Latest / Son of a Boy Dad / LEMON PARTY | Son of a Boy Dad #197

Transcript

LEMON PARTY | Son of a Boy Dad #197 · Son of a Boy Dad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners. You can find
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
• 0:11
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, early show, we thought it was going to be like, yeah, someone.
• 2:42
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• 2:44
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• 2:46
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• 3:07
  Speaker 3: On a Sunday, a guy flew in from London.
• 3:11
  Speaker 10: Hey, what's going on there?
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: Pal? We saw you in the hockey game Mark.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: I know you, guys.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: I'm Ryan Whitney. I got a drink named after me, Dude,
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Pink Whitney.
• 3:19
  Speaker 8: That's what I thought.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: See you fellas, I invented the thing. You pigeoned Pink
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: Whitney for legendary moments and it's the show. And they
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: had to throw him at Jesus and then he threw
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: up all over the sidewalk and they're like, do you
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: want to let him back in? I'm like, hey, he
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: flew in from London and everything. And then they let
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: him back in and he started groping people and.
• 3:39
  Speaker 8: By the way, you guys, yeah, and then another retarded
• 3:43
  Speaker 8: guy in the crowd was trying to fight him, and
• 3:46
  Speaker 8: it was like it was retarded. It was like a
• 3:49
  Speaker 8: retard duel. They buck broke each other.
• 3:56
  Speaker 10: I sat on somebody's retarded hat.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: That was true.
• 4:06
  Speaker 11: That's hilarious for fights to be breaking out in like
• 4:08
  Speaker 11: an intimate club in.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: New York before it's Darls.
• 4:13
  Speaker 10: Just in the middle of Chinatown.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: You know what's funny with the shows too, is it's
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: I'm going in and out of the crowd with a
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: wireless microphone and Jason Devon are on stage and I'm
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: going back up and we're doing our whole thing, right,
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: So it's kind of more interactive where we're talking to
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: the crowd and stuff and what's funny is like, I'm
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: talking to this one guy and then just from across
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: he said something I can't remember what it was. And
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: then just across the room, some guy he just goes fact.
• 4:43
  Speaker 5: It was like the biggest left, he's the new fourth mic.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: And he was the guy that was like he was
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: one of the ones trying to fight the other retarded
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: guy from London who got thrown out. It was like
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: zero for one hundred for the whole night, and then
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: at the very end he whispered and it was like Rudy,
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: like it was his moment.
• 5:01
  Speaker 10: We literally said half ford shot. He threw up effect
• 5:06
  Speaker 10: and what's funny.
• 5:06
  Speaker 12: We had a second show and then there was a
• 5:09
  Speaker 12: completely different guy. Somebody else was like, I'm from like
• 5:12
  Speaker 12: Rockaway Beach and guy goes gay and it didn't he
• 5:14
  Speaker 12: didn't get as big of a pot.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Because that's like Firefighter Central, that's like first respect.
• 5:19
  Speaker 10: I don't know.
• 5:20
  Speaker 12: People kept going like I'm from Exit fifty seven, and people.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Like a specific area where it was the dude groping
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: dudes or girls.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: He was opportunity.
• 5:33
  Speaker 12: I think it was he grew up a girl and
• 5:34
  Speaker 12: a guy at the same time, like a couple. He
• 5:37
  Speaker 12: did a.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's just sad because you have going uh here,
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: why won't you let me back in with my friend?
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: Those are my friends? Yeah, my friends? Why don't you
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: let me back? And I'm pretty sure the guy was
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: Jimmy sav just a serial flying.
• 5:55
  Speaker 11: Into London, throwing up before the show starts and then
• 5:58
  Speaker 11: getting kicked out for groping people that I had to fly.
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: He was so funny.
• 6:02
  Speaker 8: There's no green room, so we had a table set
• 6:04
  Speaker 8: up with like the booze that we brought for ourselves,
• 6:07
  Speaker 8: and people would cut.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: They kept walking up like can I get a beer?
• 6:10
  Speaker 10: Like no, this is our like we're doing the show
• 6:13
  Speaker 10: and they're like, oh fun.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: And then.
• 6:17
  Speaker 8: The British dude walked in and he like' like he's
• 6:19
  Speaker 8: he's just he hasn't seen in years. I can't see anymore,
• 6:22
  Speaker 8: basically is and we're like what is that hit? And
• 6:28
  Speaker 8: we go are you need the bathroom? It's right there
• 6:30
  Speaker 8: and then he looks like.
• 6:32
  Speaker 10: Ben and he was moving like Jack Sparrow, like.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: He's the first guy to like fly spirit airlines from somehow.
• 6:48
  Speaker 12: And then the guy who fought him was this guy
• 6:51
  Speaker 12: who was wearing like a federal pin sweatshirts.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: He whispered fag.
• 6:54
  Speaker 12: He's a guy whispered fag. He had a handle bur mustache.
• 6:57
  Speaker 12: And he gave me Chinese medicine.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, someone like Chinese pills at us. Some guy handing
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: me a shirt that said something about the most racist
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: man alive. I don't know it was, it was, it was.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: And then they tried to bring a table out for
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: us at the very beginning of the show and it broke.
• 7:11
  Speaker 8: And then it was like place couldn't fit the table
• 7:13
  Speaker 8: on stage, so we like awkwardly walked in after he failed.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: And then he just didn't say anything. We just had
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: to walk out.
• 7:19
  Speaker 8: Yeah, and then I could We couldn't find our mics.
• 7:23
  Speaker 10: We're sitting on a chair like big gay person.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: So it got it was but it was really fun. Yeah,
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: it was fun. You wrote it out on Patreon. Probably
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: you're fucking sixteen year olds on stage. No, we're trying
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: to do it like a drake. It's it. We're having
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: a big beef right now. I mean, like, like, I
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: had a newborn baby four months ago and I've sure
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: I've gained forty pounds. We all can we all know
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: that Devon has been viciously attacking me, calling me a
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: fat ass. You are it's gross. So I've been I've
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: been attacking Devon online, But I don't know, I've just
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: been inspired because these guys as have been making me
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: listen to rap for the first time, you know, with
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: the whole Kendrick Drake thing.
• 8:04
  Speaker 8: Anytime I turn to rap music, Ben just thinks it's
• 8:06
  Speaker 8: like a fight video on Twitter with like a music
• 8:10
  Speaker 8: you know, be playing it.
• 8:11
  Speaker 10: It's like a palaeontologist. He's like taking notes.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: They keep thinking it's so funny because like they're so
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: gay about it, where they keep playing like breaking it down.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: I know you're dead You're you're dead serious about it.
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: We've been breaking it down the whole weekend. We've been
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: looking at.
• 8:27
  Speaker 12: Reading fucking Walden over there while we're.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: What's your take on it?
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: As like an outsider's perspective for seeing it for the
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: first time, just.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: Gay, It's like it's grown in. They're not actually fighting,
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: they're just writing poems about each other. It's so.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Because I'm the gamest of all of all, Like doing
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: it face to face is even gayer, like a battle
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: rap where you're like go like you're screaming in an
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: inch from their face.
• 8:56
  Speaker 10: With your lips almost touching. It is like it's I
• 9:00
  Speaker 10: think he tried to win a battle rap by like
• 9:02
  Speaker 10: trying to fuck the other guy or something.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: I think Patch Stay used to. He definitely tried to
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: do that. Rest in peace to my buddy great Legends.
• 9:10
  Speaker 10: Yeah, he was a huge like slip like a little
• 9:12
  Speaker 10: tongue on the lip or something.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: He definitely kissed someone or the lip stuff.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: No, yeah, yeah, yeah, he ate a banana in a battle,
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: like like intimidatingly ate a banana in the entire time,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: which fucking plays. But yeah, it is pretty gay. I'm
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: just like making up rumors and being like actually playing
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: in the rumor, like I I'm instilled that into your
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: camp or whatever.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: I thought.
• 9:40
  Speaker 11: I'll be honest, I thought that the Drake song last
• 9:42
  Speaker 11: night was good, and then Twitter changed my mind about
• 9:44
  Speaker 11: it completely.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't like the Drakes back on Top. I
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: don't know. I thought it was a weird song to
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: put out in like a.
• 9:53
  Speaker 8: Here like No, It's was like it sounded like he
• 9:55
  Speaker 8: was in front of like a jury like.
• 10:00
  Speaker 12: Hounds like your peth. He's like, I never fucked Millio.
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: Especially to be like, I'm way too famous to kids.
• 10:08
  Speaker 12: Yeah, it's like if I was a little less famous,
• 10:10
  Speaker 12: I'd be fucking everything.
• 10:12
  Speaker 10: Would like what do you got that you know microscope.
• 10:14
  Speaker 11: On you also to be like you only care that
• 10:17
  Speaker 11: I fucked kids because you got fucked as a kid.
• 10:20
  Speaker 10: Yeah, which is not true, which is.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: Also a lie. Yeah, Kendrick did it.
• 10:23
  Speaker 12: It's just because he's retarded and has no media literacy.
• 10:26
  Speaker 12: You can't understand a song from Yeah, you know, mister Morale.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: Mister Pule, a surprise winner. He keeps on throwing that
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: back in his face. And I mean I've been waiting
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: for this moment for like ten years. Yeah, I've hated Rake.
• 10:36
  Speaker 10: We truly.
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, I thought you were I thought you loved Drake
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: from LA I'm KENDRICKV.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: It's been viciously attacking people, like in cabs and and everybody.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: I think Drake's okay, and then it's like a pit bull,
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: like when he sees a mailman, he just starts going crazy.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: I hate it. Your crip walked to the news, Kendrick.
• 10:56
  Speaker 8: Oh, yeah, it's beautiful.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: I hope Drake kills himself.
• 11:06
  Speaker 10: Yeah, we wanted, we want him to get tired.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: You can friends with Drake.
• 11:12
  Speaker 11: He's not always good friends with Drake. Look any of
• 11:15
  Speaker 11: Drake's Instagram.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, uh, he he has before, but that does I
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: can still be objective in this.
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: He was always in the comments.
• 11:23
  Speaker 11: Throw on the fire emoji on the story and you
• 11:26
  Speaker 11: can see because he only lets people that he follows comment, right,
• 11:30
  Speaker 11: yeah's always top comment.
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's been a tough time.
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: You got to go back and delete him.
• 11:36
  Speaker 12: No.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: I wish he had like sent me an n d
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: A so I could get in the trenches with him,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: so I could write something yeah, pud pad and fucking
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: flame flame of Kendrick, because I would have went about
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: it differently. He went out sad on that last track
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: last night. It seemed like he was like resigned to
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: everything ending, and like, I mean, it could be a
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: good bait and switch to act like everything's about to
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: end then come over the top, but it just seems
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: like he's.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: Like, I'm tired of making He's tired of it. Yeah,
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: he's tired of gave up at the end of it.
• 12:02
  Speaker 8: I mean, Kendrick's you know, he's making club anthems about
• 12:04
  Speaker 8: you make a pedophiles really.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: Hard to come back from.
