Latest / The Radio From Hell Show - Best Of / Strange and Unusual Toothpaste Gift From August 14th, 2025
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: This package was sitting on my desk earlier this week.
- 0:04Speaker 1: It says to carry Bill and China, and I was
- 0:08Speaker 1: sent by I don't know where.
- 0:10Speaker 2: It says.
- 0:12Speaker 1: I don't know where it came from, but so I
- 0:13Speaker 1: opened it up. I figure, well, we'll see what's in here.
- 0:16Speaker 1: And it has a present for us and a letter.
- 0:20Speaker 1: The letter is from the National Dental dis distribu National
- 0:24Speaker 1: Dental Disturbance Council Dental Disturbance, a proud division of the
- 0:28Speaker 1: US Department of Questionable Choices official station the abandoned house
- 0:32Speaker 1: next to the Dog Food Plant in Augden, Utah. To
- 0:35Speaker 1: the honorable hosts of Radio from Hell concerning Flavor to
- 0:39Speaker 1: Toothpaste deployment Phase one, Flavor Shock and Awe. Dear lords
- 0:43Speaker 1: of the morning Radio, we hope this communicate finds you floss, caffeinated,
- 0:46Speaker 1: and emotionally prepared for what lies within the enclosed parcel.
- 0:50Speaker 1: As part of a new entirely unauthorized outreach program by
- 0:54Speaker 1: the National Dental Disturbance Council, we're distributing experimental oral flavor
- 1:00Speaker 1: technology to trusted media professionals. Following my recent successful investigation
- 1:04Speaker 1: into the karture Mall Polar Bear relocation mystery, which brought
- 1:08Speaker 1: truth closure and a strong smell of bass pro shops
- 1:11Speaker 1: to the people. I was given temporary authority by myself
- 1:15Speaker 1: to expand operations to the field of weaponized toothpaste sampling.
- 1:19Speaker 1: Please find enclosed the following department sanctioned flavor profiles for
- 1:23Speaker 1: live on air testing. See the first one I'm gonna
- 1:27Speaker 1: do is Lucky Charms Flavor.
- 1:30Speaker 3: Lucky Charms Flavored toothpaste.
- 1:32Speaker 1: A special edition for Carrie Jackson. It is magically artificial
- 1:36Speaker 1: and clinically confusing.
- 1:39Speaker 4: So these are real too.
- 1:41Speaker 1: Yes, Cola flavor because nothing says healthy gums like a
- 1:45Speaker 1: two liters of coke and paste form Vanilla the perfect
- 1:50Speaker 1: flavor for when you want your mouth to feel like
- 1:52Speaker 1: it's stuck on a Yankee candle, Wonka Chocolate, one hundred
- 1:56Speaker 1: percent Coca flavor, zero percent actual cleaning power, red Velt
- 2:00Speaker 1: it for brushing with vibes not results. These products are
- 2:03Speaker 1: part of our ongoing study titled Can They Taste This?
- 2:07Speaker 1: Without Regretting Every decision that led here. As always, I
- 2:11Speaker 1: remain dedicated to the important work of investigating absurdity, whether
- 2:14Speaker 1: it's tracking down an emotionally complex polar bear or mailing
- 2:18Speaker 1: unsolicited novelty toothpaste. I am here to serve God bless
- 2:22Speaker 1: morning radio and God help your taste buds. In satirical
- 2:25Speaker 1: service Sketchy Blake of Ogden Field Agent N D D
- 2:30Speaker 1: C CARTU Mall Bear Recovery or Unit Lead Investigator toothpaste
- 2:33Speaker 1: failed deployment officer, unranked Like does it have?
- 2:37Speaker 2: Like? Which one do you want to? It?
- 2:41Speaker 4: Says do not swallow?
- 2:43Speaker 3: Well, that says it on regular toothpaste says.
- 2:45Speaker 1: That it's a sodium fluoride anti cavity toothpaste. Gina, I'll
- 2:52Speaker 1: give you your choice. You should do cola sure or Wonka,
- 2:55Speaker 1: whichever one the colon. Wait a minute, he's miss what.
- 3:01Speaker 1: There isn't a colon one in here? Oh there's a Wonka.
- 3:04Speaker 1: There's his smile and a her smile and chupa choops.
