Latest / Bussin' With The Boys / Bert Kreischer's Final Podcast Appearance + Moving To Nashville

Transcript

Bert Kreischer's Final Podcast Appearance + Moving To Nashville · Bussin' With The Boys

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We're rolling?
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome... What is this, your fourth
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: time on the bus?
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: No, it's my second.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you did the Super Bowl, but it's his
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: second time.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Sitting on the bus.
• 0:10
  Speaker 4: Let's give a round of applause for Burt Kreischer.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Hey, episode 300. Episode 300, bro. Congratulations, gentlemen.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Did you ever think you'd be where you
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: are today?
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: No.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Interviewing the fucking president of the United States?
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Isn't that fucking crazy?
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Hey, how insane was that?
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Fucking... It's wild. It's wild that that's where this is. Yeah.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: It's wild. It's fucking... Congratulations, gentlemen. Thanks, man. Congratulations.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: That was a truly intense experience. One of the most
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: wild experiences was when we got to Trump Tower. They
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: had these bulletproof, obviously there's been like, I don't know
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: how many assassination attempts now.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: God, you could have killed him.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: I heard there was a third in California.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: You were so close. You should have killed him. You
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: were right there.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: We could have.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, we could have.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: If anyone was going to do it, we could have easily,
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: easily killed him.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Dude, you want to talk about numbers. I mean, look
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: at Bob already. Yeah.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: Jack, turn the camera on for this one.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: But dude, they had like two giant panes of a
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: bulletproof glass, but they had like two more that didn't
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: come in. So when we were doing the episode, it
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: was Trump who was covered. Will, who was covered, and
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: then a perfect no covering. If anybody was going to
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: get murdered in this thing, it would have been me.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: I would have been the guy. That would have been
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: great for the show.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: It would have been fantastic for the show. And I
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: did say before we started the show, if I am
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: killed in this process, make sure the show still runs.
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: Still do the interview with a bullet. Absolutely.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I'd like to be killed. I want to be killed.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I don't want to die. I want to be killed.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: I'm with you.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: You don't want to just die. You want to be killed.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: There's always this thing on Instagram that's like women are like, oh,
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: I really want to die peacefully in my sleep. And
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: then it's just men. And it's like the gladiator scene
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: where he's dying or something like a guy in a
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: fighter jet.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Would you want it to be an apex predator?
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: It seems a little too gruesome. I would like the
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: most honorable way possible. Like maybe like some sort of
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: home invasion where I am able to kill the guy. Also,
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: like he stabs me and then I kind of grab
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: him by the throat and bring him in real close.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: And then just slowly slit his throat.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: And then I also pass in the process, but I
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: get the last laugh. I'd like to win, then lose.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Does that make sense?
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: You want to, if I'm going to die, I want
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: to die in a way that I get whoever got
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: me also just before I get got.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: See, death for me is more about the legacy. Like
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: you want to die in a way that everyone goes. Preach.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Damn it. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: to him. Like, fuck.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, God damn it.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: I was just texting with him last week. Yeah.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's like Liam Payne. Liam Payne, you see there like,
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: this was his Instagram story from an hour before he died.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: And he was like, I'm having lunch or whatever.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: That's another one you bring up is like being somebody's
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: last form of communication.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: Ooh. That's a good one. It's being like, hey, you're
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: about Will.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Ooh, let's put up dead texts. And then just be like, yeah, dude.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: I texted him, and you know that was like two
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: minutes before he actually died, right? That was two minutes,
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: and you were the last one.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: What was his last text to you? It was Huskers
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: plus six and a half, and it's Indiana.
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, lock of the week.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I swear to God.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: You see that final score? He was wrong. He was done.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: What is your perfect scenario of dying?
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: It would be rescuing people. So like putting my life
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: on the line for someone in front of people. I
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: need people to see it so that everyone's like, oh
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: my God, he ran in the building. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: And I want to die in front of people. I
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: want people to see me die. Yeah. And I want
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: it to be out of nowhere. I really want it
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: to be a surprise. When I die, I hope that
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I go, shut the fuck up. Get it?
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: This was it? This was it.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Are you kidding? A fucking rattlesnake?
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, that would be the worst. Did you hear?
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden, like, ah, what was that?
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Dude, I knew a dude who almost died. He was
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: cutting his toenails on a glass. I've talked about this
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: so much. He was cutting his toenails on a glass,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: out of the shower, naked, on a glass table. And
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: the table shattered, and it cut his femoral artery, and
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: he almost died cutting his fucking toenails.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: That'd be... That's probably the top five worst ways to go.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that'd be a brutal way to go.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Well, that or fucking autoerotic asphyxiation. That would be a
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: bad way.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like the one guy, one cup video. I don't
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: think he died, but.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, the jar?
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the jar that breaks in his asshole.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Dude.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: That'd be a.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Just.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Imagine being unconscious and the doctor's being like, what do
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: you do? Like that's how it fucking happened? There's a
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: video called One Guy, One Jar, One Man, One Jar.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: It was during the time of like Two Girls, One Cup,
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: all those like gory videos that everyone would kind of
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: watch in high school. Very popular branding.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: A lot of people would name their podcast after it.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: Very popular branding.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Very popular branding.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: A twisted tea for Mr.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Chrysler.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Thank you very much.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: But yeah, so the video starts... It's a, you just
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: see a guy's legs and then a jar and the
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: jars to his legs. And then he sits down and he,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: the jar goes in his ass and then he leans
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: back in here and the jar pops in his ass.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: And then he kind of does it the half squat
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: and he takes glass shards and pulls it out of
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: his ass as blood. You haven't seen this?
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: No bro.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: God, what a sheltered life you've had that.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's, what is that?
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: You know, that used to be Rogan. That used to
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: be what his, his thing was all those videos before
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: he got into like, being smart and learning and learning.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Like he was just like, you guys see this guy
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: get fucked by a horse.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Yo, Mr. Hands.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: That video.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: That was on Seattle, right?
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: I mean, that sounds like a Pacific Northwest thing.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: That sounds like it.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Geographically, I believe the Northwest would be the best spot.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: Against the fence, right?
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Against the fence.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: I saw that one.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Dude, Dot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: The beast touched his heart. Why in the fuck would
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: you do that?
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: You're just horny.
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: Like the ultimate.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: No, it can't be horny.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: Dog, it's got to be a sense of, is that
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: the horse?
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Dude, I've been horny. It was Seattle, yeah?
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: It was Seattle? Yeah, it was Seattle.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Look at that horse.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: How did you guys know it was Seattle?
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: Look how happy that horse looks too in that photo.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: That horse looks way too content with what it's done
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: to another man. That is wild. One last thing on
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: the dying thing. Peak dying.
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Those guys on the United 93 flight.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when they call their wives and they say, hey,
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: we're going to have to do some things.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: I love you.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: And then their last quote is, let's roll, boys. And
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: they go and take it down. They put the plane down.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: That is the most honorable way to go.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: Those guys.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Shout out to them. Let's give a round of applause
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: for those gentlemen right there.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, a way to go out to a movie that
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: perfectly describes the way I want to go out is
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: The Grey with Liam Neeson.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: With the wolves?
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, where their plane crashes and then they have to
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: survive because there's a pack of wolves kind of hunting them.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: And then he just goes one-on-one just wrapping broken glass
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: around his fist. With a little poem going out.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Jack showed me that ending scene where he breaks it
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: and he tapes it to him. And just the scene
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: of the wolf's face gives you goosebumps.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: I can't have the recipe of cowardice involved in my
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: death because I will go to cowardice first.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: See, I worry about that too. It's like, would you
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: run back in the building?
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Here's, here's what, I'll tell you what happened one time.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: You went for family. You went for family.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: One time. No, no, no. We, we went on a
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: safari and, uh, and it was travel channel. So I
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: was with a bunch of people and like, uh, you know,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: film crew and everything. And we got like within 20
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: feet from a lion and it was just laying under
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: a tree. It was just laying there and the lion
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: popped up and like looked at us and it, I mean,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: everyone's assholes clinched. And in that moment, I thought to myself,
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: I just need to push the girl in front of
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: the lion. And I was like, and I had a
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: knife on me. And I was like, and they're like, oh,
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: you're going to use that knife to fight the lion?
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: And I was like, no, I was going to stab
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: the girl. Dehabilitate her. And then the lion, because you
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: know she's got to run faster than the slowest person.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: And so I can't have cowardice. I'm afraid I'd go
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: to cowardice.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the fight or flight.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Like when you say those guys in 9-11... I would
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: hate to be in that moment because I might be
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: the guy going, guys, guys, guys, just let them fly
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: us where they want to fly us. You know? You
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: don't want to be that guy.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: No. Hey, guys.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: Listen, listen. You guys are being racist, okay? Just because
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: they're brown and they all have box cutters doesn't mean...
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Why do I do like a whiter voice?
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: You're white. You can just do your regular voice. You
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: can just do my voice.
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: You can just do exactly who you are.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Hey, fellas. Fellas. Yeah.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: You'd be sitting in first class being, you guys just
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: relax for a second. I'm trying to get some sleep here.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: Double jack... With rocks.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: I don't want to have no plane crash. No plane crash.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: I got last, yesterday I got on the plane and
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: it was early and I was, I wanted to drink.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: And usually, uh, sorry, that thing I said with, uh,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Glenny Balls about drinking, double jacket rocks, lots of rocks.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: And I heard the two pilots go, fucking the machine
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: is in 2A. And I went, whoo, we'll be drinking today, boys.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: And they came back, the flight attendants were like, we're
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: so excited to have you. Do you mind when we land,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: if we get a picture? And I was like, absolutely. Absolutely.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: And like, can we get you anything? And I just
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: winked and he went, I got you. No way.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: Double jack on the rocks.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Lots of rocks.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: Double jack on the rocks.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: I didn't even finish it. I fell asleep before I
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: could even finish it.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Is that the, like the epitome of my, like I've
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: made it?
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: That's it?
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: When you're sitting in first class and the flight attendant
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: knows exactly what your drink is?
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Knows exactly what my drink is.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: Has there been another moment that's topped that one?
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, I've had so many moments. I'm kidding. I've had,
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: my life is insane. I never, it was never supposed
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: to be like this. It really wasn't. And I'm like, uh, every,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: I got a fucking FaceTime from Baker the other day.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: He was in the pool. What's up? I didn't know
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: you were in Tampa. I was like, ah, fuck.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Like that.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: I know like he's younger than me and I know,
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: and I understand you're supposed to be quarterback.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: But, but still it's like a football player knows where
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I am. Yeah. Like that's like, I, I'm always like that,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: but I, I'm very, um. I'm still very much Burt
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: in like every sense, like everything. I really get starstruck.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: I really, like I, lose my shit over celebrities all
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: the time I did it with Chris Robinson from the
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: fucking Black Rose made a fool of myself I make
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: fools I make a fool of myself all the time
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: so yeah.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Have you ever tried to rewrite that in your head
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: like maybe I shouldn't maybe I am now the celebrity
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: that people get excited about.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: No I can't I don't I don't know how to
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: do it I don't know I don't know how to
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: shut my fucking mouth like you I'll tell you how
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: much money I make like I'm like I'm just like
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: I'm a fool like I I watch Rogan and Tom
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: just sit there and not talk to people and be cool.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: And I just fucking jabber jaw. I'm like, yeah, I can't.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: You got to be cool with who the fuck you are,
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: I guess.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: That's what makes you and Tom such a great pair.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: The yin and yang of the both of you.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It is beautiful.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: And one thing, you guys, you were on Two Bears
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: with them. And there was a lot of talk about
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: Ryan Holiday and the views of everything. Have you changed
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: your opinion about.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: Have you, have you dove into any, any stoicism or
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: is it still kind of like, I don't know.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: I get, I'm just, I'm all, I'm always anti what
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: everyone thinks is good. Right. Like I always go like,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: is it though?
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Like, I don't know. It's always been my thing.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: You're anti when somebody says, Hey, this could be good
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: for you. You're like, no, that's gay. Yeah.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: I have a really hot take about alcoholism that is
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: not popular online right now. We'll go ahead. I just, no,
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to get into it again. It made
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: sense when I was talking to two black guys about it.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: Great start. Yeah. We were like, we were like, maybe
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: you're the problem. Maybe it's not alcohol. Maybe it's you.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Like we're all partying hard. We don't drink and drive.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: We don't hit our wives. We don't, Like, we like
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: to have a good time. Maybe it's you. Maybe you're
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: the fucking problem. But alcoholics don't like hearing that.
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's his bad take. That's a tough take.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: It's a tough take.
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: It's a tough one for the internet.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: But it made sense when we were fucking lit.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Watching the sunset. Yeah, hammered. Being like, you know what?
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: This isn't bad at all.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: For people to think that it's bad, they're wrong.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Dude, because alcoholics only have one answer. It's, you have
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: to quit drinking. I go, no, no. You have to
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: quit drinking. I'm doing absolutely. I had an alcoholic tell me,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: I wish I could say his name. He goes, do
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: you think? you think, and by the way, I was
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: with the smartest people in the world at this party,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: the smartest individuals in the world, legit. And he was like,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: you think cause you are successful and, and you make
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: a lot of money and you do like arena tour
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: and you're happily married. You got a good relationship with
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: the kids that you don't have a drinking problem. And
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, that's it. Yeah. Like you just
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: hit it. Yeah. That's it.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: And he was like, no, you got a problem. I
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: was like, no, you got a problem. I'm fucking killing it.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: And then, In front of a room full of geniuses
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: proceeded to say, I don't believe in alcoholism. But I
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: also don't believe in death. I don't believe in a
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: lot of stuff.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: Let's unpack the only other thing you said.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: You don't believe in dying?
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: It hadn't happened to me.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: What's the take on not believing in death?
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I think it happens to other people,
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: but just not me.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: Oh, you think you're invincible?
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: I kind of. Because it hasn't happened.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: Go play some football. You'll find out real quick.
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: You'll find out real quick how invincible you are.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: I'm an Oklahoma Drew.
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: Have another man put his hands on you and control
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: where you go.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: That's when you know that you are not invincible.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: I don't believe. Well, I just like, it's like you
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: ever go to a funeral and then you're like, yeah,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I got another one, but not me. Just dodged it again.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: It seems like it's always happening to other people.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: It does. You don't believe it until it happens.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Until it happens.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: Then you can't believe it.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Then I'll be like, well, fuck. I guess I was
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: wrong about that.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Got me.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: Shit.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're great, son. I was wrong.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: Guess they were right. Yeah.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: It looks like it does exist.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: It looks like it does exist.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: Well, all right. Well, we've jumped into a lot of
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: different categories. What's your take on religion?
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: Uh, I, I, I love, I would love to be religious. Yeah.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: You know, you guys, yeah. My plan is to move
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: to Nashville and find you're moving here. Yeah. You know,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: that's why we're here. We're looking at houses.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: And I texted your wife and I told her that
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: the house next door to me is for sale.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: You guys fucked her up. She came to fucking beer
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Olympics and got in the car that day and said,
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: we are moving to Nashville. And I went, what? She said,
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: this is, these are real people. This is, I miss
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: the South. Um, We're coming back and we're looking at houses.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: And so you guys hit me up about doing this.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: And she was like, let's do it. And then we're
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: going to look at houses today. Oh, let's go, bro.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: Lance here.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Lance here.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Why isn't she here on the bus?
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Because I don't want to fucking deal with her. Dude,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I'm fucking... I'm with her 100% of the time. We
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: have no kids anymore. The kids are at school. It's
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: me and her up our fucking asses. I mean, if
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: I had known I was going to spend this much
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: time with someone, I would have married a dude.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Happily married. Happily married, as you said before.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Happily married. I'm just... It's like you just... Man, when
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: you don't have kids... You spend all your time with
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: that person. You fuck them. You eat with them. You
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: sleep with them. You shower with them. You do everything, everything, everything, everything.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: And then I'm sitting next to her on a fucking plane.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: And we're just, we're up each other's asses. If you
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: said this to her, she would say the same thing.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: She will laugh at times and go, I can't believe
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: I'm still looking at you. Like we just are with
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: each other nonstop. It's crazy.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: How long have you guys been married?
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: 20 years, 20 years. Nice, bro.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: And by the way, you did save beer Olympics.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah. The beer games. She.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: And thank you for that.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: No, I didn't. I didn't.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: The boys were taking bullets out there. And you making
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: your video.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: I remember that.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Like, I'm going to make it happen. It fired us up.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: We were so fired up.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: It's still. It's like Fight Club. It's so needed. I
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: love it. I love it so much. I have that energy.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: And Leanne saw the energy. The energy is like. I mean,
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: she still is like. She's obsessed with Michael Chandler. She's
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: never seen him fight. She doesn't know what he does. Right.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: She's got a little guy. I love that little guy.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: Don't say that out loud.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: Don't say that little guy out loud.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: He is, he is. She fucking, she follows these two
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: girls online. Look at how much higher their tits are
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: than her.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: She crushed it.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: I mean, she was obliterated, but.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: It's her, it's her feather in her cap is that
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: she hung she hung with the boys.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: She killed three beer. She, I drank the three beers
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: out of the boat. I did. It took me a
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: little bit, but I got it.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So yeah.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: So we're down here looking at houses, but when it
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: comes to religion, I think I would love, I would
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: love to believe and be, Just, and then look at
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: you cause you don't and go, I guess you're going
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: to hell. That would be so cool. You had to
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: believe it. You got to believe it. Right. You got
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: to believe it. And I would love that, but I just,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I'm too, uh, I'm too skeptical. Like I just, I
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: started researching about Islam and Hinduism. So I'm looking for something.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: Uh, Catholicism is my thing. And I, I don't know.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: It tweets, it tweaks my, uh, OCD too much. So
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: I get like into, I, I, I work all the
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Jesus pieces, but yeah. Kanye. Hinduism sounds like the coolest
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: one so far.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: What about Hinduism is like, okay, I can get down
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: with this.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Karma makes total sense. Yeah. Karma is like a big deal.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: And the fact that you come back, life is energy
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: and you come back in reincarnation.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: I think that's cool.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: Like we've had lives before this life.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you what, man. Islam is for me, I
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: think if they could just get rid of the pork
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: and booze, I'd be cool with Islam. Yeah. Yeah. Like
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: I love the idea that you got to take a
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: trip to Mecca. Everyone, one time, you got to go
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: to Mecca. I love that, that that's in the religion.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: That's so cool. That, yo, it's like fucking bachelor party.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: You got to check this box. Yeah, you got to
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: fucking go. You got to go to Mecca.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: You know, that's what's cool things about Muslims is that
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: usually if they run into other Muslims, they treat them
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: with a lot of love because they assume they're going
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: to Mecca. Really? Yeah, I thought that was cool. You
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: pray five times a day. I just did all the
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: research on these. I was looking for religion the other day.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: The rules part is really hard.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: Like praying five times a day for me. I just
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: feel like I'm not good with time management. That would
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: make it very difficult for me.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: Can't fit this in. Can't fit this in. Yeah.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: Like in the morning, I got a routine down. Let
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: me get the cold tub. Then do I pray or
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: do I pray before?
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Like what's the deal? No, you hung out with other Muslims.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: You all do it together. It's like a sin. The community.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: It's like a sin.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Or a Lucy on this podcast.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: A Lucy. A Lucy.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: A Lucy. A Lucy. The community aspect. Yeah.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: It's so cool.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Seems like the Jewish people have the community thing down
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: in a big way.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: We live in a really big Jewish neighborhood. And the
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: other day was like. Is there a new year?
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: And they were all walking on the streets. And I
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: was just like, it seems cool as fuck. It seems
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: cool to be religious. Like, I don't know why. I
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: don't know how it got to be not believing in
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: God was the cool thing. Because it just seems like
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: you got a community. Like I would love, I would love,
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: I would love, you know what we should do? I
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: want to go see Joel Osteen.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: Who's that?
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: He's like the mega preacher.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: You would know if you saw him.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Would I? Yeah.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: Is this like a Righteous Gemstone type of guy?
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. Like a famous type speaker. Like does, has
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: all the, he'd be somebody that was like on TV
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: when you were young.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: On Sundays.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah. He's, looks like Martin Short in that.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: I still, have you seen that picture i have no
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: clue who.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: That is he's his net worth is through the roof
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: he does like mega churches dude that was the rub
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: when we started comedy there's a guy telling you like
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: yo if you work clean you can do churches i
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: never wanted to do that shit there's a guy john
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: chris that did that oh yeah he lives in nashville
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: dude he would do like a fucking sunday six o'clock
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: show in a mega church in a mega church it's
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: like size they're like arenas yeah and just clean up
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: he made so much fucking money he's a great guy
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: He got canceled. Did you hear this story? This is wild.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: I apologize, John, if I'm perpetuating something. I love you.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: You know that.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Friend of the show.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: He got soft canceled. I'll say soft canceled because, I mean,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: when you hear this, you're gonna go huh because he
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: took a girl rollerblading and he tried to kiss her.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: That he got canceled for that.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: But in their community if you say that you're like
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: a christian and i think he had like vodka and
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: a water bottle or something yeah it's like it really
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: is like not that bad number one high school move Yeah. And,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: and he got, when you're in it, you gotta be
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: in it. When you're, when you say you're Christian, you
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: can't fuck around. That's the thing. That's the hard part
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: is like, that is a hard part that I could
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: do the Christian, like, uh, believe in it. And, but I,
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: I'm going to fuck up. I'm going to fuck up. Yeah.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: That's my, that's the hard thing. Like with, with football
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: for me, I always thought it was better to have
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: your public perspective.
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: Whoa.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: Perception. How good is that?
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: There's no alcohol in this, right?
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: Oh, there's 5%. Oh fuck. I'm sober.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: No, I'm kidding.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: But the public perception for me of having people think
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: less of you, I always thought was a bigger win
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: than trying to be this like all American kid. And
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: then one or two things happen and they're like, oh,
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: you're a piece of shit. I'd rather people think, oh,
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: this guy's a piece of shit. And then when you
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: meet me or whoever the person is, it's like, oh,
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: they're actually- you, you, you are just come up way
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: better to them. And I just think that's a bigger win.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: You are explaining my business model to a T. Okay.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: So I go to, I go to college. So I
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: played baseball in high school and get recruited to play
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Duke Citadel. Going to walk on a Florida state. I
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: go to walk on.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: He's having a great football season, by the way, for
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: the Florida state. You guys are killing it right now.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: You're looking at it. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you a secret. Um,
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: So I go to walk on at Florida State. I
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: literally do the first practice and walk off the field.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: I'm like, sports are no longer for me. I gave
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: up baseball. But I remember going to my fraternity. I
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: was in a fraternity and they were doing intramurals and
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: they were like football. And everyone's like, dude, I'm a dog.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: And you're like, really? And they're like, fucking, dude, get
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: me on the field. Get me on the field. And
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: so I got intimidated. That's young Bert. God, Obi was fat.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: And so, um, so, and by the way, that guy
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: on the left, Scott O'Brien, fucking amazing baseball player.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: Really? Yeah. Yeah. He can sling it?
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Dude. He, well, he ended up walking on at Florida state.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: He had a full ride to Alabama too.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: Oh wow.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: No way. So, um, so he's a great actor now too.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Interesting dude. He's a very interesting dude. But, uh, so
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: I didn't go out for football intramurals cause everyone was
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: so good. And then I watched them play and I
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, they suck. Everyone talks shit. And I
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: was like, cause I'm, The way I played sports was
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: you didn't talk shit unless you didn't talk shit. You
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: just didn't talk shit. You just played the sport. And
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: then that talked the shit for you.
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: So then intramural softball comes up and everyone's like, I'm
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: a fucking dog. And I was like, okay, I'm going
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: to go out. I'm not going to tell anyone I
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: can play. I'm going to go out and play. And
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: I'm just not going to say anything. I remember catching
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: fly balls in the outfield behind my back. And everyone's like,
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: what the fuck are you doing? And then you go
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: and I hit fucking bombs. And they're like, dude, you
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: didn't tell us you could play. So I looked at
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: that from that day forward as I was like, I
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: will never talk shit about, like, I'm going to always
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: undersell my performance and over deliver. So with standup, I always, I'm, dude,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: I've said this and I mean it now. I think
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: I've said it so much. I mean it. The only
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: reason people think I'm a great standup is I hang
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: out with the best standups in the world. I mean,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: look at that. You surround yourself with great white sharks.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: You're good in the storytelling realm too.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the storytelling is incredible.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: You're not giving yourself enough credit there.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: No, I know.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: But that's the game plan.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: That's the business plan.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: You basically just did it for him.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: I like that. I'd rather people go like, yeah, he
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: takes his shirt off, whatever. And then they go, wow,
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: he's a really good storyteller. People are going to be like, oh,
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: this is way better than I thought. Yeah, because I
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: look at, I mean, when I got into standup, I
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: remember going to the Boston Comedy Club. And dudes walk
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: off stage and like, I just ripped that room. And
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: you're like, did you? And I remember also thinking, so
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: that's your version of the best you got. I was like,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: all right. And so I just never, I never really
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: talked shit about standup. Now look, when we talk about
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: fucking sports or anything, now I talk wild shit. Like
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: fucking ran the LA marathon with no training at all.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Told you I'd fucking bench press more than you. I mean,
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. Like that's fun. And
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: if you're, and if you don't get it, it's like,
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: that's the point of comedy is just to fuck around.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: But, uh, But yeah, I've always, that underperform, undersell, overperform,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: that's always been my thing.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: Two Bears 5K.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Two Bears 5K. So nice you did it twice.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: You ran it a couple times.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: I ran it twice. Tommy's like, he fucking trained for it.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: And he had his coach pacing him. He had headsets in.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: He didn't talk to anybody.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: And he still sucked.
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: He ran in 34 minutes.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: He was like, I'm trying to break 30 minutes. I
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: was like, dude, fucking.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: There's like people in the Paralympics that break fucking 30 minutes.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: What the fuck are you doing? He was so serious
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: about this fucking race. I got hit by a golf cart.
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what happened there?
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: That's a great question, Pete.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Wait, did Pete hit you?
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: Pete. He stopped in front of the cart. I love
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: that Pete, I love that Pete cannot just, you.
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: Weren't trying to stop anything.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: You stopped right in front of the cart. I didn't
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: even stop. I was just walking.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: He said, there's nothing I could do about it. You
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: stopped right in front of the cart. That is fucking,
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: imagine if you just broke your leg.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: Oh, I, I, you saw the lunge.
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: He was trying to get out of it.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Well, it's crazy.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: Fucking brutal.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: I came out of my shoes. I came out of
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: my shoes.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: Shout out Dan cook.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: Dude.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: He's had a great bit about that back in the day.
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: That was, uh, yeah.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: The shoes, the shoes coming off, seeing a man get
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: hit by a car.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. God, man. People don't remember how great, I mean,
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Dane's still a very talented standup comedian, but when he
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: did it at that moment, you know, there was nothing
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: like it. There was nothing like it. You remember people
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: used to bomb on stage. Dane never bombed. He murdered
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: in the worst scenario you could imagine. Dane Cook would
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: fucking destroy.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: He went on that run. I mean, Vicious Circle, he
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: had those three... His three stand-ups, his three specials were incredible.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: But then he was doing movies, he was doing all
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: that stuff. That's what's so fascinating to me. I feel
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: like I bring it up every time a comedian is
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: on our bus. It's like, what happened to Dan?
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: Because we did with Adam.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we did with Adam, who came out last week now,
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: for people that are listening to this episode. But it
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: just seems like he's got this, like, people... are not
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: a fan of him in the comedic world. Like people
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: say he stole jokes and all these other things.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: I'm always trying to figure out what happened to Dane Cook.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: Because I personally was a massive fan of him.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we all were. I think, here's the one thing
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: I'll think that, and this is maybe just a stupid thought,
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: but he got famous by himself. Like we all got
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: famous together. Like this generation of comics, we all got
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: famous at the same time. Like me, Tommy, Joe, Ari,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: Shane Gillett. And so we kind of had people to
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: bounce things off of. It was just Dane. I mean,
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: it was just Dane. There was not another comic. There
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: was not one comic at Dane's level. It's like, can
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: you imagine getting rich by yourself? And going like, I
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: don't know, how do I get watches? What kind of
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: car do I want?
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone's got a guy for something.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. It's like when you're on a football team
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: and everyone's making money. You're like, yo, how did you? Oh,
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I got a guy that he'll take care of that.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: And you know, so like we all got wealthy together,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: like all of our friends. So like, I mean, I
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: don't want to get into the weeds on stuff, but like,
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm trying to, cause some people kind of
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: manipulate their persona a little bit.
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: So you don't want to blow someone's bubble, but, but
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: Dane got rich by himself. Did arenas by himself. He
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: was the only one doing arenas. Dude, when I did arenas,
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: I remember reaching out to, I remember talking to Schultz going,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: this is how you do arenas. You got to get
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: a stage. You need a sound system. Bring your own
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: sound system. It's got to feel like, I mean, we
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: got to talk to each other about it, about how
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: to do these things. Dane did it by himself. And
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: so in a weird way, and I've been the victim
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: of this, the only thing people want is to watch
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: you fail. Like they love taking shots at people on
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: the top. And I've, it's happened to me, guys that
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: were like good friends, just the second you pass them,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: they're like, fuck that guy. And you're like, I thought
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: we were, I cheered you when you succeeded. How come
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: you couldn't cheer me when I succeeded?
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: And it's crazy. It's like, you know, and so, but
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Dane did it all by himself. And so everyone just
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: wanted him to fail.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: Why do you think human nature is that way? Where
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: this is like, everybody wants to be on top and
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: the minute somebody surpasses them, they start talking shit.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: It's weird, man. I'll tell you, like, this is the
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: closest I can get to it. And it's, you'll, you'll
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: understand this. So I took Shane Gillis to on tour
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: with me a couple of times. Right. And I took
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: him to celebrity theater in, uh, in Arizona. It's in
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: the round. And, uh, he opened for me. He did
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: 10 minutes, 15 maybe. And he got a standing ovation,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: a standing ovation.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: That was the Superbowl, right?
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: No, that's before. It was another time. It was another time.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: He got a standing ovation then too. But in, in, in, in,
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: He got a standing ovation. He didn't know what to
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: do with it. He really didn't know what to do
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: with it. Like he like kind of stopped and, you know,
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: he's uncomfortable as he is, but stopped and we're all sitting.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: We're like, take it, stay out there. And then he
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: comes off stage and I was like, wow, he's, this
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: is changing for him. I got a text from him
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: or maybe one of our managers. You know, I hold,
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: I hold booze records everywhere. They were like, Shane Gillis
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: broke your booze record at the celebrity theater. And like,
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: you want your boys to succeed, but there is a
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: part of you going, hold on. Like we're not talking money.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: We're not talking like he's breaking records everywhere right now.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: That was the first one. He broke my booze record,
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: my booze. I'm the booze. And so there is a
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: thing where you've got to decide what kind of man
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: you are. Do you want your boys to blow up?
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Do you want your boys to succeed? Or do you
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: need to be the guy? You know? I don't need
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: to be the guy. I've always wanted. I've always surrounded
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: myself by the best people. I don't need to be
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: the guy. But I am watching people watch Shane and go, well,
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: I'm the guy. And you're like, nah, no more. not
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: anymore dude he just broke the record at wells fargo
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: god for most booze no no for most attendance hold
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: on hold.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: On but the boo the boosting was most booze bought
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: or how does how does one measure the booze record.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: They uh the the the places the that's how i
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: used to get on that's how i used to tour
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: was i'd break alcohol sales at all the clubs yes
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: i'm I was like, they're not going to know if
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: I'm funny or not, but what they will know is
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: if they have to fucking restock on Monday, they're going
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: to like fucking bring Bert back. And so I used
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: to do, I used to do a show called calling
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: sick to work where I'd go in, I'd do a
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: show at noon and we'd drink them out of booze
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: before their evening shows. We do. I mean, we'd, I'd
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: kill it on booze, but that's, uh, yeah, Shane's destroying
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: it right now. And you hear people talk shit and
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: you're like, Oh, that's interesting. Cause you didn't say that
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: when he was opening for you.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: Hmm.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: He didn't say that when he was younger. Now you're
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: saying it. It's, it's, I've watched it happen to a
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: lot of people. I'll tell you what, I can just
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: tell you what doesn't happen to doesn't happen to Tom.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: Doesn't have to Joe, Joe, Joe Rogan wants you to
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: be more famous than him. The second he fucking meets you.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Joe was the most selfless individual. When we, he'd put
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: us on his podcast just to get us fans. I
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: remember I had a special out. He put me on,
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: we did, uh, uh, uh, end of the world podcast
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: that night at the store. And then I did this
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: podcast first thing in the morning. That guy's wanted your
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: success since day one. He is the most selfless individual,
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: but it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that before.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: Damn. It does feel like it happened. It feels like
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: it happens in the, in the comedy realm because I
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: feel like it's more of like that individualized sport.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: If you're an individual sports and in athletics and everything else,
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: I feel like, you know, people want whoever's at the top,
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: like they want to be better than right. And people
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: cheer on you. It's like, when you're low enough and
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: they feel like your dream is also their dream, you're
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: more relatable, you come off more relatable, but the moment
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: you do get kind of like to the top or
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: surpass whatever their level of like them wanting you to
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: be in their world is, like once it gets beyond that,
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: I feel like is when the shots kind of come. Yeah.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: Because then people are, you know, they want to say
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: you forgot who you are, you're blah, blah, blah, this
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: and that.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and comedy's so opinion-based too. Like it's some comics
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: who are on top of the world people don't think
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: are funny because it's just not their humor. So I'm
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: sure when some comics go above others, those comics are like, well,
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: you know, he's not that funny. Like why, why does
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: he be able to have so much success and not me? Yeah.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: It's, it's, it's wild too. And, and we're at a
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: stage now where it's like, you gotta realize like not
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: everyone did arenas and now everyone's doing arenas. And like,
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: so like you look at some guys that are a
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: little older and they're like, like they were like at
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: the top of their games doing theaters. Like that was,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: that's all, that was all that the opportunity offered. Now
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: it's like, I mean, kill Tony's in arenas. There are
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: kids that have been doing standup for one year and
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: that are doing stand-up in arenas. Like, it's wild where
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: comedy is right now. It's insane to me. But yeah,
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: it's like the opportunities are so different. It's like now
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: a lot of people are doing arenas.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: Do you think the people are doing arenas more because
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: of how much exposure there is to social media or
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: comedy is that much better than it used to be?
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: I think it's a perfect storm of everything. I think
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: it is social media. I do think it has to
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: do with, I think this fucking cancer culture was like
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: great for business. It's like people want to hear you
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: say the wildest shit now. I mean, there are some comics,
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I think, that there are some people that I don't
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: even think they know what comedy is. They just know
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: how to say wild shit.
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: Like, I go, wow. But I think it's a perfect
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: storm of all of that. And I think, you know,
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: I mean, look at, I mean, when you say, you
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: guys sat down with the fucking former president of the
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: United States, possibly the next current future president of the
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: United States. that's where the world is. People don't give
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: a fuck about the today show and, and the late
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: night talk shows and the, this is where it's connecting. And, and,
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: and our fans, I say our fans, cause I think
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: we probably share overlapping concentric circles, but they, they, they
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: know you, they, that they like, they like root for
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: you and they love you. And then, and then that
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: turned into comedy. It's like, I go on stage and
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: I take my shirt off and people lose their mind.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: And I go, it's like, it's insane to me.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: It's insane.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, there was a time when I took my
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: shirt off where people went, what the fuck is this?
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: You know, I mean, the first seven years of my career,
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: I take my shirt off and then be like, but it's,
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: it's just bizarre where everything is. I think, but I.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: Think people do. Uh, everybody's doing a good job to
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: have like a rising tide lifts all ships. Like you're
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: fully loaded tours essentially like that. I know when we
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: have comics on and we talk to comics who have
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: been on that thing, they talk about how much, that
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: just event in that tour kind of like puts you
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: on because again, you're in front of so many people.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: Entertaining in such a way that involves a partying together.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: Like you, you are accessible. You feel way more accessible
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: to people.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so. I mean, I've always been, I've
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: always been a firm believer in like, it's not fun
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: if you're doing it by yourself. Like I, I mean, I, the,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: my favorite memories are like taking, I was just thinking
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: of this the other day, I told you I went
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: fluffy to the sphere and I said to Leanne, I go,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: how cool would this be? be able to do, like
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: to take your, your, because Fluffy got a box for
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: us and he got us all hotel rooms and he
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: put us up and it was like fucking sick. And
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: he got a party bus for us and we're on
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: the party bus. We're laughing our asses off. And I
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: said to Leanna, I was like, dude, this would be
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: so sick if we could do something like this. And
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: she goes, you've done this every year you do Red Rocks.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: And I went, that's right. And I remember, I wish
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: I had the fucking video. Me and Shane got so
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: fucked up. Me, Shane and Mark got so fucked up
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: on this party bus. that we were singing songs without
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: the words, trying to guess the songs. So we were like,
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: like just screaming and we're crying, laughing. Do you remember
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: that Pete? We were crying, crying, laughing. And I look back,
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: I look back at like all the things I've done.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: Those are my favorite moments is, is, is like all
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: the people I've partied with all my friends and all the,
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: they're all the greatest comics in the world. They're the
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: funniest human beings. One of my favorite memories, Georgia is
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: on Fully Loaded with her friend Daisy. And Shane comes
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: up last night and he goes up to him. He goes,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: you guys sneaking beers? Georgia goes, no. He goes, come on.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: You don't have to lie to me. She's like, no.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: He's like, I'm not going to tell your dad. She's like, yeah,
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: we're sneaking beers. And Shane just sits down next to me.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: It was Georgia sneaking beers. Like these are, I mean,
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: these are like the greatest fucking memories of my life.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: And you'd think, you know, like I didn't pay that
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: much to hang out with them.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Dude, that is fucking wild to be able to
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: get all your boys and just be like, hey, we
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: all have a certain set of skills. Let's just all
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: go and do this together.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: Dude, fully loaded last year. It's me, Jelly Roll, Dave Attell,
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Big J. Oakerson, Dan Soder, Mark Norman. I mean, it's
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: the perfect smoke tent. And we're laughing hysterically. And Jelly
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: Roll just happens to be the biggest artist in the country.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: And we laughed so hard. He had just found out
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: who Mitch Hedberg was. And within finding out that he
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: is now his favorite comic, he then learns he's dead.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: And we could not stop laughing. He goes, this Mitch
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: Hedberg guy is great. And David Tell goes, I got
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: some bad news for you, buddy.