• 12:08
  Speaker 10: I saw video people are.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: They really are like across the country.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: There's videos from l A and fucking Atlanta and Toronto people.
• 12:18
  Speaker 12: I saw a video from the Yport is a fat
• 12:20
  Speaker 12: like women's ass tworking and there's a guy playing a
• 12:22
  Speaker 12: saxophone to the Yeah.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: You know Drake, who are his defenders?
• 12:29
  Speaker 8: Right?
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: It's like is Zalea Banks and DJ Academics.
• 12:32
  Speaker 8: It's like the family is on your side, all these people.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: And it's also like high school graduations right around the corner,
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: so he needs to be fucking sharks the onest piece.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: So you're you're more in the rap world obviously a
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: little bit, but I don't think it's that and showed
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: me your stuff. It's it's fucking and you're one of
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: the most talented people I've seen, like on screen. It's
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: that's so nice of you. Yeah, you're very nice. You're
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: very good.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: It's it was like a lot of fun while I
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: was doing it. There's not like a very high ceiling
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: because like, uh battle rappers get.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: Paid, like your no money? Is that why you stop?
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Uh yeah, basically, and it's just like it doesn't age well,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: like you can't be like these dudes dudes are turning
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: forty now and they're like continuing to battle rap and
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: shit like that, and it's just, uh, there's like less graceful,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: Like it's more graceful to go on podcast and call
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: people faggots.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: That's all the money. Really well, I.
• 13:30
  Speaker 8: Just I love battle rap because it was like the
• 13:32
  Speaker 8: last bashing of free speech for me. I'd be like,
• 13:35
  Speaker 8: there's there's a bunch of guys surrounding two other guys
• 13:37
  Speaker 8: and they're just yelling faggot.
• 13:39
  Speaker 12: I'm not kidding. I really remember. It was like twenty seventeen.
• 13:42
  Speaker 12: Me and been from a weird Christian town Sowe in La.
• 13:45
  Speaker 12: We don't know anything, and Devin and his friend Mark
• 13:47
  Speaker 12: are like smoking weed. I'm having a paranoid, schizophrenic like
• 13:51
  Speaker 12: freak out, and they're showing me like battle They're showing
• 13:54
  Speaker 12: me like Kamakazi like like battle raps and stuff. So
• 13:59
  Speaker 12: that one guy, that La guy, you know what I'm
• 14:01
  Speaker 12: talking about, Kamakazi catastrophe, something like that.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: Dumbfounded or like disaster or.
• 14:12
  Speaker 12: Bro yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a guy like shitting
• 14:14
  Speaker 12: himself in front of him.
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you showed me that. Yeah, that was Daylight.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Daylight, And he used to write for Drake and
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: now he like write for Kendrick or something like that.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: That guy parlayed shitting himself and doing whiteface into like.
• 14:26
  Speaker 10: Being with the guy himself wrote for Drake.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, exactly. He's like a gus. He's amazing. Yeah,
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: he's fucking brilliant.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: The dude disaster that they showed you, that guy is
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: actually a fucking genius. He's like a polygot. He's battled
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: in like German. He just battled in like uh Tagalog
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: or some ship like in the Philippines or something like.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: He's like can learn a language, rap battle in it
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: and just has done that maybe like six or seven
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: times in different countries.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, super impressive. He's one of my favorites.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's there's some very it's like super talented guys
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: and paid no money to just scream insults from like.
• 15:03
  Speaker 10: That was the whole thing with it.
• 15:04
  Speaker 8: I was like, I can't believe these guys aren't like
• 15:07
  Speaker 8: more known, Like it's I mean, I don't know, I
• 15:09
  Speaker 8: think so much of comedy sucks and I would watch
• 15:11
  Speaker 8: you guys like these guys are like geniuses.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: This is like amazingly done.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: People are really talented, and it was like the that
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: it was like the last place where like, uh, you
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: could really say whatever you wanted until the Tom Brady
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: roast happened last night and.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: Then comedy's back.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys. Obviously you guys didn't
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: get to watch it because.
• 15:31
  Speaker 10: We hate all comedy.
• 15:32
  Speaker 12: I know.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: Your personal heroes.
• 15:41
  Speaker 12: Yeah, I love watching a comedian read joke. Somebody else wrote.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: The definitely were so great. So they were watching did you.
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: Watch that sas I watched. I watched some of it.
• 15:52
  Speaker 11: I was watching the hockey, so I would pause it.
• 15:54
  Speaker 11: I didn't watch any of the football players, so I
• 15:56
  Speaker 11: don't need to see ye like gron creating jokes that
• 15:59
  Speaker 11: some dude la.
• 16:00
  Speaker 12: But that could be great because Gronk could throw like
• 16:02
  Speaker 12: just a fagot out of it, like just ruin every endorsement.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: They were all calling Tom Brady gay really fresh.
• 16:09
  Speaker 11: Yeah, all every single not there was literally there's probably
• 16:12
  Speaker 11: like fifteen people that spoke, and every single one of
• 16:16
  Speaker 11: them called Gronk retarded.
• 16:19
  Speaker 5: And Goronk got like visibly he got to a point
• 16:21
  Speaker 5: where he was like what is going on? Retarding?
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: Smashing and he did smash like a glass. The craziest
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: thing is Burt Kreischer has the most CT.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: I saw.
• 16:38
  Speaker 12: He kept getting mad when people would bring up Giselle, right,
• 16:41
  Speaker 12: like you get pissed off.
• 16:43
  Speaker 11: That's yeah, well, I mean I don't think he probably
• 16:46
  Speaker 11: didn't expect it.
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: To be that crazy. And then people were like, your
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: wife cheated on you with a jiu jitsu coach, So.
• 16:53
  Speaker 10: You're Tom Brady. You got to like watch tape, you know, yeah.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: Research watch the other roast.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: There was one part where he got like visibly furious
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: when Jeff Ross said some shit about him.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: Uh y about Robert Kraft. Yeah, he saw he's in
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: front of him, right, and he was like, don't know
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: Robert Craft. He was like, yeah, again, I.
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: Was just talking about that with U.
• 17:14
  Speaker 11: Do you guys know the ru garbage you guys, Yeah,
• 17:16
  Speaker 11: I was just talking about with them and they were saying,
• 17:18
  Speaker 11: we were saying, I think that's just like I think
• 17:20
  Speaker 11: Tom Brady was trying to be funny, and I think
• 17:21
  Speaker 11: it's just like athlete brain. Probably they don't know how
• 17:24
  Speaker 11: to do a joke. So he's like, I'm gonna go
• 17:27
  Speaker 11: say this, and then everyone's like Tom Brady's pissed.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're probably right.
• 17:30
  Speaker 8: The craziest moment I saw while taking a ship this
• 17:32
  Speaker 8: morning on my phone was h Julian Edelman making a
• 17:36
  Speaker 8: fucking like Aaron Hernandez himself.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he was crazy.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Jesus, The joke writers went crazy, Mike Lawrence or J. P.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: McDade or whichever bros. We're out there writing jokes.
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah, there was a lot of Aaron. It was a
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: lot of Aaron Hernandez.
• 17:51
  Speaker 11: Tom Brady's gay and uh oh you know, Andrew Schultz
• 17:56
  Speaker 11: said that he did call Jeff Ross a pedophile, which
• 17:58
  Speaker 11: was shocking to me. Oh wow, yeah, because I was like,
• 18:01
  Speaker 11: I'm surprised they let that fly.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: You know, one talks about that.
• 18:04
  Speaker 11: Yeah, and then everyone laughed and I was like, oh
• 18:06
  Speaker 11: so that's just like accepted.
• 18:07
  Speaker 8: Yeah, time Jeff Ross is like, well, you're a lagger.
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: Literally literally exactly.
• 18:17
  Speaker 11: It was like it was like, you know, like when
• 18:19
  Speaker 11: on all those roads from like Kevin Hard and Andrew
• 18:21
  Speaker 11: Schaals are doing like there they're kicking and ship running around.
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: It was like.
• 18:29
  Speaker 11: It's like, but Jeff Ross had that reaction to the
• 18:32
  Speaker 11: joke about him being a pedophile, He like pretended to
• 18:35
  Speaker 11: run away and he was like, oh, not me.
• 18:36
  Speaker 12: He's like, I did, I didn't thought I I am actuallyophile?
• 18:43
  Speaker 10: Looked up?
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Is that I don't know? Is that a thing? The
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: backstories that Jeff Ross is a pedophile?
• 18:54
  Speaker 10: I know. Yeah, it's actually a really interesting story. He
• 18:58
  Speaker 10: found a child and.
• 19:02
  Speaker 8: It's one of those where there's smoke, there's rape. It's
• 19:07
  Speaker 8: like one of those things where I think there's stories
• 19:09
  Speaker 8: that he was like grooming a waitress that was like
• 19:11
  Speaker 8: fifteen or sixteen, yeah, or something.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: Who knows.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: You can always tell that he's a kind of focused
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: on like the fame side of things, or he would
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: always like try to have some like arm candy and
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: bring him to like a roast.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Battle or something like that. Yeah, it's interesting, see don't
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: you see it? Because you're when you watch a roast
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: like that, see because like isn't like the earliest comedy,
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: like the guys like a rhyming on stage and like
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: in a like a like Shakespeare. Yeah, yeah, that's type.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: That's like that's kind of what you guys are doing
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: on like the rap battles is superior to the like
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: when you watch people just telling jokes without having to
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: rhyme and stuff, aren't you Like fuck, it's not as good.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: But I think there's also something about a joke. It
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: could be a little bit worse if it rhymes, and
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: like people don't see it coming, like if it rhymes,
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: just like oh shit, like I didn't like you just
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: don't expect it coming. As far as if it's just
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: a one liner, it has to be funny in and
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: of itself, whereas if it's rhyming, there's probably a little
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: bit more.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: Like a lot.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Of the jokes within battle rap, if you just took
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: them out, there's probably not a ton of them that
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: will be funny in and of themselves, but it's more
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: like the context of it. And there's also within battle rap,
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: like not everybody tries to be funny. A lot of
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: people try to be aggressive or like challenge somebody's street
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: credit or whatever.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: I got a gun bigger than Godzilla. Yeah yeah like that? Yeah, okay,
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: did you? Is there ever any improvisation in that stuff?
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: Some people do that.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Some people will like rebuttal stuff like that, and then
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: there used to be used to be completely improvisation, But
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: that's significantly worse, like the stuff that you could come
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: up with on the spot will be way worse than
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: what you come up with over time. Like if you
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: have a month to write for somebody, all that will
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: be significantly better than just like what you come up
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: with on a beat or in like the last couple
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: of seconds.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: And these guys, since there's such they're amazing writers. These
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: guys go on to write for like Drake and Kendrick
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: and people. I mean, that's a very that dude kind
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: of it is an outlier. That dude's an outlier.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, most people don't get like writing jobs or but
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: they all like lie, they all want to make it
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: seem like they're more successful or powerful than they are.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: But they're getting paid a thousand dollars in battle. So
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: even if you do sixteen battles a year.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: You're, oh shit, six that's oh fuck.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Like there's there's like one percent of one percent or
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: making actual money off of it.
