Latest / Just & Joyful with Kristin Carver Smith / Getting Dressed Again After a Mental Health Crisis with Brandi Johnson
Transcript
- Kristin Carver Smith: Hello and welcome to another episode of Justin Joyful with Kristen Carversmith. I am your host Kristen Carversmith or KCS as most folks call me. Y'all, I'm so, so excited about today's guest, about today's episode, about this conversation. I would love to introduce you all and welcome Brandi Johnson. to the Justin Joyful podcast. Brandy, just quick note, Brandy, who I call Brandyce, BT Dub, so you all will find out, has agreed to be our resident style expert at Justin Joyful. We are so happy to have you here. Brandi Johnson: This is so exciting. This is phenomenal, first of all. Everything Just and Joyful is just everything I could have hoped for with you having this platform and just reaching so many of us. And I am beyond thrilled to be the resident style expert. Kristin Carver Smith: I'm so happy that you said yes. I also, so I want y'all to know before I share Brandeis's incredible, like just insane resume, ⁓ I want y'all to know that our paths first crossed, what, 2020? Brandi Johnson: Hahaha Mm-hmm, 21, like a minute. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was so drawn to her because she was approaching the body in a way that felt so different and kind and compassionate and unique. And as someone who has been in recovery from disordered eating, you know, for gosh, like 15 years now, I have a complicated relationship with my body. I've had a lot of ups and downs. And quite frankly, I don't know that there's a woman who hasn't had a complicated relationship with her body at one point or another, whether that was like something that she chose or not. ⁓ And so for me, when I thought about working with a stylist, and at the time I had there was an opportunity for me to do a photo shoot and video and all of the things. And as the new fashion co was growing and I really, knew that I wanted to partner with a stylist, but I was pretty nervous to be honest about that experience. Cause I didn't know like, is a stylist gonna ask me to get small again? You know, by whatever definition of small was for me, is for me, all of those things. And so I was nervous, like, this gonna rehash all of the stuff that I feel like I've tried to work through? And I was so drawn to the fact that Brandeis had such a different approach. And so I just want y'all to know that. ⁓ And I know I've said it to you a million times, Brandeis, but I just so appreciate that about you and who you are. Brandi Johnson: Thank That's really beautiful. Thank you for reflecting that back to me. think for so many of us, it's like we do our thing, you know, and kind of get caught up in it. And it's just a really beautiful thing to have someone see you and see how you're doing what you're doing, if that makes sense. So that was really beautiful. I really thank you for that. Yeah. Kristin Carver Smith: Mm-hmm. Hmm. Hmm, yeah, yeah, hmm. Well, I mean it and I just want you to know, okay, so let's talk a little bit about your work and your background. So you are a style alignment strategist, which like right off the bat, can we just, style alignment. People don't, they just don't. They just like, they don't, it's so special. It's so one of one. You're also the founder of Brandeis Nicole, a bespoke style and image consulting firm for high impact women such as myself, navigating growth, visibility, and even reinvention, which I mean, again, like I am so in the thick of that, have been in the thick of that. I love that you work with people who are navigating that. And it's your career, you have a career that has spanned education and fashion and executive leadership, and you even led a $30 million division in corporate and you've overseen 300 plus stylists. Like I could just go on and on about, I think I even read in your bio that you briefed the US Secretary of Education. so y'all, just need y'all to know that... Brandi Johnson: Yes, back in the day. Kristin Carver Smith: This ⁓ is a real gift. This is such a gift that you are here with us today to bless us with your wisdom, particularly as we talk about the intersection of style and wellness, because we know they are, they're all up in each other, right? Brandi Johnson: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. They really are. Yeah, this is, ⁓ you know, it's interesting. It's one of those things where I didn't know this is what I would be doing. I think a lot of times we get called into things and ⁓ somebody knows. We don't know. ⁓ And it really is such a blessing to be here doing this work. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Mmm. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: working for myself after having come out of a lot of, frankly, just toxic work environments, especially... They have no idea. No idea. Not at all. Yeah, and so, you know, especially as a black woman, as a woman of color, you know, it just... Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah, our listeners don't know at all what that is like. None of us can relate to that. Brandi Johnson: even even entrepreneurship is not always sunshine and rainbows, right? But like even on those days when it's not, I can always have my rock be. I get to decide who I am and what I do and I don't have anyone telling me about that, right? And that doesn't mean everyone used to be an entrepreneur like please, please know, right? Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Hmm. Mmm. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, we know. We know, we've seen it. We've seen it. We're good, we're good. And I think again, also as entrepreneurs ourselves, like we know like this path is not for the faint of heart. Like it's just not. And you, so. Brandi Johnson: all the sides. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. It really isn't. Kristin Carver Smith: Tell me a little bit about how did you even get into this world, the world of style, as I call it. It's like, how did you even get into this? Brandi Johnson: Yeah. Yeah, so, you know, as you mentioned, career in education reform for very, very many years, and then did some consulting work and then ended up working in corporate at a fashion and tech company. ⁓ Never in a million years that I think I would a work for myself, be work as a stylist that that to me was something that was like, that's for celebrities like that, you know, you have to move to LA. Like, I mean, it just it never Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: was a thing that I thought that us amazing yet regular folk could have or be be entitled to, right? Yeah, yeah, amazing, amazing. We are excellent and also real regular. And so, yeah, so I mean, style has always been something that's been I've been immersed in. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. That resonates, the regular folk. It resonates, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: And that comes from me growing up in a long line of Black matriarchs who took how they presented themselves to the world very seriously. I was fortunate enough to know my great grandmother. I had her till I was 11. We called her Madeer. And she, you know, ⁓ migrated from Monroe, Louisiana to the Bay Area in California for kids, her husband. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Hmm. ⁓ my gosh. Brandi Johnson: And I remember, you know, spending summers with her and, you know, the church hats, the gloves, you know, the Sunday best. This was the woman who ironed dungarees, as she called them, jeans. She ironed jeans and sheets. Okay. And then my grandmother, we love it, my grandmother who is 91 and God bless her, still with us. I wish we this very short. