Latest / Love Matters With Leeza Mangaldas / How to stay healthy and happy in your intimate life ft. Dr Tanaya Narendra

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How to stay healthy and happy in your intimate life ft. Dr Tanaya Narendra · Love Matters With Leeza Mangaldas

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Get vaccinated against age prev and news condoms. I feel like this is this
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is what will be written on my homestone. This is all I say.
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Do you feel comfortable talking about what goes on in your bedroom? Maybe to
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your close friends, if at all? Why is it still such a taboo
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to speak about sexual health and well being when it's one of the most natural
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and beautiful aspects of our lives. Today we're speaking to a millennial doctor who
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has made it her mission to speak to the next generation about sex and health
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in a super casual way. Hi. I'm Evelyne Sharma, and you're listening
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to Love Matters, a podcast about relationship topics that matter to you and me.
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I'm so glad to welcome today's guest, a medical doctor, fellow podcast
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host, best selling author, and face behind Instagrams incredibly popular doctor Cutus,
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Doctor Tenaya. It's so great to have you on the show today. Thank
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you so much for having me. I'm so started to be awesome. Well,
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I have a ton of questions for you, so let's jump right in.
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First of all, I want to know what moved you to start the
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doctor Cutus account on Instagram and how did you come up with the name.
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So I grew up in a very sex positive and a very relaxed household,
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both my parents and doctors, which meant that my idea of the human body
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was extremely chill. I never thought, you know, there's parts of the
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body we're technically supposed to be ashamed or for something like that, which meant
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that when I went to parties, I would say completely inappropriate things like one
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example, give us an example. It's technically not even inappropriate. But I
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remember I was invited to a birthday party. And this is back in the
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day when you know, when you used to go to birthday parties with your
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parents, So it must have been six or seven, and Mom didn't turn
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up to the party, and when I was asked, I said, oh,
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she's gone to operate on somebody's ut risk, and the host got so
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cross with me, you know, they made me stand in a corner for
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the rest of the party, and I wasn't allowed to participate in the party
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because I was talking about shameful things. So us okay, can you imagine?
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And the Utrius is the very first home they all have, you know,
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we all have very fond memories of our first home. So I think
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it's time we extend that courtesy to the uts. It's a really cute organ.
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It's about the size of your fist when you're not pregnant. Not mind
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right now, it's probably the size of the melon by now, so exactly.
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I mean something going from the size of a fist to the size of
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a melon and then going back to fist size. I think it's amazing.
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So I have a lot of respect and appreciation for the utus, and I
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thought, let's rephrase it and let's make get cute. It's a cute uterus
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is doctor cuts. And I think it was just an extension of the kind
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of work I was doing offline as well. There was a lot of misinformation
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on social media, particularly a lot around women's reproductive and sexual health, which
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kind of I don't know. One day I woke up and I was like,
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why am I not doing this? Let's do this, and yeah,
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now it's it's it's a thing. Now it's got a million followers, so
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it's definitely a thing. Now that's awesome. Why do you call yourself a
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millennial doctor in your bio and how does that, you know, make you
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different from other doctors. One of the things that I learned. I've had
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the privilege of like seeing medicine being practiced in three different countries. And one
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of the things that I saw that was very different between India where I did
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my medical training and the UK where I did my masters, was that there's
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a very big focus on doctors explaining things to their patients, you know,
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explaining diagnoses and giving giving you an opportunity to make a decision for what healthcare
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action you want. Now that sounds very basic, but it was quite radicate
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to my brain because this is not really how we practice medicine in India.
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What's the difference between say, the West and the Eastern philosophy of medicine.
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I wouldn't necessarily label it as West and nies. I think that's a very
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India specific problem because of the amount of patient load we have. We just
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have way too many patients and we have very few doctors, which means that
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we don't have the space to sit down and have you know, long conversations
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with our patients. You know, medicine is extremely tri arge heavy over here,
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which means that when I went to the UK and I worked with the
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NHS, I saw that, you know, the doctors would come up with
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like five different treatment options and ask the patients, Hey, what do you
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want? That's amazing? That is amazing? Is this how it's supposed to
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work? So how do you find practicing in India? And when did you
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start practicing in India? I finished medical school in twenty seventeen, which is
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when I started working in India, and then the same year I went off
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to the UK for my master's so as technically be in fact properly practicing since
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twenty nineteen. And I felt that I was catering to a very millennial audience
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with very millennial questions, which wasn't the case with my mom's practice or my
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dad's practice. And that's kind of how things evolved, and I became the
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millennial doctor case. So it's more because of your patience, it's not because
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you're a millennial. I guess it's both, you know what. To be
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honest, I've never really thought about it. I just wanted that, you
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know what, does like a young person. I didn't know the term gen
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z existed back then. By the way, I'm a little nube. But
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that's all right. They just joined anyway, they just joined the party.
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So yeah, that's true. I agree with that. So, you know,
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my kind of patients wanted to learn about anail sex, and they wanted
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to learn about different contraception options, and they wanted to learn about sex stories.
