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#1688 Choosing Hard - Harps · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: I got our team. I hope you're bloody terrific. Welcome
0:02
Speaker 1: to another installment of the show. You Project, of course,
0:05
Speaker 1: is the name of the show. Craig Anthey Harper is
0:08
Speaker 1: my name, but nearly all of you know that. But
0:10
Speaker 1: there might be one or two ring ins, one or
0:13
Speaker 1: two newbies, one or two debutantes. To you people, Hello, Hello,
0:19
Speaker 1: nice to cyber meet you. I hope you're bloody terrific.
0:22
Speaker 1: For those of you who would like to get a
0:27
Speaker 1: little more involved, if you wanted to, you could go
0:31
Speaker 1: to my Facebook or our Facebook page, which is just
0:33
Speaker 1: called the You Project Podcast. It's a group. There's no
0:37
Speaker 1: hook catch agenda, there's no on sell upsell side cell.
0:42
Speaker 1: In fact, we don't let anyone sell anything. I don't
0:45
Speaker 1: sell stuff on there. We just post the podcasts that
0:48
Speaker 1: are up. We have discussions around what's going on at
0:51
Speaker 1: typ Central, and you are all free to ask me
0:56
Speaker 1: a question or suggest ideas or topics or theme for
1:00
Speaker 1: shows or potential guests and all of that. So the
1:03
Speaker 1: new Project podcast page is on facing. You can do
1:09
Speaker 1: that now. I wanted to talk to you about the
1:12
Speaker 1: idea of why taking the easy option is often not
1:20
Speaker 1: a good idea. And in a world where easy is
1:27
Speaker 1: very popular and comfort is very popular, and convenience is
1:31
Speaker 1: very popular for understandable reasons, because who the fuck wants
1:35
Speaker 1: hard when we can have easy? I think the question, though,
1:39
Speaker 1: is what is the consequence of choosing easy over the
1:42
Speaker 1: long term if I keep hitting the easy button, If
1:45
Speaker 1: I kept pressing the easy button. I want quick, I
1:49
Speaker 1: want easy, I want comfortable, I want familiar, I want
1:52
Speaker 1: no pain, I want no risk. I want to choose
1:57
Speaker 1: the shortest route between me and the outcome that I want,
2:00
Speaker 1: the one that involves the least effort, the least energy,
2:03
Speaker 1: the least risk, the least courage. I want that. And
2:09
Speaker 1: while we probably don't say that out loud, that is
2:12
Speaker 1: true for many of us. Of course, of course, if
2:16
Speaker 1: there are two ways to get their one as easy,
2:18
Speaker 1: one as hard, we'll take the easy one. Now. So too,
2:21
Speaker 1: if there's a hard option and an easy option for
2:23
Speaker 1: me and they both produce the same outcome, of course
2:26
Speaker 1: I'm going to produce I'm going to choose easy as well.
2:30
Speaker 1: But the truth is that it's in all the choosing
2:34
Speaker 1: of the easy over the long term, choosing the easy
2:38
Speaker 1: and the short term that over the long term becomes
2:41
Speaker 1: problematic because when our focus and our attention and our
2:47
Speaker 1: energy is all about finding the shortcut, the quick fix,
2:51
Speaker 1: the magic pill, the instant gratification, the panacea, you know,
2:56
Speaker 1: the top of the mountain without the climb, to speak metaphorically,
2:59
Speaker 1: then one we tend not to really get there. We
3:04
Speaker 1: might get there temporarily, but to also what we do
3:07
Speaker 1: is we deprive ourselves. We deprive ourselves, I should say,
3:13
Speaker 1: of the opportunity to learn and grow and evolve and
3:18
Speaker 1: adapt and develop resilience and understanding and awareness and confidence
3:22
Speaker 1: and competence which comes through doing hard things, consciously choosing hard,
3:31
Speaker 1: and consciously choosing not reckless hard, not stupid hard. We
3:36
Speaker 1: don't want to put ourselves in harm's way or do
3:39
Speaker 1: something that is incredibly risky, a little bit riskier, and
3:43
Speaker 1: they're not bad. But we're not talking about being reckless
3:46
Speaker 1: or stupid. We're talking about an intelligent or a smart
3:51
Speaker 1: hard where I know, for example, I'm going to go
3:54
Speaker 1: to the gym and I'm going to do these hard things,
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Speaker 1: and I might have some sore muscles and every now
4:00
Speaker 1: and then I might get a minor injury, hopefully not,
4:03
Speaker 1: but I'm going to go to the gym, because I
4:05
Speaker 1: know that there is a huge amount of evidence and
4:09
Speaker 1: data that suggests that if I go to the gym
4:11
Speaker 1: consistently and I work against resistance and I do hard
4:15
Speaker 1: things in an intelligent and structured and systematic and consistent way,
4:20
Speaker 1: over time, I will build strength. I will build fitness,
4:24
Speaker 1: I will build confidence and competence. I will improve my health.
