Latest / MyMaine Birth / 130. MyMaine Birth: Hannah's Story of a 5 Year Fertility Journey followed by a Home Birth involving a True Shoulder Dystocia with Care from her Loving Midwives at Northern Sun Family Healthcare

Transcript

130. MyMaine Birth: Hannah's Story of a 5 Year Fertility Journey followed by a Home Birth involving a True Shoulder Dystocia with Care from her Loving Midwives at Northern Sun Family Healthcare · MyMaine Birth

• 0:00
  Hannah: I loved the appointments because I went from like seeing the midwife at the hospital for like five minutes at a time to seeing Sarah for over an hour at our appointments and really getting into things.
• 0:14
  Hannah: So by the time I transferred to her at 33 weeks I had only gained two pounds in my pregnancy.
• 0:21
  Hannah: In my pregnancy so she really like focused on like diet and what I was eating and like up to my protein and was giving me supplements.
• 0:31
  Hannah: Like it was honestly a bit overwhelming just because I had transferred to her so late into my care so we were trying to fit it into like a six week time.
• 0:43
  Hannah: But she was amazing and my husband loved her and he was very nervous about the home birth and I think he just kind of blamed that on infertility, like which is fine.
• 0:56
  Hannah: But he was really like well, we've got our baby now, like we have to do everything we can, and he he just really wasn't as comfortable or educated about home birth as as I felt.
• 1:08
  Hannah: But our midwife actually really was amazing with him and gave him a lot of information and put him at ease, like her her home birth center is or I mean her birth center is like almost right across the street from the ambulance bay, like the fire station.
• 1:28
  Hannah: So she was like you know we're very close if something went wrong, but she was like we only have a 2% transfer rate, like she, she like really took the time to talk to him and myself, which was nice.
• 1:47
  Angela: I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced doula, childbirth educator and your host here on the my Maine Birth podcast.
• 1:56
  Angela: This is a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, from our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births.
• 2:08
  Angela: Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
• 2:12
  Angela: Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
• 2:21
  Angela: Welcome back.
• 2:24
  Angela: You're listening to episode 130 of my Main Birth.
• 2:28
  Angela: Today's birth story guest is Hannah, and she is here to share about her five-year journey with infertility and then about her pregnancy and home birth, which involved a true shoulder dystocia something that you definitely want a skilled midwife present, for which she had, fortunately, as well as a transfer to the hospital for her son around seven hours postpartum for some meconium aspiration.
• 2:55
  Angela: Hannah shares about her experience during the six subsequent days spent in the NICU, as well as the incredible and loving support of her midwife in guiding her through processing the entire experience in her postpartum time.
• 3:08
  Angela: This story here highlights perfectly why you might not want to just hire some doula or birthkeeper to attend your birth, because you've heard some propaganda about licensed midwives sabotaging births.
• 3:21
  Angela: Sure, having a doula or birthkeeper at your birth might be fine if everything goes perfectly, but in the case that it doesn't, midwives, skilled, trained, experienced midwives have the skills necessary to support you in that realm.
• 3:38
  Angela: Doulas do not, birthkeepers do not.
• 3:42
  Angela: At this point, I do not have those skills.
• 3:44
  Angela: However, I do believe the licensure laws around midwifery in Maine are unfair to women who are going to have a home birth, no matter what anybody else tells them.
• 3:55
  Angela: These are women who maybe have twins, a breech baby or have had more than one cesarean, just to name a few.
• 4:03
  Angela: And it's also unfair to the highly skilled midwives in our state who are more than qualified and feel comfortable to support these women.
• 4:11
  Angela: Like, if the law changed, not every midwife would have to take on twin pregnancies or breech births if they didn't feel comfortable with that.
• 4:20
  Angela: But for those that do, what the heck?
• 4:22
  Angela: Let these women have skilled midwives at their births if that's what they want.
• 4:26
  Angela: Women should not be basically backed into a corner to either free birth or be treated like crap in the hospital system, or hire a doula for some false sense of security, when the reality is that doula or birthkeeper cannot do much to support you if things do not go perfectly.
• 4:42
  Angela: Yeah, so without further ado, let's get into Hannah's story.
• 4:48
  Angela: Hi, hannah, welcome to my Maine Birth.
• 4:50
  Angela: Hi, to start, would you share a little bit about you and your family?
• 4:58
  Hannah: So my husband and son and I we live in Midcoast Maine, in Topsom, and we've only been here for a few years, but we did both grow up in Maine and we've been here forever.
• 5:10
  Hannah: And yeah, we went through five years of infertility before we had our son and so that kind of yeah just like leads up.
• 5:22
  Angela: I guess yeah.
• 5:23
  Angela: So would you share about how that all sort of started for you?
• 5:28
  Angela: When did you start to think about, yeah, having a baby?
• 5:32
  Hannah: Yeah, we got married in 2019.
• 5:35
  Hannah: And we never we never attempted to prevent pregnancy.
• 5:40
  Hannah: So I would say like we were just kind of expecting or waiting for it to happen.
• 5:45
  Hannah: When it happened, it was probably like a year and a half to two years.
• 5:49
  Hannah: In that we were like it's weird that it hasn't happened yet.
• 5:53
  Hannah: So then we like officially started trying, in the sense that we were like timing things and like using ovulation strips and stuff like that.
• 6:03
  Hannah: So, yeah, that's kind of how that came to be.
• 6:07
  Angela: So before you were married, were you using like birth control to like prevent pregnancy or like when did you stop like shifting like out of that and was that right about when you?
• 6:17
  Hannah: got married?
• 6:17
  Hannah: That's a good question.
• 6:19
  Hannah: I used the birth control pill for about nine months as a very early teen, just because I had irregular cycles and chronic pelvic pain and that just didn't like work for me.
