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Would You Move Into A Woman's House If She Had Better Accommodation? · DidiLawren

• 0:03
  Hello and welcome back to an episode of Bantu Lorenzi.
• 0:06
  How are you all doing if you're doing great for today's episode,
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  I want to ask the question, would you move into your wife's
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  house? We're not talking about
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  girlfriend. We're talking about you met
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  somebody. You proposed to that person.
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  You knew they have a house better than yours or a flat
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  better than yours or a rented house that that is better than
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  yours. But you still want her to marry
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  this person. And then after the marriage,
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  you're telling that person, now you're my wife.
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  Now you're under me. Instead of moving into, let's
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  say one bedroom or a three bedroom, you decide to move.
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  Move her into your face me. I face you house because you are
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  the man. Is he proper?
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  Would you do it now? This conversation started when
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  somebody posted online that it is wrong for a man to move into
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  a woman's house because the women grow wings and that
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  conversation has been blowing up.
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  This is not the first time we we are seeing such thing.
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  In fact, there was this story that went viral some years ago
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  where a lady who met a guy, he proposed, they started planning
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  their wedding and then just days before the wedding, he found out
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  or he already knew that she had properties, she had landed
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  properties, she has houses, I think it was in Port Arcos.
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  So she's working in one of those oil companies making money and,
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  you know, making wise investment.
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  So he now the wedding was fixed. It was like days to the wedding.
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  He now said that she should transfer every property that she
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  has to his name before he can marry her because he will not
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  feel like a man if he is marrying her and all these
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  properties are in her name. That went viral.
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  He became a man and a woman conversation.
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  Some men says yes, that is right.
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  You know if you ask men who don't have sisters because at
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  the end of the day you have to look at this in two ways.
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  If your sister, you're from a family where everybody's OK,
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  everybody's doing well, or maybe everybody's not OK, but your
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  sister has done well for herself.
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  She had made money. She, she made wise investments,
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  but both properties and then she's getting married.
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  And then the husband is saying that maybe the husband, she's
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  just getting married to be married, though they are not
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  equally yoked financially. And then the husband is saying
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  that everything that she has to be should be transferred to him
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  before that marriage can go on. You as a man, how would you feel
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  or you as a father, how would that make you feel?
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  Would you be OK for your child, for your sister, for your
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  cousin, for your niece, for your daughter to transfer everything
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  that she has to this man before? If like before he said before
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  the marriage, some women said lie, lie, they're not going to
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  do it that the marriage is going to be called off because why
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  would a man demand such from a woman?
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  You don't know how far she walked to get what?
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  Get what she got. So are you marrying her for the
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  properties or are you marrying her for real?
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  That was a very big conversation.
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  Many people or many women who were on her side, they call them
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  feminists. And the guys were like, This is
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  why we don't even marry rich women now.
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  It is not even about properties. It's about house accommodation.
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  If you are getting married to somebody who you know because
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  you've dated this person, you can't tell me you're marrying
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  somebody you've not been to their house.
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  That is not even possible. You know, once when you're
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  dating, you knew you must have had conversation.
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  I think the problem is people don't even talk before getting
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  married or people avoid setting conversations.
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  I remember what I was telling somebody that if, listen, if I'm
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  going to have, if, if you come to me and say you want to marry
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  me, listen, we're going to do crazy check.
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  Like we're going to run all the possible cheques that we can run
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  for you. And you also do the same for me.
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  Because at the end of the day, marriage is partnership.
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  Marriage is, is a business venture.
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  Whether you like it or not, it is.
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  So if you've dated that person, you know what they have, you
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  know where they live, you still decided to go ahead and marry
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  that person. And then you're telling them
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  maybe she's living in a one bedroom house.
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  You are living in a face me, I face you one room.
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  Would you expect her to leave the one bedroom house or the one
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  bedroom flat and move into the face me I face you?
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  Or are you happy to move into the one bedroom house or one
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  bedroom flat and then you guys build together?
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  Or would you say, OK, before the marriage?
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  Can we look for a mutual place? Because This is why I say people
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  don't have conversations. If you're not comfortable moving
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  into her house, how about have that conversation in the UKI
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  live in the UK. Let me give you examples.
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  You have women or ladies or girls who have worked hard for
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  themselves. They bought houses or bought a
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  house just to be on the property ladder for investment, you know,
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  and then they need this guy who because most Nigerian men, they
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  want their investment to be in Nigeria.
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  So most of them don't have houses here.
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  They really, you see one or two married people who have houses
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  and it is the woman that we even bring most times we bring the
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  deposit for those houses because they want to have a house.
