Latest / 8 Years To Live / Why We Communicate So Differently | The Color Code
Transcript
- Collen: Every person has a story. Some shape us, some break us, and some help us heal. Join Sisters Kim and Bibi as they explore mental health, trauma, relationships, and personal growth through honest conversations, lived experiences, and professional insights. Because understanding your story can change the way you live it. This is Eight Years to Live. I have gone into a coma. I would just say Mario Shriver. Yes. Yes. Why do we have so many nicknames for each other? It's a good question. Because medical trauma is one of the most under recognized forms of trauma. Who are you gonna talk to when I die? He's already telling you you've got eight years slip. ChoCho, is that you? Is it really really you? Kim, it's really really me. It's been two days since my last confession. I mean one day since my last confession since I last saw you. And it's been ten years since my last drink. Ooh hot dog. October twenty ⁓ wait. October Yes, twenty sixteen. Wow. I just thought we would have confession time. I think it's been twelve years since mine. Twelve. I think or thirteen. More than a decade. Yep. Well, sh we're just we're going raw and organic. We have absolutely no script. But so this feels like we're just letting people in to our personal conversations. As per the usual. Which is exactly what we wanted to do in the first place. Exactly. Exactly. So what we were thinking we could talk about is the color code. We've mentioned it a couple times in our ⁓ previous recordings. So I'm excited. What do you have in store? Me too. Okay, so the color code. There are I have my phone. So if you see me looking down, it's because I don't have this ⁓ memorized. Kinda like the Enneogram, but a little bit more simplified. So if you don't know the Enneogram or the color code, they're personality tests, which kinda they can help you. It's a tool, I would say, to understand people, ⁓ kind of to see how people speak. It's kinda like a language, if you will. Is how I view it. So we have four different colors. We have reds, blues, whites, and yellows. So each color is also equivalent, I would say, to like sanguine is that how you say it? Sanguine, sanguine. I think it's sanguine. ⁓ melancholic, phlegmatic and choleric. So if you don't know one, maybe you know the other. They all kind of go hand in hand. So I thought we could interview you, Kim. And find out what color you are. I love it. I think it's ⁓ a good point that you just made that it's not like this is just a language that we speak. So it just helps us to better understand ourselves and it can help better understand others so that we can understand, ⁓ gosh, why are they ⁓ so let's say harsh in their tone or why are they so direct or it's all about fun with this person, or somebody's like super laid back or more emotional, it helps us to better understand. when that's coming up for either ourselves or for others. So that was a good way to say that. The it's language. ⁓ good. Good. I also think it's important to note that it's not ⁓ boxing people in. So it doesn't mean you have to fit into one category. If you're red, you can't have any of the other colors. I know that we're all individually made. I know that God created us uniquely. So we shouldn't put people in boxes. This is just a helpful tool, in my opinion, that can ⁓ help us better understand each other or even help us to communicate with somebody more specific to them. Yeah. I love that. So without saying because we both already know what your color is. We both know what my colorslash colors are. ⁓ can you describe Your main personality traits. My main personality traits would be I am a direct person. ⁓ and I'm direct because I want to get to the end goal. So I've always been goal oriented. no matter what it is, it's in my mind there's always a goal to go after. And so I need to get to that goal. So from getting from A to B is really important. And so in the past, before I knew that that was important, I would just get really frustrated if somebody would get in my way of getting to the goal. And the goal can be something good, it can be something bad. So if I needed to help you, let's say, with something, and someone called me or interrupted me, I would get irritated because the goal was driving me so much. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm hmm. Yep. So to add to that, I think we should say that we're all obviously works in progress. There's always room to grow. And then we always see growth in, you know, our hopefully throughout our lives. So I would say that sounds like there was still some maybe unhealth as far as like your giftings go because obviously we're all uniquely gifted. And I think specifically two different colors, ⁓ there are maybe more evident gifts that each of us have. And I would we're all obviously flawed, but I would say being direct is a gift. But if you're not quite maybe like everything's you're tuned into it, you might use it for selfish reasons or you might use it To put somebody down, which I guess would still be selfish. ⁓ so there's a lot that goes into being a cu in a color. I just say that because I don't like to be put into a box. If somebody tells me you're a white, I'll say, watch me be black. That's not on the color code, well, it is now. So I just like to preface things. Exactly. Do not tell me what I am and what I am not. Okay, so now tell me. ⁓ Yes. Sorry. So ⁓ I think you're talking about limitations and strengths. And so when you're in unhealth, in whatever color, it doesn't matter, the limitations show up more. And so let's say for me, getting from point A to B, that makes me a good leader. So that would be my strength. But when it's a limitation, I'm trying to get to the finish line by myself as opposed to helping others get to the finish line as a good leader. So I think that's a kind of a good example. Yes, yes it is. And I would say unhealth and health, we're not talking about physical health. We're talking about more ⁓ being mentally healthy or just healthy in our communication skills. so that's a clarification 'cause if I heard somebody say in health or unhealth, what does that have to do with anything? So maybe other people will get it. I just don't always understand things like that. Okay, so with that, are there things that personality traits that you see in others that you would say I do not identify with that? Like I don't really understand that, or you didn't understand it, or you just don't communicate that way. Yes, I think one of the styles of communication that I don't understand would be and I think it this is layered, but something that I recently spoke to my therapist about. is connection with humans. And yet I'm a therapist. ⁓ so in unhealth the connection for me was not as important. Now that I'm healthier, connection is extremely important and I recognize how important it is. And so when I was in unhealth, somebody would want to they would share so openly their emotions and how they wanted to connect. And I would be thinking, I'm here to just you know, cut the cake at a birthday party. So stop sharing your feelings because we need to get to the cake, which makes no sense for a therapist to think that. And I think it's amazing how we can grow from not this think from thinking, I don't need connection. I don't want connection. This is not important to recognizing connection is the driving force to living. Mm. Mm. That's good. So true. So true. Okay, so should I just read off what the colors are? Yeah, and something that just came to me about that specific color that I'm talking about with the connection is the their driving force is intimacy. And the way that the creator of the color code explains it is in to me you see. So intimacy is very important for that specific color. So I just wanted to throw that in. Mm-hmm. That's a good thing to recognize. I would say that each each color has a driving force. Each color has ⁓ specific traits, whether I don't know how to verbalize it. ⁓ just specific traits. So to give I would say, okay, maybe ask me now. And we'll just kind of go back and forth. Ooh, that's good. Okay. So what is one thing that you thought because you also know your color, but you have one color that's a little hidden, and that color comes out every so often, which is the polar opposite of your main color. Mm-hmm. So can you speak about the color that was hidden that was kind of surprising for you and maybe for those around you? Hmm. I think I know what you're talking about. Hopefully we're the same page. So I would say I have two colors that are pretty even. So I go back and forth from these two. I'm typically either feeling I'm pretty joyful, I would say. I see the fun in things, or I just want peace. I don't typically want anything else. Let's have fun, let's keep the peace. I don't want anything else. Let's just ignore it, sleep it under the rug. So I think the hidden color that you're talking about. actually is very evident once you know what my Enneagram number is. So I have I have a very like this emotion that's there, but I don't often let it come out or I don't know that it's even there. I think when I started to discover that I had it, so the emotion is anger. The emotion that is kind of hidden, kind of at the wayside, but does come up. I have I would say at this point, I'd probably call it righteous anger. But I thought any anger of any sort was bad, was wrong, don't be angry. Because that's not being a good so many different things. Good Christian, good girl, good wife, good sister, good daughter. It was just you're bad if you're angry. And so now I would say that it doesn't it's not anger. I think like I'm not quick to anger, but I definitely am okay with my anger now. So if something makes me angry, I think, ⁓ wow, this is anger. Why am I angry? And now I'll let myself sit in that anger. I won't I try not to react in that anger. That doesn't always happen. But now I can realize and acknowledge that anger is good. It's healthy. And we're given all of our emotions for a specific reason. ⁓ so my other two emotions