• 6:33
  Hannah: So I ended up stopping taking that and I never used any sort of birth control before that, or before or after that actually, or, yeah, before or after that actually and I did have a pretty good idea a few years before I got married that we would.
• 6:51
  Hannah: I would probably have trouble conceiving, just with all of my history, my medical history and stuff were you having like problems with that would make you think that if you don't mind sharing, yeah, no, not at not at all.
• 7:03
  Hannah: I wasn't diagnosed until 2021, but I was dealing with endometriosis and later we found married.
• 7:29
  Hannah: I didn't like have those answers yet, but that is what was going on.
• 7:36
  Angela: So just for like a little bit of the history about that, like what were your sort of like cycles like when you were younger and like things that you were noticing like as you were, just like like things that you were noticing like as you were just got like working through some of those things, discovering it all yeah, I had very irregular cycles and the irregularity of them wasn't even consistent.
• 7:56
  Hannah: So I would sometimes skip cycles up to like 90 days, um, or I would have like two bleeds within a month and I had chronic pelvic pain since I was 13.
• 8:09
  Hannah: So I dealt with, I would say, mostly pain.
• 8:13
  Hannah: I had a lot of ovarian cysts as well, so those would like come and go, they would rupture, so it was kind of all over the place and I was just like never knowing what was going to happen and I didn't get too much care for that.
• 8:29
  Hannah: As an early teen I had.
• 8:31
  Hannah: I just had a really bad experience with the OB that I saw.
• 8:35
  Hannah: When I told her I was going to stop taking the birth control pill, she dropped me as a patient and wouldn't see me anymore.
• 8:44
  Hannah: So so that was deeply upsetting and I was like 15, I think maybe at the time, maybe even younger.
• 8:51
  Hannah: So basically I kind of thought that was it.
• 8:54
  Hannah: I wasn't, I wasn't under the impression that I could like really like get a different doctor if I wanted, or like pursue this, because I was like the pill is the only the only option and I it wasn't working for me.
• 9:08
  Hannah: So I kind of I never got treatment.
• 9:12
  Hannah: So from like 2014 to 2021, I didn't have any appointments or treatments.
• 9:20
  Angela: Wow, oh my gosh.
• 9:22
  Angela: Yeah, that's tough.
• 9:23
  Angela: How like, yeah, one bad experience, yeah, it can really lead you to not pursue care that you might need.
• 9:29
  Angela: You know, yeah, yeah.
• 9:32
  Angela: So you're two years into your marriage and you're wondering why you know you're not getting pregnant.
• 9:37
  Angela: What were sort of the next things that kind of unfolded as you started to get some of those diagnoses?
• 9:43
  Hannah: Yeah.
• 9:43
  Hannah: So I was seen mainly for the pain but also because we'd been trying for about two years at the time.
• 9:52
  Hannah: So I saw an OB in Portland at Mercy Hospital and she suggested a diagnostic laparoscopic surgery and that's where we found the endo.
• 10:07
  Hannah: She was trying to get to the root cause of our infertility, which technically I would say we didn't really.
• 10:18
  Hannah: She still diagnosed me with unexplained infertility, because doctors don't really know how endo contributes to infertility unless there's like a clear blockage or something within your tubes or something like that.
• 10:31
  Hannah: So she diagnosed me with endo and as well as unexplained infertility, and she.
• 10:39
  Hannah: Our next step was ovulation medication.
• 10:42
  Hannah: She was going to push ovulation and at the time I just didn't want to pursue that because I was ovulating on my own.
• 10:51
  Hannah: It was just kind of irregular.
• 10:53
  Hannah: So we never did pursue any sort of fertility treatments.
• 11:00
  Hannah: We did end up getting pregnant naturally.
• 11:02
  Hannah: But yeah, I wasn't really at peace with that at the time and I didn't want to like force my body to do something that it was already doing.
• 11:09
  Hannah: So we just kind of like after the surgery we're like let's just try for a few months and see if maybe that that helps so were you doing other things like with your health or like how was your diet?
• 11:24
  Angela: were you kind of like focusing on any like other things outside of, just like you know, the appointment?
• 11:30
  Hannah: Yeah, I would say I probably the only thing I did was focus on like diet and exercise.
• 11:36
  Hannah: I tried to do like an anti-inflammatory style diet which can help, I guess, with endo because it's an inflammatory disease.
• 11:46
  Hannah: So I would say, probably for like those few years, that was probably the only other thing that I educated about the disease and also about infertility, because I really didn't know anybody that had gone through that, at least like in my super close circle.
• 12:11
  Hannah: So there wasn't much that I was like trying to do myself at the time, like maybe I would now.
• 12:18
  Hannah: So, yeah, it wasn't honestly much.
• 12:21
  Hannah: We were just kind of like I was very naive, thinking that like you just have sex and you get pregnant, so so we were like expecting it to happen at any time.
• 12:33
  Angela: Really, yeah, so how was that like emotionally for you and your husband?
• 12:40
  Hannah: yeah, it was.
• 12:40
  Hannah: It was rough, I would say, for the first two to three years.
• 12:44
  Hannah: Like I said, said we were like any day, now it's going to happen.
• 12:47
  Hannah: So I feel like we had either we were just naive or we had a lot of hope in thinking that it would just happen.
• 12:55
  Hannah: But the further along it got, it was definitely more emotional for me and I was like, ok, this is really bad.
• 13:04
  Hannah: And then as the disease progressed it became more painful and I've always had had um pain with sex.
• 13:14
  Hannah: So like even just the attempting to try to get pregnant was like an emotional rollercoaster because it just wasn't an easy time.
• 13:23
  Hannah: So that that was really bad for me emotionally.
• 13:28
  Hannah: And then my husband was more, I would say more of like my rock.
• 13:34
  Hannah: I wish that I had supported him more through it because I know it can take a toll on the husbands as well, and I think he was.