4:28
Speaker 1: I will lower my blood pressure, I'll boost my immune system,
4:32
Speaker 1: I'll build more muscle. I'll be physiologically stronger, and also
4:37
Speaker 1: I'll be mentally and emotionally stronger because I've voluntarily done
4:41
Speaker 1: this fucking hard thing that at the time quite often
4:44
Speaker 1: is not much fun, and I've kept doing it, and
4:46
Speaker 1: I've kept varying the program and progressing the workloads so
4:50
Speaker 1: that I'm forcing this adaptation to happen. And I am
4:55
Speaker 1: consistently and consciously choosing to get uncomfortable and do something
5:00
Speaker 1: hard on a pretty regular basis now. And I'm just
5:05
Speaker 1: using the gym as an example, But that same kind
5:09
Speaker 1: of adaptation, that same principle, that same protocol of doing
5:14
Speaker 1: a hard thing and growing and learning from doing the
5:16
Speaker 1: hard thing that happens at the gym, that happens in
5:19
Speaker 1: business that happens in relationships, that happens with finances, that
5:23
Speaker 1: happens in academic settings, that happens in sporting context in
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Speaker 1: training contexts. The same principle is that if I intelligently, systematically,
5:34
Speaker 1: methodically do something that's hard, with a plan, with a structure,
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Speaker 1: with a reason, with a purpose, then we tend to
5:43
Speaker 1: produce better results, typically in terms of just the outcomes
5:48
Speaker 1: that we produce, but also we become better along the way,
5:53
Speaker 1: become we become a better version of ourselves. I know
5:57
Speaker 1: that for me being the morbidly obese kid and then
6:00
Speaker 1: starting the whole process of doing shit, that for me
6:04
Speaker 1: was incredibly hard. You know, going for a run the
6:09
Speaker 1: first day that I ever consciously, voluntarily without anyone trying
6:14
Speaker 1: to coerce or coax me to go for a run.
6:18
Speaker 1: I was fourteen years old and I was morbidly obeseent
6:20
Speaker 1: it was fucking horrible and hurt, and I think I
6:22
Speaker 1: covered about five kilometers. I think four kilometers of that
6:25
Speaker 1: was walking. One kilometer was a horribly slow jog. I
6:29
Speaker 1: was probably carrying thirty five kilos more than was suitable
6:32
Speaker 1: for my body at the time. But I do distinctly
6:37
Speaker 1: remember getting home and feeling fucking great mentally and emotionally
6:42
Speaker 1: that I had done this thing. And do you know
6:45
Speaker 1: the other thing was and I don't know if I
6:48
Speaker 1: did this intentionally or just happened to do it, but
6:50
Speaker 1: I didn't tell anyone. I didn't tell anyone because I
6:53
Speaker 1: didn't want to draw attention to it. But I didn't
6:57
Speaker 1: tell my parents, didn't tell my mum, dad, I didn't
6:59
Speaker 1: tell my school is for quite a while. And then
7:01
Speaker 1: and then I just kept doing it and every day
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Speaker 1: and you know, and this is no revelation, and there's
7:07
Speaker 1: nothing like mind blowing in this, but just the consistency
7:11
Speaker 1: of every day doing something that for me was hard.
7:16
Speaker 1: You know, I knew that I ate too much food.
7:20
Speaker 1: I knew that I ate the wrong food, and I
7:22
Speaker 1: knew that I ate too much food. And we're talking
7:24
Speaker 1: about in the late seventies here, And of course I
7:26
Speaker 1: didn't fucking understand anything about anatomy or progressive overload or
7:30
Speaker 1: exercise or nutrition. In fact, not a lot of people did,
7:34
Speaker 1: but I definitely didn't. But what I did have a
7:37
Speaker 1: vague grasp of was energy expenditure. You know, what I
7:42
Speaker 1: was putting in energy intake, energy outs, and that balance,
7:46
Speaker 1: and I knew that if I moved more and ate
7:47
Speaker 1: less whatever, that looked like that very simple model that
7:50
Speaker 1: I had, that very simple, uncomplicated idea that I had
7:54
Speaker 1: in my head. So it was not that it was complicated.
7:59
Speaker 1: It was a very simple concept move more, eat less,
8:03
Speaker 1: but at the same time not easy to execute. Like
8:07
Speaker 1: you think about walking up a steep hill. It's not complicated,
8:12
Speaker 1: but it's hard as fuck sometimes. So you know, we
8:15
Speaker 1: take one step after the other, we head in a
8:17
Speaker 1: certain direction, we can see the top. We know it's
8:19
Speaker 1: going to be two hours till we get to the top.
8:22
Speaker 1: It's going to require eight or ten thousand steps or
8:25
Speaker 1: whatever it is. It's going to be hard, it's going
8:27
Speaker 1: to hurt, it's going to be painful, it's going to
8:29
Speaker 1: be uncomfortable. We might get some sore feet, we might
8:32
Speaker 1: get out of breath, we might strain a muscle. We
8:35
Speaker 1: might not enjoy the process, But what we will enjoy
8:40
Speaker 1: is the outcome, which is we did this thing. We
8:42
Speaker 1: got to the top. So it's a lot of the
8:44
Speaker 1: shit that we need to do in terms of growth,
8:46
Speaker 1: personal development, improving success learning, developing, evolving in business. In
8:54
Speaker 1: the personal growth space, even I think, and this sounds weird,
8:58
Speaker 1: but even spiritually, you know, with that discipline of meditation,
9:02
Speaker 1: if that's part of your practice or prayer or service,
9:06
Speaker 1: you know that having a purpose bigger than you, you know,
9:09
Speaker 1: being of value, being of service to others, like a
9:13
Speaker 1: lot of the stuff that we need to do, you know,
9:16
Speaker 1: when we talk about self transcendent self actualization, which is
9:22
Speaker 1: becoming the best version of us, you know, or a
9:25
Speaker 1: much better version of us, moving on that part to
9:28
Speaker 1: self actualization where now I'm really using my talent and
9:31
Speaker 1: my potential and my gifts and my genetics in an
9:34
Speaker 1: optimal way. But now I'm moving beyond that, where I'm
9:37
Speaker 1: using all of that stuff to serve others. Well. While
9:41
Speaker 1: that is, while that is great, and that is a
9:43
Speaker 1: very noble aspiration, at the same time, that actual journey
9:48
Speaker 1: is often anything but fun. It's not fun. It's worthwhile definitely,
9:57
Speaker 1: it's transformational, definitely, but in the mind it's not quick, fun, easy, sexy,
10:02
Speaker 1: or painless. And this is the this is the idea
10:06
Speaker 1: you know, of choosing hard. I've said to I've said
10:10
Speaker 1: to you before on this show. You know, I loved
10:14
Speaker 1: the idea of doing a PhD and if not for
10:18
Speaker 1: almost really, if not for like some unexpected events, you know,
10:24
Speaker 1: me going to Monash University Brain Park, which is the
10:28
Speaker 1: neuroscience neuropsych lab that I'm doing my PhD, and meeting
10:32
Speaker 1: some people there. And I actually, before I'd even thought
10:35
Speaker 1: about doing my PhD, I was asked to come there
10:37
Speaker 1: and talk to the group, talk to the lab, talk
10:39
Speaker 1: to the PhD students, talk to the you know, the staff,
10:42
Speaker 1: the team at faculty, the profits, you know, and I
10:45
Speaker 1: just shared to them about my work and my my
10:48
Speaker 1: job essentially, which was at that stage and still is
10:52
Speaker 1: helping people change, helping people think better, do better, create better.
