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Almost Famous In Depth: Ariel Frenkel · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

0:01
Speaker 1: This is Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous in Depth.
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Speaker 1: All right, today we're joined on the Almost Famous podcast
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Speaker 1: for a very special episode Ariel. Welcome. Hi. You have
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Speaker 1: been doing the rounds here recently. You've been talking about
0:17
Speaker 1: this show a lot. Are you sick of it yet?
0:21
Speaker 1: I could never get sick of talking about the show.
0:24
Speaker 1: That's not true, I promise you that's not true. I
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Speaker 1: think it's nice to be able to talk about the experience,
0:31
Speaker 1: and I feel like from each conversation you get a
0:33
Speaker 1: different take from different people and they ask different questions.
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Speaker 1: So it hasn't become redundant for me yet, but maybe
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Speaker 1: one day I'll get tired of it. Well, you know,
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Speaker 1: it is a cool experience. And I will say, as
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Speaker 1: I was prepping for this, you have you have an
0:49
Speaker 1: experience that not everybody can can relate with that came
0:54
Speaker 1: onto the show and then have been removed from the show.
0:57
Speaker 1: You pretty much personally came out, in my opinion, and unscathed.
1:01
Speaker 1: Like nobody is hating on Ariio. Everybody loves Ariel. How
1:04
Speaker 1: does that feel? I think there will always these some haters,
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Speaker 1: some okay majority. I was given amazing advice kind of
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Speaker 1: after the experience about how to handle everything, because going
1:17
Speaker 1: in I kind of didn't know what to anticipate, and
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Speaker 1: everything that I might have anticipated was very different once
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Speaker 1: I was actually in there. So I was given great
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Speaker 1: advice on how to handle everything once because there's this
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Speaker 1: interim period of we kind of leave. I left Thailand
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Speaker 1: and then for a long time, I don't know what
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Speaker 1: anything's going to look like, what's going to play back,
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Speaker 1: what the episodes are going to be like. So someone
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Speaker 1: told me that no matter what people say, I have
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Speaker 1: to keep being authentically myself and sticking true to what
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Speaker 1: I know of myself. So even if people are praising you,
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Speaker 1: if they're saying really nice things, don't take that to heart.
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Speaker 1: But also then don't take the insults too much to
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Speaker 1: heart either. So I feel like there's always something negative
1:55
Speaker 1: that people can say to me. There's always something that
1:57
Speaker 1: can be said in any capacity, But of putting so
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Speaker 1: much weight on the compliments, I'm also not going to
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Speaker 1: put so much weight there, so I won't put weight
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Speaker 1: on the negative commentary. So I appreciate what everyone's saying.
2:08
Speaker 1: Everyone's been so sweet, so nice, and like, I love
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Speaker 1: how people have been reaching out like individually, even through
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Speaker 1: like social media and stuff, and even a Nashville I
2:16
Speaker 1: run into people on the street and they had such
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Speaker 1: kind things to say. But I try to like still
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Speaker 1: stay true to myself, so even if I hear insults
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Speaker 1: or hear someone say something, because people will always, no
2:26
Speaker 1: matter who you are, have something negative to say. So
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Speaker 1: I feel like I try to ignore that and keep
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Speaker 1: being myself no matter like what people say, not trying
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Speaker 1: to shift that. Who gave you this advice a friend
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Speaker 1: of mine that I'm actually well traveling? Oh really, So
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Speaker 1: like they weren't somebody from the show No No, But
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Speaker 1: when they told you this, it just felt like, No,
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Speaker 1: I needed this reminder. It wasn't someone I was super
2:53
Speaker 1: close to. But they said. Let's say someone says that
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Speaker 1: I'm unintelligent, for example, and I'll be trying to prove
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Speaker 1: that person wrong instead of just being intelligent. So whatever
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Speaker 1: the insult or anything is, you're always going to be
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Speaker 1: trying to disprove what people say. So it's better to
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Speaker 1: actually just be yourself because then that way, even the
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Speaker 1: compliments will actually ring true and the insults won't. So
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Speaker 1: it's better to do that than to try to combat
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Speaker 1: what people are saying online and I try to honestly
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Speaker 1: only filter in the positive commentary for the most part.
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Speaker 1: You know, the other thing that happens. It feels like
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Speaker 1: when you're saying this, you wouldn't lose yourself, which is
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Speaker 1: so easy to happen in this experience. Right, you're in
3:32
Speaker 1: it right now. But you went from zero to one hundred, right,
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Speaker 1: I mean a year ago you weren't getting recognized in Nashville,
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Speaker 1: or maybe you were and you could correct me there,
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Speaker 1: but now you are, And it's so easy. There's so
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Speaker 1: many different factors that can cause you to lose who
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Speaker 1: you are and years later you look back and say,
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Speaker 1: what happened? What was all this about? Yeah? Definitely, And
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Speaker 1: I wanted to make sure that I was being authentic
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Speaker 1: to myself through the experience. And I wasn't going to
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Speaker 1: waiver on that, even in moments of being uncomfortable or
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Speaker 1: so I didn't feel like myself. It's always important to
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Speaker 1: kind of go back to your center of gravity one
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Speaker 1: when you can, well, I want to talk about who
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Speaker 1: you are as a person. This is an in depth
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Speaker 1: episode with Ariel. I was Ariel, right, that's how you
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Speaker 1: say it, Ariel. Okay. So there's like a longer. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna do that correctly seventy five
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Speaker 1: percent of the time, I promise, Okay, from here on out,
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Speaker 1: it's going to be right. But these are most listened
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Speaker 1: to episodes here at the Almost Famous Podcast because I
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Speaker 1: think people really like to know who they are watching
4:34
Speaker 1: and who they are seeing on television. So let's start
4:38
Speaker 1: at the beginning before or not at the beginning necessarily,
4:41
Speaker 1: but who were you before this show? What was your job?
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Speaker 1: What were your hobbies? What are your friend group like?
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Speaker 1: Give us a little insight. Should I start for the beginning?
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Speaker 1: I started my college days whenever it feels like it
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Speaker 1: matters the most. Well. I grew up in New York.
4:56
Speaker 1: After New York, I moved to DC for school. I
4:59
Speaker 1: went to Dow George Washington, and I actually made my
5:02
Speaker 1: closest friends there. I don't think I had as many
5:05
Speaker 1: close relationships with people in high school, like typical bully story.
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Speaker 1: But I really made like my lifelong, like forever kind
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Speaker 1: of partner friends in college and I still we're kind
5:17
Speaker 1: of in a group of four, and then many people
5:18
Speaker 1: outside of that. And then I graduated college and actually
5:24
Speaker 1: moved to LA to pursue a job in entertainment. I
5:27
Speaker 1: worked at a talent agency and it's like grad school,
5:30
Speaker 1: but it is a very intense experience and I learned
5:34
Speaker 1: a lot in two years. I then worked in hospitality.
5:38
Speaker 1: I've kind of switched around a lot of different jobs.
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Speaker 1: I most recently was working for The Financial Times, and
5:45
Speaker 1: then I switched to freelance marketing. So I basically now
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Speaker 1: work with brands, building brands up, doing all the marketing
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Speaker 1: strategy for them from the beauty space to the fashion space,
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Speaker 1: and also through word of mouth through anyone that actually
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Speaker 1: wants to work with me based on my previous experience.
