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Episode 3 - Mental Health · Can We Actually Talk About this?

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: And welcome to our newest episode of Can We Actually Talk About This Slash That was so good.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: That was so good because we're going to be able to do that.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: We've literally got it now, down to two.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so um this week's episode is for Mental Health Day.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: On Sunday, the 11th of October.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, which is when this episode will be coming out.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Fantastic timing.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Really good timing.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well done, everybody.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's a big topic, isn't it?
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: But before we get into the nitty-gritty, gratitude.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: What are you grateful for this week?
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so this week I would say I'm grateful for the people around me.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: I've had one of those weeks where I've been questioning a lot what I'm doing and myself, and I feel like the having this right people around me has helped hugely.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that's mine.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: What about you?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Love that.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm grateful for the universe this week because I feel like a lot of tricky situations have come up and the universe has gone, don't worry.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like we've all got you.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like whether it's been people or the timing of certain things, and I'm like, oh, that's just worked out perfectly.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, great.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm just grateful for serendipitous moments, moments you don't plan, but they happen just at the right time.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm grateful for this week.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Brilliant.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, rant of the week.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Kids being ill.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, taking time off school.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: The phone call.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: The dreaded phone call.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: The dreaded phone call.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: It happened, didn't it?
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: It happened.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I was handed two doggy bags of clothes covered in sick.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he also managed to get it on another child.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: So when I got there, he was dressed in lost property uniforms.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, stop.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: It gets worse.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: The jumper was on backwards.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, stop it.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because it was a V-next.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: And he was just sat there like really pale and sweaty, like.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, with his big jumper that was back towards it.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of a twist.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Bless him, I shouldn't laugh.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh kid, this is a low point for you, really.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, stop.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, we didn't even manage to get any learning done.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh god, okay.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: So that's my rant of the week.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's just really like all my day went out the window.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: And as a mum, your heart hurts, doesn't it?
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're like, I want you to be better, but also I've got shit to do.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, literally.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Get better now.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: And he did.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Miraculously.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: Within like four hours.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, that's my rant of the week.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: What about you?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: My rant of the week is being a business owner.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Literally, like you get to a point and you're like, yes, come on.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Smashing it, doing well.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Then bam, it's like it hits you in the face.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden you feel like really like you're doing terrible.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: And only you feel it because everyone else on the outside is like, She's doing amazing.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, I'm not.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's so hard.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Someone help me.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Someone give me a rule book.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: There's no rule book.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Someone show me the future.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: But we someone tell me it's gonna be okay.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: It will be okay, though.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: It will be fine.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the someone.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for thanks for that.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: You're welcome.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: It will be okay, but you're allowed to feel rubbish about it as well.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's just there's so many highs and lows with running a business, and I find like I'm on a roller coaster all the time, and sometimes it gets a bit exhausting.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: So then sometimes I think I should go and get a job.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: The amount of times I look for a job is so funny, and I never actually do it, but I always I literally constantly and I'm like, oh yeah, I'm just gonna have a look.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm like, what am I doing?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want that.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want that.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: No, and it just makes me chuckle how indeed doesn't want us either because literally, you know?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh so that's my rant of the week.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but that's okay to have that as a rant of the week.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's a fully justified one.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's just it's just a bit shit when you hit the same loops, isn't it?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: On the roll course, and then you're like, oh, again, really?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: But there might be a big dipper coming soon.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like a fun bit.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's gonna be manifesting.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Just totally believing it.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think it will be.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because since that shit bit's happened, we've had lots of good signs, yes, it's like dripping in, like little trickles from the end.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like testing, isn't it?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's the universe testing me of like, are you gonna get shiny object syndrome?
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I'm like, no, I'm really trying to stay focused.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: We have to, and I will help you thanks, as much as I can.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Just keep you on the right track.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: On that note, though, little winds of the week, because obviously we had a bit of a blip, didn't we?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: And a bit of a meltdown midweek.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: Little middle.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: Well, not even midweek, beginning of the week.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Beginning of the week, and on the same day, I got a message from someone I used to clean for, an old client, yes, saying, Are you still doing it?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: We'd love to have you back.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: And my challenge last week was to say no without an excuse, and I just said, No.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, I did it.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: How good is that?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: So good.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: That is so I'm so proud of you for doing that.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, afterwards, I was like, Oh, was that the universe showing me that I need to earn extra money?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, but I said no.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: So that it felt good.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's the universe testing you, yeah, isn't it?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, are you focused on what you like want for your life, or am I like gonna give you this and you're gonna go, oh yeah, because that's just now I'm just gonna do it.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Safe, easy option.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, we're not gonna take the easy options.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, I love that.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, mine.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is so fun.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: We went cycling, didn't we?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: We went and got those bikes where you have to do like tap the app, yeah, like sign up and then go cycling.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: It was fun, it was fun.