• 13:44
  Hannah: He tried just putting on a brave face most of the time.
• 13:47
  Hannah: It wasn't until we met our best friends now who also went through infertility, where he really had someone to connect with and kind of like let that out.
• 13:58
  Hannah: So we were just shy of five years deep into trying, when I was having an extremely bad endo flare.
• 14:11
  Hannah: It had continued for about three weeks, which was very long for me, and I was in a lot of pain.
• 14:18
  Hannah: And it got to the point where I thought maybe I had an ectopic pregnancy, because I was having a lot of pain on one side and it wasn't going away.
• 14:27
  Hannah: So one day I just tested, because with ectopic I read that you'd still get, um, you'd still get a positive.
• 14:37
  Hannah: And so I was like kind of for the heck of it, I wasn't even expecting like that it would be, but I was like, whatever, I should just kind of rule this out.
• 14:49
  Hannah: And so I was just home alone and I tested and I think I I just like left it in the bathroom.
• 14:56
  Hannah: I kind of almost like just set it and forget it.
• 14:59
  Hannah: And then I went back and it was extremely positive, very bright, like no, no questions about it, and I just like broke down, I like fell on the floor and I was just bawling my eyes out and all I could say was thank you, jesus, like over and over.
• 15:20
  Hannah: And it was so unexpected, over and over.
• 15:29
  Hannah: And it was so unexpected, which is weird to say, because when you're trying and trying like, you would expect it to happen, but we had.
• 15:33
  Hannah: We had gotten to the point where we had stopped all ovulation testing, like we weren't trying, in the sense that we were letting it really like rule our lives, and so it came as a shock.
• 15:47
  Hannah: In that way, had you?
• 15:49
  Angela: gotten a positive pregnancy?
• 15:51
  Angela: No, you're good Any point throughout the four or five years that you were trying.
• 15:56
  Hannah: Yeah, I never got a positive pregnancy test.
• 15:58
  Hannah: I did have a very early miscarriage and I never even got to test for that.
• 16:03
  Hannah: I didn't realize or even think about testing until I miscarriage and I never even got to test for that.
• 16:06
  Hannah: I didn't realize or even think about testing until until I miscarried.
• 16:09
  Hannah: Um, and it was.
• 16:11
  Hannah: Yeah, it was extremely early.
• 16:13
  Hannah: I don't even know if I had like missed a cycle yet and it was probably.
• 16:18
  Hannah: I think that was like a year and a half before our first positive test.
• 16:25
  Hannah: But honestly, like seeing the positive test, like I was, I was emotional, I was like happy, but not because I in my mind I was still thinking this is probably like an ectopic or I might be miscarrying because of the pain that I'm having.
• 16:42
  Hannah: So I called my mom and I was like, can you bring me to the hospital?
• 16:48
  Hannah: And unfortunately we didn't get like this amazing, like surprise and like all these cute videos or anything.
• 16:56
  Hannah: I pretty much told all of my close people over the phone because I was just in shock.
• 17:02
  Hannah: But so she, yeah, she took me to the hospital and then my husband met me there and the hard part was we left not knowing whether it was a topic or if I was miscarrying because it was so early.
• 17:17
  Hannah: So I tested two weeks to the day after conception.
• 17:23
  Hannah: So I'm honestly surprised we got a positive test at all.
• 17:27
  Hannah: But so it was so, so early.
• 17:31
  Hannah: They couldn't see anything on ultrasound and he and so the doctor was like, well, because of the amount of pain you're in, you could be miscarrying could be a topic.
• 17:42
  Hannah: So we had to wait five more weeks for our first, well, our next ultrasound and that was like the worst time of my life.
• 17:55
  Angela: Yeah, oh, wow.
• 17:56
  Angela: So how was it when you finally got to that next ultrasound, then appointment.
• 18:01
  Hannah: It was a relief, like seeing something and seeing the heartbeat and all that, but the relief is so short lived.
• 18:10
  Hannah: I feel like after infertility or loss, because in the moment it's like you know, like we made it to here.
• 18:18
  Hannah: But it was a lot of anxiety following that, like every time I went pee I was looking for blood and it was definitely.
• 18:28
  Hannah: I wish I could have been more happy during the like first two trimesters, but it was hard.
• 18:37
  Angela: How was the rest of your pregnancy?
• 18:38
  Angela: How were you like physically feeling, aside from, like, the anxiety?
• 18:43
  Angela: How did things go for you?
• 18:45
  Hannah: Yeah, I would say that my pregnancy was like amazing.
• 18:49
  Hannah: I loved every minute of pregnancy.
• 18:52
  Hannah: I had pretty standard morning sickness from like six to 12 weeks.
• 18:57
  Hannah: I did get symphysis pubis around like 11 weeks which caused some discomfort and pain.
• 19:08
  Hannah: I went to physical therapy for a while and that helped, but he was a big boy, so I think that might have contributed, but other than that it was.
• 19:21
  Hannah: It was amazing Like I I kind of knew like it was going to be my only pregnancy.
• 19:30
  Hannah: Right before we conceived I had actually been talking with a doctor about getting a hysterectomy because of my disease had progressed so bad, but so I wasn't planning on having any future pregnancies.
• 19:42
  Hannah: So like I really just cherished it so much and I would like cry every day because it was going by so fast and I just took like a million pictures.
• 19:55
  Angela: Oh my gosh, yes, take all the pictures like every day.
• 19:59
  Angela: Yeah, good, yeah, oh, wow.
• 20:03
  Angela: So how was your like sort of anxiety about all of the things as the pregnancy progressed and you started to like feel baby move?
• 20:11
  Hannah: Yeah, I would say probably around the time I started to feel him move.
• 20:16
  Hannah: So like 18, 20 weeks to on, I I felt a lot better.