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  You know, women, you're thinking kids, children, where the
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  children are going to grow up. You're thinking all these
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  things. The man is just thinking what do
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  I need to do back home to make sure my people see that I am
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  successful? OK, So what happens is you see
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  these women with houses and the man is telling you I can't move
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  into your house. You have to sell your house
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  before we get married or some of the men will not even say it.
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  But they will not marry these women.
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  They would rather stay in their one room house.
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  Go get somebody from Nigeria who still come and be like you're
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  living in A1 room and then it becomes a problem and then see
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  finish starts because when they go back, they are going back as
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  kings. You know, they are taking loans,
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  renting cars, doing all these things, changing pounds to naira
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  bowling maximum they're staying one or two weeks so they they
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  can ball for, for, for that duration.
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  And then they come back, they're taking extra shifts to make sure
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  that they pay all these things. The women there, they don't know
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  their living situations. Then when they come here and
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  they see what is going on, most times they clash.
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  So as a man, would you be comfortable to move into a
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  woman's house knowing that you know this is her?
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  Because I think that's for me, that is even a silly question.
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  You are choosing to marry somebody.
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  OK, There's a reason why you have chosen to marry that
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  person. If you are choosing to marry
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  wrong, then that question will come up like for you to marry,
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  want to marry somebody, It is something that you know that you
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  guys are going to merge finances together, you're going to merge
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  expenses together, you're going to merge debt together.
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  So there has to be that conversation.
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  If you're saying that you're not happy moving into a house and
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  you guys have to, I don't even that question does not even make
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  sense to me, but I am still going to ask that question.
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  Would you be happy to move into a woman's house, A wife,
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  somebody that you want to marry? Not a girlfriend, not somebody
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  you're dating, not somebody you're sleeping with, somebody
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  that you had actually proposed to.
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  They accepted your proposal, you're getting married, and then
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  you're saying that you're not going to move into a house
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  because it is a woman's house or because she's a woman who bought
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  the house, so she's not going to respect you because she bought a
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  house. Does that make sense?
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  Why are you getting Marita in the 1st place if you're
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  intimidated, if there's that barrier of saying, you know, I,
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  I because at the end of the day, her salary is not going to
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  change. She, she, she, she, if she
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  bought one, she can buy another one.
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  You can, you can you do the same?
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  Now these same men don't have problems with let's say man in
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  Nigeria. I have a couple of people who
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  had come back to who have houses here.
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  They've come back to Nigeria. They've married.
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  They marry, you know, Nigerian men bring them here.
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  And still that ego, you know, you put a cup here, you say,
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  honey, don't put this cup here, take it to or they put the cup
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  in the sink. You say, honey, just wash the
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  cup. You know, you don't have to
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  leave it in the sink or just put it in the dishwasher.
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  Hey, is it because it is your house?
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  Is it because you bought this house?
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  Nigerian men have problems. But then when they marry you,
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  they don't say those things or they don't say it.
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  They will happily wash the plates, clean the house, clean
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  the toilet, pull, go to. They will do those things.
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  They are they will have factory resets when they are getting
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  married to, to, to somebody else.
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  But because they think we Nigerians or Nigerian women,
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  we've been brought up to literally worship some men, we
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  should take all those things. Let me know what you think.
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  As a lady, would you be willing to sell up a property or sign
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  off your property to your husband just for peace to reign?
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  Or as a man, would you refuse to marry somebody because that
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  person has a property or is living better than you?
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  Or if they are not willing to downgrade their lifestyle to fit
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  into your lifestyle then you're not going to marry them?
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  Are we upgrading or down grading?
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  This is why I say this question. So it just doesn't make sense to
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  me. Do you want to upgrade or do you
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  want to downgrade should be the question that you know you
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  should be asking yourself. But I have learned that some
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  people are very happy to suffer. Hey, some people are very happy
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  to suffer. So those ones that are happy to
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  suffer, look for your suffering needs and continue and leave
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  this, the ones that want to actually be very successful
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  life, leave them alone. You don't have to come and
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  traumatise somebody's daughter, telling her sell off your house
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  or sign off your properties to me if you want me to to be your
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  husband. And what are you bringing to the
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  table? What exactly are you bringing to
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  the table? She's going to bring all those
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  properties. She's going to bring her womb,
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  she's going to cook, she's going to clean, she's going to give
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  birth. She's going to take care of the
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  children. She's going to run the home.
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  She's still going to bring money.
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  What is the man bringing? And people want to to be asking
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  why this generation of women don't want to get married or why
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  the divorce rate is high. We are not going to take what
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  our mothers do. Clockets, let me know what you
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  think. Thank you very much for watching
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  today's episode. Please like, like, like and
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  share. Thank you very much for
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  watching. Bye bye.