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: Who was the dude that you battled? It was one
• 21:29
  Speaker 5: of your early ones.
• 21:30
  Speaker 11: Where the where you like destroyed him the first two
• 21:33
  Speaker 11: rounds and then he tried to like freestyle.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: Was it profit? It was like really old the grandma's
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: favorite grandson.
• 21:39
  Speaker 11: I think it was this dude illegal, yeah, and it
• 21:42
  Speaker 11: was like it was just it wasn't even like on stage.
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: It was like ten dudes in a room like this and.
• 21:46
  Speaker 11: Like a record store, and he like destroyed him and
• 21:50
  Speaker 11: then the dude tried to freestyle and then.
• 21:52
  Speaker 10: Just like ran off.
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: Dude.
• 21:56
  Speaker 12: I saw I used to do this open mic on
• 21:58
  Speaker 12: like Los Felis Boulevard and I saw a guy went
• 22:01
  Speaker 12: up and tried.
• 22:03
  Speaker 10: He was like, he's a white dude.
• 22:04
  Speaker 12: He was like, I'm trying to like I'm making it
• 22:05
  Speaker 12: in the rap game, so if you don't mind, just
• 22:07
  Speaker 12: like I want to practice like wrapping in front of people.
• 22:09
  Speaker 12: But he had social anxiety, and it was so funny
• 22:12
  Speaker 12: to watch a guy with social anxiety rap because he's like,
• 22:14
  Speaker 12: I'm the best, I'm the closer in the game, and
• 22:18
  Speaker 12: he was like turning away.
• 22:23
  Speaker 8: My favorite thing about like hip hop and RBS, you
• 22:25
  Speaker 8: have to have the bravado no matter how badly you're doing,
• 22:29
  Speaker 8: like pissing yourself and shipping yourself and crying, oh.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: The great sucker got so much money. I'll kill you.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: What you're saying about the aging thing where you can't
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: like we always talk about eminem like it's such an
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: interesting study like as he gets older, as it's just
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: it doesn't it's really hard. I meant one of my
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: favorite I know. It's such an upsetting time.
• 22:52
  Speaker 10: So he unfortunately got sober. That's the problem.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he didn't die.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Unfortunately he died that he would be like on white
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: people's walls, like.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he would be so famous if he died.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: But instead he's making like, you know, Call of Duty.
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: That's literally what it is.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: Soundtracks for that one.
• 23:13
  Speaker 11: What was the one album where he's where he's roll back?
• 23:25
  Speaker 11: What was the one where he's like he's like face
• 23:27
  Speaker 11: palming with the American flag behind.
• 23:29
  Speaker 12: Him, and then he tried to come back and he
• 23:36
  Speaker 12: was like, look how fast I can wrap?
• 23:38
  Speaker 10: Though, Yeah, that's not like, that's not why it.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Sucks, And that's not fun to listen to somebody rapping
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: so fast that you can't understand what they're saying.
• 23:46
  Speaker 11: It's fun when you're like in high school, like the
• 23:48
  Speaker 11: like rap God was My number one goal was to
• 23:51
  Speaker 11: try and memorize that so that I could go to
• 23:54
  Speaker 11: school the next day and be like check this out.
• 23:58
  Speaker 10: He starts immediate.
• 24:02
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it's like it's like thinking, you know, like when
• 24:06
  Speaker 8: I was a kid, I thought like I wanted to
• 24:07
  Speaker 8: play like Immortal Technique and like parties.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: Guys. This is a song about him rating.
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: We were just talking about this. We were were talking
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: about you know, Slug Christ. Now you know like suicide Boys. Okay.
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: I was like super into Suicide Boys in high school.
• 24:22
  Speaker 11: And there's this dude like Slug Christ who's just just
• 24:24
  Speaker 11: a straight up heroin addicts.
• 24:25
  Speaker 12: That was all he was.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: His videos were him doing heroin and songs like hair Haro.
• 24:30
  Speaker 11: And I was like going to parties in high school
• 24:32
  Speaker 11: and be like check this ship out, and then people
• 24:34
  Speaker 11: would be like, dude, what do you do? And then
• 24:36
  Speaker 11: I wouldn't get invited to parties, like everyone hates me.
• 24:39
  Speaker 8: It's a weird misconception we have and we're in like
• 24:41
  Speaker 8: high school that we think girls want to see the
• 24:44
  Speaker 8: guy listened to like the hardcore like evil music.
• 24:48
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 24:49
  Speaker 12: I remember Devin was we were driving to a show
• 24:52
  Speaker 12: and he was, like I said, he was like teaching
• 24:54
  Speaker 12: us about like black culture, and he was like showing
• 24:57
  Speaker 12: us eminem and then you put on Kim on the
• 24:59
  Speaker 12: car radio and you just screamed along to Kim and
• 25:02
  Speaker 12: it was kind of terrified.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: He was the creepiest thing ever made. Dude, I love, like,
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: did it your dad? Find your Eminem pull the car over?
• 25:13
  Speaker 8: He broke them because I used to have to, like
• 25:16
  Speaker 8: I would burn him and then I would name it
• 25:17
  Speaker 8: like you know, a teletubby sound whatever, anything that threw
• 25:21
  Speaker 8: him off. The scent, and uh, my dad's like a
• 25:24
  Speaker 8: fucking I don't know, like a.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: Liberal gay guy. It's like a Trump derangement syndrome a
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: little bit.
• 25:31
  Speaker 10: A little bit.
• 25:31
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I love him, but uh yeah, but he's like
• 25:34
  Speaker 8: into hip hop, where like if I showed him the
• 25:36
  Speaker 8: right songs, I'll show him like a nase like I
• 25:38
  Speaker 8: know I.
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: Can't well people.
• 25:45
  Speaker 10: I like when Eminem rapped about Trump, that was good.
• 25:48
  Speaker 8: You know, I would show him like Stan, like look though,
• 25:50
  Speaker 8: that's like ude, that's like a story. It's not him
• 25:52
  Speaker 8: just calling people fags and all that. But I would
• 25:55
  Speaker 8: just pretend that was the only thing I knew.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: But I had the whole album was Mother, Kill You.
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: Your wife and your Mom.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: And he he had like a friend in the car
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: and he.
• 26:04
  Speaker 8: Was like, Devin, show people that I'm cultured, and like
• 26:06
  Speaker 8: had me play some Eminem for him and some rap.
• 26:09
  Speaker 8: So I just played the hits that I knew a
• 26:11
  Speaker 8: duel and then he was like, no, no, keep it going.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: I'm like, no, no, it's okay. You can just eject.
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: In the back.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: Said no, it's okay, and he goes, why what what's wrong?
• 26:18
  Speaker 8: And he turns it up and it's Killed You by
• 26:20
  Speaker 8: Eminem the craziest fucking songs, and he's like getting furious
• 26:24
  Speaker 8: behind the wheel. He skids off the road like he
• 26:27
  Speaker 8: pulled over in front, like in front of this other guy.
• 26:30
  Speaker 8: And this guy's like, what the fuck is going on?
• 26:32
  Speaker 8: And he gets out of the car and he goes
• 26:34
  Speaker 8: through my CD case and.
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: He started ripping them on the highway.
• 26:38
  Speaker 8: Trucks are flying by and I'm like trying just.
• 26:45
  Speaker 10: He goes like.
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: He did that.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: He gon, do you want to kill your mom?
• 26:55
  Speaker 10: What's going on?
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: I want to kill you?
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: How old were you when this happened?
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: But even here it's funny, this is still stuff like
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: this is still happening to this day with Devin where
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: they go coffee and it's like a completely new thing.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: Like at the bar him standing up about Trump but
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: like screaming, we had a nice day.
• 27:15
  Speaker 8: We went he saw a movie, We drank a little bit,
• 27:17
  Speaker 8: and then at the end of the night, like Trump
• 27:20
  Speaker 8: got brought up.
• 27:21
  Speaker 5: I'm not like a.
• 27:22
  Speaker 8: Trump guy, but I was just like, you know, poking
• 27:24
  Speaker 8: some holes in his whole you know, every Democrats amazing whatever.
• 27:27
  Speaker 8: And he got like enrage and he starts yelling about
• 27:30
  Speaker 8: like does your my girlfriend Ida?
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: He's like, does Ida believe this?
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: Do you believe this?
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: And I'm like a little bit.
• 27:37
  Speaker 8: A lot of people very disillusioned things are going, and
• 27:41
  Speaker 8: I don't really know if anyone has a side anymore.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: And he stormed out of the bar. It was like
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: I was like driving around the neighborhood looking for him
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: like a stray dog. It was like two in the morning.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: He walked like four miles home and a great way
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: to get out of a bar. Tab too. Yeah, he
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: left me with the tab Oh really Yeah? Yeah, that's incredible, dude.
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: So it sounds exactly like my dad.
• 28:02
  Speaker 11: Dude, my dad does the exact like the like I
• 28:04
  Speaker 11: remember when the when the twenty sixteen election happened, when
• 28:07
  Speaker 11: Trump won, and my dad standing in front of the
• 28:09
  Speaker 11: TV being like they said there was gonna be a
• 28:11
  Speaker 11: blue waves, like the whole family like dispersing into different rooms.
• 28:21
  Speaker 12: Yeah, it's very weird because then they'll like see like
• 28:23
  Speaker 12: a like a New Mexican garden and they'll be like
• 28:25
  Speaker 12: keep your eyes on it.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: They're on next door. Like I saw another one today,
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: run I had, I did have. I didn have a
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: question for ro Own. Yeah. So like like you didn't
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: know the Jeff Ross like pedophile thing, right, Yeah, but
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: like living in LA and like you know, being in
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: comedy or whatever, like you do hear rumors like way before,
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: like people get to know certain things, like is are
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: there rumors you know about like these guys in the
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: rap world and stuff like being like pedophiles and shit
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: like that that the public doesn't know about. There's the
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: I've never I'd never heard any of that shit.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: I even was the other way because I know dudes
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: who are in like uh Diddy's camp or whatever, and
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: they're like insisting that nothing happened.
• 29:08
  Speaker 10: Yeah, because they got breaks, no fun in the mouth
• 29:16
  Speaker 10: in their mouth.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: So I'm literally like going one against ten against people
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: like defending Diddy. They're like trying to keep a black
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: man down, Like you don't fucking get it. Uh So
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: I probably go the other way, trying to like defend people.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: Interesting, but I don't. There hasn't been a ton of
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: shit that I heard. I didn't.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: I know that Hollywood's way more gossipy though, because I
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: was writing for a TV show in like twenty seventeen
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: in Hollywood, and they're like, they talked about the Dan
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Schneider shit, like very publicly when no one else had
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: talked about it. And so I had a radio show
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: back here at Barstool when I came back, and I
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: like talked about it and no one had heard about it.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: I was like writing blogs about Dan Schneider in twenty seventeen,
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: and I felt like I was like breaking news to
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: the world, like no one had any idea. But I
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: I feel like everyone in Hollywood was like, Yeah, this
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: guy's all fucking freaking Why don't you tell anyone?
