Latest / The Breakfast Club / Mashonda Talks "Positive Distraction", Returning To Music, Reseting Energy + More

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Mashonda Talks "Positive Distraction", Returning To Music, Reseting Energy + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Morning. Everybody is stech Envy and Ngela Yee, Charlomagne the guy.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: We are to Breakfast club. We got a special guests
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: in the Belding Strange of Danger. Hi, welcome back. We
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: haven't seen you. Twenty No twenty eighteen when the book
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: came out. Ye, how are you remember? I'm great, energy, amazing, Okay, okay,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: I think you know. I think my energy is always amazing.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm pretty steady. You set your affirmations in
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: the morning always. Ye, well this morning, um, I think
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: the first the first thing I said to myself when
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I woke up was it's going to be a beautiful day, okay.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: And you feel great absolutely, even with the rain and everything.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: And I love the rain because living in San Diego
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: now we don't get any rain. Why San Diego. It's
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: just gorgeous. I know. But like, what was the connection?
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Because you know, we live here. I've lived here my
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: whole life. Um, twenty twenty happened. My grandmother who raised me,
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: one of the closest people in my life, passed away
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: in twenty twenty and yeah, and she was the main
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: reason why I stayed here so long, because I was
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: taking care of her. My son's father moved out to
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: San Diego in twenty nineteen and he struggled. My son
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: struggled with it a lot, and I right though, you know,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: he lost that connection. It was a weekly thing. So
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I haven't wanting to move to LA for years, but
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: I stayed because of my grandmother. And when everything happened,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: I went out to San Diego, spent a month and
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: fell in love. I was like, I don't want to
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: live in LA. I'm gonna live here. It's like nature everywhere,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: and it ended up working out. Yeah, reignited your love
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: for music too. Yeah, Okay, I definitely think that had
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: that setting had a lot to do with it, you know,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: really emerging back into it, and your son had a
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: lot to do with it also, a hundred percent influence
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: on everything. So totally, can you tell us why you've
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: put out an EP? It's been how long since your
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: last God January Joy came out in two thousand and five.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ seventeen years later. So it wasn't I know
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: you did. It wasn't that you didn't had a lack
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: of love for music. Wasn't the industry more than industry? Right? Absolutely?
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: The industry. Um, you know, I felt a little misplaced
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: and a little unwelcomed, and you know, even blackballed, would
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: you say, goes up? Yeah, a little bit. You know,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I heard things here and there. People felt like they
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: had to choose sides. I still feel like a lot
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: of people do feel that way, and I get it,
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: you know, I know people never got that though, yeah
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, well yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. That must
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: have been on them because I've never felt like, well
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I never thought that. I've never felt that from me
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: that club at all. But you'd be surprised, totally, totally,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: and um, you know, it was a little discouraging. And
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: as much as I love music, I've been doing music
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: way before I met my ex, you know. So it
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: was me and my son came in the room and
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: last year in November and he said, my your viral
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: on TikTok and I was like, what does that mean?
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: You know, and uh, you know what's going on? Pretty much,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: I've been in a bubble. I was never on TikTok
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: until he told me this. Somebody said up here and said,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: you're Charlomagne, you're your your sound on TikTok. Your sounds
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: going what are you talking about? Right? And it was
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: a record that I did in two thousand and three,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: a freestyle I did over a Bust to Rhymes joint,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: The Honey I See you had like millions and millions
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: and millions of interactions worldwide, and I was like, Okay,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: well maybe this is a sign. No, maybe I need
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: to really get back into it, especially now that this
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: generation knows my voice. So um, I did just that,
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: you know, And I created a body of work that
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I love and it's art. You know, It's not a
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: traditional album. It's it's from beginning to end a story
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: and love and my transformation. I don't always use the
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: word healing because I feel like it's more of a transformation, um,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: and just the ups and downs of love. And you
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: did some visuals with it, a lot of energy with
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: the interacting with you when you're a main leading man. Yes,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: because I wanted to. I wanted to create a visual
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: that was refreshing compared to what's happening now in visuals
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: where it's you know, I don't feel like I don't
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: feel like we're showing love and romance and what that
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: looks like anymore. I feel like it's almost like a
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: dying art. People even know what that it is anymore.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: This is what I'm saying. So I wanted to take
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: it back to what that looks like, like having an
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: argument with the person you're in love with, but then
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: coming back together, not canceling him, you know. So that's
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: what Complicated is all about. Pick the beats and help
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: you produce, and not at all. He want nothing to
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: do with it. You know, he has his own genre
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: of music. No, you know, he's like, when I do
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: make something that he can relate to, he's like, yeah,
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: this one's good. Otherwise to him, it's like old people music,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: you know him, and he loves it. Okay, he loves it. Yeah,
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: what is the God's plan affirmation? So the God's plan affirmation?