would be I would say joy that are stronger or that I tend to have easier access to maybe. Joy and peace. And then there's anger. And then the last one I don't know. I was gonna say the last one is like the emotional part. Which maybe I still I don't see it that much in me. I think I have. I'm emotional. I'm more open to being emotional and talking about it. ⁓ so I don't know. Did that answer your question? Yeah. ⁓ it answered part of my question because the other part was this ⁓ anger. So people mainly know you as this fun, fun loving, peaceful person that's always seeking peace. Let's, you know, not rock the boat. But then this little part of you or this smaller part of you. comes up. Has that surprised people when they see that come out of you? ⁓ I don't know that a lot of people have seen it, honestly. I think I more just accept the emotion and kind of go let it go through my body. Sometimes I think I'll probably talk to you about it or Ruben, my husband. ⁓ but I don't think a lot of people would say like, ⁓ I've I've seen her angry. Mm Probably just you and our sisters, like in recent hospital stays for our mom, where I have gone angry and I have but I don't think someone would say, Wow, she was angry. I was just able to verbalize like this is wrong, I don't like this, here's why and just at least explain how I feel. Yeah. You're not raging, you're not breaking things, you're not screaming and yelling, calling people bad names. Yeah. I think it's ⁓ it was funny when like usually you're very calm and and you know everything's a joke or not everything but you can joke and then one day we were talking about something and you were being your funny casual self and next thing you know you stopped and you looked at me and you said understood And I thought, and I'm like, what? And you're like, understood. I'm like, okay. And it was so funny because that's so out of character in general for you. And so now. That's hilarious. I didn't don't even remember being serious or what it was about, but I'm sure I was like, understood. Gosh. Yeah, that doesn't happen often. But I also know myself, like I will reach a limit. And don't pass don't cross that limit. I think I I'm very tolerant, very, very tolerant. And then then as soon as it starts to build and I think, okay, that's it. That's it. Like now I feel taken advantage of or now this just needs to end and I'm done. So yep. The angle Which adds Yes, which adds to you sometimes digging your heels in just to dig your heels in, which is also very typical of that specific colour. Mm-hmm. ⁓ totally. That yes, I will I tend to dig my heels in. Even as I'm explaining the color code, don't tell me what color I am. You tell me I'm this color? Think again. Like I'm about to blow your mind. I will you I will turn up this other color and you will have no idea that I even like peace. So there's that. Okay, moving forward. So Okay. We know I think in our family I would say it's safe to say that we have all of the colors. We have a whole rainbow. Yeah. We have people that are reds, blues, whites, yellows. So if you haven't caught on with ⁓ what color Kim slash Mao is, some of you know I call her Mao. So if you hear Mao, same person. She is And it's not my other personality. I was just gonna say that, but I thought, well, I don't know if that's a good an okay thing to say on this. I was trying to be sensitive. so okay, let me just read the descriptions. They're very short and we can kind of dig them or dig into them. So Reds need to look good technically, be right, and be respected. They're strong leaders and love challenges. So if any of that resonates with you, you're probably a red. That's not my number one. I don't need to look good technically. I can act a fool all day long. I don't necessarily need to be right. I can dig my heels in. But right or wrong, you may not show your mind. Right or wrong. Yes. ⁓ being respected, sure. I do think that's important to me. I don't think I'm a typical strong leader, not in the maybe ⁓ typical way, like I don't know how to say that. Like in maybe what people expect. I'm not a boss. I don't necessarily like telling people what to do. Okay, then we have blues. So blues need to have integrity and be appreciated. They are focused on quality and creating strong relationships. I don't necessarily need to have integrity. I do try to have integrity, but that's not really at the forefront of my mind. It's not a driving force for you. No. Mm mm. Be appreciated. I would say I do like to be appreciated. so there's that. They're focused on quality and creating stock strong relationships. That's new to me. I've learned to focus on quality. I've learned to create strong relationships, but not my driving force in my nature. Same. Whites need to be accepted and treated with kindness. I need to be accepted and treated with kindness. I love when people are gentle with me. I like when people speak to me in a soft, tender way. ⁓ if somebody does approach me that way, more than likely I won't dig my heels in. So there's a little tidbit. They are