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think the app was the hardest bit.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: It was.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: There was a lot of stuff you had to fill in and do, and I I did find it a little bit confusing.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I also didn't know how to like adjust my seat, but I got there eventually.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was it was good, it was good.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: It was nice to like do something kid-like.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: The things we learned though was funny, right?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: People are rude, people are rude, people are rude, where wait, 75% of people were rude because three out of the four did not say good morning when we said good morning, and one man got angry with me for going just very slightly into a place where you're not supposed to cycle, and I mean like I was literally like probably two meters into it, and it's not like you drove in like yeah, literally, and the funny thing is, is he the the words he said is you should be cycling on the road, and that's not actually what I should have been doing because there is a cycle path, yeah.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just you should have been on the cycle path, not you should be cycling on the road, like that.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: That man had a lot of issues, I think.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: He did, and I just think we take that as he's clearly got lots of going on in his life.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: I actually feel sorry for him.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry that he felt like he had to speak to me like that.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, moving on, and we did move on, we moved on all the way to the coast, and it was so fun, wasn't it?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: It was good, and just doing something different, isn't it?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like stepping out your comfort zone a bit and going, let's try that.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it was literally like less than an hour, yeah.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: And we both came out of here like, oh that was really nice, and it was only three pounds, isn't it?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, bargain that is absolute bargain, three pounds for an hour, yeah.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we surprised um not in this weather, no, no, it's actually raining today.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe next summer.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Next summer.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: We'll do it once a year and our new old bike ride.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I did enjoy actually trying something new and doing that.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was good.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: It was good, didn't it?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was I think we should do that more regularly.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Cycling?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: Trying something new.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: New things, yeah.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe like a massage that we've never had before.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: Not together.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, there's many massages I you know, like those hot cupping ones.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, no.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's gonna be a nice soundbite, isn't it?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm talking about, though, don't you know what you're talking about?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what's that called?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Cupping.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Cupping, it is cupping.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Cupping.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Cupping.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, many.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, shall we move into the actual episode of this?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because this is actually really important.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: We're going on a bit here, aren't we?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Mental health, and I think um it's really a really good one to dive into and for people to hear our stories.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know what I mean.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: Agreed.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think we do both come across, because of our job and our roles, very positive all the time.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: Unless you're in my Thursday classes, and then you'll know that I lose it by about eight o'clock.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: But anyway, love that.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: But it is, we are very like positive, empowering, because you can't empower other people if you're a negative dancey, can you?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, we do come across that way, but I think it'd be nice for people to hear our backstories and how actually things like dance have changed things for us and like made things a whole lot better.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so the first question I'm gonna ask you is do you think we're getting better at talking about mental health, or are we still afraid of being judged?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this is an interesting one because I think there's a bit of both in there.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think in general, I do think it's being spoken about a lot more, which I think is positive.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I still think there is that concern for people behind speaking up.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's still that metaphorical eye roll that comes whenever someone says, Oh, my mental health.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: And as soon as those two words are uttered, people go, Oh, they're talking about their mental health again.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, well, come on.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's when you know you're speaking to the wrong person.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, true.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: But I think it is more common than we think.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's absolutely.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think everyone struggles with it in one way or another.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's it's like it's so important to speak about it, but so many people are still afraid to, especially like the older generation, yeah.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: When we're kind of like told to just squish your feelings, like it's fine, just be good.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know what I mean?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like they're the ones that kind of go, You okay?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and then you just go on with it.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I think exactly you know you're with the right people when they go, Are you okay?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: And you go, yeah, and they go, but are you okay?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: And they ask more than once, and it's like they dig until you cry.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and they get a vibe.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they're like, I'm not like I don't feel like you're okay.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to like talk about this?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: And they pry a little bit more with good intentions, like, yeah, definitely.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I do think it's something when we talk about mental health, I think people are in two mindsets about it.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: Either they are mental health is something to do with something that's diagnosed, so like bipolar depression, like you've got to be on medication or you've got to be receiving treatment for it to be classed as like a mental health situation, or there's people who are very open-minded about it and see it just as important as your physical health.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like physical health, we don't have to diagnose anything, we can just feel unwell.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and mental health, we don't have to diagnose anything, we can just not feel right.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I think, and I think people sit in one of two camps, and I think the second is one that we want more people to be sitting in.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and I think that's what's gonna help by talking about it more, and not just the people who have to tell stories about it all the time.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: Because you see these great advocates talking about their mental health and how they get to a really, really low point, but not many people talk about the bubbles that rise before you get to that low point, and so then everyone sees mental health as a crisis rather than something that we can take care of every single day and we can help each other take care of as well.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's really so true important.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um, so next question Do you ever feel guilty for taking time for yourself?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, always.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: I just feel like I mean, I've got a lot better at it, but I always feel like I should be doing something else.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like if I go for a to have a bar, I can't fully relax.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I should be working, so I'm gonna get my phone out and I'm gonna work.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Or like that's why I have to physically book to go and do something.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like for me, I find it hard in the smaller things day to day to do stuff for myself.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have to be like, right, I'm booking to do a trip with a friend, or I'm going for a spa day.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, do you know what I mean?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I have to physically go to do something that works like way better for me, and I have got way better at doing that stuff because I never used to do any of that.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything that you do on a daily basis that is just for you?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Even if it's not like a set amount of time that there's something little that you've started doing just for you.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Walking the dogs, is it?