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: My grandmother always used to say, put everything in God's hands.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: So at the end, um, that's what I say. I said,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: it's God's plan and It's in God's hands. And that
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: one starts with waking up and blessing the day, and
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I say, I want to start. I want to start
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: my blessing. I want to thank my day with you.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: So I'm speaking to the person listening. I want to
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: count my blessings starting with you. So that's to let
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: you know you are a blessing, right. So it's interactive
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: the music and the affirmations because I want people to
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: really I feel like our culture sometimes we have a
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: hard time understanding how to even get into meditating. I
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: have a lot of people ask me, well, how do
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: you meditate? What is an affirmation? So I wanted to
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: incorporate that into the EP, just to give people a
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: small idea of how to get started. And I did
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: it over a very relatable kind of deed. So you
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: work with a lot of people in this industry, did
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: you reach out to any of them during this project?
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: And some of them say, now, I'm not effort with
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: you as everybody can with open arms. I didn't want
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: to work with anyone in the industry, so I worked
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: with two new young producers, Lenicia Nelson, who's an amazing
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: vocalist and songwriter, engineer, and Quan Keys, who is a
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: sick producer. He's a church guy. And I wanted to
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: work with new, fresh, you know, undiscovered talent. I don't
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: really want to put anybody in a situation where it
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: was like, all right, let me make sure it's okay,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: you know, so I just did my own thing. That
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: probably helps to create a trauma free album too, absolutely,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: because you're not bringing no old triggers and you know
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: certain things like you know, I like the song Runaway, Yes,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: And the story behind that song in particular, I think
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: is interesting because it can be such a relief when
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: you're like in a bad situation and you get out
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: of it. Baby, it is freedom, right, it's runaway. Runaway
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: is just about walking away from a situation before it
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: gets out of hand, like knowing when to respect the
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: red flags, you know, And I think sometimes we prolong
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: things that don't feel good because we're comfortable in there.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Or someone said, you know, the sex might be good
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: and we don't want to part ways with that. Why
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: did you say? Someone said, because when we had have
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: you ever stayed with somebody too long because the sex
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: is great? Noo quick? That's never been Like, what is
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: the leading factor? What is the red flags? For Maschanda?
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Red flags for me now are definitely communication, you know,
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: if we can't be transparent and consistency. I love consistency.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: So it's like those two things have so much to
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: do with like your foundation and what's what's what it's
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: leading up to UM, so I look out for that.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Dating is interesting. Dating can be ghetto ghetto, you know,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: if you're thinking McDonald's thinking about dating, you know versus
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: mister Chowers when the friends are good and had exactly
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: mean ghetto. You know. I just feel like people get
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: into these interactions and relationships and they're not emotionally ready,
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: not mentally ready, and then they just come in with
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: all their stuff and kind of like project onto you.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: And it's like, this is not what I signed up for. UM.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: And you know, a lot of younger guys have been
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: coming my way and I'm like, I don't know if
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: we can, if we can said that too when she
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: was up here last Yeah, and they're so like bold
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: and intense about it, like met you in person both.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Do you like the boldness? I like, yeah, I do
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: like when you know people know what they want and
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: they are showing you that they're very serious about it.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: But it's just interesting because I'm just it. But these
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: younger guys do. They are pretty more, pretty mature compared
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: to I guess ten years ago what a younger guy was. UM.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: But it's been interesting because at first I was like, well,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: what do we have, what do we even have in common?
