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How Not to Screw Up OU/Texas Weekend · The Dry Line Podcast

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[music]
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SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to The Dry Line Podcast,
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SPEAKER_00: where each week we discuss Oklahoma's strangely endearing culture
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SPEAKER_00: and its unbelievable weather,
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SPEAKER_00: sacred sports, nefarious politics, and damn fine people.
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SPEAKER_00: It may not feel like it yet,
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SPEAKER_00: because of the vibes,
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SPEAKER_00: and because of recent history,
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SPEAKER_00: but we have arrived at the unquestioned best time of the year to be an Oklahoman,
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SPEAKER_00: if you're wondering.
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SPEAKER_00: If you're listening to a week-old podcast where I'm alluding
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SPEAKER_00: to Trump's historic trip to Durant, take an XL.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm not.
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SPEAKER_00: I will get to my observations from that weird campaign rally in
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SPEAKER_00: the Oklahoma News Roundup later, but no.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about the single best event in the multiverse, OU Texas Weekend.
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SPEAKER_00: Like I said,
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SPEAKER_00: I may not feel so great right now about our chances this weekend because
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SPEAKER_00: of how poorly Oklahoma's offense is playing because
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SPEAKER_00: of how badly we've gotten our asses kicked here in recent OU Texas history.
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SPEAKER_00: But being in Dallas on the second weekend of October is a glorious,
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SPEAKER_00: enlivening, and ever-surprising spectacle.
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SPEAKER_00: This morning on drylineokc.com,
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SPEAKER_00: I wrote an essay about my development as a person through a series of events
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SPEAKER_00: and rites of passages bestowed upon me by Friday night's At OU Texas.
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SPEAKER_00: It was 2400 words long and it should have been longer and it should have been better.
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SPEAKER_00: But I'm going to Dallas tomorrow morning and I figured the best way
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SPEAKER_00: to celebrate OU Texas was to actually go to OU Texas and stop writing about OU Texas
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SPEAKER_00: and podcasting about it.
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SPEAKER_00: So things are best lived, not consumed on media.
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SPEAKER_00: So this week's podcast is brief and to the point.
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SPEAKER_00: My mission today is to provide you with the unassailable and vital elements of
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SPEAKER_00: a meaningful OU Texas weekend.
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SPEAKER_00: If OU wins,
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SPEAKER_00: which is a very remote possibility,
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SPEAKER_00: barring John Mateer gets Meet Joe Black by the ghost of Jack Mildred,
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SPEAKER_00: the weekend will be awesome.
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SPEAKER_00: If OU loses,
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SPEAKER_00: which is almost a surefire bet at this point,
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SPEAKER_00: can you tell me,
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SPEAKER_00: like, And can you tell I just like want to be made a fool at this point?
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SPEAKER_00: Like, please surprise me, OU.
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SPEAKER_00: Please go win this game.
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SPEAKER_00: Please go kick Texas' ass.
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SPEAKER_00: The weekend, even if we lose, should still be awesome.
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SPEAKER_00: Because some of my best memories of OU Texas' weekend were made after losses.
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SPEAKER_00: Now, my best memories of all time have always been after wins.
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SPEAKER_00: But man, you got to prepare for anything.
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SPEAKER_00: Again, especially with how this offensive looked.
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SPEAKER_00: And going into this weekend, you better stack...
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SPEAKER_00: The deck of meaning and memory making in your favor,
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SPEAKER_00: which is why I'm providing you this very list of elements of how to craft
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SPEAKER_00: a meaningful OU Texas weekend.
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SPEAKER_00: All right.
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SPEAKER_00: So number one, you must do something you would ordinarily never do.
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SPEAKER_00: This is critical.
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SPEAKER_00: All right.
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SPEAKER_00: Treat Dallas like it's New Orleans or Vegas.
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SPEAKER_00: It functions better when you do this.
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SPEAKER_00: For example, you've driven past the Arbuckle fried pies.
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SPEAKER_00: Staying your entire life and you've never stopped.
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SPEAKER_00: Stop.
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SPEAKER_00: Get a fried pie.
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SPEAKER_00: Get crazy.
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SPEAKER_00: Another example, my dad never plays games at the Oklahoma State Fair.