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Speaker 1: So uh, and it's it's a question that so many
6:03
Speaker 1: get asked at this stage, Now do you plan on
6:05
Speaker 1: continuing to work at the job that you have before?
6:08
Speaker 1: So I now work in freelance. I'm going to keep
6:10
Speaker 1: that job as long as I can because I really
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Speaker 1: like building brands from the ground up and helping people
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Speaker 1: visualize their strategy. I was able to basically apply everything
6:18
Speaker 1: I've learned. I've worked since I was sixteen years old.
6:20
Speaker 1: I over the summer. Was intered at the first time
6:23
Speaker 1: when I was sixteen at a PR firm, and I
6:26
Speaker 1: just loved the rush of like being surrounded by people
6:28
Speaker 1: that are kind of running around the clock. I was
6:30
Speaker 1: with all twenty six year olds at that time, and
6:32
Speaker 1: I just felt like writing copy and getting involved. And
6:36
Speaker 1: to me, I always prioritize even work over schooling and
6:39
Speaker 1: things like that. So I interned every single year when
6:42
Speaker 1: I was actually in school through both kind of like
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Speaker 1: different semesters of the year and then also in the summer.
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Speaker 1: So then, now, do you feel like your experience on
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Speaker 1: the show? Has it given you any new insights? Do
6:54
Speaker 1: you you feel like it's going to help you? I mean,
6:56
Speaker 1: I would imagine. I don't want to assume, because most
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Speaker 1: like good people don't. But you didn't go into this
7:02
Speaker 1: show thing hey, this is going to help my career.
7:04
Speaker 1: But now you're seeing the you know, the backside of
7:07
Speaker 1: the show in what opportunities are available. Do you think
7:09
Speaker 1: it's going to help in this next chapter? I don't
7:13
Speaker 1: necessarily think so's it can hurt and depending on the
7:16
Speaker 1: job opportunity. But I'm more so I'm less interested in
7:18
Speaker 1: the corporate world and I kind of left that and
7:22
Speaker 1: I'm more interested in like the startup and freelancing space,
7:25
Speaker 1: so that it can hurt you in more corporate environments
7:29
Speaker 1: because people question your participation. So I actually really had
7:32
Speaker 1: to think about it before I went into the show,
7:34
Speaker 1: because that could really hurt my chances of going back
7:37
Speaker 1: into kind of a large corporation and even the previous
7:40
Speaker 1: work experience that I had. So I really had to
7:42
Speaker 1: be meticulous about it, think about it, and so far
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Speaker 1: I think when people search me there won't be kind
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Speaker 1: of negative commentary or anything like that that they see
7:49
Speaker 1: from my experience on the show. But I also had
7:52
Speaker 1: to be really careful about what kind of roles I
7:55
Speaker 1: want to pivot into now if I do decide to
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Speaker 1: go back, it's like the startup space. Yeah no, you again.
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Speaker 1: You carried yourself tremendously on the show, and you stayed
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Speaker 1: authentic to who you are. I think that's a big
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Speaker 1: reason why you are such a fan favorite, and you
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Speaker 1: have been busy talking about the show since the show.
8:11
Speaker 1: Let's give us a little more insight here. If I
8:14
Speaker 1: did my research correctly, your national Ellie is Ukrainian. Correct, Yeah,
8:21
Speaker 1: I'm Ukrainian Jewish. Ukrainian Jewish. You grew up in New
8:24
Speaker 1: York City, as you said, you moved to LA but
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Speaker 1: you are a world traveler. Also, you do enjoy travel.
8:31
Speaker 1: That is a big part of your life, correct, Yeah,
8:32
Speaker 1: it always has been. Through work. I traveled a lot
8:35
Speaker 1: for most of my jobs, and I also worked for
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Speaker 1: a company that was primarily based in London, and then
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Speaker 1: a previous company as well that was between LA and
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Speaker 1: New York, but we traveled all over. Because it was
8:44
Speaker 1: in the hospitality space, we did a lot of on
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Speaker 1: the groundwork where we checked out different hotels and restaurants
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Speaker 1: and so on to kind of see what the market
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Speaker 1: is like. And in between every job I've made, start
8:55
Speaker 1: to do a big trip, usually by myself. Again, between
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Speaker 1: when I left the talent agency space and was moving
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Speaker 1: into hospitality, I went to Asia on my own because
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Speaker 1: I knew I wouldn't have that like two month period
9:05
Speaker 1: to have off again. So I think it's important to
9:08
Speaker 1: travel to see the world, and if you can do
9:11
Speaker 1: it within a certain budget as well. I like the
9:13
Speaker 1: challenge of being able to do so. You're you you definitely,
9:18
Speaker 1: I mean least we got this sense that you're adventurous.
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Speaker 1: You're One of your final dates was Zach was eating
9:26
Speaker 1: insects and we said here at the almost famous podcast, Um,
9:30
Speaker 1: how cool of a moment. That was because traditionally on
9:33
Speaker 1: the show or other shows, you see people traveled to
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Speaker 1: different cultures and kind of get grossed out by whatever
9:40
Speaker 1: is being put in front of you or whatever, and
9:42
Speaker 1: it's it's always a very awkward, I feel like scene
9:45
Speaker 1: because it's it's it's disrespectful in my mind. And you
9:50
Speaker 1: especially did not disrespect you dove in and you enjoyed
9:54
Speaker 1: it and you talked about good it was. I thought
9:56
Speaker 1: it was a really great moment for the show to
9:58
Speaker 1: see somebody respect culture in different people's lifestyles like you did.
10:04
Speaker 1: I think you always have to. And it's also smart
10:05
Speaker 1: sometimes to do research before you go somewhar to know
10:08
Speaker 1: the customs because even a handshake can be disrespectful in
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Speaker 1: certain cultures. So I think it's very important to do
10:13
Speaker 1: as much research as you can, no matter which new
10:15
Speaker 1: city you're going to and country as well. Yeah, well,
10:19
Speaker 1: thank you. I guess it was a great thing to
10:22
Speaker 1: see on television. Well, I want to dive into your
10:25
Speaker 1: time on the show. Now we've got a picture of
10:28
Speaker 1: who you are when you got signed up, when you
10:32
Speaker 1: agreed to come on the show, were you already interested
10:35
Speaker 1: in Zach was this already something or in somebody that
10:39
Speaker 1: you were intrigued by, or is this just a new
10:41
Speaker 1: experience to have a lot of fun with. No, I
10:43
Speaker 1: was definitely I found out. I signed up for the
10:45
Speaker 1: experience not knowing that it would be Zach, but I
10:47
Speaker 1: found out before going in. So were you excited? Yeah,
10:53
Speaker 1: I was excited. Okay. I definitely was guarded coming in,
10:57
Speaker 1: and I was cautious because I didn't know what to
11:00
Speaker 1: think of the experience and what to think of someone
11:02
Speaker 1: kind of trying to pursue a relationship in that kind
11:04
Speaker 1: of a dynamic. But the more I got to know him,
11:06
Speaker 1: the more excited I got, and the more I kind
11:09
Speaker 1: of felt like, yes, he wasn't part of like the
11:11
Speaker 1: typical kind of I don't really have a type, honestly,
11:15
Speaker 1: I like to say that, but he's definitely not in
11:17
Speaker 1: line with like anyone I've dated in the last few years.