10:56
Speaker 1: And obviously I was coming originally from an exercise science
11:00
Speaker 1: point of view, and I was coming from a very
11:01
Speaker 1: hands on experiential point of view. I was coming from
11:06
Speaker 1: a space of you know, nearly well at that stage,
11:10
Speaker 1: I guess thirty five years of training, coaching, teaching based
11:14
Speaker 1: to face conversations, and so a lot of my ideas
11:17
Speaker 1: and habits and protocols and practices were self taught and
11:22
Speaker 1: evidence based in that sense that my my gyms were
11:28
Speaker 1: my classroom, you know, my athletes and my clients were
11:32
Speaker 1: the students, you know, And it was it was all
11:35
Speaker 1: that and anyway, that was awesome and that was beautiful.
11:37
Speaker 1: But then so I got this opportunity to do a PhD,
11:40
Speaker 1: and my ego loved that idea. My self esteem didn't
11:46
Speaker 1: know if I could do it, but my ego thought
11:48
Speaker 1: it would be amazing. And of course, other than just
11:51
Speaker 1: my ego, I really wanted to do it because you know,
11:56
Speaker 1: I thought I would learn and I would grow, and
11:59
Speaker 1: it certainly wouldn't be a bad thing to be a
12:01
Speaker 1: doctor of neuropsychology or psychology. It wouldn't probably hurt the career.
12:06
Speaker 1: I can't remember exactly because it was over five years ago.
12:09
Speaker 1: Now November one is my five year mark my PhD.
12:13
Speaker 1: So a minute away. Oh wow, only a few days away.
12:16
Speaker 1: Interesting November one, twenty twenty four. This is October the
12:21
Speaker 1: twenty seven, twenty twenty four, as I record this, My
12:24
Speaker 1: long winded fucking point is this. I started my I
12:30
Speaker 1: started November one, twenty nineteen, and I remember going into
12:36
Speaker 1: the university. It's a separate the brain Park is not
12:40
Speaker 1: on the main campus. It's a separate area, a whole
12:43
Speaker 1: separate area. It's across the road from the main university
12:46
Speaker 1: and what looks like a scientific lab building CSIRO, a
12:52
Speaker 1: part of that, the Turner Institute Brain Park, a whole
12:56
Speaker 1: bunch of a whole bunch of smart people doing smart shit.
13:01
Speaker 1: Almost almost on day one, I wasn't regretting it, but
13:06
Speaker 1: I was absolutely doubting, absolutely doubting and fearful, and part
13:13
Speaker 1: of me thinking what the fuck have I done? And
13:16
Speaker 1: I'll be one hundred percent honest and say that for definitely,
13:20
Speaker 1: for the first three or four months, I one hundred
13:25
Speaker 1: percent believed I couldn't do it. I struggled to read
13:29
Speaker 1: academic papers, you know, that kind of level of research,
13:34
Speaker 1: to understand the language of the vocabulary, to understand certain concepts,
13:38
Speaker 1: because I just wasn't It's just like, you know, I
13:42
Speaker 1: knew I wasn't dumb, but I knew that I didn't
13:46
Speaker 1: know that language. Like I literally finished my last degree
13:49
Speaker 1: in two thousand and two, which was what is that
13:53
Speaker 1: seventeen years earlier, and I did an undergrad degree in
13:58
Speaker 1: excise science, and the the chasm between that degree and
14:03
Speaker 1: what I started, I can't adequately explain to you how
14:07
Speaker 1: big that gap is. And so no one was the problem.
14:13
Speaker 1: I was gonna say I was the problem, but not
14:15
Speaker 1: really the problem. I was just overwhelmingly inadequately ready and
14:21
Speaker 1: prepared for that. But you know, you can't get good
14:25
Speaker 1: at what you won't do. You can't get good at
14:28
Speaker 1: what you won't own up to. And so I spent
14:32
Speaker 1: three four months, you know, kind of reading, kind of planning,
14:37
Speaker 1: kind of writing bits and pieces, trying to map out
14:41
Speaker 1: what would be the next four or five years of
14:43
Speaker 1: my PhD journey, but really oftentimes trying to figure out
14:49
Speaker 1: how I could get out of it without being shamed
14:52
Speaker 1: and embarrassed because I just I was terrified. And I
14:59
Speaker 1: don't say any of this to impress you at all,
15:02
Speaker 1: because I've just told you how unimpressive I am. You know,
15:07
Speaker 1: it just for me, it was such a steep learning curve.