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SPEAKER_00: At the Texas State Fair, he always plays games.
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SPEAKER_00: One year,
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SPEAKER_00: he threw a football,
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SPEAKER_00: a full-size football, threw a star about the diameter of a can of beans.
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SPEAKER_00: He won a five-foot-tall bulldog, stuffed bulldog.
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SPEAKER_00: You could actually see this stuffed animal on the telecast sitting next to my dad
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SPEAKER_00: during the game.
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SPEAKER_00: Again, do something crazy.
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SPEAKER_00: Let there be no rational end to this line of thinking either.
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SPEAKER_00: Like normal laws of consequence,
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SPEAKER_00: like imprisonation, you know, do not apply in Dallas on OU Texas weekend.
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SPEAKER_00: The second vital element to a successful and meaningful OU Texas weekend.
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SPEAKER_00: You must eat Cajun food.
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SPEAKER_00: Why?
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SPEAKER_00: You asked.
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SPEAKER_00: Because for one, Cajun food is God's cuisine of choice.
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SPEAKER_00: And because for two, OU's plays better when we all eat more Cajun food.
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SPEAKER_00: And for three, Dallas's Cajun food is absolutely ridiculous.
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SPEAKER_00: Order oysters, no matter the cost.
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SPEAKER_00: Order anything that has the words etouffee or ponchertrain in the name.
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SPEAKER_00: I don't know if bread pudding is Cajun or not.
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SPEAKER_00: But on OU Texas weekend, it counts.
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SPEAKER_00: Order it too.
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SPEAKER_00: Dallas just goes down a little better in this system if it's accompanied by Cajun food.
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SPEAKER_00: I don't make the rules.
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SPEAKER_00: I just follow the signs of the universe.
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SPEAKER_00: Step number three to a meaningful weekend down in Dallas.
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SPEAKER_00: You must throw the horns down at any unsuspecting burnt orange cloud stranger you see.
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SPEAKER_00: The more offended this stranger gets, the better the memory is for you.
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SPEAKER_00: So make it emphatic.
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SPEAKER_00: Throw the horns down.
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SPEAKER_00: And don't do it with a smile.
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SPEAKER_00: It doesn't count if you go over and shake the guy's hand afterward.
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SPEAKER_00: Don't make small talk.
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SPEAKER_00: These are not people to small talk with.
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SPEAKER_00: These are mortal enemies.
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SPEAKER_00: Out for everything that we hold dear in life.
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SPEAKER_00: Do not stop throwing the horns down.
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SPEAKER_00: At these people until you get someone that says fuck you or go fuck yourself
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SPEAKER_00: or fuck all you white trash pieces of shit from across the border.
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SPEAKER_00: All right.
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SPEAKER_00: When you hear one of those things, you know you've done your job and you can move on.
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SPEAKER_00: Element number four of a meaningful OU Texas weekend.
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SPEAKER_00: You don't have to go to the game,
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SPEAKER_00: nor do you have to go to the fair to have a meaningful OU Texas weekend.
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SPEAKER_00: But you do have to watch the game.
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SPEAKER_00: Somewhere.
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SPEAKER_00: Somehow.
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SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, you're just a tourist down in Dallas.
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SPEAKER_00: And tourists don't help generate the kind of interplanetary support that's going
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SPEAKER_00: to be necessary to win this game this year.
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SPEAKER_00: In years past, okay?
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SPEAKER_00: When we were guaranteed to go down there and just beat Texas' ass
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SPEAKER_00: by like five touchdowns, you could go shopping.
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SPEAKER_00: This year...
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SPEAKER_00: You cannot go shopping during the game.
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SPEAKER_00: Find any one of the thousands of good places to get a drink in DFW,
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SPEAKER_00: get a drink, and watch the game.
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SPEAKER_00: Do not go to the Arboretum during the game.
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SPEAKER_00: Don't let all the rhinestones and jewels of the Metroplex blind you from
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SPEAKER_00: the real stakes of the weekend.
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SPEAKER_00: Dallas is an excellent place to peruse,
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SPEAKER_00: but spending money is not the mission of OU Texas weekend.
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SPEAKER_00: Winning the game and embarrassing Texas is the mission.