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, literally walking the dogs.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's my my like my me time.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because a lot of people are like, Oh, I've got to walk the dog.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm like, right, I'm going to walk the dogs, and sometimes it's 10-15 minutes in the morning, yeah.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Then maybe 20 minutes, half an hour in the evening.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: But I tend to do it twice a day.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, sometimes I'll put like my airpods on and listen to a podcast or some music or an audio book.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I know that's my me time.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just for you.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I just love it.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that, it's just 10-15 minutes.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't need to be much, does it?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I remind myself like when I go to have a bath or something, I am getting better at not taking my phone.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it doesn't actually have to be these crazy extravagant things all the time.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: What about you?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think I'm quite good at it actually, but I think my life allows for it.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's the difference.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's like as a co-parent, I do have days where it's just me, so I can schedule in that time.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: I can choose how I spend my time.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't got other people needing me all the time.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: Where I think for a lot of people, especially people who have like nine to five jobs, yeah, high pressure jobs, yeah, mums, like busy, busy people, it's hard to find that time.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: But something that I really love doing is just going for a drive.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'll just put music on and I'll just drive.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I know it's a waste of petrol and it's bad for the environment, but it's good for my brain.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's exactly um.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: What are you gonna do?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, someone's gonna shout at you for having a bath because you wasted water.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: I bet they used to have ZBT.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you're not stood outside with a hose pipe.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but do you know what I mean?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: True, yeah.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Even just having it honestly, I went camping, right?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And Daisy went into the shower and then was just kind of like messing around, so it took a while.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: And this woman was like, Do you not know we're on a hose pipe van?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh, we're like, she's just showering, and she was like, Yes, but you know, you won't be saying that when we actually have no water.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Whoa, okay, well, she's not using the hose pipe.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's so you know, go for your um drive, is what I'm saying.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I'm gonna do it, you know.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, and I like it, and I put songs on that I really like, and I pretend that I'm on the west end and I have a lovely time.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I wind my window down so other people can enjoy me.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Brilliant, and that's like just being mindful, isn't it?
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's what I find with my dog walking, it's just being mindful and being in the moment, yeah, and that's what like self-care is.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I can't go and put a wash on, and I can't get my laptop out and start doing something.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm just driving around, obviously concentrating on the road, but also having a lovely time at the same time.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, and I think it's just little things, like, and that's something that I think I've taken probably from COVID actually, because that was the only time I was allowed outside.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was like pregnant, as were you, yeah.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember Evan's dad used to be like, get in the car.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: You need you need to go outside, get in the car, and like we couldn't, we could go for one walk a day, so we just go for a drive and we'd just put music on, not even speak to each other, and I just stare out the window and have a lovely little time.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: I love that with some jelly sweets so I didn't throw up.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: It was just the best time.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I still take a snack to love the car.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think yeah, it doesn't have to be like huge and extravagant, although these they are it is really good for you to also get away.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, do you know what I mean?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Take time out as well from the daily hassles and bustles of life.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: That is something I want to prioritize next year, is like actually going away somewhere, yeah, and like properly switching off from things.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely, yeah, that is on my list to do.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, um let's go for it.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Do you find it hard to ask for help?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, I do.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: They don't really have much else to say.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: What stops you from asking though?
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um like let and let's think about it from a mental health perspective.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: If you know that you're like burnt out, you're struggling with it, you're in your own brain, and it's going mental, what stops you from like reaching out to somebody?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think I've got better.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, however, I think from a young age I've always very much got on with stuff myself, yeah, and not wanted to ask for help because I'm like, I don't want anyone to be able to say that they've got me to where I am.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's interesting.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I didn't expect you to say that.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: Did you not?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I've always thought I don't want anyone else to be able to say, Oh yeah, you only got there because of me.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like, no, I've done this all for myself, no one's helped me along the way.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: That is interesting.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because my brain went to I don't want to be a hindrance on anybody.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's what I've always thought.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna ask perhaps I don't want to be a hindrance.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: There's always a because, isn't there?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, is it because so that's yours?
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's interesting, isn't it?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I think like on my mental health journey, there's been two really poignant points where I got to like crisis point.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: One was just after I had Evan, we were in lockdown, the barrier to Wales was barrier.
• 18:00
  unknown: Is it a barrier?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: No, border, that's what border.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: The border to Wales was shut, so I couldn't get to my family.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we were in bubbles, but we had like my in-laws, and that was it.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: And my brother-in-law at the time, his girlfriend, was also pregnant, so we were trying to share a bubble because she her family weren't around either.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember sitting in the bath and just thinking I can't reach out to anybody, but no one reaches out to me either, so I should just disappear.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: And literally, as clear as day, it was like that was my thought, and I was like, Oh, okay.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember just kind of like going from day to day, just existing, and no one like not contacting anybody, no one contacting me.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: I had this newborn baby, didn't know what to do with him.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: Remember ringing a midwife, her hanging up on me because she was too busy, and I just thought, right then, well, I'm not that important, and he's got loads of people that'll look after him if I'm not you, so what's the point, really?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: And the same day my friend Anna rang me and she was like, You aren't okay, I haven't heard from you for two weeks.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what is going on?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, and I was like, um yeah, about that.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Just sort of like, but I also thought, like, I don't, I can't what what's anybody else gonna do to help me?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm just gonna be an extra hindrance because everyone else is following the same rules.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just yeah, but her reaching out to me and being like, Are you and she's the person who will always ask at least three times, are you okay?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: And the first time you're like, Yeah, and the second time you start crying, the third time she's like, right, what's going on?