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: And we are crying laughing.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: But those are the moments where you go, life doesn't
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: get better.
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: Talk about your relationship with Jelly Roll a little bit.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: Do you guys have them on Two Bears?
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: Has he been on?
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: But I know he did the 5K with y'all. You
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: guys have done shows together and stuff like that. Where
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: did that relationship start?
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Honestly, I started following Jelly a long
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: time ago. I started following him online. I think I
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: saw him on Chelsea's show originally and found him. And
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: then we started DMing. And we just became friends over
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: through the internet. Then he came out and did my
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: podcast and we just connected immediately. There's something we have...
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: we're very similar men in that. I think we're very,
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: we feel, we feel very lucky to be in the
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: position we're in as opposed to some guys are like, uh,
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: this was, I was destined for this.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: I think both jelly and I are like, man, we
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: just feel like the luckiest dudes in the world. And
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: we just kept, we just kept in touch. And then
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: probably the biggest thing, I mean, it's like crazy. I
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: don't think much of it, but like if we were
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: in ever in the same city, we always hit up.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: He found each other. Like if, if he was on tour,
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: near me he'd come and have lunch at my where
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: we were at the arena and then like he came
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: in nashville he came out to the show i was
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: here and we've always just kept in touch and been
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: close and uh and then but the crazy thing was
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: and this is probably the best moment of our friendship
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: um he was on milk boys and he was saying
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: you know the two bears are doing a 5k i
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: think i'm gonna get in shape for it and all
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: of a sudden it fucking took off like people magazine
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: wrote us about it and it was crazy So we
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: came out to do this and then me, Bunny, Leanne,
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: and Jelly are running the 5K together and we're getting done.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: We're about past the finish line and Jelly starts crying.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get emotional. I'm not going to cry.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: Don't worry. I'm done crying.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: You can cry.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: I'm not crying. Jelly gets emotional.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: You're safe here.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: Jelly gets emotional and he goes, and he's like, I
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: think you might have just changed my life. And Bunny
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: starts crying and she's holding Leanne. The four of us
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: are like sobbing. crossing the finish line. And, uh, and
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: it's true. It's like, I mean, you guys have never
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: really like been, you know, had like health issues or
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: had gotten your life's never gotten away from you with
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: your bodies, but guys like me and jelly, I was
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: 285 the fucking time before at Beer Olympics. And Jelly's
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: had weight issues. And just that little spark of getting
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: your health back together and getting in control of it
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: and just getting into a place where you are moving
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: every day, it's so fucking big. But that moment was crazy.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: And then immediately it's like we're doing half a marathon. Really? Yeah.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: And so I was like, all right, I'm in if
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: you're in. But I love him to death, man. I'm
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: so happy for his success. He's the sweetest guy in
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: the world.
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: Dude, he really does have that.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, you don't understand. He went and did Fully
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: Loaded this year. He did the first week. I didn't
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: pay him. I didn't cover his tour bus. I didn't
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: cover his private jets. He did it on his own.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: He came and did it. And I was like, dude,
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: I got to pay you back somehow. He's like, no,
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: I just want to be with you. That's like a
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: real friend. I love him. I love him to death.
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah. He is the kindest soul.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: He really is.
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: And you just know, like, life, like, I think to myself, like, man,
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: what was he like, like, when he was in prison
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: and was wrapped up in the wrong stuff to where
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: he has such a perspective now and he's able to
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: talk to absolutely everybody and have this perspective that you just,
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: you want to do nothing but root for him. Yeah.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the level of purity is second to none, especially...
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: When he tells stories about watching the Music City Miracle
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: from Juvenile Detention Center.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: And knowing that he's done things wrong, and yet he's
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: still this pure. How does somebody go through that much
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: adversity in life, get to the other side of this
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: level of fame and fortune, and have the ability to
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: still be as sweet as he possibly is, not be jaded,
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: not have... you know, a chip on his shoulder about anything.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: He just wants to do the best he can with
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: what he has and it just continues to be better
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: and better. That's him meeting with the Titans. He spoke
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: to Congress about fentanyl.
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: Issues, which is- And eloquently too. Yeah, beautifully. I was like, wow.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: And he's like, I used to sell drugs and now
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: I'm sitting here saying, well, there is a problem with
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: drugs in this country.
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: He's also someone, you know, when we talk about like
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: people root for your downfall and I assume it's a
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: natural thing. I mean, I feel like, you know, I
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: feel like you know, when you, people hate me, I go, okay.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: I think it's just normal, I guess. But then it
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: really means a lot when people don't, when people were
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: like root for your success and like still love you,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: it means a lot. And like, and like jelly came out,
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: I did Bridgestone and he came out to like, like,
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: like be there for me and like, like celebrate it
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: with me. And I did, I think I brought him
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: on stage. I think we sang a song at Bridgestone.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: And then the next time I'm in Nashville, he's like,
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: Hey man, would you bring me on stage tonight? And
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, yeah, sure. I was like,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: you know what? I think I have a thing. I
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: have a show. I wish I could. Where are you performing?
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: And he's like, Titan Stadium. I went, I could cancel.
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: I would have canceled. What the fuck? You mean 75,000 people?
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: Are you shitting me? But he's just very regular. I mean,
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: he's just so, and he really wants you to win.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: He wants you to succeed. I love him to death.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: And bringing along the people that before he reached his
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: level of fame, like bringing them to it and being like, hey,
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: I'm doing this. I would love for you guys to
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: be there type of mentality is just awesome.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: What's crazy is like Leanne and Bonnie are really close.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: They text all the time. And I do not know
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: how that relationship happened. Because they're very different women. They
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: really are different women. But man, they're like fucking sisters.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: They text. And he's part of the reason, because we're
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: looking at properties and Jelly just goes, hey, why don't
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: I just give you 100 of my acres or whatever?
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: You guys can live on our land. And Leanne's like,
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: I can live with Bunny. And I was like, hang on, wait.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: What fucking world are we living in?
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: He did buy a crazy piece of land.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: He bought crazy.
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: He's like, I got a good place up on a mountain.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: And I was like, so yeah, we're looking at everything today.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: But I love him to death, man. I love watching
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: people succeed. It's funny shit to watch people succeed.
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: It's fun.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: Shane's the easiest one for me to put, because we
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: all were there for it, right? We all watched it.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: But I remember being at, one of my favorite things
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: in the world to do is bully Shane. I love
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: bullying Shane. I love texting him and saying, hey man,
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: you want to meet up for a drink this morning?
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: And he goes, no. And then I always write back,
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: this is my favorite part. The unrelenting... Until I get
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: him to break his spirit to break. It's so fucking fun.
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: It's so fun to watch him crumble. Oh, so I
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: text him one time and I go, yo, I'm at
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: Rogan's club at noon partying. You meet me there. And
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: he's like, no, I was like, cool. Do you want
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: me to send a car to get to you? And
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: he's like, I'm not going. I go, Hey man, I'm just,
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: I want to get, make sure I have the right
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: drink for you. Like you still drink a Bud Light.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: And he's like, Bert, I'm not coming. And I go, Oh, Leanne,
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: can't wait to see you. I'm so excited you're coming.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: And then he's like, fuck, I'm on my way. So he.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: Just eventually breaks.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: He comes over and it's like, things are happening for Shane,
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: but you know, it's like, we know it, but he
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: comes and he goes, hey man, can I tell you
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: a secret? And I was like, yeah. So we go
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: away from everyone, go back to a bar. And he's like,
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: I just got offered SNL. And I was like, dude,
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: that moment for me, like, I love that shit. I...
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: I started crying and he was like, stop fucking crying, bitch.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: Come on. And he was like, and he got excited.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: But like watching your boys blow up, it's fucking awesome.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: I just texted, I just texted Matt McCusker. Matt McCusker
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: did two nights in Boston at Wilbur. I texted him.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: I was like, dude, congratulations. This is fucking awesome. That
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: is fun.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: More people should enjoy watching people succeed because it's fun
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: as fuck. And it's, he did two nights at fucking
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: the Wilbur. Do you know how hard that is to sell?
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: He's funny too. I love how he like promos. Dude,
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: he is fucking hysterical. I love how he promos where
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: he's at, like on Instagram. Like he'll like play the piano.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: He's, I saw a video, the one video that sticks
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: with me. He was holding his child, reading a book.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: I was like, you're reading a book? Words are that
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: interesting to you that you could, like he was like
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: holding his child, reading like, I was like, what the fuck?
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: I've never read a book like, yeah, look, he's reading
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: a book. He's reading us. He's in it too.
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: He's focused. He's reading.
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: That's so fucking weird.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: Like that, I've never, not in a million years have
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: I ever read like that where I was like taking
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: care of my child and reading.
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, just reading in general. Sitting down and
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: being like, I'll make the decision to read is a
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: very difficult thing to do. Something we should all do.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: But a very difficult thing to just go and do
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: and put a child on your lap.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: It's a whole different ballgame. He's awesome, man. But yeah,
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: like watching your friends pop. Like Adam Ray, man. I
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: hit up Adam when we were in... Bro, he was
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: so fun on the pod, too. He's amazing.
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: He's so fun.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: But the thing is, it's almost like you get proven right.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: Cause you get behind these guys like Adam Ray. I
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: hit him up. I was like, yo, you're from Seattle.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: I'm doing the arena in Seattle. Would you like to
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: come and do it and bring your family out or whatever?
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: And he's like, dude, that would be, I was like, cool.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: And then I get excited. I go, I'm going to
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: make it about Adam this weekend. So I got us
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: out to go meet coach Carol and go hang out
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: with the Seahawks.
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah. He was talking about that.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And he was like, this is fucking, I did
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: it for Shane. When we went and did the first
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: fully loaded, he, we, I said, uh, first, our first
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: show was at, uh, Notre Dame. And I said, I got,
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: we're going to go into the practice field. We're going
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: to go see the stadium. We're going to do everything.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: And Shane's like, I love doing that. I fucking love
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: that more than anything. But Adam is fucking hysterical and
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: he's smart and he's funny and he's quick and he's
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: really just a brilliant comic. So then to watch him
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: blow up in a weird way, it's like, yeah, I
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: knew it. I knew it. I fucking knew it. Like, Dude,
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: I said it to Stobby the other day. I go,
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: if anything, I'm good at two things. Introducing people and
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: picking out talent. Like, I am really good at picking
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: out talent. Like, I can tell you who the next
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: guy is going to be always, always, I think.
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: Who's the next guy?
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: I think it's going to be me again.
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: Dude, Stobby is fucking hilarious, bro.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: He's got a new movie called Let's Start a Cult,
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: and it is fucking hysterical. It is... Fucking hysterical.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: Is that out now?
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: It's out in theaters October 25th. Okay. And we went
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: to the screening and we were crying. It is all Stobby.
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: He carries the whole fucking movie. The other people in
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: it are just as fucking funny, but it is... if
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: you like Stavi's sense of humor, he wrote the movie.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: Within the first fucking minute of the movie, someone's playing
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: with his nuts. I mean, it's fucking hysterical. Dude, that is.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: Crazy to me, the level of talent that people have
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: of just writing and being able to see their vision
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: and just put it, whether it's.
• 48:14
  Speaker 3: In a movie or on a stage or anything.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: Like that, that shit is incredible. How much, obviously, you're
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: the whole machine, movie, you play yourself, but like, Like,
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: did you write that script? Cause you obviously wrote the
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: OG one when you, you actually robbed a train station
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: or a train.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: I was with Juvenile. You remember Juvenile? Uh, the rapper?
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: I was with Juvenile and Manny Fresh the other day.
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: And I was telling him about the Russian mafia and
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: Juvi's like, I got to hear this story. I was like, buddy,
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: no one wants to hear it, but you. You're the
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: only one. Um, no, I, I was very, uh, I
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: was very hands-on in the, um, in in writing the
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: script i would take i mean the very first day
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: of writing i rewrote the entire opening scene and so
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: i rewrote a lot of it um yeah i was
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: very hands-on it's also it's a little tricky because i
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: when we got in there i didn't really have to
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: memorize anything so i was also so a part of
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: writing it and then uh but i would rewrite scenes
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: and then bring them in and then mark hamill would
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: lose his fucking.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: Mind why would he lose his mind?
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: Because you're not supposed to just rewrite a scene and
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: then bring it in that day and go, all right, guys,
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: new sides. Everyone, let's all get up to speed.
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: He would get pissed off.
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: He was like, I was up all night learning this
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: fucking scene for our job today. He goes, you can't
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: rewrite shit. And I was like, oh, sorry.
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess it's happening anyway.
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: What was it like working with Jimmy Tatro?
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: I fucking love that dude.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: Dude, he's the man.
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: He's awesome, isn't he?
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: I fucking love him. He makes me laugh. So there's
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: a couple people in this world that, see me the
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: way my sisters see me. Like I'm ridiculous. I am ridiculous.
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: But certain people just, I don't know, Jimmy Tatro and
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: Nate Bargatze are two people who see me the way
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: my sisters see me. And Jimmy is, he made me
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: laugh so fucking much. He's just, I'm just a ridiculous person.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: And he told me a secret. He goes, hey, can
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: I tell you a secret? And I was like, yeah.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: I go, I'm not good with secrets. He goes, well,
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: I got to tell you this. He tells me a secret.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: And then I picked up my phone and I called
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: someone and told them his secret in front of him.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: And he goes, what are you doing? I said, what?
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: He goes, I just told you not to tell anyone.
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: And I was like, no, I know, but I'm telling kale.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: And he goes, no, that was a whole idea of
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: me telling you. But like, and I, I just, uh, he, he,
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: he made that guy. He, he gets me him and
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: Nate Bargatze for whatever reason, if they ever meet each other,
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: they will get along so well. But yeah, Jimmy, uh,
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: I fucking love him like a brother.
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: Nate crushed it on SNL.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: Dude. Murdered.
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: Crushed it on SNL.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: Nate's, man, Nate's funny in a way that like, I
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: don't know, it's so effortless.
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: I think Nate's one of the funniest human beings alive.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: He is fucking funny, man. That George Washington skit was hilarious.
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: God. Hilarious. His tone, his timing, he is, he's really funny.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: I was at the Ryman last night and me and
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Nate and Ari Shafir were at the Ryman probably 10
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: years ago. We were watching Angela Johnson perform. None of
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: us were selling any tickets anywhere. And Nate was like,
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: one day that'll be us. And I was like, no
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: fucking way. And he was like, no, we'll all get here.
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: And Nate's like, I'll get here. And I was like,
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: I'll never get here. And I remember saying out loud,
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: I was like, because Angela Johnson has the nail salon.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: I said, give me one nail salon bit. I'll tell
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: it for the rest of my fucking life if it'll
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: get me on that stage. And then that was the machine.
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: And the machine happened.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: Were you.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: surprised at how much the fans loved your movie or
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: where did you know it was going to be awesome?
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: No, I thought, um, I'll tell you, no, I, I,
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: I knew it was a good movie. I knew it
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: wasn't going to be what people expected. I knew it
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: was an action movie and it was like fun. It
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: was fast paced. I knew all that. I knew people
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: would like it. I didn't know it was going to
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: do as well as it did on Netflix. What I
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: was not prepared for was any sort of negative stuff.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: I just, The critics tore it apart.
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. They hated it. And I... How.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: Did no one sit you down and be like, hey,
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: there might be a situation where people don't like the movie.
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: They're going to say negative things.
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: I was so blindsided by that. I was so blindsided.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: I was like, well, yeah, I made a movie. I'm
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: not supposed to make movies. Just like, what wouldn't you
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: like about it? And they're like, it. bombed in the
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: box office and i was like well yeah everything's bombing
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: like i literally i was so oblivious that tommy said
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: to me he's like how how you uh doing with
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: the release of the movie i was like great he's
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: like really i was like fucking amazing he's like i.
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: Was like check out there's a reddit page yeah but
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: there's all this.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: I was like why would they say that he was
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: like You put out a movie, man. People aren't going
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: to like it. And I was like, hold on. Wait,
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: because no one ever says shit about your specials. Your
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: specials just either just do well. I remember, dude, this
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: is how oblivious I am to things. I remember, I
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: won't say his name, but there was a comic. I'll
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: say his name, just edit it out. He put out,
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: don't pull up the Rotten Tomatoes now. Get me another
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: fucking Twisted Tee if you got that up on the thing.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: So he had put out a trailer for his special,
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: and it was getting slammed. in the comments. And I
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: remember going, I remember I was traumatized by it. I
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This can happen.
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: I was like, what do you mean? Why would people
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: not like your standup? Like, just don't watch it. It's
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: not for you. I, I was so caught off guard.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: Cause like negativity wasn't like, I just, you never saw negativity.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: Like you just didn't. It's like you did a podcast
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: and like, yeah, you got backlash if you said something bad,
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: but like everyone was always on your side. When that
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: movie came out, man, people fucking, there were people that
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: hated me. And I was like, How are they.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: Going to hate you for it, though? I don't understand
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: hating you.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: Not liking the movie is one thing.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: I think a lot.
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: What were they hating about it?
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: Just me, I think. I don't know. I think the
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: fact that I was like, I think that I, probably
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: the promotion of it, I don't know. I was so oblivious.
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: I had such blinders on in that whole period of
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: my life that I was just moving as fast as
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: I could forward in everything. Like, in this time, I
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: had a special come out. I had this come out.
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: I had a European tour. I had an Australian tour.
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: I had so much going on that I just was like,
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Everything was in front of me. It's
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: like driving in New York. I just looked in front
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: of me. I never looked behind me.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: And then when this came out and Razzle Dazzle did well,
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: I had an arena tour. Like, I had all this
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: shit going on. That was the first time I'd... I mean,
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: I was oblivious to it, too. I remember having breakfast
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: with Christy Mack and her boyfriend. Mm-hmm. In Beverly Hills.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: In a beautiful hotel. Getting drunk that morning. Being. Smoking
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: a cigar in my car. Being like. Fucking. The world's
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: my oyster.
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: And then. I saw Tommy in Austin. I was still
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: on cloud nine. And he was like. He's like. How
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: you doing? I said. Great. He's like. How's the movie?
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: I said. Fine. Awesome. It's great. He's like. You sure?
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: I was like.
• 55:06
  Speaker 3: What? He's like.
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: Some people don't like it. And I was like.
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: What?
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: Who? He's like. I don't know. People. And I was like.
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: What do you mean? He's like. I don't know.
• 55:14
  Speaker 3: Like.
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: Take a look at this. And I was like, what
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: the fuck, Tom? Why would you show that to me?
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: And he was like, I don't know. You should know.
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: And I was like, no, I was better being not knowing.
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: And, uh, but then it came out on Netflix and
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: it was like trended as number one movie for like
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: a month and people love it. I've never had anyone.
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: That's the weird thing is like people say stuff online,
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: but like in person, people just give you love. Like I, I,
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: I really am not online at all these days. Like
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: I don't read any comments. I don't read anything. You
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: just interact with people. I've never, I've, I take pictures
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: everywhere I go. I was at the Ryman last night.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: I took pictures all the way up until the show started.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: All anyone did was give me love. In Nashville, I
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: get love. So I just, I kind of go by that,
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: you know? It's like COVID. Do you remember? It's like,
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: the internet's the swab. It's uncomfortable. It goes up your nose.
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: It hurts. And yeah, it goes, you have COVID. Or
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: you could not take the test and just go, I
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: don't believe in COVID.
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: That's a nice little analogy.
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: That's a nice one.
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: Hey, you don't read comments?
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't.
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: You don't read comments? Uh-uh.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: I don't read any fucking comments.
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: Pete, you don't read comments?
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: Uh, occasionally.
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: Every now and then you want to get a post
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: on something.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. I'm never on, I am off comments.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: I am off comments. Off comments.
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: Are you off social media? Like, are you running your
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: social media or is somebody else running your social media?
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: This is how, this is how.
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: Then when you do to get on a post, you
• 56:29
  Speaker 3: might like check it all.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. I look at likes. I look at
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: likes and I look at number of comments. So like,
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: I'll go, uh, like I'll go into Instagram. Let's see.
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: I'll show you exactly what I do. So I go
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: into Instagram, I go to my page, right? And then
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: I'll look at, like, this is a thing with Judd.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: So we just had Judd on, or I had Judd
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: on for Two Bears. 10,000 views, 10,000, 246,000 views, three likes, whatever.
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: And I go, that's odd. a lot of people watching
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: and a lot of people liking it. It's cause Judd's
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: a little, it's cause it's Judd and you know, podcast,
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: podcast fans are like anyone who ever stood up for wokeness,
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: they just hate them. And so Judd's a little bit
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: of a volatile character online. Jimmy Kimmel on fucking hated
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: Jimmy and Jimmy's a sweet guy.
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: Really? Yeah.
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: It's dude, you can predict what the internet's going to like.
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: You can just go like, I, I, I was shocked
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: that you guys thought you'd get any pushback about having
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: Trump on. Like when I heard you guys talk about
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: like some people aren't going to like you, I was like, who?
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: The internet loves Trump.
• 57:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but there was still some pushback.
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, there were text messages, too.
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: No, grown-ups probably didn't like you. Like, you got phone
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: calls from people's parents. But, like, the internet loves Trump.
• 57:53
  Speaker 3: Right, all in all, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: The internet, Theo had Trump on, and the internet got
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: erect immediately. And you're like, yeah, yeah.
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: But, like, 2020, the internet hated Trump. But then Elon
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: Musk buys Twitter, and now it seems like everywhere you go,
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: people are loving Trump. Do you think that's a massive
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: difference maker? Is Elon or somebody else owning Twitter?
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: I haven't been on Twitter. I haven't been on Twitter
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: since it turned into X. Really?
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: Anti-Musk.
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: You hate Elon Musk. It was such a fucking negative place.
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: Twitter or X is where probably the most negativity is. Yeah,
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: I can't. I don't. I don't want that in my life.
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: Like I don't want you to be able to affect
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: my day. Meaning if you're listening and you're like, God
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: damn it. I fucking hate Bert. I I'm cool with that.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: I get that. That's part of the job. However, I
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: don't need you getting into my day, fucking my day up.
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: Like I want to be able to walk to the office,
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: have a great fucking day, have a cocktail and smile.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: And your opinion of me, as valid as it may be,
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: I don't need to know it. I don't need to
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: know it. Also, if you love me, I can't allow
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: that to affect me either. I've got to make sure
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: that my day is controlled within my parameters and I
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: can have a beautiful day with no exterior i don't
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: you know so like that's why i don't fuck around
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: with comments that's why i don't fuck around online.
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: Have you always had that conclusion no no yeah what
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: was what was the thing that was like all right
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: i gotta i can realize that this is affecting me
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: way more than it should good or bad.
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: Oh the there was um I mean, there was a period,
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: I think probably right when the movie came out, that
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: I would read.
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: After Tom Shook. Yeah, it was definitely Tom.
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: Tom lives in town. Tom reads comments. Shane reads comments.
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: Mark Norman reads comments. They all read. Everyone. There are
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: people that read their own Reddit pages of themselves.
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: I just was like, dude, there's a kid. I remember
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: telling someone this. There's a kid who doesn't have a
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: great life. He's fucking miserable. He works at fucking Wal-Mart.
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: and he maybe stocks stuff in the back. His dad
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: left his mom and him a long time ago. He
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: lives in an apartment in Nashville. I don't know this kid,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: but this is a kid. It's got to be. He's
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: losing his hair. He's skinny. He's never really had any
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: muscle structure. Women have never really taken to him. He
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: doesn't have a lot of friends. What he does have
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: is podcasting, and God damn it, he hates Bert Kreischer. Well,
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: I don't, in real life, I don't care about this person. However,
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: if this person leaves a negative comment and I read it,
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden this person owns my fucking day
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: yeah and i was like that's impossible i can't allow
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: that to be a real thing i can't allow this
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: kid who works at walmart shelving stuffs his employees don't
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: respect him his dad left his mom when he was
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: young he's got nothing going on but god damn it
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: he is in the fucking head of this comedian and
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: i'm fucking sitting there and i can't enjoy my polar
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: plunge because this fucking kid at walmart i'm i get
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: this kid's i'm in my sauna yeah i'm I'm fucking,
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: it's wild that that was a real scenario in my life.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: That there would be someone that would, and you know,
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: there was like, what's even crazier, I'm going to give
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: this kid a shout out because there's a kid, oh fuck,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: I forgot his name. Crack D'Amico, okay?
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: Crack D'Amico.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: Shout out to the kid, he's very talented. Crack Amico?
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: Crack Amico. Crack Amico. Crack Amico, I think is his name.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: I got, and look, it's, we have a weird history of,
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: Because he wrote a really hateful song about me and Tom.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: That Ari was like, I don't know why people love
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: the negativity. But Ari's like, you got to watch it.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: You got to watch it. So I watch it. And
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I didn't enjoy it. I mean, it's horrible.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: Don't pull it. I don't even want to see it.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: Jeremy, you were about to, too, weren't you?
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's bad. It's bad. I mean, it hurt my feelings.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: And it fucked a weekend up for me. A weekend.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: I was just really bothered by it. They called me
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: on Legion of Skanks, and they were like, what did
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: you think of it? And I was like, it sucked.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: I was like, I wish I hadn't seen it. I
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: wish I hadn't seen it, and I wish it was
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: about someone else. What are you looking for? And then
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: he said, and then he did an apology video. He
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: sent me a DM, this guy. He was like, man,
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm a huge fucking fan. And it's clear
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: when you watch this song, this guy has to be
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: a massive fan of mine to have the amount of
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: information about me that he does. It's impossible not to.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: He knew who my dad's old clients were. Like, he
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: knew shit that only a mega fan would know. And
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: he said, I'm so sorry. I am a massive fan.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: And I got caught up in the hate to get views.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: And he put out a huge apology video. And then
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: I realized, like... And then he got attacked. He got
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: attacked really bad. And then he had to double back
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: and be like, it was all a joke. I was
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: just trying to get Bert. I don't know. I don't
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: know what he's doing now. I don't know. I don't care.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: It's tough to get into that little spin zone.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: It's hard. Yeah. But I remember thinking... I've seen him
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: in person. He's a smaller stature dude. He's a nice guy.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: I saw him at Skanks Fest recently. He was terrified
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: of me. I wanted to say hi to him and
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: he ran away. I know. But you go, why would
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: you ever let that guy affect your fucking life? Why
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: would you ever allow someone who is online saying something
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: negative ruin your parents' weekend with your daughter? I got
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: one weekend to spend with my daughter. I'm going to
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: get on a comment and let it fuck my day up.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: It just didn't... None of that... that's why i don't
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: fuck with comments and in the negative the positive ones
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: are you don't they don't it's like how can a
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: negative one do so much damage to me but a
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: positive one i just go glance past yeah oh that
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: was nice move on dude you're the legend whatever next
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: next you're legend next next dude i fucking you're my
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: favorite comedian okay whatever uh you're a fat fuck who
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: tells the same story over and over again god damn
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: it like.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 3: Let me spend some time on this one yeah yeah
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 3: yeah It's like live for the cheers, die by the boos.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: Dude, think about it with athletes. I think about it
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: with athletes way more.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, brother, trust me. Will and I have had that
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: conversation a bunch of times.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: Who's the... Because it's so fucked because you're doing your best.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: It's not like you're not doing your best. And then
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: you fail. And then your whole city hates you. And
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: then the next week, you got to go out and
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: try to win again for the people that fucking hate you. Right.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: Fuck off.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Fuck off.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, this great, great photo to pull up Deshaun
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: Watson this weekend tore his Achilles and people are cheering
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: Happy about it.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: Like this guy tore his Achilles might never be the
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: same ever again. Could, you know, who knows surgery could
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: go wrong. Couldn't be done playing football forever. And people
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: are like stoked that he's done.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine having to do comedy for people that
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: hated you? And what, like that, that's the thing that
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: fucks me up.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: What a feeling when you win that room over.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, did you ever see Bill Burr in Philly? No.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: This is the greatest.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: Philly hated him?
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: Hold on. And I apologize to Bill if I'm retelling
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: something that he, you know, he doesn't care about. He doesn't.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: It's just one of the most epic things. I mean,
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: it's like, He goes in and does a show in Philly.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: I'm paraphrasing. I would say anyone should go out and
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: watch the video. It's that fucking better. I'm going to paraphrase.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: He goes out and does the Opie and Anthony tour
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: in Philly. And they booed the comic before him. And
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: the second he gets up, he tries some material and
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: they start booing Bill. And Bill goes, no, fuck you.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: You know what? I got 14 minutes left and I'm
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: going to take every bit of that time to tell
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: you why your city sucks. And he starts roasting the
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: city of Philadelphia and it's brilliant in all of it
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: because he's really picking he's a sports guy so he
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: knows everything about Philly right and he grew up in
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: Boston so he really can take apart Philly but he
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: keeps going back to the clock he goes five minutes
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: left five fucking minutes and the room turns and they
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: start cheering him on And he wins the room. It
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: is the most epic fucking. It is quintessential Bill Burr.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: If you know Bill, this is how his brain works.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: And he fucking turns an arena to cheering for him
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: about him making fun of them. It's fucking brilliant.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: He is incredible. Dude, he is. He's so funny.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: He is. He is. I love him. I love him
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: to death.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: You get emotional? No, no, not at all. Okay.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: We had a period where we weren't talking. Hard pause there.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 3: I got nervous.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it sucked for both
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: of us, I think. But it's like we're in comedy.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: We're all like brothers. I was going to.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 3: Say, how does it get to a point to where
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: you guys aren't talking? Yeah.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: It's easy, actually, because we don't see each other unless
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: you're at the clubs. We didn't see each other at
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: the clubs. It's like I could very easily get to
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: a point where I'm not talking with a lot of
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: people because it's like we're living our own lives. And
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: we're reaching out and we had a podcast together. And, uh, and, and, uh,
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: you know, it was, it was like the day that
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: we kind of reconnected was that, uh, I'm saying, I'm
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: sharing this and I know this would bother Bill. I
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: know it would. So I'll shut up. Fair enough. Yeah.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: Right now, right now, Bill's bird is going, shut the
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: fuck up.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: How did he shut his goddamn mouth?
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: I love him. He's a dude.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: He's, he's got a beautiful mind. the way he's able
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 2: to dissect things. And what was the guy who used
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: to do a daily show that he said on his
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: show and then just made fun of him the whole time.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: It was a recent episode of something that came up.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 2: It was all a whole year of the now type
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: of situation. I forget who it was. And if you
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 2: can't pull it up, that's perfectly fine. Cause I don't
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 2: have a whole lot.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: He's just, he is, he is just fucking masterful.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: And, and honestly generous. And I love him to death.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 3: It's, I love it.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: It's, it's the coolest thing is I'm in a job where,
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: The greatest minds in the world are my friends. Like the,
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: like the.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 3: Fact that like, thank you for saying that about us, man. Yeah.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: You know, I love you guys more than anything.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: The feeling is definitely mutual.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: I said, I'm sitting outside listening to you guys talk
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: about sports. I'm like, God damn it. That's like, it's crazy.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: It's crazy. Now that like you guys, it was never
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: going to be this way. Football was supposed to be
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: the highlight of your life. That's it. That was the mountaintop.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 3: You did it.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: It's over. And you guys have created a paradigm of,
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: Within which the biggest moments of your life are still
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: ahead of you. It's fucking insane. I mean, look at
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: Pat McAfee. That fucking guy is epic. I mean, fucking insane.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 2: Could you imagine if Pat McAfee decided to listen to
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: everybody that was like, hey, you're a punter, just be
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: a punter?
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 3: Right, right, right, right. I mean. Yep. Every move he's
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: made has been criticism.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: The biggest, like, what is it? The biggest boundary you
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: have is your own imagination or what you believe you're
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 2: allowed to do and not allowed to do. Cause it
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: really is.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 3: You're absolutely right.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 2: Like Pat is a guy that in the sports world,
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: especially in general, just on top of the absolute world.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 3: And called him nuts. Crazy. Get a helmet back on him.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 3: Why is he retiring?
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: I thought he was a little out of his mind
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: when he started his podcast and I saw how much
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: he was investing in it. Cause I remember we were
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: all doing like, we all just had like a zoom
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: and a couple of mics.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: And then we went to, I remember going to pass
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: going like, yo, you have a building. Like you have
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: a billion employees. Like who the fuck? What? And I
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: was like, I was like, okay. And then in my head,
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: I was like, is this the future? And he was,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: and he was just, I think he's just, he's just
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: fucking dialed in. Can I tell you someone else who's
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: sneaky dialed in that you'd never think it. I think
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: it's fucking Theo. Oh yeah. Theo is like, You know,
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: it's like, talk about under-promise, over-perform. Theo fucking Vaughn, man.
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: That guy, I was texting him last night. This made
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: me feel so fucking in my feelings about it. He goes,
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: I was like, having talent. You want to hang out
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: or something? He's like, yeah. He's like, I can't tonight.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: I'm preparing for a podcast. And I went, we're supposed
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: to be preparing for these?
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 3: He's done an incredible job. When we did Trump.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: So I went, I listened to a couple of podcasts,
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: wrote some notes down. But when I got to like
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: Chicago to do the episode, I was like, all right,
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: we got it. I know I got Will. I know
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: there's always like, anytime things aren't doing like there's, you
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: feel like there's something you can always just turn to Will.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: We can just talk for a little bit and then
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 2: find our way to a new question. So in my mind,
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling very confident, very comfortable. It's like 30 minutes
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: before he comes on and Will is writing notes, looking
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: at something. I'm pretty sure he had headphones in. And
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking to myself, oh my God, like what, is
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: there something I'm not doing right now that I should
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: absolutely be doing?
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 4: The panic that ensued in my body.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: I literally, I got the piece of paper out and
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: I started just writing things on a piece of paper
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 2: that didn't even fucking make sense. Because I feel like
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: I should just be doing this also because he's doing
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: this when.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 4: I feel a whole lot better when I do a
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 4: little bit less actually.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: But because he was so prepared and we sat there
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: for six hours before the episode.
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 3: That's what was brutal yeah because if you.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: Go and you're like alright we have this big guest
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: coming on the first time you came on before we're
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: familiar with you it's like yo we got fucking Bert
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: on the episode your whole goal is the minute you
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: walk here it's like get him on the bus as
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 2: soon as possible because you don't want to have like the.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 3: Small talk where you're like don't talk about things blah
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 3: blah blah And.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: So we sit there with this for six hours with
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: a couple of Secret Service guys. All the conversations you
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: could have are already done. And now it's just like,
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 2: now we have an hour and a half.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 3: We got there at three to do all the Secret
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 3: Service stuff. And we were supposed to be there at three.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 3: We were probably going to sit down and interview them
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 3: at like six. And then there was a little hope
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 3: that we might get them on a little earlier. I
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 3: don't think we sat down with them until like 9 p.m.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 3: at night.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: So we are for, and we're like, we're like tracks
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 3: in that, that little conference room, unless you go, unless
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 3: you go potty. And then the secret service guys got
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 3: to escort you.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, cause. Oh yeah. Oh, I didn't even think about it.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: I'm like, why the fuck?
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It was.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: And that's, yeah.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: I'm preparing for my Putin interview. I'm getting Putin. I
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: know everything about that guy. He's flying in Austin, Texas. Yeah.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: I'm fucking, I'll fly that. I told, I was, I
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: was going to go to Russia to promote the movie.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: And apparently they're kidnapping journalists. And so I was like, well,
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: maybe it's a bad time.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, you make it out.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 3: That's a whole new special. You got that motherfucker now.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: That's a nice little deal.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 3: Make sure the camera's running.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: I'd definitely bring a vape pen in.
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a way.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: Whatever happened to Brittany Grier? Is she still playing?
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: Is she still hooping?
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: She's back. Nice.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: She's doing it?
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 3: Hey, but on your point with Theo, yeah, I feel
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 3: like he is reaching insane new stratospheres because his pod,
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 3: the way he started, because I've followed Theo since... He's
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 3: been podcasting out in LA and everything else, the Rat King.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 3: And now it feels like he's becoming like a, A
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 3: Rogan-esque style podcast where he has all these massive names
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 3: and all these massive people, but he does it his
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 3: style and his way.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: And making the change, I believe it was during COVID
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 2: or around that time where he was like, I'm leaving LA,
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go to Nashville.
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: When he was doing a whole bunch of stuff with
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 2: Shawb and D'Elia and all that. And it's like, this
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 2: guy's kind of taking away his lifeline a little bit
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 2: because he was always kind of in a group of
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 2: people as opposed to being solo.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 2: And taking that by the balls and rolling is.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, Trump on them, Bernie Sanders. Yeah, just wow.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: And then he has a plumber.
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 4: And the numbers are just as well.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 2: People are really there for Theo.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: I will tell you this, and I think Theo would
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: even attest to this. Me and Amy Schumer realized how
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: brilliant he was when we did a reality show called
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: Reality Bites Back on Comedy Central probably like 12 years ago.
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: And Theo Vaughn was... Without question on the final episode
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: of that show, the funniest individual anyone's ever witnessed speak aloud.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: We were crying, laughing from the, for the whole Amy Schumer.