• 20:23
  Hannah: I was kind of like this is it like it's happening?
• 20:27
  Hannah: And yeah, so it wasn't as bad.
• 20:30
  Hannah: It was a little stressful a couple of times if I like didn't feel him move for a period of time, but I was pretty good at waiting.
• 20:42
  Hannah: I was also really stressed to go into the hospital and like hear something bad.
• 20:47
  Hannah: So I was like I'll just wait, like I won't go in.
• 20:51
  Hannah: I went in one time for fetal monitoring, I think after he had moved for a while, but everything looked great and it was very reassuring.
• 21:02
  Hannah: So awesome.
• 21:05
  Angela: I think that was actually like one of the questions I kind of skipped at the beginning.
• 21:08
  Angela: So, like what were your thoughts in choosing your care?
• 21:11
  Angela: Like where did you like decide on for that, for what you wanted for your birth?
• 21:15
  Hannah: Yeah, I have grown up around home birth, like my mom had four home births and all my sisters were doing home births, and so that was like in my mind I always knew that that was what I wanted.
• 21:25
  Hannah: But the pregnancy came as like such a shock and everything happened so fast that when we left the hospital, not knowing at that, you know, at that first like two week or four week mark, we like we didn't have answers.
• 21:42
  Hannah: So we were planning to go back to get our first ultrasound and they just like set up care with the.
• 21:50
  Hannah: They're like call the OB department to set up your ultrasound.
• 21:54
  Hannah: So I did, and so like, essentially I had established care with them and I was like, so we just kind of like went, started going to these appointments and in my mind I wasn't like, oh, I'm having a hospital birth.
• 22:08
  Hannah: But we weren't really thinking that far ahead.
• 22:11
  Hannah: We were just I was being really silly, I guess.
• 22:14
  Hannah: But when it came down to it, the hospital asked if I wanted to see the OBs or the midwives that they have there, and I was like, let's see the midwives.
• 22:25
  Hannah: But I ended up transferring my care at 33 weeks pregnant to a home birth midwife in my area because I was not feeling those appointments.
• 22:39
  Hannah: We had what they call centering class, so our prenatal appointments were in a group of people, like we all had our prenatal appointments together, and this was at Midcoast Hospital in Brunswick and there was a lot of things that I didn't like about it.
• 23:02
  Hannah: The midwife that I saw, like I loved her, but the chance also of getting her, of her being like on call, was low.
• 23:12
  Hannah: There were like six midwives so, and then during the appointments a nurse from the hospital, um, like has to sit in and like she kind of ran it and she was.
• 23:26
  Hannah: She was deeply upset by some of our choices and she then started like calling us out in group and oh no, it was, it was upsetting.
• 23:38
  Hannah: So I like I want to leave.
• 23:40
  Hannah: What?
• 23:42
  Angela: kind of thing was she calling you out for?
• 23:44
  Angela: That's crazy.
• 23:55
  Hannah: Yeah, so I was not getting any of the recommended pregnancy shots and so during like when we would see the midwife for like our measurements and our belly checks, we would go off in a room with her it wasn't that part, wasn't in group and then they would like give you your vaccine during that time.
• 24:12
  Hannah: But when she found out like I wasn't getting any, she just started bringing out the vaccines in group and just like giving them to people in front of everybody except for me.
• 24:24
  Hannah: So like everybody then knew like what we were denying or accepting for care, and my midwife was even like she's, she'll be okay, like this is your choice.
• 24:36
  Hannah: But she was not okay.
• 24:38
  Hannah: Um, but I did find out when I was postpartum.
• 24:42
  Hannah: I went back for an appointment and she had been like removed, I guess because no one really cared for her.
• 24:52
  Angela: I can't imagine why.
• 24:53
  Angela: Yeah, that is ridiculous.
• 24:57
  Angela: Wow, so do you care to share who you shifted to at that point in your pregnancy?
• 25:04
  Hannah: Yeah, so I shifted to the care of Dr Sarah Ackerley.
• 25:08
  Hannah: She's a natural doctor and has a birth center in Topsom.
• 25:12
  Hannah: I loved her.
• 25:14
  Hannah: And then my assistant midwife was Morgie I don't unfortunately don't even know her last name.
• 25:21
  Hannah: I never met her until my birth, but she was amazing, so Awesome.
• 25:29
  Angela: So how were appointments once you shifted into, like home birth?
• 25:35
  Angela: Were you planning a home birth or a birth center birth with her?
• 25:38
  Angela: A home birth, home birth yeah, how was your appointments looking?
• 25:42
  Hannah: Yeah, I loved the appointments because I went from like seeing the midwife at the hospital for like five minutes at a time to seeing Sarah for over an hour at our appointments and really getting into things.
• 25:57
  Hannah: So by the time I transferred to her at 33 weeks, I had only gained two pounds in my pregnancy and so she really like focused on like diet and what I was eating and like up to my protein and was giving me supplements.
• 26:14
  Hannah: Like it was honestly a bit overwhelming just because I had transferred to her so late into my care so we were trying to fit it into like a six week time.
• 26:26
  Hannah: But she was amazing and my husband loved her and he was very nervous about the home birth and I think he just kind of blamed that on infertility like which is fine, but he was really like well, we've got our baby now, like we have to do everything we can, and he he just really wasn't as comfortable or educated about home birth as as I felt.
• 26:52
  Hannah: But our midwife actually really was amazing with him and gave him a lot of information and put him at ease.
• 26:59
  Hannah: Like her birth center is almost right across the street from the ambulance bay, like the fire station.
• 27:06
  Hannah: So she was like you know we're very close if something went wrong, but she was like we only have a 2% transfer rate, like she.
• 27:17
  Hannah: She like really took the time to talk to him and myself, which was nice.