15:12
Speaker 1: I was so bad at it. I was so bad.
15:16
Speaker 1: I wasn't afraid of asking questions. I just didn't even
15:21
Speaker 1: know what questions to ask. But it's in the middle
15:25
Speaker 1: of that where you just, you know, well, I met
15:30
Speaker 1: some really good people who were amazing, and I humbled
15:34
Speaker 1: myself and I went, I've got no fucking idea, I
15:36
Speaker 1: don't know, can you help? What do you think of this?
15:41
Speaker 1: I'd show them what I'd written, I'd show them my plan,
15:47
Speaker 1: my rough kind of plan for the research that I
15:49
Speaker 1: needed to do. I didn't really even understand, honestly, I
15:53
Speaker 1: didn't even really understand what a research project, a PhD
15:57
Speaker 1: research project meant. But guess what. So you jump in,
16:02
Speaker 1: you either sink or swim up. You step up or
16:05
Speaker 1: you step away. You step up or you step down,
16:08
Speaker 1: you roll up your sleeves, you fuck up. You know,
16:13
Speaker 1: you be okay getting embarrassed, and it's okay. You know
16:18
Speaker 1: this is But I can honestly say the last five years,
16:22
Speaker 1: you know, when like I started, it's fifty six, and
16:28
Speaker 1: this is one of the things I talk about a lot.
16:30
Speaker 1: How typically now I'm just saying typically, not that it
16:33
Speaker 1: needs to be this way, but typically most people at
16:36
Speaker 1: fifty six, when I started my study, most people at
16:39
Speaker 1: that age are on the slide. Most people are cognitively,
16:45
Speaker 1: perhaps creatively, and definitely physiologically declining at a reasonably rapid
16:51
Speaker 1: rate compared to say, when they were thirty or thirty
16:54
Speaker 1: five years old. Things have started to accelerate. But as
16:59
Speaker 1: I've said to you many times before, while the chronological
17:03
Speaker 1: fact of aging is inevitable until we don't age, which
17:07
Speaker 1: is when we die. And while chronological aging is an
17:11
Speaker 1: unavoidable constant, what is not an unavoidable constant is the
17:21
Speaker 1: rate at which our body and our brain and our
17:24
Speaker 1: mind and even our creativity ages in inverted commas. And
17:31
Speaker 1: so you know, as I'm sitting here recording this to you,
17:37
Speaker 1: I'm I feel better. I feel physically, mentally cognitively that
17:46
Speaker 1: is more. My brain feels like it works as well
17:49
Speaker 1: as it ever has. I mean, I don't feel like
17:52
Speaker 1: it works well for sixty one. I feel like it
17:54
Speaker 1: just works well. And it's very hard, borderline impossible, of course,
17:59
Speaker 1: have objectivity around that because it's me assessing me, which
18:03
Speaker 1: is kind of fucking ridiculous. Nonetheless, but as as objective
18:07
Speaker 1: as I can be, which I admit is not very
18:13
Speaker 1: because it's the Craig experiences subjective. But I feel like
18:18
Speaker 1: my brain works well. I feel like I'm as creative
18:20
Speaker 1: as ever. I know that I'm more productive. I know
18:24
Speaker 1: that I'm getting more done. I know that I'm still
18:27
Speaker 1: learning and growing and evolving. I know that as a speaker,
18:31
Speaker 1: I know that as a creator. I know that as
18:34
Speaker 1: a podcaster, I know that as a writer. I know
18:37
Speaker 1: that as an educator I am better I'm not hanging
18:42
Speaker 1: in there, but that better in inverted commas, that only
18:48
Speaker 1: happens by choosing hard, That only happens by optimizing. What
18:58
Speaker 1: I have to work with. What I have to work
19:02
Speaker 1: with is the genetics I was given. What I have
19:04
Speaker 1: to work with is the resources I have at my disposal.
19:07
Speaker 1: What I have to work with is twenty four hours
19:10
Speaker 1: a day. What I have to work with is the
19:12
Speaker 1: knowledge and the skill that I have, and the competence
19:17
Speaker 1: and the confidence. They are the things that I have
19:20
Speaker 1: to work with. Now you have the same You have
19:23
Speaker 1: twenty four hours a day, you have a certain level
19:25
Speaker 1: of skill and competence, and you have particular genetics, and
19:28
Speaker 1: you have things that you have at your disposal to use.
19:31
Speaker 1: Now you and I are similar in that. But what
19:35
Speaker 1: really matters is not we have what we have to
19:37
Speaker 1: work with, but rather what will do, what we will
19:42
Speaker 1: do with what we have, and what gets in the way.