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SPEAKER_00: All right, keep your eyes on the prize.
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SPEAKER_00: Lastly,
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SPEAKER_00: you must play Boomer Sooner loudly from your vehicle with your windows down
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SPEAKER_00: and Uber will work.
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SPEAKER_00: For this too, if you have an accommodating Uber driver.
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SPEAKER_00: And you must play this Boomer Sooner loudly in a public place where many people can hear it.
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SPEAKER_00: This should really go without saying.
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SPEAKER_00: I know you don't need a reminder to do this, but I thought it'd be wise to be thorough.
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SPEAKER_00: All right, because you can't miss this one.
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SPEAKER_00: Play Boomer Sooner.
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SPEAKER_00: Do it obnoxiously.
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SPEAKER_00: And again,
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SPEAKER_00: if you get like a fuck you or go fuck yourself or go back across the border,
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SPEAKER_00: you piece of white trash, you've done your job.
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SPEAKER_00: All right.
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SPEAKER_00: For everybody going down there, have a great time.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited.
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SPEAKER_00: This is the first time I've been back down there since 2019,
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SPEAKER_00: taking our four month old son to Doing a little road trip.
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SPEAKER_00: Kind of really giving the taste of DFW on Dallas, Texas weekend.
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SPEAKER_00: Or OU, Texas weekend.
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SPEAKER_00: I really hope we represent our state well.
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SPEAKER_00: Proudly.
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SPEAKER_00: Boldly.
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SPEAKER_00: Shamelessly.
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SPEAKER_00: And unflinchingly.
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SPEAKER_00: Got to set the right example for my son.
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SPEAKER_00: And he needs to know that Texas sucks.
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SPEAKER_00: Alright, let us begin.
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SPEAKER_00: Another fascinating story.
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SPEAKER_00: Oklahoma News Roundup.
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SPEAKER_00: Okay.
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SPEAKER_00: I don't know what that was I just did at the end there with the Roundup.
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SPEAKER_00: It's just the Oklahoma News Roundup.
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SPEAKER_00: I don't know what happened.
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SPEAKER_00: It's been a long day.
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SPEAKER_00: That's what's happened.
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SPEAKER_00: And we've been talking about Stephanie Bice too much.
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SPEAKER_00: So Stephanie has been through the blunder in the past month, folks, as we talked about first.
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SPEAKER_00: A month ago,
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SPEAKER_00: the Democratic National Party began investing in her opponent,
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SPEAKER_00: spending ad dollars for Jenna Nelson,
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SPEAKER_00: Because they felt that the race might actually be a contest.
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SPEAKER_00: As I've said,
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SPEAKER_00: I don't believe this because I've watched what you've been watching
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SPEAKER_00: in Oklahoma politics for the past two decades.
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SPEAKER_00: It's hard to see a congressional district, especially congressional district five going blue.
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SPEAKER_00: It's not impossible because Oklahoma City is moderate and its suburbs are increasingly moderate.
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SPEAKER_00: But it's still just incredibly improbable.
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SPEAKER_00: She's got an over 10 point lead in most polling.
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SPEAKER_00: Last week though,
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SPEAKER_00: we discussed on a hot mic at an event at OSU,
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SPEAKER_00: Vice was caught criticizing the Trump administration.
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SPEAKER_00: Let's review her comments,
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SPEAKER_00: which were basically what normal, non-politically identified people would say.
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SPEAKER_00: Quote, we're not helping ourselves today when we decide to rename Lake Ontario Lake America.
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SPEAKER_00: Quote, what I worry about She
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SPEAKER_00: also expressed fears that people have Trump fatigue
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SPEAKER_00: and won't show up to the polls.
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SPEAKER_00: The reason we're discussing these very reasonable assessments,
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SPEAKER_00: sound assessments,
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SPEAKER_00: of the current state of affairs in U.S.
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SPEAKER_00: politics is because Donald Trump also noticed her comments
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SPEAKER_00: at his appearance last Thursday in Durant,
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SPEAKER_00: Trump offered his full support for a litany of Republican candidates,
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SPEAKER_00: including gubernatorial candidate Mike Mazie
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SPEAKER_00: and Republican Senate candidate Kevin Hearn.