- 3:08Speaker 5: Let's see the picture of the product again. Yeah, he
- 3:10Speaker 5: didn't send a colon unless.
- 3:13Speaker 3: X ninety six dot com slash lab.
- 3:15Speaker 1: There's Lucky. Now that's his smile and her smile. I
- 3:19Speaker 1: don't know what those are. I don't know what they're
- 3:21Speaker 1: supposed to be other than that there's Wonka. Okay, I
- 3:27Speaker 1: didn't send the colt. You've screwed up, blake.
- 3:29Speaker 3: That's okay. I'll try the I'll try the Wonka one.
- 3:32Speaker 1: There, here's Wonka and it's uh. I've unwrapped them so
- 3:36Speaker 1: you can. I'll try chupa chuop uh. And I guess
- 3:42Speaker 1: you just put it squirt a little bit on your finger.
- 3:44Speaker 6: And don't swallow it. Well, so you gotta spit it out.
- 3:48Speaker 6: I suppose chocolate toothpaste. Oh, it's clear.
- 3:53Speaker 3: Well it sounds terrible.
- 4:00Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's pretty nasty. Isn't the idea this is
- 4:03Speaker 2: just citrusy flavor.
- 4:04Speaker 6: Isn't the idea of of flavored toothpaste to get you
- 4:09Speaker 6: to want.
- 4:09Speaker 3: To brush your teeth?
- 4:10Speaker 6: That's the idea, you want to brush it if it
- 4:13Speaker 6: just tastes like chocolate. I guess that's like the official
- 4:17Speaker 6: Wonk of logo though, I mean these they must be
- 4:20Speaker 6: paying money for the for the actual.
- 4:22Speaker 4: Logo lucky charms, you know.
- 4:24Speaker 2: So yeah, and these are these are from the So
- 4:27Speaker 2: this his smile and her smile, so like.
- 4:31Speaker 5: The chupat smile. They're both his high smile smile, Oh
- 4:36Speaker 5: high smile. Yeah, they're both high smile.
- 4:38Speaker 2: High smile.
- 4:39Speaker 1: And so it says on the Lucky Charm and the
- 4:41Speaker 1: tupatupe product of the High Smile Company.
- 4:44Speaker 3: Oh, is that a spit cut, Katie Bryan, Well, this.
- 4:49Speaker 5: Spit cups disturbing because it's glittery lucky charms that'll make
- 4:57Speaker 5: your smile sally delicious. So it's magically delicious. But it
- 5:02Speaker 5: also starts fruity. But then is minty?
- 5:06Speaker 2: This just what this is just kind of citrusy and
- 5:08Speaker 2: then minty.
- 5:09Speaker 6: I can't well, maybe that's there's a front note in
- 5:11Speaker 6: a back note. Is what's happening there?
- 5:14Speaker 2: Now? We should we The chocolate.
- 5:15Speaker 3: One is is not clear?
- 5:18Speaker 4: It's okay. That one's not it's chocolate. Does it tastes like?
- 5:23Speaker 2: Does it taste chocolate?
- 5:26Speaker 3: These are really weird tastes like chocolate mint. That's not bad.
- 5:30Speaker 1: Actually, you should look up the High Smile Company to okay,
- 5:34Speaker 1: let's see just High Smile Hi Smile dot com.
- 5:36Speaker 3: Let's see what we I think.
- 5:38Speaker 1: Mm hm oh, now that one's kind of good. It's
- 5:43Speaker 1: just it's I don't know what it's supposed to be.
- 5:45Speaker 1: It's disturbing tastes kind of like frosting.
- 5:49Speaker 4: RFK Junior would really hate this because there's fluoride in it.
- 5:52Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's just you know, it's it's to
- 5:56Speaker 1: get some attention, for sure.
- 5:58Speaker 2: But there kind of nasty.
- 6:00Speaker 4: But Seue says the glitter. Let you know if you
- 6:04Speaker 4: swallowed it, let me you'll find out in the day.
- 6:08Speaker 2: Let me try the lucky charm. Try this one. This
- 6:10Speaker 2: is actually kind of tasty. Whatever that is.
- 6:15Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just it's a company that just has all
- 6:17Speaker 3: kinds of toothpastees.