19:48
Speaker 1: I truly believe this that what really gets in the
19:51
Speaker 1: way of people optimizing their talent, optimizing their time and
19:56
Speaker 1: resources and potential and skills and all that shit, and
20:00
Speaker 1: optimizing their body and optimizing their brain is just that
20:04
Speaker 1: they won't fucking do the hard things that create those
20:07
Speaker 1: awesome outcomes because we live, you and I live in
20:11
Speaker 1: a world that is predisposed to look for fucking comfort
20:16
Speaker 1: and convenience. If you're listening to this anyway, not the
20:21
Speaker 1: whole world, I don't think, but certainly, certainly those of
20:24
Speaker 1: us who live in a world in inverted commas where
20:27
Speaker 1: we're lucky enough to have iPhones and the like, and
20:31
Speaker 1: computers and tablets and to be able to listen to
20:34
Speaker 1: old bastards like me just bang on. I could be
20:37
Speaker 1: wrong specifically about you, but most of my audience, you know,
20:42
Speaker 1: we have we have, you know, so much potential, so
20:48
Speaker 1: much possibility in terms of the things that we have
20:51
Speaker 1: to work with. But also we are so enamored with,
20:56
Speaker 1: we are so in love with convenience and instant gratification
21:00
Speaker 1: and magic pills and quick fixes, which is why all
21:04
Speaker 1: of that shit sells like hotcakes pun intended. You know,
21:11
Speaker 1: when when you choose to go to the gym and
21:15
Speaker 1: do something hard, that's you leaning into the hard. That's
21:18
Speaker 1: you saying, well, look this is what i've got to
21:21
Speaker 1: work with. I've got this time, I've got these resources
21:23
Speaker 1: at the gym, and I live in this body I'm
21:26
Speaker 1: going to go to the gym and I'm going to
21:28
Speaker 1: do something that's both smart and hard. And the byproduct
21:33
Speaker 1: of that, if I keep doing the thing at the
21:35
Speaker 1: gym that is both smart and hard, my body will change.
21:41
Speaker 1: And when I change my body, and this is what
21:43
Speaker 1: people don't think about too much. When I change my body,
21:46
Speaker 1: I'm also changing my habits and my behaviors, and my
21:50
Speaker 1: thinking and my confidence, and my emotional state and my
21:53
Speaker 1: brain health. My cognitive function improves when I lift weights,
21:58
Speaker 1: when I do cardio, when I changed my busiology, there's
22:02
Speaker 1: a psychological and an emotional benefit. But that only happens
22:07
Speaker 1: when I do the hard thing. When I started. If
22:11
Speaker 1: you get bored of my stories, just tune out. But
22:13
Speaker 1: when I started Harper's, which was my personal training centers
22:18
Speaker 1: that I had for twenty five years. My first one
22:22
Speaker 1: was in nine and nineties, so thirty four years ago
22:27
Speaker 1: and I was twenty six years old, and I remember,
22:32
Speaker 1: you know, getting up every day. Firstly, firstly, everyone nearly
22:39
Speaker 1: everyone who I spoke about the idea of setting up
22:41
Speaker 1: this standalone personal training facility when there weren't any. There
22:45
Speaker 1: weren't any in Australia. There there were people doing bits
22:48
Speaker 1: and pieces of training or coaching, but in terms of
22:50
Speaker 1: a standalone, commercial, appointment based personal training facility, there weren't any,
22:55
Speaker 1: to my knowledge anyway. Nine ninety and nearly every body
23:00
Speaker 1: that heard about it or that I spoke to or
23:03
Speaker 1: sought advice from you regarding business stuff, regarding marketing and
23:07
Speaker 1: branding and you know, just setting it up. I didn't know.
23:10
Speaker 1: I was just a twenty six year old gym employee
23:13
Speaker 1: at the time. My business knowledge how to turn something,
23:19
Speaker 1: how to take an idea in my head and turn
23:21
Speaker 1: it to a real thing in the world. There was
23:24
Speaker 1: about a million steps missing that I didn't really have
23:27
Speaker 1: a grasp of. So I asked a lot of questions,
23:30
Speaker 1: and while some people were quite encouraging and supportive, even
23:34
Speaker 1: those people were kind of I could tell they doubted
23:36
Speaker 1: that it would work. And I don't blame them. They
23:39
Speaker 1: weren't actually negative. It's just that here's this twenty six
23:42
Speaker 1: year old ex fat kid who's trying to create this
23:44
Speaker 1: thing that doesn't exist. And by the way, there was
23:48
Speaker 1: no personal training industry. There was no regulation, there was
23:51
Speaker 1: no qualification, there was no insurance, like it wasn't even
23:56
Speaker 1: a fucking thing like there was no personal training profession,
24:02
Speaker 1: and so I'm trying to create this thing. Of course
24:05
Speaker 1: it would have happened. I'm not saying I invented personal
24:07
Speaker 1: training globally, but I didn't. I'm trying to create this thing.
24:11
Speaker 1: I'm trying to build my own business and brand and thing.
24:16
Speaker 1: And I made more mistakes in the first year of
24:21
Speaker 1: operation that I'd probably made in total in my whole
24:25
Speaker 1: life up to that point. When I say mistakes, just
24:28
Speaker 1: things that I tried that didn't work. But the beauty
24:32
Speaker 1: of trying things that don't work, and being okay with
24:35
Speaker 1: trying things that don't work, and being okay with fucking
24:39
Speaker 1: up and being embarrassed and looking silly, all of those
24:42
Speaker 1: things that are hard, all of those things that are uncomfortable,
24:46
Speaker 1: is if your ego can deal with it. And by
24:48
Speaker 1: the way, my ego had to deal with it because
24:50
Speaker 1: I'd signed a lease, I'd bought all the equipment. I
24:53
Speaker 1: couldn't fucking go anywhere. I didn't want to go anywhere,
24:57
Speaker 1: but I'd backed myself into a corner, which for me
25:00
Speaker 1: made me just work my ass off. But if you're
25:04
Speaker 1: prepared to fail, fall down, look silly, be embarrassed, not
25:09
Speaker 1: get the result you want periodically, and then keep stepping up,
25:12
Speaker 1: keep stepping up. Then guess what, In the middle of
25:15
Speaker 1: all the fuck ups and failure, you learn and grow
25:18
Speaker 1: and evolve and adapt. Then you become a fucking superior
25:21
Speaker 1: version of what you were before you went into that process.