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: And I were like, he is going to be the
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: best comic ever. If it, and this was a thing,
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: it was like, if he can figure out how to
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: do what he's doing right now on stage that any,
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: and I'm, I'm being for real. He didn't for a while.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: Because this was probably 15 years ago, 12 years ago.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: Is that the episode? That fucking, that person right there
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: made me and Amy Schumer laugh harder than any. I've
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: never laughed that hard. Mike William Black was like, dude,
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: this guy's a genius. Everyone. Donnell Rollins. Theo's the funniest
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: man alive. And he figured out, he just cut some
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 1: of the bullshit out. And he is today, that guy. Man,
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: we saw it. We got the first taste of it
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: that night. And we were like, This man will be unstoppable.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: And he's the sweetest fucking guy. You know how sweet
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: this motherfucker is? I love little secret stuff. You landed
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 1: the podcast with your ladies.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: Fucking, you know, Theo showed up to give her love.
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: He pulled up to say, hey, Leanne, first live show.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: I just want to say hi and congratulations. That's who
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: the fuck that guy is.
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 2: That's awesome.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: You don't ever... Like that shit goes down in my
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: book forever. Like that's like, he's a real dude.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: That's all time. When it comes to the podcast stuff,
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 2: like you with Rogan, him starting, did you guys ever
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: imagine that that would be, I mean, is that the
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: craziest shit in the world?
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: No, dude.
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 2: Because you see the clip of him. He was on
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: somebody else's show that kind of gave him the brainchild
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 2: to make the Joe Rogan experience. And we all, I mean,
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 2: you're obviously friends with him, but everybody who listens to
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 2: podcasts has come across Rogan one way or another and
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 2: most of the time become fans.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: And he's got the largest podcast in the entire world.
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 2: Did you guys ever think that was going to be
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 2: such a massive opportunity for views and everything and getting
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 2: to see your specials and your movie coming out and
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 2: all that?
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: Dude. I it's, it's why I have a hard time
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: understanding the way people see Joe today. Cause I just
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: know that Joe, like I just know the Joe, like,
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: like it's funny. I like to go back and listen
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: to old episodes of his and cause that's the Joe
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: I remember this. I mean, he's, he's brilliant. He's always
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: been a brilliant dude. He's always been ahead of the curve.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: And I'll say that I knew something was up with
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: the podcast. The first time I did it and I
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: got like 6,000 followers on Twitter immediately. And I was like, whoa.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: And then the next time I did it, I put
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: out the machine shirt and I sold like 25 grand
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 1: in shirts by the weekend. And I was like, whoa.
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: And we did six figures in shirts in the first month.
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: And I was like, whoa, this is like, I mean,
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 1: you kind of knew. Then there's like a moment where,
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: and then when we did like Sober October and you just,
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: the ground swell around it. And that's why I also
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 1: say like, That's why negative stuff caught me off guard
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: because you only– like it was overwhelmingly positive. If you
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: went on Rogan, it was overwhelmingly positive. It was like, dude,
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 1: you guys are losing weight. Bert got his beard shaved
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: and everyone– Tom's fat. Pray for Joe. And it was
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: like crazy. I think the time I started noticing negativity
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: really honestly was when I got drugged by Ari. And
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: not everyone– Thought it was bad. And I remember going like, oh,
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: there are people that call me a bitch because I
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: got upset by it. And I was like, oh, this
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: is weird. It was crazy because it was our friendship
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: and it was our friends. It was like, you know what?
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: I might talk to Joe every day probably an hour
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: that whole October, probably every day for an hour. And
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: I talked to him because I was really upset by it.
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: But I don't think any of us ever– ever thought
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: it was going to be what it is. I don't
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 1: think any of us ever saw this for him. I mean, I,
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: and I still, to this day, like I was with
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: him the other day and I was like, I was like, what?
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: Like he's signed that new deal or whatever. And I
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 1: was like, what's it like? What's it like to be
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: like that rich? Like, I never thought I'd know someone
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: had that much money. And he was just like, Oh no.
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 1: Like he's, I mean, he's still Joe to me. Like
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: he's still like, And he's like, I don't know, man.
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: My favorite Joe moment is we were high and he
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: was like, how many fish do you think we'd have
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: if you could throw a fish 10 feet in the
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: air and it grew wings and it would fly? How
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: many fish do you think we'd have on this earth?
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: And I was like, the fuck are you talking about?
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. What does that even mean?
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: But that's Joe Rogan. That's who he is. He's a silly.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: Backstore at the mothership, that's Joe Rogan. Like, when I
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: see him interview some of these fucking people, I go,
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know that guy at all. I don't really... Like,
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: I don't understand. He read the guy's book before the
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 1: fucking thing? Right. Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck?
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 2: Ultimate curiosity.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: Dude, ultimate curiosity. But the Rogan I know is the
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: one that you get there... I mean, this is like the...
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: Anyone that's done... That's good friends with Joe would know
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: this Joe. The Joe that you do the podcast with
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: and then you play pool with for an hour, smoking
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 1: weed and talking shit. That's the Joe I know. Like,
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: that's the fucking... But he's a... I mean, he's... He
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 1: saw it early. He was told to all of us,
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: get podcasts. He's like, get a podcast immediately. Get a podcast.
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm better as a guest. He's like, no,
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: get a podcast. Get a podcast. You got to have
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 1: a podcast. Dude, I'm telling you, this is going to
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: change the fucking world. Dude, thank God I listened to him.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 1: Thank fucking God. Thank God for Joey Diaz and Thompson
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: Girl that came over to my house on on a
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 1: sunday when my dad we were having easter sunday they
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 1: came over tom hit record gave us all mics and
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 1: i did my first podcast tom said don't edit it
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 1: just put it up and now you got to do
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: it every week and thank god he did that because
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: it changed my life i mean that tom it's amazing
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 1: all the people that affect you in certain ways that are,
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 1: have a positive effect in your life. And it's funny
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: to see who people see Tom as. I just know
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 1: Tom as a guy who counts your burps in a car,
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: you know, like that's Tommy. Like he's just, he's, I,
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: I know him as the fat Tom. I don't, I
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 1: don't think of him as having money ever. I know
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 1: that he has money, but I, all I remember is
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: poor Tom who would plug his phone in across the
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 1: room cause he only had one charger. And then he'd just,
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: walk across the room to get his fucking phone. Like,
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 1: I only know, like, I remember when he got addicted
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: to pecan pies and he started eating like two or
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: three pecan pies a day.
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 3: A day.
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, he used to travel with hot sauce in his pocket.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: He had hot sauce on him all the time. Dude, I, my,
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: I love, my fucking favorite moment of Tommy is, and
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 1: this is worthy of someone Googling and watching for yourself.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 1: We went to Hawaii, me and Tom, and with Russell Peters. And,
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: The very first day Tom's hairy as fuck. And I go, dude,
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: let me shave your back. And he goes, you sure?
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: I said, yeah, let me shave your back. So I
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: shave his back and he's shaving his back. I realized
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 1: there's so much hair on him that like, I was like, dude, your,
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: your armpit hair connects with your chest hair. That shouldn't happen.
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 1: I go, let me hollow that out for you. And
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 1: he goes, what do you mean? I said, I'll just
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 1: clean it up. I'm going to clean it up. So
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: it looks defined. It looks like you have muscles. And
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 1: he's like, you sure? And I was like, yeah, I'm drunk.
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 1: He's drunk. And I shave his one tit, like to
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 1: hollow it out. And as I pull back... As I
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 1: pull back, I realize it looks like his tits are
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 1: wearing sunglasses. And he gets fucking livid because it's our
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 1: first day in Hawaii and he looks ridiculous. And I
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 1: can't stop fucking laughing. I am crying laughing. It's the
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: hardest I've ever laughed because it looks insane. And now
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: he has to walk around Hawaii looking like this all
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 1: fucking week.
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 3: Oh my God. I didn't know he was that fat. Oh, bro.
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, bro. Oh, hold on.
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 2: Look up some of his earlier specials.
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: If there's ever been an ad for Ozempic, let me
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 1: tell you, this fucking guy, he was so fucking fat.
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 1: He was, type in, just have fun and Google fat Tom.
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 1: And it is fucking insane how fat he was.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 3: Massive. Yeah, I did not know that.
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 2: Massive.
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. And you know, he was like a
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: stud growing up. Like recruited to play football places. Jawline. Chint.
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: Look at... That's not him. That's not him.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 2: Sherm's out there grabbing another tweet. He'll come back and
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 2: be able to dial it all in.
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you the one thing that I wish I had.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 3: That's him?
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 2: I think that.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 3: Or is that Photoshop?
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 1: That's him. That's him. That's him.
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 3: That one right there is him?
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 1: That's Tom. That's Tom Segura. That's Tom Segura. I mean, bro.
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 1: That's fucking Tom Segura.
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 2: Big boy.
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 3: Big boy.
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 2: Big. Big boy.
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 1: If there was one thing.
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: Four stairs, tired, out of breath boy.
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 1: If there was one thing you admire in him that
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: you wish you had, and if there's one thing you
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 1: admire in him that you wish you had, what would
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 1: it be?
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 3: Say that again?
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: I look at Tommy and I go, the one thing
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 1: I wish I had that Tommy has is he doesn't
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: care what people think about him. Like, really. That is beautiful.
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: It's insane. It's insane. When he went after pro wrestling,
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, yo, Tom, we have friends that are
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: professional wrestlers. He's like, okay. I go, yeah, but I
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: think a lot of people are going to get upset
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: and you'll say, I don't give a fuck. He really
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 1: doesn't care at all. It's insane. You know, he doesn't
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: care on such a fucking level. Like he doesn't, like
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: when we go do Rogan, he's like, no, I got
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 1: a hard out. I can only do an hour today.
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 1: And you're like, dude, it's Rogan. Let's do three hours.
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: He's like, no, I'm leaving. He just doesn't care. He
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 1: can sit silently in a car and not talk for
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 1: a fucking six hour car ride. Just not speak to you.
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 1: He's insane. I wish I could not say. I wish
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 1: I could not. So what's one thing that you see
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 1: him do that you go, I wish I had more
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: of that? And what's one thing you see him have
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: that you go, I wish I could be more like that?
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 3: Probably Taylor's obsessive discipline with his health.
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 2: Okay. Really?
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like when Taylor wants to get something done health-wise,
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 3: he stays dialed in. No, obviously, like, we'll have our
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 3: times where we splurge and do all that kind of stuff.
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 3: I mean, the car ride back from Knoxville this weekend.
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not talking about that stuff.
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 2: The boys went nasty on that gas station, didn't we?
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm talking about. Like, when he gets
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 3: dialed in on something health-wise that he wants to get
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 3: done and accomplished, like, it gets accomplished.
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 1: Really? Are you working out right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 1: Can't tell you.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 2: What's up, dude?
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: I mean, you look amazing. No, I literally.
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 2: It's funny you say that, and I do appreciate that,
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 2: because literally for the last two months, I've been traveling
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 2: and moving around so much that I've just treated my
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 2: body like a sewer.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 3: I know it pisses you off, too. I know, because
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 3: I just....
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 2: I do love, I found myself loving routine and enjoying
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 2: routine and figuring out, okay, I'm going to get up
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 2: in the morning. I'm going to do this. And then
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go. And as soon as work is done,
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 2: I'm going to immediately get home as fast as possible
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 2: and spend as much time with my family as possible.
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 2: Don't pull this shit up. I did a thing for
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 2: Redwood Outdoor.
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 3: No free shout outs.
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 3: And he was that way in football too. Yeah, very.
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I think you've got that.
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 1: I would have loved.
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but not like as intense.
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. One thing I love about Will that I wish
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 2: I had more of is how truly intentional he is
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 2: with things. Like when we do our locker room that
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 2: comes out on Wednesdays, he's so intentional about what he's
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 2: going to say and what his picks are and how
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 2: he's going to say it to where.
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: I really enjoy.
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 2: Going somewhere and then figuring out what I'm going to
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 2: say there. I think there's a lot of fun in
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 2: that for my brain to be like, okay, like, let
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 2: me try to maneuver and figure out my best way
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 2: to make my friend smile, laugh, or ask a good question.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 2: What I see will do kind of like the Trump
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 2: thing is like the, the ability to prepare in a
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 2: way that is extremely effective and extremely intentional about the
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 2: way he does it that I just don't have that.
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 1: The best part of that interview was the last two questions.
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and they were all by a gun.
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: That was really smart. Because you ended up getting like
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: 10 more minutes out of him. Because he was done.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: And then you were like, actually, I have one more question.
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: And I actually have one. It's a follow-up. And that
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 1: was the best part of that interview. That was really smart.
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. It's a special thing. And that was nice.
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 2: You made us do that.
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I wish Tommy, if I was going to say,
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 1: now that I'm talking to you two, if I was like,
• 1:25:40
  Speaker 1: I wish Tommy had more of the thing you guys have.
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 1: Tommy and I are close, but we're close in a
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 1: weird way. We're really close, but not publicly, if that
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 1: makes sense. You guys team up really well together. When
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 1: you guys do stuff like Beer Olympics, you could never
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 1: get Tommy to do Beer Olympics. You could never get
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 1: him to do that.
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 2: He did promise when he was at the Super Bowl.
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 2: He did break that promise.
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 1: He did.
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 3: He broke that promise.
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 1: Even this. Now I'm going to fucking tell a secret,
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: but Tommy wasn't going to come to the premiere of
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 1: my movie.
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 2: I know, yeah.
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 3: Oh, you knew that?
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he just doesn't give a fuck.
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 1: He just really doesn't give a fuck about a lot
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 1: of things. And so he goes, yeah, I'm not going
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: to make it. I'm just coming in. I'm going to
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 1: be on the road. And it really fucked me up.
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I would go anywhere for him, right?
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 1: But he's like, yeah, I just can't do it. And
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 1: you're like, what? I mean, I got emotional. And then
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 1: he showed up and surprised me, and I cried on
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 1: the fucking red carpet. But I was like, I love if.
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 1: And maybe it's because we live in different cities though
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 1: now is that we're, you know, we're so, it seems
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 1: like we're so distant. We're like, we only see each
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 1: other to do the podcast, you know? Like I wish,
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 1: I wish it was, I wish we could go back
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 1: to COVID. Do you guys miss COVID at all?
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 3: I miss COVID for the late night risk games.
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, dude. And it was like a weekday too, like
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 2: a Tuesday night. Because we do, like, that's one thing
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 2: that I was interested in is your guys' relationship being
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 2: in different cities. Like, you probably cherish the times you're
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 2: together a lot more.
• 1:27:08
  Speaker 1: We dump, we emotionally dump on each other when we
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 1: see each other. Like, just everything comes out. And then
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 1: we pod. And what's, it only sucks a little bit is, like,
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 1: because we're in different cities, we don't really, like, we
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 1: don't really get to hang out as much, you know? Yeah.
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 1: if we hang out, we're like, we might as well
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 1: monetize it. Let's fucking do a podcast.
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 2: That's kind of, I mean, that's kind of where we
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 2: sit a little bit too. Like there's been a couple
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 2: of times where Taylor's been out of town or Charles
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 2: been out of town. And one of us is like, Hey,
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 2: this weekend, let's get the boys together.
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 2: Let's do X, Y, and Z. And then you just
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 2: spend every single day with each other. And it's kind
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 2: of like the weekend comes and goes and you're like,
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we didn't hang out. Did we? Cause you're
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 2: just together all the time.
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you something crazy. Long time ago. Uh, I remember, uh,
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 1: talking to Rogan on the phone. This is bizarre. And
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 1: he was like, we got into a really good conversation.
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 1: He's like, yo, yo, yo, yo, save it. Why don't
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 1: you come over? Let's podcast. And I was like, yeah,
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 1: good call. I hung up, drove out, podcast, had the
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 1: same conversation. Because you're like, yo, it's such a good conversation.
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 2: That's how most of our Mondays are. We'll show up,
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 2: we'll start talking about things. Let's just wait. We'll just
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 2: wait until we get on the bus.
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 1: But you know what's crazy is the conversations Tommy and
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 1: I do have that aren't on the podcast would be
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 1: such great podcasts. Like, it's just gossip and, like, drama. And, like,
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, like.
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 2: Just a couple of gals spilling tea.
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, I remember when.
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 3: You're not thinking about what you say. You're just having
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 3: a conversation.
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 3: The good thing with us, too, though, is, we do
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 3: the fall tour. We do different tours where we're traveling around,
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 3: going to games together. So we get to do fun
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 3: shit like that that gets considered. We're working, but ultimately
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 3: we're having.
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 1: A blast together. We couldn't do that. We cannot tour together.
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 1: We are very different tour people.
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 2: Like it would not go well or go too well
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 2: to the point where it would not be good?
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 1: No, it would never go well. I mean, am I
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 1: right in assessing this? Tom, when we did the Super Bowl,
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: we did the Super Bowl just recently. Yeah, me and
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 1: him did with Shane and we brought Shane and then
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 1: Bobby Lee with us. My green room was fucking awesome.
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 1: Nate Diaz, Guy Fieri, Jimmy Kimmel, fucking a bunch of
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: pro athletes, fucking Shane and Bobby and fucking everyone's having cocktails.
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 1: Tom had his own green room Where there was a
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 1: red light and Tom sitting in a chair.
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 3: I swear.
• 1:29:34
  Speaker 1: Am I making this up? Tom sits by himself in
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 1: his green room with a red light. He changes all
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 1: the lights around and he just sits there. Why? Because
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 1: he's a fucking lunatic. I went to his show at
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: the Forum and he just is sitting in a red.
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: And I go, what are you doing? And he doesn't drink.
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 1: He doesn't really party. He's just relaxing. He had too
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 1: short at his fucking show at the Forum. I went
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 1: to go see him. What's so crazy is I was
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 1: at his show on the forum and some guy was like,
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 1: you guys are really friends? And I was like, yeah.
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 1: He's like, you came to support your friend? I was like, yeah,
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 1: like we're regular. But Tom's in his room with a
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 1: red light by himself. I went into Tushor's room and
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 1: got fucking lit. I was like, why would you fucking
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: sit in Tom's room? He is such a drip. He
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 1: like just sits like, and like he gets done the
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 1: show and he's like, well, would you like to get
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 1: a steak maybe or go to bed? I'm like, no, man,
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 1: we're going to get fucking loose. And he's like, no. Yeah,
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 1: he had too short. I saw too short. I got
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 1: fucking freaked out. I called him Todd Shaw.
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 2: Do you ever get Tom to like truly bask in
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 2: what he's done with his life? He just seems like
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 2: a guy that is just like, like you said, doesn't
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 2: give a fuck and just kind of move forward. Do
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 2: you ever get him to sit there and be like, hey,
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 2: look how much you've accomplished. Look how much you've done.
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 2: And then be like, oh my God, that's so cool.
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 5: Do you think he ever pinches himself being like, I
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 5: can't believe this. We're getting to do this stuff. No,
• 1:30:52
  Speaker 5: if it all went away, he wouldn't give a fuck. Like,
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 5: he doesn't, like, he doesn't, none of his, Tom is
• 1:30:58
  Speaker 5: very disconnected from his ego. Like, he doesn't, standing ovation
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 5: doesn't mean anything to him. It doesn't affect him the
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 5: way it affects me. If I get a standing ovation,
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 5: sometimes I'll cry. I'll get emotional. I'll be like, because
• 1:31:09
  Speaker 5: I feel it.
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 1: I feel it. Like, look at him. He's just like this.
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 1: Head down like this. Like, don't, please. You know? That's fucking,
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 1: he looks like he's getting arrested. They're on their feet
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 1: in a fucking.
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 2: Cheering on the words you said, which is the craziest
• 1:31:23
  Speaker 2: thing about being a comic.
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 2: You just said words in a way that made people go,
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 2: that's fucking, that's funny.
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 2: And people like it so much that they're standing up
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 2: and clapping for you.
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 1: And his effect. And Burr's this way a little bit.
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 1: They're both like, the praise and the adulation, maybe, I
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know. I don't know if they
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 1: find it gross or- you know, to, to bask in
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 1: it or, and I don't know, but they, they're very
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 1: similar men where they're just like, yeah, thank you. And
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 1: they just walk off, dude. I fucking, I mean, like
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 1: there was a period of time where I could get
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 1: a standing ovation if I wanted one. Like I knew
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 1: how to do it. Like I would, I'd be like,
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: thank you. And then turn my back and go three, two, one. Oh,
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: here we go. Oh, there's a, I did it to
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 1: Ari one time and I've never seen Ari. lose his
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: mind more. I told him like, or he's like, I've
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 1: never had a standing ovation. I said, you can get
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 1: one if you want one. He's like, what? And I said,
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah. I'll show you this. If I want one,
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 1: I can show you how I do it. I just,
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 1: what I do is I go, thank you. And then
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 1: I go to get my shirt. And as I grab
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 1: my shirt, I turn around and then you see one person,
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 1: you go, oh no, thank you so much. And then another,
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 1: oh no, no, no. Oh guys, please don't, please don't.
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 1: And then everyone stands up and Ari was like, are
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 1: you fucking kidding me? And I was like, yeah, yeah.
• 1:32:42
  Speaker 1: But like guys like Tom and Ari and Joe, they
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 1: would never think about that. But I don't know. I'm
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 1: fucking broken. I'm fucking broken. Like, dude, if you give
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 1: me a standing ovation, I will get emotional. I love it.
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 1: It's fucking awesome. I love when people say, Hey man,
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 1: I love your podcast or I love you. It means
• 1:32:59
  Speaker 1: something to me. I go, thank you. You know? So yeah,
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 1: I've cried so much on podcasts.
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 3: The ugly cry too.
• 1:33:09
  Speaker 1: All my cries are ugly.
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 1: Which one's that one?
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 2: I love how it's just subtitles. Balling.
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 3: Balling.
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 1: Chris DiStefano. DiStefano, yes. Oh, I cried at the end. Fucking,
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 1: hold on. This is not fair. Everyone should cry at
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 1: the end of fucking Of Mice and Men. Balling. I
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 1: get to feed the rabbits. This was Tom saying he
• 1:33:30
  Speaker 1: was like, I was like Lenny and he was like George.
• 1:33:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 2: I don't think I've seen this movie.
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 1: Are you fucking kidding me?
• 1:33:38
  Speaker 3: What's the movie called?
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 1: Of Mice and Men. No, I haven't seen it. Do
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 1: I get to feed the rabbits, George? I've never seen it.
• 1:33:43
  Speaker 1: Can I feed the rabbits? Don't say it. Tell me
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 1: like it's going to be. Tell me like it's going
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 1: to be. With the alfalfa? You've never seen it?
• 1:33:49
  Speaker 3: No.
• 1:33:49
  Speaker 1: Are you fucking kidding me?
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 3: No.
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 1: Are you?
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 3: We had to read the book.
• 1:33:53
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. And then we, this is not, we
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 1: were breaking down mentally disabled.
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 2: The one of you and DeStefano. when the Stefano starts
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 2: crying about him not being around his kid and stuff
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 2: like that. I mean, obviously having a kid and traveling
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 2: as much as I do just hit different than.
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 3: Watching two grown men at that point in time.
• 1:34:08
  Speaker 1: Here's the thing. Here's the thing. So I get, I'll get,
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 1: I get shit on sometimes when I get emotional and, and, uh,
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 1: like people just said enough, I'm tired of it. But like,
• 1:34:17
  Speaker 1: there's certain, look, that's my, my cancel thing is like,
• 1:34:22
  Speaker 1: I overshare about like, you have a video. I got
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 1: emotional on a video you had about, Telling your daughter
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 1: you loved her when you dropped her off at school.
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 1: I think I texted you right after that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look,
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 1: you can take it or leave it. I don't give
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 1: a fuck. I'm going to be 100% of me 100%
• 1:34:37
  Speaker 1: of the time. And if I get emotional in moments
• 1:34:40
  Speaker 1: like this, I don't give a fuck. If you go unfollowed,
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 1: this isn't what I signed up for. Why aren't you
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 1: being funny? I don't give a fuck. I don't give
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 1: a fuck. I really genuinely don't give a fuck.
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 1: But this moment, it's so hard, man. It's so hard
• 1:34:55
  Speaker 1: to leave your kids. And, you know, what's crazy about
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 1: this generation, like DeStefano is younger than me. He's very
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 1: cognizant of it. Like we weren't cognizant. We just, I
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 1: just did what I had to do. Like I just,
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 1: I went on the road. Georgia was born. We induced
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 1: labor because I had to work. That's like, that's how
• 1:35:14
  Speaker 1: we started her life. We brought her in three days
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 1: early so I could work with Dave Attell. And so
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 1: I went on the road. For the first year of
• 1:35:23
  Speaker 1: her life, I was on the road every single weekend.
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 1: I didn't have an option. I didn't have a choice.
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 3: We were poor.
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: Like we, that's if everyone, I don't know, didn't have
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 1: any money. Like I made $ 700 a weekend. I had
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 1: to pay for my flights and my hotel. We had
• 1:35:36
  Speaker 1: no money, but I had to do that in order
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 1: to have a little money. And Leanne had a job.
• 1:35:40
  Speaker 1: Leanne worked 20, you know, 40 hours a week. And, uh, and, uh,
• 1:35:46
  Speaker 1: and I worked every fucking time. I leveraged these children's childhoods.
• 1:35:51
  Speaker 1: for work I worked and and then if we did
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 1: stuff like this this is a family vacation I definitely
• 1:35:55
  Speaker 1: put it online because I needed to sell tickets the
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 1: next week in Omaha you know and so I did
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 1: out all that and I fucking told every story about
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 1: their life on stage because I just didn't know any
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 1: better look if I had the hindsight to go back
• 1:36:08
  Speaker 1: and do it different I would definitely do it differently
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 1: like if I could do what Stefano did and take
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 1: some time off and be with my family absolutely.
• 1:36:16
  Speaker 2: He's got a unique rule. We had him on the
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 2: show over a year ago now where he said, I
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 2: won't leave. I'll stay in this region. I won't leave
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 2: for more than 24 hours at a time.
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 1: It's great, man. It's like, listen. Your wife had a story.
• 1:36:31
  Speaker 2: I don't know what show it was on, whether it
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 2: was hers, yours, or just a post on Instagram. But
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 2: she tells a story about when you guys were broke
• 1:36:38
  Speaker 2: the way you said you were, and you were like,
• 1:36:40
  Speaker 2: had like a 40 in your hand and a bag
• 1:36:43
  Speaker 2: and you were skateboarding home. And she's like, that's don't
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 2: ever lose that.
• 1:36:46
  Speaker 1: So I'll, I'll tell you the, the God, I love
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 1: miss that sweatshirt. I thought you were going to say something.
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 1: I love that sweatshirt. That's a great sweatshirt. That's a
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 1: nice one.
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 1: It's heavy. It's heavy. Um, I was, I had, I've
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 1: had many careers within my career. Like when I was 26,
• 1:37:04
  Speaker 1: I got picked by Will Smith to do a development deal,
• 1:37:09
  Speaker 1: six figures, two, Got a TV show right after that.
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 1: And I remember being on Franklin and Vine. And it
• 1:37:15
  Speaker 1: was right when the seasons were changing in L.A., which
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 1: is really kind of cool. It's cold, but not cold,
• 1:37:21
  Speaker 1: but very windy. Really windy. And I was in an expedition,
• 1:37:24
  Speaker 1: an Eddie Bauer expedition. I had more money than I
• 1:37:28
  Speaker 1: ever thought I'd make. I was in a Jason Williams jersey.
• 1:37:31
  Speaker 1: I was listening to Ja Rule, the one he did
• 1:37:34
  Speaker 1: with Ashanti, you know. And I was on the corner.
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 1: I was going to work. And I was like, oh man,
• 1:37:41
  Speaker 1: I thought I'd be happier. Like I thought life would
• 1:37:44
  Speaker 1: be like, I got everything I wanted. Like every, I
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 1: got it all. I thought I'd be happier. I was like,
• 1:37:49
  Speaker 1: it just doesn't, the sparkle isn't there. I was like,
• 1:37:52
  Speaker 1: it's nice, but I don't know. So then cut to
• 1:37:54
  Speaker 1: probably four or five years later, I'm married to Leanne.
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 1: We have Georgia and Isla. We're broke. We're piss broke.
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, I remember Daniel Tosh coming over to
• 1:38:03
  Speaker 1: to pick me up. We were going to go play poker.
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 3: What a legend.
• 1:38:07
  Speaker 1: And, uh, he, and I said, I needed a hundred
• 1:38:09
  Speaker 1: dollars from Leanne. And she said, we don't have it.
• 1:38:10
  Speaker 1: And I said, no, just give me the, give me
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 1: a hundred dollars. She goes, no, we don't have a
• 1:38:13
  Speaker 1: hundred dollars. I said, babe, I'm not going to lose it.
• 1:38:16
  Speaker 1: Just give me a hundred bucks. She goes, honey, we
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 1: don't have, I can't find $ 100 to give you. And
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 1: Daniel Tosh was like, I'll give you a hundred dollars
• 1:38:21
  Speaker 1: to end this conversation. We were broke. Right. And she
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 1: sent me to Rouse to go get, uh, milk for
• 1:38:30
  Speaker 1: the girls and i skateboarded to rouse and i with
• 1:38:34
  Speaker 1: whatever money she'd given me i bought myself a 40
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 1: of fosters like a big oil can and i was
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 1: skating home listening to uh modest mouse and i was
• 1:38:44
  Speaker 1: just skateboarding and i was fucking And I literally said
• 1:38:48
  Speaker 1: to myself in that moment, I was on Detroit street.
• 1:38:50
  Speaker 1: I went this, I'm happy as fuck right now. Like
• 1:38:53
  Speaker 1: I'm really happy. And she was watching me from the
• 1:38:56
  Speaker 1: balcony and she's, and as I got up there, she goes,
• 1:38:59
  Speaker 1: don't ever lose that boy. That guy that just killing
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 1: a 40, just skateboarding, just smiling ear to fucking ear.
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 1: And I said, I swear to God. And I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm,
• 1:39:08
  Speaker 1: you know, I talk in hyperbole, but like every day
• 1:39:11
  Speaker 1: I get with that chick is like fucking that. It's
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 1: like fun as fuck, man. I never thought that chick.
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 1: would be the one to give me all that. Like,
• 1:39:18
  Speaker 1: I thought she'd have to have way bigger tits, bronze skin,
• 1:39:22
  Speaker 1: blonde hair, six feet. Like, I thought that was the chick.
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 1: But this little fucking redneck midget, this little fucking, fucking barefoot, just,
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 1: I just, it's like crazy that the chick, you know,
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 1: and yeah, but I'm the happiest guy in the fucking world.
• 1:39:39
  Speaker 1: I got everything I ever wanted in life. Ever wanted.
• 1:39:41
  Speaker 1: And no one's telling me to quit drinking. That's the best.
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 2: She's never once said to you, hey, listen.
• 1:39:46
  Speaker 1: She says. She's told me, reel it in, big boy. Yeah.
• 1:39:52
  Speaker 3: A couple times.
• 1:39:54
  Speaker 2: What a beautiful 180 from the start.
• 1:39:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I reel it in.
• 1:39:57
  Speaker 1: I reel it in. Look, I like to have a
• 1:40:01
  Speaker 1: good time. And it's like, tomorrow's not guaranteed for anybody.
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 1: So what the fuck are we doing?
• 1:40:06
  Speaker 2: Well, according to you, it is guaranteed.
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 1: I'll be here tomorrow.
• 1:40:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll be here. I can't tell you.
• 1:40:14
  Speaker 1: I think I'm losing my fucking mind. You know, this
• 1:40:16
  Speaker 1: is the last podcast I'm going to do for like
• 1:40:18
  Speaker 1: a year. Why?
• 1:40:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what's going on? Tell us what's in the works
• 1:40:22
  Speaker 3: with you.
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 1: I'm done. I think I'm taking a year off of
• 1:40:28
  Speaker 1: the road, and I want to think more before I talk.
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 1: You ever get to the place where you're talking so much,
• 1:40:36
  Speaker 1: you're not putting thought into anything?
• 1:40:38
  Speaker 3: Every day.
• 1:40:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right? I've been podcasting straight, every week straight for
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 1: like 15 years, which is crazy. And I think this...
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 1: it gets convoluted with standup. And I think it's, I
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 1: don't know if it's made my standup better. I think
• 1:40:55
  Speaker 1: earlier on it did, but when I did this special,
• 1:40:58
  Speaker 1: I was like, I just shot, I just shot it in,
• 1:41:01
  Speaker 1: in Florida recently comes out soon. I can't say yet, but, uh,
• 1:41:09
  Speaker 1: I was like, this is the, this is the best
• 1:41:11
  Speaker 1: one I've done. And I was like, and I, I can't,
• 1:41:14
  Speaker 1: I can't think to do, and I got to do
• 1:41:15
  Speaker 1: another one. I have another one due in like a
• 1:41:17
  Speaker 1: year or two. I was like, I need to take
• 1:41:18
  Speaker 1: time off and like live a life. Like I need
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 1: to live on. My girls are both in college. I
• 1:41:22
  Speaker 1: don't have them to write about anymore. That was just
• 1:41:24
  Speaker 1: such a fucking, uh, well to go to is those
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 1: fucking idiots were so funny. They were so fucking funny. And, uh,
• 1:41:33
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I need to take time off.
• 1:41:35
  Speaker 1: I need to stop. And then, and I started thinking
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 1: about podcasting. I was like, you know, I got so
• 1:41:38
  Speaker 1: many podcasts and it's weird with comic is like, if
• 1:41:40
  Speaker 1: I say something funny, sometimes I'll say, Hey, can you
• 1:41:43
  Speaker 1: take that out? I'm going to put it on stage.
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 1: And then I was like, I should take all my
• 1:41:46
  Speaker 1: funny thoughts and really start writing them down. So I've been,
• 1:41:49
  Speaker 1: I've never done this before, but I'm like, anytime I
• 1:41:51
  Speaker 1: have a good thought, I write it down and I
• 1:41:52
  Speaker 1: try to explore it and write it out. I just
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 1: would work it out on stage. So I'm like, I
• 1:41:56
  Speaker 1: was laying in bed today. I was like, I'm doing
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 1: this podcast. I think this is the last one I'm
• 1:41:59
  Speaker 1: going to do for a year. And I was like,
• 1:42:01
  Speaker 1: I don't think I'm going to do anyone else's podcast.
• 1:42:03
  Speaker 1: Like not even Rogan's, you know. What about your own?
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 1: I was, I gotta be honest with you. I was
• 1:42:11
  Speaker 1: toying with the idea of getting rid of mine.
• 1:42:13
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 1:42:13
  Speaker 1: I was trying to get rid of everything.
• 1:42:16
  Speaker 3: The Burt cast?
• 1:42:16
  Speaker 1: Everything. But here's the problem is I love, like I
• 1:42:22
  Speaker 1: love Two Bears. Two Bears is, I'll do that for
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 1: the rest of my life. I love it. It's a
• 1:42:26
  Speaker 1: very light lift because of who I do it with.
• 1:42:29
  Speaker 1: Burt cast sometimes can be a pain in the ass.
• 1:42:32
  Speaker 1: And then sometimes it's just a gift. Like I sat
• 1:42:35
  Speaker 1: with Juvenile the other day. Like I fucking was obsessed
• 1:42:38
  Speaker 1: with Juvenile. And then I sat and me, him and
• 1:42:40
  Speaker 1: Manny Fresh smoked weed and drank vodka. And I fucking
• 1:42:44
  Speaker 1: laughed forever, forever. And then I got to do it
• 1:42:48
  Speaker 1: with Maynard Keenan, Maynard James Keenan, the lead singer at Tool.
• 1:42:53
  Speaker 1: It's a gift. I'm not going to get opportunities like
• 1:42:55
  Speaker 1: that unless I have that podcast. So that's the only
• 1:42:58
  Speaker 1: reason I don't want to get rid of it is
• 1:42:59
  Speaker 1: just it's selfish. I mean, yes, I make money from it,
• 1:43:02
  Speaker 1: but it's selfish that I get to sit with these
• 1:43:04
  Speaker 1: people that I fucking idolize because, like, Jimmy Kimmel comes
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 1: over or fucking– Judd Apatow and I get to pick
• 1:43:10
  Speaker 1: their brains. Fucking, that's the only reason I wouldn't get
• 1:43:13
  Speaker 1: rid of it. But I would, I do think there's
• 1:43:15
  Speaker 1: something to be said when I look at like, when
• 1:43:18
  Speaker 1: I look at like Stavi and DeStefano and that generation
• 1:43:23
  Speaker 1: of comics, those are guys that are cool with walking
• 1:43:25
  Speaker 1: away from everything. I know I'm, God, I fucking love
• 1:43:29
  Speaker 1: that guy. But like, you know, I wish I had
• 1:43:31
  Speaker 1: the balls to do more of that, but I don't.
• 1:43:33
  Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, I'm like, so yeah. So
• 1:43:37
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to do other people's podcasts for a
• 1:43:39
  Speaker 1: year and I'm not going to do stand up for
• 1:43:41
  Speaker 1: a year and, uh, take some like big trips and, uh, go,
• 1:43:47
  Speaker 1: we've been seeing a lot of shows lately, like going
• 1:43:49
  Speaker 1: to do see music. I'm thinking about staying here, uh,
• 1:43:52
  Speaker 1: an extra day and going to see goose. Have you
• 1:43:54
  Speaker 1: ever seen goose?
• 1:43:55
  Speaker 3: I haven't even heard of goose.
• 1:43:56
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. It's my favorite band. They're in Nashville.
• 1:43:58
  Speaker 1: They're in, they're in Thursday. I might, I might stay
• 1:44:00
  Speaker 1: in town. If I stay in town, I'm bringing you
• 1:44:02
  Speaker 1: guys to goose. It's fucking insane.
• 1:44:04
  Speaker 3: All right. Yeah.
• 1:44:04
  Speaker 1: But I'm seeing music and then, uh, yeah. I don't know.
• 1:44:07
  Speaker 2: Sounds like a little stoicism in your life, the ability
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 2: to say no.
• 1:44:10
  Speaker 1: No. I don't believe in that shit.
• 1:44:11
  Speaker 3: I'm stepping out of the light.
• 1:44:12
  Speaker 1: You know, he's cool as fuck too. He hit me up.
• 1:44:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:44:15
  Speaker 1: He hit me up and he was like, you know,
• 1:44:16
  Speaker 1: he said, I wish I could call him because you
• 1:44:19
  Speaker 1: know he backed me up privately. In what way?