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: What are we going to talk about? But I don't know.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't want to say that I would
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: never date. And when I say younger, I'm talking like
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: twenty eight to thirty one. Okay, it's pretty young. What's
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: the wildest date you've been on that a younger man
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: is taking you on? What did y'all go? What did
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: y'all do? I I can't even think. I want to
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: know the ghetto one that you said ghettocause something popped
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: in your mind when you said ghetto. McDonald lake that ghetto,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: especially if you high as hell and y'all leave y'all
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: y'all coming back from somewhere and get them hot fries
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: late at night. I'm not talking about ghetto in a
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: sense of form, like physical ghetto. I'm talking about like
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: the interaction itself, you know. But people don't call anymore.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Sometimes they just only text you, or they FaceTime you
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: with no notice. I don't like that, fatime. I don't
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, I don't really answer. We have to
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: we have to plan a FaceTime, like, hey, are you busy?
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Is it okay? Here to FaceTime? Right? Right? Well? What
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: did you feel what did you feel you needed to
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: tell yourself when you name the album note this Self. So,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: I'm the type of person I'm always if something comes
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: to mind, I'm always writing it down, doing voice notes.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: I'm journaling um and I think and I've noticed that
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: when I don't do that, I forget what that moment
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: of like oh wow. So I think everybody should start
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: writing things down, those those moments where you like connect
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: the dots in your head like that happens because of this.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: You know, it's always like something in the past that
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: kind of triggers something in the present. So for me,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Note to Self is really it's an accounting. It's a
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: document of everything that I've I feel like I've survived
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: and made it through. And it not only survived and
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: made it through, but I'm able to take the lessons
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: from it. You know, I haven't forgotten the lessons. Let's
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: talk about this song positive distraction for a second, because
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: sometimes you're like, Okay, you know, there's a lot going
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: on and I just need something to make me feel
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: good and feel happy. Are you okay with dating somebody
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: who you know maybe there's no future with, but they
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: are a positive distraction? Yeah, definitely, definitely. I feel like
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: everybody needs that. But that's also a conversation. You don't
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: want to lead somebody on. You know. It's like we
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: come together, we have a good time, and then it's okay,
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: we can part ways and pick up right where we
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: left off from the last time. Yeah, you're doing this
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: all on your own. This album is independent or super independent, produce,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: direct your own videos, everything. So what makes this successful
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: to you? What's what's in a success The fact that
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: it's done and out, the fact that I did it,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: you know, the fact that I worked, put my money
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: into it. I didn't ask anybody for anything. I paid
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: everybody that helped me. I don't owe anybody any money,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: gay right. I feel like I also created opportunities for
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: creatives to come in and show what they can do,
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: even the artwork, down to the artwork, down to every font,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: you know, all the small details. It feels really good
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: to to create a body of work and then release
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: it and know that you pretty much did it on
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: your own. One thing I always give you credit for
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: it is artwork, Like as far as you care, rating
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: these art shows, helping these young artists, but also helping
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: people get their collection up because Massonda send me like
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: pictures like this would be great for you or this artist.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: She's a young black girl from Brooklyn, and I think
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: you should get this piece of work because she really
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: wants to sell it to somebody that you know, somebody
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: like you. And so she does always hit me up
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: about things like that. And so can you talk about
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: your love of art because this is something you were
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: doing for a long time. I remember you had did
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: the book release. I think it was the book release
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: at Donna Carn's place, Donna Carren's house. It was amazing
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: by the way. I was like, what is this? But
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: even just being into artwork, where did that come from?
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I've been a collector for the past twenty five years.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: That sounds old as though, but I've always collected art
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: and I've always supported artists. So it's just a part
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: of who I am. But I started Art Leader in
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: twenty sixteen because I wanted to create a platform to
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: give women an art more of an opportunity to show
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: their work and to sell their work. So I do
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: exhibition curate you know, galleries, and I'm getting ready to
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: do a couple of museum shows. And for me, it's
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: all about having people of color collect people of color,
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: you know. So when I connect Angela with an artist,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: an emerging artist that I know is doing what they
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: need to do to take their career to the next level,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: I know that I'm not only helping Angela, but I'm
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: also helping the artists. And music and art, you know,
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: it collides. It's it's pretty much the industries are almost alike,
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: and the artists they need the same kind of support
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: as musicians do. For people who want to collect art,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: how do you determine? Because people always ask me that,
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: like if they come to my house and they see
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: what I have and they're like, what made you decide
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: to buy that? And for me, it's just a feeling
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: that I get if I see something, if it evokes
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: any type of emotion in me, if it makes me
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: think of something, if I think it's just beautiful. What
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: for you would you tell people who want to start
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: collecting art, how do they go about getting their collection going?