25:25
Speaker 1: And this is the gift. Like the gift is not
25:28
Speaker 1: what you get at the end, the gift is who
25:30
Speaker 1: you become along the way. That's truly what I believe.
25:35
Speaker 1: I know now that while I'm not a genius and
25:38
Speaker 1: I'm not the best at anything, I know that I
25:41
Speaker 1: could almost go into any environment and figure it out
25:45
Speaker 1: because I've been figuring it out for the last thirty
25:50
Speaker 1: five years. I'n't had a boss for thirty five years.
25:53
Speaker 1: I haven't had a regular income for thirty five years.
25:56
Speaker 1: For thirty five years, I have had to solve problems
26:00
Speaker 1: on a daily basis. And that first year for me
26:03
Speaker 1: in my own gym, where I had no management skills,
26:06
Speaker 1: I had no leadership skills. I was dealing with the counsel.
26:09
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to have a conversation with the
26:12
Speaker 1: bayside counsel. I didn't know what questions to ask, I
26:16
Speaker 1: didn't know how to answer their questions. I didn't know
26:19
Speaker 1: how to have a conversation with a lawyer or a
26:22
Speaker 1: real estate agent or an accountant without looking like a
26:25
Speaker 1: fucking idiot and without being scared of looking stupid. But
26:30
Speaker 1: I had no choice. I had to do all of
26:33
Speaker 1: those How do you get good at those conversations? How
26:36
Speaker 1: do you become a black belt in communication in that context? Well,
26:41
Speaker 1: you start by being a white belt and being real bad,
26:45
Speaker 1: real bad. Did I look in competent? Yes? Did I
26:48
Speaker 1: fuck up things? Yes? Did I probably look like a moron? Definitely?
26:53
Speaker 1: I probably did well. Definitely. Did Did I know how
26:57
Speaker 1: to market myself? Did I even undertand what that meant? No?
27:02
Speaker 1: I didn't. Did I have any concept of customer service?
27:07
Speaker 1: Not really. I was a bit cheeky, I could have conversations.
27:10
Speaker 1: I was a little bit likable. I guess that was
27:13
Speaker 1: maybe my saving grace. Not everybody liked me. Of course.
27:17
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to employ staff. I didn't know
27:20
Speaker 1: how to structure a business. All of these things that
27:25
Speaker 1: I learned, all of these things that I got wrong,
27:29
Speaker 1: and then I did better, and then I did better,
27:31
Speaker 1: and then I did better, and then I eventually got
27:33
Speaker 1: right and then I eventually got a level of confidence
27:35
Speaker 1: and competence, and not in all of those areas, but
27:39
Speaker 1: in some areas close towards mastery, where you go, oh,
27:42
Speaker 1: this thing that I was fucking terrible at, I dived
27:46
Speaker 1: into the deep end of the hard pool, and now
27:50
Speaker 1: I'm pretty fucking good at this. And I'm not good
27:52
Speaker 1: at this because I've got a big ego. I'm not
27:55
Speaker 1: good at this because I'm a genius. I'm not good
27:57
Speaker 1: at this because I'm more talented or better than anyone.
28:01
Speaker 1: I'm good at this because I did hardshit NonStop for
28:05
Speaker 1: fucking ever, and now here I am. And you and
28:08
Speaker 1: I live in a time getting a little bit on
28:11
Speaker 1: my soapbox, aren't I, But I truly believe you and
28:14
Speaker 1: I live in a time where people just don't fucking persevere.
28:19
Speaker 1: People do a little bit of hard and then go
28:21
Speaker 1: it's too hard, or they go, I tried, it didn't work.
28:24
Speaker 1: You didn't fucking try. You didn't really try. You did
28:28
Speaker 1: three days or three weeks or three months of something
28:32
Speaker 1: in the context of your life. That's not trying. That's
28:36
Speaker 1: opening the door and then shutting the fucking door. Trying
28:39
Speaker 1: is just getting back up day after day and month
28:41
Speaker 1: after month, year after year, and just and yes doesn't
28:45
Speaker 1: mean you're doing the same thing that doesn't work. But
28:47
Speaker 1: you're grinding, you're making decisions, you're learning lessons, you're unlearning
28:52
Speaker 1: things that hold you back. You're choosing your own beliefs,
28:55
Speaker 1: you're choosing your own operating system. You're courageously and consciously
29:01
Speaker 1: identifying your own values and then building a life around
29:05
Speaker 1: the values. That is, the things that you say matter
29:09
Speaker 1: to you. And that is hard as fuck. It is hard,
29:13
Speaker 1: It is uncomfortable, it is not fun. Many times, even
29:17
Speaker 1: on this show, I've had to do things that were
29:20
Speaker 1: hard because of my values. I've turned down well over
29:26
Speaker 1: one hundred thousand dollars in advertising and advertisers on this
29:30
Speaker 1: well over probably towards two hundred thousand dollars in potential
29:34
Speaker 1: sponsorship on this show because they were brands or products
29:38
Speaker 1: or services that didn't align with who I am. And
29:41
Speaker 1: that's okay, you know, but that shit is hard because
29:45
Speaker 1: you go, well, that money would be good because I've
29:47
Speaker 1: got a pative. I've got to pay my lise, I've
29:49
Speaker 1: got to pay me, I've got to pay bills, I've
29:51
Speaker 1: got to go to you know, I've got some expenses,
29:54
Speaker 1: and in the moment you go, well, what would be
29:55
Speaker 1: easy is I just say yes, thanks, I will advertise
29:58
Speaker 1: for that our Coho brand. I will, sure, I will,
30:01
Speaker 1: but I can't. Well, I can, but I won't, you know,
30:04
Speaker 1: and so and again. Then it's in that living like
30:08
Speaker 1: we talk about living an aligned life. If I'm in
30:11
Speaker 1: a room with one hundred people or one thousand people,
30:13
Speaker 1: put up your hand. If your values matter, every hand
30:16
Speaker 1: goes up. Of course, put up your hand. If you
30:18
Speaker 1: want to live a life that's in alignment with your values,
30:22
Speaker 1: every hand goes up. Put up your hand. If you're
30:24
Speaker 1: actually doing that, fucking nobody and the hands that do
30:28
Speaker 1: go up are probably bullshitting some hands. Maybe maybe I'm
30:34
Speaker 1: being a bit harsh, but you know what I'm saying.