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Sounds like that's so cool. Yeah, so are you You're working as
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a medical doctor and your patients are so open that's awesome. Are they also
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like that in their social circles? Do you think? Or is it there?
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It's a to do, but then talking to the doctor is okay?
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I think yeah. I think, you know, people have kind of learned
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to understand that this is a safe space and they can ask whatever questions they
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like, which led to people coming up with more questions that you would normally
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expect people to be asking their doctors. So I think it's it's kind of
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like a cycle. You know, the more I create this kind of content,
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the more I get these kind of patients, which means the more I
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have the questions to create this kind of content. Staying so, since today's
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topic is sexual health and wellness, could you briefly describe to your audience what
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that includes. Sexual health is basically reproductive genital health, and it can include
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things like how do you keep it as healthy as possible and how do you
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keep it as positive as possible. And it also includes treatments of different issues,
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for example, fertility issues or psychosexual issues to name a couple of things.
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They can be erectile dysfunction, they can be imaginousness, fertility issues.
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They can be the inability to have an orgasm. So it's a wide variety
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of things and the focus is on the genitals essentially. Yeah, okay,
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I'm so fascinated already by this conversation. But first of all, thanks for
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being so open about sharing your experience and everything. In each episode, our
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Love Matters team puts together some statistics about the topic. So let's look at
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some facts and figures when it comes to sexual wellness in India matters. According
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to the Times of India, India is the fifth most sexually active country in
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the world, but resistance to conversation about sex and a lack of sex education
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has led to high levels of unawareness. Some six percent of the adult population
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is diagnosed with sexually transmitted diseases and reproductive tract infections every year in India.
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M that's a very interesting fact and it sounds like not talking about sex can
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really have negative impacts. We heard that six percent is diagnosed with STDs,
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but I wonder if there is an unofficial number, an estimate of how bad
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the situation kind of really is. I'm sure a lot of people are too
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shy to seek a doctor's help when you know they have just an itch.
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Basically, do your patients usually come at an early stage or a later stage
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when they feel ill. I can guarantee that number is not even the ticult
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the iceberg because the kind of medical training we get. We don't have a
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sexual medicine specialization in anything. Okay, okay, yeah, which is very
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shocking and said, which means that most of the patients that come to us
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come in fairly advanced stages because you know, they don't know who to go
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to. They don't know if organicol just as the right person or a medical
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doctors the right person. And to add to that, the most common symptom
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of an STI is more symptoms at all, which means that, yeah,
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it's it's unfortunately quite a delayed diagnosis. In fact, one of the reasons
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why I got into this field in the first place was because I was training
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as a fertility specialist. So I was training in procedures like IVF and IUI
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and things like that, And most of the times I would walk away from
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the clinic and I would sort and think, if these people had the right
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sex set or the reproductive education at the right time, they probably would not
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have to go through you know, so many hopes and you know, fight
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so many battles because a lot of these cases work quite preventive. Can you
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name can you name one or two? So futility education, for example,
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a lot of people don't know when you suppose, for example, particularly for
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women or people with ovaries, there is a certain reserve your bond with.
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There is a certain amount of eggs you're bond with, which means you need
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to prioritize. You need to decide when you want to have children and how
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much of a priority you want to make it, because you can struggle with
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fertility issues if you delay it for too long. And of course it's quite
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a struggle, you know, trying to make your own life and then also
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having a baby in the middle of it's quite a lot. But is that
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very general like everyone should kind of like have babies, say before they thirty
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five, or is that very personal that, oh, you're like, you
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know, running out of eggs, so maybe have children before twenty eight.
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And then somebody else is like, hey, you have until you're like forty
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two. Is that something that you need to get checked or is that a
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very like general number that we can tell our audience. So it's a difficult
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answer because you know, statistically, yes, there is a certain age we
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push people for. We always encourage having your first child before thirty five.
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But of course it's different for different people. Some people have a great egg
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reserve, some people have a low egg reserve even when they're younger. My
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mom had me when she was forty, So you know, these numbers,
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you know, there's there's all kinds of numbers we get. We recently had
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a patient in that clinic who was struggling with fertility issues and I think she
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was twenty four. Oh okay, yeah it is well, I guess everything
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gets medicine is very personal. Forty two body. Yeah, it's a huge
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range, but on average, yes, we do encourage people to prioritize a
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pregnancy before thirty five, at least that the first rag. That's so interesting.
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I also because I was I think I was thirty five when or thirty
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four when I had my first pregnancy. Now I'm in my second pregnancy,
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so I'm older, isn't that. But it was really interesting the first pregnancy
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because I was thirty five. They wanted to market as like a risk that's
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the technical m Yeah, and like it's very interesting. What you also said,
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and what people don't really hear, is that your first pregnancy should be
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before the age of thirty five. And I always thought all your pregnancies need
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to be before the age of thirty five, so you have to have all
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your kids before thirty five. But then actually the statistics is that you should
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have your first baby before thirty five, isn't that. So we say two
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main drops in fertility. The first cliff, what we call it the fertility
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cliff. The first drop comes at thirty two, and then the second drop,
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like a very significant drop, comes around thirty five. And this is,
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you know, on an average in very large population data sets. Yeah,
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so in this what we realize is that how you do your don't have
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your life together, to be very honest. So, yeah, we don't
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want to encourage people who are not in the position to care for a baby
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financially, emotional, socially to you know, bang out a baby right now.