• 27:25
  Angela: Yeah, that can really help because the whole attitude and like energy of everyone like going into birth, really makes a difference on the outcome.
• 27:33
  Angela: So to have a midwife that's going to take that extra time to really explain everything and like make your husband comfortable is just so special.
• 27:42
  Hannah: Yeah.
• 27:44
  Angela: So what were those like final weeks and then days looking like leading up to when your birth started?
• 27:50
  Hannah: Yeah, I was enormous, as I'm sure most people feel, and I was really just I was kind of an emotional wreck because I was like it's gonna be over, like I felt like I always wanted to experience pregnancy, sometimes even more than like I wanted to have a baby.
• 28:14
  Hannah: That kind of sounded weird, but I was like not knowing if I ever would.
• 28:19
  Hannah: I just like really enjoyed it and and I felt I just felt like it was slipping away.
• 28:24
  Hannah: But, that being said, I wasn't like upset.
• 28:28
  Hannah: I w I was very happy but yeah, it was.
• 28:32
  Hannah: It was great.
• 28:33
  Hannah: I um I remember trying to just like every night, get to bed early in case it was the night.
• 28:42
  Hannah: Um, I thought, for no like real reason, I was like, oh, maybe I'll go early.
• 28:49
  Hannah: It was probably just me like hoping to not to not like go late, honestly, but um, I didn't go early.
• 28:58
  Hannah: So I was like really preparing like weeks a couple of weeks in advance, like getting to bed early and getting enough sleep and having the house ready, um.
• 29:08
  Hannah: But I did get a little let down a little bit once I hit my due date, which I don't really I don't really go by due date, so I wasn't putting too much pressure on that itself.
• 29:23
  Hannah: But I was like, okay.
• 29:25
  Hannah: Now I knew I was like, okay, he's not coming early, obviously.
• 29:28
  Hannah: So then I just kind of had to hunker down and wait.
• 29:32
  Hannah: And everyone was like, when were you doing?
• 29:35
  Hannah: When are you doing?
• 29:36
  Angela: I was like like five days ago like, oh boy, so how long did that go on, for I?
• 29:46
  Hannah: had him at 41 weeks.
• 29:48
  Hannah: So, yeah, it was a week past our due date and I was as big as a house.
• 29:55
  Hannah: I, yeah I was.
• 29:56
  Hannah: People insisted I was having twins or triplets and I was like, I promise you I'm not.
• 30:02
  Hannah: But he like, my first pregnancy symptom was hunger.
• 30:07
  Hannah: Like I woke up with extreme hunger almost immediately and I lost 20 pounds during pregnancy.
• 30:13
  Hannah: He, he just like, took everything I could give him, took everything I could give him.
• 30:27
  Hannah: He was huge.
• 30:27
  Hannah: So I just like ate, ate us out of house and home and waited, waited an extra week.
• 30:30
  Angela: Oh my goodness.
• 30:31
  Angela: So how did things finally get started with your labor?
• 30:36
  Hannah: Yeah, so at exactly 41 weeks I had gone to bed, of course, late.
• 30:41
  Hannah: I went to bed at like 1130 that night.
• 30:45
  Hannah: I woke up to pee at 330.
• 30:47
  Hannah: I had woken up with a contraction but I hadn't really realized that yet.
• 30:52
  Hannah: I thought I just had to pee and I never had a single contraction during my pregnancy until I was in labor.
• 31:00
  Hannah: So I had nothing to really go by in terms of that, like I didn't.
• 31:08
  Hannah: I'd never had Braxton Hicks or anything.
• 31:10
  Hannah: So I went pee and as soon as I laid back down I had another contraction and I was like, oh, that's probably why I woke up, and of course I was so excited.
• 31:23
  Hannah: So, instead of like resting, I got up immediately and woke up my mom, because she was staying with us at the time, because I wanted her at my birth, and I was like it's time it's happening and so, yeah, I didn't rest, but but they it did, it did seem to like start progressing, though like pretty quickly, which was nice.
• 31:48
  Hannah: I I don't know if I could have really rested too much through them, not because they were like really painful, but just because I was like it's, this is definitely it like.
• 31:58
  Hannah: And at 41 weeks and having never had contractions, I was like it's, this is definitely it Like.
• 32:00
  Hannah: And at 41 weeks and having never had contractions, I was like this can't be fake, right?
• 32:05
  Hannah: So, and then my doula my sister Megan, was my doula and so she was also staying in the area, cause she lived like two hours away.
• 32:15
  Hannah: Wait, was this like?
• 32:17
  Angela: it was just shared too.
• 32:17
  Hannah: Yes, who was just shared too.
• 32:28
  Hannah: Yes, oh, my god, yeah she.
• 32:29
  Hannah: So I called her and she came.
• 32:30
  Hannah: I think she came over a couple hours later.
• 32:31
  Hannah: But I waited a few hours to wake up my husband because he was gonna have to call out of work and I was like let's just make sure, let's make sure that, like my uterus isn't like tearing me or something.
• 32:41
  Hannah: But yeah, probably around 530.
• 32:50
  Hannah: I woke him up, we called the midwife at some point after that maybe close to six or 630.
• 32:53
  Hannah: And she was like she listened to a contraction, was like okay, like maybe call me in like an hour or two or something.
• 32:58
  Hannah: And I went and laid in our tub for a while.
• 33:02
  Hannah: We hadn't set up the birth pool yet, so I was like I need some hot water.
• 33:07
  Hannah: So I laid in our tub and at eight yeah, it was around eight that I, my body kind of like, started to have like a pushing reflex a couple times in the tub.
• 33:22
  Hannah: So I was like wow, this is really fast, Like.
• 33:25
  Hannah: But I was like there's no way, there's.
• 33:29
  Hannah: No, I'm ready to push.
• 33:30
  Hannah: But we did call my midwife again and was like you know, this is what I felt.