• 1:44:22
  Speaker 2: Who's this, Holiday?
• 1:44:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Ryan Holiday.
• 1:44:24
  Speaker 2: Holiday backed you up on saying, I don't believe.
• 1:44:27
  Speaker 1: No, he said, I know what you're trying to say.
• 1:44:29
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:44:29
  Speaker 1: He goes, I know what you're trying to say.
• 1:44:30
  Speaker 3: That's a big difference then.
• 1:44:31
  Speaker 1: Because I understand what you're trying to say. He was like,
• 1:44:34
  Speaker 1: there's wallflower stoics. that don't really believe in it, but
• 1:44:37
  Speaker 1: they quote it like it's, he goes, I know what
• 1:44:39
  Speaker 1: you were trying to say, but he goes, here, can
• 1:44:42
  Speaker 1: I send you some books? And I was like, please.
• 1:44:44
  Speaker 1: I think Ron, Ryan Holiday is a badass motherfucker.
• 1:44:46
  Speaker 3: Dude, he is, bro.
• 1:44:46
  Speaker 1: He's a badass.
• 1:44:47
  Speaker 3: I would love to have him on the show.
• 1:44:48
  Speaker 1: But here's, here's the other thing, is if you're a comic,
• 1:44:50
  Speaker 1: why not, why not challenge everything? Like, immediately I go stoicism.
• 1:44:55
  Speaker 1: Everyone's fucking, the second everyone believes in it, come on.
• 1:44:58
  Speaker 3: The second everyone, but everybody does it.
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not me. Ryan Holiday is a cool motherfucker. I
• 1:45:05
  Speaker 1: want to read exactly what he said. But you know
• 1:45:07
  Speaker 1: what's so funny is.
• 1:45:08
  Speaker 3: We'd love to have you on too, Ryan. If you
• 1:45:09
  Speaker 3: happen to be watching this, we would love to.
• 1:45:10
  Speaker 1: Have you on. So I got... I'm going to... Well,
• 1:45:12
  Speaker 1: I'll wrap this up soon. I know you guys probably
• 1:45:14
  Speaker 1: should leave. But we got invited to a party. And
• 1:45:19
  Speaker 1: it's the craziest party I've ever been to. Everyone's there.
• 1:45:22
  Speaker 1: Diddy's house?
• 1:45:23
  Speaker 3: No.
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 1: At who's?
• 1:45:25
  Speaker 3: Diddy? Diddy.
• 1:45:26
  Speaker 1: No. By the way, do you think you would have...
• 1:45:29
  Speaker 1: Do you think... When we talk about the coward in
• 1:45:33
  Speaker 1: us is close, right?
• 1:45:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:45:35
  Speaker 1: Do you think you could have gone to Diddy's party
• 1:45:36
  Speaker 1: and not been a part of it?
• 1:45:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely.
• 1:45:40
  Speaker 1: Okay. Do you....
• 1:45:48
  Speaker 2: Were you ever invited to a ditty party?
• 1:45:51
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no. Never. No, but I've always, I've done,
• 1:45:54
  Speaker 1: I've done, I've gone, I've gone out to eat with
• 1:45:58
  Speaker 1: men that I thought were gay. Like every guy that
• 1:46:01
  Speaker 1: ever in Hollywood I thought wanted to fuck me.
• 1:46:04
  Speaker 3: Everyone.
• 1:46:05
  Speaker 1: Elliot Gould. I thought he wanted to fuck me. He
• 1:46:07
  Speaker 1: was like, let me give you my number. We'll go
• 1:46:09
  Speaker 1: out to dinner sometime. And I was like, cool. He
• 1:46:11
  Speaker 1: wants to fuck me. I always expected anyone.
• 1:46:14
  Speaker 3: Will Smith.
• 1:46:15
  Speaker 1: You know, I thought Will Smith wanted to fuck me
• 1:46:17
  Speaker 1: in the ass. yeah oh you ever heard that story
• 1:46:20
  Speaker 1: no no again is this legit swear to god so
• 1:46:25
  Speaker 1: will smith i'm 26 one of his boys sees me
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 1: do stand-up like yo will would like you can i
• 1:46:34
  Speaker 1: you know maybe do a deal i said great so
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 1: like let me introduce you so i go to the
• 1:46:39
  Speaker 1: hit factory i think is where he was recording his
• 1:46:40
  Speaker 1: album millennium and uh I meet him in the dance
• 1:46:45
  Speaker 1: studio to dance studio, like two folding chairs. And we
• 1:46:48
  Speaker 1: sit and we talk and I'm like, dude, I love
• 1:46:51
  Speaker 1: hip hop. I love, you know, I'm like trying to
• 1:46:53
  Speaker 1: sell them because I want to do a deal with him.
• 1:46:54
  Speaker 1: And he's, and I'm like, I love black guys. You're black.
• 1:46:56
  Speaker 1: Like I'm fucking, you know, just everything.
• 1:46:58
  Speaker 2: Hell of a selling point.
• 1:46:59
  Speaker 1: Juvie was big then. So I was like talking about
• 1:47:01
  Speaker 1: juvenile and meeting fresh and everything. And so he's like, cool, man.
• 1:47:05
  Speaker 1: He was like, uh, he's like, what are you doing tonight?
• 1:47:08
  Speaker 1: I was like, nothing. He was like, let's go to
• 1:47:10
  Speaker 1: the movies. I was like, okay. So I leave. I
• 1:47:13
  Speaker 1: remember calling my dad, and he was like, how'd it go?
• 1:47:14
  Speaker 1: I said, good. We're going to the movies. My dad's like,
• 1:47:16
  Speaker 1: on a date? I go, no. He's like, what do
• 1:47:18
  Speaker 1: you mean? You're going to the fucking movies with him.
• 1:47:20
  Speaker 1: I go, I don't know. He said he wanted to
• 1:47:21
  Speaker 1: go to the movies, and so we're going to the movies.
• 1:47:23
  Speaker 1: My dad's like, oh, buddy, I'm sorry. I was like, what?
• 1:47:26
  Speaker 1: And he goes, this is, they call it the casting couch.
• 1:47:29
  Speaker 1: In Hollywood, these men, they're so tired of having sex
• 1:47:34
  Speaker 1: with women that the only thing that really turns them
• 1:47:36
  Speaker 1: on is to fuck young guys and to turn them out.
• 1:47:39
  Speaker 1: It's called the casting couch. I was like, dad, that's impossible.
• 1:47:42
  Speaker 1: He goes, what's more possible? The fact that you're so
• 1:47:46
  Speaker 1: talented that within doing stand-up for six months, the biggest
• 1:47:51
  Speaker 1: movie star in the world wants to do a TV
• 1:47:52
  Speaker 1: show about you or that he's tired of pussy and
• 1:47:54
  Speaker 1: he wants to fuck you. I was like, oh my God,
• 1:47:55
  Speaker 1: I'm getting fucked. And he goes, what do I do?
• 1:47:58
  Speaker 1: And he goes, no, I'm just, I'm giving you a
• 1:48:00
  Speaker 1: heads up. Like, go, but.
• 1:48:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, your dad's like, essentially you're going to get, you're
• 1:48:05
  Speaker 2: going to catch hands and that's okay.
• 1:48:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:48:07
  Speaker 1: He's like, just, I'm giving you a heads up. That's
• 1:48:08
  Speaker 1: why he's bringing you there. But you know, I'm just
• 1:48:10
  Speaker 1: don't want my only son going in, not knowing what
• 1:48:12
  Speaker 1: he's ready for. So I go, we were supposed to
• 1:48:14
  Speaker 1: do it at Planet Hollywood, which even still sounds weird
• 1:48:17
  Speaker 1: to see a movie at Planet Hollywood. I go in.
• 1:48:19
  Speaker 1: I'm like, is Will Smith here? And they're like, no.
• 1:48:20
  Speaker 1: Movie stars don't hang out here. So I'm sitting in
• 1:48:22
  Speaker 1: the lobby going like, what the fuck? And then this dude,
• 1:48:25
  Speaker 1: probably 6'7, comes out of a corner. His name's Charlie Mack.
• 1:48:28
  Speaker 1: And he goes, you Burt? And I was like, yeah.
• 1:48:30
  Speaker 1: And he goes, downstairs. I was like, motherfucker. I'm going
• 1:48:34
  Speaker 1: to have to fuck this guy too. Like, he's 6'7.
• 1:48:36
  Speaker 1: I know who Charlie Mack is too. He's got a
• 1:48:39
  Speaker 1: song about him. I go downstairs, there's 10 black dudes
• 1:48:42
  Speaker 1: sitting in a room, like probably a little bit bigger
• 1:48:44
  Speaker 1: than this bus with a curtain and a folding table
• 1:48:45
  Speaker 1: in the center. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm
• 1:48:48
  Speaker 1: going to fuck these 10 black guys. Charlie Mack, I'm
• 1:48:50
  Speaker 1: sure he's bringing Jazzy Jeff. Plus that's 13 dudes I'm
• 1:48:53
  Speaker 1: going to have to fuck tonight. I'm like, this is getting,
• 1:48:55
  Speaker 1: scenario's getting worse. Will Smith comes in with, I swear
• 1:48:58
  Speaker 1: to God, Jazzy Jeff. I swear to God. He walks
• 1:49:01
  Speaker 1: in with Jazzy Jeff. And he's like, he's like, guys,
• 1:49:05
  Speaker 1: this is the guy. And everyone looks at me and
• 1:49:06
  Speaker 1: they're like, yeah. And they're like, this is Bert. I
• 1:49:08
  Speaker 1: was like, oh my God. This is how it goes down.
• 1:49:10
  Speaker 1: And then the curtains.
• 1:49:11
  Speaker 3: And you're probably thinking, there's no way I can get
• 1:49:12
  Speaker 3: away from these guys.
• 1:49:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, just.
• 1:49:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, the door's locked.
• 1:49:15
  Speaker 3: The door's locked.
• 1:49:16
  Speaker 1: It's down a flight of stairs. It's down a flight
• 1:49:17
  Speaker 1: of stairs in a small room. Red curtains all around it.
• 1:49:20
  Speaker 1: Folding table in the center. I'm like, it's going down
• 1:49:22
  Speaker 1: right now. Curtains open up to reveal a private movie theater.
• 1:49:26
  Speaker 1: And me and 10, 13 black dudes watch American Pie.
• 1:49:31
  Speaker 1: I sat next to Will the whole time. Me, him,
• 1:49:33
  Speaker 1: and Jazzy Jeff. Laughed hysterically. And at the end of
• 1:49:35
  Speaker 1: the movie, I go... He was like, hey, what did
• 1:49:38
  Speaker 1: you think? And I was like, what do you mean?
• 1:49:40
  Speaker 1: What did I think? I said, it was a good movie.
• 1:49:41
  Speaker 1: He goes, no, about the room. Like, what do you mean?
• 1:49:43
  Speaker 1: He's like, the guys. I was like, I don't know.
• 1:49:46
  Speaker 1: They're black dudes? And he goes, no, you said you
• 1:49:49
  Speaker 1: were a hip hop fan. He's like, that's Biz Markie.
• 1:49:52
  Speaker 1: That's Kool Moe D. That's Big Daddy Kane. He's like,
• 1:49:54
  Speaker 1: I brought all the legends so you could meet them.
• 1:49:56
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I could have fucked Kool Moe D.
• 1:50:00
  Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.
• 1:50:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I fucking. So how did that end? That was it.
• 1:50:05
  Speaker 1: I did the deal with him. I saw his dick
• 1:50:07
  Speaker 1: like a week later. At ABC. It's a hog.
• 1:50:10
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 1:50:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a hog.
• 1:50:11
  Speaker 3: Good for him, man.
• 1:50:12
  Speaker 1: He was pissing next to me. We went into ABC
• 1:50:15
  Speaker 1: to sell a sitcom. Jamie Tarsus, I think, who's passed away.
• 1:50:18
  Speaker 1: She was running ABC at the time. And I had
• 1:50:20
  Speaker 1: to piss really bad. I went into the bathroom to
• 1:50:21
  Speaker 1: take a piss. And Will goes, I'm going to come
• 1:50:23
  Speaker 1: with you. I got to piss too. And he sat
• 1:50:24
  Speaker 1: right next to me. Stood right next to me. Started pissing.
• 1:50:26
  Speaker 1: And his... You know how you can hear someone's stream
• 1:50:29
  Speaker 1: and know their dick's big? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. His
• 1:50:31
  Speaker 1: was like a fucking fire hose.
• 1:50:33
  Speaker 3: Nice.
• 1:50:34
  Speaker 1: You heard German shepherds barking. Like, it was fucking wild.
• 1:50:37
  Speaker 1: And he gave me the keys to the business. He
• 1:50:39
  Speaker 1: was like, this is how... This is everything you need
• 1:50:41
  Speaker 1: to know in Hollywood. This is the short... And I
• 1:50:43
  Speaker 1: couldn't hear any of it because I had to piss.
• 1:50:45
  Speaker 1: I just... And I couldn't piss. I was gun shy.
• 1:50:48
  Speaker 1: And I just sat there trying to piss, trying to piss,
• 1:50:49
  Speaker 1: trying to piss. And he was done. And then he
• 1:50:51
  Speaker 1: walked over. And all I heard him say, right as
• 1:50:53
  Speaker 1: I started to piss, he goes... just be yourself. That's
• 1:50:56
  Speaker 1: all I heard out of the whole thing. Yeah. He was,
• 1:50:58
  Speaker 1: I liked Will. I had a great time with him, but.
• 1:51:01
  Speaker 3: You had me on the edge of my seat thinking
• 1:51:02
  Speaker 3: something was about to go down.
• 1:51:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:51:03
  Speaker 2: I thought this was going to be the podcast you told.
• 1:51:07
  Speaker 1: No, no. I thought Ellie wanted to fuck me too.
• 1:51:09
  Speaker 1: And he just took me to dinner. Really? Yeah.
• 1:51:11
  Speaker 2: So it sounds like everybody in LA is actually nice.
• 1:51:13
  Speaker 1: Everyone in LA is really good. Yeah. Not a lot
• 1:51:15
  Speaker 1: of pedophiles. I haven't met a pedophile.
• 1:51:17
  Speaker 2: That you know of.
• 1:51:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Not yet. Right. Like these lists haven't came out yet.
• 1:51:22
  Speaker 3: Did you ever meet him?
• 1:51:23
  Speaker 1: Talk to him? No. So what are they saying he did?
• 1:51:25
  Speaker 1: Because I definitely would have gotten into a sex party.
• 1:51:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Those things. Pedophilia. Little sex rings.
• 1:51:33
  Speaker 1: Pedophilia.
• 1:51:34
  Speaker 3: Have you heard the audios that have came out?
• 1:51:37
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:51:37
  Speaker 3: Apparently of him fucking dudes.
• 1:51:39
  Speaker 1: Hard grunting.
• 1:51:40
  Speaker 3: He fucking made milk?
• 1:51:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:51:42
  Speaker 2: And this is all allegedly.
• 1:51:43
  Speaker 3: We don't want to get sued. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly.
• 1:51:47
  Speaker 1: 50 Cent. You ever see the clip of 50 Cent?
• 1:51:50
  Speaker 3: Was it Bad Bunny or something like that?
• 1:51:51
  Speaker 2: You see the comment 50 Cent put on P. Diddy's
• 1:51:54
  Speaker 2: when he was riding a bicycle?
• 1:51:55
  Speaker 3: No.
• 1:51:56
  Speaker 2: So he comments on the... It's like P. Diddy's on
• 1:51:59
  Speaker 2: a bicycle.
• 1:52:00
  Speaker 1: He's smiling. He goes.
• 1:52:00
  Speaker 2: 50 Cent goes, the only reason why P. Diddy's smiling
• 1:52:03
  Speaker 2: is there's no seat on that bicycle.
• 1:52:05
  Speaker 3: Like he.
• 1:52:06
  Speaker 2: Apparently 50 Cent's known about it for a while.
• 1:52:08
  Speaker 1: Uh... Did you ever see the clip on Drink Champs?
• 1:52:11
  Speaker 3: Put it like this. It's very dark. It's very bad. P.
• 1:52:14
  Speaker 1: Diddy said 50 Cent. You got to find the clip.
• 1:52:17
  Speaker 1: It's one of the hardest I've ever laughed. P. Diddy
• 1:52:20
  Speaker 1: was like, yo, man, to 50, he's like, you want
• 1:52:22
  Speaker 1: to hang out? I'll take you shopping. You don't have
• 1:52:25
  Speaker 1: to buy anything. I'll pay for it. Right. 50 Cent's like, what?
• 1:52:28
  Speaker 2: What the fuck are we talking about here?
• 1:52:30
  Speaker 1: Dude, you guys got to do Drink Champs. Have you
• 1:52:32
  Speaker 1: ever watched Drink Champs?
• 1:52:34
  Speaker 2: No, what's that?
• 1:52:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, shut the fuck up. Dude, it is fucking amazing.
• 1:52:40
  Speaker 2: What's Drink Champs?
• 1:52:41
  Speaker 1: It's out of Miami. It's Nori and DJ FN. And
• 1:52:46
  Speaker 1: they fucking... You just drink with them. And they talk...
• 1:52:50
  Speaker 1: It's such a great interview. But if you're into hip-hop,
• 1:52:52
  Speaker 1: the interviews they have are fucking insane. DMX interviews are
• 1:52:56
  Speaker 1: the best interviews on here. The DMX ones are insane.
• 1:53:00
  Speaker 1: I did it because I'm a huge hip-hop fan. But
• 1:53:03
  Speaker 1: I'm friends with Nori. Nori's... nor he's a badass motherfucker
• 1:53:07
  Speaker 1: he gets after it and he's like running a ton
• 1:53:09
  Speaker 1: right now him we were gonna have him hopefully come
• 1:53:12
  Speaker 1: out and do maybe the next 5k we do but
• 1:53:14
  Speaker 1: he's like they're awesome dude drink champs is fucking awesome
• 1:53:17
  Speaker 1: but their interviews are wild I would be down. That's
• 1:53:20
  Speaker 1: what we got right there. The Diddy ones?
• 1:53:21
  Speaker 2: I don't know anything about hip hop at all.
• 1:53:23
  Speaker 1: At all?
• 1:53:24
  Speaker 2: No, I'm like a Blink-182, Good Charlotte, Sum 41 guy.
• 1:53:28
  Speaker 2: I'm a late 90s, early 2000s, stuck there. That would
• 1:53:29
  Speaker 2: explain your shoes.
• 1:53:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:53:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not these ones today, but the ones I usually
• 1:53:34
  Speaker 1: wear every day. How about country music? Love it. Red
• 1:53:36
  Speaker 1: Clay Strays?
• 1:53:37
  Speaker 2: Love them.
• 1:53:38
  Speaker 1: Marcus King?
• 1:53:39
  Speaker 2: Marcus King.
• 1:53:40
  Speaker 3: Marcus King band. Yes, bro.
• 1:53:42
  Speaker 2: Pull one of their songs up.
• 1:53:43
  Speaker 3: Goodbye Carolina?
• 1:53:45
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. Delilah. Marcus King's new album, Delilah. That
• 1:53:49
  Speaker 1: song Marcus King. You would love it. I did a
• 1:53:53
  Speaker 1: crazy interview with Marcus that I got a lot of
• 1:53:55
  Speaker 1: shit for.
• 1:53:56
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 1:53:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, why? I understand it. I joke about alcoholism. I
• 1:54:02
  Speaker 1: joke about it.
• 1:54:03
  Speaker 2: You don't believe in it.
• 1:54:03
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 1:54:05
  Speaker 2: I don't. I don't.
• 1:54:06
  Speaker 1: I don't. Here's the deal. If you have an eating disorder,
• 1:54:09
  Speaker 1: they don't tell you, don't worry, no food for you
• 1:54:11
  Speaker 1: for the rest of your life. You have to figure
• 1:54:12
  Speaker 1: out a way to manage it. Right. I think that
• 1:54:15
  Speaker 1: we can do the same. Anyway, here's my point. So
• 1:54:17
  Speaker 1: Marcus comes over to my house. I apologize, Marcus, if
• 1:54:20
  Speaker 1: I'm oversharing. But he comes over, and I wasn't drinking
• 1:54:24
  Speaker 1: at the time. I was just on one of those
• 1:54:26
  Speaker 1: benders where I wasn't drinking. And he comes over, and
• 1:54:28
  Speaker 1: he was like, I was like, hey, what's up? He's like,
• 1:54:32
  Speaker 1: I had a rough night last night. I said, okay,
• 1:54:34
  Speaker 1: can I get you something? I got every soda you
• 1:54:35
  Speaker 1: could ever imagine. He goes, I fell off the wagon
• 1:54:37
  Speaker 1: last night. And I said, okay. I said, how long?
• 1:54:39
  Speaker 1: He's like, a couple years, I think. I was like, oof.
• 1:54:43
  Speaker 1: I said, well, what are you looking for? And he said,
• 1:54:44
  Speaker 1: I'm looking for something to maybe get me through the day.
• 1:54:47
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I'm in there. I'll do it
• 1:54:49
  Speaker 1: with you. Like I'm, I'll fucking, if you're having a moment,
• 1:54:51
  Speaker 1: I'll have a moment with you. I don't give a fuck.
• 1:54:53
  Speaker 1: So we did a very drunken podcast where he had
• 1:54:56
  Speaker 1: fallen off the wagon.
• 1:54:57
  Speaker 3: This is the guy?
• 1:54:58
  Speaker 1: That's Marcus.
• 1:54:59
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay.
• 1:54:59
  Speaker 2: Yes. I have seen this guy before. He's extremely talented.
• 1:55:03
  Speaker 1: He's, I would argue he's a prodigy. I mean, he's
• 1:55:06
  Speaker 1: fucking the best, but you know, guy likes to get
• 1:55:10
  Speaker 1: loose every now and then. And right now he's sober.
• 1:55:11
  Speaker 1: I think he's sober right now, but the day he
• 1:55:13
  Speaker 1: came over, he fell off the wagon and I just wasn't,
• 1:55:16
  Speaker 1: I'm not the guy that's going to go, Hey man.
• 1:55:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not that guy. I'm the guy
• 1:55:22
  Speaker 1: that goes, yeah, I'll drink with you. So we got hammered.
• 1:55:24
  Speaker 1: We talked about him falling off the wagon. We talked
• 1:55:27
  Speaker 1: about his wife wasn't talking to him at the time
• 1:55:29
  Speaker 1: because he had fallen off the wagon. And so many
• 1:55:31
  Speaker 1: people have so many fucking opinions of how they should have,
• 1:55:34
  Speaker 1: how I should have dealt with that. And I was like, no, man,
• 1:55:35
  Speaker 1: I'm your friend. If something goes down, I'm just going
• 1:55:38
  Speaker 1: to stand next to you and not ask questions. I'm
• 1:55:41
  Speaker 1: not going to make it a more difficult day for you.
• 1:55:43
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be your boy. And so we've, we've stayed,
• 1:55:46
  Speaker 1: we've stayed close. He came out and he ended up
• 1:55:47
  Speaker 1: doing fully loaded with us. Sober, sober, didn't drink. We
• 1:55:50
  Speaker 1: did Floribama. We went out to the Floribama bar, got
• 1:55:53
  Speaker 1: on stage together. I was fucking lit. But he didn't drink.
• 1:55:55
  Speaker 1: He was being healthy. I love that guy to death, man.
• 1:55:58
  Speaker 3: He's a legend, bro.
• 1:55:59
  Speaker 1: He is fucking epic.
• 1:56:00
  Speaker 2: I've got to listen to some of his music. I've
• 1:56:01
  Speaker 2: seen some of his clips, but I have not dove
• 1:56:04
  Speaker 2: into his music just yet. Do we want to hit
• 1:56:06
  Speaker 2: a twisted question before we let Mr.
• 1:56:08
  Speaker 3: Coach go? I'm so sorry. My bladder is so small.
• 1:56:10
  Speaker 1: I have to pee. Go pee.
• 1:56:11
  Speaker 2: This is the third pee. How long has this podcast
• 1:56:13
  Speaker 2: been going on?
• 1:56:13
  Speaker 3: Hour 50. Oh, that's nothing, guys.
• 1:56:17
  Speaker 2: This is one of the shorter ones.
• 1:56:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Guys, I got another hour in me. Get me
• 1:56:20
  Speaker 1: another twisted tea. There you go.
• 1:56:21
  Speaker 3: Get him a tweet. Get him a tweet right now.
• 1:56:24
  Speaker 1: Let's really start breaking down things.
• 1:56:26
  Speaker 2: So you texted us about possibly doing some hurricane relief,
• 1:56:29
  Speaker 2: and then you.
• 1:56:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:56:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:56:31
  Speaker 1: So I'm doing it in Tampa instead. Okay. So it was...
• 1:56:34
  Speaker 1: I don't want to shit on the relief people, the
• 1:56:39
  Speaker 1: different ones.
• 1:56:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:56:40
  Speaker 2: Hey, Sheriff, grab me a water, too, please. Go ahead.
• 1:56:41
  Speaker 1: But... I was going to do one tonight at the Ryman,
• 1:56:48
  Speaker 1: and I'm just going anyway. I'm just going. Yeah?
• 1:56:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:56:53
  Speaker 2: And just doing stuff there?
• 1:56:54
  Speaker 1: I'm doing stuff. You know, it gets really tricky. What
• 1:56:58
  Speaker 1: the fuck? Tall boy. Oh, my God. It gets really
• 1:57:03
  Speaker 1: tricky giving money. I've gotten fucked a number of times.
• 1:57:06
  Speaker 2: It's tough to give money, especially when you don't know
• 1:57:08
  Speaker 2: where it's going.
• 1:57:09
  Speaker 1: So I'll tell you that this, I mean, I wish
• 1:57:12
  Speaker 1: it wasn't. So I did something for the Bucs, right?
• 1:57:17
  Speaker 1: The Bucs were trying to build a house for Habitat
• 1:57:19
  Speaker 1: for Humanity. They needed like $ 100, 000. I'm with Doug Williams, right?
• 1:57:25
  Speaker 1: Epic quarterback for the Bucs. I'm with Doug Williams. I
• 1:57:28
  Speaker 1: do a video. I go, all we're asking is for $ 2. 46.
• 1:57:30
  Speaker 1: I'm Burt Kreischer. I'm donating $ 2, 046. I'm with Doug Williams.
• 1:57:32
  Speaker 1: Just put it in. $ 2. 46. And I get destroyed online.
• 1:57:41
  Speaker 1: I'm oblivious to it because I'm not reading comments. Tommy
• 1:57:43
  Speaker 1: comes to me and he's like, dude, you look like
• 1:57:45
  Speaker 1: a fucking ass. You're asking everyone to donate $ 2. You
• 1:57:48
  Speaker 1: donated $ 2, 000. He's like, the comment online is, Bert, you
• 1:57:51
  Speaker 1: could have just bought the house yourself. I was like, yeah,
• 1:57:53
  Speaker 1: but that's not how charity works. It's like we group
• 1:57:57
  Speaker 1: fund things.
• 1:57:58
  Speaker 2: Right, right, right.
• 1:57:59
  Speaker 1: I ended up buying a house. I had to buy
• 1:58:01
  Speaker 1: a house.
• 1:58:01
  Speaker 2: Out of guilt.
• 1:58:02
  Speaker 1: $ 100, 000. I bought a fucking house for Habitat for Humanity.
• 1:58:05
  Speaker 1: Tom bought a house too. We both bought houses. And
• 1:58:08
  Speaker 1: so I'm like, I'm like, I'm never going to fucking
• 1:58:10
  Speaker 1: anyone again because it comes back to me yeah and
• 1:58:12
  Speaker 1: then it's like it's like i was like i was
• 1:58:13
  Speaker 1: like also two thousand dollars is like a solid why
• 1:58:16
  Speaker 1: can't you just donate two thousand dollars so so then
• 1:58:19
  Speaker 1: i learned you just you cannot try to get credit
• 1:58:22
  Speaker 1: for helping people no you got to do it silently.
• 1:58:25
  Speaker 2: Right So that's where- JPU's on the bus. He's big
• 1:58:28
  Speaker 2: on that. Like, if you're going to do something for somebody,
• 1:58:31
  Speaker 2: you don't want to do it at all in the
• 1:58:33
  Speaker 2: public eye.
• 1:58:34
  Speaker 1: Dude, I did- I'm the kind of guy that if
• 1:58:37
  Speaker 1: I send- if I give you money for GoFundMe, like,
• 1:58:40
  Speaker 1: I put my name on it.
• 1:58:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:58:42
  Speaker 1: And I donate the most so that I'm at the
• 1:58:44
  Speaker 1: top of the list. Just to win. Oh, yeah. I fucking-
• 1:58:47
  Speaker 1: I've dropped- $ 10, 000 a number of times into GoFundMes just
• 1:58:51
  Speaker 1: to see my name above everyone else's.
• 1:58:54
  Speaker 3: Some of the GoFundMes out there, man. There's a buddy
• 1:58:56
  Speaker 3: of mine who did a GoFundMe for surgery on his dog.
• 1:59:00
  Speaker 3: That's where I draw the line. I believe I know
• 1:59:03
  Speaker 3: this person, too. Yeah, like that.
• 1:59:05
  Speaker 2: He was doing well.
• 1:59:07
  Speaker 3: He does well.
• 1:59:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, does well.
• 1:59:09
  Speaker 4: It's not like he's just living in a cardboard box.
• 1:59:11
  Speaker 2: He's like, my dog has to get brain surgery. Please
• 1:59:13
  Speaker 2: help fund this.
• 1:59:14
  Speaker 3: Oh cancer family emergency like it's stuff like obviously but
• 1:59:19
  Speaker 3: you're talking about surgery for a dog like yeah you
• 1:59:22
  Speaker 3: gotta have a line somewhere you know it's.
• 1:59:24
  Speaker 1: Uh oh i'm done i'm done trying to help because
• 1:59:27
  Speaker 1: i go i'll help you and you'll never know about
• 1:59:29
  Speaker 1: it like i'm doing a show in tampa and i'm
• 1:59:32
  Speaker 1: giving the proceeds to whatchamacallit and then obviously we will
• 1:59:35
  Speaker 1: donate money it'll be silent you won't know how much
• 1:59:38
  Speaker 1: went right but but you just can't you can't Like,
• 1:59:42
  Speaker 1: I was going to try to do something here, and
• 1:59:43
  Speaker 1: then all of a sudden it just got so convoluted.
• 1:59:45
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm out. I don't even want
• 1:59:47
  Speaker 1: to be associated with it. Because the second you say,
• 1:59:49
  Speaker 1: I'd like to do something, all of a sudden everyone
• 1:59:51
  Speaker 1: just attacks you. I mean, the fucking fires in Maui. Like,
• 1:59:54
  Speaker 1: I was... Dude, look at my fucking phone. All it
• 1:59:59
  Speaker 1: is is people Venmoing me asking for $ 1, 000. And one
• 2:00:03
  Speaker 1: chick's hot as fuck. Dude, she's like a single mom.
• 2:00:11
  Speaker 1: look i want you to see her she is fucking
• 2:00:13
  Speaker 1: smoking venmo god damn it do you guys have have
• 2:00:18
  Speaker 1: you guys have to wear readers yet.
• 2:00:19
  Speaker 2: Dude my eyes are so bad i need to i
• 2:00:21
  Speaker 2: need to get on that train maybe a little lasik.
• 2:00:25
  Speaker 1: Justine adams yeah.
• 2:00:29
  Speaker 5: Looks like she's got a good personality yeah dog lover
• 2:00:34
  Speaker 5: yeah She said, big fan, super weird request.
• 2:00:37
  Speaker 1: Just seeing if any celebrities are willing to help. Single
• 2:00:39
  Speaker 1: mom trying to recover from Helene. Having a rough time.
• 2:00:42
  Speaker 1: Never done anything like this before. Regardless, big fan. So
• 2:00:45
  Speaker 1: then I'm such a fucking lunatic. I was like, I
• 2:00:47
  Speaker 1: wonder if she follows me on Instagram. She don't even
• 2:00:49
  Speaker 1: follow me on Instagram.
• 2:00:51
  Speaker 3: Oh, really?
• 2:00:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck? I'm not going to.
• 2:00:53
  Speaker 1: Good for you.
• 2:00:53
  Speaker 3: Big fan of yours. Don't follow you. Yeah, big fan
• 2:00:56
  Speaker 3: of yours.
• 2:00:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dude.
• 2:00:57
  Speaker 2: The whole. See, here's a problem with what you just
• 2:00:59
  Speaker 2: told me about the whole giving thing is if you're
• 2:01:01
  Speaker 2: asking for two people to give $ 2. 46 and you're going
• 2:01:02
  Speaker 2: to give. $ 2, 460 or whatever. It's like, okay, yeah, you
• 2:01:09
  Speaker 2: could buy a house for Habitat for Humanity, but you're
• 2:01:11
  Speaker 2: also giving. And the gesture of just giving should be
• 2:01:15
  Speaker 2: good enough to be like, wow, good for Bert to give,
• 2:01:18
  Speaker 2: regardless if it's $ 1 or a million dollars. Like giving
• 2:01:21
  Speaker 2: and helping should be seen blanketly as great job.
• 2:01:25
  Speaker 1: So here's the thing that, okay, I'm being real right now.
• 2:01:27
  Speaker 1: And I understand this is going to get pushed back.
• 2:01:29
  Speaker 2: I've really enjoyed this episode, by the way.
• 2:01:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, dude, I'm having such a blast. I'm bummed that
• 2:01:33
  Speaker 1: this is the last one I'll ever do.
• 2:01:34
  Speaker 3: And the reason you think too, he's been on four
• 2:01:37
  Speaker 3: times because the first time we had him on, we
• 2:01:38
  Speaker 3: split it into two weeks.
• 2:01:39
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 2:01:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, for real?
• 2:01:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Because remember, the first time you came on was
• 2:01:42
  Speaker 3: like three or four hours.
• 2:01:44
  Speaker 1: No.
• 2:01:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:01:45
  Speaker 1: Dude, this is such a great hang.
• 2:01:47
  Speaker 2: But this is also the first podcast of all the
• 2:01:50
  Speaker 2: podcasts we've done, whether you doing Two Bears and at
• 2:01:53
  Speaker 2: the Super Bowl with you and Tom or the first
• 2:01:54
  Speaker 2: time you were on, where this is like the most
• 2:01:56
  Speaker 2: casual of a conversation I think the three of us
• 2:01:58
  Speaker 2: have had.
• 2:01:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:01:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's very nice.
• 2:02:00
  Speaker 3: It's very organic.
• 2:02:02
  Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Thank you. I think. What were we
• 2:02:04
  Speaker 1: just talking about? Giving.
• 2:02:06
  Speaker 3: Giving back.
• 2:02:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm going to tell you what fucking drives me nuts.
• 2:02:10
  Speaker 1: I know this is going to sound shitty.
• 2:02:11
  Speaker 3: You said you were going to be honest for a second.
• 2:02:13
  Speaker 1: So, like, okay, there's an organization. I'm not kidding. But I... Oh, man. Like,
• 2:02:20
  Speaker 1: I know I'm not going to talk about giving, but, like... Okay,
• 2:02:24
  Speaker 1: I give a fucking cuntload of money to this organization.
• 2:02:28
  Speaker 3: BLM?
• 2:02:28
  Speaker 1: No.
• 2:02:28
  Speaker 3: That's what I was thinking, too.
• 2:02:30
  Speaker 4: I was thinking the same thing.
• 2:02:33
  Speaker 1: No, it's for... It's for... trans drag queens to read
• 2:02:36
  Speaker 1: books to kids in Florida. Anyway, no. Is that a
• 2:02:41
  Speaker 1: real thing? Is that real?
• 2:02:42
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 2:02:43
  Speaker 1: People say it is. I mean, if it is real,
• 2:02:45
  Speaker 1: it's wild that they have drag queens reading books to
• 2:02:48
  Speaker 1: fucking kindergartners that can't be fucking real.
• 2:02:51
  Speaker 3: It's like frogs are gay kind of thing.
• 2:02:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:02:55
  Speaker 3: It's like, shut the fuck up.
• 2:02:56
  Speaker 1: Might as well. How great do you think it would
• 2:02:58
  Speaker 1: be if you and your boys, you're like first graders
• 2:03:00
  Speaker 1: and you're just learning how to make fun of gay people.
• 2:03:03
  Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, you're like, whoa, shut
• 2:03:06
  Speaker 1: the fuck up. Imagine if you had... Okay, anyway.
• 2:03:09
  Speaker 2: A couple of those drag queens pull it off, though.
• 2:03:11
  Speaker 1: Dude, drag queens are awesome.
• 2:03:13
  Speaker 2: I'm saying they pull it off. You look at it
• 2:03:14
  Speaker 2: and you're like, oh, she's kind of... And then they
• 2:03:16
  Speaker 2: pull the wig off. You're like, oh my God, I
• 2:03:17
  Speaker 2: had no idea.
• 2:03:19
  Speaker 1: Dude. Yeah, pull up.
• 2:03:21
  Speaker 3: You don't know what to believe anymore.
• 2:03:22
  Speaker 1: Pull up Burt Kreischer, drag queen.
• 2:03:25
  Speaker 4: Like, bro, come on.
• 2:03:26
  Speaker 1: Dude, she.
• 2:03:26
  Speaker 3: I mean, you get caught, right?
• 2:03:28
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's him?
• 2:03:29
  Speaker 1: That's him. You get caught slipping. For real, for real. Slipping.
• 2:03:33
  Speaker 1: Slipping hardcore. I would.
• 2:03:35
  Speaker 2: Thank God we're all married now.
• 2:03:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 2:03:38
  Speaker 2: Because there's different kind of bullets flying out there that would...
• 2:03:42
  Speaker 2: I know I'd get got.
• 2:03:42
  Speaker 1: I couldn't. I wouldn't.
• 2:03:45
  Speaker 2: I know Will's ass would get got. No question about it.