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: Like why does it just go? It's so funny to
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: be like Info Wars for Nickelodeon. That's so funny. Yeah,
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: did you guys know about that ship like.
• 30:20
  Speaker 8: Years and years ago out in LA where you're just like, yeah,
• 30:23
  Speaker 8: Nickelodeon's run by like a pedophile basically, but it's just
• 30:27
  Speaker 8: a joke and everyone you.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: Know, yeahs turn into jokes. And also like you hear
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: rumors and you don't. It's always like these. But the
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: thing is, these rumors always do come true, but like
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: you don't really know, Like I I've heard a great
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: disease tale and I don't know if it's true or not.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: And they'll know why. Like there's a you know, remember
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: the whole thing about Azs the was sex past or
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: something like the wrong wine. He just this lady posted
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: a whole article essentially where she was like, he invited
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: me over to his place. He knew I like the
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: red wine. He served me white wine. You know, we
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: were watching Seinfeld and he tried to stick his fingers
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: in my mouth. And then the whole time they're just
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: watching Seinfeld. He doesn't put anything good on and he
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: was very aggressive and want to take no for an answer.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: But then nothing really happened. And this was during me too.
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: Everyone read that article and went all right, well, I mean,
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: who gives a shit, right, but this one's fine, Like
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: he didn't like he got like really like soft canceled. Yeah,
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: he wasn't Louis c Cad, he wasn't Harvey Weinstein, he
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: wasn't any of that stuff. Then come later, what I
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: heard is that this is now here's the part that's
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: not I don't know if it's true. Here's where we live,
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: Here's where were celebrities. Here's the whole way of good lawyers.
• 31:46
  Speaker 10: Can't wait for us to be in a barstool loss.
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: Now here's the wildly reckless thing that I'm going to say.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: And who knows if it's fantasy or not, but it's
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: definitely definitely happened. But here's what I here's what I heard,
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: and uh, it's that his team knew a real rape
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: thing was gonna come out and that would end his
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: career forever and he would be fucking done. So they
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: formed a fake story and they paid a girl to
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: publish something that they go, you'll just get probably most
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: more than likely like kind of soft metude for it.
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: You'll have to go away for like six months. You
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: won't get to do like Master of None season whatever.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: You'll have to be like a more behind the scenes guy.
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: But you're gonna still get to have a career, yeah,
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: and you'll get to come back. So they then they
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: paid for this fake story essentially to be published. So
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: then when the real thing comes out, nobody, Oh yeah, yeah,
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: the thing about.
• 32:40
  Speaker 12: The red wine, why wine Bush Woody Allen, like he
• 32:44
  Speaker 12: got canceled in eighty seven, so we like still let him,
• 32:46
  Speaker 12: you know, make movies even though he's dating his daughter.
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's just like something I heard at like
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: a bar from like a guy because everyone's like, oh,
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: I was an assistant for whatever and this.
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: Is what I heard or some boy I could see that.
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: Who fucking knows. I mean makes sense all the time,
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: Like if it is true, I'll we'll never know.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: So was there an actual woman that was like sent
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: to his house a crisis actor to get fingers.
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: Put down to throw.
• 33:17
  Speaker 10: It's like Sandy hook.
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: They just like I guess they just paid a or
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: maybe it was a real story that they they went
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: to this woman like hey, we'll pay you money to
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: post this basically, and you need to sign an ndia
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: that you can never go public about like that you
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: received this money.
• 33:33
  Speaker 8: And yeah, that was the start of all of the
• 33:35
  Speaker 8: me two of me like yeah, we don't care anymore.
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: Real article.
• 33:38
  Speaker 8: I think that article was like it was on some
• 33:39
  Speaker 8: website called like you know, face face a false rate accusation.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: It was called baby.
• 33:47
  Speaker 10: It was literally it was like a go daddy website.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, some of us are liars.
• 33:56
  Speaker 10: Yeah it was. It was like the one two punch
• 33:58
  Speaker 10: of that.
• 33:59
  Speaker 12: And then Anthony or Dane's girlfriend being an actual pedophile herself,
• 34:03
  Speaker 12: and people.
• 34:04
  Speaker 10: Were like, all right, we can stop listening to women again.
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't even like looking into that one. You
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: did the deep dive on that and I can't really
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: do that.
• 34:11
  Speaker 5: What she was fucking kids?
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Bourdain was going on CNN all the time during
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: the Mean two movement.
• 34:16
  Speaker 8: Yeah, like you know, Champion in it, and uh uh
• 34:19
  Speaker 8: he was dating this woman what's her name?
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: Asano?
• 34:24
  Speaker 8: And then I guess she cheated on him and then
• 34:26
  Speaker 8: she got me to for like fucking like a fifteen
• 34:29
  Speaker 8: year old on a set.
• 34:30
  Speaker 10: Or she no, she worked for a kid.
• 34:33
  Speaker 12: She played the kid's mom in like a movie when
• 34:35
  Speaker 12: he was like twelve, and then she kept messaging him
• 34:38
  Speaker 12: and waited until he turned the day he turned eighteen
• 34:40
  Speaker 12: to start dating.
• 34:41
  Speaker 8: And yeah, so then I think he found out about that,
• 34:45
  Speaker 8: and then you know, he had some fun with a rope.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: Damn doesn't that always happen with Like would.
• 34:51
  Speaker 5: Suck to get cheated on? And you're like, who, what?
• 34:54
  Speaker 10: Tell me who it was? Yeah?
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was the fourteen year old.
• 34:56
  Speaker 11: From just like it's devastated.
• 35:00
  Speaker 10: You got cucked back no pubic.
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah you got cheated up with a kid with a Yeah.
• 35:08
  Speaker 10: But yeah you found like macaroni and cheese closet. Whose
• 35:15
  Speaker 10: sketchers are these?
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: But the emails are all like you've you cocked me?
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah you follow that all his last emails tours like
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: you cocked me, You've embarrassed me. How dare you? You
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: felt really really betrayed? Yeah, you sucked off the kid drawing.
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: Who's perfect?
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah? So and then he didn't he his family for her?
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: Didn't he like abandon his wife and daughter for her
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: or something like that?
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: He was.
• 35:40
  Speaker 10: I watched that whole Roadrunner doc which was pretty good.
• 35:42
  Speaker 10: He was very funny.
• 35:43
  Speaker 12: He was dating a woman for like twenty years, and
• 35:45
  Speaker 12: then the second he got famous, they immediately divorced.
• 35:49
  Speaker 10: He married some French lady. They had a kid together.
• 35:51
  Speaker 12: They eventually split up, and then he started dating des
• 35:54
  Speaker 12: our gentle lady. But in the documentary, like every single
• 35:56
  Speaker 12: one of his friends, everybody worked with was like, we
• 35:59
  Speaker 12: all were like, this is the worst lady of all time,
• 36:01
  Speaker 12: Like Anthony stopped dating, but he was just like.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: They were all his closest collaborators and people.
• 36:07
  Speaker 8: They said the last like five six months he completely changed,
• 36:10
  Speaker 8: like doing the show.
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: So he'd be like they said, because he was letting her.
• 36:13
  Speaker 8: Direct episodes too, because you know she had once to
• 36:16
  Speaker 8: be whatever, to be part of y E.
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: They all got to be a part of it. You
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: know you're talented too, because you yeah, no, you fuck me.
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: You're good to know. It's always like the guys come
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: as like magic somehow. No, no, no, she's talented too,
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: and everybody gives a ship. I don't give a fuck
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: about the first lady. I don't give a shit about
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: the wife of CEO h Argento to burning hell, I
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: hit all of it. Nobody cares. Nobody cares that you
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: fuck the guy that matters, transit value. We love to
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: do this on here, get it. It's amazing.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: I got a question for you guys though, specifically you
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: Tube Jason Ben Yeah, yeah, So I always hear about
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: your guys upbringing, how you guys were super Christian, couldn't dance,
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: couldn't like, you know, like just live a normal life.
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: But then and then we see you guys like now
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: basically full blown edge lords.
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but what was what.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: Was the like how did you get from point A
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: to point B. I feel like I never heard that,
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: Like I think.
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: Like what what changed and what are your like what
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: was your family thinking about for you?
• 37:31
  Speaker 10: Like if you're.
• 37:34
  Speaker 8: By the way, I wonder about that all the time
• 37:37
  Speaker 8: we do the show. I'm like they say, oh, yeah,
• 37:40
  Speaker 8: our grandma is on the Patreon or like.
• 37:44
  Speaker 12: Our grandma loves the show. She's always like that. When
• 37:46
  Speaker 12: you called Anthony Bourdina bitch, that was I'm.
• 37:49
  Speaker 10: Like, I'm like, stop listening.
• 37:52
  Speaker 12: Our parents kind of just treat us like if you
• 37:55
  Speaker 12: had a son who I think was like a gang
• 37:56
  Speaker 12: member and you're like, Okay, I'm not going to bring
• 37:58
  Speaker 12: that up at Thanksgiving, just so like you can, yeah, exactly,
• 38:02
  Speaker 12: juste the keep the slurs out of the on the street.
• 38:06
  Speaker 10: But I don't know.
• 38:06
  Speaker 12: For me, it was like I went to we both
• 38:08
  Speaker 12: went to Christian College, and so growing up like you're
• 38:11
  Speaker 12: kind of like, you know, you look around and you're like, well,
• 38:13
  Speaker 12: everybody seems like really retarded.
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I guess this is just how the world is.
• 38:18
  Speaker 12: I guess yeah, And you're like everybody seems like this
• 38:20
  Speaker 12: seems kind of dumb.
• 38:21
  Speaker 10: And then you go to.
• 38:21
  Speaker 12: Christian College and you start actually like learning about the
• 38:25
  Speaker 12: history of the Bible. I remember my first day in
• 38:27
  Speaker 12: Christian College. I was in my first Bible class and
• 38:30
  Speaker 12: a guy goes, now, why are all the Gospels different? Matthew, Mark, Luke,
• 38:33
  Speaker 12: and John they all tell these different stories. Why do
• 38:36
  Speaker 12: they not match up? And then everybody's like, well, you know,
• 38:39
  Speaker 12: it was different people writing it, different people remember stuff differently,
• 38:42
  Speaker 12: you know, kind of like in a police investigation, somebody
• 38:45
  Speaker 12: will say something different and then the professor goes, well,
• 38:48
  Speaker 12: that's great, except all the Gospels were ridd in three
• 38:50
  Speaker 12: hundred years after Jesus was born, and you saw like
• 38:53
  Speaker 12: eight hundred kids be like ah shit, the yeah, and
• 38:59
  Speaker 12: then you just start doing drugs and having sex. You're
• 39:03
  Speaker 12: like yeah, You're like, well, I could you know, like
• 39:05
  Speaker 12: believe in heaven or I could get my dick.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: Sucked, so experience heaven right now?
• 39:10
  Speaker 8: Yeah?