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: And you're like, Oh my god! I think it is that whole thing of you know something's wrong and you feel like something's wrong, but you don't know what help to ask for.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: So what do you say to somebody?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm burnt out, yeah, so is everyone else.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I feel sad, yeah, so does everyone else, is a lot of the answers that will come back to you, and I think it's just it's finding the right people, like you said.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and just for context, I would have asked you if you're okay, but just so everyone knows, in case they're questioning why Kirstie didn't ask if you was okay.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: She wasn't in my life at that point, I wasn't in her life, and vice versa, when I was struggling post baby, we weren't in each other's lives then.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: This could have been a whole different story, literally, yeah.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's mad, isn't it?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: I've literally had a similar situation after I had Daisy, and I remember it's clear as day, and I sat in the shower and I had the shower running, and I just sat in it and I just cried.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I just was like, I don't don't know what to do, don't I didn't feel like I loved her.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I just am existing.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's mental, isn't it?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just crazy how your brain makes you think these things.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, of course, you can't just disappear.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, people love you and you are important in people's lives, but in that moment when you're so overwhelmed by whatever it is life's thrown at you, your brain is evil and it will go, all right then, don't it?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's fine then.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Go.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you don't need to be here, that's okay.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: And you're like, Well, okay, then, well, um, and you need somebody else, you need a strong tribe somewhere, even if they're not close to you.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like Anna was in Wales at the time, she was nowhere near me.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, Hello, I'm gonna ring to him if you don't answer.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Okay, I'm answering it.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's it.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: Don't ring anyone else, don't tell anyone else.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I think it is just like you said, it's you just get to that point, don't you, where you're like, What do I do?
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it's so hard, isn't it?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because you don't know what to do.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like you just And it's okay if no one else knows what to do either, but I think even just having someone know that you're not okay and speaking about it, it's mental what a difference it is saying something out loud.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, like it just puts it as clear as day, like oh, I love it.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, and you almost can like answer your own questions and things like that when you actually say.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: It out loud to somebody.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's like listening to someone else say it, isn't it?
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: And then if because if someone said to me, Oh, I don't need to be here for my newborn baby, I'd be like, Are you freaking mental?
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what are you talking about?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then hearing yourself say it out loud, you're like, Why am that is stupid?
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why am I thinking it?
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: And some people don't, some people don't have that realization, and it is clear as day to them, and it feels like the right thing.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I think it's about having someone else who will check you.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: And be like, okay, say that again.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: But what if this happened?
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: And like delving into it with you to help you understand it and not giving you any answers or solving any problems for you, but just helping you kind of check in with your own mind again and kind of balancing everything out and definitely regulating yourself, basically.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: Which is bloody hard, isn't it?
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's not just mums that go through, I think it's just burnout in general now.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like women in general.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: God, we've all been dealing with our mental health since we were about seven when our hormones kicked in.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: God puberty periods, then babies, then jobs, and then perimenopause comes around the corner, smacks you in the ass.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: Glad I haven't hit that yet.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's creeping in.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: Is it?
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: I forgot, did I tell you I forgot your name the other day?
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: I was talking to someone about you, and I don't even remember who it was.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is so sad.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I could see your face, and I know exactly who you are.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Do you know?
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know?
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: It literally couldn't come to my brain.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Literally, the word was not in my brain anymore.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, what is going on here?
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: There is something happening.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's not talking about the night sweats, they're another thing, isn't it?
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so this leads us into a really good thing.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Not menopause, but having somebody around you.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: How important is having friendships outside of your relationship or family?
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: Huge.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, definitely.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: Game changer.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: Massively.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it's really important.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: I think so many things happen in relationships and families.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think being able to step outside of that and to speak to somebody who I mean it depends who you speak to, doesn't it?
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're speaking to someone who's genuinely like supportive of you, they will see it from not just your point of view either, but actually be able to see the whole picture.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really important.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas sometimes, obviously, if you've got someone that's just going to be there and be like, yeah, they're awful, yeah, they're terrible.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: But let's not tend to be the right person to speak to.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think the right friendships are really important outside of family and relationships for sure.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Just to be able to talk stuff out with um and hear somebody else's side, like when you're talking about things that you're going through, for sure.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's it's important to have a friendship group where you know what that friend offers you as well.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, not all your friends need to be the one that you're going to tell your problems to.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like one of your friends might be the one that you can sit with and doesn't drain your social battery.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: One of your friends might be the one that you're like, yep, she's the one when I need picking up and I'm going out and I'm drinking with it.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: One might be the one that you go to about your kids' problems, one might be the one that you talk to about your relationship problems.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: And not every friend, if you have a problem, what I'm trying to say is you don't have to think, I'm gonna text everyone and see what they think about it.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's about knowing who to go to and what your friends bring you.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: And actually, when it comes to mental health, I think it is not just about talking about your problems, but what else they can offer you.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you do just need a hug, who's gonna give you the best hug?
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: Me.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I agree.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: You do have really good hugs.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: If you need life advice, like you actually genuinely need someone to go, okay, you could do X, Y, and Z, I'm coming to you.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: If I need someone who's gonna slag that person off and agree with me, even if I'm wrong, I'll go to another person.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know what I mean?
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm like, do you know what?