• 2:03:47
  Speaker 2: Little horny boy out there.
• 2:03:49
  Speaker 4: He wouldn't be able to sniff nothing out.
• 2:03:51
  Speaker 1: I follow a trans woman who's in... A trans woman, right? Yeah,
• 2:03:56
  Speaker 1: a trans woman who's in Nashville right now. Bro.
• 2:03:59
  Speaker 3: Bro.
• 2:04:00
  Speaker 1: She is so fucking hot. She is so fucking hot.
• 2:04:04
  Speaker 2: I think we might, I don't know how many trans
• 2:04:06
  Speaker 2: women are in the greater Nashville area, but my second
• 2:04:08
  Speaker 2: year in the league, I had a buddy who was
• 2:04:11
  Speaker 2: a high school friend of mine and we were out
• 2:04:13
  Speaker 2: at the bars and he was kissing.
• 2:04:16
  Speaker 1: Hold on, hang on. Are those girls or boys?
• 2:04:19
  Speaker 3: You tell me. Yeah, what's going on, Sherm?
• 2:04:21
  Speaker 1: That's girls. That's girls. I'll tell you right now. Are
• 2:04:23
  Speaker 1: you ready? I'm going to put my dick on it.
• 2:04:25
  Speaker 1: Those are girls. I'd put my dick in those mouths.
• 2:04:26
  Speaker 1: Those are girls.
• 2:04:27
  Speaker 2: Those are dudes.
• 2:04:28
  Speaker 1: Those would be trans women. Shut the fuck up.
• 2:04:31
  Speaker 2: Technically girls.
• 2:04:33
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 2:04:33
  Speaker 3: By standards.
• 2:04:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know. The next morning I'd have to go
• 2:04:35
  Speaker 1: technically girls.
• 2:04:36
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 2:04:36
  Speaker 1: The next morning I'd be like, don't worry, Bert.
• 2:04:37
  Speaker 2: It was a girl.
• 2:04:38
  Speaker 1: Technically.
• 2:04:39
  Speaker 3: But there was a guy. Those are, those were.
• 2:04:42
  Speaker 1: Come on, man. This is not fair.
• 2:04:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:04:44
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 2:04:44
  Speaker 3: I'm get out of here.
• 2:04:46
  Speaker 1: They're hotter than my wife. Yeah.
• 2:04:50
  Speaker 2: But I had a, I had a buddy. I had
• 2:04:52
  Speaker 2: a buddy who we were at the bar and he
• 2:04:53
  Speaker 2: was making out with a girl and a guy pulled
• 2:04:55
  Speaker 2: me aside. He's like, you got to tell your friend
• 2:04:56
  Speaker 2: that is not a girl. That's not a girl. That's a,
• 2:04:59
  Speaker 2: that's a, that's a guy.
• 2:05:00
  Speaker 1: Okay. Okay. So what if, okay, what if they said,
• 2:05:03
  Speaker 1: what if Trump gets elected? And he's like, all right,
• 2:05:05
  Speaker 1: new rules.
• 2:05:06
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 2:05:07
  Speaker 1: You can legally, and no, no one can get upset.
• 2:05:11
  Speaker 1: You can cheat on your girl if it's with a
• 2:05:13
  Speaker 1: trans woman. Okay. Okay.
• 2:05:17
  Speaker 2: What's the question?
• 2:05:21
  Speaker 1: Would you?
• 2:05:22
  Speaker 3: No.
• 2:05:22
  Speaker 1: Just kiss. No, no, no. You're allowed to. And your
• 2:05:24
  Speaker 1: wife can't say anything about it. She goes, no, no, no, no.
• 2:05:26
  Speaker 1: That's the law. He made it the law. They're trans.
• 2:05:29
  Speaker 2: So you want my wife to all of a sudden
• 2:05:30
  Speaker 2: just take all the laws into effect and be like, good,
• 2:05:32
  Speaker 2: I agree with them all?
• 2:05:33
  Speaker 4: They're just going to say, yeah, you're right.
• 2:05:35
  Speaker 3: Okay. Trump said it.
• 2:05:36
  Speaker 2: That's how it's going to go.
• 2:05:37
  Speaker 1: It would be fun because they look like girls.
• 2:05:39
  Speaker 3: That's AI.
• 2:05:40
  Speaker 1: That's AI. That's AI. That's not AI. That's not AI.
• 2:05:45
  Speaker 1: Is that it?
• 2:05:45
  Speaker 2: Sherm, get this. Listen, I have two daughters at home.
• 2:05:48
  Speaker 1: Victoria's Secret.
• 2:05:49
  Speaker 3: I need you to pull out of this as fast
• 2:05:51
  Speaker 3: as possible.
• 2:05:51
  Speaker 1: Openly trans.
• 2:05:52
  Speaker 4: You're not. I still see it on the screen. Hold on.
• 2:05:55
  Speaker 3: That's better. Do you want your tax dollars going towards
• 2:06:01
  Speaker 3: sex changes in prisons? Dude. Okay, we'll get to that
• 2:06:04
  Speaker 3: in a second.
• 2:06:06
  Speaker 2: Quick answer, blanket. It's like one of Mitch's twisted questions. No. Will,
• 2:06:10
  Speaker 2: do you want to answer the question?
• 2:06:12
  Speaker 3: Absolutely not.
• 2:06:13
  Speaker 2: Okay, done. Dude, we were watching.
• 2:06:15
  Speaker 1: How fun would it be if that was the law, though?
• 2:06:17
  Speaker 2: For who?
• 2:06:18
  Speaker 4: I just said no.
• 2:06:18
  Speaker 2: My life wouldn't change a bit.
• 2:06:20
  Speaker 1: No, no, but we could just... and just make out
• 2:06:22
  Speaker 1: with the trans, they're so hot.
• 2:06:23
  Speaker 3: They're so fucking hot. I love you, bro.
• 2:06:25
  Speaker 1: They do woman better than my wife, and she was
• 2:06:27
  Speaker 1: christened a woman.
• 2:06:28
  Speaker 3: Listen, listen, listen.
• 2:06:29
  Speaker 2: I fully can agree with you that there are some
• 2:06:32
  Speaker 2: trans women out there that make you go, damn.
• 2:06:34
  Speaker 3: For real?
• 2:06:34
  Speaker 1: Like, that's crazy.
• 2:06:35
  Speaker 3: And I would support you. Like, I support your alcoholism.
• 2:06:38
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 2:06:38
  Speaker 3: If you ignore it, it's not real.
• 2:06:39
  Speaker 4: If you ignore it, it's not real.
• 2:06:41
  Speaker 3: I don't believe in COVID.
• 2:06:42
  Speaker 1: I don't believe in... By the way, I've had COVID
• 2:06:44
  Speaker 1: eight times.
• 2:06:45
  Speaker 2: Dude, tell me you're from Florida without telling me you're
• 2:06:46
  Speaker 2: from Florida. All the things that come out of Bert's
• 2:06:48
  Speaker 2: fucking mouth today.
• 2:06:49
  Speaker 1: He's like, get this. Trump's elected.
• 2:06:52
  Speaker 4: By the way, congrats on the Trump wing.
• 2:06:54
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 2:06:56
  Speaker 1: Now let's pull up trans dudes. Can they do dude
• 2:06:59
  Speaker 1: as well as those dudes can do woman?
• 2:07:00
  Speaker 2: Well, we do have to go down.
• 2:07:02
  Speaker 3: No. The answer's no. Not at all.
• 2:07:04
  Speaker 1: Not at all. It's so much easier to be a woman.
• 2:07:06
  Speaker 1: That's not.
• 2:07:07
  Speaker 3: No.
• 2:07:08
  Speaker 2: That's a dude? That's a girl that was a dude?
• 2:07:10
  Speaker 2: That's a trans dude.
• 2:07:12
  Speaker 3: We got to get out of this. We've got to.
• 2:07:14
  Speaker 3: We've got to draw the line somewhere. This is like
• 2:07:15
  Speaker 3: the GoFundMe for your dog. Yeah, we got to go.
• 2:07:18
  Speaker 2: Dude, so we were driving back.
• 2:07:20
  Speaker 1: Time out, time out.
• 2:07:21
  Speaker 3: He had the story about giving money to an organization.
• 2:07:23
  Speaker 3: That's when we got off track.
• 2:07:25
  Speaker 1: As soon as you said that, I remembered I got out.
• 2:07:27
  Speaker 1: That's not. That was a born a black woman?
• 2:07:31
  Speaker 2: No, she was white too.
• 2:07:33
  Speaker 3: Hey, Sherm, I don't want to say it again.
• 2:07:34
  Speaker 1: Hey, hold on.
• 2:07:35
  Speaker 2: For real, for real, for real. I don't want to
• 2:07:36
  Speaker 2: say it again, Sherm. Hey, we are muddying some waters
• 2:07:41
  Speaker 2: out here. And literally, this is like two weeks after
• 2:07:44
  Speaker 2: the Trump thing, people are like, they're exactly who we
• 2:07:45
  Speaker 2: thought they were. We don't want, we don't fucking need
• 2:07:51
  Speaker 2: this right now.
• 2:07:52
  Speaker 3: We got storytelling coming and then you just pull up
• 2:07:54
  Speaker 3: another one.
• 2:07:54
  Speaker 4: Dude, that's, they're hard not to, I mean, that's sherman's job.
• 2:07:58
  Speaker 2: Is on the line for the rest of this episode
• 2:08:00
  Speaker 2: oh my god if you pull up another trans person
• 2:08:02
  Speaker 2: on this podcast no disrespect we respect everybody who wants
• 2:08:04
  Speaker 2: to be whoever they want to be but just right
• 2:08:06
  Speaker 2: now can you.
• 2:08:08
  Speaker 1: Can you can you identify as asian if you can
• 2:08:11
  Speaker 1: identify as a woman you should be able to identify
• 2:08:13
  Speaker 1: as asian right.
• 2:08:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah i think i'm sure i forget what my 23andme
• 2:08:17
  Speaker 3: was i think african is everybody right.
• 2:08:20
  Speaker 1: Best joke I ever heard about that. So I don't
• 2:08:22
  Speaker 1: know who the guy is. And I just, I know
• 2:08:25
  Speaker 1: he's an older dude and he was a genius. I
• 2:08:26
  Speaker 1: think he's a genius, like autistic genius. He said, I'm, uh, 99%
• 2:08:35
  Speaker 1: Ashkenazi Jew and 1% Sub-Saharan African. And he goes, and
• 2:08:41
  Speaker 1: I'll just tell you, I don't think it was a date.
• 2:08:45
  Speaker 3: Dude, uh, Rogan has a good one too with the 23andMe.
• 2:08:49
  Speaker 3: He brought up the whole, the montage of him saying
• 2:08:52
  Speaker 3: the N-word and when he got canceled and everything else
• 2:08:53
  Speaker 3: and he wrapped it into a 23andMe. It was hilarious.
• 2:08:56
  Speaker 3: It was when we were in Vegas watching Shane.
• 2:08:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, for real?
• 2:08:58
  Speaker 3: We were watching Shane, his stand-up, and Rogan came out
• 2:09:01
  Speaker 3: to surprise everybody. We got to meet him and that
• 2:09:03
  Speaker 3: was fucking... That was tight.
• 2:09:04
  Speaker 1: You guys haven't done Rogan yet?
• 2:09:06
  Speaker 3: Dog, come on. No, we haven't.
• 2:09:08
  Speaker 1: Hang on. If there's one takeaway... If there's one takeaway...
• 2:09:12
  Speaker 1: That everyone on, every fan of this podcast... should just start,
• 2:09:16
  Speaker 1: just get in the comments. When are you going to
• 2:09:18
  Speaker 1: have boys on?
• 2:09:18
  Speaker 2: God, that would be something.
• 2:09:20
  Speaker 3: But we also hear if you press, like that makes it,
• 2:09:22
  Speaker 3: you're farther removed.
• 2:09:23
  Speaker 1: We've been told. I've heard some bad ones. I've heard
• 2:09:26
  Speaker 1: some bad ones.
• 2:09:26
  Speaker 3: We've been told there's like- Like we're cool.
• 2:09:29
  Speaker 2: These are rules.
• 2:09:29
  Speaker 3: We met Joe.
• 2:09:30
  Speaker 2: We met him. He follows us. We did the gambling thing.
• 2:09:33
  Speaker 2: He's told that story 10 times on his show. Jamie
• 2:09:36
  Speaker 2: loves college football.
• 2:09:38
  Speaker 3: Jamie loves it. We feel like we're.
• 2:09:39
  Speaker 2: Every time he talks about, he mispronounces my name and
• 2:09:42
  Speaker 2: talks about gambling with Dana White. I have all my
• 2:09:45
  Speaker 2: friends from Cave Creek. They send me the video. Like, listen,
• 2:09:49
  Speaker 2: we are toe in the door.
• 2:09:50
  Speaker 1: Toes in the door.
• 2:09:51
  Speaker 3: That is the- If we were to be asked, we
• 2:09:54
  Speaker 3: would come on.
• 2:09:54
  Speaker 2: If we were to be asked, we would check our
• 2:09:56
  Speaker 2: schedule and then come on.
• 2:09:57
  Speaker 3: And then come on, yeah.
• 2:09:58
  Speaker 1: That's going to be the episode. You're right about that.
• 2:10:01
  Speaker 1: And as I said that, everyone should get in the comments.
• 2:10:03
  Speaker 1: Don't get in the comments. It's a curious way to
• 2:10:06
  Speaker 1: get off of it. We did an episode, I think
• 2:10:09
  Speaker 1: it stayed in the show, where me and Ari talked
• 2:10:12
  Speaker 1: to Joe about how we got people on his show.
• 2:10:15
  Speaker 1: Because we always work behind the scenes to get people on.
• 2:10:21
  Speaker 3: And it would work?
• 2:10:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Shane Gillis. Yeah, Shane. I think we talk
• 2:10:27
  Speaker 1: about it. I mean, I know for a fact Theo
• 2:10:30
  Speaker 1: was one where I was like, because Theo wanted to
• 2:10:31
  Speaker 1: get on, and I was like, it doesn't work that way. Like,
• 2:10:35
  Speaker 1: I can't, if I push it, Joe won't like it. Right, right, right.
• 2:10:40
  Speaker 1: He'll say yes, because he'll go, yeah, of course. But, like,
• 2:10:43
  Speaker 1: I tried to do it with Warren Sapp. Warren wanted
• 2:10:46
  Speaker 1: to do it a long time ago, a long time ago.
• 2:10:49
  Speaker 1: And I was like, yo, hey, Warren Sapp wants to
• 2:10:51
  Speaker 1: get on your show. Is that Fat Tom or Fat Shane?
• 2:10:56
  Speaker 1: Holy shit. That angle.
• 2:10:57
  Speaker 2: That's a bad angle. The old couch was really hard.
• 2:11:00
  Speaker 3: Really hard on the gas.
• 2:11:01
  Speaker 4: He looks good these days.
• 2:11:02
  Speaker 1: That's all I'm saying.
• 2:11:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:11:03
  Speaker 1: So I said, and so Joe's like, I'll have Warren
• 2:11:06
  Speaker 1: Sapp on. He goes, I just don't know him. I
• 2:11:07
  Speaker 1: don't know anything about him. So you have to come
• 2:11:09
  Speaker 1: on with him. And I was like, oh, I'm not
• 2:11:12
  Speaker 1: a great go-between. And so I remember saying with Theo,
• 2:11:16
  Speaker 1: I was like, dude, when he sees you, he'll want
• 2:11:19
  Speaker 1: you on. And that's when you want to be on,
• 2:11:21
  Speaker 1: is when he's excited about you.
• 2:11:23
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 2:11:24
  Speaker 1: And, uh, and Gillis, Gillis was like one Ari and
• 2:11:28
  Speaker 1: I would, we would send Gillian Keeves videos to our
• 2:11:33
  Speaker 1: group thread. Like, dude, have you seen this? And then
• 2:11:35
  Speaker 1: you're like, all you're waiting for is Joe to reply.
• 2:11:38
  Speaker 1: And then I'd be like, no. And then Ari would
• 2:11:40
  Speaker 1: text me, send it again. And then I sent it again.
• 2:11:42
  Speaker 1: And this is fucking awesome, dude. Shane Gillis is fucking hysterical.
• 2:11:45
  Speaker 1: And then Joe would be like, who is this guy?
• 2:11:46
  Speaker 1: And we're like, oh, he's the guy that got fired
• 2:11:49
  Speaker 1: from SNL for that. And he's like, Joe's like, that's
• 2:11:50
  Speaker 1: fucking bullshit. I mean, it's, it's, it was like. we
• 2:11:53
  Speaker 1: talked about it on an episode. I can't remember if
• 2:11:55
  Speaker 1: we shared all of it, but, uh, you know, it's,
• 2:11:58
  Speaker 1: we did it with Nate Bargatze. We've done it with
• 2:12:00
  Speaker 1: a bunch of people.
• 2:12:01
  Speaker 2: No shit.
• 2:12:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Cause, cause Joe's, you know, so many people come
• 2:12:04
  Speaker 1: at Joe. Of course.
• 2:12:06
  Speaker 3: That's the one, like everyone's begging for him to sit
• 2:12:08
  Speaker 3: down with the presidential candidates for Kamala and Trump. It
• 2:12:11
  Speaker 3: sounds like they're going to happen. The Trump one sounds
• 2:12:13
  Speaker 3: like it's going to happen.
• 2:12:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:12:14
  Speaker 2: I just don't, I don't know how it's going to
• 2:12:15
  Speaker 2: work out.
• 2:12:16
  Speaker 3: But yeah, it's your point.
• 2:12:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I've sat in the room with people who were like,
• 2:12:22
  Speaker 1: Who are like, Joe, hey, man, if you ever need
• 2:12:23
  Speaker 1: a guest for your podcast. And I go, wow, you
• 2:12:25
  Speaker 1: just got yourself never on the show.
• 2:12:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:12:28
  Speaker 1: You know, Joe's really, I think he'd be cool with
• 2:12:31
  Speaker 1: me saying this. He's very comfortable with confrontation.
• 2:12:34
  Speaker 2: Comfortable with confrontation?
• 2:12:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, man.
• 2:12:36
  Speaker 3: I mean, there's receipts out there. Even old videos like
• 2:12:38
  Speaker 3: Fear Factor.
• 2:12:42
  Speaker 1: So, like, people that think, you know, hey … Uh, what,
• 2:12:46
  Speaker 1: what's the saying? They say it never hurts to try.
• 2:12:48
  Speaker 1: It does. It does. It totally does.
• 2:12:51
  Speaker 3: It completely does.
• 2:12:52
  Speaker 2: So when we, when we, uh, met Joe, Shane was like, Hey,
• 2:12:57
  Speaker 2: Joe's going to come in. Do not talk about the podcast.
• 2:13:00
  Speaker 2: Do not bring up anything about the podcast.
• 2:13:03
  Speaker 1: Is this a little crazy that like we have a way.
• 2:13:08
  Speaker 1: It's like if they brought a chimp in and they
• 2:13:11
  Speaker 1: were like, hey, man, don't look him right in the eyes.
• 2:13:13
  Speaker 1: He'll bite off your fingers. He'll bite your nose. Don't
• 2:13:16
  Speaker 1: look him in the eyes. But it's right. Don't talk
• 2:13:18
  Speaker 1: about the podcast. Just be a regular person. Hang with him.
• 2:13:22
  Speaker 1: Joe just doesn't want to feel like he's being leveraged.
• 2:13:26
  Speaker 1: That's it. Yeah.
• 2:13:27
  Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like everybody wants to feel that
• 2:13:29
  Speaker 2: way if you are a person of celebrity status in
• 2:13:32
  Speaker 2: any shape or form.
• 2:13:33
  Speaker 1: You just want to hang out. I'm always shocked at
• 2:13:36
  Speaker 1: people who hit up Joe for tickets to UFC. Like I,
• 2:13:40
  Speaker 1: one time, one time I was at, I was doing
• 2:13:42
  Speaker 1: Madison Square Garden. UFC was in Madison Square Garden. I
• 2:13:46
  Speaker 1: was doing the theater. Joe was in doing the, whatchamacallit.
• 2:13:50
  Speaker 1: And I, that morning I texted him. I said, dude,
• 2:13:52
  Speaker 1: are you at UFC? And he said, yes. Do you
• 2:13:54
  Speaker 1: need tickets? I said, that would be great. And immediately
• 2:13:56
  Speaker 1: I regretted it. And I was like, man, I've never
• 2:14:00
  Speaker 1: asked anything from that guy. Like I've never said, and
• 2:14:02
  Speaker 1: he is so goddamn generous. He sent me a treadmill
• 2:14:05
  Speaker 1: one time. He sent me grills. He sent me stuff
• 2:14:07
  Speaker 1: that you. He sees you talking about it. He just goes,
• 2:14:09
  Speaker 1: Hey man, I got you. And I regretted immediately. And
• 2:14:12
  Speaker 1: I immediately said, Hey man, I don't need the tickets.
• 2:14:14
  Speaker 1: I will buy tickets. I want to go. I'm going
• 2:14:16
  Speaker 1: to buy my own tickets. But I'm always shocked at
• 2:14:18
  Speaker 1: like people who are completely comfortable. I'm like, Joe, can
• 2:14:22
  Speaker 1: you hook me up for UFC? I'm like, why wouldn't
• 2:14:24
  Speaker 1: you just be his friend?
• 2:14:26
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 2:14:26
  Speaker 1: Like just be his friend. You get, get your own
• 2:14:28
  Speaker 1: fucking tickets.
• 2:14:29
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you this though. If you, if Joe
• 2:14:31
  Speaker 2: was not Joe Rogan of like the stature he is,
• 2:14:34
  Speaker 2: and he was just a regular friend, and you guys
• 2:14:37
  Speaker 2: were in college and they had the ability to get
• 2:14:40
  Speaker 2: tickets to something, would you not ask that person for tickets?
• 2:14:43
  Speaker 1: No, I still won't.
• 2:14:44
  Speaker 3: Really? Yeah.
• 2:14:45
  Speaker 1: I don't, but I'm, I'm weird about, I'm weird about
• 2:14:48
  Speaker 1: owing stuff to people.
• 2:14:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:14:50
  Speaker 2: But I'm, I've, I've tried to put myself in a
• 2:14:51
  Speaker 2: situation like, uh, like if I was in whatever the podcast, we,
• 2:14:56
  Speaker 2: the process no longer exists. Bust with the boys. I'm
• 2:14:59
  Speaker 2: in Lincoln. They're playing somebody, uh, And I would not
• 2:15:03
  Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable at all about texting Will and be like, yo, hey,
• 2:15:05
  Speaker 2: I'm here in town. I know they're playing tonight. Do
• 2:15:07
  Speaker 2: you have anybody to hook me up with some tickets?
• 2:15:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, I can't do that. So I'm going to parents weekend.
• 2:15:12
  Speaker 3: And it'd be a no brainer.
• 2:15:13
  Speaker 1: I'm going to parents weekend this weekend.
• 2:15:14
  Speaker 3: Locked in no matter what.
• 2:15:16
  Speaker 2: But I do understand the discomfort of asking somebody for tickets.
• 2:15:20
  Speaker 1: The second, hang on, the second. And this is going
• 2:15:23
  Speaker 1: to sound very broken. The second I ask you for something,
• 2:15:26
  Speaker 1: I owe you something. I don't want to owe anyone anything.
• 2:15:28
  Speaker 2: I feel like that only goes– I feel like that's like–
• 2:15:31
  Speaker 2: there's like levels, tiers of friendship. And like you and
• 2:15:34
  Speaker 2: Joe are great friends. Will and I are great friends.
• 2:15:37
  Speaker 1: I'm going to trump your celebrity for two seconds and
• 2:15:41
  Speaker 1: tell you this is your future. Hey, man, we'd love
• 2:15:45
  Speaker 1: for you to go to the fucking– what's the minor
• 2:15:48
  Speaker 1: league team here? It's a great team.
• 2:15:49
  Speaker 3: Sounds.
• 2:15:50
  Speaker 1: We'd love for you to go to the Sounds. Oh,
• 2:15:51
  Speaker 1: I'd love that. Hey, can we take care of you
• 2:15:53
  Speaker 1: and your family? Absolutely. Cool. Hey, when you get there,
• 2:15:55
  Speaker 1: we're going to bring you down the field. We want
• 2:15:56
  Speaker 1: you to do some pictures. You're like, oh, all right, great.
• 2:15:59
  Speaker 1: And then, and then on the seventh inning, we're going
• 2:16:00
  Speaker 1: to have you stand up. You're going to sing for
• 2:16:02
  Speaker 1: the whole group. Is that cool? I need some pictures
• 2:16:03
  Speaker 1: of you. Can we get your wife out of them though?
• 2:16:05
  Speaker 1: The second you give them anything you owe them, it's
• 2:16:08
  Speaker 1: a work day. Everything I've ever done where I've gotten
• 2:16:12
  Speaker 1: like a privilege, I can't get into too great detail.
• 2:16:15
  Speaker 1: So I don't want to fucking sound like an ungrateful asshole,
• 2:16:17
  Speaker 1: but like, Hey, Bert, we'd love to have you this.
• 2:16:19
  Speaker 1: All of a sudden, I'm being walked around like a
• 2:16:21
  Speaker 1: fucking show pony for the entire time, and it's a
• 2:16:23
  Speaker 1: work event. And if I want to go to UFC,
• 2:16:25
  Speaker 1: if I want to go to the Bucs, if I
• 2:16:27
  Speaker 1: want to go to something, I want to go. I
• 2:16:28
  Speaker 1: don't want to have to work. I want to be
• 2:16:30
  Speaker 1: able to party and not be responsible. I'll give you
• 2:16:32
  Speaker 1: a perfect example. This is a perfect example.
• 2:16:34
  Speaker 3: I feel like you can paint those boundaries before you
• 2:16:36
  Speaker 3: go to it.
• 2:16:37
  Speaker 1: Uh-oh, no.
• 2:16:37
  Speaker 2: And you're also talking about a company versus a friendship.
• 2:16:41
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you a great example. I went to... Uh,
• 2:16:44
  Speaker 1: I like every year I like to get a box
• 2:16:46
  Speaker 1: at the Rams game for all my friends and family
• 2:16:49
  Speaker 1: and bring them all to one Rams game. We did
• 2:16:51
  Speaker 1: it last year, Thursday night football. It's me. I paid
• 2:16:54
  Speaker 1: for the box. I paid for the box. I brought
• 2:16:56
  Speaker 1: everyone and I got a party bus. Everyone, my parents
• 2:16:57
  Speaker 1: are there. My kids are there. All our friends and family.
• 2:17:00
  Speaker 1: It's awesome. That's, I think that's it. That's actually it.
• 2:17:03
  Speaker 1: It's a beautiful time. And, uh, Andrew Whitworth comes back
• 2:17:07
  Speaker 1: and he's like, Hey, uh, can you come on the
• 2:17:09
  Speaker 1: show at the end? And I was like, okay. I
• 2:17:13
  Speaker 1: was like, yes, because I'm, I'm big fan of Andrew Whitworth.
• 2:17:17
  Speaker 1: Cause I, you know, we were Rams family. He's the
• 2:17:18
  Speaker 1: man and he's the fucking man and it's fucking Fitzpatrick.
• 2:17:22
  Speaker 1: And they want me to just rip my shirt off
• 2:17:23
  Speaker 1: and fuck around. And I go, yes, absolutely. I want to, however,
• 2:17:26
  Speaker 1: it means I got to stop drinking. Cause I, I
• 2:17:29
  Speaker 1: don't want to get, I don't want to go drunk
• 2:17:30
  Speaker 1: on TV, you know? So it, everything turns into a
• 2:17:33
  Speaker 1: work event. I'm so grateful. I did it. I had
• 2:17:35
  Speaker 1: so much fun and I didn't technically stop drinking. It
• 2:17:38
  Speaker 1: was so awesome. It was such a great experience. but
• 2:17:40
  Speaker 1: like when I go to something, I want to just
• 2:17:42
  Speaker 1: go and I don't want to deal with anyone. I
• 2:17:44
  Speaker 1: don't want to deal with like the, Hey, can we
• 2:17:45
  Speaker 1: get you to go up and do that? And you're like,
• 2:17:49
  Speaker 1: like every, baseball game we go to, we went to
• 2:17:51
  Speaker 1: the Dodgers opening ceremony opening day. And they were like, yeah,
• 2:17:55
  Speaker 1: we can get you tickets. And my daughters were like,
• 2:17:57
  Speaker 1: don't pay for them. So we don't have to work.
• 2:17:59
  Speaker 1: Cause if you get the tickets for free, you're going
• 2:18:02
  Speaker 1: to go down. You're going to say hi to everyone.
• 2:18:03
  Speaker 1: They're going to just, you're theirs. They own you for
• 2:18:05
  Speaker 1: the day. So I don't want to say no.
• 2:18:09
  Speaker 3: It's like if we had that same if you were
• 2:18:11
  Speaker 3: like hey comp I'm in Lincoln like I'm trying to
• 2:18:14
  Speaker 3: go to a Husker game could you hook it up
• 2:18:16
  Speaker 3: and I would say absolutely I want you to see
• 2:18:18
  Speaker 3: a Husker atmosphere I would text get the hookup going
• 2:18:22
  Speaker 3: and I would tell them I would say he just
• 2:18:24
  Speaker 3: wants to go and see and watch the game do
• 2:18:27
  Speaker 3: not ask him to do anything like I would almost
• 2:18:30
  Speaker 3: do that for you so I.
• 2:18:30
  Speaker 2: Do feel like there's a I don't think you would
• 2:18:33
  Speaker 2: say that without this conversation taking place.
• 2:18:35
  Speaker 3: If he told me he didn't want to do anything,
• 2:18:37
  Speaker 3: no extra with it, I would absolutely say that.
• 2:18:40
  Speaker 2: But the blanket, just the basic text that's like, hey, man,
• 2:18:44
  Speaker 2: I would love to go to watch a Nebraska football game.
• 2:18:46
  Speaker 2: You would just take that, send it to whoever, and
• 2:18:49
  Speaker 2: be like, hey, Burt Kreischer is looking for a couple tickets.
• 2:18:51
  Speaker 2: You guys mind hooking him up? That's without any context
• 2:18:54
  Speaker 2: of this conversation or him saying.
• 2:18:56
  Speaker 3: I don't want to do anything.
• 2:18:56
  Speaker 1: The person that got you the tickets that you had
• 2:18:58
  Speaker 1: to go through, they did something. They're going to want something.
• 2:19:01
  Speaker 1: I've been to too many of these things where they go,
• 2:19:04
  Speaker 1: Where you think it's all for free and then all
• 2:19:06
  Speaker 1: of a sudden you're working the entire day. So that's why.
• 2:19:08
  Speaker 2: I think it's different with sports.
• 2:19:09
  Speaker 1: I think it's different with sports.
• 2:19:10
  Speaker 3: If we were to go to a Titans game and
• 2:19:11
  Speaker 3: say like, hey, you know, so-and-so, we don't want to
• 2:19:14
  Speaker 3: do X, Y, and Z. Like we just want to.
• 2:19:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'll tell you. I'll give you a perfect example.
• 2:19:17
  Speaker 2: That's a perfect example. I took my, it was a
• 2:19:21
  Speaker 2: Packers game. I took my kids and my wife. That
• 2:19:24
  Speaker 2: was this year. I took my kids and my wife
• 2:19:26
  Speaker 2: and I texted Nate Bain, the social media guy, and
• 2:19:28
  Speaker 2: I was like, hey. Want to take my kids to
• 2:19:30
  Speaker 2: a game. My daughter's been talking about it. Would love
• 2:19:32
  Speaker 2: to go. And he's like, oh yeah, no problem. I said, hey,
• 2:19:34
  Speaker 2: one more thing. I don't want to be on the
• 2:19:36
  Speaker 2: big screen. I don't want to chug the beer. I
• 2:19:37
  Speaker 2: don't want to do any of that. I just want
• 2:19:38
  Speaker 2: to watch the game. And he's like, no problem. Went,
• 2:19:41
  Speaker 2: watched the game, left. Because you did that last year.
• 2:19:45
  Speaker 2: But I did the beer chug last year. I'm talking
• 2:19:47
  Speaker 2: about this season, the 2024 season.
• 2:19:48
  Speaker 1: The big screen gives me so much anxiety. Like I
• 2:19:51
  Speaker 1: went to the Knicks and then the Rangers. It's like
• 2:19:54
  Speaker 1: the first experience I have where they gave you tickets
• 2:19:56
  Speaker 1: and they're like, Yo, they're going to put you on
• 2:19:58
  Speaker 1: the big screen. I thought it was a gift that
• 2:19:59
  Speaker 1: you get to be on the big screen. It is.
• 2:20:01
  Speaker 1: But what I didn't realize is that the whole fucking game,
• 2:20:04
  Speaker 1: I'm nervous going like, when are they coming to me?
• 2:20:06
  Speaker 1: When are they coming to me? I hope I can
• 2:20:07
  Speaker 1: do it well. Should I take my hat off and
• 2:20:09
  Speaker 1: then take the shirt off? Right. And then when we
• 2:20:12
  Speaker 1: went to the Rangers, they're like, yo, kill a beer,
• 2:20:14
  Speaker 1: but you can't take your shirt off. And I was like,
• 2:20:16
  Speaker 1: like the Yankees game. God damn it. I was fucking fat.
• 2:20:19
  Speaker 2: That's you on the left?
• 2:20:20
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 2:20:21
  Speaker 2: Bro, you look so different. You don't look like the
• 2:20:23
  Speaker 2: same human being.
• 2:20:26
  Speaker 1: Holy, can I tell you what's crazy about that picture?
• 2:20:30
  Speaker 1: Is I had gotten wardrobe for the Today Show and
• 2:20:34
  Speaker 1: on the flight, I put it on the next day
• 2:20:37
  Speaker 1: and it didn't fit. I gained weight on the flight.
• 2:20:41
  Speaker 1: God damn it, I am fat as fucking shit.
• 2:20:42
  Speaker 2: I look Asian. Past tense, past tense.
• 2:20:44
  Speaker 3: You don't look anything like that right now.
• 2:20:46
  Speaker 2: You look anything like that.
• 2:20:46
  Speaker 1: I'm in the best shape of my life. Pete, you
• 2:20:48
  Speaker 1: look the same.
• 2:20:51
  Speaker 3: Consistent. Yeah.
• 2:20:53
  Speaker 2: But you should be Yankees game.
• 2:20:55
  Speaker 1: Yankees game, they go, hey, we got great seats for you.
• 2:20:57
  Speaker 1: Everything's free. And you're like, oh, cool. And they're like,
• 2:20:59
  Speaker 1: real quick, can you come back and do the, and
• 2:21:01
  Speaker 1: you're like.
• 2:21:02
  Speaker 3: But you didn't, when you agreed to the ticket, you
• 2:21:04
  Speaker 3: didn't set the, paint the expectation.
• 2:21:06
  Speaker 2: You got to set it.
• 2:21:07
  Speaker 1: I got, I.
• 2:21:09
  Speaker 3: Like, I do feel what you're saying, but I do
• 2:21:11
  Speaker 3: also at the end, in the same breath, feel like
• 2:21:13
  Speaker 3: you can go and do these things by being like
• 2:21:15
  Speaker 3: up front at the very beginning.
• 2:21:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
• 2:21:18
  Speaker 2: But there is, so add a layer to it.
• 2:21:20
  Speaker 1: Asking. I would never ask Joe for anything. I would never,
• 2:21:23
  Speaker 1: I will never. As long as he offered his friendship
• 2:21:27
  Speaker 1: one night.
• 2:21:28
  Speaker 3: Who's this? Who are we talking about?
• 2:21:29
  Speaker 1: Rogan.
• 2:21:29
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah.
• 2:21:30
  Speaker 1: He said, he goes, I want to be your friend.
• 2:21:32
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to be your friend. And at that moment,
• 2:21:34
  Speaker 1: I realized I can't ever ask this man of anything
• 2:21:37
  Speaker 1: other than just friendship and just advice. I talked to him.
• 2:21:40
  Speaker 1: Only reason I ever call him bullshit about comedy, bullshit
• 2:21:43
  Speaker 1: about like gossip, or just ask his advice about life.
• 2:21:47
  Speaker 1: I mean, he's giving me the best advice.
• 2:21:48
  Speaker 2: And he said to you, I'm trying to be your friend.
• 2:21:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:21:51
  Speaker 1: I think you've actually heard me tell that story before.
• 2:21:52
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you've heard me tell it.
• 2:21:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:21:53
  Speaker 2: I definitely heard you tell that story.
• 2:21:54
  Speaker 1: I only have like five stories. I tell them all
• 2:21:55
  Speaker 1: over again.
• 2:21:57
  Speaker 2: The discomfort of asking what you've already said you don't do,
• 2:22:02
  Speaker 2: but like asking someone you're kind of friends with, you
• 2:22:06
  Speaker 2: know well, you would consider a friend for something is
• 2:22:10
  Speaker 2: much more difficult to me than asking someone who you
• 2:22:12
  Speaker 2: consider a very, like a great friend. So Riley green,
• 2:22:16
  Speaker 2: love Riley green.
• 2:22:17
  Speaker 3: Awesome guy.
• 2:22:18
  Speaker 2: Would I say that we're best friends? No, but I
• 2:22:19
  Speaker 2: would consider us friends enough for me to text and
• 2:22:21
  Speaker 2: call him and feel comfortable doing both of those things.
• 2:22:24
  Speaker 2: My head football coach, my senior of high school, he
• 2:22:28
  Speaker 2: is now at ASU and Riley green was playing a concert.