• 33:34
  Hannah: So she came and then the assistant midwife came and they were just doing their thing.
• 33:41
  Hannah: They were like setting up and doing all that.
• 33:45
  Hannah: I at some point started to have really intense back labor.
• 33:50
  Hannah: I would say probably that's the only thing during the labor and delivery that happened was really, I would say, painful.
• 34:01
  Hannah: My poor doula like she was amazing.
• 34:06
  Hannah: She followed me around with every contraction and did hip squeezes for like two hours.
• 34:15
  Hannah: Um, we were like on the stairs and that was the one point in my labor that I got a little irritable and snappy.
• 34:22
  Hannah: I was like get over here because it was bad.
• 34:27
  Hannah: But I knew, like I did know, that that wouldn't last.
• 34:32
  Hannah: I mean potentially most likely wouldn't last the rest of the labor.
• 34:36
  Hannah: I figured he was probably just turning or moving down and so I was like we can get through this and we set up.
• 34:47
  Hannah: We set up the pool.
• 34:51
  Hannah: Probably not long after they got there, the midwives got there and I got pretty comfy in the pool for a while, for a few hours, and I wouldn't say like it stalled anything.
• 35:02
  Hannah: But I wasn't progressing too much for those few hours and my midwives were like let's, let's walk around, let's do the stairs, you know.
• 35:14
  Hannah: Um, they really wanted me to sit on the toilet.
• 35:17
  Hannah: But that was, um, I hated the toilet, I it.
• 35:22
  Hannah: It was obviously way more intense.
• 35:24
  Hannah: So I was like no, no, like I don't need the toilet, but I did.
• 35:29
  Hannah: I did a few times to sit on the toilet and, all in all, like I think I think my labor progressed very well, Um, even with those few hours in the tub where it was kind of slow.
• 35:43
  Hannah: Um, it was only 13 hours in total, um, which is a win in my book for a first pregnancy, a first labor and delivery.
• 35:53
  Hannah: So, but yeah, it was around, I'd say let's like 2 PM.
• 35:58
  Hannah: I was back in the pool, probably pretty close or in transition by then, and I was so exhausted I was falling asleep between contractions and they were like spoon feeding me honey and smoothie to try and like get a little bit of a energy boost, which I'm glad.
• 36:23
  Hannah: I'm glad they did.
• 36:24
  Hannah: I wasn't really in the in the headspace to to stay hydrated or like ask for a bite to eat, so.
• 36:33
  Hannah: So that was nice and so, yeah, it was probably around 2 PM.
• 36:39
  Hannah: I was in.
• 36:39
  Hannah: That was when I was in transition because I pushed for about two hours.
• 36:43
  Hannah: So I did get out of the pool because I asked Sarah to check me because I was feeling a little like pushy.
• 36:53
  Hannah: I was feeling ready to push, so my water still had not broken and she was like asked if I wanted her to break them and she, because I was like at nine centimeters, I think was like asked if I wanted her to break them and she, cause I was like at nine centimeters, I think, was like a lip.
• 37:08
  Hannah: So she was like if we break your waters for you, then you might start feeling more pressure, and you, and so I asked her to break my waters and she did, and then we got back.
• 37:23
  Hannah: We got back into the pool and I was immediately pushing at that point and, uh, as soon as I felt the burning, I was like this feels so good and everyone laughed at me.
• 37:36
  Hannah: But I was just like now, alert in the mode like he's coming, alert in the mode like he's coming, and I yeah, I mean I pushed for about two hours, but to me it felt very fast.
• 37:50
  Hannah: It felt like I pushed for like 20 minutes.
• 37:51
  Hannah: Um, which is good, I guess, looking back on it.
• 37:53
  Hannah: But so he I had pushed him out to his ears, his entire head didn't come out.
• 38:01
  Hannah: I was looking, I had a mirror down.
• 38:03
  Hannah: I was looking and I had a mirror down.
• 38:04
  Hannah: I was looking and I thought his whole head had come out.
• 38:06
  Hannah: But my midwives knew that he'd only come out to his ears.
• 38:09
  Hannah: But I didn't then get another contraction for maybe close to 10 minutes.
• 38:15
  Hannah: We tried nipple stimulation, pretty much everything we could.
• 38:20
  Hannah: And so I was like can I bear down a little even without a contraction?
• 38:25
  Hannah: And they're like, yeah, like if you want to.
• 38:27
  Hannah: So I started to bear down and then I did end up getting a contraction, but there was no progress in birthing the rest of his head.
• 38:37
  Hannah: So the assistant midwife Morgie was like, okay, we're going to.
• 38:41
  Hannah: It was the next contraction.
• 38:42
  Hannah: If he doesn't come out, you're going to have to roll your hands and knees.
• 38:45
  Hannah: So I my next contraction still no progress, um, with delivering his the rest of his head.
• 38:52
  Hannah: So I quickly rolled to my hands and knees, got a really intense contraction in that position and I didn't know at the time, but she was, she had gone up to like help deliver him because we had some shoulder dystocia and I didn't know like it was so smooth and like peaceful.
• 39:14
  Hannah: They weren't like giving me anxiety about what could have been going on, and so that was like amazing.
• 39:22
  Hannah: I just thought I was having a really intense contraction, Um, and the contraction she helped like deliver him essentially.
• 39:31
  Hannah: She turned him and then he was delivered with that contraction and she, um, I just rolled over and she gave him to me and, um, they did do a little suction.
• 39:41
  Hannah: He was a little dusky, um, at birth and they suctioned him for a little bit but then he pinked right up and, um, he latched almost right away and we sat in the pool for about 20 minutes with him, um, latching and breastfeeding and my, my, yeah, I wasn't getting any like contractions or feeling like my placenta was going to be delivered.