• 39:11
  Speaker 10: Exactly.
• 39:11
  Speaker 11: Because there was there a lot of like hardcore kids
• 39:14
  Speaker 11: at college, like not not like hardcore, like into was
• 39:19
  Speaker 11: with the hardcore kids.
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like I was like a para because
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: I would I played like Edward forty hands for seven
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: straight days.
• 39:26
  Speaker 10: I am.
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: I looked like a grimmer, warm time by the end,
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: I was like a ghoul, like laying in my bed.
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: I got really sick, like I would just be I
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: would just drink a lot and stuff. I mean, as
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: soon as I found Booze, it kind of fixed everything,
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: the thing. I guess Jace Jays kind of looked at
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: it more like academically and tried to disprove the whole thing.
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: And for me it was always I guess sort of
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: a I was like religulous.
• 39:54
  Speaker 10: Yeah, I was like, dude, Bill Maher's so fuck.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: I always kept on like trying to figure out, like
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: emotionally like what was wrong because I stopped. My family
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: left town right and they were the only people that
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: cared about me. When I was like freshman year of college,
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: I gained a ship, a little weight. I played d
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: one golf for one year. I got too fat the
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: swing and uh, I was all staying golf.
• 40:21
  Speaker 8: I just actually, isn't that.
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: I have like severe like mental health thing where like
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: I just couldn't imagine myself like not even hitting the ball.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: I would just I lost all my confidence. I had
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: no friends. I completely I was just crying all the time.
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: I had like insomnia. And that was the year my
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: parents like left town too, and I was like, fuck,
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: they were the only ones that cared about me. I
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: had zero friends. I go all day without talking to people,
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: and my dad expected me to keep going to church
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: even when they and I got I remember I got dressed,
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: I like in my tucked in khakis, whatever shit.
• 41:00
  Speaker 5: I remember.
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: I got in the car, I drove there, and I
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: was in the parking lot of the church. I remember
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: looking at the church and saying, that's the last place
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: in the world I want to be. And I was like,
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: why is that the last place in the world you
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: want to be? And I thought, because that's the place,
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: like I I've never felt happy in there. I was like, oh, okay,
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: so that's probably a good sign not to go in.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: So I started just looking at things kind of dude.
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: And then all hell broke loose, like people were calling
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: my dad that I wasn't in church day lying I.
• 41:36
  Speaker 12: Was good, no, yeah, I was like Ben was like
• 41:38
  Speaker 12: the joker, and I was just like kind of a
• 41:41
  Speaker 12: I was just like, well, just lie about everything.
• 41:43
  Speaker 10: We both got snitched on when they left.
• 41:45
  Speaker 12: I stopped going immediately, and they're like, we heard from
• 41:48
  Speaker 12: you know this eighty five year old yeah, yeah, you know,
• 41:50
  Speaker 12: just hates gay people. You were going to church and
• 41:52
  Speaker 12: I was like, oh, I'm going with my friends to
• 41:54
  Speaker 12: the New Baptist.
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: She he lied down. And I thought I was supposed
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: to be like honest with my parents and like if
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: I was on a with them, they'd be honest with
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: me and that creates like a good relationship, and that
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: was I did the exact opposite. But you were like,
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: the Bible has been lying to me there's entire time.
• 42:09
  Speaker 12: Well I was just like, well, I don't if people
• 42:11
  Speaker 12: are mad at me, I want to kill myself.
• 42:15
  Speaker 10: And then I kind of, I kind of I did
• 42:17
  Speaker 10: it for me in my head.
• 42:18
  Speaker 12: I was like, well, if I tell him stuff that
• 42:19
  Speaker 12: won't make them mad at me, then I won't want
• 42:22
  Speaker 12: to kill myself. So I was just a liar for
• 42:25
  Speaker 12: like the next like six years of my life.
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: So I told them. I was like, yeah, I don't
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: feel God in there. I feel very lonely there, and
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: it doesn't I'm not like it brought me to this deeply,
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: deeply unhappy place, So why would I I stick with
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: it basically, And what did they What was their response
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: to that? But you like fag it.
• 42:47
  Speaker 10: It was kind of like this is all Obama's fault.
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: You're supposed to be a blue wave.
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: Do you believe this? It was like we kind of
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: just didn't speak for a long time, really, and it
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: was I was just seeing I've always felt like this
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: black sheep weirdly where and I feel like I have
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: like such good intentions and I think I'm a good person,
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: I guess, even though we have a podcast where we
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: call people fat, gay and retarded like the time, But
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: I think it comes from how much we love good thing. Yeah,
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: we want them to be better so much, but I
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: don't know. I mean, then then eventually it gets to
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: the point where your parents, I think this happens with
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: almost anybody, is that your parents realize. Okay, Either I
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: can keep being upset with them to the point that
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: they'll never speak to me again. Or I can look
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: past that and they can be my friend and I
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: can text them and I can call them and we
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: can still play golf together and we'll just avoid this.
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: This will never I'll never bring up God or religion.
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: I might say something condescending every now and then to
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: my son as I'm about to tee off, you know
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: about like heaven or whatever. But like other than that,
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: I mean, ultimately they're like, I mean, I have a daughter,
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: and my biggest fear is that she's she's four months
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: old now, and I love her so much. Like if
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: I start talking about her for too long, I start
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: like crying. I love her so much. If she grew
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: up and she didn't talk to me anymore, I'd fucking
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: like kill myself. Yeah, I couldn't fucking do it. So
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: I think you put all ideology aside if you truly
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: do love your parents. Eventually, and then they go, fine,
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: fuck it, I still want to I still want them
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: to hang out with me. Yeah, ultimately, so they kind
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: of a lot of people kind of start shedding that
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: stuff as they they become worse versions of themselves. But
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: they also start shedding a lot of things too. They fuck,
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: They just they fuck up so much. They they they
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: fuck up so much as they're raising you. They're so
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: stressed about finances. They they people have too many kids.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: They can't afford them. They can't give each kid enough
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: attention to form them into a healthy adult.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: And they probably have these preconceived notions based on the
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: like shit their parents.
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: They're like detached parents dumped on them.
• 44:58
  Speaker 12: It's a thing where you like in your mid twine,
• 45:00
  Speaker 12: these like you're all angry and pissed off, and then
• 45:02
  Speaker 12: they're angry and pissed off. And then as you kind
• 45:05
  Speaker 12: of get older, like you like both, you kind of
• 45:07
  Speaker 12: realized like, well, like this is like stupid, you know,
• 45:10
  Speaker 12: like they're like the Hamma Weinberger's a comedy as a joke,
• 45:14
  Speaker 12: always like to he's like being mad at your parents
• 45:16
  Speaker 12: friend they treat He's like being mad at the guy
• 45:18
  Speaker 12: in front of you in traffic for the traffic. It's
• 45:22
  Speaker 12: just it's just passing down the line, you know. So
• 45:25
  Speaker 12: like at a certain point you're like, well I want
• 45:27
  Speaker 12: I love these people. I want him in my life.
• 45:29
  Speaker 12: So like you know, fuck it, you know. So that's
• 45:32
  Speaker 12: where we just kind of you just kind of end
• 45:34
  Speaker 12: up somewhere there, and that's what.
• 45:35
  Speaker 5: Are you the same way? Like you you like that,
• 45:37
  Speaker 5: like they have accepted that you're not into the church
• 45:40
  Speaker 5: or they.
• 45:41
  Speaker 10: I still think you're going to I'm like I'm like
• 45:44
  Speaker 10: I told him.
• 45:45
  Speaker 8: I'm a.
• 45:47
  Speaker 5: Like we saw you're doing session on Sunday?
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: Is that before or after mask?
• 45:52
  Speaker 10: Yeah?
• 45:53
  Speaker 12: I show up for Thanksgiving with the big like Catholic
• 45:56
  Speaker 12: power father.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: No.
• 46:00
  Speaker 12: I mean there's like some awkward moments, like if we
• 46:01
  Speaker 12: go back home and I gets like Sundays rolling around,
• 46:04
  Speaker 12: I just I pretend I'm sleeping in that morning, just
• 46:07
  Speaker 12: so there's not like a you coming to church type
• 46:11
  Speaker 12: of thing. But you know, your dad will text you
• 46:13
  Speaker 12: a Bible verse and you delete it before it and
• 46:15
  Speaker 12: then you know, go back to whatever porn you're watching,
• 46:23
  Speaker 12: and it's it's we're human beings. We can hold many
• 46:26
  Speaker 12: things at once that contradict each other. And I'm saying
• 46:29
  Speaker 12: that's that's kind of okay. There's nothing that needs to
• 46:32
  Speaker 12: be fixed.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, definitely, but there definitely doesn't seem to be
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: a lot of joy in church except for black churches.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: Those look dude and dude.
• 46:41
  Speaker 12: I remember when we were kids, so we we my
• 46:42
  Speaker 12: dad was a basketball coach. We would move around a lot,
• 46:45
  Speaker 12: and we would always we would try to go to
• 46:47
  Speaker 12: a new church as soon as we got into town,
• 46:49
  Speaker 12: and we'd always like these old s white churches we
• 46:52
  Speaker 12: went to. We moved to Big Spring, Texas, and we
• 46:55
  Speaker 12: went into the first church and we we were a
• 46:57
  Speaker 12: little late, and we burst through the doors and it
• 46:59
  Speaker 12: was like a black church from like the Blues Brothers,
• 47:02
  Speaker 12: like guys who guys with tambourines and like you know,
• 47:05
  Speaker 12: like Kendrick's dad's there in the seventies and like literally
• 47:10
  Speaker 12: this this family of like giant white people walks it
• 47:14
  Speaker 12: and everybody turns and we just go and then we
• 47:16
  Speaker 12: just turned and we walked right back down.
• 47:20
  Speaker 10: My dad literally like grabbed this by the collar.
• 47:22
  Speaker 12: Like joints, like pulled us back out and then place. Yes,
• 47:31
  Speaker 12: we did have a black preacher once because they would
• 47:35
  Speaker 12: have like they would trade preachers. Yeah, yestreak guest speakers,
• 47:40
  Speaker 12: and we had this this black preacher come in and
• 47:42
  Speaker 12: I was like, I.
• 47:42
  Speaker 10: Was like this guy is like killing this ship right now,
• 47:45
  Speaker 10: like he's so good.
• 47:47
  Speaker 12: And then he started to like like he was really
• 47:48
  Speaker 12: killing him with all these white people, and then he
• 47:50
  Speaker 12: was like kind of feeling himself. So he then did
• 47:53
  Speaker 12: a he did just like a throwaway joke of like
• 47:56
  Speaker 12: he's like, well, you know, we ain't like that Catholic
• 47:57
  Speaker 12: church where they be you know, touching them little started bombing,
• 48:05
  Speaker 12: just completely lost the crowd.
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: Drake twelve, that's crazy. He's not like people. People don't
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: understand like we were kind of one degree separated from
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: like the rattlesnake stuff and the like the tent revival ship.
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: No dancing, no instruments, no clapping. We would have people
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: women in the question in church, no women were allowed to.