30:37
Speaker 1: What I'm saying is the idea of having values, the
30:39
Speaker 1: idea of living in alignment with my values, the idea
30:43
Speaker 1: of being authentic, all good, But the idea of it
30:46
Speaker 1: isn't the reality of the process. The idea of it
30:50
Speaker 1: is easy. The process of living that fucking life is hard.
30:55
Speaker 1: But it's in the courage that we find to do
30:58
Speaker 1: the hard thing that we be come fucking us two
31:01
Speaker 1: point zero. If you are one of those people that
31:05
Speaker 1: is in love with easy, comfortable, and convenient, I tell
31:09
Speaker 1: you you are living in a self built prison because
31:14
Speaker 1: that comfort one day, that comfort that we choose, that
31:16
Speaker 1: will bring us undone choosing comfort, we think it's a
31:21
Speaker 1: good idea, and it might feel like a good idea
31:24
Speaker 1: in the moment and now and then comfort great, by
31:27
Speaker 1: the way, But when we are when our default setting
31:29
Speaker 1: is comfort, when our default setting is convenience, eventually that
31:34
Speaker 1: is going to fuck us up. Because when the shit
31:36
Speaker 1: hits the fan, and the shit will always hit the fan,
31:40
Speaker 1: when the bad things happen, when the hard thing happens,
31:44
Speaker 1: when the catastrophe happens, you are fucked because you have
31:48
Speaker 1: no skills. Now. You can't survive in the discomfort because
31:52
Speaker 1: you always choose comfort. You can't thrive under pressure because
31:57
Speaker 1: you always choose easy. It is so much about deciding
32:03
Speaker 1: what is the best course for you, not only based
32:07
Speaker 1: on what you want to do, be create, but mainly
32:10
Speaker 1: perhaps on who you want to become and how you
32:12
Speaker 1: want to be. I knew that I wanted to build
32:18
Speaker 1: a platform to do what I'm doing now because I
32:20
Speaker 1: love the idea of sharing, connecting, bonding through this, through
32:26
Speaker 1: this medium, and I wanted to be able to, you know,
32:31
Speaker 1: share my thoughts and ideas with people who wanted to listen.
32:35
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people don't want to listen.
32:36
Speaker 1: I don't blame them. It's all good. And if I
32:38
Speaker 1: have you know, obviously I want thousands of listeners, because
32:41
Speaker 1: it's I need to pay the bills. But you know what,
32:43
Speaker 1: if I add ten listeners and they got something from it,
32:46
Speaker 1: then in a way, that's worth it for me. Right.
32:50
Speaker 1: So there's that kind of that, you know, the practical reality.
32:55
Speaker 1: But then there's my philosophical you know kind of and
32:59
Speaker 1: I guess spiritual and psychological drivers. That is, I want
33:03
Speaker 1: to do something where I'm connecting with people. And I
33:06
Speaker 1: knew that and I was very clear on that, and
33:08
Speaker 1: I started a podcast and it didn't work, and then
33:12
Speaker 1: I started an another podcast. I had a podcast called
33:15
Speaker 1: The Australian Fitness Podcast. Then I did another one with
33:19
Speaker 1: Francis Leach and Bianca Chatfield called We Got Nothing. Then
33:23
Speaker 1: I did another podcast with Tommy which is Tommy Jacka
33:26
Speaker 1: called The Craig hub Show. And all of them, you know,
33:31
Speaker 1: they were okay, the production, everything was okay, but I
33:37
Speaker 1: knew that I also needed to build something that if
33:39
Speaker 1: I wanted to sustain it and grow it over time,
33:42
Speaker 1: it also needed to be able to be financially viable,
33:45
Speaker 1: because I can't do seven podcasts a week and get
33:48
Speaker 1: all these people on board and create all these expenses
33:52
Speaker 1: without at the very least breaking even. And so the
33:54
Speaker 1: reality for me was three failed podcasts, which probably equaled
33:58
Speaker 1: somewhere in the ballpark of two hundred episodes. And then,
34:00
Speaker 1: as some of you already know what I'm going to say,
34:03
Speaker 1: the first six hundred or so episodes of this I
34:05
Speaker 1: lost money. And that's painful and that's choosing hard. And
34:09
Speaker 1: after the first hundred you might go, well, fuck up,
34:11
Speaker 1: you did one hundred and you did the shows before.