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: I just need to know that I'm not mental right now, you'll back me up.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: I know you will.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's about calling on the right people for the right thing.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely that all contributes to your mental health.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like whether you need that justification, whether you need guidance, whether you need comfort, yeah, it's going to the right people, isn't it?
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: And they don't have to be your family or your partner.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's it.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly that sometimes they're too close, yeah, and they're too biased in what they're gonna say.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: So true.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I think it is important, and also your family and your partner can't give you what your friends can give you sometimes.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so yeah, no, I do think that's good, and also you don't need millions of friends either.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: No, and that's something that's so key, isn't it?
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: I find the less friends, like really close friends I have, the better.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: I've bumped a lot off.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the mean thing to say, I've not bumped them off.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think you outgrow people, don't you?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: And people like do different things in their lives at different times.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, look when we became friends.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean we haven't been friends for years.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people think we've been friends for years.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: Spoiler alert.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: We haven't.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: No, and that's mental, isn't it?
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like we just found each other at the right time of our lives.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: Someone once said to me, you have to see your friendships like different parts of a tree.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, interesting.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it not over like a timeline, but what they give to you.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: So there's like people who are your roots, so the people who will ground you.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: There's people who are your trunk, so they will stabilize you.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: So they'll come in whenever you need them.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: They might not be there all the time, but they'll come there when you need them.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: Then you've got your branches, still quite sturdy, but there's more of them, and you can kind of pick which branch you want.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then you've got your leaves who are seasonal.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: So they'll come every now and then and they'll change, and they'll be different friends on the outskirts of it.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: And and they were like, you not everyone is going to be a root or a trunk.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: And you have to just accept some people are leaves, and you enjoy them while they're there, and then they go off.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then you'll have a different leaf maybe next season.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's quite nice to be.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that's so true, isn't it?
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it's being okay with it as well.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's absolutely okay.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that you are that for other people.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: You are a leaf in someone else's life, and that's fine.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's all good.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's all fine.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's beautiful.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's lovely.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, ready for the next question.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, okay.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: What's one small thing that can completely change your mood?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, interesting.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: In a positive way.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I'm struggling, and I think I need to sort my shit out right now because I'm like spiralling, because my brain does that.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: It goes like, oh, once negative things happen, oh my goodness, everything around me is negative and like everything's terrible.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: I know to put music on.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: I literally know, put some music on, and it has to be like uplifting.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: I've got like a playlist that I go to.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: This like uplifting, feel good, and it literally changes my mood.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I move, I have to move.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: I can't just sit still.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: I have to get up.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: I have to move, whether that's going out to walk the dogs, whether that's just having a little bit of a dance around.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as I do that, I'm like, yeah, I can take on the whole world.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: Love that.
• 29:01
  unknown: So good.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: Music and movement.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, kind of sums up why you do the job that you do.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: Kind of does, doesn't it?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: Makes sense.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: Total sense.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: What about you?
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, positive.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: Just uh we are still here everybody, by the way.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: Jess is just thinking.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's different things.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: I think it depends what why I'm in a bad mood.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: Or I'm I'm feeling in that way.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: Normally, I think because I live on my own and I am on my own a lot of the time, it's just contact with somebody, whether that's a message, whether that's a phone call, whether that's someone popping in or me going to see somebody, it's like socializing in some way, shape, or form.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: That normally can like flip my rood around.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't even have to talk about what's going on or why I'm annoyed.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's just someone else's energy, yeah.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like that just lifts me up.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but also movement, I do agree.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: Mainly just dance.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: If I go to the gym, I can come back out in a stinky mood as well, like that, because someone will annoy me.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: But if I go to dance, because my brain has to concentrate on the moves that I'm doing and remembering the sequences, and then I'm distracted by the people around me, I haven't got a chance to remember why I was in a bad mood, and then the endorphins kick in afterwards, and I come out and I'm like, yeah, yes, girl, get me to the club, I'm good, and then I remember that I was 37 and I should be in bed.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: But it's fine, it's absolutely fine.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, it's a lovely time.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I think it's a lot, it's it's a lot to do with energy, I think, to me.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like other people's energy really impacts me, and it's the same in the opposite direction.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the biggest thing that can turn me from like being on top of the world to bottom of the ocean is rejection.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I'm not talking about someone being like you're dumped, obviously.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: Kills me every time, every time.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, every time it's happened once in my life, but anyway, never mind.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it could just be something something like me saying, Oh, do you want to do this?
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, Oh no, and I'm like, Oh, yeah, and then you overthink it.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like rejection sensitivity, yeah.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's the one thing that will like send me spiralling, yeah.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think for me, what will send me spiraling?
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if the house, if I I know this sounds really silly, right?
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: But if I go to work and I come home and the house is a mess, yeah, I it automatically puts me in a bad mood because I put like I ask Craig and I say, when I come home, he knows it.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you ask him now, like what's the one thing Kirsty like wants to have when she comes home from work, it's it's to have the place tidy.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: I can't say automatically I've gone from like, and I think because I have such heightened emotions, I'm like so buzzy after teaching and stuff like that.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on like another planet, yeah.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then I come home and I walk into this and I'm just like room straight back down.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like what are you doing?
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I with you?
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: Who do you think like?
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: Can I literally switch personalities?
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: That was gonna be my next question.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love that.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um do you ever find yourself snapping at people when you're mentally exhausted?