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I think the first thing is to make sure you
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: buy art that you if you have children, that you
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: want your children to grow up looking at, you know,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: and something that that's gonna that's gonna because it becomes
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: a part of your psyche. Like you you wake up,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: you see it, you go to sleep, you see it.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: So make sure that you love what you're looking at.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Don't just get into it for an investment, even though
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: it can be a great investment. But definitely buy work
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: that you love. And I think that's what you're so
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: you're so good at How can you tell me some
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: things that a good investment? People ask me that all
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: the time too, because I'm like, I don't really know. No,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: you just buy art because you love it, which is great,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: you're like a real collector. But the I mean, once
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: you're involved in the marketplace and you it's like stocks
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: and bonds, right, you check the market. You can see
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: what art is going up, what's selling it auction um,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: the price points, who's in museums, who who's with a
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: good gallery. These are all ways that you can tell
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: if an artist is going to be a quote unquote
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: good investment. Let's go back to your other art of music,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: because you said this album is described as a healthy,
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: realistic outlook on relationships. But then this first thing is
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: called complicated because that's real life, so complicated relationships can
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: be healthy, Yes, okay, because you got to learn from it.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: The thing is a relationship that's not complicated, right, Every
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: human relationship, relationships with self is complic human and complicated. Yea,
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: so comic Tackling that conversation is super healthy. Have you
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: seen the video I'm not Oh? Is that the one
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: where you and the guy all over each other? There
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: are moments where we're fighting, but that's like for me,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: that video is the perfect example of a complicated relationship.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: How do you argue? I always think it's important in
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: relationships that because you are at times not going to
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: get along, and I do feel like your style of
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: arguing and how you guys communicate during that time is important.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: How do I argue, I'm not. Do I sound like ill? No,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: I'm more like However, I argue it works because I
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to say firm down, super firm.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: I don't shut down because I do believe in communication. Um,
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: but I do have a way of checking people. You're laughing,
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: what are you laughing? On your mind? I'm laughing because
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking of reactions. And I do have a good
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: because I pay close attention to everything, every detail. I'm
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: paying attention to you when you don't even think I am.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: So when when it gets to the point of arguing,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you out on things that you did
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: not think. So you're an attorney pretty much, so January ninth,
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: I'm going to call you out on things that you
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: had no idea I even paid attention to because I
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: didn't say shit about it before. Is that healthy though?
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Because how to bring things up? And you're like, why
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: didn't you bring it up when it happened? Because sometimes
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: because sometimes it's not because you know why. I don't
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: ever want to be that person that's coming across as
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: the mother or the corrector or a judge. So I'm
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: not going to correct a grown person every time I
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: see them doing something that I don't agree with. I don't.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's healthy because that's not my child,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: you know so, But I I'm gonna pay attention Like
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: those are the red flags we'll bother you the most
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: in a relationship with whether you're dating somebody but you
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: something that you can't stand, whether it's I don't know
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: time or is it you said, lack of consistency, lack
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: of communication, lack of consistency. I think a very annoying
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: thing is um when people play around with my time,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: like if like if we like, if you say a
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: certain time, you know, it really irritates me, not only
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: from dating, not man, just in general, Like if we
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: have a nine am meeting, don't hit me at nine
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: forty five and say, oh I can't make it. You
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: knew you couldn't make it, probably at eight forty five.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: You played already, right you you knew you couldn't make
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: it at eight probably, So that those type of things,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: I agree with that because I always feel like latenist
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: is really a disrespect to the other person because in
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: certain times not important. Yeah, and that's how I look
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: at it. I remember I dated this guy and what
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I did to him, and he never was late again
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: after this because he would always be late. And so
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: what I did was the next time that we were
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: going out, I just went and did something else. And
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: then when he called me like thirty forty minute, I
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, I didn't think you were coming, right,
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: and because you weren't here, so I left and he
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: was never late again after that. Yeah. Time is very important. Absolutely.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Time is like one of the most important things, especially
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: when you're a parent, because you plan everything, So I
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: think that, yeah, be considerate. What made you focus on
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: the last five years as opposed to like your whole
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: life of dating experiences as far as the EP, Yeah,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: it wasn't only I'd say it was more so the
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: last ten years. Well, because coming out of a marriage,
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: you know, I had to give myself time to really
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: get ready for dating. You know, I didn't want to
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: jump into anything. So once I hit the road, I
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: was like, Okay, I'm in it. Let's see, let's see
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: what people are doing out here. At first, I don't
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: think I was conscious enough to to really pay attention.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: I was just having fun. Yeah, And how was that?
