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The value of trust during your family law case · Family Law Talk

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  Speaker 1: Welcome to Familylaw Talk. Familylaw Talk presented by Kirk Stangy
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  of Stangy Law Firm PC. Stangy Law Firm is a
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  multi state family law firm. Now here's your host, Kirk Stangy.
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  Speaker 2: Welcome to Family Law Talk. We have an interesting topic today.
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  The topic is the value of trust during your family
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  law case. And this episode today is based on an
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  article on our blog Familylawheadquarters dot com dated September twelfth,
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  twenty fifteen, and the title of the article is why
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  having faith can pay off for a FAMI lag client. So,
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  as a follow up to the episode today, go on
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  over to Familawheadquarters dot com and read this article for
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  more information on this topic. But let's go ahead and
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  jump on in. The reality is that FAMI law litigation
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  could be gut wrenching for those going through it. A
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  friend of going through it, it can in many ways
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  feel like their whole life is on pause. It can
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  often feel like their whole life is even hanging in
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  the balance, which could be very tough for an individual.
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  Individuals going through divorce or family all matters can have
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  all kinds of worries and anxiety. The worries and anxiety
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  can revolve around child custing in terms of how it's
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  going to work, when they're going to get their kids,
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  how decisions are going to be made. They may be
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  worried about the finances in terms of the outcome of
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  the case, So how is property and debt going to
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  be divided, how are bills going to be paid, and
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  these kinds of things. Individuals can also be worried about
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  child support, and it doesn't matter if they're the party
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  paying child support or the party receiving child support. They
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  can be worried about whether it's going to be too
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  much and they're not going to be able to afford it,
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  or whether what they gets not enough and they're not
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  going to have the income or the revenue to meet
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  the kids need. Some individuals are worried about spousal maintenance
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  also called alimony, so and again this could come down
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  to either end of the spectrum. If it's an individual
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  who's going to have to pay, they might be worried
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  about how they're going to be able to afford this
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  when they have all these other expenses that they have
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  on the flip end. An individual who's receiving spousal maintenance
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  might be worried about is this going to be enough?
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  Am I going to be able to find a place
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  to live and meet my needs with the spousal maintenance
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  that I'm receiving. And obviously a lot of individuals can
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  be overwhelmed at the thought of attorney fees as well.
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  For most individuals when they contemplate attorney fees in these
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  kinds of cases, this can be troublesome for them to
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  think about how they're going to be able to afford
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  it all right, Some parties are also not able to
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  resolve their case in mediation or collaborative law, even though
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  they want to. This is definitely a good option to
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  consider for a lot of individuals who want the case
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  to end as quickly as possible. They want to be
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  able to move on with their life. But the reality
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  is is that settling in mediation or collaborative law isn't
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  always easy, particularly out of the gates where parties are
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  still sort of emotionally charged up about the initiation of
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  the case. And one of the other things lots of
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  individuals really obsess over is the results of the case.
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  So they might think, you know, look, I want X,
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  Y or Z result to happen and it could be
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  about property and debt, division, could be child custody, child supports,
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  sponsor maintenance. But there might be specific results that they're
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  really attached to and they really feel as if they need.
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  But their concern is this going to happen and is
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  this going to happen quickly? Because a lot of individuals
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  just want the pain and the expense of these kinds
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  of cases to end as quickly as possible. And so
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  what a lot of individuals can do is just sort
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  of spin thinking about these things. Think about when you're
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  on a computer and you hit a button two do
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  something and you see the hourglass kind of spin it right,
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  the computer's thinking. A lot of individuals figuratively do this
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  about their case, worried about the outcome, the expenses, and
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  they're just thinking and they're just sort of spinning and
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  they feel kind of stuck, like when the computer's stuck
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  trying to do something and it's not moving quickly. Okay,
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  this is common for anybody going through divorce or FAMI
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  law matter. But one of the most important things an
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  individual can do, if they're able to sort of reframe
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  this whole situation, is to have faith, to have trust
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  that the case is going to work out. They might
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  not understand how exactly it's going to work out. But
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  if an individual can have faith and trust that no
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  matter what the outcome is, they're going to move on
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  with their life, it's going to work out. They're going
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  to figure out a way to make it work. For
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  a lot of individuals, this can make this process a
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  lot better. It can cause them less stress, anxiety worrying
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  about these things. Okay, So for most individuals going through
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  these kinds of cases, this is this is difficult. Okay.