- 6:18Speaker 5: This is this is vanilla. Look up, look on the
- 6:21Speaker 5: top there. Oh okay, So what's the other one saying?
- 6:26Speaker 5: Because I'll bet it maybe it says Colon red.
- 6:28Speaker 2: Oh this is the red velvet. Oh okay, I'm gonna
- 6:30Speaker 2: try that.
- 6:32Speaker 3: They have a whitening and all kinds. They have all kinds.
- 6:35Speaker 2: Of toothy stuff and these are just sort.
- 6:36Speaker 3: Of yeah, these are novelties. They have regular regular tooth stuff.
- 6:45Speaker 4: H Vanilla is like a like a cookie or something.
- 6:48Speaker 2: It does taste vanilla. E.
- 6:50Speaker 6: I want my toothpaste to be as minty as possible,
- 6:53Speaker 6: That's what I want.
- 6:54Speaker 3: Do you remember, like, what was the what was the
- 6:57Speaker 3: toothpaste that was cinnamon flavored?
- 6:59Speaker 2: Oh stripe?
- 7:00Speaker 3: Oh no no, and it was red. Do you remember that.
- 7:06Speaker 2: Uh no, yes, what was that? What there was that?
- 7:12Speaker 4: Was it Colgate?
- 7:13Speaker 3: Was it?
- 7:13Speaker 2: There was that toothpaste that came out in stripes? Was
- 7:16Speaker 2: it that? No?
- 7:18Speaker 3: Close up?
- 7:19Speaker 4: Close up?
- 7:21Speaker 5: Oh it has it had a stripe of green and
- 7:24Speaker 5: white and red.
- 7:25Speaker 2: No, that's that, she said, that's not the one.
- 7:27Speaker 4: That's not the one.
- 7:28Speaker 3: No, no, close up? Was the cinnamon to Okay.
- 7:31Speaker 1: I don't know what the stripe one was called, but
- 7:33Speaker 1: there was a stripey.
- 7:34Speaker 4: One fresh Aqua Fresh.
- 7:36Speaker 2: That was pretty stupid.
- 7:38Speaker 5: Now guy in the chat room has found a KFC
- 7:42Speaker 5: Fried Chicken flavored toothpaste that is fluoride free.
- 7:47Speaker 2: Well, then that's for me.
- 7:48Speaker 4: Yes, and that Crest had a cinnamon one too, Katie says.
- 7:54Speaker 3: Yea toothpaste should be minty.
- 7:57Speaker 5: Well, it isn't the point to freshen your breath, right,
- 8:00Speaker 5: So the Kentucky Fried Chicken one is from the same company,
- 8:03Speaker 5: the High Smile, the High Smile, but it doesn't have
- 8:05Speaker 5: any fluoride.
- 8:06Speaker 6: Okay, So let's seriously they're making these. They had to
- 8:10Speaker 6: pay a lot to.
- 8:11Speaker 2: Get their right, their nicely packaged you know, I.
- 8:14Speaker 6: Mean, is anybody like using this entire tube and then
- 8:18Speaker 6: buying a new like Oh, this is my go to toothpaste.
- 8:21Speaker 2: Maybe they buy it as a joke.
- 8:25Speaker 3: Why do they make any money with that?
- 8:28Speaker 1: Lots of you bought it, Yeah, lots of people buy jokes.
- 8:33Speaker 4: The cinnamon one is close up. I still use it today.
- 8:36Speaker 4: Oh they still have it.
- 8:40Speaker 2: Well, I'm gonna. I'm gonna.
- 8:41Speaker 1: I think I'll use these. Why I like the vanilla
- 8:44Speaker 1: one because I like the taste of it.
- 8:47Speaker 5: High Smile is an Australian toothpaste company based in Queensland,
- 8:52Speaker 5: founded in twenty fourteen, featuring products from lip balm, whitening kits,
- 8:56Speaker 5: toothbrushes and toothpaste.
- 8:58Speaker 3: Yeah, they have like pretty straight ahead tooth stuff.
- 9:01Speaker 6: Well here you can have the chocolate one too, Bill,
- 9:04Speaker 6: you have all of them.
- 9:07Speaker 4: Let's see.