11:19
Speaker 1: And he really reminded me of a lot of the
11:22
Speaker 1: relationships I had in college, and his kindness and his
11:24
Speaker 1: sweetness and the way he was really like a great
11:27
Speaker 1: listener and made me feel comfortable in such an uncomfortable environment. Yeah,
11:31
Speaker 1: I got more excited as I got to know him,
11:33
Speaker 1: because I don't like to really base anything off of
11:36
Speaker 1: what you see on someone on television or what they
11:38
Speaker 1: might be like, because you might be disappointed or they
11:40
Speaker 1: might just be different when you meet them. So I
11:42
Speaker 1: was very excited as much as I could be, but
11:45
Speaker 1: I like to like limit my emotions until I really
11:47
Speaker 1: meet someone to get to know them. So I mean,
11:49
Speaker 1: you know, I think one thing that we've been critical
11:53
Speaker 1: of here and we said, oh, we don't know if
11:56
Speaker 1: it's always fair to Zach is you know, his listening
11:59
Speaker 1: abilities was not exactly shown on television. But we had
12:04
Speaker 1: Jess on a week or so ago and she said
12:07
Speaker 1: he was a good listener. You're saying he's a good listener,
12:11
Speaker 1: can you if you don't mind maybe like supporting the
12:14
Speaker 1: dude a little bit and validating that, yes, he did
12:17
Speaker 1: actually listen and he wasn't just quick to cut the
12:19
Speaker 1: conversation off and move on. Of course, he was a
12:23
Speaker 1: great listener. And I think that people kind of said
12:25
Speaker 1: this previously, but people put such an emphasis on empathy
12:29
Speaker 1: and use these words that they actually don't align with themselves.
12:32
Speaker 1: You don't have to have the same experience as someone
12:34
Speaker 1: to be there for them and to make them feel
12:38
Speaker 1: better about their experience, or just to listen, you can
12:41
Speaker 1: give off a sense of sympathy, because those are two
12:43
Speaker 1: very different things. So I felt like Zach was very
12:46
Speaker 1: sympathetic to different people's experiences. But there's also a limitation
12:49
Speaker 1: to how much you can really be there for someone
12:52
Speaker 1: that you're getting to know on such a short period
12:54
Speaker 1: of time, especially in the first few weeks, because ultimately,
12:57
Speaker 1: like these people don't know each other, so it's very
12:59
Speaker 1: hard to sit there and have and hear about a
13:02
Speaker 1: really major life event of someone's and be able to
13:05
Speaker 1: contribute and comment back so much. Because also if you
13:08
Speaker 1: interrupt them or you don't have a good pace in
13:10
Speaker 1: how you're actually having that dialogue, it can come off
13:13
Speaker 1: as disrespectful if you're like too engaged, and you kind
13:16
Speaker 1: of also don't have experience in what they've kind of
13:18
Speaker 1: gone through. So I think that's a lot of pressure
13:21
Speaker 1: to put on someone to always be asking the right
13:24
Speaker 1: questions without even a license therapist. He's not a psychologist,
13:29
Speaker 1: you know, he doesn't understand how to dissect these things.
13:31
Speaker 1: He's also someone getting to know someone. So I think,
13:34
Speaker 1: especially as the season progressed and he got to know
13:36
Speaker 1: people better, he was able to get more of an
13:38
Speaker 1: understanding of their experience and also that connection was there. Yeah,
13:42
Speaker 1: And so when did you feel like your connection with
13:44
Speaker 1: him really spark Then? When did it go from being
13:47
Speaker 1: interested and intrigued to being like, this is somebody now
13:50
Speaker 1: I want to pursue in our one on one Estonia.
13:53
Speaker 1: I feel like that was really a turning point for me.
13:55
Speaker 1: I think it was really nice that we were able
13:57
Speaker 1: to have a slow build and a slow progression because
14:00
Speaker 1: it was it allowed us to kind of enjoy the
14:03
Speaker 1: environment and the difficulty of it because I was able
14:05
Speaker 1: to see him slowly and slowly each week, and I
14:08
Speaker 1: kind of feel like that's how we were able to
14:10
Speaker 1: get to the right pace by the Uestolia date and
14:13
Speaker 1: then we really like transcended everything by that point in
14:26
Speaker 1: your mind, I mean, after that date, did you believe
14:30
Speaker 1: and could you first see yourself being with Zach at
14:33
Speaker 1: the end? I could, Yeah, And I think, you know,
14:37
Speaker 1: it's obviously it's a little bit of well you've been again,
14:41
Speaker 1: You've been praised by Bachelor Nation for your poise, but
14:43
Speaker 1: it's a little bit of a it's a sad storyline
14:49
Speaker 1: that I feel like probably most people now are asking
14:52
Speaker 1: you about like the last you know episode of the show.
14:55
Speaker 1: It's kind of the marking on your storyline because your
14:57
Speaker 1: story was incredible with Zach from start to finish through
15:01
Speaker 1: this season, and it did it. It kind of ramped
15:04
Speaker 1: up and then it continued and at the end, nobody
15:07
Speaker 1: that was watching could really tell, like who was going
15:10
Speaker 1: to be there in the end, but it wasn't you.
15:12
Speaker 1: And so people are asking you about that moment. Not
15:17
Speaker 1: to jump completely ahead, but when that last Row ceremony
15:20
Speaker 1: existed and you had this such a great thing, you
15:22
Speaker 1: had such a great thing going with Zach, were you
15:24
Speaker 1: surprised that you're going to be going home? Or did
15:26
Speaker 1: you pretty much foresee it happening in the overnight that
15:30
Speaker 1: this was your last week. I didn't see it on
15:33
Speaker 1: our date in the overnight because I was the first
15:35
Speaker 1: date and I felt like we had such honestly a
15:37
Speaker 1: great time talking and talking about our features and things
15:39
Speaker 1: like that. But I was very kind of honest about
15:41
Speaker 1: what I was looking for and honest about the way
15:44
Speaker 1: I was feeling as well, and I kind of forgot
15:47
Speaker 1: about the other dynamics. I forgot about the other women.
15:49
Speaker 1: I forgot that there was other people there, because you're
15:51
Speaker 1: also not surrounded by the women at this point, so
15:54
Speaker 1: you don't know how their dates are going, you don't
15:55
Speaker 1: know how their connections are progressing, and you kind of
15:58
Speaker 1: forget that it's not just you Zach in a way.