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SPEAKER_00: He also spoke for roughly 80 minutes up at the podium,
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SPEAKER_00: basically saying that we should all be really grateful that this is the golden age
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SPEAKER_00: of America and we should all thank him for it.
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SPEAKER_00: But Hearn and Mazie were up there a lot.
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SPEAKER_00: Hearn and Mazie were on stage.
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SPEAKER_00: They were present.
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SPEAKER_00: And so are some older gentlemen, MAGA clad.
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SPEAKER_00: Guys wearing red,
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SPEAKER_00: had the red hats on,
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SPEAKER_00: that Trump repeatedly referred to as studs and were presumed
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SPEAKER_00: to be some like good old Oklahomans that he forced up on stage with him.
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SPEAKER_00: That whole thing was just like really strange to watch as it usually is
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SPEAKER_00: at these events,
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SPEAKER_00: but conspicuously absent throughout this entire bizarre ordeal was Stephanie Bice,
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SPEAKER_00: someone not mentioned or endorsed a single time during the event.
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SPEAKER_00: Like I said, It's been a tough few weeks for Bice.
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SPEAKER_00: And after all this,
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SPEAKER_00: I wonder if the moderates out there look at what she said and also look
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SPEAKER_00: at Trump being a little kid and withholding his affections from her
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SPEAKER_00: after Bice has been someone who has pretty much backed him on all
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SPEAKER_00: of his major policy choices until those hot mic comments came out a week ago,
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SPEAKER_00: which again, more just like the truth.
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SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I wonder if all these moderates out there In District 5 are gonna look at all
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SPEAKER_00: of this and start to like Bice a little more.
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SPEAKER_00: If the populace,
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SPEAKER_00: especially the independents,
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SPEAKER_00: are ready to move on from Trump and Bice has been effectively excommunicated
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SPEAKER_00: from MAGA, maybe that's actually a good thing for her in District 5.
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SPEAKER_00: I know I like her a lot more than I did a few weeks ago.
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SPEAKER_00: All of her comments, again, are very reasonable things to say.
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SPEAKER_00: But oh wait, maybe too reasonable though.
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SPEAKER_00: So reasonable,
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SPEAKER_00: in fact,
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SPEAKER_00: that she may be in violation of Oklahoma's political catch-22,
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SPEAKER_00: which mandates that reasonable people,
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SPEAKER_00: the best leaders for our state, cannot be elected.
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SPEAKER_00: But unreasonable people, the worst leaders for our state, will always be elected.
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SPEAKER_00: It's a dangerous spot to be for Bice now, being a reasonable person.
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SPEAKER_00: And if you start to think about it like that,
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SPEAKER_00: maybe you start to understand why the Democratic Party is on to something.
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SPEAKER_00: And maybe there is a chance to actually flip District 5.
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SPEAKER_00: On to something a little lighter of heart.
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SPEAKER_00: The Oklahoma City Thunder basketball season, well, the preseason, has begun.
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SPEAKER_00: The first preseason game, practice game, tune-up, exhibition was in Tulsa on Tuesday night.
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SPEAKER_00: Where none of the Thunder's starters played in the game.
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SPEAKER_00: People were upset, to put it mildly.
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SPEAKER_00: It was packed.
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SPEAKER_00: I mean, the energy in the arena was awesome looking on television.
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SPEAKER_00: I mean, like Tulsa showed up.
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SPEAKER_00: So this is the only game of the year that's in Tulsa and the starters didn't play.
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SPEAKER_00: I find that a bummer.
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SPEAKER_00: I think the starters should have played in the game.
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SPEAKER_00: I mean, I would have been pissed too.
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SPEAKER_00: But the Thunder's two first-round draft picks,
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SPEAKER_00: Adai Mara and Bennett Sturtz,
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SPEAKER_00: did play,
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SPEAKER_00: and they played well,
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SPEAKER_00: against the Pelicans' starters,
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SPEAKER_00: both of them scoring in double digits
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SPEAKER_00: and looking like effective NBA rotational players, which is awesome.
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SPEAKER_00: Given the Thunder parted ways with mainstays Lou Dort,
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SPEAKER_00: Isaiah Joe,
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SPEAKER_00: and Aaron Wiggins over the summer, Jared McCain, It was also silky smooth.