• 40:08
  Hannah: So I wanted to move to the bed with him and upon standing, I was like I almost passed out.
• 40:17
  Hannah: So I told them I was like I think I might pass out and so they were like quick, quick, sit on the ground and I I sat for a minute and then they walked me to the bed and pretty, pretty soon after, I deliver my placenta and then I started having a hemorrhage and so that kind of like was that was a whirlwind.
• 40:41
  Hannah: Um't honestly remember like too much of like the details other than like my husband was out here doing skin to skin with our son, and then the midwives were like weighing the cloths and the chucks pads and I she ended up giving me I think two, maybe three bags of fluids.
• 41:06
  Hannah: I got a couple shots of pitocin to help get the rest of the like the blood and the clots out and like.
• 41:15
  Hannah: After it was all, she gave me some herbs and stuff too.
• 41:18
  Hannah: Like I don't even remember all that she gave me, but after that was over I had lost a little over five cups of blood.
• 41:27
  Hannah: But with the, with the fluids, I was feeling pretty good, Like I definitely I got really pale and stuff like that, but overall I wasn't like nervous.
• 41:39
  Hannah: They didn't seem nervous, they were just like calmly doing their thing.
• 41:44
  Hannah: She never mentioned a transfer, so I was like I know that I'm fine and I am just so grateful that I didn't like have to get dressed and like transfer to the hospital because she was so great because she was so great.
• 42:07
  Angela: Yeah, wow, that is, that's incredible, and it is nice to really trust your midwives and you know, and to trust their skills and to trust that they know when to say you know, we need to go in for some more support for this, you know.
• 42:16
  Hannah: I think it was about seven hours after the delivery that she made that call for our son.
• 42:23
  Hannah: Actually because he started aspirating and we were giving him oxygen for it at home, but she was like he'll need oxygen for a while.
• 42:34
  Hannah: He had ingested like a ton of meconium.
• 42:37
  Hannah: My birth pool was full of it when I delivered him.
• 42:40
  Hannah: There was a lot so.
• 42:41
  Hannah: So we did transfer for him and we had a six day NICU stay for oxygen, and that was extremely rough for me.
• 42:54
  Angela: Yeah, oh, my goodness, just after your beautiful home birth.
• 42:57
  Angela: It's hard, but it's like necessary, hard right.
• 43:03
  Angela: Like, yeah, do you want to walk me through, like the highlights that you want to share?
• 43:07
  Hannah: about it.
• 43:08
  Hannah: Yeah, so we, we went by ambulance because we actually hadn't like got or installed his car seat yet, we hadn't even like thought about that.
• 43:19
  Hannah: So we did get transported by ambulance and we got there and they the doctors, were great.
• 43:26
  Hannah: Like, when we got there they were like really on top of it and just like got right on him.
• 43:33
  Hannah: But it was hard because, like I knew what we were going in for we're going in for oxygen and they were like, well, now, like like hospital protocol, you have to have two rounds of antibiotics until we like while we wait to make sure he doesn't have an infection.
• 43:51
  Hannah: And like they, they were like forcing a binky on him, even though he didn't want it.
• 43:59
  Hannah: They kept dipping it in sugar water and like forcing him to take it and he just like kept spinning it out and I I had just got stitched up too at home, like I had quite a few stitches and but like was just like trying to heal during those days and also like trying to advocate.
• 44:22
  Hannah: So we caved to like the vitamin k shot, because the doctor every morning on rounds was like he needs this, like he could bleed out and die, like you can't circumcise him, you know if he doesn't have this.
• 44:38
  Hannah: And we were like just we spent like the whole six days we only got nine hours of sleep total and I was like in a lot of pain and so, yeah, I I have regret about that but I am also glad that that was all that we kind of let them do.
• 45:04
  Hannah: But it was really sad.
• 45:05
  Hannah: Like he had they couldn't find a good spot for his IV in his hands or his arms or his feet, so they had to put one in his head and they I believe yeah, he had to have a feeding tube.
• 45:20
  Hannah: I say had to.
• 45:20
  Hannah: I don't really know Like this is coming from, like the doctor's perspective, I would say, but because of him needing oxygen, I'm guessing that's why he needed the feeding tube for a few days.
• 45:33
  Hannah: And it was hard because they were really picky about like me holding him.
• 45:38
  Hannah: I could only hold him and do skin to skin for 30 minutes once a day.
• 45:43
  Hannah: They wanted him to stay in the bed.
• 46:05
  Hannah: They wouldn't let me fall asleep with him in like in the chair.
• 46:07
  Hannah: I would like fall asleep.
• 46:08
  Hannah: This is their safety, like policy.
• 46:09
  Hannah: I don't really know how to just ignore it.
• 46:10
  Hannah: So that was hard.
• 46:11
  Hannah: And then, by like day four, when the feeding tube had come out, I I knew that he was like starving, he was not getting enough food and their policy is like they, they can only have.
• 46:25
  Hannah: Babies can only have up to like one ML or something.
• 46:29
  Hannah: It's equivalent to like half an ounce of of milk or colostrum.
• 46:35
  Hannah: So I, I just like took over and I was not having it and I was like I am breastfeeding him, like along with what they gave him, because once the tube came out, they were giving it to him in like a syringe and I was like I'm giving him more.
• 46:54
  Hannah: And they were like, oh, okay, like, yeah, like you can do what you want.
• 46:58
  Hannah: So he, um, I didn't know how much he was getting, obviously like through the breast, but it was a lot more.
• 47:09
  Hannah: And by the time we got home, um, which was six, he was six days old he was eating six ounces every two hours.
• 47:18
  Hannah: So I was like, yeah, half an ounce was not doing it, he was starving.
• 47:25
  Angela: So, yeah, you still know what's best.
• 47:29
  Angela: You know, even if it's your first time doing it and you have never been through like this experience before, like you have to trust your intuition, you know.