16:01
Speaker 1: So I was initially shocked to be going home, but
16:04
Speaker 1: at the actual rose ceremony, I noticed that he wasn't
16:06
Speaker 1: making eye contact, that there was a long speech given
16:09
Speaker 1: about what it transpired. I knew it wasn't related to me,
16:12
Speaker 1: So I was able to pick up on the fact
16:13
Speaker 1: that I was going home in that moment, but honestly
16:16
Speaker 1: forgot that that was an option walking into the rose ceremony,
16:19
Speaker 1: just because of how our date went. It's interesting, most
16:24
Speaker 1: people we talked to have a pretty good feeling that
16:27
Speaker 1: last week that that was that was it for them,
16:31
Speaker 1: like they'd be back on a planehead and home. And
16:33
Speaker 1: you are saying that you realize that at the rose
16:36
Speaker 1: ceremony itself, that when he wasn't making into contact, you're
16:40
Speaker 1: picking up on his body language that this was going
16:45
Speaker 1: to be it for you. I also had to remembered
16:47
Speaker 1: that he had other strong connections because you get so
16:50
Speaker 1: wrapped up in your date and your experience with this person,
16:52
Speaker 1: so you forget that they you know, you objectively know
16:56
Speaker 1: that they're going on another date, that there's the other
16:57
Speaker 1: women there, but seeing the other women as well, I
17:00
Speaker 1: had remembered how strong those connections were from kind of
17:03
Speaker 1: a very early point because we had progressed so late,
17:06
Speaker 1: kind of in the process. By Estonia that was kind
17:08
Speaker 1: of the last one on one, So I felt like
17:10
Speaker 1: I had been reminded of the reality of everything so
17:13
Speaker 1: versus being so wrapped up and caught up in our
17:16
Speaker 1: date and our experience in our relationship, because I try
17:19
Speaker 1: to always look at our individual experience versus comparing myself
17:22
Speaker 1: to the other women. And I was also throughout the
17:25
Speaker 1: experience able to gauge more what the other relationships were
17:27
Speaker 1: like based on the women coming back talking about their date,
17:30
Speaker 1: talking about the connection. So I think being also separate
17:34
Speaker 1: from the women not being in the same like hotels
17:36
Speaker 1: them and vicinity, I just kind of was reminded of
17:39
Speaker 1: the reality of everything while the rose ceremony is happening. Yeah,
17:43
Speaker 1: So I mean, are you close with the other women
17:46
Speaker 1: with gabbing, Katie, Were you close with them going into it? Yeah?
17:49
Speaker 1: I was very close to them from the really beginning. Honestly,
17:52
Speaker 1: it was kind of the three of us being very
17:54
Speaker 1: close throughout the entire experience, and I also had close
17:56
Speaker 1: relationships with the other women, but I had a particular
17:59
Speaker 1: close Cicadian Gabby. Yeah, so it is a weird you know,
18:04
Speaker 1: people don't always know this when they're watching it, but
18:07
Speaker 1: it is a weird week because you go from kind
18:10
Speaker 1: of being in this house with you know, all of
18:13
Speaker 1: these people, talking, playing cards, doing whatever you do to
18:15
Speaker 1: entertain yourself, and then all of a sudden, before you
18:18
Speaker 1: know it, you're at your own home and then you're
18:22
Speaker 1: isolated for you know, I think for me it was
18:25
Speaker 1: around like a week and a half, like almost ten
18:27
Speaker 1: days of being alone, just entertaining myself while at the
18:32
Speaker 1: same time still trying to remember that I'm like dating
18:34
Speaker 1: this person and I am on a show. But it
18:38
Speaker 1: gets it's a really weird dynamic at the end. I
18:41
Speaker 1: think it's very isolating by the end, and I think
18:44
Speaker 1: not being able. It's funny because throughout the entire experience,
18:47
Speaker 1: it's very overwhelming to be surrounded by so many women
18:49
Speaker 1: at once, to have all these dates and all these things,
18:51
Speaker 1: and that can breed elements of jealousy that can breed
18:54
Speaker 1: elements of kind of comparison. But it's actually really hard.
18:58
Speaker 1: I think it would be very difficult as well to
19:00
Speaker 1: have the women come back after their dates, because I
19:02
Speaker 1: know that's happened in the past. Yeah, I know Zach
19:05
Speaker 1: definitely wanted to keep us separate, and that was much
19:08
Speaker 1: better for us objectively, but it was very difficult to
19:12
Speaker 1: also feel so isolated in those in those moments, in
19:14
Speaker 1: those points, and you're you're disconnected from from your friends,
19:17
Speaker 1: from your family, from anyone really, so you're just a
19:20
Speaker 1: left alone with your thoughts, and that's not always the
19:22
Speaker 1: best headspace and feeling to have. Yeah, I wonder you
19:25
Speaker 1: don't have to answer it. But I'm just curious now
19:27
Speaker 1: that you say that, because in past seasons, most of
19:31
Speaker 1: the seasons here is recently, we've seen the women come
19:34
Speaker 1: back from these dates or the men come back from
19:37
Speaker 1: these dates and be around each other. I wonder with
19:41
Speaker 1: this particular scenario, obviously, with what happened with Zach, I
19:47
Speaker 1: wonder what the dynamic would have been like, if it
19:50
Speaker 1: would have changed things, if it would have made the
19:51
Speaker 1: things more tumultuous, or if it would have made things
19:54
Speaker 1: easier because everybody could have talked in one space. What
19:57
Speaker 1: do you I mean if you want to answer it,
19:58
Speaker 1: or if you can't answer, what do you think? I
20:02
Speaker 1: think we all had so much respect for each other,
20:05
Speaker 1: and we still do now despite the things that had happened,
20:07
Speaker 1: and we would never blame one another for anything. So
20:11
Speaker 1: and the way we're able to be so happy for
20:13
Speaker 1: Katie now and have such a normal dynamic and relationship.
20:16
Speaker 1: I just think that if we had been able to
20:18
Speaker 1: have a conversation and it was more so even privatized,
20:21
Speaker 1: that could have been beneficial to all of us. Yea
20:25
Speaker 1: to have that awareness, because I think there was a
20:27
Speaker 1: lack of awareness of what had happened, And I think
20:30
Speaker 1: for me, I'll only speak on my own experience. For
20:32
Speaker 1: me personally, standing at the Rose ceremony and not knowing
20:35
Speaker 1: what had happened or what Zach was talking about, and
20:37
Speaker 1: then being sent home and still not knowing for a
20:40
Speaker 1: long period of time, I think that would have definitely
20:42
Speaker 1: eased a lot of my own confusion and my own
20:46
Speaker 1: lack of understanding of anything that's transpired and tile and
20:49
Speaker 1: outside of me. How long were you confused for? When
20:52
Speaker 1: did you find out how did you find out? When
20:55
Speaker 1: did stuff start making sense? I found out a lot
20:58
Speaker 1: of information in watching it, So I think that was
21:01
Speaker 1: the really difficult part in watching everything back, we all
21:04
Speaker 1: found out the full scope of what had happened, and
21:07
Speaker 1: I think that was really hard. That episode was the
21:09
Speaker 1: hardest for me to personally watch, not because it was
21:12
Speaker 1: necessarily even just me being sent home and seeing the
21:14
Speaker 1: difficulty get the breakup. I feel like everything was overshadowed
21:18
Speaker 1: for something that I felt like took away from all
21:19
Speaker 1: of our relationships in different ways, and I just didn't
21:21
Speaker 1: like the way anything was handled. What were your emotions
21:25
Speaker 1: watching it? Were you angry? Were you sad? I went
21:28
Speaker 1: through a wave of a lot of different emotions. I
21:30
Speaker 1: was very confused, and then I was really sad watching
21:33
Speaker 1: it and seeing that even when you see kind of
21:36
Speaker 1: us parting and me saying goodbye to Zack and all
21:39
Speaker 1: these things, I felt like it quickly shifted to another topic.