• 48:33
  Speaker 10: They got that.
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: The squirrel of blind squirrel, what is it? Uh? We
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: had like Christian scientists come in and they explained that
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: carbon dating wasn't real, which I don't maybe it is wrong.
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: I mean they got the vaccines wrong. And we say
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: that playground, have some fun playing right now, we're on
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: the jungles. Come on, we're having a good time.
• 49:04
  Speaker 12: I remember side this coming to church and explained to
• 49:06
  Speaker 12: us how the earth was scientifically six thousand.
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: Well yeah, they showed us a footprint of a dinosaur
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: footprint and then a human's footprint under it, and they're like,
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: how can that have happened if dinosaurs didn't live after people? Basically,
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: that's damn good. See, because in the Church of Christ,
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: the belief is if you date the genealogy of Jesus
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: all the way back to the creation of the Earth,
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: it's whole. This whole fucking thing is six thousand years old.
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: So that's why they reject all scientific theories. That's the Bible.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: That's like how the math of the Bible. That's correct.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: But however, Baptists, which were basically Church of Christ except
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: they were allowed instruments and they could dance. That was
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: like kind of the rivalry in town, weirdly, and they
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: thought that the God create took six days to create
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: the earth, but a day in God's time is like
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: millions of years because God like time doesn't mean anything
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: to God or whatever. And then so that's how they then.
• 50:08
  Speaker 12: And we would meet on the middle ground of well,
• 50:10
  Speaker 12: God and Jesus are white. One way, we had a
• 50:18
  Speaker 12: white I literally knew a guy once at church explained
• 50:21
  Speaker 12: to me that he was like, he's like, okay, Jesus
• 50:24
  Speaker 12: was in the Middle East. Everybody was brown in the
• 50:26
  Speaker 12: Middle East. Jesus was filled with the Holy Spirit. So
• 50:29
  Speaker 12: he was white.
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: Because he was filled with light.
• 50:33
  Speaker 12: Because he was filled with light, he was he was
• 50:35
  Speaker 12: white like the movie Powder Jesus walking around no hair
• 50:39
  Speaker 12: in albino.
• 50:40
  Speaker 10: Skin, healing people.
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: That's so funny.
• 50:43
  Speaker 10: Yeah, so we were exposed to like a lot of
• 50:45
  Speaker 10: retarded old dudes.
• 50:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, which is fun. Yeah, it was like a great
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: I mean, looking back, it's it's hilarious. And then since
• 50:53
  Speaker 3: since everything in the Church of Christ, everything's repressed, so
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: like I wasn't given a sex talk obviously you're never
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: allowed to touch yourself for masturbait whatsoever, which is just
• 51:02
  Speaker 3: a biological urge which we have to be born with.
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: So our race like keeps going like it.
• 51:08
  Speaker 10: You know, like our species.
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: Sorry, the human that's exactly what human? What was I saying?
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: What was I saying about? What was I talking about?
• 51:23
  Speaker 10: Jesus Christ?
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: Sorry, we've been doing all these shows. I forgot what
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: I was talking about.
• 51:26
  Speaker 11: You're saying, you're talking about the Church of Christ and
• 51:30
  Speaker 11: how we weren't allowed to masturbate.
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so yeah, we weren't allowed to So since
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: oh yeah, so since you're so everything is so repressed,
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: all me and Jays cared about were like, dude, fucking
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: the comic strips like Sunday the Sunday morning paper with
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: comic strips in it. Were like it was like crack
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: to us, Like who got to read dying?
• 51:55
  Speaker 12: I was like that, Dennis, he's such a mess.
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: Jay funny. The very beginning we were we were fucking cunts.
• 52:02
  Speaker 10: Yeah, we were cunts.
• 52:03
  Speaker 12: We were because I would I would suck turned about
• 52:08
  Speaker 12: and be like family circus is a piece of ship.
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: We were like Dunes Burry his hackets.
• 52:14
  Speaker 12: Of the political and I was like, I was like,
• 52:17
  Speaker 12: I'm kind of a far side guy.
• 52:19
  Speaker 10: Yeah, we were.
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: I would I would show jas like Garfield and be like,
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: this is a horrific joke, Like here's how it could
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: be funnier. Like we were like already interested. Yeah, we
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: were interested in an elevated form of communication that we
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: didn't we weren't exposed to, which is just like jokes. Yeah,
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: and so we were obsessed with that and then making
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: ourselves crack up in church is the fucking ultimate laugh.
• 52:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah, like you're yeah, I was. I was.
• 52:48
  Speaker 11: I think I've told the story on here before, but
• 52:50
  Speaker 11: I was. I had to go to church one time
• 52:51
  Speaker 11: with one of my friend's families because I slept over
• 52:53
  Speaker 11: at his house and we went and uh, they were
• 52:56
  Speaker 11: like super religious and uh and they it was like
• 53:01
  Speaker 11: the ten ten am Mass on Sunday, which was like
• 53:04
  Speaker 11: the children the family Mass. So they bring all the
• 53:07
  Speaker 11: little kids up front and uh, the priest like asked
• 53:11
  Speaker 11: like a question, and then there was a girl with
• 53:13
  Speaker 11: down syndrome in the front row. It was like this
• 53:16
  Speaker 11: question about like the Bible, and she just goes up.
• 53:18
  Speaker 11: She goes sometimes, my mommy lets me play with my toys.
• 53:21
  Speaker 5: And I could not contain myself. And I'm not even
• 53:25
  Speaker 5: with my family. I'm with these other kids following, like
• 53:29
  Speaker 5: his parents.
• 53:29
  Speaker 11: Are like stop laughing, and I'm And then you know
• 53:31
  Speaker 11: when you try and hold the laugh in, yeah, and
• 53:34
  Speaker 11: its out and it's like like some.
• 53:36
  Speaker 13: Crazy noise like vomit and it just shoots everywhere.
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, the ultimate Yeah.
• 53:45
  Speaker 12: It's We had one ben those about the time. But
• 53:48
  Speaker 12: we had one old guy go up because they would
• 53:50
  Speaker 12: do the sermon. You know exactly what I'm not to say,
• 53:53
  Speaker 12: we would do the sermon. They'd be like that's a
• 53:55
  Speaker 12: certain they'd be like, all right, if there's anybody who
• 53:58
  Speaker 12: wants to repent in their heart, they know their heart
• 54:00
  Speaker 12: full of sin, they want to come before the congregation, repent,
• 54:02
  Speaker 12: be baptized, be safe, come on down. And there was
• 54:05
  Speaker 12: like a fifty five fifty five year old man like mustache,
• 54:08
  Speaker 12: big glasses, owned like a machine shop in town, you know,
• 54:13
  Speaker 12: And he walked down and he walked.
• 54:15
  Speaker 10: To the boot him and he goes, he was bawling.
• 54:21
  Speaker 12: Hold and I've been addicted to Poornugger, Dude, I swear
• 54:30
  Speaker 12: he got like ten minutes like stop, but I can't.
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: I just pulling.
• 54:39
  Speaker 5: That damn bang everywhere the buck.
• 54:43
  Speaker 10: This is just so powerless, dude.
• 54:46
  Speaker 12: Me and men were just like punching each other in
• 54:48
  Speaker 12: like the fucking ribs.
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: Like going in silence. It's a grown it's a six
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: year old man turning red, crying about how he like
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: watches Yeah, and his.
• 54:57
  Speaker 12: Wife, his wife and kids are just sitting there like
• 54:59
  Speaker 12: that's right, that's right. Kids are there and then dude,
• 55:03
  Speaker 12: church ends and everybody comes up to them and they're
• 55:05
  Speaker 12: like stay strong.
• 55:06
  Speaker 10: But yeah, even while they're all fucking watching porn.
• 55:09
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it would never be the hypocrisy that I've heard
• 55:13
  Speaker 8: from the where you guys came from. It was so
• 55:16
  Speaker 8: funny because, yeah, the guys are like crying about porn
• 55:18
  Speaker 8: and you can't jack off, you can't curse. But then
• 55:20
  Speaker 8: if like a coach gets caught like raping a kid,
• 55:23
  Speaker 8: the whole town like will.
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: Kill the kid so the coach can be at state.
• 55:27
  Speaker 10: Yeah that did.
• 55:28
  Speaker 12: Yeah, we had like we had like one coach and
• 55:30
  Speaker 12: four kids, and the the whole town was like those
• 55:34
  Speaker 12: fucking slucks.
• 55:38
  Speaker 7: Coach.
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: They're seriously guys on the back of their cars like
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: we coach.
• 55:43
  Speaker 5: Oh dude that yeah.
• 55:45
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 55:45
  Speaker 12: People made bumper stickers and you would see them. It
• 55:47
  Speaker 12: was like a black square like it was b l
• 55:49
  Speaker 12: M and they had the coach's name on it.
• 55:52
  Speaker 5: Dude.
• 55:52
  Speaker 11: And my town growing up there was we we Like
• 55:55
  Speaker 11: when I was going into high school, they built a
• 55:57
  Speaker 11: new high school and like over the summer there was
• 55:59
  Speaker 11: like weight training or something for the football team, and
• 56:02
  Speaker 11: one of the gym teachers like beat the.
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: Ship out of a kid.
• 56:10
  Speaker 11: And then for the for like years straight, people would
• 56:13
  Speaker 11: be going around being like free coach, like with like
• 56:16
  Speaker 11: flags and ship and he was liked, beat the fuck
• 56:18
  Speaker 11: out of a child. And then and then if it
• 56:24
  Speaker 11: came out what he did, and they were like, he
• 56:25
  Speaker 11: was vandalizing the school, the new school, so that the
• 56:28
  Speaker 11: coach had.
• 56:29
  Speaker 5: To defend the new school.
• 56:30
  Speaker 11: But then it turned out he drew a penis on
• 56:33
  Speaker 11: the mirror in condensation, and that was like the vandalizing
• 56:37
  Speaker 11: that he was.
• 56:38
  Speaker 5: Like, we must protect this out. Yeah, this is our temple.
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: We had a nearby town where for about fifteen years,
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: the coaches were you would have to fuck the coach
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: to play with on the girls basketball team. And this
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: was a known thing.
• 56:55
  Speaker 10: But in the town it's like a blood and blood out.
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, decided. It's everything is if is your daughter good
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: enough to start on the basketball team, you know she
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: doesn't get sucked in? Yeah, yeah, but that's this isn't
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: The coaches wives knew about it, uh, and the assistant
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: coaches they all shared the girls, and girls would be
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: set on the bench and not play if they didn't
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: fuck the coaches. This was a known thing. And finally,
• 57:22
  Speaker 3: after fifteen years, I guess there was some sort of
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: like Edward Snowden type of like whistle lower and they
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: put a stop to it. And then those those people
• 57:31
  Speaker 3: just they went and got dropped somewhere else. They don't
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: even lose there, they just get fired and then they
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: go yeah, and.
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: Then the kids just get killed like the boeing whistle boy.