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  Some individuals might stress more than others. Some individuals might
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  be in more of a zend place where they just
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  have faith and trust that's going to work out. But
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  I'll tell you if anybody going through these cases, this
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  is going to test anybody's patients. This would test anybody's
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  faith and trust, and certainly a divorce or family law
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  case you know, can bring out negative emotions and negative
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  mindsets that an individual ordinarily wouldn't have. Okay, So look,
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  what individuals need to try to do is want hire
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  an attorney who they trust, Hire an attorney who they're
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  comfortable with, Hire an attorney who they feel like has
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  their back. And they need to let the process play out.
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  Understand that it's probably going to take longer than they want.
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  It might even be more expensive than they want it
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  to be. And I hate to say that, but where
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  lawyers bill hourly on these kinds of cases, these cases
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  can be expensive. And the other thing individuals have to
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  understand is that with fifty percent divorce rates and then
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  forty percent out of wedlock birth rates in the country,
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  and all these cases ending up in the family court system,
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  court dockets are often backed up and there are often
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  not enough judges to hear these cases. Some individuals have
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  to understand that these cases can take months, sometimes many months,
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  sometimes more than a year, but they just have to
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  let it play out. And if they have it that
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  mindset that it's going to work out and they let
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  it play out, from my experience, what individuals then do
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  is they have more peace while going through the process.
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  They also behave in a way that is more positive,
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  that is more constructive, and this ultimately looks much better
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  to most family court judges are most guarding at items
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  is opposed to somebody who's worried and stressed and anxious.
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  This is where individuals could make mistakes in family law
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  cases by lashing out, by doing things that paint them
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  in a negative light. And so just having this faith
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  in this positive mindset can be very important for individuals
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  who are going through these processes. Otherwise, what individuals can
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  do is they can be consumed by the what ifs.
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  You know, what of this and what of that? And
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  if individuals get consumed by the what ifs, this is
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  where individuals can just sort of torture themselves emotionally. And
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  this obviously isn't a good thing in terms of somebody's
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  psychological mindset. And again it can cause individual to make
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  some mistakes in a case that paint them in a
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  bad light. Okay, for individuals who were kind of thinking
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  about this and contemplating this, and they think, well, how
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  do I put myself in a positive place, a place
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  of faith, a place of trust when going through these
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  kinds of cases. Let me give you some tips. Obviously
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  these tips are outside the article, by the way, and
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  this is going to be different for everybody, right, so
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  everybody's going to do this a little bit different. But
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  some good things individuals can do in many respects might
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  be see a counselor seeing a counselor who's positive, who's upbeat,
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  who helps put you in a good mindset can be
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  very vital and then can help you work through the
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  stresses and the anxiety that you might have. I think
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  that's definitely a positive thing. I think watching and listening
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  to positive things can be very important. Could be podcasts,
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  could be videos, it could be things on TV. Always
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  feeding yourself with positivity can be an important thing. Reading
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  can be a good thing. Reading books that are positive
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  and upbeat. That can be great in terms of feeding
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  your brain on a regular basis. Some individuals find a
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  lot of peace through exercise. You know, exercise, there's a
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  lot of research that shows can release, you know, good
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  positive energy within your body, which can be helpful. Other
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  individuals find peace through like meditation, through prayer, through spirituality
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  and these kinds of things. Obviously this is going to
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  be look, you know, something that looks different to other individuals,
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  But that's definitely something to think about, and that just
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  surrounding yourself with positive and upbeat people can be a
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  very good thing. Be careful about surrounding yourself with people
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  who fan flames, people who are negative, people that are angry,
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  typically through divorce, or FAMI law matter. This isn't what
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  you want around you. You want people that make you
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  feel better, that keep your faith up, that keep your
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  trust up, and keep you in a good psychological mindset. Okay,
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  so that's the topic today. Definitely an interesting topic and
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  one I wanted to cover. Is a follow up to
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  the episode today. Going over to Family Lawheadquarters dot com,
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  read the article dated September twelfth, twenty fifteen, titled why
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  having faith can pay off or a family law client.
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  This will give you more information on this topic. But
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  thanks for tuning in today and stay tuned to our
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  next episode coming up on FAMI Law Talk. Thank you
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  very much.
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  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to Family Law Talk with Kirk Stangy.
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  Visit Stangy Lawfirm dot com for more about today's topic
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  or to put Stangy Lawfirm to work for your family today.
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