21:41
Speaker 1: So it was really sad to see that my relationship
21:44
Speaker 1: was kind of overshadowed by a single week and a
21:49
Speaker 1: single experience. And yes, things are really poorly handled, but
21:52
Speaker 1: I felt like there was so much like kind of
21:54
Speaker 1: beauty in that relationship and we had gotten so close
21:56
Speaker 1: at that point, and I didn't like how everything was
21:59
Speaker 1: position and so I thought that was really difficult to
22:02
Speaker 1: see and difficult to watch. And then I was angry
22:05
Speaker 1: as well in terms of the whole week being centered
22:08
Speaker 1: around sex and how things that should have been private
22:11
Speaker 1: were publicized. So I was also angry for my friends
22:14
Speaker 1: that I was angry for myself, and then I was
22:17
Speaker 1: sadness kind of Again, It's tough because we got to
22:20
Speaker 1: walk a thin line here between being judgmental and critical
22:24
Speaker 1: but also understanding. You know that we have been able
22:27
Speaker 1: now to look back on this moment, and there was
22:30
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of complexity in this moment because
22:32
Speaker 1: I really do believe Zach thought he was doing the
22:34
Speaker 1: right thing, like I really and I think his intentions
22:37
Speaker 1: were really good. I think he meant well by it.
22:39
Speaker 1: But I think all of us could see watching it
22:41
Speaker 1: and preparing for especially those who have been on the
22:44
Speaker 1: show before, that hey, this is going to be really
22:46
Speaker 1: hard to navigate, Like you are making statements early on
22:50
Speaker 1: that you don't know if you're gonna be able to
22:52
Speaker 1: keep so for you, but I can I can say
22:56
Speaker 1: that and judge that and criticize that from my couch,
23:00
Speaker 1: I have no play you know, role in this at
23:02
Speaker 1: all other than talking to people like you on this podcast.
23:06
Speaker 1: But as you look back on it now, how do
23:10
Speaker 1: you wish this would have gone? Like? What do you
23:12
Speaker 1: wish Zach would have done that week? Knowing that, okay,
23:15
Speaker 1: he didn't believe that having sex with any anybody was
23:17
Speaker 1: going to be like he thought the better option would
23:19
Speaker 1: be to keep that off the table for the healthiness
23:22
Speaker 1: of all relationships involved. I think that was his intention.
23:25
Speaker 1: How would you have liked this to play out? Then?
23:28
Speaker 1: Between the you know four of you? I just wish
23:32
Speaker 1: he had a conversation with all of us that was private.
23:35
Speaker 1: When it came to intimacy. I think there should be
23:37
Speaker 1: discretion de quorum in that, and I don't think that
23:40
Speaker 1: should be kind of publicized in any way. I think
23:42
Speaker 1: in previous season there's always been like this question mark
23:45
Speaker 1: of what happened in the fantasy suites. Think I hate
23:47
Speaker 1: that terminology what happened in the overnights? So I wish
23:51
Speaker 1: that things were handled with privacy, and I also wish
23:54
Speaker 1: that there were like a very one on one conversation
23:57
Speaker 1: with each person to gauge how they're feeling to people
24:00
Speaker 1: come to that conclusion doesn't matter feeling on it, And
24:03
Speaker 1: I respected Zach's attentions and I respected I think he
24:06
Speaker 1: tried to approach the week with kind of a noble ideation.
24:11
Speaker 1: He felt very like, this decision is noble and I'm
24:14
Speaker 1: helping everyone, But he actually kind of hurt everyone by
24:17
Speaker 1: making a unilateral decision without everyone else. So each relationship
24:21
Speaker 1: is so different, each person requires such different things. We're
24:24
Speaker 1: all very different personality types as well, and I wish
24:26
Speaker 1: he honored all of those relationships by having a kind
24:30
Speaker 1: of one on one conversation with each person and not
24:33
Speaker 1: approaching the week in a unified way. Well, I mean,
24:35
Speaker 1: for somebody that you've complimented here on the show and
24:38
Speaker 1: other places, and for somebody you have respected and that
24:41
Speaker 1: you built a relationship with, and you know fairly well,
24:45
Speaker 1: why do you think he felt like it was his
24:48
Speaker 1: ability to make this decision for everybody else. I doubt
24:53
Speaker 1: that he thought about the repercussions of this, and I
24:55
Speaker 1: doubt that he ever anticipated the week would play out
24:57
Speaker 1: the way that it did. Again, I think it's kind
24:59
Speaker 1: of like a falsifi nobility, because I think he was
25:01
Speaker 1: trying to protect everyone. I think he always comes from
25:03
Speaker 1: like an earnest and genuine place. I actually don't think
25:06
Speaker 1: he had malintent at all, and I don't think he's
25:08
Speaker 1: just a malicious person in general. And I just can
25:12
Speaker 1: authentically say that based on my experience with him and
25:14
Speaker 1: based on the person that I got to know. So
25:16
Speaker 1: I think that he was trying to kind of please
25:19
Speaker 1: everyone and trying to live up to this like persona
25:23
Speaker 1: of being like a really great kind of bachelor and
25:26
Speaker 1: a great person versus just seeing how everyone else was
25:29
Speaker 1: feeling and tapping into those emotions. I think sometimes there
25:32
Speaker 1: must be so much pressure to be kind of this
25:34
Speaker 1: perfect figure and to be carrying an entire season. So
25:38
Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes when you try to be the best,
25:40
Speaker 1: you don't end up being that because you're not actually
25:42
Speaker 1: being true to your relationships, true to yourself. And I
25:46
Speaker 1: feel like it also just put a really negative spin
25:49
Speaker 1: on just physical intimacy, and we're all adults, and I
25:52
Speaker 1: don't think there need to be such a stigma around
25:55
Speaker 1: intimacy and such a stigma around any decisions that were made,
25:58
Speaker 1: because it made everyone kind of on a disadvantage. Between
26:01
Speaker 1: all the women, Yeah, it's a weird you know, you
26:06
Speaker 1: have great insight into this um because it is a
26:10
Speaker 1: weird week. It's and it's also a very vulnerable week,
26:14
Speaker 1: you know, for everybody involved, the lead and the women,
26:17
Speaker 1: and I know from like past experience, you're going into
26:20
Speaker 1: this week and you know what it, you know represents,
26:25
Speaker 1: and it's the first time that you know, cameras get
26:28
Speaker 1: taken away. It's the first time that maybe you don't
26:29
Speaker 1: have like a nice date planned and you don't have
26:35
Speaker 1: even a time restriction on how late the date's gonna go.
