Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 128 - You get to decide… The story!

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 128 - You get to decide… The story! · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the good morning from the chicken coop, podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset.
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  Coach filled with inspiration, distinctions, perspectives and
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  possibilities. We help you to cultivate a
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  mindset that leads you to create the best version of yourself.
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  You could ever imagine join Kim. Every morning from one of her.
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  Favorite happy places her chicken coop, along with all her
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  chickens. Hey everybody.
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  Good morning from the chicken coop.
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  Whoop. So today we're talking about our
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  second, you get to decide and today is all about the story.
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  So often what happens, once you have your perspective, you
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  create a story and that story obviously is from that
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  perspective because it's whatever emotion is driving.
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  That's what's going to do it, that's what's going to give you
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  that wholeheartedly, you've got that emotion.
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  You've got that tied in your most.
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  Still stuck in that emotion and you are going to stay there and
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  then you tell a story about that and then that story starts to
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  drive everything. And you know what's interesting
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  about stories, they tend to morph over time just like
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  humankind is built around stories and storytelling by the
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  fires. And that's how we learn the best
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  learning in the world is done through stories because we can
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  remember them easier, facts. Get very muddled.
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  And often the stories are what? Stick with us.
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  So it's incredibly important to recognize that the quality of
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  the story you're telling yourself about a situation about
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  yourself, whatever it might be is going to stick with you.
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  Make no mistake about it and if you start to tell a really
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  crappy story, you are going to have a really really tough time.
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  Because I guarantee you over time that story is going to more
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  and it's going to get more and more and more convoluted.
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  And if any of Listen for any length of time.
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  You know, I've told a story about how my father used to talk
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  about these fish and chips that his friend made, and how he
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  stopped making them at his restaurant, on Fridays, because
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  he didn't need the money anymore to put his daughter through this
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  private school. So he just, he just essentially
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  stopped making these fish and chips.
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  Well, they became a legend and when he decided he wanted to
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  make them again, to pay for her to go through grad school.
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  Think it was grad school. It was one of those situations
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  where we all couldn't. Wait, we could not wait to have
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  the fish and chips again, but the story we had been telling
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  ourselves about these fish and chips over the years, obviously
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  got a little stretched out, and by the time we got to have them
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  again, they were not as great as we remembered them to be.
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  But that's the thing with stories and that's why we're
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  talking about them, is that this it we stretch them out, we make
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  them be different than the reality is and in the process of
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  doing that. That hurts us, more can help us
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  to but it usually the stories end up hurting us when it comes
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  through certain filters, let's say, and when we start to make
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  things worse than they are. So when you make something the
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  infractions bigger, when you stretch them out, when you make
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  the offense bigger, when you hang onto the effects, when you
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  really poor in and give yourself the permission to make this
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  offense so big. There's no way anybody's going
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  to get by it. That's the crazy part.
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  Nobody's going to get by the offense because it's so huge.
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  So you have to stop and pause and I'm not even joking.
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  Sit and write it down. What's the story?
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  I'm telling myself about this and then, when you're in that
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  mode, when you're capturing the story, you can ask yourself.
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  Well, is this the story I choose to tell?
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  Or can I tell a different story? Do I want to tell a different
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  story? Is there a different way to tell
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  the story? Because all of Of those are true
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  to as we know multiple things can be true at the same time.
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  So understanding which ones you're going to hang onto, could
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  not be more critical and in that sense of deciding what that
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  story is going to be. I promise you, you will get
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  upset. I promise you.
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  It will be irritating. I promise you.
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  You will get frustrated because that's the nature of this.
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  It is just very, very Very complex and complicated to look
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  at yourself and recognize these things and it's worth every bit
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  of the tedious Journey that it sometimes can be.
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  Because then you have ultimate control over your emotions, what
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  you think how you feel other than that, you're letting other
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  people take over for you. So the story go.
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  Look at the story, write it down, decide how you want it to
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  go, what it's going to mean to you.
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  The other day, I was on a call with a group of people, and I
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  was a participant. But on the call, and I listened
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  to a young lady telling a story about what had happened to her
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  in a meaning. She was in and how this action
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  because she was female had gotten to her and how she felt
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  that the males in the room were showing up a certain way and
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  what it meant and lots of different things.
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  There were lots and lots and lots of different meanings in
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  all of this. Did she have to see it that way?
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  The reality is no. She did not have to see it that
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  way. And I have been in other
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  situations where women have not chosen to see things that way.
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  And again, this comes back to perspective and story, I have
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  the privilege of coaching some very, very powerful women in the
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  world, and some of them are at the top of their game.
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  When I say the top there in the top, 10 of top 10% of their Game
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  and whatever industry that maybe and I will tell you, they don't
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  take that perspective when they're presented with it.
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  They take a completely opposite approach because they're going
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  to walk into it and they're not going to let somebody make them
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  feel marginalized because there are female or for whatever other
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  reason they decide what the story is mean to them.
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  So the powerful part in this is you have the control.
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  You just have to assume it and take it and decide what you It
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  to me. So you sit down, you write it on
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  a piece of paper. What did this mean to me?
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  As it is if it's and write it out, put the angry stuff on
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  there and then make the decision to say, okay, what else could it
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  mean? And debrief yourself and get
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  clear on that and I promise you it will help and you can do this
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  in the reverse even if this is something that you've been
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  carrying around forever, you can do it.
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  You can go ahead and do it. Write it down because I promise
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  you can get rid of a lot of garbage this way and a lot of
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  baggage. All right, my friends, I will
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  see you tomorrow. Hope you have a blessed day.
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  Bye.