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Mmm. We love it. We love it. Brandi Johnson: aside and it'll tell you everything you need to know about my grandmother. For her 90th birthday we did a big party and you know she said to me she said she calls me Bran. Bran I'm just so tired you know I'm not I'm not gonna wear anything special I'm not gonna do anything special I said okay Grams like that's fine you know this woman comes down the stairs and picture it's like a 90s like catwalk staircase right so like like Kristin Carver Smith: Mm-hmm. Mm. Yeah. Okay. Brandi Johnson: prom entries, okay, like one of those. She, we know, everybody knows exactly what I'm talking about, right? She comes down the stairs in a black sequin top. Kristin Carver Smith: We know, everybody knows right now. It's like such a visual, yes. Brandi Johnson: Like I don't even have a black sequin top. Okay. This woman has bars on bars on bars for style. Right. She has a walk-in closet dedicated to shoes only. All the shoes are still in their boxes and they are alphabetized. Like she is never not, never not presentable. Okay. And there was once when I was driving her to a doctor's appointment and she said, you know, every time I go to the doctor's office, everyone always says, you know, you look so sharp. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Mmm. Wow. I love this. Brandi Johnson: ⁓ you look so nice. And I just think to myself, well, some of these people out here look like they've been thrown away. It's like, ⁓ that's harsh. That's very harsh. And yet having been someone who probably looked like I was thrown away at some point, like in the depths of, know, weight gain and all the things I'm like relatable. But yeah, so it's all my mom, my aunt, like it's always been a thing. Kristin Carver Smith: and yet. Mmm. Brandi Johnson: I think that for me is what was so important in separating style from fashion, right? So I was not a kid who grew up like reading, you know, pouring over the pages of Vogue or anything high fashion really. ⁓ Style to me was always this thing that was this just like deeply personal expression of who you wanted to be on that day and what you wanted to show the world, right? And, you know, coming again from a lineage of Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Brandi Johnson: You know, this, my great grandmother, my grandmother, these are women who literally were, were putting on clothing as armor to say, I am human. I deserve respect. I get to be here. Right. ⁓ and so style has always been fun for me. Right. Like whether I was in, in the Pearl Jam era at boarding school. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep, yep, yep. Mm-hmm. Brandi Johnson: Yes, taking it back to Eddie Vedder, wearing the flannels, okay, thrifting oversized men's shirts to wear over thrifted bell bottoms. I mean, like, it was still a vibe. It was still a vibe. Yeah. And so that's, that's for me, that's the big difference. Like fashion is something the industry does to us. And style is something we hold dear for ourselves. Kristin Carver Smith: Right, right, yeah, yeah. Mmm. Wow. We just, we need to sit with that for a second. mm, mm. I just, I love that. I'm curious, since you didn't have, you know, quote unquote, traditional training, what did it look like for you to step into the world of style? Brandi Johnson: Yeah Yeah, it was interesting. in my, I want to say like maybe late 20s, a lot of my friends started having kids and I lived in New York at the time, lived in New York for a very long time and friends started having kids and I'll never forget my, one of my very best friends, she's originally from Miami, was living in New York and so she was going home for spring break. She had Kristin Carver Smith: Mm-hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Brandi Johnson: just had her daughter not that long ago before this and she was like I am terrified at the thought of putting on a bathing suit. Terrified. Right? I mean for real right? And so she's she's probably like three months postpartum at this point and we all know whether you have kids or not there's a bounce back culture there's a snap back culture right? I mean the pressure Kristin Carver Smith: Mm. Relatable though, right? Yeah, yeah. Mmm. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: that women who have birthed a bowling ball are under to somehow look like they haven't done that is wild. And right. Yeah, yeah, right, right. Let let that sink in. ⁓ And so here I am just like feeling for my friend, right? Just like, ⁓ no, we can't we can't have this. And I distinctly remember this is back when Jake Russo had catalogs. OK. Kristin Carver Smith: Yes, right. Yeah, yeah. Or even quote, better. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Brandi Johnson: Um, back, back in the analog in the 1900s, actually this was in the 2000s, but still, um, I know we might as well. It does, I know this was like 2008 and it still feels like, yeah, like the olden days. Um, but yeah, I remember like looking in, um, a J.Crew catalog and seeing a few suits. And so went online and I was like, will you give me your credit card number? And she was like, Kristin Carver Smith: We will call it the 1900s though, because it does. It feels that way. It feels that way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Brandi Johnson: Sure. And then asked why, which is, which is so my friend, right? Like, sure. And then like, wait, why? And I was like, I'm going to get you some bathing suits. She was like, what? And I was like, mm-hmm. She's like, okay. And at that point, it wasn't like I was a stylist or anything. You know what I mean? It was just like, yeah, yeah. You know, I think for her, was just like great. Like what? She hates shopping anyways, which is like one less thing I have to worry about. And I sent her three different suits and, you know, she was like, Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Yeah, you're helping a friend. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: I don't know how you did that. And I said, did what? Like in my head, I'm just ordering bathing suits, right? I didn't realize at the time that I had this like very intuitive and in-depth sense of body proportions. So like I knew to get a higher rise bottom for her that would come up and over, you know, where she was still carrying some postpartum weight. I knew, you know, she is smaller chested. I knew to get, Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Right, yeah. Mmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: you know, not a bandeau where you get kind of like smushed, right? You know what I mean? There's just certain things like I got, you know, a bikini that, you know, had like underwire and had like a bit of shaping like so I could balance out her bottom because she's, she's, you know, heavier in the hips. Like all of that could not have told you any of that at the time. I just knew it would be right. ⁓ Kristin Carver Smith: Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mmm. Brandi Johnson: And she said she felt amazing. She sent me pictures. She's like splashing and playing in the pool, you know, and she was like, I didn't think about my body once. And that was a gift. Kristin Carver Smith: Wow. Wow, wow. And I know that there are so many