• 2:22:31
  Speaker 2: My head football coach text me is like, can you
• 2:22:33
  Speaker 2: please ask Riley green for tickets? Or I want to
• 2:22:36
  Speaker 2: meet him, blah, blah, blah. I love that coach. But
• 2:22:39
  Speaker 2: that was so uncomfortable, sending that text to Riley, to
• 2:22:44
  Speaker 2: where it was like, instead of just asking for it,
• 2:22:45
  Speaker 2: it was this long of a text. Being like, I
• 2:22:48
  Speaker 2: know this, you can tell me to fuck off, I
• 2:22:50
  Speaker 2: am so sorry, blah, blah. Hits me back, no problem.
• 2:22:52
  Speaker 2: I was like, absolutely. But those are the situations to
• 2:22:55
  Speaker 2: me where I'm like.
• 2:22:56
  Speaker 1: It's amazing you said that.
• 2:22:56
  Speaker 3: Very uncomfortable. Jelly Roll was the same way with the
• 2:22:59
  Speaker 3: high school buddy in St. Louis, but I knew- You
• 2:23:01
  Speaker 3: know Jelly Roll, and he came at night of their life. Okay,
• 2:23:05
  Speaker 3: that's crazy.
• 2:23:05
  Speaker 2: Guys like Jelly Roll, I think to myself, Jelly is
• 2:23:09
  Speaker 2: so nice and so kind and loves everybody. There's a
• 2:23:12
  Speaker 2: feeling of like, I don't want to take advantage of
• 2:23:13
  Speaker 2: this guy because I know he's going to do it.
• 2:23:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, I've asked Jelly to bring people backstage for his shows.
• 2:23:19
  Speaker 1: I've done that.
• 2:23:20
  Speaker 3: But you're there.
• 2:23:21
  Speaker 1: No, no. Great comedian. Steve Trevino hit me up and
• 2:23:25
  Speaker 1: he's like, dude, jelly's in town. My son's the biggest fan.
• 2:23:28
  Speaker 1: Can you get me backstage? I went, absolutely. And I
• 2:23:31
  Speaker 1: don't think I reached out to Steve's amazing. And, uh,
• 2:23:34
  Speaker 1: I don't think I reached out to jelly, but I
• 2:23:35
  Speaker 1: had my team reach out and they're like, yo, jelly's sick.
• 2:23:38
  Speaker 1: He's not doing meet and greets. And I was like, Ooh,
• 2:23:40
  Speaker 1: I felt bad. I was like, Sorry, buddy. I couldn't
• 2:23:42
  Speaker 1: make it happen.
• 2:23:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:23:44
  Speaker 1: I told you we were friends. We're not really that close,
• 2:23:45
  Speaker 1: I guess. No, but I would... The crazy thing is
• 2:23:49
  Speaker 1: I want you to ask me to come backstage. Like,
• 2:23:51
  Speaker 1: I want you to... If I'm in your town, I
• 2:23:54
  Speaker 1: want you to leverage your friendship to get your friends backstage.
• 2:23:59
  Speaker 1: I'd love that. I'd love when people come backstage. Our
• 2:24:01
  Speaker 1: backstage in Tampa was so fucking thick. I mean, you know,
• 2:24:05
  Speaker 1: I grew up in Tampa, but the Tampa... was like,
• 2:24:07
  Speaker 1: first and foremost, it's Derek Brooks runs that town. Derek
• 2:24:12
  Speaker 1: Brooks is the man. It's the only time my dad's
• 2:24:16
  Speaker 1: ever been legit outwardly proud of me is Derek Brooks
• 2:24:21
  Speaker 1: comes backstage. I just did Amelie. Amelie. It's 19,000 people.
• 2:24:26
  Speaker 1: It's fucking crazy. It's one of the biggest shows I've
• 2:24:29
  Speaker 1: ever done. Derek Brooks comes backstage with me, and he's
• 2:24:33
  Speaker 1: talking to me and my dad. And he says to
• 2:24:36
  Speaker 1: my dad, Can you believe his career? And my dad
• 2:24:39
  Speaker 1: goes to me in front of him. This is Derek
• 2:24:43
  Speaker 1: fucking Brooks. And I went, yeah. My dad goes, buddy,
• 2:24:48
  Speaker 1: does he know who you are? And I went, yeah, dad,
• 2:24:51
  Speaker 1: it's all. And Derek Brooks goes, I absolutely know who
• 2:24:54
  Speaker 1: he is. And Derek Brooks says, I was at his
• 2:24:56
  Speaker 1: first show ever. And my dad goes, what? He's like,
• 2:24:59
  Speaker 1: I saw his first standup show ever. My buddy Miles
• 2:25:02
  Speaker 1: Mosley took him to see my first standup show ever.
• 2:25:03
  Speaker 1: And he goes, now I'm seeing him today. He goes,
• 2:25:05
  Speaker 1: can you believe the career your son's had? And my
• 2:25:07
  Speaker 1: dad's like, he keeps going, Derek Brooks knows who you are.
• 2:25:12
  Speaker 1: I go, yeah, dad, I know. But that fucking backstage
• 2:25:15
  Speaker 1: at Tampa, Derek Brooks, Wade Boggs, Mike Allstott, every kid
• 2:25:20
  Speaker 1: I ever grew up with. I mean, maybe 400 people backstage.
• 2:25:24
  Speaker 1: And I want that. At my shows, I want everyone backstage. Dude,
• 2:25:28
  Speaker 1: Nashville was like a crazy backstage. But so like, as
• 2:25:31
  Speaker 1: I say this, I go, please leverage me. Cause I
• 2:25:35
  Speaker 1: want you to ask for the favorites. I don't mind it.
• 2:25:37
  Speaker 1: I don't mind.
• 2:25:37
  Speaker 3: I was going to say like, I feel like I
• 2:25:39
  Speaker 3: have a good enough relationship with you to where if
• 2:25:42
  Speaker 3: I had a really good bit or somebody I cared
• 2:25:44
  Speaker 3: about that wanted to go to the show and I'm
• 2:25:45
  Speaker 3: just happening to be in town, I would almost expect
• 2:25:48
  Speaker 3: you to tell me if you don't want that to happen.
• 2:25:50
  Speaker 3: Cause I would call and be like, Hey, so-and-so wants
• 2:25:52
  Speaker 3: to come to your show. You can absolutely tell me
• 2:25:54
  Speaker 3: to fuck off. I promise you. It's no big deal
• 2:25:55
  Speaker 3: to me. He's asked me, I want to, I don't
• 2:25:57
  Speaker 3: want to say, Hey, I tried asking him or if
• 2:25:59
  Speaker 3: I felt like, Hey bro, you know, I don't, I
• 2:26:02
  Speaker 3: don't do those things. I don't ask for those favors,
• 2:26:04
  Speaker 3: but I would feel like I have a relationship enough
• 2:26:06
  Speaker 3: with you to where if you didn't want that, but
• 2:26:07
  Speaker 3: I would just expect you to tell me because I
• 2:26:09
  Speaker 3: feel like we would have that relationship.
• 2:26:10
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 2:26:11
  Speaker 3: No, no, no. Hey Taylor, you're about to do stand
• 2:26:13
  Speaker 3: up here. Like, Hey, I promise you, bro. If it's
• 2:26:15
  Speaker 3: too big of a show and shit's going on, just
• 2:26:16
  Speaker 3: tell me.
• 2:26:17
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 2:26:17
  Speaker 3: That's interesting.
• 2:26:18
  Speaker 1: That's interesting.
• 2:26:18
  Speaker 3: I'll know what to tell him and be like, listen,
• 2:26:20
  Speaker 3: he's got way too much going on.
• 2:26:22
  Speaker 1: It's interesting you say that because I would, I would,
• 2:26:25
  Speaker 1: if you said to me, if anyone said to me,
• 2:26:27
  Speaker 1: Can I get backstage and meet Shane? I go, yeah.
• 2:26:29
  Speaker 1: I'll text Shane. I don't have a problem with that.
• 2:26:31
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 2:26:31
  Speaker 1: Tommy? Sure.
• 2:26:33
  Speaker 3: Rogan?
• 2:26:33
  Speaker 1: I say no.
• 2:26:34
  Speaker 3: See, Shane.
• 2:26:34
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 2:26:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So Shane.
• 2:26:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:26:36
  Speaker 3: I feel you there. I do understand that.
• 2:26:40
  Speaker 2: With Shane, I did the same thing with some Michigan
• 2:26:42
  Speaker 2: offensive linemen. I know he loves offensive linemen, those types
• 2:26:43
  Speaker 2: of things. His dick gets hard. I gave the same, hey,
• 2:26:46
  Speaker 2: you can tell me to fuck off. And he's like, yes.
• 2:26:48
  Speaker 2: FaceTimes me with the boys. And he's like, we went
• 2:26:50
  Speaker 2: out till like three in the morning.
• 2:26:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:26:53
  Speaker 2: Shane, you don't feel uncomfortable with? Well, hold on.
• 2:26:56
  Speaker 1: Let's just be clear. He also has a type. Offensive
• 2:27:00
  Speaker 1: linemen are his type.
• 2:27:02
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 2:27:02
  Speaker 1: 100%.
• 2:27:02
  Speaker 3: If you test him, if you.
• 2:27:05
  Speaker 1: I remember the Notre Dame offensive line wanted to come
• 2:27:08
  Speaker 1: to our show and Shane had all their phone numbers.
• 2:27:12
  Speaker 1: And he's like, I've got everyone taken care of. He
• 2:27:15
  Speaker 1: had pictures of him doing this shit with them.
• 2:27:17
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 2:27:18
  Speaker 1: He was, he, and then he was like introducing my
• 2:27:20
  Speaker 1: daughter and her friend to all the, meet these guys.
• 2:27:23
  Speaker 1: These guys are like the fucking best. This guy's the
• 2:27:25
  Speaker 1: man right here. Let me tell you where we went
• 2:27:26
  Speaker 1: to high school. He was like, he loves those guys.
• 2:27:28
  Speaker 2: Dude, he loves the big boys.
• 2:27:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he does.
• 2:27:32
  Speaker 3: He does love the big boys. I remember when he was, uh,
• 2:27:34
  Speaker 3: he was doing in in indianapolis and he wanted quentin
• 2:27:37
  Speaker 3: does vince vaughn.
• 2:27:41
  Speaker 1: Know who caleb is i.
• 2:27:43
  Speaker 2: Think they did they actually they didn't know each other
• 2:27:47
  Speaker 2: they did i have no clue i think so i mean.
• 2:27:49
  Speaker 1: Caleb's got fucking interesting energy yo yeah dude he's.
• 2:27:53
  Speaker 2: Very uh i'm telling you man.
• 2:27:55
  Speaker 1: I'm being very real and i love caleb I absolutely
• 2:27:59
  Speaker 1: did not want to do his podcast.
• 2:28:01
  Speaker 3: The Sunday Conversation?
• 2:28:02
  Speaker 1: I did not want to do it. Where you had
• 2:28:03
  Speaker 1: the clip talking about drinking? Yeah, because I was like,
• 2:28:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not good. I'm not good in these things. Like,
• 2:28:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to, I never know how to,
• 2:28:09
  Speaker 1: I can do this, like just talking stuff. Right, right, right.
• 2:28:12
  Speaker 1: But like those kind of things, they make me nervous.
• 2:28:13
  Speaker 1: And so he was down in Fort Lauderdale and we
• 2:28:17
  Speaker 1: were supposed to do it and I was so uncomfortable.
• 2:28:19
  Speaker 1: I didn't know what to do.
• 2:28:20
  Speaker 3: He's got like a weird, humoric genius to himself.
• 2:28:24
  Speaker 1: But then you sit with him.
• 2:28:25
  Speaker 3: He really does.
• 2:28:25
  Speaker 1: You sit with him and he's, He's so normal. Like
• 2:28:29
  Speaker 1: he really is. But his energy is like, you know,
• 2:28:32
  Speaker 1: he's got like, he's got like big dick energy. Like
• 2:28:34
  Speaker 1: he's very funny without trying to be funny.
• 2:28:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah. He really isn't.
• 2:28:39
  Speaker 1: Like I watched him on here with you guys. hysterical
• 2:28:43
  Speaker 1: and he's not trying he's not trying yeah he's just
• 2:28:45
  Speaker 1: being him yeah i think i think caleb's fucking fasting
• 2:28:49
  Speaker 1: i mean out of the two obviously you know i
• 2:28:50
  Speaker 1: gravitate to glennie balls that's my energy glennie balls at
• 2:28:53
  Speaker 1: the beer was fucking hysterical he killed three beers out
• 2:28:58
  Speaker 1: of that boot and he goes and i'm watching him
• 2:29:00
  Speaker 1: over by the grass i go what's going on he
• 2:29:01
  Speaker 1: goes oh zampic.
• 2:29:02
  Speaker 3: I said.
• 2:29:07
  Speaker 2: He is something special. But yeah, some guys are just different.
• 2:29:11
  Speaker 2: When they just have a mind for it, when you
• 2:29:13
  Speaker 2: meet him, you're like, Ed, that's, it's impressive to be
• 2:29:15
  Speaker 2: around him. Caleb's one of those guys.
• 2:29:16
  Speaker 1: Caleb's fucking fascinating, man. Like his interview here, he was
• 2:29:20
  Speaker 1: so funny. He was talking about a guy he doesn't
• 2:29:22
  Speaker 1: talk to anymore. I can't remember who. It was a
• 2:29:24
  Speaker 1: guy from Barstool, a guy they fired from Barstool or whatever.
• 2:29:27
  Speaker 3: Stephen Che?
• 2:29:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and he was like, I don't talk to him. No,
• 2:29:29
  Speaker 1: they didn't fire Stephen. It was whatever it was.
• 2:29:30
  Speaker 3: You probably listened to the clip recently when he was
• 2:29:32
  Speaker 3: on the yak talking about it, where he's talking about
• 2:29:34
  Speaker 3: the energy being.
• 2:29:35
  Speaker 1: Sucked out of him. Dude, fucking hold on. Let's break
• 2:29:36
  Speaker 1: down Barstool for a second. It's fucking fascinating. This company
• 2:29:43
  Speaker 1: is fucking fascinating.
• 2:29:45
  Speaker 3: It really is.
• 2:29:46
  Speaker 1: When you look at it, so many different personalities led
• 2:29:49
  Speaker 1: by one bizarrely fascinating man who honestly should not be successful.
• 2:29:58
  Speaker 1: He re Dave Portnoy should not be successful. He is just,
• 2:30:02
  Speaker 1: he is.
• 2:30:03
  Speaker 3: Why do you say that?
• 2:30:04
  Speaker 1: He's, he's, he is the guy fucking pounding his head
• 2:30:08
  Speaker 1: against the system going, fuck him. Fuck him. He's the guy,
• 2:30:11
  Speaker 1: like he just, he's doing everything that you're not supposed
• 2:30:15
  Speaker 1: to do. And it's winning. Like it's fucking, I find
• 2:30:18
  Speaker 1: Dave Portnoy to be fucking fascinating. He makes trophies for people.
• 2:30:22
  Speaker 1: He has vendettas against champagne, champagne bottles.
• 2:30:25
  Speaker 3: It's incredible.
• 2:30:26
  Speaker 1: You're not supposed to say that out loud.
• 2:30:27
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 2:30:28
  Speaker 1: He says it out loud and I root for him.
• 2:30:30
  Speaker 3: He's a man of the people. He really is a
• 2:30:34
  Speaker 3: man of the people.
• 2:30:34
  Speaker 1: There's very few people that have recognized me where I
• 2:30:37
  Speaker 1: got starstruck when they recognized me. Dave Portnoy. I did
• 2:30:41
  Speaker 1: Big Cat's podcast in LA when something was in LA.
• 2:30:44
  Speaker 1: I don't forget it was in LA. And I was
• 2:30:45
  Speaker 1: walking down and Portnoy was having lunch by himself at
• 2:30:48
  Speaker 1: the hotel. And he was like, Bert, what's up? And
• 2:30:50
  Speaker 1: I went, shut the fuck up. Like, I find that guy.
• 2:30:53
  Speaker 3: Fascinating.
• 2:30:54
  Speaker 2: He is a fascinating individual.
• 2:30:55
  Speaker 1: He says exactly what he wants to say. And look,
• 2:30:59
  Speaker 1: we all do that, but kind of. Like, I do
• 2:31:02
  Speaker 1: kind of. You're like, unapologetically.
• 2:31:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you mean.
• 2:31:06
  Speaker 2: He's like the intrusive thoughts you have, like the good
• 2:31:09
  Speaker 2: wolf and the bad wolf, the story, like, which one
• 2:31:11
  Speaker 2: are you going to feed?
• 2:31:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:31:12
  Speaker 2: He is essentially everyone's inner bad wolf that is just
• 2:31:15
  Speaker 2: saying what they want.
• 2:31:16
  Speaker 1: Dude.
• 2:31:17
  Speaker 2: And people being like, yeah, I've thought that before, too.
• 2:31:19
  Speaker 2: I got to get behind this guy going against the man.
• 2:31:22
  Speaker 1: If I could go back in time, I'd invest all
• 2:31:24
  Speaker 1: my money in barstool. I don't think barstool is where
• 2:31:26
  Speaker 1: it's going to be. I really think, I really sincerely
• 2:31:29
  Speaker 1: think barstool is going to be something that's going to
• 2:31:30
  Speaker 1: be so I invest money right now in barstool. There's
• 2:31:34
  Speaker 1: the way this is, the energy this has is so
• 2:31:38
  Speaker 1: fascinating to me because it's not like, you know, we
• 2:31:43
  Speaker 1: implode when we try to team up, you know, like
• 2:31:45
  Speaker 1: when we, when we, when everyone, Like egos get involved
• 2:31:49
  Speaker 1: with comics and it's not healthy.
• 2:31:52
  Speaker 3: Man, like- For Barstool, it's like have a camera on that.
• 2:31:56
  Speaker 3: We're breaking down the implosion.
• 2:31:58
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 2:31:59
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 2:31:59
  Speaker 2: It's like instead of like hushing up like, hey, we
• 2:32:01
  Speaker 2: had an issue between Bert and Will this weekend. Let's
• 2:32:04
  Speaker 2: just make sure we're sensitive to people's feelings. They're like, oh,
• 2:32:06
  Speaker 2: there's conflict going on. Make sure that's filmed. Dude, I
• 2:32:08
  Speaker 2: find that- And then everyone picks sides and then they
• 2:32:10
  Speaker 2: duke it out.
• 2:32:11
  Speaker 1: But in a weird way, everyone picks sides. And I've
• 2:32:13
  Speaker 1: picked sides on watching Barstool feuds and then also not cared. Like- I, I, I,
• 2:32:19
  Speaker 1: the only thing I ever, I got really drunk one
• 2:32:21
  Speaker 1: night and watched a documentary on Pete Rose and I
• 2:32:23
  Speaker 1: started to, I think I might've texted you guys. I
• 2:32:24
  Speaker 1: started DMing everyone about like, we need to get on,
• 2:32:27
  Speaker 1: we need to get Pete Rose in the hall of fame.
• 2:32:29
  Speaker 1: The only person that was a passionate enough about that
• 2:32:32
  Speaker 1: was big. He was the only one that replied. He
• 2:32:35
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm fucking, he definitely deserves to be in
• 2:32:37
  Speaker 1: the hall of fame. It's, it's, it's such a unique, uh,
• 2:32:43
  Speaker 1: a thing. There should be a class taught about it.
• 2:32:45
  Speaker 1: And why doesn't, why isn't.
• 2:32:47
  Speaker 3: There a WWE media?
• 2:32:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:32:49
  Speaker 3: Like all the storylines that go on, all the feuds,
• 2:32:52
  Speaker 3: all the successes.
• 2:32:53
  Speaker 1: And Dave Portnoy has a beautiful left-handed swing. He does.
• 2:32:57
  Speaker 1: He legit.
• 2:32:58
  Speaker 2: Good ball player.
• 2:32:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:32:59
  Speaker 1: I think he's, well, I think a lot of left-handed
• 2:33:01
  Speaker 1: swings are beautiful, but he's like legit a good baseball player.
• 2:33:06
  Speaker 1: I fucking, I find Dave Portnoy fascinating. I also find
• 2:33:08
  Speaker 1: it fascinating that he got, he is so rich, but
• 2:33:10
  Speaker 1: he got rich by himself. Yeah.
• 2:33:12
  Speaker 2: Stuff in newspapers.
• 2:33:15
  Speaker 3: He did it by himself.
• 2:33:16
  Speaker 1: He also doesn't have rich friends.
• 2:33:18
  Speaker 3: Nice.
• 2:33:20
  Speaker 1: I have a much better swing.
• 2:33:24
  Speaker 3: Okay, Dave. That's young Dave right there.
• 2:33:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:33:27
  Speaker 2: What year is this?
• 2:33:29
  Speaker 1: This is a long time ago. This is how long.
• 2:33:31
  Speaker 3: I was just going to say, he's got a really
• 2:33:33
  Speaker 3: bad shoulder.
• 2:33:35
  Speaker 1: That was great.
• 2:33:36
  Speaker 2: Even the follow through looks pretty.
• 2:33:37
  Speaker 3: He does get a little cut.
• 2:33:39
  Speaker 1: No, the follow through is what makes a swing.
• 2:33:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:33:40
  Speaker 1: And by the way, he's also skinny. So like when
• 2:33:42
  Speaker 1: you're skinny, you can, all swings look a lot better.
• 2:33:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:33:44
  Speaker 1: When you swing as a fat guy, pull a Burt
• 2:33:46
  Speaker 1: Kreiser swing. When you swing as a fat guy, your
• 2:33:48
  Speaker 1: fucking rotations, that wasn't beautiful.
• 2:33:50
  Speaker 3: No.
• 2:33:50
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know why we slow him on
• 2:33:52
  Speaker 2: that one, but.
• 2:33:52
  Speaker 3: And who's his pitcher though? He hit him with an off-seat.
• 2:33:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I made one mistake in my career that I
• 2:33:59
  Speaker 1: can highlight, and that was not being a part of
• 2:34:01
  Speaker 1: the Barstool family. I was offered it. You were offered Barstool?
• 2:34:06
  Speaker 1: I was offered a piece. I know that right now
• 2:34:09
  Speaker 1: there's a couple people going, Bert, let's just drop this.
• 2:34:12
  Speaker 1: But look at this swing. But it was fat Bert, too.
• 2:34:17
  Speaker 3: When was this?
• 2:34:18
  Speaker 1: This was 275 Bert. No, when was the Barstool offer?
• 2:34:23
  Speaker 1: It was a while ago.
• 2:34:25
  Speaker 2: It just panics, takes his shirt off.
• 2:34:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:34:28
  Speaker 1: It was a while ago. But it was like, the
• 2:34:31
  Speaker 1: writing was on the wall that like what you guys
• 2:34:33
  Speaker 1: are doing is cool as fuck. And I knew it,
• 2:34:35
  Speaker 1: I could tell it. And I was looking at like
• 2:34:37
  Speaker 1: numbers of podcasts and none of the numbers were like skyrocketing,
• 2:34:40
  Speaker 1: but I was like, dude, this is the future. This
• 2:34:42
  Speaker 1: is the future. This is what really this, what Barstool's
• 2:34:45
  Speaker 1: doing is what Rogan kind of started, but he just
• 2:34:47
  Speaker 1: never put a brand on it. He just was like, Yo,
• 2:34:50
  Speaker 1: we'll keep our drama internal. Right. Bert's fat. Tom's making
• 2:34:54
  Speaker 1: fun of him. Let's talk about it on the podcast. Hey,
• 2:34:57
  Speaker 1: everyone get their own podcast. I'm going to listen to
• 2:34:59
  Speaker 1: your podcast. I'll talk about your podcast. I'm going to
• 2:35:01
  Speaker 1: put you over. It really is kind of like the
• 2:35:03
  Speaker 1: Rogan mainframe of like what was called Death Squad at
• 2:35:07
  Speaker 1: the time was all our podcasts. And it was, you know,
• 2:35:11
  Speaker 1: loose-fitting network of friends. But Barstool just monetized it on
• 2:35:15
  Speaker 1: a better– Like, I look at Twisted Tea, I look at, oh, dude,
• 2:35:19
  Speaker 1: I remember going to the offices of Barstool being like, dude,
• 2:35:22
  Speaker 1: I would excel in this fucking place. Like, creativity just
• 2:35:26
  Speaker 1: spills everywhere. I mean, they'd walk you in, you'd do
• 2:35:29
  Speaker 1: KFC radio, and then you'd go in and you'd eat
• 2:35:31
  Speaker 1: a bunch of different foods, and then you'd walk into
• 2:35:32
  Speaker 1: another room and do, sit down and talk about sports
• 2:35:34
  Speaker 1: with Big Cat, and then you'd walk into another room
• 2:35:36
  Speaker 1: and they'd go ask the internet questions. It was like, dude,
• 2:35:38
  Speaker 1: this is what it's supposed to be. This is the
• 2:35:40
  Speaker 1: fucking thing. And then you look at, like, what's the
• 2:35:42
  Speaker 1: hard seltzer that... What is high noon? Leanne loves fucking
• 2:35:47
  Speaker 1: high noon. These twisted teas are fucking amazing. You guys
• 2:35:50
  Speaker 1: brand partnerships are through the fucking next level. You know, I,
• 2:35:54
  Speaker 1: I think that was, I mean, I'm glad I'm dead
• 2:35:56
  Speaker 1: to what it did, you know, no regrets, but, but
• 2:35:58
  Speaker 1: I think that would have been, I should have been smart.
• 2:36:01
  Speaker 3: Maybe after next year, when you take a year off,
• 2:36:04
  Speaker 3: maybe I retire or a.
• 2:36:05
  Speaker 2: When you moved to Nashville, there's definitely a piece of
• 2:36:07
  Speaker 2: you that when you moved to Nashville, you're ready to, huh?
• 2:36:12
  Speaker 3: I know, yeah. Get a little chill up your spine.
• 2:36:14
  Speaker 3: A little creativity. What areas are you and Leigh-Anne looking at?
• 2:36:17
  Speaker 1: South.
• 2:36:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, so Franklin area, Lepus Fort area, Brentwood.
• 2:36:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay. She wants a lot of land. Here's what
• 2:36:23
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do. You need a Lepus Fort. Oh,
• 2:36:25
  Speaker 1: I already know. I got my life. Let me take
• 2:36:29
  Speaker 1: a drink. It feels so good when you have alcohol.
• 2:36:36
  Speaker 2: In you.
• 2:36:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
• 2:36:38
  Speaker 2: How much space do we have?
• 2:36:39
  Speaker 1: 30 minutes.
• 2:36:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, we have to hard cap it at 30 minutes
• 2:36:43
  Speaker 2: as our memory cards are losing.
• 2:36:45
  Speaker 1: First thing I'm going to do, we're going to buy
• 2:36:48
  Speaker 1: a lot of land and I'm going to build a
• 2:36:50
  Speaker 1: running track through the woods. I'm going to build it.
• 2:36:52
  Speaker 1: I'm going to dig it out with like a digger
• 2:36:54
  Speaker 1: and go through and build a running track. One and
• 2:36:57
  Speaker 1: a half mile loop. That's number one.
• 2:36:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, all right.
• 2:37:01
  Speaker 1: Number two, no one will be able to see or
• 2:37:03
  Speaker 1: hear me. I can walk around naked everywhere. We're going
• 2:37:05
  Speaker 1: to be on top of a mountain overlooking a beautiful sunset.
• 2:37:09
  Speaker 1: There's going to be a lake on this property. My
• 2:37:11
  Speaker 1: tour bus will be there. That's where I'll sleep, but
• 2:37:13
  Speaker 1: we're going to have a barn dominium. That's where Leanne's
• 2:37:14
  Speaker 1: going to live. I can't fucking wait. We're going to have,
• 2:37:17
  Speaker 1: Leanne just fell in love with this assault rifle, so
• 2:37:19
  Speaker 1: we're going to have assault rifles out there.
• 2:37:20
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah.
• 2:37:21
  Speaker 1: I'm getting it for Christmas.
• 2:37:22
  Speaker 3: Animals or no animals?
• 2:37:23
  Speaker 1: Dude, I'm taking animals to the next level.
• 2:37:27
  Speaker 3: Don't. Listen.
• 2:37:28
  Speaker 1: I'm buying endangered species. I'm buying, I'm going to have lynx.
• 2:37:32
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have big cats. Big cats are going
• 2:37:34
  Speaker 1: to roam my fucking property and I'm going to have
• 2:37:36
  Speaker 1: a litter of fucking doggo Argentinos. Pull up doggo Argentino. Yeah,
• 2:37:41
  Speaker 1: they're insane, bro. I'm going to have a fucking litter
• 2:37:43
  Speaker 1: of those bitches.
• 2:37:44
  Speaker 2: Let me see those things. Let me see them little boys.
• 2:37:45
  Speaker 1: Pull up doggo Argentino and then Savannah cats. Look at
• 2:37:49
  Speaker 1: that fucking beast.
• 2:37:50
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 2:37:51
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have all those ears cropped.
• 2:37:53
  Speaker 2: Can I be honest with you?
• 2:37:54
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 2:37:54
  Speaker 3: Don't crop the ears. Don't like the cropped ears. Don't
• 2:37:56
  Speaker 3: crop the ears. Whatever.
• 2:37:57
  Speaker 2: Hey, hey, your life, your choice.
• 2:38:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right. I'll circumcise them then. And then pull
• 2:38:03
  Speaker 1: up Savannah cat. Pull up Savannah cat. Look at that.
• 2:38:06
  Speaker 1: A butterfly on his fucking nose. Now, wait till you
• 2:38:07
  Speaker 1: see these cats I'm going to have fucking running around
• 2:38:09
  Speaker 1: my property. Savannah cat. These things are fucking huge.
• 2:38:16
  Speaker 2: Looks like a.
• 2:38:18
  Speaker 1: They're fucking massive. They're like 70 pounds.
• 2:38:21
  Speaker 2: Looks like little bobcats.
• 2:38:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm going to have a ton of those. I'm
• 2:38:23
  Speaker 1: a few parrots. I'm going to have some macaws. I'm
• 2:38:27
  Speaker 1: going to really just have a fucking wild kingdom.
• 2:38:29
  Speaker 2: I'm never coming over.
• 2:38:30
  Speaker 1: Look at that thing. Look at that thing. Look at
• 2:38:31
  Speaker 1: that thing. Look at that thing.
• 2:38:33
  Speaker 4: Get up there again.
• 2:38:34
  Speaker 2: Let me see that.
• 2:38:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, God.
• 2:38:35
  Speaker 3: Get up.
• 2:38:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. Right?
• 2:38:39
  Speaker 3: They know how to open doors.
• 2:38:40
  Speaker 2: They know probably a lot more than we know.
• 2:38:41
  Speaker 1: Here's my question, though. Now, here's my thing. And I'm
• 2:38:43
  Speaker 1: going to lean on you guys for this. For real.
• 2:38:45
  Speaker 1: And we did this when we moved... to LA when
• 2:38:48
  Speaker 1: we moved to the Valley, I want to make friends.
• 2:38:52
  Speaker 1: Like I want to have regular friends.
• 2:38:55
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 2:38:55
  Speaker 1: All right. So like, and I'm going to like, cause
• 2:38:58
  Speaker 1: like I can't just move here and then just be
• 2:39:00
  Speaker 1: friends with you guys and jelly roll and earnest and
• 2:39:03
  Speaker 1: like celebrities, you know, like I want to have also
• 2:39:07
  Speaker 1: regular friends. not better than you guys, but like, no,
• 2:39:12
  Speaker 1: but like a step above. Yeah.
• 2:39:14
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 2:39:14
  Speaker 1: Okay. But no, but no, but I know.
• 2:39:15
  Speaker 3: People that are, people that are in town, not on
• 2:39:17
  Speaker 3: the road all the time. Yeah.
• 2:39:18
  Speaker 1: Like I want to, like, I want to, because we're
• 2:39:20
  Speaker 1: going to spend, I think we're spent half our year
• 2:39:22
  Speaker 1: here and then half our year in LA. And I
• 2:39:24
  Speaker 1: was like, I was like, yeah, but we move here.
• 2:39:26
  Speaker 1: We're like, we, we should like, like hang out with people. Community.
• 2:39:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:39:30
  Speaker 1: Be a part of the community. Like I, here's my
• 2:39:32
  Speaker 1: big thing. I want to throw a party every year,
• 2:39:35
  Speaker 1: like one party. Okay.
• 2:39:37
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you about national parties. In groups of people,
• 2:39:41
  Speaker 2: people lay claims to parties. Like, oh, so-and-so does the
• 2:39:44
  Speaker 2: Halloween party. The Rhett family, they, along with Talon, do
• 2:39:49
  Speaker 2: the Halloween party at their farm. We do the Luans,
• 2:39:53
  Speaker 2: we do the Easter party.
• 2:39:56
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 2:39:56
  Speaker 2: And so there's always.
• 2:39:58
  Speaker 3: Time out, there's a Halloween party coming alive this year.
• 2:40:01
  Speaker 2: At our house, yeah. But that's actually Wynne Brainchild, my
• 2:40:04
  Speaker 2: oldest daughter, Wynne Rebel Luan. She has a little brainchild.
• 2:40:06
  Speaker 3: Christmas, Thanksgiving.
• 2:40:09
  Speaker 1: You got to go obscure. Pull up holidays. Pull up
• 2:40:11
  Speaker 1: obscure holidays.
• 2:40:12
  Speaker 3: Flag day.
• 2:40:12
  Speaker 2: Flag day. President's day.
• 2:40:14
  Speaker 1: Arbor day.
• 2:40:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Arbor day. Or just Monday night football.
• 2:40:17
  Speaker 2: Dude, have you been to Oregon? Of course you've been
• 2:40:19
  Speaker 2: to Oregon. How amazing is the trees in Oregon? Are
• 2:40:23
  Speaker 2: they fucking unbelievable or what?
• 2:40:25
  Speaker 1: They're fucking next level. Yes. Do you know? Do you know?
• 2:40:29
  Speaker 1: Here's what's wrong with me. This is why I'm insufferable. Okay.
• 2:40:33
  Speaker 1: This is why I'm insufferable. All right. Everything you say,
• 2:40:36
  Speaker 1: I've done it times 10. Yeah. Do you know I
• 2:40:40
  Speaker 1: climbed to the top of the redwoods and hung out
• 2:40:43
  Speaker 1: for roughly two hours at the top of the redwoods?
• 2:40:45
  Speaker 3: Like a tree?
• 2:40:46
  Speaker 1: A tree.
• 2:40:46
  Speaker 2: You climbed up a tree?
• 2:40:47
  Speaker 1: I jugged up a redwood. Jugging is when you get
• 2:40:51
  Speaker 1: the rope and you do this. Okay. I jugged to
• 2:40:53
  Speaker 1: the top of a redwood and hung out for two hours.
• 2:40:55
  Speaker 1: Did you smoke?
• 2:40:57
  Speaker 2: No.
• 2:40:57
  Speaker 1: I was stone sober and terrified. It is wild how
• 2:41:00
  Speaker 1: quiet it is. And how the wind talks to you.
• 2:41:03
  Speaker 1: And the trees move. And you can feel. You can
• 2:41:06
  Speaker 1: see the wind coming by the trees moving. And then
• 2:41:08
  Speaker 1: it hits you.
• 2:41:09
  Speaker 3: It is surreal.
• 2:41:10
  Speaker 1: Everything you've ever talked about in anything in life. That's
• 2:41:13
  Speaker 1: me at the top of the Redwood. We bungee jumped
• 2:41:16
  Speaker 1: off it.
• 2:41:18
  Speaker 2: God, that is so cool.
• 2:41:20
  Speaker 1: Dude, I.
• 2:41:21
  Speaker 2: When we were in Eugene, we like went and walked through.
• 2:41:24
  Speaker 1: Sober.
• 2:41:24
  Speaker 2: I haven't smoked or anything. And me, JP, and Garrett.
• 2:41:29
  Speaker 2: We're kind of walking through a Willis coming to meet
• 2:41:30
  Speaker 2: us and we just find these trees. And it was like,
• 2:41:33
  Speaker 2: I'm like touching the trees and feeling the texture of
• 2:41:35
  Speaker 2: the trees. Some of them felt like foam. Some of
• 2:41:36
  Speaker 2: them felt hard. And I was like, this is like
• 2:41:38
  Speaker 2: the most incredible vegetation I've ever seen in my life.
• 2:41:42
  Speaker 1: One day I'll do a podcast where I tell you
• 2:41:44
  Speaker 1: all the stuff I've done that you'd never believe. Like
• 2:41:47
  Speaker 1: slept in the world's largest cave in Vietnam. Six hour
• 2:41:50
  Speaker 1: hike in, six hour hike out. The cave's so big
• 2:41:53
  Speaker 1: the Empire State Building could fit inside the cave. Stayed
• 2:41:56
  Speaker 1: in there for a night. When I was on Travel Channel,
• 2:41:57
  Speaker 1: I did the craziest things. Someone said to me the
• 2:42:00
  Speaker 1: other day, have you ever swam with sharks? I was
• 2:42:01
  Speaker 1: talking to a surfer. He's like, have you ever swam
• 2:42:03
  Speaker 1: with sharks? I said, I've swam with great white sharks
• 2:42:05
  Speaker 1: out of the cage. I've swam with great white sharks
• 2:42:07
  Speaker 1: in the cage. That's the cave. It's fucking insane.
• 2:42:10
  Speaker 2: Does it really look like that?
• 2:42:11
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 2:42:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:42:12
  Speaker 2: Or is it like a filter?
• 2:42:13
  Speaker 1: Uh-uh.
• 2:42:14
  Speaker 2: Because that's always.
• 2:42:15
  Speaker 1: Type in Bert Kreischer in this cave. Type Bert Kreischer
• 2:42:18
  Speaker 1: in Vietnam cave.
• 2:42:19
  Speaker 2: Dude, actually, first type in Bert Kreischer in this cave.
• 2:42:22
  Speaker 2: Just type in that.
• 2:42:23
  Speaker 1: I want to see what comes up. It's two bears,
• 2:42:25
  Speaker 1: one cave.
• 2:42:25
  Speaker 2: You got two bears.