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SPEAKER_00: Coming around screens, hitting pull up threes, just looked incredibly comfortable and confident.
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SPEAKER_00: Presti mentioned McCain unprompted over and over in his preseason presser like 10 days ago.
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SPEAKER_00: So eyes on McCain to keep it coming more and more impactful.
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SPEAKER_00: We got 12 days until we play San Antonio, y'all, in the first game of the season.
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SPEAKER_00: And who wants to drive down there?
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SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's only seven hours.
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SPEAKER_00: We got 10 days to plan it.
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SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
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SPEAKER_00: I'd be up for that conversation.
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SPEAKER_00: Next bit of news.
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SPEAKER_00: Penn Square Mall is getting a facelift.
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SPEAKER_00: A $15 million facelift.
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SPEAKER_00: Owner, Simon Property Group,
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SPEAKER_00: is investing in new entryways in various modernations all across the property.
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SPEAKER_00: New stores are coming, new retailers, including a new anchor store.
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SPEAKER_00: Barnes & Noble.
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SPEAKER_00: I was pretty shocked by this for a couple reasons.
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SPEAKER_00: Mainly the fact that we already have a Barnes & Noble that's like two miles away
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SPEAKER_00: over on North May.
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SPEAKER_00: But I'm kind of torn out by this too.
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SPEAKER_00: Because I do want to see Penn Square stay relevant and avoid becoming
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SPEAKER_00: an abandoned retail monstrosity in the center of the city.
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SPEAKER_00: Because these investments will undoubtedly help.
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SPEAKER_00: And they're overdue.
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SPEAKER_00: I mean, the Penn Square Mall of my childhood is like long cold in its grave.
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SPEAKER_00: Alright.
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SPEAKER_00: But I immediately thought of Full Circle Books.
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SPEAKER_00: Right across the street from Penn Square Mall.
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SPEAKER_00: The charming local mainstay of the 50 pin plaza on the bottom floor owned
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SPEAKER_00: by local legend Jim Tolbert, civic legend.
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SPEAKER_00: Fun fact, Jim was one of the leads responsible for basically making the myriad gardens happen.
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SPEAKER_00: I love that store,
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SPEAKER_00: studied there all throughout medical school and have bought numerous books
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SPEAKER_00: and gifts there.
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SPEAKER_00: It's gotten a little dusty recently, but the mystique of the place is intact.
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SPEAKER_00: The smell is wonderful in there.
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SPEAKER_00: It's the best place, I think, to waste a winter day in the city.
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SPEAKER_00: Fireplaces get lit every day of the year, I think.
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SPEAKER_00: It's just an awesome place.
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SPEAKER_00: And obviously,
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SPEAKER_00: this will hurt them,
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SPEAKER_00: and just by talking to their staff over the years,
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SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure how resilient the business will be to a big hit.
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SPEAKER_00: Support Full Circle Books.
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SPEAKER_00: It's going to be multiple years before Barnes & Noble comes around,
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SPEAKER_00: but just another reminder to go to Full Circle.
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SPEAKER_00: That place is amazing.
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SPEAKER_00: Also, I haven't seen any reporting yet on what's going to happen to
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SPEAKER_00: that current Barnes & Noble up off North May,
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SPEAKER_00: South and Northwest 33rd,
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SPEAKER_00: because if that leaves, that's going to leave a huge hole over there.
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SPEAKER_00: But TBD.
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SPEAKER_00: TBD.
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SPEAKER_00: All right.
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SPEAKER_00: That's a wrap.
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SPEAKER_00: For another week of The Dry Line Podcast.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: If you're enjoying these shows, please subscribe wherever you're listening.
17:21
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17:24
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17:25
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17:32
SPEAKER_00: If you're enjoying these conversations about Oklahoma's culture
17:36
SPEAKER_00: and you have some ideas about stuff you'd want us to talk more about,
17:39
SPEAKER_00: send me an email at drylineokc at gmail.com and I'll respond to that as quick
17:45
SPEAKER_00: as I can.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: Until the next time, you'll know where to find us.
17:51
SPEAKER_00: In Dallas.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: And then at the powerhouse.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plains.
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SPEAKER_00: Oh God.