lobbed Logical, I would say I'm I would say I'm pretty dang logical. What do you think? I was gonna say you're pretty illogical. Just kidding. Okay. Turns out I don't have any color in the ad. I'm just kidding. Okay, moving forward. objective, yes. I would say I can typically rely on that for myself. I can see I think I'm objective. And tolerant of others. I just said I'm very tolerant in general. Very patient. ⁓ yeah, I would say so. Yellows need to be noticed and have fun. You and I definitely like to have fun. I agree. I don't know. Do you feel the need to be noticed? No, but that's interesting because I know that when I was a kid I ⁓ would turn the attention on me to divert attention from anybody else, not because I needed to be noticed, but because in my child mind it was to make sure that nobody got in trouble. This is how I was gonna keep the family safe by ⁓ look at me, dance, monkey dance. So that was my so I can see how that yellow played into it. That's interesting. That is interesting. I also tend to be the monkey. I tend to dance, monkey dance. I've never really known if I I don't know if I need to be noticed, but maybe because I am noticed, like in our family system, I think I've always been the one that's the most noticed because of my medical history, because I'm the youngest, all the things I just don't feel because I'm Jojo. Maybe I my tank is full on that, so I don't feel the need. I don't know. ⁓ they love life. Yes. Social connections. Yes. And being positive and spontaneous. Yes. Yes. And that's interesting because ⁓ yes, yes. The social connection one I think is interesting because I love social connection. I love ⁓ meeting other therapists outside the therapy room, ⁓ getting to know them. I love that part of my job. And that But then the connection, the deeper connection, like with the blue, so I don't go into that part. I just like, ⁓ I want to know you, let's have fun, get coffee, we'll talk later. So yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. So those are the summaries. So I'm sure people can relate. Maybe maybe you think, ⁓ I'm I am a boss or I am a leader. And also I'm very emotional or I love connection. Emotional I would say also blues and yellows would probably tend to be the most emotional, right? Yes. Mm-hmm. Yep. So there can be some overlay or overlap or maybe even some confusion like, ⁓ yes, I do have a lot of integrity, but I don't need to be noticed. Maybe you're more blue than yellow. So there's a few different things. And obviously I think we can all relate to something on all of them. But I also think that we have a stronger I don't know, draw to one of them. I think something that you mentioned about the reds, ⁓ that they need to be right or something like that, that kind of goes hand in hand with the one, I think maybe it was the third episode that we recorded where I realized I have this driving need to be right or to look right or to look like the professional in the room and I wanna make sure that I know my stuff. And so I'm I think that was playing into it. And I think the healthy part of me was like, sure, yeah, I do have knowledge, of course. And I'm also human and my prefrontal cortex struggles because I've got ADHD. So if I forget something, I'm human. And so I think that was a good correction where a red if an in a red in unhealth could have been ⁓ we're gonna stick to this and I need to get it right and I need to be on top of my game instead of just confessing it speaking of confessions ⁓ you know saying I I'm not gonna get it right so let's just move forward with that. Mm-hmm. That's so true. I remember that and I do think that that because I didn't think that. Right. But I also know that I'm not like the I'm not the therapist. Right. So I don't have to know things. I can just pull out my phone and tell people don't know exactly what I'm talking about, so let me pull this up. That makes sense. I do think that plays into it looking a certain part and I think to add a layer, our childhood. Everyone's childhood plays a part. Like we need to look a certain way. Whether that's where the rich family, where the fun family Or the I don't know, proper family, different things looking perfect. So I'm sure in your family, in anyone's family, in any relationships, there can be colors, personalities that clash, that have very different communication styles. I would say well, we were just on the phone with Two loved ones who are both red. Very red. I would say very, very red. So in any color, I would say if it's the same color, there can be that. Because I think if there were two of me, would we get anything accomplished? Probably not. Or somebody's in health and maybe they know that they struggle with that and they've learned to kind of w work around it. That's true. That is true. Yes. Yes, me and unhealth. That's a good point. Because I think currently I probably would be able to communicate and get things accomplished. And also because I do let that little red part in me come out more. Which is the anger, the choleric, all the things. So