26:37
Speaker 1: Like you you typically know there's an out and so
26:40
Speaker 1: you can ask some questions and have a conversation and
26:42
Speaker 1: then if you're not interested, you know you're going home
26:44
Speaker 1: to your own, separate place at night. This is a
26:46
Speaker 1: weird week for most people because there is vulnerability, and
26:48
Speaker 1: there is this intimacy, no matter at what level, and
26:53
Speaker 1: it you start to feel a lot of pressure. I
26:55
Speaker 1: think the leads do, because you're right, they start to
26:57
Speaker 1: feel like they have to be perfect and if they're
26:59
Speaker 1: not perfect, none of these people are going to be
27:01
Speaker 1: interested in them anymore. And then they're all going to
27:03
Speaker 1: go home because yeah, once you know the cameras go
27:06
Speaker 1: down and the door closes. We're all very human and
27:09
Speaker 1: none of us have it all together. I personally felt
27:12
Speaker 1: like it was one of my favorite experiences because I
27:15
Speaker 1: took the time off camera and so on to just
27:19
Speaker 1: really ask questions back and forth. I think it's nice
27:22
Speaker 1: to have ample time and it feels like you're back
27:24
Speaker 1: in a real kind of dating environment. It feels like
27:27
Speaker 1: you're out of this simulate environment of the show. So
27:30
Speaker 1: it feels really nice to be able to stay with
27:32
Speaker 1: someone for hours. It feels nice to be able to,
27:34
Speaker 1: like see I think people can always be authentic on camera,
27:37
Speaker 1: but there's just like a different feeling when you're when
27:39
Speaker 1: you're off camera and when you're sitting there for just
27:41
Speaker 1: fifteen hours in a row talking. So for me, fortunate
27:45
Speaker 1: that week is looked at in such a negative light
27:47
Speaker 1: and like things happen that we're obviously outside of my
27:50
Speaker 1: control and so on. Because in the actual date itself,
27:54
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed my time with Zach and I really
27:56
Speaker 1: enjoyed speaking kind of into the night and not sleeping
27:59
Speaker 1: and having kind of a romantic date like that, because
28:02
Speaker 1: it feels really nice to be able to just have
28:06
Speaker 1: uninterrupted time with someone that you're potentially going to be
28:09
Speaker 1: getting engaged to. So do you leave that evening having
28:22
Speaker 1: any doubts? I think it was hard for me with
28:25
Speaker 1: my family because I felt like after that evening we
28:28
Speaker 1: had spoken about family, and we'd spoken about things that
28:31
Speaker 1: are obviously my family so important to me, and I
28:33
Speaker 1: just found out more information on how kind of the
28:35
Speaker 1: date went because I obviously couldn't see the conversation that
28:38
Speaker 1: they were having with with Zach, and I think I
28:41
Speaker 1: felt a little bit doubtful about how supportive my parents
28:44
Speaker 1: were and how they were feeling about everything, as well
28:45
Speaker 1: as obviously everyone got to know my brother, and I
28:49
Speaker 1: don't make decisions based off my family, but I also
28:51
Speaker 1: don't want to make decisions that would they would be
28:56
Speaker 1: just so again, Sir or So has been like that
28:59
Speaker 1: was something we had to overcome and that was something
29:01
Speaker 1: that we had to have more conversations about. Do you
29:04
Speaker 1: think if you would have ended up with Zach at
29:05
Speaker 1: the end and you brought him home to your brother,
29:08
Speaker 1: do you think the vibe changes or do you think
29:10
Speaker 1: it's similar. I think my brother would become more understanding
29:14
Speaker 1: over time, like I think my only was is very
29:17
Speaker 1: loving and my family was supportive of me being pursued
29:21
Speaker 1: in this relationship, and they're just happy for me to
29:23
Speaker 1: be happy. But I think they had a hard time
29:26
Speaker 1: conceptualizing finding a relationship on an experience like this, And
29:29
Speaker 1: I think they had just very natural qualms and natural
29:32
Speaker 1: hesitations that I feel like any any parent would have,
29:35
Speaker 1: including myself, if my daughter, we're going on over my son. Yeah,
29:39
Speaker 1: it's it's totally fair for families to feel weird about
29:46
Speaker 1: their loved ones coming back and being like, yeah, I'm good,
29:49
Speaker 1: I might get engaged at this and everybody'd been like,
29:51
Speaker 1: I mean, that's cool, We're happy for you, but this
29:53
Speaker 1: is this is not what we expected. And I feel
29:55
Speaker 1: like I've lost all sense of any type of control
30:00
Speaker 1: or knowledge of where you're at in your life. It's
30:02
Speaker 1: a weird. It's it's a very weird few months for
30:04
Speaker 1: them them. I'm sure, for sure you sign up for
30:08
Speaker 1: the experience. Your family doesn't. Yeah, and they are. I'm
30:12
Speaker 1: for a generation, so my parents have never experienced anything
30:15
Speaker 1: like this and never even thought this would be something
30:17
Speaker 1: that I would be doing obviously, so I think it's
30:20
Speaker 1: hard for them to wrap their head around. I think
30:21
Speaker 1: they still don't care what the show is, but I
30:23
Speaker 1: think in the end they would have been happy for me.
30:25
Speaker 1: But I felt like it would take a lot more
30:26
Speaker 1: kind of conversations and sit down, so they would have
30:29
Speaker 1: seemed more like proof of the relationship in a way,
30:32
Speaker 1: as did your brother growing up when you brought people home.
30:35
Speaker 1: Was this also a similar vibe that he would give
30:39
Speaker 1: the people you're dating or is this just because this
30:43
Speaker 1: environment was so weird combination? But he was always like this, Okay,
30:48
Speaker 1: my brother always tried to grill people and put them
30:52
Speaker 1: on the spot and things like that. It's it's in
30:54
Speaker 1: his nature to be protective and it comes from a
30:57
Speaker 1: place of love that I always kind of hesitant bringing
31:00
Speaker 1: people home because he also just wants the best for me,
31:04
Speaker 1: And I don't think anyone can know what the best
31:06
Speaker 1: for you is except for yourself. So people can create
31:09
Speaker 1: ideas for the partner you should end up with, but
31:11
Speaker 1: they'll never know better than you do. But it comes
31:14
Speaker 1: from a place of love for you always. Yeah, I
31:17
Speaker 1: think he. I mean, my entire family comes from such
31:19
Speaker 1: a place of love. They're so supportive in any decision
31:22
Speaker 1: I make, in any relationship that I've been in. But
31:25
Speaker 1: They're always going to be honest, and I think honesty
31:29
Speaker 1: is more important than sugarcoating things or putting a nice
31:32
Speaker 1: spin on things, because I think honesty is what gets
31:34
Speaker 1: you through to a long term relationship. You want to
31:37
Speaker 1: be able to be honest with your partner. You want
31:38
Speaker 1: your partner to It's not about your partner passing a test,
31:42
Speaker 1: but you want to see if your partner makes the effort.
31:44
Speaker 1: With your family, that's say, if it's more difficult, and
31:46
Speaker 1: I appreciate it Zach not really being kind of scared
31:49
Speaker 1: of the interaction or scared of my brother. That's scared,
31:51
Speaker 1: but I appreciate him continuing on in the relationship and
31:55
Speaker 1: not letting that be such a tarrent. Yeah, that's fair.
31:57
Speaker 1: That's fair. Well, switching gear towards the end of this
32:02
Speaker 1: time with you, and again I want to say thanks
32:04
Speaker 1: for coming on here. I know life's you know, spinning quickly.
32:09
Speaker 1: You've got a lot of requests, and so thanks for
32:11
Speaker 1: coming on here. But I'll last a few final questions
32:14
Speaker 1: kind of about the show. You know, after you after
32:19
Speaker 1: the final Rows moment, a lot of people were vying
32:22
Speaker 1: for you to be the next Batchelorette. They're trying to
32:25
Speaker 1: figure out how that could all work because a lot
32:26
Speaker 1: of people, you know, obviously love Charity and I'm really
32:29
Speaker 1: are excited for the next season, and that's not being
32:32
Speaker 1: taken away from here, but they wanted you to be
32:34
Speaker 1: there as well. If they would have asked you, would
32:37
Speaker 1: you have said yes? Is the first question. No. I
32:41
Speaker 1: think it's a lot of pressure for me personally to
32:42
Speaker 1: take something like that on. And I also feel like
32:45
Speaker 1: it the experience feels like a long time ago, but
32:48
Speaker 1: also doesn't at the same time, and I don't think
32:50
Speaker 1: i'd be ready to be thrown back into environment like
32:52
Speaker 1: that and pursuing multiple relationships in this kind of a setting.