34:13
Speaker 1: That's three hundred in total. Mate, you gave it a
34:16
Speaker 1: good crack. Or after two hundred episodes to two ip
34:19
Speaker 1: L three or four or five, you know, and fortunately
34:22
Speaker 1: for me and hopefully you, depending on what you think
34:26
Speaker 1: of the show, it started to catch fire. It started
34:29
Speaker 1: to work. We started to get listeners, we started to
34:32
Speaker 1: get brand awareness, we started to have people talking about us,
34:35
Speaker 1: We started to get sponsors, we started to attract more attention,
34:39
Speaker 1: which was great, and I'm eternally grateful. And there's no
34:42
Speaker 1: ego in this. There's just awareness. There's awareness that I
34:46
Speaker 1: had to fucking grind forever because I'm not that creative genius.
34:50
Speaker 1: I'm not that uber talented dude. I didn't have a
34:53
Speaker 1: big brand. I had a bit of a brand. I
34:55
Speaker 1: had a bit of a profile, but I'm not and
34:58
Speaker 1: have never been and will never be famous per se.
35:00
Speaker 1: And so for me, getting bums on seats, as we
35:03
Speaker 1: call it in inverted commas, is just a matter of
35:06
Speaker 1: being relentless and doing the hard thing over time. I
35:11
Speaker 1: built a studio downstairs at my house. I'm upstairs now
35:14
Speaker 1: in my office with a different setup, but I've got
35:16
Speaker 1: a purpose built. Essentially, it looks like a radio studio downstairs,
35:22
Speaker 1: which I spent tens of thousands of dollars on and that,
35:27
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't recoup that for maybe I don't know,
35:30
Speaker 1: six or seven or eight years. And all that's good,
35:32
Speaker 1: and I'm not saying I'm not terrific. I'm not. But
35:34
Speaker 1: there's just work to be done, and there's commitment to
35:37
Speaker 1: be made, and there's sleeves to be rolled up and
35:39
Speaker 1: there's discomfort to be immersed in, you know. Same with
35:44
Speaker 1: my first speaking gigs, My first speaking gigs, my first
35:47
Speaker 1: paid one. I was twenty six years old, and I
35:50
Speaker 1: won't bore you with the story game, but I was
35:52
Speaker 1: no good. It was in a timberyard. I got paid
35:54
Speaker 1: fifty bucks fifty dollars to pay to talk for an hour,
35:58
Speaker 1: thirty five years ago. So I was no good. They
36:03
Speaker 1: didn't enjoy it. But I left there and I knew.
36:08
Speaker 1: I didn't know, actually, but I thought I might be
36:12
Speaker 1: able to get good at it. And even though it
36:15
Speaker 1: wasn't an amazing experience, there wasn't great feedback, and I
36:18
Speaker 1: certainly didn't kill it. I had an inkling that I
36:21
Speaker 1: could get good, or that I could develop, that I
36:24
Speaker 1: could be better. One of my next gig, second or
36:31
Speaker 1: third gig, was at a gym in I think it
36:33
Speaker 1: was High Street Paran called recreation. Was for a group
36:37
Speaker 1: of Vic Fitz students or fitness students who were doing
36:42
Speaker 1: I think a certificate three. It was called in fitness
36:46
Speaker 1: like a gym instructor course. This is pre pt courses
36:50
Speaker 1: and so for And I spoke to them and I
36:55
Speaker 1: was terrible. They couldn't get out of there quick enough.
36:59
Speaker 1: I was terrible. I was terrible, and I did from
37:03
Speaker 1: then till I was about thirty, from when I would
37:05
Speaker 1: say twenty five twenty six, maybe my first gig was
37:07
Speaker 1: twenty five anyway, mid twenties. But I would say for
37:12
Speaker 1: the first five years, I was somewhere between terrible and okay,
37:22
Speaker 1: somewhere between a one out of ten and a five,
37:27
Speaker 1: never more than a five. But I saw growth, and
37:32
Speaker 1: I started to figure it out a little bit, and
37:35
Speaker 1: I started to understand how to build rapport with an audience.
37:38
Speaker 1: So I started to learn how to get up and
37:40
Speaker 1: be less terrified. I started to learn, you know, the
37:44
Speaker 1: right combination or the right mix of stories and information
37:49
Speaker 1: and humor and interaction. And I realized there was a science.
37:54
Speaker 1: I realized there was an art to speaking. It wasn't
37:57
Speaker 1: just about the shit that I said, but rather how
37:59
Speaker 1: I said it. It was about timing, It was about
38:02
Speaker 1: reading my audience. It was about can I make them laugh?
38:07
Speaker 1: How do I create energy in this room that people
38:10
Speaker 1: don't necessarily want to be in. And you know, literally
38:16
Speaker 1: hundreds of times where I was somewhere between uncomfortable and
38:23
Speaker 1: terrified hundreds of times, and I reckon, I reckon. It
38:29
Speaker 1: took me until I was thirty or a little bit older,
38:32
Speaker 1: thirty one, thirty two before I wasn't terrible. I wasn't terrible.
38:39
Speaker 1: But again, that's the whole white belts a black belt,
38:41
Speaker 1: isn't it. How do you become a black belt, either
38:44
Speaker 1: a literal black belt or a merafot or a metaphoric
38:47
Speaker 1: black belt. You you go and do hard shit. You
38:51
Speaker 1: choose hard. You go and you hang out with people
38:54
Speaker 1: that are better than you. You go and hang out
38:56
Speaker 1: with people that will drag you up. You train with
38:59
Speaker 1: the guy or the girl stronger than you. You play
39:01
Speaker 1: tennis with someone that's better than you. You hang out
39:05
Speaker 1: in a group where you know that socially and or
39:08
Speaker 1: intellectually they might elevate you rather than drag you down
39:13
Speaker 1: with bullshit. Choosing hard is not the handicap we think
39:21
Speaker 1: it is. Choosing hard is actually one of the best
39:25
Speaker 1: decisions you'll ever make.