• 57:42
  Speaker 12: Yeah, there was so much weird shot we had, like
• 57:45
  Speaker 12: like eighth grade basketball.
• 57:47
  Speaker 10: We would like shower afterwards.
• 57:48
  Speaker 12: Dude, play again, and you know, he knows literally every
• 57:52
  Speaker 12: story from my life. We'd be showering because if you
• 57:55
  Speaker 12: didn't shower, you get called like a queer and people, yeah, yeah.
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: You don't show them your day.
• 58:00
  Speaker 11: Yeah, dude, I remember that. I remember going to swimming
• 58:03
  Speaker 11: lessons and having to shower. Yeah, I'm like nine, ye,
• 58:06
  Speaker 11: just sitting next to a dude who's got like a
• 58:07
  Speaker 11: fucking ten inch dick, fully grown man.
• 58:11
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 58:11
  Speaker 12: They would literally be like like if you skip showering,
• 58:13
  Speaker 12: they'd be like, you're fucking gay. And he'd go showering.
• 58:15
  Speaker 12: Guys would just like start pissing. I'm like, you're you
• 58:19
  Speaker 12: are fucking really gay. You were actually gay, dude, And
• 58:24
  Speaker 12: we would It was eighth grade. We were showering and
• 58:27
  Speaker 12: one of the kid's dads who was like this huge,
• 58:31
  Speaker 12: like looked like the like a like a like grown
• 58:34
  Speaker 12: up cartman.
• 58:35
  Speaker 10: He was just a fucking circle and he was so
• 58:38
  Speaker 10: so fat. He didn't he couldn't get belts.
• 58:39
  Speaker 12: We had those big truckers suspenders that are like stretchy,
• 58:44
  Speaker 12: like it looks like you're thrown you're wrapping a car
• 58:46
  Speaker 12: like something you're taking a sofa downtown. And he would
• 58:51
  Speaker 12: he would just he would open the door and he'd
• 58:53
  Speaker 12: just stand in the doorway and like stare into the
• 58:55
  Speaker 12: shower and he goes, he goes, Jeff, get ready, like
• 58:58
  Speaker 12: we need to get out of here. And then you
• 59:00
  Speaker 12: just stare at a shower and we right in for
• 59:04
  Speaker 12: like before his kid was ready, and we were like,
• 59:08
  Speaker 12: that's like weird, and we told our coach, and our
• 59:11
  Speaker 12: coach like had to tell him to not, you know,
• 59:14
  Speaker 12: do that.
• 59:14
  Speaker 10: And then the.
• 59:14
  Speaker 12: Practice afterwards, he's like he's like a bunch of little
• 59:17
  Speaker 12: sissy cry babes.
• 59:20
  Speaker 10: Y'all think everybody wants to fuck.
• 59:27
  Speaker 5: That is hilarious.
• 59:28
  Speaker 10: It is so fucked up.
• 59:30
  Speaker 3: I'm just beating off to the side of you.
• 59:33
  Speaker 10: Listen, I got molested, assistant coach.
• 59:38
  Speaker 12: We all did it, but your culture it's this damn.
• 59:47
  Speaker 10: Oh man, that's so funny. That was pretty fair. I mean,
• 59:49
  Speaker 10: Devin went to Catholic school, so we had like kind
• 59:52
  Speaker 10: of the same thing.
• 59:53
  Speaker 8: It was full of ship though, like I mean I
• 59:56
  Speaker 8: think a kid, one kid got like like touched.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: You just got kissed on the mouth. At our Catholic school.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: It was like, yeah, it's like a deacon was like
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: kissing boys on the mouth. But like it wasn't anything
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: beyond kissing on the mouth.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 10: I don't think just first base.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 5: Which is maybe worse. That's something that I think at least.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 11: If you got fucked I would be like, yeah, I
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 11: got molested and rather than like to this day, I
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 11: would be like why did he kiss?
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: That's make me come.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 12: That was with the Michael Jackson doc when they were
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 12: like Michael Jackson was like eating their ass and like
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 12: that's so much worse.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 13: Oh yeah, dude, I'm like, dude, just fuck up.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 5: What the hell?
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 10: That's that's what you know? You're really a podophile? Yeah yeah, yeah, god.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 5: Today having that, dude.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think a kid at.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 8: A like a retreat because they it was like more
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 8: of a just like military style Catholic school like they
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 8: would like they'd call kids like bags, like you know,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 8: treat you like ship kind of just very alpha. It
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 8: was a school and it wasn't that much about the
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 8: church really, like we had to go to Mass every
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 8: month and ship and pray before every class.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: But one kid on like they would take us on
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: like these retreats.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 8: You go up to the mountains and like sleep in
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 8: bunk beds and like you know, hey, they go, hey,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 8: if you can catch one tonight, they're all yours. So
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 8: like one kid said, he woke up and a priest
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 8: was like walking. They were a Capuchin monks too, so
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 8: they looked like the Vinci Code guys.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: They had the hoods on and everything.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 8: Wait more eerie, just like a Boston you know, molester.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 8: He woke up and his dick was wet and out
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 8: of his pants and he saw a priest just like.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 3: The most fucked up part of it was we all
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 3: just laughed.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 8: We found out about it and called him like, we
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 8: were just going like, hey, yeah, that's rape.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 3: Johnson the kid, we know what he cared. We were
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: all assholes. Yeah, yeah, for all of us, and probably
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: not for him. Not for him.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 5: No, he was pretty good.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 3: Kid, was asking for you attract in life? Who you are?
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 3: The kid? It wasn't pedophile.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 12: He was that would suck dude to get molested, To
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 12: get molested, Yeah, but like be yet like summer camp
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 12: and tell your friends and they're all like, damn, do
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 12: that blows.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 5: Su Yeah?
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 3: This thing was the kid, wasn't He was like annoying,
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 3: like a goodie two shoes. Oh yeah, so no one
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: liked him already.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 10: Yeah he deserved that.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, make us do our homework. What's what's work?
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 5: You don't father?
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: We forgot to molest us. Damn I hate that guy.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we had a the worst we had was we
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 5: had a tea.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 11: We had a gym teacher who was fully raping kids,
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 11: which that didn't get uncovered until I graduated high school.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 11: But it was crazy because he was my JV golf coach,
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 11: and JV golf was like a joke, so he would
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 11: just drive us to all the games. So we like,
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 11: I like went out to dinner with this dude, like
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 11: with like two other kids my age, like multiple times.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 11: And then like a year later they were like, yeah,
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 11: he was fucking kids.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 10: Was he really trying to like whine and dining?
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 5: I think he brought us We got some big ass burgers.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, nice.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 5: It was crazy.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 8: I had a biology teacher in high school that hated
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 8: him so much, and uh, after I graduated, I found
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 8: out that he got h First off, the rumor was
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 8: that he killed somebody in the operating he left a
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 8: fucking saw like outside them or something, and then everyone
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 8: why he became a teacher, And then uh, after I graduated,
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 8: I found out that he got fired because he was
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 8: trying to order an escort to the class after he
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 8: was like drinking. They caught him like drinking and on
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 8: the computer had all these like escort listings, and he
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 8: had tried to get a hooker to come right to
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 8: the class.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 3: The kids.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 10: Fucking her on the frog.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 11: Teachers drinking in class would always that would always be
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 11: a funny one.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 5: They would get caught with that.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 11: Yeah, because it's just hilarious to imagine a teacher just
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 11: blacked out at eight a m.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 5: And like, all right, let's go over the homework assignments
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 5: for today.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 10: They're just face necessary for the job.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 11: Yeah, it's probably a fucking blast from their perspective.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 3: It's probably great.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's in class.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 3: It's really romantic.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 5: It's almost like a cop you know.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 10: It's like a bad lieutenant situation. Yeah.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: I had this.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 8: I knew this kid that his family somehow owned like
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 8: Don Francisco Coffee, which which was McDonald's coffee, and they
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 8: would supply all the coffee to the school. And so
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 8: me and this kid thought would be funny if we
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 8: started putting like, like, uh, if we talked to the
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 8: kid whose family runs the coffee, we tell them to start
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 8: putting like like a lot like cocaine into the coffee.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 5: Okay, So like watch them.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 8: Get really amped over the course of like six seven months,
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 8: and then cut them off cold part.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 10: She just like flipped the.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 3: Classic. It's not fucking we never did. That's amazing, are you?
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: Are you nice? And golf too now? I literally just
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: started playing when we made those videos. I've never I
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 3: never seen. Francis is good and so is Harry.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 11: Yeah you played in high school. I played in high school. Yeah,
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 11: which is like people always act like it was.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 3: No, you could break ninety. I've seen your swaying.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 11: Yeah, I could break ninety. I don't know if I
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 11: could break it now, I could probably not.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 5: I don't think I think the I think the best
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 5: I ever shot was like low eighties.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: But what your handcuffs me and Jason around scratch if
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 3: we're if we're actually practicing when.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 12: We were at one point, I was like after college
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 12: when I was just like, well, I don't know, I'm,
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 12: you know, gonna get an oil field job and probably
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 12: kill myself. At thirty, I was like, because I was
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 12: working in my family moved to Midland, Texas I graduated.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 12: I didn't have a job because I didn't do anything
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 12: or try, and so I moved to Midland. I was like,
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 12: I wanted to do comedy, but I should probably just
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 12: get an oil field job. Because they were like booming,
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 12: and then I got it was just so funny because
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 12: everybody moved to Midland during the oil boom. Yeah, and
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 12: they were getting jobs where they're making like one hundred
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 12: and twenty grand a year.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, to drive oil trucks. But people were dying and
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 3: drove people were gett ripped apart by machines.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 12: It's a very dew we liter Like when I was
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 12: living at my parents' house, there was like these huge
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 12: like an tennis they would run for like the oil
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 12: there so they get the lestersting in power and they
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 12: would to repair those.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 10: They would just have two dudes on.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 12: A helicopter hanging like with welding torches and shit, and
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 12: they would just literally just flying from tower to tower.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: And they started like spiraling with the horde.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 10: Literally.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 12: What happened was that like this helicopter pilot, who I'm
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 12: sure was smoking crank, flew too low and he flew
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 12: them both directly into a power line and they just
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 12: they just like burned up and the rope broke and
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 12: they fell like a hundred feet.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 3: It's like dukes of hazard style dash like the good
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 3: old boys. Just the hell.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 12: Yeah, it's like it's like Looney Tunes people a getting
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 12: crushed with pianos and ship.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 11: Have you ever seen those videos of the people getting
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 11: rescued from like like like a boat sinks or something
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 11: and they're getting brought up on like they're in.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 5: The stretcher on the helicopter and they start spinning.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 12: The one one of the hour.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 10: The one that was the funniest thing I've ever seen,
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 10: was the lady.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 12: She's like eight and hiking, yeah, and they had to
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 12: go rescue her, and it's as she's she's being looked
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 12: at up you just see her.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 10: Literally like two hundred times per minute. It's just like,
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 10: this is so fucking funny. She's so fucking scrambling.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 3: Her brain's like eggs like whisky real quick.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 12: It's either it depends on where she's facing, like if
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 12: her head's facing like in two, blood's rushing to her
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 12: feet and she's just dying from no oxygen.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 10: But so I was anyway, So I was.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 11: The most sudden, like because the first couple of spins
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 11: you're probably like, oh fuck yeah, and then it's just
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 11: out of control so fast.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 12: By the way, you're like bit by a rattlesnack. Both
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 12: your legs broken. So yeah, I was so that like
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 12: that was the environment I was gonna go work in.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 12: And I got an oil field job and I drove
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 12: the first day. It was like we started at six
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 12: am and I got there and I saw like literally
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 12: guy who was like covered in shit and dirt and
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 12: missing a finger. And he walked up and he like
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 12: packed a full fucking lip of Copenhagen and then lit
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 12: a marble red at holy six am in the morning
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 12: and he's like he's like, all right, welcome to the business, kid.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 12: And I went into the office. I was like fucking
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 12: having a panic attack. And the guy's like, where are
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 12: your boots? I was like I didn't know I need those.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 12: He's like, go home, you'll start tomorrow. Get some you know,
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 12: metal stilte still toe boots. And I drove home. I
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 12: had a complete panic attack. I was like I can't,
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 12: this can't, this cannot be my life. And I like
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 12: quit and like moved to like Austin like the next
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 12: week and started doing stand up.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 10: I don't know where I was going with that originally.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 3: Oh I don't know either. Actually midday night, oh about golf,
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 3: but you're going to talk about Sorry, sorry, when.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 12: I was when I was so I when I was
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 12: in Midland waiting to get that job, I played every
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 12: day and I broke.