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Is everything? Dating somebody else? When you have in X, right,
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: do they always look at your ex like it's insane
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: and it's ridiculous And it's been a very large it's
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: been a huge hindrance and in a complication, Yes, I
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: could imagine it's annoying. Um, if your ex worked at McDonald's,
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: I'm sure to be a lot it would be so
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: much easier. It'd be so much easier. Um. But some
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: guys are a little intimidated and insecure, and some guys
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: act like they're not. But they are, and then once
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: in a while you'll meet a guy who really does
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: not care, who doesn't even really know who the person is.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: And those are the ones. Those you know, those are
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: the ones that I like, Yeah, those are the ones
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: who who were just like who And I'm like, yeah,
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: we're gonna have fun. You open a marriage again. You know,
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: marriage can be great. But I think I did it,
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: and I'm good on that, um verbatim. I did it.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: It's good when it's good. But I don't know if
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: I believe anymore. And no offense to the people that
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: are married, same thing. Really, I just you know, I
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: don't know if I should even say this, but I
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: just feel like as humans, individual souls on a spiritual level,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: that what marriage means to a lot of people kind
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: of stunts growth individually as a person. Because if you're
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: married to someone that's on the same level with you
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: with this, then it's perfect. But if you're married to
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: someone that doesn't think that you need to be somewhat
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: interactive with another human at some point. Oh so you're
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: basically saying you don't believe in monogamy. Absolutely, I do.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: She said no, no, no no, no, no, no, no, no, interact, yes,
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: interact in a nice way. No no, yes, yes, like
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: just having a conver like for instance, okay, here's a
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: perfect example. And I thought this was so dope. I
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: recently went to Qatar and not knowing anyone, but wanting
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: to do things. My friend connected me with his friend
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: who was a married man, but who's also like super cultural,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: like he knows what to do, where to go. He
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: literally picked me up. We connected on what'sapp. He picked
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: me up, he took me to everywhere I wanted to go.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: He spent the day together, did all these things like restaurants, malls,
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: all the stuff. And then he introduced me to his wife,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: and his wife was super cool. I was like, thank
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: you so much for letting me borrow your husband. It
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: was dope. I don't think a lot of people are
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: prepared to understand really that dynamic, that human, that very
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: necessary human interaction. What do you think would Gia be
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: okay with that envy for you having a tour guy
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: guy for being a tour guy for a woman that
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: he's never met before. I put myself in that predicament.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: But so no, unless unless I knew the person, Like
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: if I know the person personally, then majority of my friends.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: What if it's somebody that I don't know and just
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: flying in see not zoon Ye. Yeah, that's different, you
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: know what I mean? And it was different. I was
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: even I was even like, wow, okay, let me that's hilarious.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. Would you be okay with that with
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: somebody you were dating? If he It would have to
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: be because if that person you though, he was hitting
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: his wife the whole time, And I would want to
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: be in a situation with someone that I trust enough
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: to go do that. Absolutely, you could trust somebody that
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: much that like, is it hard for you to trust? No?
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: Because I mean, well, he wouldn't say anyway, right, he
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: didn't try to holland no, no, no, no no. But
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: people have teld me that men and women can't be friends.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: And I have great male friends and some people. I'm
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: also not throwing myself and giving sexual energy to these people.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: You know, like I didn't give him any sexual energy.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: It was like I knew he was married and was
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: like I wasn't. I wasn't. I didn't look at him
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: that way, right, you know, and thank you for helping him, right.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: And some people also feel like they don't want to
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: make new friends either, because I've heard that a million times.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: It's so problematic. That's a random new person culture stuff.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: It's like, no new friends, and how are you gonna
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: grow right? You know, how are you gonna evolved? Sometimes
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: for friends you might like better than your old friends
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: who you obligated to be friends with. The guy that
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: picked you up, I mean he has to be you're
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: still thinking about no, because if it's like if a
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: family member called and said, hey, I have a friend
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: coming in town, that means that person means something to you. Yes,
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: So that means that that, yes, I would go pick
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: them up and do something. Because other than that, I'm
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: trying to think if if I would pick somebody up
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: that I didn't know, but I would only do that
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: if a close friend said he my sister absolutely out
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: for her, or if this is by someone so so yeah,
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: I can see that happening, but his wife still didn't
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: have to agree. You know that's true? Could you? Could
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: you deal with a man right now that hasn't done
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: any work on himself, like, never done the therapy, not
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: on no journey of healing. Nothing. I don't have the
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: time or the energy. I have one son. Yeah, you
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: think you've been in love again? Yeah? M hmm yeah,
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: look at a blushing now seem like even for me now?
