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How do narcissists mourn the loss of a relationship · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammock,
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time I see my
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  face to hear my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise the
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  words for NPD, get more people into the therapy like myself,
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  and also validate the victims, survivors and thrivers of said
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  disorder. Said toxic people.
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  Said toxic traits and all the other good stuff.
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  Y'all bad stuff as well. Today's episode is going to be
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  about how do narcissists, Narcissists.
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  How do narcissists mourn the loss of a relationship?
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  We can do another episode later, yeah, about how narcissists
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  mourn the loss of a family member or friend or the loss of
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  some a loved one or something on all those lines.
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  But today's episode is going to be about how do they mourn the
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  loss of a relationship in general.
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  So before we hop in today's episode, y'all make sure, if you
• 0:54
  haven't already, check out my self love journal on Amazon.
• 0:59
  That's helping out a lot of people.
• 1:01
  Liam MC I Love me a self love journal.
• 1:03
  And also my kids book. Oh my wife and I partnered on
• 1:06
  the kids book that's coming out soon.
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  It's coming out. Oh my goodness, it's coming out.
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  So we're it's finished, but we're we're putting the final
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  session on it this week. But yeah, so so how do
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  narcissists mourn the loss of a relationship?
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  So the easiest way, the the most common way you see a narcissist
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  mourn is. This is going to sound weird to
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  a lot of people. Well, to some people, the main
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  way a lot of narcissists mourn is by throwing themselves into a
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  new relationship and love bombing and love bombing someone
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  else. That's how they mourn.
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  They don't want to mourn. Some narcissistic people do not
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  want to mourn. They don't want to sit in the
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  feelings of failure of this relationship.
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  So they don't want to mourn the loss of a relationship.
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  They want to move on. They want to get rid of these
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  the nasty, dirty thoughts of failure, the rejection, the
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  shame. They want to get rid of all of
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  that. I don't want to sit in it.
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  I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to feel it at all.
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  So what I need to do to to mourn, to mourn is to move on
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  quickly. It's to appear to move on
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  quickly. It's to appear to be happy as
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  hell in a new relationship. It's to appear to be just better
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  off without you. That's what I need.
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  That's how some narcissists mourn right there.
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  Some of them will mourn the loss of relationship in another
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  relationship because they because they don't want to sit
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  in the hurt and the pain and the shame that dealing with
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  whatever. However your relationship ended,
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  they don't want to sit and deal with that.
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  They don't want to sit with that pain and regret or whatever they
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  did to. They don't want to sit with it.
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  So in order to not sit with it, in order to focus my mind on
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  something else, I hop into a new relationship.
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  I hop into a new space. I hop into into something with a
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  new person. I'm love bombing a new person.
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  I look happy with the new person, but internally I'm in
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  turmoil. Internally the the the clock is
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  been. Internally I'm hurting it.
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  I'm in pain. I don't want to be in this in
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  this space, but I'm throwing my love and care and affection to a
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  new person. So I don't have to think about
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  you. If I'm loving this person, I'm
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  trying not to think about you. I'm trying not to think about
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  the the old relationship or whatever.
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  But you know how that works out though, right?
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  Because so many people ask me why do Narcis give them the new
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  person, everything I ever asked for, everything I ever wanted?
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  Because they're thinking about you.
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  Think about it right there. Now this is not, though, y'all.
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  If you're looking for a sign to give that toxic person another
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  chance, this ain't it. I'm not the sign you're looking
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  for. These are not the drawings
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  you're looking for. Like I said before, that's the
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  war. This is not a sign to go back
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  into the toxic relationship. Just because they're thinking
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  about you does not mean it's a positive thing, okay.
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  But I'm just saying they throw themselves into something new to
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  to because they're thinking about you.
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  They give the new person everything that you wanted
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  because they're still thinking about you.
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  Oh, let me see it. Oh, my ex liked this.
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  Let me see if this new person likes this.
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  My ex loved this bar. Let me see if the new person
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  likes this bar that I never took my ex to.