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 3: When you play in West Texas, you become a pretty
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 3: good player because the wind's blown all the time. You
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 3: need to hit it really solid. You need ball first contact.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 3: You don't have fresh green grass to hit off of
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 3: getting off of di.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 12: I broke seventy once and I literally like, I shot
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 12: a sixty.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: Eight and like forty mile prior win, by the way on,
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 3: that's impressive.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 12: And I was and I was literally like, well, I'm
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 12: never going to break sixty, so why would I ever
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 12: do this again.
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 5: In my life?
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 12: And I went like a couple more times and it
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 12: was so impressive. My dad had never broken seventy.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's such a competitive he's.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 12: Such a competitive motherfucker that like it was like a
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 12: great day for me. I was like so happy because
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 12: I played in high school. And he was like he's like, no, no,
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 12: that's great, that's really great for you. And then he
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 12: was like, you know, I never shot in the sixties,
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 12: Like I know you did, but I haven't literally saying that,
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 12: And it was so impressive. The next day through sheer
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 12: tyranny of well he shot I shot sixty eight. He
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 12: shot a sixty seven the very.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 5: Next damn you, dude.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 12: It was like I was like, nemver one, you're such
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 12: a cocksucker, but I respect the hell out of you
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 12: right now.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 10: Yeah, just for like Larry Bird pulling yes out.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 5: He probably didn't sleep for a minute that night.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 11: Like breaking down the course going over three am T time.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 3: Dude, my dad beat me. Two weeks ago. I was
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 3: back in Dallas and I was playing his fucking home
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 3: club that he plays every day, and I'm playing with
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 3: his clubs. Luckily has an extra stuff shaft and his driver,
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 3: so I was able to use it. He he shot
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 3: even I shot one over Yeah, and he can't shut
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: the fuck up, dude. He was like, yeah, he keeps
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 3: like he keeps joking about it, but bringing it up
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 3: for a days. I'm like, shot the fuck up. It's
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 3: your club. There's like blind shots and stuff. I don't
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 3: know where to hit it in the fairway. And my
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 3: dad's the type of guy, by the way, he's such
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 3: a cocksacker. I love him to death. But like in
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 3: like the state championship and ship, I'm like tied for
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 3: second with nine holes to play. Yeah, and my dad
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 3: and Jace would do this too, because Just is two
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 3: years older than me. But like he'd be in regionals
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 3: or state or whatever.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 12: I was a mental case. I was a real basket
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 12: case as a kid. Yeah, just I had like anic
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 12: attacks all time. I didn't know like what they were.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 12: Oh yeah, but so I would then when it could
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 12: always play well, I'd play well, and then we get
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 12: to the terminal, I would just start freaking out.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 10: Yeah sorry anyway, yeah.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So but it's so funny because Jace was like, Dad,
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 3: you're not allowed to watch me play golf, Like you're
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 3: too nervous. He'd be wandering, so you'd be you'd be
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 3: like a whole twelve, likekay, I'm like like one over,
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 3: like I'm going to hold this together.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 10: You know.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 3: We got a couple of par five's coming up, like good,
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 3: stay in the pocket. And then like you would just
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 3: see like this this this guy with like red in
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 3: a red jumpsuit. Ye, like a six foot five guy
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 3: walking like out of the trees, and you're like fuck,
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 3: it'd be waiting on the tea boxy come up and
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 3: be like I went up there. He's like you don't
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 3: want to hit it left, do you not? Whatever you do,
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 3: don't think about hitting it left when you're on the
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 3: tea box, all right, good luck.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 10: Son, and then you hit it left. He's like I
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 10: just said not.
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 3: It's literally the remember an inception, like, don't think about
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 3: pink elephants. Yeah, it's like that's all you can fucking
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 3: think about, like I was and thinking of Yeah, he
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 3: fucking do that constantly. Yeah, and your round.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 11: Yeah, parents in sports is hilarious. It's how evolved they get.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 5: The dude.
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 11: What I used to play hockey when I was young,
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 11: and my dad would my dad would like he'd come
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 11: to every game and ship and he would sit like,
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 11: you're on the bench, and my dad would just be
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 11: directly across from me, just just sitting.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 5: There like this, just staring right at me.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 11: And he would bring my older sister and he would
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 11: have my older sister walk around the entire rink to
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 11: the bench and she'd go. She'd be like, Dad says,
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 11: you got to start playing better. And then I'd like
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 11: turn and look and my dad would be, what do.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 12: You do the thing like on the drive homework, He's like, listen,
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 12: if you don't want to do this.
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 5: Anymore, dude.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 11: What what happened was we would sit in silence for
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 11: like he'd have like the radio on, and we would
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 11: because when you play hockey when you're young, it's hard
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 11: to get it's hard for them to rent ice time.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 11: So you'd be like, you'd have a game him at
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 11: six in the morning, that's like three hours away. And
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 11: then we would be like halfway through the drive and
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 11: he'd turn off the radio and he'd be like, so,
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 11: how do you think you played today?
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 3: I just found Jayson. I don't know if you know this.
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 3: I just found this out. You told me very recently
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 3: your dad was driving you all across the country for
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 3: like chess tournaments or something. What was it? Would then
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 3: you think you're gonna be a chess like mass.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 8: Everything I showed any promise that he tried to like
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 8: reatize and turn it into like turn me into like
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 8: you know, his like prodigy, and I.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 3: Would be like, this sucks. I just started playing chess
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 3: for fun. I really liked it.
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 8: I enjoyed it, and I had like a tea like
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 8: he got me like a Russian teacher.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and I would have to play with this like.
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 8: Russian lady all the time, and then all of a sudden,
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 8: I'm in like we're going like.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 3: Three hours away to like Marriott Lobbies.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 10: And I'm like.
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 8: Russian prodigies and I'm like I have the timer and
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 8: I'm like, ah, like people are fucking with me. I
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 8: had to give it up, and he was like all
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 8: disappointed in me. He would just ruin anything you loved.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 8: He would take basketball like he didn't know about sports.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 8: I got obsessed with like the legs. Yeah, yeah, I
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 8: got really into basketball on my own, and then he
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 8: like I wanted to play, so then he would come
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 8: to games. He didn't really know anything, but he was
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 8: like he's like a rageful maniac that just like has
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 8: like you know, reptile brain. So he just goes like
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 8: my you know, he just sees that the score were behind,
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 8: so he's losing his mind. He'd like scream at like
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 8: other kids on my team.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 5: Oh that's crazy, like Jake La.
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 8: Just losing his mind, like what the fuck, what the
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 8: fuck are you doing?
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 5: So somebody else's child so fun, It was.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 3: So embarrassing, so embarrassing.
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 8: And then he would do the thing where it's like
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 8: if I had a bad game, whatever the fuck that
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 8: meant to him.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 3: He would on like the drives. He would just go like,
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 3: what the fuck was that?
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 8: But I'm like, you don't even know basketball, You fucking
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 8: l a loser.
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 3: You can't even throw athletics. Yeah, aletic it's dude. I
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 3: hate that I have to do this, but I'm I'm
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 3: a fun that I have to catch it.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 10: You've done like four shows in like the past like
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 10: a few days.
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 14: You guys are all though, you guys are crushing it.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 14: I mean I'm just such a big fan of your
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 14: guys show, Like I listened to all the I mean, Devin,
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 14: I've been sharing your ship since like the first time
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 14: I ever saw all.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 3: Those videos that you've ever done.
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 12: So yeah, you're really one of the first places, like
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 12: ever like fucked with our show at all.
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 3: Dude, I was so excited when I even heard that
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 3: it was like happening.
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 14: I'm just like in phrases too, was like I'm so
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 14: pissed that I'm not here because he's a massive you
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 14: guys as well, Oh wow, So yeah, you guys are,
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 14: I mean crushing it like you guys.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 5: Are just is your Guys tour still going.
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we're gonna do the DC and Philly and then
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 3: we're we're done.
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 10: When does this come out? Probably Thursday. We'll be done
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 10: with the shows by then.
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 3: Well, no, Philly is that night, I guess. So if
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 3: you hear this, come see Philly at the Helium. Well, yeah,
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 3: we can put it out tomorrow, Okay, Yeah, then DC
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 3: on Wednesday at the Arlington Draft House, and then Thursday
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 3: we're gonna be in affiliate helium I think is the club.
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Philly Helium. Yeah, it's really fun.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 11: Cool, that's what everybody's a great I feel Philly Helium.
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 11: When you do a weekend there, it's like going to
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 11: Vegas for a weekend.
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 10: You're just there.
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 5: You're there twenty four hours a day.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 11: The staff stays there until like seven am, just getting literated.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 3: We we're probably gonna have a rainy and butterly on.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 3: I mean we haven't asked them yet, but they'll be there.
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 5: Awesome. I would Living Party.
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 3: Dot Life for tickets and then patroon dot com slash
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 3: Lemon Party and listen to.
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 10: Yeah were.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 3: By the way. I looked at us at one point
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 3: in the podcast, I'm like, we're so good. I'm wearing
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 3: a Stuff Island shirt. You're wearing a Limon party hoodie
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 3: and Jason's wear and wearing stuff.
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 3: Today I was like, I can't wear it, Like yeah,
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 3: smirch to.
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 11: The I'm gonna be in Sacramento this weekend, a lot
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 11: of tickets left. Pretty much every ticket is left, so
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 11: please come to that.
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 5: Thank you. We'll see you guys at some point soon.
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you.
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 5: Oh that was awesome.