- 9:08Speaker 5: Mint freshens the mouth, primarily due to its flavor and
- 9:11Speaker 5: the way it interacts with our senses, creating a feeling
- 9:14Speaker 5: of freshness. The menthol in mint stimulates nerve receptors that detect.
- 9:19Speaker 4: Cold, giving a cooling sensation.
- 9:23Speaker 5: Additionally, mince strong scent can mask bad breath, and chewing
- 9:28Speaker 5: or sucking on mint flavored items can increase saliva production
- 9:31Speaker 5: with help which helps wash away odor causing bacteria.
- 9:36Speaker 3: Huh, minty fresh. I like minty Fresh.
- 9:39Speaker 2: I kind of like the chocolate one too.
- 9:41Speaker 6: Really.
- 9:41Speaker 5: Yeah, menta dent toothpaste came out from two separate chambers
- 9:47Speaker 5: and mixed together as you pumped it out.
- 9:51Speaker 2: Yeah, they can't.
- 9:51Speaker 1: It's like a big bottom and you had to push
- 9:55Speaker 1: the pump with your hand.
- 9:56Speaker 4: Mm yeah. Close up is still cinnamon and still available?
- 10:01Speaker 1: Well, all right, thank you, Blake. I guess it's there.
- 10:05Speaker 1: Certainly unusual. Here's the vanilla. Yeah, I'll take them. I'll
- 10:09Speaker 1: take them all, Mike. I'll bet my kid likes them.
- 10:12Speaker 4: Probably.
- 10:13Speaker 6: I'll use them as long as you're brushing, I don't
- 10:17Speaker 6: care what.
- 10:19Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, there's mentadent.
- 10:22Speaker 2: What do you use?
- 10:23Speaker 3: Now? What's your toothpaste now?
- 10:25Speaker 4: Crest?
- 10:26Speaker 3: Just straight ahead, Crest.
- 10:27Speaker 1: I use the what's the one that you know that's
- 10:31Speaker 1: supposed to censidine?
- 10:33Speaker 2: Censidine?
- 10:33Speaker 1: Yeah, my dentist recommended it a long time ago, and
- 10:39Speaker 1: he used to say on the sensidine, you know, you
- 10:41Speaker 1: shouldn't use it all the time, just use it occasionally.
- 10:43Speaker 1: And he said, that's nonsense. Just use it, just use it.
- 10:47Speaker 1: So I've used I've used it for years because it
- 10:50Speaker 1: because I did experience sometime years ago tooth sensitivity. He
- 10:55Speaker 1: said this because little cracks have developed in your teeth
- 10:57Speaker 1: and this censidine will fill those in.
- 11:00Speaker 4: So correct me. It's crest with scope.
- 11:02Speaker 3: Oh sont fresh.
- 11:05Speaker 4: The minty fresh.
- 11:08Speaker 3: I want to go brush my teeth.
- 11:10Speaker 5: I want to get one of those toothbrushes that plays songs,
- 11:14Speaker 5: but only in your head, but only when you have
- 11:17Speaker 5: it in your mouth.
- 11:18Speaker 3: It conducts, hear it, It conducts through the bones in
- 11:20Speaker 3: your It vibrates your head.
- 11:22Speaker 2: I don't think I would care for that.
- 11:25Speaker 4: I saw that it was a kiss one.
- 11:31Speaker 2: Oh well, thanks Blake.
- 11:33Speaker 4: Thank you Blake.
- 11:34Speaker 2: I guess yeah, don't do it again.
- 11:38Speaker 5: Tooth Tunes, the discontinued line of children's toothbrushes by Tiger Electronics.
- 11:46Speaker 5: Once activated, the small CPU and the handle played a
- 11:49Speaker 5: featured song on the chip by transferring vibrations through the bristles,
- 11:55Speaker 5: which acted as trans transducers to the front teeth, through
- 12:00Speaker 5: the jawbone into the inner ear.
- 12:02Speaker 3: Why don't they make them anymore?
- 12:04Speaker 5: I imagine that it's probably discovered deaf, dangerous or something.
- 12:09Speaker 5: Katie said that the kiss song was rock and roll,
- 12:11Speaker 5: all night and party and part of every day, just
- 12:16Speaker 5: part what all right?