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  My new person likes to my ex liked to travel or always wanted
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  to go to this place. So let me see if this new person
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  likes to do that. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's why they give the new person everything that you want
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  it. Because one, they know it works,
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  and two, they know you wanted it.
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  You own their mind. They were on their mind.
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  That's why they do it though. They look, they look so happy in
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  the new relationship because they are focusing on.
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  They try not to focus on you. They try not to focus on the
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  embarrassment, the shame, the pain of what happened.
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  Especially if you confronted them.
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  Especially if your relationship ended with a confrontation and
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  you just you walked away or you they feel like you defeated
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  them. They are of course they're going
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  to throw themselves into this new relationship.
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  Of course they're going to. They're going to try to hurt you
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  with what they do. Of course, of course it looks
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  like they won because right now you might be single and right.
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  Right now, you might be single and they might look happy in a
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  new relationship, but they're giving a new person everything
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  that you wanted because they are not original people, first of
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  all. And then also they know you
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  wanted it. It all goes back to you.
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  You hurt them, you rejected them, you shamed them.
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  I don't care if they were cheating on you if you ended it.
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  They they suck. They they throw themselves into
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  something new. That's one way that they mourn.
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  It's like throwing themselves into a new relationship.
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  They throw themselves into a new relationship to mourn the loss
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  of this original one. It doesn't mean the new
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  relationship is better. It doesn't mean to lose new
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  relationship is going to work out.
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  It just means it's new. I need to throw myself into it.
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  I need to focus on you now and try not to focus on this old
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  person, but we most people know how that works.
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  Somehow, some way, shape or form y'all in the reconnecting,
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  talking or something like that, and I'll just get shared.
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  That's how it goes. You see y'all know y'all dealt
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  with it before. You understand the space you
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  under. You know exactly what's going
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  on. You get it.
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  You don't make so many people don't see me like so many
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  people, or fighting this battle. Or they see the new person happy
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  and they always like, what about they?
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  What about what happened to me? Y'all they either throwing
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  themselves into something new they want a new relationship,
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  moves quickly. I mean, I'm love bombing the new
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  person because I need to forget about you.
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  I try. I'm trying to forget about you.
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  I can't. You can't simultaneously forget
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  about something that you're thinking about.
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  You know what I'm saying? You can't forget about something
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  or someone that you're thinking about.
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  You can't. How does it work out?
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  Yeah, How does that work another way that a narcissistic person
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  can mourn over the loss of relationship?
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  Yeah, it's like smear campaigning you anger.
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  Anger is mourning for some narcissistic people.
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  They smear campaign the hell out of you.
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  Could they both? Could they do both?
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  Could they move on to someone new?
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  And also smear campaign? Yeah, they can do both.
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  But some people do. They do separate.
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  You see what I'm saying? They separated like like a like
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  a Thanksgiving play. They don't want the mashed
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  potatoes and the macaroni and cheese and the casserole
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  touching, the the the green bean casserole touching.
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  They don't want all this stuff to touch.
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  You see what I'm saying? You want to keep it neat.
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  So they'll they don't. Some of them don't smear
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  campaign you and move on to an X, but some people do both.
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  Y'all. Some people mourn by smear
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  campaigning. You.
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  They hurt, they're hurt. They're hurting so bad.
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  They're so goddamn anger and frustrated and just wants they
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  want it. So a lot of them want to seek
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  some vengeance. They want it so badly.
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  They want their vengeance so badly.
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  They they yeah, they want their vengeance and they want to hurt
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  you so goddamn badly that they smear campaign you.
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  They they try to discredit you. They try to hurt your feelings
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  by spreading rumors and lies and stuff like that about you.
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  They just do. That's one of the ways that they
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  do this. Y'all.
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  That's absolutely one of the ways that they will absolutely
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  smear campaign the hell out of you.
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  They're smoking because they're mourning, because they're hurt,
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  because they're angry, because they're mad because the shame.
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  Shame is attacking. Shame is on the attack out.
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  And when shame attacks, narcissists flee.