• 2:42:26
  Speaker 1: Fair enough. Fair enough. That's a fair thing. But it's...
• 2:42:32
  Speaker 1: I've swam with sharks probably 10 times. I've swam with
• 2:42:38
  Speaker 1: whale sharks. I've swam with... Have you swam with orcas?
• 2:42:42
  Speaker 1: I almost did. Do you remember?
• 2:42:43
  Speaker 3: I want that so bad. So they do that in.
• 2:42:46
  Speaker 1: Our buddy, John Manns, one of my best buddies, he
• 2:42:49
  Speaker 1: does that in Norway every year. They go out.
• 2:42:52
  Speaker 3: Really? Yeah, Norway's a spot.
• 2:42:54
  Speaker 2: That's where you do it?
• 2:42:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:42:55
  Speaker 2: And you can actually swim with them there?
• 2:42:56
  Speaker 1: You swim with them. You go out and they fucking...
• 2:42:59
  Speaker 1: They're cool as shit.
• 2:43:00
  Speaker 2: Is it true that no one has ever been killed?
• 2:43:02
  Speaker 2: There's never been a recorded kill of a great white
• 2:43:05
  Speaker 2: shark outside of captivity?
• 2:43:06
  Speaker 1: Okay, once again, we're going into a bird crash rabbit hole. Okay.
• 2:43:09
  Speaker 1: I believe the second we released, we stopped having SeaWorld
• 2:43:12
  Speaker 1: with the great killer whales, they started retaliating against us.
• 2:43:16
  Speaker 1: Have you noticed that they're attacking boats like crazy now?
• 2:43:19
  Speaker 2: There was a whole thing about that. Weren't you and
• 2:43:20
  Speaker 2: Jack talking about that one time? Big orca individuals here.
• 2:43:24
  Speaker 2: I'm also a fan.
• 2:43:25
  Speaker 1: It never happened before. I'm a big fan too. I'm
• 2:43:27
  Speaker 1: a big SeaWorld fan. But the second we didn't have
• 2:43:29
  Speaker 1: Shamu anymore, that's me with Great White Sharks right there.
• 2:43:33
  Speaker 1: It's me in the cage. You see the picture? To
• 2:43:36
  Speaker 1: the right. That's my daughter's in the cage. Have you
• 2:43:38
  Speaker 1: ever swam with sharks?
• 2:43:39
  Speaker 3: No.
• 2:43:40
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 2:43:40
  Speaker 3: The black tip? Is that something right?
• 2:43:43
  Speaker 1: That's me inside the cage. That's a Great White Shark.
• 2:43:46
  Speaker 3: I've swam with those.
• 2:43:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:43:48
  Speaker 2: Did you? Hawaii?
• 2:43:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah. No, out in Bora Bora for the honeymoon. Nice.
• 2:43:53
  Speaker 1: Motorcycle. You know what's so crazy? I was listening to
• 2:43:55
  Speaker 1: a podcast the other day about, this is when I
• 2:43:57
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm spinning out of control. I was listening
• 2:43:59
  Speaker 1: to a podcast about Sitting Bull, right? And Custard's Last Stand. Okay.
• 2:44:05
  Speaker 1: Custard's Last Stand was in- Dallas. No, no.
• 2:44:09
  Speaker 3: Clue? The library?
• 2:44:11
  Speaker 2: San Clemente.
• 2:44:12
  Speaker 1: The revolver? Omaha. It was in the Dakotas. It was
• 2:44:15
  Speaker 1: in North Dakota.
• 2:44:16
  Speaker 2: Got you.
• 2:44:16
  Speaker 1: Sturges.
• 2:44:16
  Speaker 2: Sturges.
• 2:44:17
  Speaker 1: This is near Sturgis.
• 2:44:18
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 2:44:19
  Speaker 1: It's near Sturgis. It is. I only know that because I,
• 2:44:23
  Speaker 1: I was, I reenacted Custer's Last Stand with those, with Lakotas.
• 2:44:29
  Speaker 1: I think it's Lakotas. At the actual place. We had
• 2:44:32
  Speaker 1: hunted buffalo with the Crow Nation that evening. We hunted buffalo.
• 2:44:37
  Speaker 1: One of the most beautiful motorcycles. Are you a motorcycle guy?
• 2:44:40
  Speaker 2: I enjoy motorcycles quite a bit. I'm not a Harley guy,
• 2:44:42
  Speaker 2: but I grew up on dirt bikes. Freestyle motocross was
• 2:44:44
  Speaker 2: my first love of my life.
• 2:44:46
  Speaker 1: We hunt buffalo at sunset. We land a helicopter on
• 2:44:48
  Speaker 1: top of a mountain. I get on my motorcycle. It's
• 2:44:50
  Speaker 1: an Indian Chief. No, no, no. It was a Victory Judge.
• 2:44:54
  Speaker 1: And I get on the motorcycle, and I start riding
• 2:44:56
  Speaker 1: through the hills of Montana. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. And a pack
• 2:45:01
  Speaker 1: of wild horses catches up with me on top of
• 2:45:04
  Speaker 1: a fucking mountain. And I'm listening to Wilco. <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL>
• 2:45:11
  Speaker 1: And I'm going fucking 30 miles an hour with horses
• 2:45:13
  Speaker 1: racing next to me going like, what fucking world am
• 2:45:16
  Speaker 1: I living in? Then we take it over to where
• 2:45:18
  Speaker 1: Sitting Bull had his last, Gus had his last stand.
• 2:45:20
  Speaker 1: And they reenacted the thing. The kids, they do this thing.
• 2:45:23
  Speaker 1: If they touch you, it's more insulting than if they
• 2:45:25
  Speaker 1: kill you. The idea that an Indian could get it,
• 2:45:27
  Speaker 1: a Native American could get it close enough to touch
• 2:45:30
  Speaker 1: you but not hurt you was more insulting than dying itself.
• 2:45:34
  Speaker 1: And they did that to me nonstop. They put me
• 2:45:36
  Speaker 1: on a horse and they just came up just screaming,
• 2:45:38
  Speaker 1: fucking all painted yellow, naked on fucking horses, little loincloth
• 2:45:42
  Speaker 1: just touching me and just, it was fucking insane. Yeah, dude,
• 2:45:45
  Speaker 1: I lived a crazy fucking life. The Travel Channel stuff
• 2:45:47
  Speaker 1: I did, or one day I'll talk about it on something,
• 2:45:49
  Speaker 1: but it's like the, for fucking seven years, I traveled
• 2:45:53
  Speaker 1: around the world over and over again, just around the world.
• 2:45:56
  Speaker 1: You'd pick a map and you'd get a map and
• 2:45:58
  Speaker 1: you'd go, where do you want to go? And I'd go,
• 2:46:00
  Speaker 1: I've heard of Tanzania. What is that like? And then
• 2:46:03
  Speaker 1: you'd be like, well, you can also go to Zanzibar.
• 2:46:05
  Speaker 1: You're like, is that a real place? And then we
• 2:46:07
  Speaker 1: just traveled the fucking world. It was insane.
• 2:46:15
  Speaker 3: You've lived a good life, bro.
• 2:46:16
  Speaker 2: I've lived a fantastic life.
• 2:46:17
  Speaker 1: I really have.
• 2:46:17
  Speaker 2: Sounds like you're ready for the calm a little bit.
• 2:46:20
  Speaker 2: It feels like you're ready for the calm. You'll be
• 2:46:22
  Speaker 2: having more stories after this next year.
• 2:46:24
  Speaker 3: Nope.
• 2:46:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you will.
• 2:46:25
  Speaker 3: Cause you'd be traveling.
• 2:46:26
  Speaker 1: Just be quiet. Uh, I'm thinking about, here's okay. So, so,
• 2:46:29
  Speaker 1: so real quick, why don't we wrap up? So I'm
• 2:46:31
  Speaker 1: thinking of places.
• 2:46:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:46:32
  Speaker 2: We had two things also, but go ahead.
• 2:46:34
  Speaker 1: What's one thing. So I'm thinking of like things that Leanne,
• 2:46:36
  Speaker 1: Leanne wants to go on safari. She wants to go
• 2:46:38
  Speaker 1: on safari. So I'm going to take her to, I'm
• 2:46:39
  Speaker 1: going to take her to Africa. But then I was like, yo,
• 2:46:42
  Speaker 1: you're in Africa, right? I want to go down the Nile.
• 2:46:45
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 2:46:45
  Speaker 1: I want to see the pyramids. Yeah. Right. So then
• 2:46:48
  Speaker 1: you go, okay, so let's take a month. Let's do Africa.
• 2:46:51
  Speaker 1: Let's do, let's do Africa. Let's go to the Maldives.
• 2:46:54
  Speaker 1: Let's go. Like, I'm not just going to go to
• 2:46:56
  Speaker 1: fucking do one thing. We don't have kids anymore. They're
• 2:46:58
  Speaker 1: in fucking college. Let's go do the thing. It's like Nashville.
• 2:47:02
  Speaker 1: It's like we're here in Nashville. It's like, you know,
• 2:47:04
  Speaker 1: spend the week here. Yeah, let's look at houses. Then
• 2:47:06
  Speaker 1: we go to Oregon on Thursday and spend the weekend
• 2:47:10
  Speaker 1: in Oregon. And then we're home. And so Africa, what's
• 2:47:13
  Speaker 1: one thing you want to do? One thing you want
• 2:47:14
  Speaker 1: to see really badly in this world?
• 2:47:16
  Speaker 3: We'll go first.
• 2:47:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, orcas.
• 2:47:19
  Speaker 3: I would love this one with orcas.
• 2:47:20
  Speaker 1: Whales.
• 2:47:20
  Speaker 3: I think that's the top of my bucket list.
• 2:47:21
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 2:47:22
  Speaker 3: And I do think doing a safari here in South
• 2:47:23
  Speaker 3: Africa is incredible. Yeah. Doing like, you know, up early
• 2:47:26
  Speaker 3: in the morning, like getting close to some lions, like
• 2:47:29
  Speaker 3: close enough to death. But I think those two things
• 2:47:31
  Speaker 3: would be sick. Or get maybe in the jungle and
• 2:47:33
  Speaker 3: be amongst some gorillas. I think that would be really fun. Oh,
• 2:47:37
  Speaker 3: where they charge you and they go... Yeah, where you're
• 2:47:40
  Speaker 3: a little nervous, but you got the guide with you
• 2:47:43
  Speaker 3: telling you how to be and how to act, but
• 2:47:44
  Speaker 3: you're scared enough. You're like, I literally might have to
• 2:47:46
  Speaker 3: pick up a goat right here. Yeah. God, that sounds
• 2:47:50
  Speaker 3: actually terrifying. Lions, gorillas, and orcas.
• 2:47:52
  Speaker 1: Lions, gorillas, and orcas.
• 2:47:54
  Speaker 3: That would be my big three. Or amongst the wolves. Oh, yeah.
• 2:47:57
  Speaker 2: But you've done that.
• 2:47:58
  Speaker 3: You've done that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got to do
• 2:48:00
  Speaker 3: some wolves. Actually, down close to Tampa.
• 2:48:03
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 2:48:03
  Speaker 3: There's like this sanctuary of wolves.
• 2:48:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, I worked with wolves. Yeah.
• 2:48:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm sure you have.
• 2:48:08
  Speaker 1: That's amazing. For me, they smell like shit. Like just
• 2:48:12
  Speaker 1: give me a heads up. They weren't terrible. But wolves don't,
• 2:48:15
  Speaker 1: no one washes a wolf. That's one thing I learned.
• 2:48:18
  Speaker 2: The, uh, my wife, when we first met, she told me,
• 2:48:21
  Speaker 2: she's like the person I'm gonna spend the rest of
• 2:48:22
  Speaker 2: my life with. I'm going to go to Iceland with.
• 2:48:24
  Speaker 2: And we still to this day have not been to Iceland.
• 2:48:27
  Speaker 1: Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. You ready? So hold on. I'm sorry.
• 2:48:33
  Speaker 1: Leanne will not listen to this podcast. So I'm surprising
• 2:48:37
  Speaker 1: her with a trip. Okay. Okay. And we're going to,
• 2:48:42
  Speaker 1: she's always wanted to go to Paris. And so she
• 2:48:45
  Speaker 1: won't hear this. And by the way, don't fucking be
• 2:48:46
  Speaker 1: a dick and text her this. Just let this happen.
• 2:48:48
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, I'm already thinking about clipping it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:48:52
  Speaker 1: So we're doing a Two Bears Poroso signing in San Francisco.
• 2:48:57
  Speaker 1: And I was like, yo, I was like, the next
• 2:49:00
  Speaker 1: one's a week later in Tampa. I go, why don't
• 2:49:02
  Speaker 1: we just go to Paris for the fucking week? And
• 2:49:04
  Speaker 1: so I don't know. whether and i'm curious what you
• 2:49:08
  Speaker 1: would do in your relationship do i legit fucking surprise
• 2:49:12
  Speaker 1: her and go like i grab her passport i bring
• 2:49:15
  Speaker 1: no clothes just go like we're in san francisco and
• 2:49:17
  Speaker 1: go yo get on the next flight we're going and
• 2:49:19
  Speaker 1: she's like wait this isn't our flight no we're going
• 2:49:21
  Speaker 1: to paris do i do that or do i tell
• 2:49:23
  Speaker 1: her a week ahead of time and let her get
• 2:49:24
  Speaker 1: ready for it and bring clothes oh for.
• 2:49:27
  Speaker 2: Sure don't tell her don't tell her that's personally how's
• 2:49:30
  Speaker 2: your wife Is she a planner?
• 2:49:32
  Speaker 3: Oh, are you going to shop in San Francisco? You
• 2:49:34
  Speaker 3: know what I mean? Because I know, I know Charles,
• 2:49:36
  Speaker 3: she would like to, whatever spots we go to, to
• 2:49:38
  Speaker 3: eat dinner. Like she would have to, she would, she
• 2:49:40
  Speaker 3: would enjoy having her outfits picked out. So if you
• 2:49:43
  Speaker 3: do surprise her, it might be one of those things
• 2:49:45
  Speaker 3: where you land, you take her shopping in Paris to
• 2:49:47
  Speaker 3: get set outfits for dinner.
• 2:49:49
  Speaker 2: That's way better than being like, Hey, go pick out
• 2:49:51
  Speaker 2: some outfits. If you're going to, if you want to
• 2:49:53
  Speaker 2: spend that kind of money.
• 2:49:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah. But yeah, I'm surprised would be good, but I
• 2:49:57
  Speaker 3: do think, keep in mind how they want to be
• 2:49:59
  Speaker 3: for dinner and having everything kind of like, having some
• 2:50:01
  Speaker 3: type of, Hey, we're going to hit this restaurant. We're
• 2:50:02
  Speaker 3: going to hit that one. Yeah.
• 2:50:04
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about a bunch. I'm thinking about a bunch
• 2:50:06
  Speaker 1: of those trips, those trips going like last minute going, Hey,
• 2:50:11
  Speaker 1: we're going. Cause she's been really good about that. Like
• 2:50:12
  Speaker 1: she's been good about not telling me where we're going.
• 2:50:15
  Speaker 1: And they're all always concerts. We've been to Pearl jam.
• 2:50:17
  Speaker 1: We've been to like Eagles and it's been awesome. But like,
• 2:50:20
  Speaker 1: I like the surprise, but also I don't know, like
• 2:50:23
  Speaker 1: it's kind of a bro move.
• 2:50:24
  Speaker 3: Be like, I would say my wife would love the
• 2:50:27
  Speaker 3: surprise and she would be even more surprised and more
• 2:50:30
  Speaker 3: excited knowing that I had some things planned out. being
• 2:50:33
  Speaker 3: like oh you you did this on your own type
• 2:50:35
  Speaker 3: of thing.
• 2:50:36
  Speaker 2: Like you pulled all this shit off and you're like
• 2:50:37
  Speaker 2: yeah i got everything taken care of see taylor knows
• 2:50:39
  Speaker 2: i'm not capable of like planning that much she would
• 2:50:42
  Speaker 2: be so incredibly excited if i was like hey guess
• 2:50:44
  Speaker 2: where we're going we're going to iceland we're going to
• 2:50:46
  Speaker 2: paris dude and i tell her what am i doing
• 2:50:48
  Speaker 2: about clothes i don't even know what to get back
• 2:50:49
  Speaker 2: don't worry about we're gonna get close when we get
• 2:50:50
  Speaker 2: there we'll get close when we get there that is
• 2:50:51
  Speaker 2: we get close when we get there to me and
• 2:50:53
  Speaker 2: for talent love surprises she's all fucking about surprises i'm
• 2:50:56
  Speaker 2: terrible at doing surprises so that personally, I think.
• 2:51:00
  Speaker 1: That's fucking awesome. I'm horrible at surprises. I just stole
• 2:51:01
  Speaker 1: this surprise on the podcast.
• 2:51:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:51:03
  Speaker 1: But like, she won't listen to it. And just be cool, everyone.
• 2:51:06
  Speaker 1: Don't send it to her.
• 2:51:07
  Speaker 2: We're not going to clip anything. We're not going to
• 2:51:09
  Speaker 2: clip any of this. We won't even have clips for
• 2:51:11
  Speaker 2: this show now. We're not even going to release it now.
• 2:51:14
  Speaker 1: How much would you sell this podcast for?
• 2:51:15
  Speaker 2: I don't think we can even do that.
• 2:51:18
  Speaker 1: Okay, if I said, I'll give you $ 30 million for
• 2:51:20
  Speaker 1: the podcast right now, would you sell it to me?
• 2:51:21
  Speaker 1: To have everything? No, but I get it. I get it.
• 2:51:23
  Speaker 1: I buy it for $ 30 million. I bet. I get it.
• 2:51:26
  Speaker 1: I give you $ 30 million and then I get to,
• 2:51:29
  Speaker 1: you guys keep doing it, but now I'm like a
• 2:51:32
  Speaker 1: 50-50 partner with you.
• 2:51:33
  Speaker 3: Oh, 50-50?
• 2:51:34
  Speaker 2: Oh, 50-50?
• 2:51:35
  Speaker 1: So no, you guys get 25 each, and then I
• 2:51:37
  Speaker 1: get 50% each. And then would you do that to
• 2:51:39
  Speaker 1: a company?
• 2:51:40
  Speaker 3: No.
• 2:51:41
  Speaker 1: Okay. Maybe.
• 2:51:42
  Speaker 2: $ 100 million.
• 2:51:44
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 2:51:45
  Speaker 1: $ 100 million? Oh, yeah.
• 2:51:46
  Speaker 2: $ 100 million, you have 80%.
• 2:51:48
  Speaker 1: You keep your IP, but you.
• 2:51:50
  Speaker 3: Am I calling the shots? Creative freedom for us?
• 2:51:53
  Speaker 1: No, no. I mean, yes, yes, but no.
• 2:51:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but if somebody calls and be like, we want
• 2:52:00
  Speaker 2: you to say this on the show.
• 2:52:01
  Speaker 1: Hey, man. I'm thinking it's my sponsors right now.
• 2:52:05
  Speaker 3: Hey.
• 2:52:06
  Speaker 2: Twisted Tea.
• 2:52:06
  Speaker 1: NASCAR has got an event. You're like, oh, yeah. Well,
• 2:52:09
  Speaker 1: we need you to do this NASCAR event. You're going
• 2:52:12
  Speaker 1: to have to fly down to Daytona. That's a bad
• 2:52:14
  Speaker 1: example because we're a sponsor of two bears. And I
• 2:52:17
  Speaker 1: like NASCAR a lot.
• 2:52:18
  Speaker 3: I was going to say.
• 2:52:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:52:20
  Speaker 3: Sounds cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll for sure do that. Yeah, right?
• 2:52:23
  Speaker 1: That's a bad one.
• 2:52:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, $ 30 million though.
• 2:52:26
  Speaker 1: What's the end game? What's the end game?
• 2:52:28
  Speaker 3: I don't think that's a great question.
• 2:52:29
  Speaker 1: That's where I'm at, where I'm like, what's my end game? Like,
• 2:52:31
  Speaker 1: do I do stand up forever? Do I do the
• 2:52:33
  Speaker 1: podcast forever? Do I, do I, is there a chance
• 2:52:36
  Speaker 1: that I retire? I will.
• 2:52:38
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you this about my personal end game. If
• 2:52:40
  Speaker 2: you asked me this a year ago, there was no
• 2:52:42
  Speaker 2: end game.
• 2:52:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:52:43
  Speaker 2: Now I literally, I talked about this in the podcast
• 2:52:45
  Speaker 2: a few times. I spent my first time in my
• 2:52:47
  Speaker 2: adult life was in Canada for a week and sat
• 2:52:50
  Speaker 2: there and was like, Oh fuck. I really am enjoying
• 2:52:53
  Speaker 2: doing nothing and just being with my family. And it's
• 2:52:55
  Speaker 2: really fucked me up since then. To where now I'm like, okay,
• 2:53:00
  Speaker 2: how do I eventually just do nothing? Or do only
• 2:53:04
  Speaker 2: the things that I really enjoy? How do I become
• 2:53:07
  Speaker 2: as involved of a dad as possible and around the
• 2:53:09
  Speaker 2: family 90% of the time as opposed to.
• 2:53:11
  Speaker 1: What about this? Does something, having something, does that keep
• 2:53:15
  Speaker 1: you healthy? Yes. Because something keeps me healthy. Nothing keeps
• 2:53:19
  Speaker 1: me very unhealthy.
• 2:53:19
  Speaker 3: Because I love to expand the brand. I love to
• 2:53:22
  Speaker 3: make this more of a locker room. Other athletes, just
• 2:53:25
  Speaker 3: other influencers, entertainers.
• 2:53:27
  Speaker 1: Were you doing... People moving to Nashville? Yeah.
• 2:53:30
  Speaker 2: Inside the walls at all times?
• 2:53:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I sold my soul to that fucking past fat guy.
• 2:53:33
  Speaker 3: To Will Smith in Hollywood. God.
• 2:53:36
  Speaker 1: I'm fucking in bed with Tommy so deep right now.
• 2:53:38
  Speaker 1: You have no idea. We have so much money together.
• 2:53:40
  Speaker 1: You don't have a choice.
• 2:53:41
  Speaker 3: It's fucking.
• 2:53:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But if there was a way for Bussin to
• 2:53:45
  Speaker 2: not just... Obviously, Will and I being the faces of it,
• 2:53:48
  Speaker 2: but having other people part of it. Like Delaney Walker.
• 2:53:51
  Speaker 2: He's been a person that's been... embedded into the fall
• 2:53:54
  Speaker 2: for us that's awesome he's a great personality he's great
• 2:53:56
  Speaker 2: to have around like having more people like that to
• 2:53:58
  Speaker 2: kind of like lift the load of the in front
• 2:54:01
  Speaker 2: of camera stuff would be.
• 2:54:02
  Speaker 1: Awesome yeah it's just such a great fucking thing you
• 2:54:06
  Speaker 1: guys have.
• 2:54:06
  Speaker 3: Built how real is this 30 million dollar offer.
• 2:54:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know i think that's where the future is
• 2:54:16
  Speaker 1: i think part of me no part of me goes
• 2:54:18
  Speaker 1: like okay Oh, man, I'm fucking.
• 2:54:21
  Speaker 3: You already know when he gets off here, he's going
• 2:54:23
  Speaker 3: to call Tom. Like, I was feeling him out a
• 2:54:25
  Speaker 3: little bit.
• 2:54:26
  Speaker 2: Sounds like we're going to buy him for... They said
• 2:54:27
  Speaker 2: for sure $ 100 million. So we have between $ 30 and
• 2:54:29
  Speaker 2: $ 100 to really figure out.
• 2:54:31
  Speaker 1: $ 30 is the working number. $ 30 is the working number.
• 2:54:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:54:34
  Speaker 1: No, I don't know. It's like you can tell what's
• 2:54:38
  Speaker 1: going to be good. Like, I could never have... I
• 2:54:41
  Speaker 1: could never have predicted where Pat McAfee is. Because when
• 2:54:44
  Speaker 1: he was doing it, it was just... There wasn't a...
• 2:54:48
  Speaker 1: a system in place to show you what was going
• 2:54:50
  Speaker 1: to happen. But now that you've seen what Packer McAfee
• 2:54:52
  Speaker 1: has done, you see the future of everything a little bit.
• 2:54:56
  Speaker 1: He laid fucking, I mean, it's amazing. Even still, look
• 2:55:02
  Speaker 1: at Rogan. Once you saw what Rogan did, you're like, wow.
• 2:55:05
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. Between the Rogan, the McAfee, the Barstool.
• 2:55:08
  Speaker 1: Very quickly, we look at Theo and we all go,
• 2:55:10
  Speaker 1: we know where this is going.
• 2:55:11
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 2:55:12
  Speaker 1: Right? Yeah. So you know there's dudes smarter than us going,
• 2:55:15
  Speaker 1: they know where this is going. Right. So then, then
• 2:55:20
  Speaker 1: that's what I find really fascinating. And then you look
• 2:55:22
  Speaker 1: at the kids that are, I say kids, but like,
• 2:55:24
  Speaker 1: you know, Dan Soder, you know, Dan Soder at all.
• 2:55:27
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 2:55:27
  Speaker 1: Dan Soder just started doing his own podcast and his
• 2:55:30
  Speaker 1: podcast is killing it. Very easily. You could go, I
• 2:55:33
  Speaker 1: know where that's going. Like, that's where I go. Like, okay,
• 2:55:36
  Speaker 1: so then what's the price point. And if you know
• 2:55:38
  Speaker 1: where it's going, the fucking Soder's podcast is a miss.
• 2:55:41
  Speaker 1: So Dan Soder is going to be, so you said,
• 2:55:43
  Speaker 1: who's the next guy for real? Dan Soder, Dan Soder.
• 2:55:47
  Speaker 1: is fucking brilliant. Legit, he will be doing an arena
• 2:55:50
  Speaker 1: tour next, in two years. 2026. 2026, he'll be doing
• 2:55:55
  Speaker 1: an arena tour. He's so fucking talented. He's so goddamn talented.
• 2:55:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's awesome. But it's, you know what I'm
• 2:56:02
  Speaker 1: saying though? Like, once you see the, like, that's why
• 2:56:05
  Speaker 1: you gotta, hats off to McAfee, is like, he saw
• 2:56:07
  Speaker 1: where it was going before anyone saw where it was going.
• 2:56:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, you guys kind of did too, but like,
• 2:56:11
  Speaker 1: he had this like crazy vision of like, Right. He's
• 2:56:15
  Speaker 1: a lot like Tommy in respects of him going like,
• 2:56:18
  Speaker 1: I don't care what people think. I'll do whatever I think.
• 2:56:21
  Speaker 1: And it's badass.
• 2:56:22
  Speaker 2: He even watched College Game Day. He's changed that show
• 2:56:25
  Speaker 2: and made it 10 times better. It was already a
• 2:56:26
  Speaker 2: fantastic show.
• 2:56:27
  Speaker 1: It was a great show. I watch it every... My
• 2:56:30
  Speaker 1: daughter hit me up. She was like, yo, we're going
• 2:56:33
  Speaker 1: to College Game Day.
• 2:56:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the atmosphere is electric.
• 2:56:36
  Speaker 1: She's like, do you know these guys? And I was like, yeah.
• 2:56:38
  Speaker 1: I know one of them. Yeah.
• 2:56:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:56:41
  Speaker 1: But, like, it's crazy. My daughter doesn't give a fuck
• 2:56:43
  Speaker 1: about football. She goes to college game day. Right. It's crazy. Yeah.
• 2:56:47
  Speaker 3: Best drink for college game day.
• 2:56:48
  Speaker 1: Go ahead, bitch.
• 2:56:49
  Speaker 3: Cut in any time.
• 2:56:50
  Speaker 1: All right, our Twisted Question this week. If you could
• 2:56:52
  Speaker 1: travel to any moment in sports history to help that
• 2:56:55
  Speaker 1: team win a game, what game is it, what team
• 2:56:58
  Speaker 1: is it, and what would you do differently to help
• 2:57:01
  Speaker 1: them win?
• 2:57:03
  Speaker 3: I think that's easy for me. What is it? 2012.
• 2:57:06
  Speaker 3: Big Ten Championship, Nebraska versus Wisconsin. I was there, but
• 2:57:09
  Speaker 3: it did say how well we do to help and
• 2:57:11
  Speaker 3: what circumstance it would be stopping the speed sweep or
• 2:57:15
  Speaker 3: the belly or any run that they threw at us
• 2:57:18
  Speaker 3: that day with Melvin Gordon, James Whiten, Monty Ball.
• 2:57:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:57:24
  Speaker 3: That would be the game I would change.
• 2:57:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you would have to have, like you're not,
• 2:57:28
  Speaker 2: you're not just going to change the game. You have
• 2:57:31
  Speaker 2: to now play out the game also. And it's just
• 2:57:33
  Speaker 2: like that run game, that offensive line.
• 2:57:36
  Speaker 3: But it says, what would you do to help that
• 2:57:38
  Speaker 3: team win? So ultimately we win the game. So we
• 2:57:40
  Speaker 3: win the Big Ten Championship. I'm a Big Ten Champion.
• 2:57:42
  Speaker 3: And I'm going to the Rose Bowl. And we're beating Stanford.
• 2:57:47
  Speaker 4: Do you believe you're able to change it?
• 2:57:49
  Speaker 3: Wait, you were there, right?
• 2:57:51
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 2:57:51
  Speaker 3: You could have changed it then. Right. In hindsight, hindsight,
• 2:57:56
  Speaker 3: now this twisted question comes to this whole different perspective.
• 2:57:58
  Speaker 3: What would you do differently? It'd be adjusting to the
• 2:58:02
  Speaker 3: speed sweep.
• 2:58:03
  Speaker 2: So I'm looking at this as like, how could I
• 2:58:05
  Speaker 2: go back and actually help that team win? Your example,
• 2:58:10
  Speaker 2: you were in that game.
• 2:58:12
  Speaker 4: You were there.
• 2:58:12
  Speaker 2: Mine would be the Super Bowl between the Falcons and
• 2:58:16
  Speaker 2: the Patriots. And I would just go in at halftime
• 2:58:18
  Speaker 2: when the Falcons are up 28-3 and be like, and
• 2:58:20
  Speaker 2: the coaches are talking, hey, if we throw this back,
• 2:58:22
  Speaker 2: I'd say, don't fucking throw it. just run the football.
• 2:58:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:58:26
  Speaker 2: Just run the football. Now I know, like, time is
• 2:58:30
  Speaker 2: going to be a factor. You guys are in four
• 2:58:32
  Speaker 2: minutes now. Stop worrying about it. Only throw it on
• 2:58:34
  Speaker 2: obvious passing downs. Now you're going to run the clock. Congratulations,
• 2:58:37
  Speaker 2: you won the Super Bowl. I have no dog in
• 2:58:39
  Speaker 2: that fight at all. I just think to myself, what
• 2:58:41
  Speaker 2: is the.
• 2:58:41
  Speaker 3: Or just hand the ball off to Marshawn Lynch in
• 2:58:44
  Speaker 3: that Super Bowl. Yeah, dude.
• 2:58:47
  Speaker 1: Marshawn Lynch is a fucking... Dude.
• 2:58:49
  Speaker 3: A dude.
• 2:58:50
  Speaker 1: I cried in front of him.
• 2:58:51
  Speaker 3: Did you?
• 2:58:51
  Speaker 1: Of course. It made him so uncomfortable.
• 2:58:53
  Speaker 2: How did he, I was going to say.
• 2:58:54
  Speaker 1: He said to me, he goes, he came up to
• 2:58:57
  Speaker 1: me and he goes, hey man, people say you can cry,
• 2:59:00
  Speaker 1: like on command. I said, yeah. He goes, how's that work?
• 2:59:02
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I just think of a sad thing.
• 2:59:05
  Speaker 1: He goes, let me see it. And so I did it.
• 2:59:07
  Speaker 1: And he went, oh, wow. And then we became friends. Yeah,
• 2:59:13
  Speaker 1: we were working together. We were working on Netflix as
• 2:59:15
  Speaker 1: a joke. I'm sure you can find me crying in
• 2:59:16
  Speaker 1: front of him. I've cried a lot. I'm not done.
• 2:59:20
  Speaker 1: What game would I change and how would I change it?
• 2:59:22
  Speaker 1: So when I was a kid, we were- Oh, I want.
• 2:59:25
  Speaker 2: To change mine, but go ahead.
• 2:59:26
  Speaker 1: Georgia last year?
• 2:59:27
  Speaker 3: Georgia last year?
• 2:59:28
  Speaker 1: Florida State? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 2:59:32
  Speaker 1: There's only one game where I saw something wrong and
• 2:59:35
  Speaker 1: I wished that people had seen it the way I
• 2:59:37
  Speaker 1: saw it. And I bet you can find the picture
• 2:59:39
  Speaker 1: of this. The Rams played the Bucs in 1981, 1980. Oh, wow.
• 2:59:45
  Speaker 3: I wasn't even born yet.
• 2:59:48
  Speaker 1: Are you serious?
• 2:59:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, 81, bro?
• 2:59:50
  Speaker 2: That was 10 years before I was born.
• 2:59:52
  Speaker 3: My dad graduated in 82.
• 2:59:53
  Speaker 1: How old are you guys? Oh, that's right. You guys
• 2:59:55
  Speaker 1: are athletes.
• 2:59:55
  Speaker 3: 33.
• 2:59:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. You guys are kids.
• 2:59:57
  Speaker 2: This boy right here is 35.
• 2:59:59
  Speaker 1: How old are you? I'm 51.
• 3:00:01
  Speaker 2: No fucking way.
• 3:00:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:00:03
  Speaker 3: That's a good number.
• 3:00:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So the last play. By the way, I'm 51
• 3:00:08
  Speaker 1: and I don't feel it at all. I still feel
• 3:00:11
  Speaker 1: like a child. I still call my dad. That's good.
• 3:00:14
  Speaker 1: I call my dad and I go, hey, should I
• 3:00:15
  Speaker 1: get wet A's or dry A's?
• 3:00:16
  Speaker 3: It's this play, I think.
• 3:00:18
  Speaker 1: It's this play. No, it wasn't that play. So one
• 3:00:23
  Speaker 1: of the last plays, the Bucs were down, they were
• 3:00:25
  Speaker 1: against the Rams, and from the shot they had as
• 3:00:30
  Speaker 1: a kid, it was a wide open field and Doug
• 3:00:34
  Speaker 1: Williams was trying to throw it. And I wanted at
• 3:00:36
  Speaker 1: that moment to say, run it up the middle. Just run.
• 3:00:40
  Speaker 1: You have the ball. You're the only one we promise
• 3:00:43
  Speaker 1: can do great. Just run it up the middle. It
• 3:00:45
  Speaker 1: was a picture. And I remember it so vividly. And
• 3:00:48
  Speaker 1: I've thought my whole life, I wonder if my life
• 3:00:50
  Speaker 1: would be different If the bucks had won and gone
• 3:00:53
  Speaker 1: to the super bowl that year, like, I just wonder
• 3:00:55
  Speaker 1: what things would have changed, what things would have changed
• 3:00:58
  Speaker 1: in the world. You know, I get really into the
• 3:00:59
  Speaker 1: weeds about like Charlie Murphy is the most important man
• 3:01:02
  Speaker 1: in standup comedy ever, ever. I would argue Charlie Murphy
• 3:01:06
  Speaker 1: is the reason we're all talking about the Chappelle show
• 3:01:08
  Speaker 1: to this day. That Eddie Murphy, that, that, uh, that
• 3:01:11
  Speaker 1: Rick James sketch.
• 3:01:13
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 3:01:13
  Speaker 1: It was fucking brilliant. Epic.
• 3:01:15
  Speaker 3: It was epic.
• 3:01:16
  Speaker 1: And that was the thing that pushed over the Chappelle show.
• 3:01:19
  Speaker 1: Chappelle's a genius. You'll never hear anything but me say that.
• 3:01:22
  Speaker 1: He is a goddamn genius. But that one sketch pushed
• 3:01:26
  Speaker 1: it over.
• 3:01:26
  Speaker 3: Think about this.
• 3:01:27
  Speaker 1: Charlie Murphy protected Eddie Murphy, a comic genius, in a
• 3:01:30
  Speaker 1: tough neighborhood. Charlie Murphy knew how to fight. Eddie Murphy
• 3:01:33
  Speaker 1: had him as a big brother. Charlie Murphy's so integral
• 3:01:36
  Speaker 1: to what we got out of comedy in this world.
• 3:01:39
  Speaker 1: I think it's underappreciated. But that moment, if the Bucks
• 3:01:43
  Speaker 1: had won the Super Bowl, Florida would be looked differently
• 3:01:46
  Speaker 1: for the rest of this fucking, every joke, so Florida's
• 3:01:48
  Speaker 1: a joke to everyone. But if we hadn't won the
• 3:01:50
  Speaker 1: goddamn Super Bowl, eh, it might have been different.
• 3:01:53
  Speaker 2: Eh, it might have been different.
• 3:01:55
  Speaker 1: I think about that a lot.
• 3:01:56
  Speaker 2: I'm changing my mind. I'm putting myself in a game
• 3:01:58
  Speaker 2: that I played in. 2013, Ohio State versus Michigan, 42-41.
• 3:02:02
  Speaker 2: We score, and we go for two for the win,
• 3:02:05
  Speaker 2: and we don't get it. We throw a pick. We
• 3:02:07
  Speaker 2: try to throw the ball to Drew Dillia. If I
• 3:02:08
  Speaker 2: went back, I would say run left.
• 3:02:13
  Speaker 1: How crazy would it be if you could go back
• 3:02:16
  Speaker 1: and you were like, Hey guys, run left. And they're like,
• 3:02:18
  Speaker 1: hold on, hold on.
• 3:02:20
  Speaker 2: They'd be like, Taylor, you've said that the entire game.
• 3:02:21
  Speaker 2: You need to stop saying that. That's what they would
• 3:02:23
  Speaker 2: say to me.