32:56
Speaker 1: Did you feel this way after, I mean, say, a
33:00
Speaker 1: month after you know you're you got sent back home
33:03
Speaker 1: and you're looking at the world and you know you're
33:05
Speaker 1: waiting for the show to air. Were you pretty confident
33:07
Speaker 1: at that point? Yeah, I'm not if they ask me,
33:09
Speaker 1: because you had to assume that you were in the running, like,
33:13
Speaker 1: I'm not doing this. I try to be open minded
33:16
Speaker 1: enough because initially I didn't even want to do the show,
33:18
Speaker 1: and I was trying to be I was very reticent
33:21
Speaker 1: to participate in anything like this and I really had
33:26
Speaker 1: predominantly a great experience and it was really great getting
33:29
Speaker 1: to know Zach. So I didn't want to say definitely no,
33:32
Speaker 1: I want to keep it option, but I think it's
33:35
Speaker 1: a lot of pressure, and I think Charity is handling
33:38
Speaker 1: I'm sure she's handling yourself beautifully, and she is such
33:43
Speaker 1: an incredible person, and I honestly don't like that people
33:45
Speaker 1: are constantly saying that I should be about to writting
33:47
Speaker 1: all these things because I'm personally so happy for her,
33:50
Speaker 1: and I don't think it needs to be two women
33:51
Speaker 1: pinned against each other or any any conversation like that.
33:55
Speaker 1: So I think I haven't really liked the commentary online,
33:57
Speaker 1: even though it's coming from a positive place. I think
34:00
Speaker 1: we'll should throw their support towards Charity, who is the
34:02
Speaker 1: president bachelorette. Yeah sure, yeah, I mean I think I
34:05
Speaker 1: think people are just really excited about you both, Like
34:07
Speaker 1: what a compliment to the two of you. But Charity
34:09
Speaker 1: is gonna rock it, like we have no doubt, right,
34:10
Speaker 1: She's gonna be great. I'm so excited for a Charity
34:13
Speaker 1: to find a fiance, and I know that there's going
34:15
Speaker 1: to be guys throwing themselves at hard Yeah. Yeah, we're
34:18
Speaker 1: pumped to watch it here. So then the next question is,
34:22
Speaker 1: would you consider going on Paradise a lot less pressure
34:25
Speaker 1: than anything you've done so far or being the bachelorette.
34:28
Speaker 1: If they called you and said we'd love to see
34:29
Speaker 1: you on the beach, is that something you'd be interested in.
34:33
Speaker 1: I'm hesitant, but I'm always going to keep my options open.
34:36
Speaker 1: And it's not a no, but it's a yes. So
34:39
Speaker 1: I was ambiguous. I got to ask this because my
34:42
Speaker 1: co host it's her favorite question. That's one of mine too,
34:45
Speaker 1: but I just don't ask it because I let her
34:47
Speaker 1: do it. If you went to Paradise, is there somebody
34:49
Speaker 1: in Bachelor Nation right now that you are interested in
34:54
Speaker 1: or would enjoy seeing walk down the stairs to the beach? Um?
34:59
Speaker 1: As of right now, I don't think so. It's interesting,
35:03
Speaker 1: but people usually have like a one person see them m. Yeah.
35:08
Speaker 1: Usually people who have come on the show know the show,
35:11
Speaker 1: and so they've typically watched the show previously and they're
35:15
Speaker 1: sitting at a place and being like, yes, now that
35:17
Speaker 1: i've you're different in the best of ways, and I
35:20
Speaker 1: want to say this, like you might be the first
35:22
Speaker 1: person I've ever interviewed on this show and the six
35:25
Speaker 1: years of doing this that I really believe, you know,
35:30
Speaker 1: if they were asked to be the Bachelor, I would
35:32
Speaker 1: have said no based on it not being right for
35:34
Speaker 1: you and not feeling like it would have been appropriate
35:36
Speaker 1: for the season of life you're in, and also that
35:39
Speaker 1: you're sitting here going I would think about Paradise like
35:41
Speaker 1: you actually think you would think about it, and you
35:42
Speaker 1: might say no to it, knowing the season of life
35:45
Speaker 1: you're in. Some people just say it. I get the
35:48
Speaker 1: sense that you've you're pretty confident and where you're at
35:54
Speaker 1: in life right now. Yeah, And I think that I'm
35:57
Speaker 1: still doing a lot of personal work right now. I
36:00
Speaker 1: think that people don't understand what it's like to kind
36:03
Speaker 1: of be on the back end of this experience. You
36:06
Speaker 1: are talking about yourself twenty four hours a day. You
36:09
Speaker 1: are getting to the real root cause of why you're
36:11
Speaker 1: actually not in a relationship and what kind of previous relationships.
36:15
Speaker 1: And I had to take a lot of ownership in
36:17
Speaker 1: my past relationships and what had happened to have those
36:22
Speaker 1: relationships kind of dissolve. And I didn't realize how responsible
36:26
Speaker 1: I was and how much I was kind of the
36:28
Speaker 1: arbiter of my own kind of situations falling apart, and
36:31
Speaker 1: I feel like the experience taught me so much about myself,
36:35
Speaker 1: and I had so much personal growth even outside of
36:38
Speaker 1: my growth and my relationship with Zach, So I feel
36:40
Speaker 1: like it's still an ongoing process for me. And it's
36:44
Speaker 1: very difficult to be kind of disconnected from everything in
36:46
Speaker 1: your life, disconnected form everything you know, and having to
36:49
Speaker 1: truly follow your gut and your intuition and those you're
36:53
Speaker 1: talking about yourself all day, and you resurface things that
36:57
Speaker 1: happened to you in middle school that you didn't even
37:00
Speaker 1: I's affected you or bothered you or brought you to
37:02
Speaker 1: the place where you are. I didn't realize how kind
37:04
Speaker 1: of inadvertently cold I'd become in certain ways, and how
37:08
Speaker 1: I push people away in relationships. And I think it
37:11
Speaker 1: took Zack a lot. It took Zack and I a
37:13
Speaker 1: minute as well to kind of get through that. In
37:16
Speaker 1: a way I was always pining, I became this kind
37:18
Speaker 1: of mysterious person, this person that I wanted to project outwards.
37:22
Speaker 1: And I feel like the show really allowed me, and
37:23
Speaker 1: these conversations that I was having with Zach allowed me
37:26
Speaker 1: to work through a lot of past issues, in particularly
37:30
Speaker 1: romantic issues. So it takes a real toll to do
37:34
Speaker 1: an experience like this. It takes a lot, and you
37:36
Speaker 1: can turn that into a net positive. So I really
37:40
Speaker 1: look back on my experience feeling like I've gotten to
37:42
Speaker 1: know myself in a way I never anticipated before. But
37:46
Speaker 1: it takes a lot out of you to do something
37:48
Speaker 1: like that. It takes a lot out of you to
37:49
Speaker 1: put yourself out there in that way, and it is
37:52
Speaker 1: like a very emotionally, physically and so on taxing experience.
37:56
Speaker 1: So what are you doing? What does life look like now? Then?
37:59
Speaker 1: I mean, you're learning this stuff. It kind of puts
38:01
Speaker 1: you in a liminal space like you're kind of sitting
38:03
Speaker 1: between two worlds for a bit as you're processing in
38:06
Speaker 1: realizing what you're learning about yourself. And then where do
38:09
Speaker 1: you go from here? How do you implement these things?