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: And love is also very different you know. Um, well
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: you have a new definition of it. Yeah, okay, what
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: is it? Yeah? Um, I think in love is kind
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: of like a infatuation. It's very temperate, It's it's a
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: it's a I don't want to say temporary. Some people
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: do say they're like being married for years and they're
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: still in love. But I do kind of think that
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: it's um, it could be selfish, it could be very
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: um what's the word um? Conditional in love? Like what
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: happens if that person does something that doesn't make you
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: so happy? Are you still in love with them? You know?
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: So for me it's like I when I get into
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: these relationships and and the love starts coming into play,
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: it's always about will I be able to be okay
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: with you even if you do something that I can't stand,
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: you know, like I love my son if he does
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: something I don't like, I'm still gonna love my son.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Am I gonna look at you that way? Can we
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: get through that? So for me, that is more important
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: than being in love. Could you date somebody in the
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: industry again, I wouldn't want to. I haven't why not?
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm, I know why not hurt, but you wouldn't
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: rule it out, he said, you don't know why not
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: because you just know why not. And I mean, I'm
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: this could apply to everyone in this room because we
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: are industry people. Um. I just think that we are
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: jaded in a way. UM, we've been over exposed. Um
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: a lot of our purity has been tainted. So but
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: that's not just this industry. That's in life. I feel
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: like music industries or music industry so different, and people
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: change as they get older too. I feel like there's
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: a time when, yeah, everybody's going wild, and then everybody
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: calms down. That's where everybody in therapy now. It seems
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: like maybe, like you know, some forbidden fruit wouldn't be bad.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: I'm okay with that. But it's like like you said, though,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: the person just really has to be aware. I think
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: we're all aware of our things. It also has a
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: change too. You know, you think about when we all
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: came up together, right, it was a wild time, that's
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: what we seem. There was nothing showing us the other side. Yeah,
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: now that's starting to change. You're starting to see that more,
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: you know, which is a way better thing. You know, true,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't know. It's just something about the
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: whole even the word music industry. It's like, I don't
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: think I want to anybody in the music industry. Even
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: I just said the song forbidden Fruit, Now I read
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: that part of that is also somebody told you you
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: taste like a sweet fruit? Is that true or false?
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: You know everything that I write about is true? Okay? Yeah?
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Where fruit was it? Don't give about your secrets. That's
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: a whole other book. I will. I know it is
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: a whole other book, and I actually wanted to do
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: a whole little thing on it. But I will book
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: on forbidden fruit. Know about self care, about how to
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: take care of yourself, and you know how to how
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: to how to taste good? You know? Um yeah, yeah,
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: but lip service I figured that. Yeah, it was so
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: much fun. You want to play, but you want to
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: play complicated? Complicated. She by the way, first time directing
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: a video, yes, so that's huge to make sure after
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: you hear the song, go look at the video too,
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: if you haven't already. I love it. I didn't want
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: to ask one more question about purity though, like what
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: is purity? Because I don't feel like anybody can be pure.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: I don't think no human on this planet could ever
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: be pures. What is purity to you? I think pure? Well,
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: I know purity for me is, like I said, loving
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: someone unconditionally, not expecting. I'm just really taking them for
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: who they are. Um, not coming down on them every
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: time they do something that irritates you, but but learning
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: how to manage yourself, you know, checking yourself, why does
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: this irritate me? Um? And when you exchange energy with
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: someone on that level, that's pure and it's rare real.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: All right, ladies and gentlemen, if you're late, she's going
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: to be pure and not come down on you. My god,
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: it's the breakfast cloud. Good morning,