all that to say, if you're an unhealth, there may be more struggles than needed. Which I think that's why it's important to understand why people communicate the way they communicate and trying to understand what they're trying to communicate. Yes. So maybe before you and I we've always kind of communicated similarly as far as the yellow in us. If you talk fun, if you talk vacation, if you talk ⁓ travel. Let's be spontaneous. Travel, yes, yes, yes, yes. Do you want to do this? There's never a no. I always want to do all the things and you do as well. But I would say because I am more white and you're more red, that can be an area that was a big area of growth I would say for us. ⁓ but also I think because I'm the youngest and you're the oldest, that also played into it. You easily could tell me what to do and I would easily say, sure. Yep, tell me what to do. Yep, I'll do it. Unless I'm digging my heels in, in which case, rewind everything I just said. I'm not doing anything you just told me to. So And I ⁓ but I think where we have Go ahead. Where we have both grown, we can't we do communicate well now. I think your approach is more gentle with me and my approach is more direct with you now. Because we know each other's language. I was just gonna say that, yes. I think We've helped each other grow in places where we normally wouldn't. So I think you've brought out the white in me. Okay. Peace. We can calm down. And I've brought out the red in you. Be direct. And I think that was, like you said, a growing area where if I was direct, you learn to say, and I think because I told you tell me if I'm being harsh, like I don't mean to be, it just comes out harsh. And so you'd ⁓ that's a little harsh or could you possibly have said it a different way and I learned okay, if I'm trying to grow, I need to hear what she's saying and so then I would stop and like, Okay, that was harsh. Gosh, I thought that was r being gentle and I learned my gentle is other people's harsh and my harsh is harsh. So you it was like I put the gas on and you put the brakes on and we learned You know, a little bit at a time. And it's helped me to be way more gentle in the therapy room and for you, I think it's helped you to be more direct maybe even in your marriage. ⁓ for sure. Yes. I would say it's helped me be direct in most of my relationships where I know I can be confrontational, I can say no, and I'm still me, so I'm still gonna approach it in my natural state. May which might not be like a red would approach it. I would say, Yes. No, that's not okay with me. And I might sometimes give reasons. Sometimes it's not necessary. But yeah, I I think that's totally true. Mm-hmm. And like you said, confrontational. What confrontation looks like to you, to me is like you're beating around the bush. I don't even know what you're saying. How is this confrontational? I need you to confront me and you're like, I am confronting you. So I think learning that and me stopping or even me telling you, I struggle with this. Can you help me? And if I'm being harsh, will you tell me? And I think that opened the door for you to practice that. Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes. I agree. I agree. And also with neurofeedback, which I know we talk about all the time. I think that has helped me also communicate directly. Because now if I hear somebody beating around the bush, like I don't know what you're saying. Yes or no. In or out. Like I need specifics where before I couldn't even wrap my mind around a lot of a conversation because it was just confrontational. Yeah. There was no solution because I just feel attacked or I feel like I'm attacking or I feel like I'm just like, Ugh, I don't want to say it but I need to So I'm just gonna sh like shake and talk and I'm sure people are like, What is your problem? And I just wanted to say, Can you please close the window? And instead of saying, Can you please close the window, I would just panic. Yeah. And that th also from our childhood and not being heard while in the hospital, not being heard, all the things have played into if you speak you won't be heard. Okay, well now I'm scared because I need to speak because some situations are dangerous and if you speak and you're not heard, you're in trouble. Yes. Yeah, and it's interesting because it you lived in hypo arousal, which I'm thinking most whites would live in hypo arousal in unhealth, and maybe reds we would live in hyper arousal because the fiery part of us is easier to access. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. ⁓ that's true. Very, very true. Something to think about. Yes, it is. Okay, so I'm looking at strengths and limitations as you were talking about earlier. So I will go ahead and start with reds. Do you know what your strengths are? since you know about the color code. So I wanna preface ⁓ strengths and limitations for reds. Typically Reds see limitations as not limitations. And when I read the list of limitations, I'm like, how's that a limitation? That's not even a limitation. So that is a a red thing. ⁓ another red thing is we think we can do it all because we like challenges. So if someone says, Hey, can you record a podcast using this app? Yep. Can I? I'm gonna figure it out. And so what happened today? Click, click, click, challenge accepted, and here we are. So yes. Yeah, that's I think the leadership also. It's like somebody tells me, Can you do this? Yeah, can I? I've never done it, but I'm gonna sure figure it out. Yep. And I think the yellow in you maybe was you procrastinated it until As we're starting to record today. Yeah. So the leader's like, Yes, of course I can do it. Maybe if you had more red you would have like, I can do it, I'll do it now. Boom, boom, boom. But the yellow's like, I'll do it later. I'll figure it out. And you did. I'm having too much fun right now. We'll figure that out later. Yes. And me, I'm also in the group thread of all you'll have to do is this, this and that. I didn't even consider what needs to be done. When you said, ⁓ I need to download the app, cool. Download it. I don't see I do I have any part in it? I don't know. I'm a white, I'm just over here hanging out. Yeah. Letting people tell me what to do. Until ⁓ you need to do this. Okay. And then the yellow, imagine white and yellow. I think it's fun, obviously. I'm yellow. ⁓ Yeah. Nothing but dilly dallying. Yes. I think it's fun too, but yeah, people on the other end don't always think it's fun. So like yeah. Okay, so like yeah. So you were gonna talk about your strengths and limitations. Strengths. ⁓ good leader, which we've already said. ⁓ limitations too harsh, too blunt, ⁓ limitations. If we're in unhealth, if someone says you need to do this, we'll trample all over whoever in order to get that accomplished. ⁓ strength is getting things accomplished. ⁓ what else for a red direct? I think we've said that, which can also look like bluntness. I don't know what else I can think of it right now. These are funny. So I'll read the limitations first because as I was reading ⁓ maybe I have a little red or that little red wants to come out. One of the limitations is calculating. Which in my mind I'm like, things need to be calculated. And it can be calculated without malice. Yes. But I think this is probably speaking Like you were saying, when you're feeling selfish. If you're calculating it's like to what end? What are you gonna gain from this? Another limitation is it's like you just add something like in unhealth a red gets from A to B and it's just themselves. I'm gonna get to the finish line. And so that's the calculating part that can be negative. Where I feel that how we were raised, my red I needed to get everybody across the finish line, which has played into my life story. And so then the calculating part is how how am I going to figure this out to get everyone across the finish line? Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So that can be a very positive thing. Yeah. If you're taking everyone with you to the finish line. If you're pushing everyone down in order for you to get to the finish line, that's where I would say it's problematic. Relentless. Which I but I think that oftentimes that can be a good thing depending well, I guess relentless can mean if somebody says no and you persist, okay, they've said no. Yeah. So again, ⁓ to me I saw that as like relentless. Absolutely I'm relentless. I will get everyone from A to B. There is no stopping. And again that turns into I'm gonna trample trample all over everybody. I cannot Not good. So relentless yes, and like pursue but slowerals. Mm-hmm. And maybe persistent instead of relentless. I don't know. Both are my middle name. And at the same time, like God is relentless. Yes. Yes. So boom roasted. Boom roasted. Situational. Yes. Because I can I just I did that recently where I was relentless. ⁓ so I sell jewelry now. I say now because I just decided to start a new business because I have yellow in me and I want to do all the fun things and it sounds fun to start selling jewelry that I've decided to handmake and learn everything about this resin jewelry business. So I was relentless with somebody that said No thank you. I wanted to be. I wanted to be. I thought, ⁓ I'll just go back and ask again. Like, hey, can I Well I don't want to expose too much information, but it's not necessarily bad, but I live in a very small town. So I just kept wanting to persist and my dear friend said, ⁓ she said no. Are you still gonna keep asking? I thought, well yeah, why wouldn't I? She'll eventually change her mind or she'll like my new stuff or yeah, of course. She's like, Well she said no. I'm like, ⁓ my gosh, you're right. No? I can drop it and I can move on. Yeah. So that I I get that. Yeah. You know when to stop. Yes. Sometimes I don't, but I'm glad I have people to tell me. And I think had I thought about it more I would have maybe come to that conclusion. My instinct was like I think I can try again. That's my Maybe I should wait till she asks to ⁓ try again. ⁓ I'm rolling my eyes at myself over here. Demanding. Mm-mm goes along with ⁓ relentless. I knew that about me and I didn't know how to stop. And I remember ⁓ meeting with my CPA who is amazing years ago and I told him, I'm pretty demanding. And he's like, ⁓ no, I can handle it. And then a couple years go in and I told him, remember when I told you that I was demanding? He's like, I had no idea. ⁓ my gosh. Again, we get things done. But at what cost? And what is the driving force? What is the ultimate end game? Yes, you're like, I warned you, buddy. Exactly. impatient. Working on that. I think I'm way more patient, but yes, I was very impatient. It's like, get to your point. Speed it up. And now I'm learning forward. Slower is better sometimes, sometimes. Mm-hmm. That's true. Yes. Yes. So those are limitations. The strengths we have pragmatic and productive. I love that. I'll talk about strengths in a blue, which are sincere, loyal, thoughtful, respectful. Beautiful. Mm-hmm. Blues limitations are guilt prone and a perfectionist. Yikes. I think everyone has probably struggled with both of those, guilt prone and perfectionist, but blues apparently more than others. We have strengths of a yellow, creative thinker, and flexible. Our limitations, I say our because I am in this category a hundred percent. Disorganized, ⁓ mother of pearl, forgetful, undisciplined, unfocused, afraid to face the facts. So I would say if you resonate with the limitations, that's when you know that's your color. Mm-hmm. ⁓ the strengths of a white, which I'm also in that category. Centered, self-regulated, objective, nondiscriminate, inventive. Even tempered, balanced. And what's funny is whites have the most strengths. ⁓ What can I say? That's funny because on the original list from the creator, I don't know which list you're pulling from, but on the list that I have from like a training, they're ex the exact number. And the reason I know that is because Josie, who we had on the podcast, said It's the same number of people I've counted because I'm blue, so she struggles with perfectionism. ⁓ my gosh. That's funny. ⁓ so yeah, maybe and the funny thing is I'm reading these backwards. So it starts with whites, ends with reds. I started with reds, I'm ending with white. our limitations are silently stubborn, disinterested, ambivalent. Da da da dang. Do you recognize that in yourself? ⁓ 100%. Yes. The limitations on both white and yellow. That's why I think I might have a little more yellow than white, because the yellow limitations disorganized. ⁓ I don't even want to show you what's around me. This looks beautiful. Organized. I look to my left. I look to my right. Bombs have gone off. ⁓ yeah. All those limitations. I definitely yellow. Definitely. Anyway. I love it. I love that we did this today. Me too. It was fun. Yeah, fun exactly. And it was nice to kind of recap, okay, where do I need to grow? ⁓ how can I better understand somebody? So my husband is white and reading the limitations, I think, yeah, I I can see that. And then the strengths, yes. I can see that. And so just learning from that and learning to like recognize that in him when either one is showing up. In me, the red is like, first of all, don't tell me what to do. I don't know if that's the white or the red. But I can appreciate him more and I can learn to speak to him more, knowing that if I approach him in a gentle and kind way, surprise, surprise, he will be more than likely to do what I say. Mm-hmm. Not what you ask, what you say, what you tell him to do. Exactly, because I'm red. Mm-hmm. Mm hmm. And my husband, let's see, I would say he's probably blue white or b with some red. Like he has a decent amount of red where he can be a leader. But definitely more of the emotional one out of the two of us, which is freaking adorable. And I've learned to appreciate that. Where before I didn't understand, I thought, I don't know what the big deal is, and now I think, ⁓ well, it's a big deal. And the connection. I want to connect because I know that's his desire. And white, we can just easy peasy, go along. You wanna go here? Sure. You wanna go there? Sure. We're both usually up for anything, down for anything. And it's Too easy. I love it. I love that you guys are growing from each other and that you're recognizing his connection is helping you connect, or maybe connection wasn't as important. And so that's awesome. Well, thanks for leading the way today, going against the white. Look at you. I sure did. Tapped into that, right? You're welcome. Yeah, that was I did like it. I enjoyed it and I'm sure people resonate with a lot of it. And if they have questions, I'm sure they can reach out. Yes. Yeah, comment if you are looking for the color code. Hopefully we can figure out how to link it at the bottom or somewhere. And if not, it's colorcode.com. There's YouTube videos, there's the ⁓ quiz that you can take, and it's super helpful if you, your partner. People around you take it. That way you can better understand each other and yourself. So like Bibi said, if this resonated with you, comment, reach out. We would love to connect with you.