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: Literally, I do, and it's Craig, he gets it the worst.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he does.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry about that, Craig.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: But he does get it at the work.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's on film, by the way.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: That was an apology, a recorded apology.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I've been with him nearly 20 years this year, so he does get it.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: That is a stint.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's a long time, isn't it?
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: Considering I'm 35.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: So you've gone through like lifetimes with him.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: So he understands if anyone can deal with that side of Kirsty, it's him.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: He's so laid back, thank goodness.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: He's like horizontal.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100%.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: But thank goodness he can deal with that side of Kirstie.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he he knows it's I just can't help it.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think because I know he can take it, it kind of gives me the okay to just let it out.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: Does that sound bad?
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: No, I get it.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: You need that in people sometimes, though.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_01: You need people who are gonna listen to you rather and just go flip one.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: I would literally walk out the room and be like, I don't even know why we're together anymore.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: Walk out, not traumatic in the slightest community.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, Why am I even married to you?
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: You can't even tie down.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, like that, the things I sometimes come out with, I know, just but he can take it and I just need to let it out.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then once I do, I don't apologize to him.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, because not something we recommend.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm just I'm just like we just get around it in another way.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then we're fine.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's just how our relationship is.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: We're very like, even though I do get like that, I'm a very laid back person as well.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: So we kind of just like within minutes, I'm over it.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: And he doesn't hold a grudge, luckily.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: So if he had a grudge, then we wouldn't still be together, basically.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: He's just like, right, come on, should we like watch a movie together or something?
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've tidied up the lounge now, and I'm like, okay, yeah, call with best friends again.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_01: See, I need three to five working days.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, let me give me a cooling off period and then come back and we can talk about it.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, I get over things really quickly.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: Probably too quick.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: People always say to me, like, I can't believe you're just okay with like moving, as we know, with stuff that's happened.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, yeah, it is what it is.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not gonna hold grudges.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't hold grudges.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's a rejection sensitivity thing.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, you showered at me, and I'm sad, and let me be sad.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_01: And no, I'll come back to you when I'm less sad.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's it, and then we're okay.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: But you've never shouted at me, so it's okay.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: No, I wouldn't shout at you because I'm not Craig.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_01: I don't make your house amount.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's because I can do it to him.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay, great.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Greg.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: Cheers.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: We'll keep you making one for the team.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, thank you.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well done, Craig.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well done, sir.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I think um, yeah, I do get massive, like heightened emotions.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not snappy, I'm an isolator.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I will just not talk to anybody.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: And you know this because Curse will then get messages like Jess hasn't replied, and I'm like, Yep.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_01: No, she hasn't.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: She's I shall reply.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: She's not going to at the minute.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_01: Give me five.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's just overwhelming sometimes, though, isn't it?
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just kind of like taking that time.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's so important to do, know your boundaries.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: And be like, actually, I don't need to reply to everybody all the time.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I am getting better at working on that and communicating why I'm not replying.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I I've got your message, thank you.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'll respond to you when I can, and then I just leave it at that.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: And if they choose to reply, that's fine.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: But I've told them when I can, and I don't need to give a reason for it.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: But people do get annoyed at me, especially like family and close friends, when I don't respond for like four or five days, and they're like, right, it's getting silly now.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I know, but when I have the mental capacity and I'm not annoyed at something, I will respond to you and we'll have a good conversation.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: But right now, you're gonna get a shissy little brat out of me, and that's not what you want, and it's not what I want, because I won't apologise for that either.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_01: So oh, I love it.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: Give me my side, you know what I mean?
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm less snappy, more silent.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I think that's worse sometimes when someone gives you the silent treatment, isn't it?
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's not necessarily at you though, do you know what I mean?
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like and that's why I'm getting better at trying to communicate to them.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's it, isn't it?
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a you thing, it's massively a me thing.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I just need space at the moment, yeah.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I see what I do, yeah.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: But then sometimes I do take it too far.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but that's okay.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_01: We're we're learning every day, right?
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_01: We are, we're working on it, and I think as you get older, it's when you go through these things and other people pick up on it for you and they're like, Do you know that you do this?
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, stop like you having to look at what I'm doing 24-7.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds weird.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: Put it into context.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: If we're working side by side on our laptops, I do now realize that every 30 to 50 seconds I do a slight lean and I check your screen.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: She literally checks what I do.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: No, I lean back again, and it's not it's literally I want to be involved.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's rejection.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_01: You're sat next to me and you're not letting me in.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: How long have we been friends for now, right?
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: And you've only just noticed you've done it because I've never bought it up.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, do you know what I mean?
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: I've just let you get on with it because I know it's just a thing that you do, and I'm okay with that.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not gonna be paranoid about it.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, not at all.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I know that you need to do that, and I'm always happy to tell you what I'm doing.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I like I've learned that about you, so that's why I always keep you now in the loop of everything that all the decisions I'm making, or before I make a decision, I'm like, Jess.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: Heads up, heads up, this is happening, and that's okay.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_00: I just need to know all the exactly, and that's fine.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's one of my coping mechanisms.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: I completely accept that about you.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's great.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it shows that you want to be involved.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's a good thing.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay, we'll take it as a good thing.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, it's fine.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want to check my phone?