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  You see what I'm saying? Shame is like when shame is like
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  when a narcissist. Shame is like when the shame,
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  when shame attacks, narcissistic people flee.
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  Shame is a light bulb that flicks on and then the roaches
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  scatter. The the narcissistic roaches
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  scatter when a shame light bulb comes up.
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  I know y'all like Lee. What the hell are you talking
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  about this imagery? Yeah, my mind is so imaginative.
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  Goodness gracious mind. Just little narcissist.
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  The cockroaches running away. But that's how they mourn.
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  Y'all they will mourn you by throwing dirt on your name.
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  They will mourn you by trying to bury your reputation, you know
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  what I'm saying? They don't.
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  They can't bury you as a person. Some of them will try.
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  Some of them will absolutely try.
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  Y'all that's next. But some of them will mourn you
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  by trying to bury your regulation.
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  They'll smear campaign you, they'll rage out on you.
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  Stuff like that. Another way that some
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  narcissists mourn y'all is by pure narcissistic rage,
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  obsession and anger. Sometimes when the relationship
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  ends, they mourn it by trying to end you.
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  They great. Some of them, that was a lot of
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  them go into narcissistic rage mode where they become super
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  obsessive and they don't allow themselves to mourn.
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  They don't. There's not a mourning period.
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  They just over. They just over obsess with you
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  and stalk you and harass you and threaten you and pop up on you
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  and just just keep calling you back-to-back to back, texting
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  you back-to-back to back, doing all of this stuff back-to-back
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  to back-to-back to back. They don't want to, they don't
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  want to give you that space. They don't want to give you that
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  healing. They don't want to give you that
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  growth because they know if you have space for healing and
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  growth that you're going to leave them alone.
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  Space for healing and growth means you typically you're going
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  to leave them alone. You healing, you.
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  You healing and you growing does it.
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  How does it you healing and growing benefit a narcissistic
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  person. Think about the way that y'all,
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  how does you heal? If they if they still want to be
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  with you, how does you healing and growing benefit them?
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  When you're dealing with a narcissistic person?
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  Y'all that's one of the main question.
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  You have to ask yourself how does this benefit them?
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  How you know? It sounds silly, but how is this
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  a benefit to them? It doesn't.
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  Some of them will become ragy obsessive and they think because
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  they think they own you. They mourn it by own.
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  They mourn the relationship by not trying not to let it end by
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  trying not try not to give you space.
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  And some of them again, y'all will mourn it by trying to end
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  you. Y'all, y'all know what I mean by
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  end you. They will send you.
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  They will try to send you to meet your maker.
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  They absolutely will. They were.
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  They absolutely will try to send you to meet your maker.
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  I'm not laughing at y'all. Y'all got a text message from
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  Ben. Tell the wrong motivations.
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  They were. They were absolutely trying to
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  send you to meet your maker. Because they're they don't want
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  to more. They're embarrassed.
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  They're ashamed. So they're ashamed.
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  And embarrassment will cause them to lose their damn minds.
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  And some of some of them will try to harm you.
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  Some of them will try to harm you.
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  Some of them will try to proceed you to meet God.
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  There's a lot of different moving pieces here, but you have
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  to protect your peace. You have to protect yourself.
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  You have to take care of yourself.
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  Y'all seriously. Anyway, y'all think y'all tune
• 11:23
  into another episode. I truly appreciate every single
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  one of y'all. I'm eternally grateful for every
• 11:27
  single one of y'all as well. Like and subscribe for more.
• 11:30
  Make sure y'all get that self love journal.
• 11:31
  And when the kids book comes out and it drops, get that too.
• 11:35
  So be on Amazon. Y'all thank you so much for
• 11:37
  doing this is out peace. Thanks so much for making this
• 11:41
  into my video. Y'all If you haven't already
• 11:42
  make sure you check out my self love journal on Amazon Lee
• 11:46
  Hammock I love me a self love journal Help you rebuild their
• 11:49
  self love and authenticity after a touch relationship.
• 11:51
  Thank you.