• 47:37
  Angela: Yeah, so you're still only three months postpartum, is that right?
• 47:42
  Hannah: No, he is two and a half.
• 47:44
  Hannah: Two and a half.
• 47:45
  Angela: Okay.
• 47:46
  Angela: So how was your postpartum, after you got home from the hospital, those first few months, integrating?
• 48:02
  Hannah: Yeah, it was wonderful, it was so smooth.
• 48:03
  Hannah: I just kind of implemented a lot of the things that, like my mom had done and that I had kind of planned to do.
• 48:07
  Hannah: I really liked having that plan and thankfully, my son kind of just really adapted to that.
• 48:14
  Hannah: Well, he loved sleep and he loved his crib, his crib.
• 48:27
  Hannah: So we did contact naps every day but he didn't really love so thankfully, like cause, we did some sleep training with him and it just kind of worked out that he really only liked his crib.
• 48:43
  Hannah: So, yes, like he was a champ at sleeping, breastfeeding was really wonderful and it went smooth.
• 48:47
  Hannah: I didn't breastfeed for as long as I wanted.
• 48:49
  Hannah: I did end up like losing my supply, but it went so good.
• 48:54
  Hannah: I didn't have I was blessed to not have any like postpartum depression.
• 49:00
  Hannah: Like postpartum depression, I just kind of soaked it all up and we we did have friends over a lot, which, um, which I liked.
• 49:15
  Hannah: I know a lot of people I felt kind of abnormal in this but like a lot of people you know, want some time.
• 49:18
  Hannah: We we just kind of carried on as normal I guess, and we just kind of wanted everyone to see him and love on him.
• 49:26
  Hannah: So I liked that and yeah, honestly I don't think it could have gone any better.
• 49:35
  Angela: Oh, that's good.
• 49:36
  Angela: I'm so glad to hear that after the, you know little bumps in the road.
• 49:40
  Angela: So how were you still had care with your midwife, I'm assuming postpartum also, how was that the support from her, seeing her like after all of that and like debriefing and, yeah, just having her care for the postpartum period?
• 49:56
  Hannah: Yeah, I loved that, like I felt like a VIP, like a VIP patient with her, as I'm sure all her patients do, and it was nice to have somebody come into your home and like check you and bring you supplements or sits, bath stuff, and she was just a delight and I could like tell her anything and ask her questions.
• 50:30
  Hannah: I absolutely loved it and she's still my doctor and my son's pediatrician and so we're, so we were so blessed by her care.
• 50:44
  Angela: Oh, that's amazing.
• 50:45
  Angela: It really is like next level care, like you said, like VIP care.
• 50:49
  Hannah: I love that, yeah, and yeah, was it helpful like having her there to like help you debrief and like process like better, like everything that had kind of happened in that like whirlwind of like the short postpartum, like time yeah, she was actually like the key person for that um, I remember at some of my later like my farther out postpartum appointments, she ended up bringing that up and was like so have you processed like the whole hospital stay and the trauma?
• 51:23
  Hannah: And I was like what trauma?
• 51:25
  Hannah: But then as I like, as I was talking, I was like spilling all of my frustrations and I was like oh, yeah, um, and she like recommended um a therapist in the office if I needed and really talked through it with me and she actually like shared some, some of the stuff that had happened that I hadn't noticed in my postpartum state.
• 51:53
  Hannah: She was like, yeah, did you see they did this?
• 51:55
  Hannah: And I was like, no, I did not.
• 51:57
  Hannah: So she was really great with that and I I still will think about it and get like really upset at times.
• 52:09
  Hannah: Like as soon as we had left the NICU we drove my husband like drove like a mile down the road and we stopped at a gas station and we both just burst into tears because we were so drained and like so sad and just tired and so processing all that like with her and the fact that she like really cared enough to help us with that was really nice.
• 52:42
  Angela: Yeah, that it is.
• 52:44
  Angela: It's a lot for sure To have that support is is instrumental.
• 52:49
  Angela: So, as a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who is expecting, or even new parents, what's one of the biggest things you'd want to share at this point in your journey?
• 53:01
  Hannah: Yeah, I would say really like, educate yourself on all of the avenues.
• 53:07
  Hannah: I would say a lot of people do what they know or what is expected of them or even what's kind of just like mainstream.
• 53:18
  Hannah: But like I really do think that there's power in education and knowledge.
• 53:24
  Hannah: And a lot of people walk away with traumatic births and the statistics of that are like really sad, whether it's home birth or hospital birth.
• 53:39
  Hannah: I think that could those could be a lot lower those statistics.
• 53:42
  Hannah: Hospital birth I think that could those could be a lot lower those statistics.
• 53:46
  Hannah: And you're not going to find out what works for you and what you like if you only know one thing.
• 53:49
  Hannah: So that would be my, my recommendation.
• 53:53
  Hannah: I like a huge birth advocate now and I like doula for friends and family, so I'm sure people get sick of me telling them that, but that would be my advice.
• 54:07
  Angela: Yeah, it's really so important to just take the time to learn all of your options and think about what feels right for you, because it's not gonna it's gonna be different for everybody, you know.
• 54:19
  Angela: Yeah, for sure, awesome.
• 54:21
  Angela: Well, thank you so much, hannah, for taking the time to chat with me today and share your story.
• 54:25
  Angela: Yes, thank you.
• 54:27
  Angela: Before you go, I just want to remind you I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth If you're pregnant, whether you're a first-time mom or if this is your fifth baby.
• 54:39
  Angela: I want you to check out the show notes, because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access my labor of love, a comprehensive, self-paced online childbirth education course.
• 54:53
  Angela: I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who you're birthing with, and I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey.
• 55:12
  Angela: So click to the show notes, check out all of those links and, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at mymainbirth over on Instagram.