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not, I don't need that much information.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what it is.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's like I don't, I don't know.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: I remember saying this to an ex-partner.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I before I can come back to you and discuss something, I need all the information that I can possibly get, and then I can make an informed, like not even a decision, but I can have an informed conversation about it.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: I hate being on the back foot.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think you just like to know what's going on.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, whatever you just like to know what I'm working on, what I'm doing.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: All I need to know is is she's still in the same thing?
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she's still on the same thing.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'll say I'm the same thing, and that's absolutely fine.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_01: She's moved on to something.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, do I need to be involved in that?
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_01: Is she gonna ask me to do something?
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because then I can finish this up and then I can get on.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's how my brain works.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's like preempting what's to come.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's fine.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_01: People could diagnose me with a lot of things, but it's just how I cook.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's just what I do everything.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, do you want another question?
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, go on.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_01: We've been talking for ages.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um okay, this is a good one.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: When someone asks you, how are you?
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: How often do you actually tell them the truth?
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I tell the right people the truth.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's interesting.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: What's your go-to answer if you don't want to discuss it?
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm feeling great.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: How are you?
• 39:07
  unknown: Bye back.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, bye back.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: How many good things?
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: You that's really good.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like percentage-wise, how often do you think you say the truth?
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um again, it depends what people are asking me, because I'm not gonna speak to like we've said before, I'm not gonna necessarily gonna tell my life story to people that I don't need to get stuff from.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's I think it's choosing, like if you say to me, How are you?
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be like, oh, feeling really shit today.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas if somebody else like in our class is like, how are you?
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be like, Yeah, I'm good.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm like there to provide a service.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I don't get me wrong though, a lot of my ladies hear a lot of my life story because I'll be like, Oh, do you know what will happen with my mortgage?
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, but you know, generally it's a safe space though, isn't it?
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's exactly I think it depends, it depends who's asking.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but and if I've had a drink or not, because then my chronicle overshader.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_00: There you go.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: One wine.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm a bit of an oversherer.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: The homeless man next door knows.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_00: But the right people, I will I would say 100% of the time I'll tell them if I'm okay or not.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: You'll you always know if I'm not okay or not.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I tell you.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, literally.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: I also feel it as soon as I walk into a room.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you do, you feel like you do, and you're like, because you are an energy person.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like you can feel your energy.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's always strong one way or the other.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's no middle ground, no, there's no calming your storm.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's not, it's either heat wave or absolute shit show.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like tsunami! It's one or the other, but yeah.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what about you?
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think I'm getting better at it, yeah.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_01: And not just going like, yeah, I'm fine or oh, not feeling great, and then just like rushing over it, sort of thing.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think I am better at going, do you know what?
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's not been a great day, but here we are.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then kind of like I al I can always tell with you, and then that's why I always dig.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_00: Is it?
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, yeah, look, I've spent thousands on therapy.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Jess, come on, come on, like, what's going on?
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I'll always ask you like random questions.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_01: You are good like that.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's the life coach inside me.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, on that subject, how do you feel about therapy?
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um because that's a big taboo thing.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_00: It is a big taboo thing, and I think everybody's different, and I think that is the key thing.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: Some people do need it.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of shit I've been through in my life that a lot of people would say I should have had therapy before or should now get therapy for.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_00: But I've worked on it myself.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't feel like I need therapy on it.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: I very much feel like I have like I've like self-sorted myself.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_01: Self-healing.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: Self-healing.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: You've got the skills though as well, it's a life clash, you know what I mean?
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you kind of know how to approach it and deal with it.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100%.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm like what some people will definitely need that side of things for.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_00: I personally didn't, and don't think I do.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like I genuinely, it's actually having this chat about with someone the other day about it, I genuinely feel okay about stuff that's happened in the past.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like actually, I don't need to talk about it anymore.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_00: It is what it is.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like that can I feel good in myself.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like I'm okay with it.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the key thing.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, whereas I do think some people need to talk about it.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I definitely think like there's no harm in trying.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_00: Trying stuff.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_00: Trying therapy, trying like it's we all cope with things differently.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_00: And like you say, I've from like the age of I don't know, when did I become a I became a body confidence and well-being coach when I had just after I had Mickey, so at what 26?
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_00: When I was 26, and that's when I dealt with a lot of stuff.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I think yeah, I think I've just literally had the skills from then to be able to deal with so stuff when stuff's come up come up like triggers, I've then learned how to deal with that myself as opposed to needing to go to someone else for that.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I get that.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's it's it's almost like if you've got a physical injury, you'd go and see a sports therapist or a massage therapist if it's hurting.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_01: If you've got an old injury, you don't keep going to that sports and massage therapist.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_01: If you know how to not make it come up again or not affect you on a daily basis, then that's not something that you need to, it's a trauma, isn't it?
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's a physical trauma.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the same thing if you've learned something yourself to be able to manage it, yeah, then that's what you can use.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I also think on the flip side, if an injury was hurting you, yeah, you would go and see a massage therapist or Therapist.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: So if your brain in some way is making you feel not great, like your body would feel not great with a physical injury, why would you not go and see therapist?
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just I think it's something that people are afraid of being judged about.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_01: I love a chat, obviously.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I think like when I went to therapy, I kind of went and went, Hi, this is my life.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think?