listeners and viewers right now who, they wanna feel that. Like I don't wanna, like I wanna be present in it, enjoying my surroundings, enjoying the experience. I wanna be able to like laugh and jump up and down and run into the ocean and not, right? Have all of that. Brandi Johnson: Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kristin Carver Smith: ⁓ that fear, have all of that judgment, have all of that, ⁓ you know, nervousness, sensitivity, you know, all of those things. And so I think when, for me, when I think about style, I think about it, it's such a powerful tool in a lot of ways as well. And I think oftentimes we can kind of write it off as this like, saying, I don't need that. feels like something that's like indulgent as opposed to like, what if it actually, what if it actually helps like enable and empower me to enjoy these experiences that I've signed myself up for in this life? And so I, for me, style has shifted so much over the years. And I've, it really hasn't been until the last, I would say probably year and a half. after having come out of the hospital and going through the process of therapy and programs and all of those things where I sort of started looking back and going, whoa, whoa, I can see like there's almost like a line of demarcation of like, I remember that during that period, I was making a lot of like, Brandi Johnson: Mm-hmm. Kristin Carver Smith: what I wore had to be so easy and it had to be so like, can't think much about this. I have to just be comfortable right now. And quite frankly, that was just a lot of like, it was like, know, Costco mix and match sets, right? And that worked. Thank you for saying that. Cause I also think I'm like, are, Costco has some stuff y'all, okay. Brandi Johnson: Mm-hmm. Listen, we love a Kirkland special. Yeah Kristin Carver Smith: Like we do, we do love a Kirkland special. We're pulling that out right now. That is just, I'm like, it's going on a pull quote for this interview. We love a Kirkland special. But I share that story because as I again have sort of reflected, I'm starting to, I'm finding myself now drawn to color again, drawn to wanting to play with style. And I think that Brandi Johnson: They do! Hahaha Kristin Carver Smith: our listeners can probably identify with having gone through seasons of like, I don't know, I'm not sure that I care to think deeply about this right now because it feels like everything is so hard or it feels like, hey, I've had some seasons where things are lighter and maybe I do wanna experiment a little bit more with this. And so I'm curious in the way that you've shared the story about how your friend about how she was able to use style to sort of empower her. Like what does that look like for you personally in those various seasons? Brandi Johnson: So, so many things. ⁓ The first thing that I would say is what you just described, right, is so real and honest and raw, right? Like, so it looked like comfortable sweats. And I think a lot of times people hear the word stylist and they're like, ⁓ my gosh, she's going to judge me. She's going to judge my Costco clothes. She's got, know, and, and for me it's what, right? But, but what you did. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Yeah. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. Brandi Johnson: was you allowed the clothing to take care of you. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Mmm. Brandi Johnson: And for many of us, we are at war with our bodies in some way or another. And therefore we're, we're not on the same team. then style is also then not on the same team. It's an adversary. And so a lot of the work that I do is helping women understand how to dress their body proportions so that whether you're in a casual cohort set, Kristin Carver Smith: you Mmm. Mm-hmm. Brandi Johnson: or recently had a client who got invited to a gala and this is like a like yoga, hiking, softball, like, you know what I mean? She was like, ball gown what? ⁓ And I was like, here we go, you know? And she looked and she felt great and felt like herself. And so, yeah, I think that so much of it is just even the mentality or the mindset that style can be there for you. Style. Kristin Carver Smith: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Mmm. Mmm. Brandi Johnson: can be your number one supporter if you let it, if you have the strategy and the tools. And so for me personally, that anecdote I shared about you and my friend in the bathing suit, that had, I don't think I would have been able to do it as well ⁓ had I not just come out of my own two-year endometriosis weight gain. So I had to completely relearn how to dress. And I was dressing a body I didn't recognize. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Mmm. you Yeah. Mmm. Brandi Johnson: ⁓ I was, I gained about 20-25 pounds in about a month. So it was, it came on really fast. And as someone who, who was previously at what I'll call a very, you know, socially acceptable, socially desirable weight, ⁓ it really, really rocked me. And I did what I think so many of us do. I wished the weight away. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Mmm. Mm. Brandi Johnson: the weight away, I refused to invest in anything over like $25, $35, you know? I had to get new clothes because like literally things that felt like they zipped or buttoned the day before did not. I sat on the edge of my bed and cried every single day before work. Like I distinctly remember like I had like a two-door like wardrobe situation in New York and like opening up the double doors and just staring into an abyss of Kristin Carver Smith: Mm-hmm. Mmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Brandi Johnson: Two sizes too small. And so I'm working, yeah, I'm working in education, right? It's a conservative environment, business casual. I'm on site actually at a university at this time. I was both a professor and was ⁓ heading up the curriculum department for a graduate program of education. And I'm like, okay, this is a client site. Like I gotta look like somebody, you know? ⁓ Kristin Carver Smith: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I know that feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brandi Johnson: but like I'm not gonna spend money on it. This body is temporary, right? This isn't who I am. This is just, right? ⁓ yeah. Kristin Carver Smith: We all, I mean, so many of us know, like I can just, I can see and I can like hear the listeners like, yes, uh-huh, yep, maybe that is even, yep, I'm actually, I'm there right now. Like no, this is for but a time. Why would I make investments into this for but a time moment? Brandi Johnson: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh-huh. Right now, right. Huh? Yes, yes, yes. And it's like, ⁓ this is just a circumstance, right? This is not my identity. I don't identify as this bigger person. That's really what I was telling myself. I didn't know it at the time, But it was like, I mean, I joined a gym for the first time. I mean, like, I was like, uh-uh, can't have it. Won't stand for it, not me. That weight was hormonal. And she said, I'm not going anywhere, nowhere. ⁓ Kristin Carver Smith: Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Yes. Brandi Johnson: And so, you know, for all fall and winter, I just had on, mean, name your, you know, real basic business casual special of like, know, merino v-neck sweater and some trousers, some slacks and like some flats. mean, and this is the other thing I think is so poignant about this. I've just described to y'all how I used to love getting dressed, love getting dressed. I loved putting things together, experimenting with colors and just Kristin Carver Smith: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: all of it. And so what I was then also doing was stripping away parts of myself. I wasn't allowing myself to access those those moments of joy and creativity because I frankly didn't think I deserved them in a bigger body. I didn't, yeah. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Yeah. And again, I think there's so many folks who know what that feels like. I know what that feels like. ⁓ it's tough. It's lonely. It's also, you know, I think again, we're so hard on ourselves during that season. And I'm curious. Brandi Johnson: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristin Carver Smith: You don't have to answer this if you're not comfortable. But I'm curious too, were you talking to therapist during that time? Had you started exploring, hey, I think that I'm gonna have to process what's happening and I need to process that with someone. Or were you like many of us and going like. Brandi Johnson: Mm-hmm. Mmm. Kristin Carver Smith: Like I just know that I'm like unhappy and I don't love being in this body and I'm just gonna have to like, I just gotta keep going, I just gotta move. Brandi Johnson: ⁓ yeah, definitely number two, definitely number two was like, keep it moving. The other thing is I had just in that transition, I just started a new role and it had a lot more visibility. So that was terrifying. I had just gotten promoted a lot more visibility ⁓ and I was working like 70 hours a week. It was one of the worst work years of my entire life. ⁓ I inherited it. Yeah. Right. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Yeah. Mmm. Mmm... Yeah. Yeah. So the cortisol was probably through the roof too, right? Cause it's no, nobody's talking about it. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: And like we didn't even know about that then. It was just like, I don't, I don't know. I'm, I'm bloated. Like, no girl, like you are burnt out. You were, you were sleep deprived. ⁓ So I think with all of that, it, it became very easy to throw myself into work and to convince myself that as long as I showed up looking, quote, appropriate, that's all professional. Kristin Carver Smith: Yes, yes. Yeah, yep. Yeah. Professional. Brandi Johnson: that that was going to have to be fine, right? And, you know, I just, ⁓ it was hard. It was really hard to start every single morning off literally in tears, get yourself together, put on clothes you don't even like wearing because you wouldn't invest in any, right? So like, that's like the doubling down of it. I think a lot of us don't realize we're doing. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Mmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: It's like by getting the discount special clothes. Now I'm putting clothes I don't like on a body I also don't like. Kristin Carver Smith: you Yeah, I'm cheaping out in all the ways. Yeah, yeah. Right, and it's like, I don't even just mean that financially, y'all. I mean of like, cutting corners. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Brandi Johnson: all the ways mentally with the cl- everything, right? Mm hmm. Spirit, my spirit, I was was cheapening out on like my actual spirit. And, you know, it was it was just it was I was miserable. was miserable and. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. And yet you're, it's, it's, also sounds like, but you're having to go into a prof, a quote unquote professional space where I'm imagining you have to project a certain level of confidence, even if you don't feel that way, which becomes a whole, like that takes a whole other amount of energy to be able to like, let me, okay, let me try to like embody something that I don't feel right now. And I don't even know that I would call that embodied, but it's like, let me try to like, Brandi Johnson: ⁓ yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah. Kristin Carver Smith: my way through this. And so I'm imagining it's like that was probably incredibly exhausting. Brandi Johnson: Yeah. Well, also sitting in a meeting with one of the highest ranking ⁓ educational leaders in all of New York City, being almost, you know, like I'm distracted. I'm not able to concentrate on what she's saying because my pants are digging into my stomach. Like can't, can't, I can't, I can't breathe well. Kristin Carver Smith: I mean, I wish, I wish. I wish we were sitting in front of a room right now because again, people would be like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, raise, again, raising hands, all like, it, because we know, we know. Brandi Johnson: And people are like, mm, mm, like the whole, let the choir say amen. We know, we know. And it's like, I've been saying this thing recently. just like, it's just, I mean, I made it up, but I'm still gonna say it stuck with me of what we have access to in our closet is a reflection of what we will tolerate. Kristin Carver Smith: Mm-hmm. Ooh. Brandi Johnson: And I had had convinced myself that I was worth tolerating being uncomfortable, being in sad clothes, being in beige clothes. You know what I mean? It was like that. That's what I decided this body was worth. I was punishing myself and I didn't realize that's what I was doing. And so, you know, fast forward to the spring, I was like, oh God, here we go. Because now new season, right? Nothing in the closet for warm weather is going to fit. Kristin Carver Smith: Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Brandi Johnson: And I call this my Sasha Fierce moment. For those of you who might not be familiar, Beyonce, at a certain point in her career, had to adopt this alter ego because she herself had stage fright and nerves, right? She is a human being, right? And I, y'all have heard, KCS calls me Brandeis. My first name is Brandeis and I go by Brandy. Like very dear friends and family call me Brandeis and that's pretty much it. Kristin Carver Smith: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: ⁓ And I decided I was just gonna have this alter ego named Bigger Brandeis. And you asked like about therapy like no, like should have gone, didn't go. But this I've learned, right? Right? I've learned since then what I was doing was creating this like disassociation intentionally as a way to be able to deal, really deal with and heal from what was going on. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Been there. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Brandi Johnson: And so by me saying like, you know what, I'm gonna dress bigger brand dice, it allowed me to move forward because it was part of me, but not part of me, right? But it allowed me to not just sit and wallow, you know? ⁓ And so this, always say, this was the defining point in what would become a styling career because it wasn't about style for the first time, it was about fit. I had to learn the difference between, that looks cute. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Mmm. Brandi Johnson: and ⁓ that doesn't have stretch and it's going to create a muffin top where where one it's going to dig in to like right like that that's gonna pull like i i've always had call them what you want athletic thighs magic thighs i used to call them i've always had thighs okay like i ran track Kristin Carver Smith: It's going to dig into the waste when we're seated in the meeting. Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Brandi Johnson: So no matter what weight I was, I've always had thighs. And so to be able to be like, okay, girl, like if the stomach is pushing and the thighs are like that J.Crew number two pencil skirt with zero stretch, you're not getting in it. And if you are, it hurts. And so I had to teach myself fabrication, cut, silhouette, ⁓ know, something has stretch or structure, what looked good, what didn't look good, right? And that was the awakening. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Mm-mm, nope. Yeah. Mmm. Brandi Johnson: I started wearing a ton of color. ⁓ Like I had this, speaking of pencil skirts, I had this what I call hot orange, one of my favorite colors. I had a hot orange pencil skirt. Hot orange, like that kind of like deep, you know, like moody blood orange color. And I distinctly remember going to, and I think I paired it with like, ⁓ like a cranberry cardigan. I I was just like all the colors, all the things. I had a little gold belt on around the cardigan. In the early aughts, you couldn't tell me nothing. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Mmm. Alright, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Brandi Johnson: And I remember going to this conference and people were just being like, you look amazing. Like, how did you do that? When I tell you the compliments were rolling in 30 pounds up in a way they had never before. Like, please hear me, y'all. The compliments rolled in in a way they never had before at that volume 30 pounds up because I had uncovered the magic of fit. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Wow. Mmm. Mmm. Brandi Johnson: So style, style is like a personal expression. Style is something that should evolve. It can evolve and it should evolve over time as we evolve. But the way that I, you know, kind of stumbled into, you know, what is now like my, my like intellectual property, right? My IP is when you dress your body proportions and not your size, you will always know how to get dressed because your body proportions, the ratio does not change. Here's what I mean by that. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah, right, Yeah. Yeah. Mmm. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: When I was a size four, I always had to get smalls on top, mediums on bottom. Okay, like again, the thighs, the butt, like that's what we were working with, right? Right? We know, we know. So I think what a lot of us do is no matter where you're starting at, as soon as your body changes, you throw everything out in terms of like what you knew worked for you. You're like, ⁓ Kristin Carver Smith: Mm-hmm. We know, Mmm, yep. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: And that's what I did, right? Crying on side of my bed. was like, I don't know how to dress. What is this? Who am I? How do I dress it? ⁓ And so what I've learned is the same silhouettes that worked for me to size four also worked for me to size 18. And people don't want to, but they're like, no, but you have, what about your stomach? What if it's like, listen, I'm telling you at a size 18, and this is much longer at a second, can, know, lot longer after we're talking about, but. Kristin Carver Smith: Right, right. See? Yeah. Brandi Johnson: At that point, I knew, right? I had already been through it. My brain was right. You know, I was like, girl, we just go and get us some more of the same stuff, two sizes, three sizes up. Like they make more clothes is whatever. Always tell my clients they make more clothes. And I'm not saying that in like an unsustainable consumerism way, right? But I think a lot of the time we hold on to this notion of like, I got to get back into this size. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Yeah. See? And that's the ease. Yeah. Right, right. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: because we're afraid that we won't be able to find anything to dress the new body in and feel good. Whereas if I tell you I used to be a small and a medium and then over a hundred pounds up, I was an extra large and a 1X, do you see how the ratio is the same? Which means the silhouettes that look good still look good. And that is everything. Knowing how to dress your body proportions and not your size unlocks... Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: ⁓ It unlocks everything. Kristin Carver Smith: I think that's so helpful too because it teaches people too, as you said, that it's like, we don't have to go back to the drawing board and literally start from ground zero. And I think that's what it's like when we are navigating moments, whether it's a weight gain, whether it's postpartum, whether it is ⁓ a weight loss, you know, from an illness, right? It's like, we actually do have a blueprint that is Brandi Johnson: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Kristin Carver Smith: has some ease in it while we navigate circumstances that are perhaps not easy. And so I love that you, again, I'm so grateful for the IP that you have built around this because I think it's so, helpful and it's so other, again, than what we often see in this space, in this world. And so I'm really curious, Brandi Johnson: Yes. Kristin Carver Smith: Did you ever, did you have friends or family members or anybody around you too that also noticed like, Brandi, you're not, like you're not wearing the color that you used to or like you're not like, I feel like you're using clothes to hide or did anybody ever say anything to you about that? Because I've wondered that for myself of I think about, I mean, I can pretty, I can look back at my own photo albums and go like, Brandi Johnson: Hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristin Carver Smith: Ooh, was having a tough time here, went through, this was a tough season. Ooh, she's like, she was good. Like she was loving life, she was enjoying herself, like all of the things. And so I'm curious, because I think back now and it's like, I wonder if my community was thinking it and perhaps, that can be a tough thing to say like, girl, I love you. what's... Brandi Johnson: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm. ⁓ But what happened? Kristin Carver Smith: What's up? What's up? Brandi Johnson: That's good question. The answer is no. And as I think about that, it's actually very interesting. A lot of it is in, you know, I don't do false humility. I think, you know, telling women to be humble, especially when of color is a lot of that's a tool of oppression a lot of times. So I'm just going to say what I'm going to say. I was the best dressed friend. So, you know, I don't know that Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: my friends really like clocked, you know what I mean? Like, like for sure, we're, because what I'm focused on at that point is the weight, right? So that's where the conversation is. But I will say this, a friend of mine from high school, she went to college in New York, so she was already there when I moved there. And let me just say this, when we went to prom, you talk about, I mean, this woman wore... Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Yeah. you Brandi Johnson: ⁓ lime green mod 60s mini dress with piettes which are just like large sequins to prom legs out like when when we bold right like we we were we would thrift we would do like we loved fashion you know ⁓ and so when i decided bigger brand ice was going to get dressed the first thing i did was i called my friend abby and i was like Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Yeah. Bold. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: How do I stop looking like this? If anyone noticed, she probably did, but you know, had the good sense to be like, let me just let her go through what she's going through. But I was like, how do I, like, you only know what you know. And she said, I'm not going to name the store because it's like, just insert whatever business casual store, right? But she was like, her, the only thing she said to me was stop shopping at store X. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Ooh. Mmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: And was like, what? Because I was doing what's so, I have clients who do this and it's so joyful when I break them out of this. You're just buying the mannequin. Right? And like, right? You're like, ⁓ that's an outfit. I need an, I need an outfit. And then like, it does, like the top doesn't go with anything else you have or like the mannequin doesn't have hips and you do. And now you're trying to find the curvy fit. I mean, it's like, she was like, stop shopping there. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because the mannequin feels easy. ⁓ huh. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: And it wasn't because the clothes there weren't good, it was because I needed to expose myself to other brands, other designers, other aesthetics, right? And get out of that just like kind of, you know, super conservative pencil skirt world and start having some fun. And yeah, I and you said this too earlier, you know, like some somewhere along the way we have been conditioned to to learn and to accept that caring about how we look and wanting to feel good. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: in our clothing is foolish, frivolous, selfish, right? For a lot of my mom clients, they initially, you know, have a lot, they really have to do some mindset work on investing in themselves because they're so used to investing in everyone else first. ⁓ And for me, it's like, no, we're going to reclaim this, okay? Everything about this and the way that I teach it and the way that my clients enjoy it is about Kristin Carver Smith: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Hmm. Brandi Johnson: joy and creativity and like what what if the way you look and feel in your clothes is actually about creativity joy and and it's necessary not frivolous what if it's necessary because to your point earlier the the reason i do what i do in the way that i do it is so that the women i work with can go make a huge impact in the world Kristin Carver Smith: Mm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: because they are no longer worrying about their bodies. are no longer worrying. And let me be clear, we all have those days, right? Like I'm not saying it's like a panacea, but you know, eight days out of 10 or more, they're just like, I just get dressed. And that mental weight that I know you know so well of your care, it's how you start your day is feeling like you're barely a person ⁓ who has their stuff together, you know? And so, Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: for them to go out and live their lives. Like there's nothing more dangerous than a woman who is feeling herself. And those are the women we need in the world. And so what I do, I see as central to that. It is not a nice to have. It is not an indulgence. It is not a negotiable. It is, and again, I'm getting people everything from workout clothes. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Mmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: two gowns, right? Like, so this is not style to me is it is a tool that we leverage. It is not a moral judgment. And I think so often we were made to feel by the fashion industry certain ways about what we wear and what we don't wear. ⁓ But yeah, the proportions thing, like literally had a client a couple days ago who I worked with 12 years ago, 12 years ago, and we're still in touch and ⁓ Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Brandi Johnson: I had worked with her right after she'd had kids and was kind of struggling with her body and we edited the closet, got her some new clothes, she was feeling better and then eventually I went on to dress her for the Emmys. ⁓ And she sent me this note 12 years in y'all and she said, not only do I know how to dress myself for anything, I am now not nervous about a black tie thing I have to go to. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah, yep. Mmm. Mmm. Brandi Johnson: after a very packed weekend and she named, know, she's got like the business travel, kids have to go here, you know, all the things. She's just like, don't know if I have time to like fit in it, like getting my hair blown out like before, you know, and it's a lot. And she's going, turns out she's going back to the Emmys. And the last line she said is, it will be fine. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah, right. Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Mmm. Brandi Johnson: Can you imagine? Like I'm thinking about me going to the Emmys and I'm not unbothered, right? I'm like, ⁓ she is completely unbothered because of the work we did together. And that's the longevity of that. That's where the confidence really comes from for my clients because it's not just, hey, Kristen, this is so cute. Love it. You know, we don't just do that surface stuff. I mean, it is cute and we do love it, but you get so much more out of it. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Right, right, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yep. Right, right, absolutely, yeah. What would you say to anyone who's listening that feels stuck with style and again, whether they're healing from their own mental health crisis like me, they've encountered a setback, their body has shifted or changed, or maybe they're just simply feeling like what's in their closet is no longer a reflection of who they are right now. Brandi Johnson: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kristin Carver Smith: What would you say to them? Brandi Johnson: Yeah, that's such a good question. ⁓ The first thing is actually not to start with the clothing. The first thing is actually, right? It's like, ⁓ I need to go buy new clothes. Like, hold up. The first step is figure out where you are in the process, meaning. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Mmm. And don't we always do that? Don't we always do that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. you Brandi Johnson: I have a client who I worked with seven years ago and now she's back and she experienced devastating losses in the past couple years in her family. And you know, she said to me, she was like, I remember everything you taught me and I used it, you know, for five years and then all the grief and that, you know, and she's like, I've just been hiding. And I said, that's okay. That's okay. You know? Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Mm, mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: ⁓ And so I do think giving yourself the grace and the compassion of if you are dealing with something, if you feel like you haven't been yourself, like it's okay to do that. There's also a term called body grief, you know, it's okay to grieve a body you used to have. It's okay. It doesn't mean you can't move forward, right? You can grieve that and still make a way with the body you have now. Kristin Carver Smith: Yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: So I would say that's actually the first thing is just like, where are you in the process? The second thing is even though fit to me is like 90 % of looking good and getting dressed, it is, you know, and I think like, so for example, I don't do the pears and the apples and the fruit. Like I can't, can't, like who was walking around like I'm a pear, let me get dressed. Like it just doesn't do anything for me. It is, like. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Yeah. I find it offensive. Like I'm just like, I don't love that. Yeah. Also, Brandi Johnson: There's no, there's no corollary to that in men's fashion. Let me just tell you, like they don't have that. Kristin Carver Smith: And also fruit is like, can we also talk about like all fruit is actually shaped differently. So like one apple is not the other apple. So why we gotta say your apple? Why we gotta say your pear? What if the pear looks more like a cantaloupe one day, right? I don't, so it's like, I have never been drawn to that. Brandi Johnson: It's not the same, right? Right, it doesn't. ⁓ my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the inverted triangle, like no, no, no, can't do it. So ⁓ even though fit is where I would say like, that's gonna be your foundation, but I would actually, if you're stuck, I would actually go to style first. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Hmm. Hmm. Brandi Johnson: because it's going to feel more creative ⁓ and it's going to allow you to tap into something you, depending on your circumstance, either have been avoiding or shoved down or are so excited to explore, right? So whether that's a color and pattern or whatever that is, start there. Then with fit, I would say figure out what you really like yourself in. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Brandi Johnson: And I know sometimes that feels really hard because like, know, it's like, I got to look through pictures or like, or like, girl, I don't have anything or, you know, here's what I want to say about that. There is something, okay, most likely it became like a one hit wonder. Like you wore it and you can never forget how to wear it again or whatever. So that's why I teach my clients when we're doing closet edits, you need to compare like apples to apples. Meaning if you like yourself in this one top, Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Mm. Brandi Johnson: but you've never been able to find the right bottoms, that's okay for now. Buy more silhouettes like that top. Then go find something in your closet that's bottoms, know, pants, jeans, whatever that you like and go get more of those. Like when you build up, let me say this differently, when I talk about your body proportions, I call it zones of the body, your top half and your bottom half. And for most of us, they operate differently. They are on different planes, okay? Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Yes, yes, yeah. Yes. Yes, yes. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: One is smaller, one is bigger. ⁓ Most of us, there are a couple body shapes where that's not true, but for most of us, that's true. And so when you start to see the patterns of what works for one zone at a time, it really helps you understand what looks good on you because we're so programmed to look at ourselves in quote, outfits. I can't stand an outfit. An outfit to me is very limiting. Kristin Carver Smith: Yes. Mmm. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: because you wear the outfit, but then how do you mix and match it? How do you get the versatility out of group? This is why you think you need new clothes all the time. That's why you're stuck. So I always say options, not outfits. ⁓ That's what I would leave y'all with. ⁓ and I do, I gotta give props where they're due. You asked me about like how I like actually got into styling and all of that is how I got into it, but I did. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Mmm, so many gems. Mm. Brandi Johnson: formally train with Stacy London from What Not To Wear back in the day. And so that's where I would say I kind of like codified and got some like vocabulary and things that I was already doing. But that was when I was like, wait, this could be a job? Like I've just been doing this for like friends and family. Like, you mean this is a job? Interesting. Yeah. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm. Mmm. Mmm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, yes, wow. Yeah. Wow, I just, I love that and again, I think it's, I think the examples that you've given are so practical for folks, right? It's like people could literally like hit pause right now and go like, okay, let me, let's see what I've got, right? And so they could rewind and go, okay, like, hold on, what Brandeis is saying this, okay, yes, uh-huh, I see that one, yep, I see this bottom and. Brandi Johnson: Mm-hmm. Like, what tops do I have? like... Yeah. Yeah. Kristin Carver Smith: It's so important to us here on this podcast that people have concrete things that they can do. Because I know a lot of us, the ethereal of it, and fashion can feel, and style can feel so ethereal sometimes. And so I'm so grateful that you have made this, that you've contextualized it in such a way where we can see ourselves and identify. I know there's gonna be so many listeners and viewers who, Brandi Johnson: Mmm. Mm-hmm. Kristin Carver Smith: who watch this, who tune in, who go like, that is, like is she reading my diary right now? Like that is my experience. And so we are so grateful. As we get ready to wrap up here, I've got a couple of like fun sort of rapid fire questions for you. So, okay. What TV podcast shows are you just obsessed with right now? And I should say, Brandi Johnson: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm, let's go, let's go, I'm excited. Kristin Carver Smith: I know you also have your own podcast where you are gonna be dropping all of the, like if y'all loved this, all of these style gems, which again, as you know, we will have Brandeis back over and over again to talk with us about the intersection of wellness and style. And Brandeis has her own podcast where you can get gems like this on the reg, right? And so of course, like I will go ahead and answer part of this question and say, it's your own podcast, but also, Brandi Johnson: Yes! Mm-hmm. Kristin Carver Smith: What books, what TV shows, what podcasts are you totally obsessed with right now? Brandi Johnson: Yeah, ooh. So I am. People who know me very well know this. I watch a lot of Hallmark, you guys. I know, I know. And it's like, it is the equivalent to me of like a beach read. Like with some things going on in the world, I'm just like, I just need to turn off my brain and like, and have, you know, the baker, know, it's like, she's going to go save the apple farm. Like it's all so ridiculous. And I love. Kristin Carver Smith: Okay, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, I love knowing this about you now. So good. Yes. Brandi Johnson: it. So there's that. I love it so much. So yes, that is ridiculous, but it is also true. For books, I actually also love a cozy mystery. I do love a cozy mystery. Yeah, so real big end to that. I used to have really like, you know, Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Paging hallmark, paging hallmark. Likewise, likewise. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: I don't know even how to describe it, just like what I would call these very like intellectual things to say around this. like, y'all, the past like five years, I've just been, I'm tapped out. I'm tapped out. I'm like, the world, world, like, no, put me in the mindset of like, I don't have to think when that is now, that's what I do. ⁓ So I think about podcasts, obviously, just enjoyable. ⁓ Kristin Carver Smith: The world, the world, we know. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: I listen to lot of ⁓ human design, astrology type stuff, ⁓ what else? Some business stuff every now and then. ⁓ Lenka Lutanska, I will say. I've been listening to her a lot. She's a YouTube channel. She's the founder of something called Business Energetics. And I just love the like, you know, just like, yes, like we can, she calls it like a new paradigm, right? Like, you know. Kristin Carver Smith: Mmm, mm-hmm. Okay. Mmm. Mmm. Yeah. Mmm. Brandi Johnson: We can lead with intuition, we can lead with the divine. There are so many ways that we can do this that don't require us to hustle, step on people, just all the things that I know you and I, Kristen are like, yes, yes, yes. But I've been enjoying her a lot, so yeah, I'll say that. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. ⁓ humanity, isn't it great? We love it, yes. Okay, so good. All right, what's your go-to tool resource move when you're feeling overstimulated? Brandi Johnson: I know. Mmm. A walk. It's a walk. It really, really, really grounds me. And it's like it just... And this is something I'd say I've evolved into. Like I've always liked walking, but I think just the more in touch I become with who I am and just spiritually and just like all the things. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. you Mm-hmm. Yeah Yeah. Brandi Johnson: the easier it is for me to find solace in creation. You know? ⁓ And that's kind of all I need, which is sometimes wild, but yeah, that's like literally just a walk. Kristin Carver Smith: Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So good, so good, we love it. ⁓ Who is a justice champion or advocate that you're always hitting repost on? Brandi Johnson: Mmm. Mmm. ⁓ my god, there's so many. ⁓ let's see. So, Chiel Gonzalez is, ⁓ we actually went to college together and she gave me some of the best, so for those of who don't know, she is the best-selling author of Olga Dies Dreaming. ⁓ Kristin Carver Smith: Mm-hmm. Mmm. Mmm. Brandi Johnson: And I think it's Anita de Monte laughs last. So she is a New Yorker, Puerto Rican from New York and ⁓ just a brilliant, brilliant writer. She also writes a column for one of the, know, whether it's the Atlantic or, one of those, ⁓ but she, anyway, she's brilliant. ⁓ And so I just love her take. It's just so like. Kristin Carver Smith: Mm. Mm. ⁓ Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mmm. Brandi Johnson: juicy and contextualized and nuanced and I love her take on anything and everything. ⁓ And let's see who else recently? I've been I've been reposting a lot of I'm gonna blink on the name but it's like it's like teaching teaching justice or teaching I don't know it's teaching something. ⁓ We'll find it we'll put in the show notes but yeah but they ⁓ they're just they're just so good at helping everyone understand even like for me like I learned things during Black History Month that I didn't know you know but like they're just so good at kind of just like those like hidden stories and just like hidden gems of like what what makes us who we are ⁓ and then when I had one Kristin Carver Smith: Hmm. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brandi Johnson: versus also just that, man, these rapid fire ones, y'all can tell, like we are in the moment. There is no script. Cause your girl is blanking. But yeah, if I think of any more, I'll definitely. ⁓ we the urban. I love we the urban. Love them. Kristin Carver Smith: We'll get you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let us know. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, mm-hmm, yes, yes, oh, so good. All right, last question. What's something that's bringing you joy right now? Brandi Johnson: Mmm. ⁓ so many things. I... I'm just loving life. And for anyone... I know. And for anyone where that sounds like, ⁓ okay, like a cop-out, I just... I've come through a season of immense challenge. ⁓ Kristin Carver Smith: Hmm. We are not we are not mad about that. Yep. Brandi Johnson: and struggle and heartache and just feeling like I'm climbing the ladder one toenail at a time, okay, like barely hanging on. And through it, I've just been able to cultivate within myself this sense of stability comes from inside. Kristin Carver Smith: Yep. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yep, mm, yeah. Yes. Yes. Brandi Johnson: not externally, which is something I could have of course intellectually understood for years and years, but it's just now clicking. And so yeah, every day feels like, yep. And I'm just, being more kind to myself. Like yesterday I was like, there's two things I absolutely have to get done. And I did those two things and that was all I did. You know, like I had to tell myself like, this is enough. Yeah. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mmm. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's enough. Yeah. Ugh. Brandi Johnson: Yeah, and so I think just, yeah, just a lot of understanding that my timing is when I when I think I'm behind, which I think all of us have felt in some way or another, I think I'm behind. Or when I feel slow. I remind myself that my people like death. Kristin Carver Smith: Yep. Mm, yep. Brandi Johnson: My people are like me and they're drawn to depth and realness and genuine things. And that's, that takes time and that is slower and it's not an Instagram economy of reels and reels in 30 seconds. And yeah, so I'm kind of, I'm coming to terms with, with some of that for myself. Kristin Carver Smith: Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. it's so good. ⁓ my gosh. Well, this is one of the many reasons why I had to have you back over and over and over again, because we're going to have a million conversations. And I've always said that for our conversations, we should have hit record. And so now we just actually get to do that. So it's quite exciting. ⁓ Thank you so much for joining us today, for joining us at Justin Joyful. And you all can learn more about Brandeis at Brandi Johnson: Yes, so excited. Yes. It's so true. Kristin Carver Smith: Brandeis Johnson, and that is B-R-A-N-D-E-I-S Nicole. is Brandi's, Brandi, you're on Instagram, you're on TikTok, you, you. Also, and just like, just an aside, ⁓ Brandeis is one of those people who, watch all of her stories. Like, you, there's something about, and I love your walk-in talks. Brandi Johnson: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. LinkedIn, girl. I'm everywhere. Mm-hmm. you Mm-hmm. Kristin Carver Smith: So it's like, don't want people to miss the walk-in talks. So you have to go follow Brandeis again, at Brandeis Nicole. I'm so excited for people to go down the rabbit hole that is your work and fall in love with you the way that we have, the way that I have. Again, thank you, times a million, for being with us today, and we can't wait to have you back on again soon. Brandi Johnson: Hahaha Yeah. This has been everything, everything. Thank you so much for having me and for everyone who's listening. I also can't wait to be back and to have be in conversation community with everyone again. Kristin Carver Smith: Yeah, awesome.