• 3:02:24
  Speaker 3: Shut the fuck up. We need more calls than just
• 3:02:26
  Speaker 3: Miami in 22 speed because they're going to live in
• 3:02:29
  Speaker 3: this personnel all game.
• 3:02:30
  Speaker 1: All right, go back then. Let's make it real for us.
• 3:02:33
  Speaker 1: Is there one podcast that you'd do differently?
• 3:02:37
  Speaker 3: One podcast?
• 3:02:37
  Speaker 1: Like, cause there was one time when we first did
• 3:02:39
  Speaker 1: sober October with Joe, He asked me how much I
• 3:02:41
  Speaker 1: drank and I told him the truth. And I got
• 3:02:44
  Speaker 1: in bed that night and I said, I think I'm
• 3:02:46
  Speaker 1: going to just ruin my career. And I remember going like,
• 3:02:49
  Speaker 1: I wish I could have never done that podcast. That
• 3:02:51
  Speaker 1: turns out it worked out fine. Everything works out fine.
• 3:02:53
  Speaker 1: But I look back at like those times where I go,
• 3:02:55
  Speaker 1: I wish I hadn't been so honest. I wish I
• 3:02:57
  Speaker 1: hadn't shared all of it. I wish I shared half
• 3:03:00
  Speaker 1: of the truth and just gone like, you know, but
• 3:03:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know in another way.
• 3:03:04
  Speaker 2: Is there a podcast that we've done?
• 3:03:06
  Speaker 1: That you go like, I could have done that differently.
• 3:03:12
  Speaker 3: Not really.
• 3:03:14
  Speaker 2: Who was the guy that we had on Zoom in 2020?
• 3:03:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, um.
• 3:03:20
  Speaker 3: The band was.
• 3:03:21
  Speaker 1: Old Dominion. Old Dominion.
• 3:03:22
  Speaker 2: Lead singer of Old Dominion.
• 3:03:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's not like.
• 3:03:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that wasn't his fault at all.
• 3:03:27
  Speaker 3: It was just.
• 3:03:28
  Speaker 2: The podcast was going to be like.
• 3:03:29
  Speaker 3: It was just a tough pod. Yeah. It was on Zoom. Yeah,
• 3:03:32
  Speaker 3: it was like during COVID.
• 3:03:32
  Speaker 2: But that's the one I always look back to. Everyone's like,
• 3:03:34
  Speaker 2: do you have a bad podcast? Because I feel like
• 3:03:37
  Speaker 2: no podcasts are bad. Matthew Ramsey, yeah.
• 3:03:41
  Speaker 1: Look at you!
• 3:03:44
  Speaker 2: You see the Compton and the Staley jerseys in the
• 3:03:45
  Speaker 2: background yeah that one that one it was like one
• 3:03:49
  Speaker 2: of the first ones we ever did over Zoom and
• 3:03:50
  Speaker 2: there was just like lag and Will and I would
• 3:03:52
  Speaker 2: talk over each other something masoned it look at that hair.
• 3:03:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah I don't think so me and Bill did one
• 3:04:00
  Speaker 1: with who's the I'm sorry I'm flaking on his name
• 3:04:08
  Speaker 1: sports broadcaster out of Miami sports broadcaster Levitard. We did
• 3:04:12
  Speaker 1: one with Levitard. Danny. Yeah. That I wish was, wasn't
• 3:04:15
  Speaker 1: out there.
• 3:04:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You wish was not out there.
• 3:04:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:04:19
  Speaker 2: What's the most fun podcast you've ever done where you
• 3:04:21
  Speaker 2: were like, man, I really had, I had no idea
• 3:04:24
  Speaker 2: it was going to be that good of a time,
• 3:04:25
  Speaker 2: but fuck, that was so much fun.
• 3:04:26
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you honestly, the first podcast I ever did
• 3:04:29
  Speaker 1: with Bill was like the first time we started doing
• 3:04:32
  Speaker 1: Bill Burt. Those first three ones we did, I mean like,
• 3:04:35
  Speaker 1: and I'm a fan of his, but like I was
• 3:04:37
  Speaker 1: fucking blown away. I was like, Cause you forget how
• 3:04:40
  Speaker 1: funny someone is and like that. And then, and then honestly,
• 3:04:44
  Speaker 1: I don't think I was doing two bears yet. I
• 3:04:47
  Speaker 1: think me and Tom had done one, but, uh, and
• 3:04:51
  Speaker 1: then when I started doing the first, the first two
• 3:04:52
  Speaker 1: bears ones, when, when the pandemic was kicking and we
• 3:04:55
  Speaker 1: started doing every week, dude, he, Tommy just had me every,
• 3:04:59
  Speaker 1: he just knew me so well. He had me rolling.
• 3:05:01
  Speaker 1: Those were the, I, if I could go back, I'd
• 3:05:05
  Speaker 1: erase all my podcasts I've ever done. And I just
• 3:05:07
  Speaker 1: have those first. Two Bears and the first Bill Burt's
• 3:05:10
  Speaker 1: were like, I was just like, I mean, I remember
• 3:05:14
  Speaker 1: the first one I did with Bill was like, I
• 3:05:16
  Speaker 1: walked off and I was like, I was like confidently going,
• 3:05:20
  Speaker 1: someone buy a new house. This is going to make
• 3:05:21
  Speaker 1: so much fucking money. I was like, this is, I
• 3:05:24
  Speaker 1: was like, he's fucking brilliant. I mean, he just would like,
• 3:05:28
  Speaker 1: I didn't say anything. And I got shit on. I
• 3:05:30
  Speaker 1: talk over everyone and I got shit on, on that podcast.
• 3:05:33
  Speaker 1: I would not talk. I swear to God on Bill Burt.
• 3:05:35
  Speaker 1: I would just sit and listen and laugh hysterically the
• 3:05:39
  Speaker 1: whole time. Same with like the beginning of two bears
• 3:05:42
  Speaker 1: was like, was like that. Those were fucking great. I'll
• 3:05:45
  Speaker 1: tell you what, the best podcast I've ever been a
• 3:05:47
  Speaker 1: part of end of the world with Joe Stanhope, me,
• 3:05:51
  Speaker 1: Bill was the, I mean, it was fucking insane. It
• 3:05:57
  Speaker 1: was insane. It was like Marilyn Manson was there. It
• 3:05:59
  Speaker 1: was like the craziest fucking night of our lives. I
• 3:06:02
  Speaker 1: didn't think you'd do a Joe. The first, I mean, the, the,
• 3:06:04
  Speaker 1: The hardest I've ever laughed on a podcast without a
• 3:06:06
  Speaker 1: doubt is when Tom shaved my beard on, uh, Tom
• 3:06:09
  Speaker 1: shaved my beard on Rogan for the weight loss challenge.
• 3:06:13
  Speaker 1: He shaved it and he, as he was shaving and
• 3:06:14
  Speaker 1: I said, does it look good? And he looked in
• 3:06:17
  Speaker 1: his eyes. He's like, no. And I couldn't, the two
• 3:06:20
  Speaker 1: of us laughing, it's the closest I've ever had to
• 3:06:22
  Speaker 1: having sex with a man. Like me and him laughing
• 3:06:24
  Speaker 1: in each other's eyes in that moment was like such
• 3:06:27
  Speaker 1: a pure joy. Like I fucking was crying. And he's
• 3:06:32
  Speaker 1: just laughing, shaving me, making me look like a Puerto
• 3:06:34
  Speaker 1: Rican guy. Look at this. Look how fat Tommy was.
• 3:06:38
  Speaker 3: God.
• 3:06:40
  Speaker 1: Look at this. This is the moment. You ready? This
• 3:06:43
  Speaker 1: is Joe recording it, by the way. This is how
• 3:06:45
  Speaker 1: long ago Joe was.
• 3:06:50
  Speaker 3: God, those are the good laughs.
• 3:06:52
  Speaker 1: Dude, play that at my funeral. Play it at my
• 3:06:55
  Speaker 1: funeral if I even have one. I don't know if
• 3:06:57
  Speaker 1: that's real. The whole death thing. If I ever have one.
• 3:07:00
  Speaker 2: It's like 500 years from now.
• 3:07:01
  Speaker 3: You're like, see?
• 3:07:02
  Speaker 2: It doesn't exist.
• 3:07:03
  Speaker 1: I hung up with a dude that was 93 the
• 3:07:05
  Speaker 1: other day.
• 3:07:05
  Speaker 2: That's like major main character syndrome.
• 3:07:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, I got main character syndrome.
• 3:07:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 3:07:09
  Speaker 2: But I'm saying like just to not believe in death
• 3:07:11
  Speaker 2: is like, okay. Everyone dies.
• 3:07:14
  Speaker 1: Has it happened to you?
• 3:07:15
  Speaker 3: No.
• 3:07:16
  Speaker 2: But I'm the main character.
• 3:07:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:07:18
  Speaker 1: Well okay you've been to a funeral wasn't you was
• 3:07:21
  Speaker 1: it was it you was it alright gentlemen hey this
• 3:07:26
  Speaker 1: is awesome thank you we have to do tear talk.
• 3:07:28
  Speaker 3: We can hold tear talk for the intro what's tear talk.
• 3:07:31
  Speaker 2: Tear talk is you're just evaluating your top three favorite things.
• 3:07:33
  Speaker 1: Of that category of tears okay of tears.
• 3:07:36
  Speaker 2: We got time we got it cool alright five minutes
• 3:07:42
  Speaker 2: is she out there knock it out oh they're back
• 3:07:44
  Speaker 2: at the hotel oh great keep going which one are
• 3:07:46
  Speaker 2: we doing It's here to talk holiday parties.
• 3:07:49
  Speaker 3: We interrupt this episode to bring you can. It's time
• 3:07:51
  Speaker 3: to turn up your tailgate with canned social tonics, canned spikes,
• 3:07:55
  Speaker 3: their seltzers with weed. Yes, you heard me right. It
• 3:07:58
  Speaker 3: spikes them with weed so you can enjoy a social
• 3:08:00
  Speaker 3: uplifting buzz and still can feel great the next day.
• 3:08:03
  Speaker 3: Quite literally the life hack of all life hacks. Each
• 3:08:06
  Speaker 3: can is blended with only five simple ingredients, all natural ingredients,
• 3:08:10
  Speaker 3: alcohol free and comes in three award winning flavors. And
• 3:08:14
  Speaker 3: they're microdosed so you can get a tiny bit of
• 3:08:16
  Speaker 3: high to watch the big game and always be in control.
• 3:08:19
  Speaker 3: My favorite part, I will be honest, I love canned
• 3:08:21
  Speaker 3: social tonics. I drink them on the weekends. You're not
• 3:08:25
  Speaker 3: buzzed the next day. Light on your tummy. A nice
• 3:08:27
  Speaker 3: little seltzer taste. Head to drinkcan.com and use code BUS30
• 3:08:31
  Speaker 3: for 30% off your order of can and a free
• 3:08:34
  Speaker 3: roadie six-pack sampler. Again, drinkcan.com and use our code BUS30
• 3:08:39
  Speaker 3: and you'll get 30% off. Back to this episode.
• 3:08:42
  Speaker 1: This is awesome for me because I'm moving to Nashville
• 3:08:44
  Speaker 1: and I need to own a holiday.
• 3:08:46
  Speaker 2: You got to own a holiday party. Okay, so Tear
• 3:08:48
  Speaker 2: Talk works like this. You can give an honorable mention
• 3:08:49
  Speaker 2: if you'd like. If there's like four of them.
• 3:08:51
  Speaker 1: And you just can't. Are we done with these Twisted Teas?
• 3:08:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, I thought they'd be right there. Okay, perfect.
• 3:08:56
  Speaker 1: Keep going.
• 3:08:56
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 3:08:57
  Speaker 1: These are pretty fucking good, man.
• 3:08:59
  Speaker 3: They're delicious.
• 3:08:59
  Speaker 1: They're tasty, no carbonation. Way to stand up.
• 3:09:02
  Speaker 2: Way to stand up.
• 3:09:04
  Speaker 1: Hey guys, my name is Burt Kreiser and I enjoy
• 3:09:05
  Speaker 1: Twisted Tea. Do you guys own this company?
• 3:09:08
  Speaker 3: Twisted Tea? No, no, no.
• 3:09:10
  Speaker 2: A Boston Brewing Company on Swisted Tea.
• 3:09:13
  Speaker 1: You guys need to get a piece of this.
• 3:09:15
  Speaker 3: We need some bus light.
• 3:09:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dude.
• 3:09:17
  Speaker 2: That's what we want to do. B-U-S-S apostrophe L-I-T.
• 3:09:22
  Speaker 1: What if I said, hey, would you guys like to
• 3:09:25
  Speaker 1: be a part of Porosos?
• 3:09:27
  Speaker 2: We would say we're interested in any conversation.
• 3:09:29
  Speaker 1: You want to have. Absolutely. I was just saying to Tommy.
• 3:09:32
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, never mind. Keep going. Sean Patton?
• 3:09:36
  Speaker 1: What's this?
• 3:09:37
  Speaker 3: For the Bears? For the boys?
• 3:09:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah?
• 3:09:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay, so holiday parties.
• 3:09:43
  Speaker 1: Hang on. You know that's where I got it. For
• 3:09:46
  Speaker 1: the bears? Yeah, for the bears. For the bears. You
• 3:09:49
  Speaker 1: know that. I said that to you guys. It's the
• 3:09:52
  Speaker 1: coolest thing for the boys. It's like the coolest thing.
• 3:09:54
  Speaker 1: It's beautiful. And when we were doing Los Osos was taken,
• 3:09:58
  Speaker 1: Dos Osos was taken, and they said Por Osos, and
• 3:10:00
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I love it. And then Tommy's like, yeah,
• 3:10:03
  Speaker 1: we'll make it for our bears. And I went, I
• 3:10:05
  Speaker 1: was like, for the Bears. For the Bears. It's an
• 3:10:08
  Speaker 1: homage to like- It's like universal. It's universal. For the boys, yeah.
• 3:10:12
  Speaker 2: It really is. Branding's outstanding. Tastes delicious.
• 3:10:14
  Speaker 1: Who was the guy that came up with Saturday for
• 3:10:16
  Speaker 1: the boys? It was Heidelberg. Heidelberg.
• 3:10:18
  Speaker 2: He came up with that?
• 3:10:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:10:20
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I said the other day?
• 3:10:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, no shit.
• 3:10:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I said the
• 3:10:22
  Speaker 1: other day? I swear to God, I'm drunk on a plane,
• 3:10:26
  Speaker 1: and I thought to myself, I flew those motherfuckers to Amsterdam. Yeah,
• 3:10:29
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 3:10:29
  Speaker 3: I totally forgot about that. I totally forgot about that.
• 3:10:31
  Speaker 3: We're still waiting on that text.
• 3:10:32
  Speaker 1: Buddy, it's happening.
• 3:10:32
  Speaker 3: It's happening.
• 3:10:33
  Speaker 1: It's happening. Hey, you guys want to go see the
• 3:10:35
  Speaker 1: Nile with your wives? Oh, how fucking gangster would that be?
• 3:10:37
  Speaker 1: That'd be sick. That would be sick.
• 3:10:39
  Speaker 3: That'd be fucking awesome.
• 3:10:40
  Speaker 2: Imagine seeing like a 20-foot crocodile and just being like,
• 3:10:43
  Speaker 2: that thing could rip us apart if it wanted to.
• 3:10:44
  Speaker 2: And it probably does want to.
• 3:10:47
  Speaker 1: Hold on.
• 3:10:48
  Speaker 2: Keep it to yourself right now.
• 3:10:49
  Speaker 1: No, okay. Surprise, surprise, surprise. <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> Okay, okay.
• 3:10:54
  Speaker 3: Holiday parties.
• 3:10:54
  Speaker 2: You're going to start at three. You're going to tell
• 3:10:56
  Speaker 2: us why three is your third favorite. Then tier two.
• 3:10:58
  Speaker 3: Then you're going to.
• 3:10:58
  Speaker 2: Finish with tier one, which is your absolute favorite.
• 3:11:01
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 3:11:02
  Speaker 2: So who wants to go first?
• 3:11:03
  Speaker 3: Will, go ahead. What I hate about this is I
• 3:11:10
  Speaker 3: don't know if Halloween is in my top three. I
• 3:11:13
  Speaker 3: think my tier two... No, no, no. Question. Is Thanksgiving,
• 3:11:19
  Speaker 3: is that a party?
• 3:11:20
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God, yes. Yeah, I guess. I would argue
• 3:11:24
  Speaker 1: Thanksgiving is nothing but an entire day party.
• 3:11:27
  Speaker 3: And you got football on.
• 3:11:30
  Speaker 1: Dude, Thanksgiving.
• 3:11:31
  Speaker 3: I would say number two, my tier three... is going
• 3:11:34
  Speaker 3: to be a Christmas party. It's like the Christmas party
• 3:11:36
  Speaker 3: that we do a few days before Christmas where we
• 3:11:39
  Speaker 3: make the gingerbread houses.
• 3:11:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, you guys got to come to that if you
• 3:11:41
  Speaker 2: live in Nashville.
• 3:11:42
  Speaker 3: We're building some good traditional stuff in our Christmas party,
• 3:11:45
  Speaker 3: some really good traditional stuff in our Christmas party. But
• 3:11:48
  Speaker 3: that would be my tier three. My tier two would
• 3:11:50
  Speaker 3: be Thanksgiving. I feel like you have Thanksgiving, you have
• 3:11:53
  Speaker 3: NFL football, you're eating, you're eating leftovers, you're eating pies.
• 3:11:57
  Speaker 3: Everybody comes over together. Somebody's usually bringing a dish. I
• 3:12:01
  Speaker 3: absolutely love Thanksgiving. If that fits into our holiday parties,
• 3:12:05
  Speaker 3: then Thanksgiving is my tier two. My tier one, nearest
• 3:12:08
  Speaker 3: and dearest to my heart, I love the 4th of July.
• 3:12:10
  Speaker 3: I think 4th of July, celebrating America, getting together.
• 3:12:13
  Speaker 1: You're making me so glad I'm American right now.
• 3:12:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, getting together with your families.
• 3:12:16
  Speaker 1: Can you believe they just have Ramadan? If you live
• 3:12:21
  Speaker 1: in Egypt, you just get Ramadan where you don't eat.
• 3:12:23
  Speaker 1: They don't have Fourth of July. They don't have New
• 3:12:25
  Speaker 1: Year's Eve. Maybe they do, but it's like whatever. They
• 3:12:29
  Speaker 1: don't have Christmas. They don't even have Hanukkah. They definitely
• 3:12:32
  Speaker 1: don't have Hanukkah. We have the best fucking parties. We
• 3:12:36
  Speaker 1: have a great roster of holiday parties. If you were
• 3:12:38
  Speaker 1: selling a country, meaning if you were like, yo, come
• 3:12:41
  Speaker 1: to America. I just want to start off by telling
• 3:12:43
  Speaker 1: you all the days we party. You'd be like, why
• 3:12:46
  Speaker 1: would I go to any country? I'm not going to Iraq.
• 3:12:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, let's sit down and let me tell you
• 3:12:50
  Speaker 3: about it. Yeah, definitely not Iraq.
• 3:12:51
  Speaker 1: It's like, I'm not going to go to- Not Russia.
• 3:12:53
  Speaker 3: No.
• 3:12:55
  Speaker 2: What about Amsterdam?
• 3:12:56
  Speaker 3: I feel like Amsterdam is a place that- I.
• 3:12:58
  Speaker 1: Wonder what their roster holidays are.
• 3:12:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:13:00
  Speaker 2: I wonder what their roster holidays are.
• 3:13:01
  Speaker 1: They celebrate everything. They're like, oh, we celebrate French Independence Day.
• 3:13:05
  Speaker 3: Okay. Yeah.
• 3:13:05
  Speaker 2: I feel like there's a.
• 3:13:07
  Speaker 3: Middle of all of it.
• 3:13:08
  Speaker 1: Do they get out of school for it? I don't
• 3:13:11
  Speaker 1: even think they go to school. I think they're all homeschooled.
• 3:13:14
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 3:13:15
  Speaker 1: All the Amsterdam kids, they just sell weed in their hookers,
• 3:13:18
  Speaker 1: I think. Two career paths? I don't know much. There's
• 3:13:22
  Speaker 1: no trade there. I'll tell you what, hot chicks ride
• 3:13:25
  Speaker 1: bikes there. That's the crazy thing. That is wild. Hot
• 3:13:27
  Speaker 1: chicks ride fuck.
• 3:13:29
  Speaker 2: Probably not even 10 speeds either. The ones you really
• 3:13:30
  Speaker 2: have to pedal through.
• 3:13:31
  Speaker 1: I'd argue, oh yeah, they're the ones with handles like this.
• 3:13:35
  Speaker 1: And a basket. Beach cruisers. The hottest women in the
• 3:13:38
  Speaker 1: world are in Amsterdam.
• 3:13:40
  Speaker 3: I've heard israel is up there.
• 3:13:43
  Speaker 1: Dude i slept on indian chicks for a long time
• 3:13:46
  Speaker 1: indian chicks without a doubt yeah you woke up now
• 3:13:49
  Speaker 1: oh my god that's my one regret i've never had
• 3:13:51
  Speaker 1: sex with an indian chick it's like either i think
• 3:13:54
  Speaker 1: they're absolutely stunning yeah i mean indian chicks are like
• 3:13:58
  Speaker 1: and what's crazy is i say that every time i
• 3:14:00
  Speaker 1: meet an indian person yeah i tell them i never
• 3:14:03
  Speaker 1: fucked it.
• 3:14:03
  Speaker 2: You gotta let them know yeah i gotta let them
• 3:14:05
  Speaker 2: know i've ever had yeah So last.
• 3:14:08
  Speaker 3: One's... Fourth of July, tier one.
• 3:14:10
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 3:14:10
  Speaker 3: That concludes my tier talk.
• 3:14:12
  Speaker 2: I'm going to give... Fuck, dude. I'm going to give
• 3:14:16
  Speaker 2: an honorable mention to college Halloween parties. There is a
• 3:14:23
  Speaker 2: special place for that. I just think, as an adult.
• 3:14:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if I had an honorable.
• 3:14:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I do agree that Halloween parties as an adult
• 3:14:30
  Speaker 2: is a little bit more difficult. We're trying to cook
• 3:14:32
  Speaker 2: one up this year to kind of get it, you know,
• 3:14:34
  Speaker 2: pumpkin carving competition, kind of do all the things you do.
• 3:14:37
  Speaker 1: You lose the sluttiness.
• 3:14:39
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 3:14:39
  Speaker 2: There's nothing like being a horny 19-year-old going to a
• 3:14:44
  Speaker 2: Halloween house party.
• 3:14:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, everyone's a whore. Yes. Everyone.
• 3:14:49
  Speaker 2: It's really something special.
• 3:14:50
  Speaker 1: I've never seen a slutty tactician before. Yeah. Everyone's dressed
• 3:14:54
  Speaker 1: as a slut, whatever it is.
• 3:14:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's awesome. My tier three is going to go to... Nice.
• 3:15:00
  Speaker 2: My tier three is going to go to 4th of July.
• 3:15:03
  Speaker 2: The barbecues, the summertime, the tank tops, the twisted teas.
• 3:15:07
  Speaker 2: It's just a great time. It's the peak of summer.
• 3:15:13
  Speaker 2: People love it. It's almost cool. Like you said, it's
• 3:15:16
  Speaker 2: cool not to have a religion. It's cool not to
• 3:15:18
  Speaker 2: be about America, but that's not cool to me. When
• 3:15:22
  Speaker 2: you get to 4th of July and you see the
• 3:15:24
  Speaker 2: flags flying, people about it, playing bags, all those things
• 3:15:27
  Speaker 2: like that to me is just, it's fucking, it's beautiful.
• 3:15:30
  Speaker 2: My tier two, and you guys, it probably wouldn't have
• 3:15:33
  Speaker 2: been my tier two until my eyes were open to
• 3:15:35
  Speaker 2: the idea of Thanksgiving being a full day.
• 3:15:38
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 3:15:38
  Speaker 1: Because it really is.
• 3:15:40
  Speaker 2: So as I'm getting older, I enjoy parties so much
• 3:15:44
  Speaker 2: for a couple of reasons. I enjoy it, one, because
• 3:15:46
  Speaker 2: I want my kids when... I grew up and if
• 3:15:48
  Speaker 2: I do die, if that really exists, if I die,
• 3:15:51
  Speaker 2: my kids are like, yo, my dad, I want them
• 3:15:52
  Speaker 2: to like talk about how psychotic I was about holidays.
• 3:15:55
  Speaker 2: Something about bringing the cheer in and every single thing, Spooktober, Thanksgiving, Christmas,
• 3:16:00
  Speaker 2: but like Thanksgiving last year, we have 30 people at
• 3:16:04
  Speaker 2: the house. There's endless supply of food. We're adding this year,
• 3:16:07
  Speaker 2: I want to do a prize for weigh-ins and weigh-outs.
• 3:16:10
  Speaker 2: Who gains the most during Thanksgiving?
• 3:16:12
  Speaker 1: Gamify Life. Yes, yes.
• 3:16:14
  Speaker 2: And it's just like, I just love like, How it's like, yeah,
• 3:16:17
  Speaker 2: people's got their diet. They have their ideas of what
• 3:16:19
  Speaker 2: they want to look like. But on that day, it
• 3:16:20
  Speaker 2: doesn't fucking matter at all. You can drink as much
• 3:16:22
  Speaker 2: as you want. You have the entire weekend to eat
• 3:16:26
  Speaker 2: the same food for the entire weekend, if not bleeding
• 3:16:28
  Speaker 2: into the next week. So I think that's awesome. My
• 3:16:30
  Speaker 2: tier one is Christmas parties, dude. I think when you
• 3:16:35
  Speaker 2: get to that like 23rd of December, when you have
• 3:16:37
  Speaker 2: a whole bunch of people coming over and you have
• 3:16:39
  Speaker 2: full grown adults coming making gingerbread houses and having a
• 3:16:43
  Speaker 2: competition to who can make the best gingerbread houses and
• 3:16:45
  Speaker 2: everyone kind of voting on it. And that's an endless
• 3:16:47
  Speaker 2: supply of the most intense eggnog on top of it
• 3:16:52
  Speaker 2: and knowing that like no one's got work tomorrow no
• 3:16:55
  Speaker 2: one's got anything to do the next few days and
• 3:16:57
  Speaker 2: you're gonna make it like a full weekend out of
• 3:17:00
  Speaker 2: like drinking a little too much pinky sweating to start
• 3:17:03
  Speaker 2: your diets come the new year you know at that
• 3:17:04
  Speaker 2: point like all the things I was going to achieve
• 3:17:07
  Speaker 2: this year That's done now because I know 2025 is
• 3:17:11
  Speaker 2: a week away and that's when I'll restart everything. So
• 3:17:14
  Speaker 2: it's like really throwing your inhibitions to the wind and
• 3:17:16
  Speaker 2: being like, dude, fuck it. Like we're going to do
• 3:17:18
  Speaker 2: whatever we want here. It's just there's something about darkness
• 3:17:24
  Speaker 2: with all your friends around and the only thing lighting
• 3:17:26
  Speaker 2: up the outside are Christmas lights and just giving you
• 3:17:30
  Speaker 2: that like. Oh, fuck, dude.
• 3:17:33
  Speaker 3: It really is cheering.
• 3:17:34
  Speaker 2: Dude, the music is going. You got Elvis on. You
• 3:17:38
  Speaker 2: got Mariah Carey going. You got all the different kinds
• 3:17:41
  Speaker 2: of music. And it's got this like peppermint Christmas tree
• 3:17:46
  Speaker 2: smell that just is an aura throughout everybody. Everyone's a
• 3:17:49
  Speaker 2: little bit fucking happier. You'd be having the worst week
• 3:17:51
  Speaker 2: of your life. But on those couple of days, that week,
• 3:17:55
  Speaker 2: it's like, what are we all upset about?
• 3:17:57
  Speaker 1: Dude, you got me so fucking fired up right now. Right?
• 3:17:58
  Speaker 3: Have a sip, dude.
• 3:17:59
  Speaker 2: Have a sip of that Twisted Tea right now. It's
• 3:18:01
  Speaker 2: that fucking good. And it bums me out that, because
• 3:18:04
  Speaker 2: I'm obviously a huge spooktober guy, but that.
• 3:18:09
  Speaker 1: Dude, I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing.
• 3:18:10
  Speaker 1: I know what I'm doing when I moved to Nashville.
• 3:18:12
  Speaker 2: What's that?
• 3:18:12
  Speaker 1: All right, let's work through my tier.
• 3:18:15
  Speaker 3: Come into these parties.
• 3:18:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, I got my party. I got my party.
• 3:18:18
  Speaker 1: I got my party. I know how I'm going to
• 3:18:19
  Speaker 1: own Nashville. I got my party.
• 3:18:21
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 3:18:22
  Speaker 1: Let's work it backwards. Thanksgiving is awesome.
• 3:18:30
  Speaker 3: Tier three.
• 3:18:31
  Speaker 1: Tier three.
• 3:18:31
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 3:18:32
  Speaker 1: It gives you a whole day of partying. The whole
• 3:18:35
  Speaker 1: day is about one event. No one has to give
• 3:18:37
  Speaker 1: a present, which is perfect. There's no anxiety about presents.
• 3:18:41
  Speaker 1: That's what makes this beautiful.
• 3:18:42
  Speaker 3: It's just telling somebody what they mean to you.
• 3:18:44
  Speaker 1: Yes. Why I'm thankful that you're in my life. Oh,
• 3:18:48
  Speaker 1: you get the big house. Everyone's there. Everyone comes in,
• 3:18:51
  Speaker 1: brings a little something. Nothing but love. Football's on all
• 3:18:54
  Speaker 1: fucking day. So important in a holiday is what do
• 3:18:58
  Speaker 1: we have playing in the background? Oh, I love Thanksgiving.
• 3:19:04
  Speaker 1: Number two, I'm going to say St. Patrick's day. Okay.
• 3:19:12
  Speaker 1: Now I want you to know that I have not
• 3:19:14
  Speaker 1: unveiled what will be my Nashville holiday that I will own.
• 3:19:17
  Speaker 1: Bert Kreischer will come to Nashville and I will own
• 3:19:19
  Speaker 1: this day.
• 3:19:20
  Speaker 3: Marty girl. Nope.
• 3:19:20
  Speaker 1: Nope. Oh buddy, you're so far off, but let's celebrate St.
• 3:19:24
  Speaker 1: Patrick's day. Okay. Best St. Patrick's day I ever had. Uh, uh, 1995,
• 3:19:31
  Speaker 1: my buddy Hutch called me and said, I have a
• 3:19:34
  Speaker 1: Vespa and a pocket full of mushrooms. Do you want
• 3:19:38
  Speaker 1: to go on a ride? And I sat backwards on
• 3:19:40
  Speaker 1: a Vespa, high on mushrooms, St. Patrick's Day, drunk as fuck,
• 3:19:43
  Speaker 1: tripping my balls off, driving through Tallahassee. St. Patrick's Day,
• 3:19:48
  Speaker 1: it brings the champion out of all of us. We
• 3:19:50
  Speaker 1: get up early. We get to the bar early. We
• 3:19:52
  Speaker 1: kill beers early. We fucking stay up late. If you
• 3:19:56
  Speaker 1: got to do coke, we get it. It's St. Patrick's Day.
• 3:19:59
  Speaker 1: And it's all about luck. I mean, luck is, I
• 3:20:02
  Speaker 1: believe more in luck than I do hard work. I
• 3:20:04
  Speaker 1: think luck is so more important than hard work. How
• 3:20:07
  Speaker 1: many people did you play baseball, football with that were
• 3:20:09
  Speaker 1: like so fucking good, but then just never got to
• 3:20:12
  Speaker 1: the next play. And they just never had that one thing.
• 3:20:14
  Speaker 1: The one coach that saw them the one time they didn't,
• 3:20:16
  Speaker 1: they just didn't, they fumbled on the one time. It's
• 3:20:18
  Speaker 1: luck is so fucking important. And that is why my
• 3:20:21
  Speaker 1: number one, and my name is Bert Kreischer. I'll be
• 3:20:23
  Speaker 1: moving to Nashville and I will be celebrating this every
• 3:20:25
  Speaker 1: year and I will be throwing this party. And I
• 3:20:28
  Speaker 1: can't wait till you guys come. Chinese New Year's.
• 3:20:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit.
• 3:20:34
  Speaker 1: It's all about luck. It's all about luck. You dress
• 3:20:36
  Speaker 1: all in red. You bring fresh ones, crisp from the bank.
• 3:20:39
  Speaker 1: It's all about gambling, making noise. Pull up Chinese New Year's.
• 3:20:42
  Speaker 1: Pull up Bert Kreisler Chinese New Year's. I've celebrated it
• 3:20:45
  Speaker 1: every year. I love it. It's my favorite holiday. You
• 3:20:48
  Speaker 1: eat a ton. You drink a ton. You yell. You
• 3:20:50
  Speaker 1: bring an Asian cultural center in. They dress as dragons.
• 3:20:53
  Speaker 1: That's me and Oliver Stone at Chinese New Year's. I
• 3:20:57
  Speaker 1: fucking love Chinese New Year's more than anything. And when
• 3:21:01
  Speaker 1: I moved, God, look how fucking fat I am. He
• 3:21:05
  Speaker 1: looks better than me. How's that possible? When I moved
• 3:21:09
  Speaker 1: to Nashville, I will be throwing the most epic Chinese
• 3:21:11
  Speaker 1: New Year's parties every fucking year in January. Everyone's dressed
• 3:21:15
  Speaker 1: in red. That's us in Amsterdam. That's when I flew
• 3:21:18
  Speaker 1: those guys out for Chinese New Year's. All dressed in red, gambling,
• 3:21:22
  Speaker 1: eating mushrooms, partying our balls off. But without a doubt,
• 3:21:26
  Speaker 1: and it's cultural appropriation, Chinese New Year's is my favorite.
• 3:21:30
  Speaker 3: Bad question. When is Chinese New Year's?
• 3:21:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 3:21:36
  Speaker 3: But you're going to own it.
• 3:21:37
  Speaker 1: It's like sometimes in January. Sometimes in January. We'll be
• 3:21:41
  Speaker 1: here in January. January 29th.
• 3:21:44
  Speaker 3: Late January.
• 3:21:46
  Speaker 2: And it's always the year of something too.
• 3:21:47
  Speaker 1: The rat, the dog, the dragon, the snake. Last year
• 3:21:50
  Speaker 1: was the monkey, I think. Or the rat.
• 3:21:53
  Speaker 2: What year is it this year?
• 3:21:56
  Speaker 1: But it's so fucking fun. I would take $ 100 in
• 3:22:02
  Speaker 1: fresh ones, put them in a Ziploc bag, put a
• 3:22:06
  Speaker 1: rock in it, throw it at the bottom of the pool.
• 3:22:08
  Speaker 1: And then in the middle of the party, I'd go,
• 3:22:09
  Speaker 1: $ 100 at the bottom of the pool. And all the
• 3:22:11
  Speaker 1: kids would jump in the pool, try to get that $ 100. Dude,
• 3:22:14
  Speaker 1: I honestly, I get so wild at Chinese New Year's.
• 3:22:20
  Speaker 1: That year I was with Oliver Stone. Oh, it's my year, 1989. Oh, wow.
• 3:22:23
  Speaker 1: You're the snake, dog.
• 3:22:23
  Speaker 3: You're the snake.
• 3:22:29
  Speaker 1: It's, uh, last year I was making it rain on
• 3:22:31
  Speaker 1: these Asian kids. I was on top of a ladder
• 3:22:33
  Speaker 1: and I was like, just throwing ones on them, just
• 3:22:36
  Speaker 1: making it rain on them. And Oliver Stone saw that.
• 3:22:38
  Speaker 1: And he's like, who the fuck is this guy? I
• 3:22:39
  Speaker 1: was like, buddy, you bought the rights to my life.
• 3:22:41
  Speaker 1: He was like, what? I was like, dude, you're the
• 3:22:43
  Speaker 1: reason I'm here. You're the reason I have all this.
• 3:22:45
  Speaker 1: If you hadn't done that, I wouldn't be here. He
• 3:22:47
  Speaker 1: was like, I don't remember that. I don't remember that.
• 3:22:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:22:50
  Speaker 1: See, he's wearing red Chinese New Year's man. It's fucking dope.
• 3:22:53
  Speaker 1: It is the coolest fucking party. Oh, Chinese New Year's.
• 3:22:58
  Speaker 1: I'm going to own Chinese New Year's in Nashville. I
• 3:22:59
  Speaker 1: love that.
• 3:23:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:23:00
  Speaker 2: Fuck yeah. Bert, thank you for coming on.
• 3:23:02
  Speaker 1: I love you guys. I love you guys. Honestly, you've
• 3:23:04
  Speaker 1: changed my life in so many ways. My friendship with
• 3:23:07
  Speaker 1: both of you means a great deal. And I'm telling you,
• 3:23:10
  Speaker 1: you guys welcoming Leanne to the Beer Olympics last year,
• 3:23:14
  Speaker 1: it was the coolest thing that that woman's ever done.
• 3:23:16
  Speaker 1: She does not stop talking about it. She is a
• 3:23:20
  Speaker 1: ride or die for both you motherfuckers. Like hardcore. And
• 3:23:23
  Speaker 1: Michael Chandler. but uh she's one of.
• 3:23:26
  Speaker 2: The boys man she is man she's unbelievable and you've
• 3:23:28
  Speaker 2: become an awesome friend to both of us you've given
• 3:23:31
  Speaker 2: us amazing experiences letting us come to your movie premiere
• 3:23:34
  Speaker 2: just being a part of your life is special.
• 3:23:35
  Speaker 1: Man we appreciate you I can't wait till you guys
• 3:23:36
  Speaker 1: do Rogan love you bro I love you guys
• 3:23:40
  Speaker 2: Love you brother Joe subscribe if I start saying