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: And she was like, um okay, we're gonna go back to the start and kind of dig into it.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it was for me, it changed my life, like absolutely saved me and made me rethink a lot of things because it was somebody else giving me a different perspective who didn't know me from Adam, didn't know any of my friends or family, was totally unbiased, and helped me kind of re-see myself from an outsider's point of view, like step out of my life and watch it like a film and go, oh, and then that happened.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, there was foreshadowing there.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_01: That was gonna happen later on because that happened, and like think about how I was dealing with it and how other people were dealing with certain situations, and I think I needed that at the time, yeah, because my own brain was in such a state that it couldn't do that for me.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I like needed, like when I had a problem with my shoulder, my shoulder was so tight it couldn't relax, so I went to a massage therapist, and I think it's exactly the same thing, and I think there's no shame in saying I need a bit of help figuring this out, and like rewiring my brain a little bit, and whether that is a therapist or whether that is someone close to you who's got the skills like you have, like now I've got free therapy, so don't need to spend those thousands anymore.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think it's okay just to reach out and talk to somebody and definitely whether that's a professional or not, like getting completely some sort of help.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, is and talking to the right person about thinking about getting help as well and going, I'm thinking about doing this.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_00: Can you support me in doing that?
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't, you know what I mean?
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you're struggling to actually make that move yourself, speaking to someone go, I'm thinking of getting counselling, you know, I don't really know where to start, like I'm feeling nervous, I'm feeling anxious about it.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_00: Can you support me on that?
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, like that's absolutely fine to do.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I think at any point in your journey as well, whether you are at crisis point or whether you just feel a little bit shit right now.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's absolutely fine.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like it'll help at any point, I think.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's never gonna be a hindrance to you.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, and then thinking about the right therapy as well.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely what you're gonna get out of it, what you're doing.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because we've all done a CBT course online.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_01: I love that anyway.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I just think it's one of those things of if you're thinking about it, you're thinking about it for a reason, and I highly recommend doing it.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, definitely there's no harm in it at all.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_01: Love that.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: This was a good episode, wasn't it?
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, less laughing this time.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know, but we'll bring more laughing next time, don't you worry.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_00: However, we do have to end on for a little win.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay, right.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have one in mind?
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, no, not at all.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm just gonna take a moment.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, wait, we can't do that on a podcast.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_00: We can't do that on a podcast.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to actually speak.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_00: Challenge for the week.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_00: I really enjoy trying something new.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I think I'm gonna try something new again and step out my channel.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna try something new again.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it does.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it's fun though.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm gonna try something new.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my challenge this week.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_01: She is still here every week.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm still here.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_01: Just thinking what it could be.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_01: Don't know what I want to do with my life.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe that's my challenge, figure out where I am in growing.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no, that is actually gonna be my challenge because obviously we start the podcast, we've got TikTok now, we're doing this, and I actually was like, Do you know what?
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people on TikTok have got like their brand and things like that.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have that, and then it made me get really introspective, and I was like, Well, who am I?
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_01: What is my life?
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_01: Love that.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_01: What do I stand for?
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_01: So, what I'm gonna do this week is figure out if I was a character in a film, like what would my purpose be?
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because I am a mem and I do help you run a business, yeah, and I'm bloody great, and I am a bit funny, but that can't be everything.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like we literally said, didn't we?
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_00: You're the funny one.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_01: You're the knowledgeable one.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_00: I do have a degree though.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_01: You do in performing arts, drama, in drama, and in education, exactly, you know, but life-wise, yeah, and I'm just not that funny.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not funny.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_00: I find myself really funny.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_00: You I am funny, yeah.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_00: I just get to see laugh with you, yeah.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's fine.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_00: I have a great time.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yin and yang.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_00: I literally have a great time.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's and that's great.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's good for you.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's um great.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_00: That is so good.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_00: Love that for you.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm gonna and I love like stepping out my comfort zone.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think you really find yourself when you step out your comfort zone, just so you know.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're looking to find yourself, anybody, including Jess, stepping out your comfort zone.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like the challenges I have done have definitely shaped who I am today.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: That includes cycling 350 miles from Paris to London, that includes walking Hadrian's Wall, which was nearly 90 miles.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_00: Right, these sound big, they're big.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: They're big challenges.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_00: But what I'm saying is remember that this segment is called Little Winds.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I know.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_00: But what I'm saying is, by doing these challenges, yeah, no matter how big or small they are, every single one takes you to learning more about yourself and who you are.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because those ones I really have to push through like my head and my mindset, you know, and then just going and doing the bike ride, for example, like we did, like it's almost a bit of anxiety of like, I don't know how it looks.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't know what I'm walking into.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_00: So then you're also then learning about how your brain works in that respect.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_00: So it's so good to step out your comfort zone.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because you do learn a lot about yourself.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's good.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm down to try your new thing.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: Brilliant.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then hopefully it will help me figure out my thing on my along the way.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying that by this time next week I'll have it fully sorted.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_01: You're just that I'll just be a little bit closer.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I think I've got myself figured out all the time, and I change my uh bio all the time.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, what a surprise.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_00: So it's okay.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_00: You might think you have it figured out, and then you might not solve.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_00: We change, we grow.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's part of life.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: What way to end the podcast?
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's life.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening, everybody, and we will see you all next week.
• 50:32
  unknown: Bye.