: You're spitting a lot of facts in that episode.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that was a great episode.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't even know what to say.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just totally speechless.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, I wish you would do those.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm gonna try harder.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to try harder.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: You've been you've been amazing.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: Anyways, if you need some products to go along with this awesome night.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Valentine's Day is coming.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you haven't thought of what to get your spouse this Valentine's Day, you got time.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, do it now.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: But do it now.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: We ship out 24 hours or less on weekdays.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: We'll get it to you fast.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: We know you want it fast.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: Did you know the ring is waterproof?
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I hope everyone knows that ring is waterproof.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: I had to tell someone the other day, and they're like, dang, that's that's a game changer.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: Sweet.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's a game changer.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: And the intimate loop, massage cream, all in one body butter.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: Best on the planet.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: Pair that with the ring, best on the planet.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: If you're like, no, I need more romance in my life.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: We have the awesome coupon books.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: The romance and intimacy card deck, which is like this thick, is like amazing.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so loving.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's like so many great things.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: We have our date nights, we have uh there's just there's awesome stuff.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: So there's no reason why your spouse shouldn't get an awesome Valentine's Day as of this year.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you're supporting a great cause.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: They're our favorite sponsor, shop.ultimate intimacy.com.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: Email us if you have any questions, as we're here to help.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: And we appreciate you listening to the podcast as always.