38:12
Speaker 1: What are you doing for everybody listening who feels very
38:15
Speaker 1: similar to you and that they're learning something about themselves
38:19
Speaker 1: and they want to figure out how to implement it
38:21
Speaker 1: into their lives and actually make real positive change. As
38:26
Speaker 1: somebody that I'm picking up on is very thoughtful, how
38:29
Speaker 1: are you working through this? I think it's about forgiving
38:34
Speaker 1: yourself for where you're at, and forgiving yourself for anything
38:39
Speaker 1: you might have done in your plast to bring you
38:41
Speaker 1: to this point. And I think it doesn't necessarily take
38:44
Speaker 1: getting to a breaking point to start your own personal growth,
38:47
Speaker 1: but that can be little things each day. I feel
38:50
Speaker 1: like for me, a big issue was taking everything personally.
38:53
Speaker 1: I used to put myself in every single situation. I
38:56
Speaker 1: thought I was a very sensitive person, but actually I
38:59
Speaker 1: was leaning a narcissistic because I was putting myself in
39:03
Speaker 1: every scenario and taking a lot of words and actions
39:05
Speaker 1: of other people that are living their own lives personally.
39:08
Speaker 1: So I think it's the best advice that I can
39:10
Speaker 1: ever give is to take yourself out of kind of
39:13
Speaker 1: being in your own way. I felt like I learned
39:16
Speaker 1: a lot from the experience because I saw how much
39:19
Speaker 1: I had self sabotaged in my past, and how much
39:21
Speaker 1: people were even in the experience, self sabotaging even before
39:25
Speaker 1: their relationship got to a breaking point, with Zach in particular.
39:28
Speaker 1: So I feel like it's about being kinder to yourself
39:33
Speaker 1: and knowing that every everyone's kind of a work in
39:35
Speaker 1: progress in a way, and there's a much more you
39:38
Speaker 1: can do to kind of progress as a person, but
39:41
Speaker 1: to also know how to take yourself out of situations
39:43
Speaker 1: and understand everyone's going through it too. So when someone
39:47
Speaker 1: like lashes out at you should always stand up for
39:50
Speaker 1: yourself and you should always make it clear that you
39:52
Speaker 1: have your own personal set of boundary, but also to
39:54
Speaker 1: understand that, like, where is this person coming from, and
39:56
Speaker 1: why are they actually acting this way? Why are they
39:59
Speaker 1: so upset? It's not a about me, So it's about
40:02
Speaker 1: taking yourself out of the equations and understanding how everyone's
40:06
Speaker 1: probably going through the same motions and feelings that you are.
40:08
Speaker 1: You know, the show is interesting because people go on
40:13
Speaker 1: to it for a thousand different reasons. You don't really
40:15
Speaker 1: know what you're getting into. Nobody really does you get
40:17
Speaker 1: into it. And there's not one person that I've met
40:21
Speaker 1: that hasn't been changed. And then there's also not one
40:24
Speaker 1: person I've met that if they didn't that if they
40:28
Speaker 1: allowed the show to change them in a positive way,
40:32
Speaker 1: it didn't. It did like people got people were changed
40:35
Speaker 1: in a positive way from the show because they did
40:37
Speaker 1: this introspection and because they dug deep, and because they
40:40
Speaker 1: gave themselves the forgiveness and because they were criticized and
40:44
Speaker 1: watched under a microscope dating somebody. When you come through that,
40:49
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people gain a sense
40:51
Speaker 1: of confidence. And hopefully that's what people's experiences are, because
40:55
Speaker 1: the show can be really hard on people too, But
40:57
Speaker 1: I hope they come out of it and just allowing
40:59
Speaker 1: themselves to be forgiven a little bit because they've done
41:01
Speaker 1: something really difficult and came through it, and that's something
41:04
Speaker 1: to be proud of. Well, final question for you. We
41:10
Speaker 1: talked about your career before the show, we talked about
41:13
Speaker 1: your experience on the show. We talked about a very
41:17
Speaker 1: difficult ending to the show just in general for so
41:21
Speaker 1: many people. And now you're sitting here and you've shared
41:24
Speaker 1: a little bit about what you foresee the next season
41:27
Speaker 1: of your life being. But what can people who are
41:29
Speaker 1: fans of yours, who listen to the show, what can
41:32
Speaker 1: they be looking forward to from you? What do you
41:35
Speaker 1: foresee your next steps being in life? And what are
41:40
Speaker 1: you looking forward to accomplishing. I mean, after this experience,
41:45
Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to being in a relationship. I'm looking
41:47
Speaker 1: forward to now applying everything that I kind of learned
41:51
Speaker 1: from my relationship with Zach, because if a relationship doesn't
41:54
Speaker 1: come to fruition or you don't get engaged, doesn't mean
41:56
Speaker 1: you can't learn from it. So I want to take
41:59
Speaker 1: my experience wood Zac and kind of implement that into
42:02
Speaker 1: my next relationship. And I feel like I'm much more
42:05
Speaker 1: open now to dating and I'm much more open to
42:08
Speaker 1: really being I hate the word vulnerable now, but there's
42:11
Speaker 1: no other word to use. Why do you hate it?
42:13
Speaker 1: I just feel like it's so over to use now world,
42:16
Speaker 1: it's only in your world. Everybody else still enjoys it.
42:19
Speaker 1: You just got it said to you about a thousand
42:21
Speaker 1: times in like a two month span. For me, it's
42:23
Speaker 1: about now entering my next relationship and entering like dating
42:29
Speaker 1: situations and truly being open minded. I thought I was.
42:33
Speaker 1: I thought I did the personal growth, but I think
42:36
Speaker 1: after this experience, I'm very ready to date and I'm
42:39
Speaker 1: very ready to put myself out there. We wish that
42:42
Speaker 1: for you. We're excited to watch you. You're one of
42:45
Speaker 1: our favorites. Really appreciate you coming on. I would love
42:48
Speaker 1: for you to be a co host with either Ashley
42:50
Speaker 1: or myself sometime when we need one, because both of
42:54
Speaker 1: us travel a little bit and she's a mother now
42:56
Speaker 1: and so sometimes she has to be out. But your insight,
43:01
Speaker 1: your wisdom, your poison. Doing that during the season and
43:05
Speaker 1: now is something really admirable. And so keep being you,
43:11
Speaker 1: keep doing you, and thanks for coming on the show.
43:12
Speaker 1: We really appreciate it. Ohsome well, thank you so much
43:15
Speaker 1: for having me. That was another almost famous in depth
43:19
Speaker 1: episode with Ariel, somebody who became a fan favorite on
43:23
Speaker 1: this season of the Bachelor. We hope to see her
43:26
Speaker 1: in Paradise. From that interview, I don't know if we will,
43:32
Speaker 1: and I think that's probably a good thing. Like I
43:34
Speaker 1: think she's gonna make the decision that's best for her,
43:38
Speaker 1: even though selfishly we would all love to see her
43:40
Speaker 1: fine love on the beach. But until then, if you
43:44
Speaker 1: want to catch Ariel season of The Bachelor, you can
43:47
Speaker 1: find that on Hulu. She's also very entertaining on TikTok.
43:53
Speaker 1: You can follow her at a F R E N
43:57
Speaker 1: K E L on On TikTok, you can follow her
44:02
Speaker 1: there until next time. I've been Ben, We'll talk soon.
44:08
Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on
44:11
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.