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You know, we need it now so hard to have a very Oh
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gosh, well that's for another that's for another conversation I should have yeah,
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with my therapist. But yeah, what's another thing that you wish people knew?
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I think STI education is so important because a lot of sexually transmitted infections
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lead to and you know, because most of them don't have symptoms. A
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lot of people have no idea that they have an star and they've been carrying
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it around for years, and it can lead to changes on the inside of
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your body, which means that you have no idea that you know, there's
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permanent and very significant changes that are occurring inside the body that can be prevented
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if we, you know, educated more people about using condom or getting regular
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STI screens, or you know, just save sexual practices essentially. So it's
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an STI the same as an STD Sorry, I've I'm just not. We
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prefer the term STI now because it's less stigmatizing and also a disease usually tends
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to have it's it's a debate in the medical community, to be honest,
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but we all have started seeing STIs now, so a disease is something that
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has to be in your life for a significant amount of time, and you
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know it has to be a certain amount of chronicity. What chronic There has
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to be a chronic element to it. Do you think by the time people
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come to the doctor in India it is an STD? Very often? Yes,
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we see a lot of pelvic inflammatory disease in our clinic in this side
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of the country at least. Yeah, which means so after repeated STIs which
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have gone undiagnosed, there's a significant amount of I changed. Now there's the
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chronic element, so it becomes pelvic inflammatory disease. Right, So prevention of
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course, as always is the best way to go about it. But then
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when when do you think it's time to see a doctor? When is it
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not too late to see the doctor? Like I mean, you know,
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do you go to the doctor if you have like I mean, I know
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a lot of women problems obviously, you know, maybe you have itchy or
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you're you've got well it just doesn't look the way it's supposed to look or
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it usually looks. Should you immediately find a doctor or should you wait and
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see and put some yogurt on it? And you know that home remedies the
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internet gives you. I also saw somebody on TikTok inserting a garic garlic clothes.
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Oh, and the cloth coming out completely blue because you know the feet
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of them, which changed so dramatically. So I sent to the gullico pickled
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inside. They Oh, no, I did not know that you can see
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vaginas on TikTok. TikTok, TikTok, TikTok. Sorry, really not from
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this gen z Okay, we'll cut that out. I didn't say that.
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No, I think it should be that this is golden. I feel like
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a mom now, truly, what are you doing on your TikTok? Don't
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show you a vagina on the TikTok? Oh? God? So yeah,
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when when do you When do you see the doctor? So what we recommend
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is that every time you get a new partner, you should get an STI
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screen to make sure that you know you're you're testing negative for everything and you're
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not passing on anything accidentally to your partner. And other than that, you
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know, if things are different, if there's something that isn't the way it's
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meant to be, quote to your doctor, and you know obviously this is
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not catering to a country like America, but it's very expensive to go to
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a doctor. But you know, in countries with nationalized healthcare like India and
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all, we can afford to do this. Yeah, okay, if things
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don't local ge doctor, yeah, they don't feel okay. I guess,
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like you know, sometimes it's difficult to pee and you wonder why and just
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go and see a doctor. I mean, they'll just probably make you pee
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into a little cup and that's it, and it's not that scary. I
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think, like when I lived in India and I told my friends, my
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female friends, that I go to a gynac regularly because in Germany you're raised
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in the way that you're supposed to see a gynecologist like twice a year just
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for you know, some checkups, the routine stuff. Not everything is very
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comfortable. I'm going to be honest. I feel there is a lot of
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scope still in gynecology to invent instruments that are a lot more pleasant for the
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female organ. I don't know about men how they feel when they go to
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their doctor, but for me, I don't think it's always very pleasant.
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But still, like a lot of female friends were shocked that I would go
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to a guy in of colleges and they're like, but you're not pregnant.
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I'm like, well, that's really late, because yeah, you need to
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check a lot of things before you fall pregnant. And you know, they're
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just general things that your doctor checks for your well being. And what are
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some common checks that a doctor will do when you go, you know,
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say on a regular basis, Say you go every six months, every twelve
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months, just to get a check up done. I think that's a brilliant
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healthcare practice to go to ceogenical just at least once a year. And one
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of the things we do so we check we do a bapsmire every three years
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where we check for any changes in the cells of the bottom part of the
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uterus. So cervical cancer is exceedingly common and it's often diagnosed quite late because
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the symptoms are extremely vague. So this is why we do a screening test
19:08
called it perhaps ME every three years. Other than this, they can run
19:11
routine blood test to make sure your iron levels are good because you know,
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women menstrue it, so the blood loss can cause changes in your iron levels.
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So your hemoglobin needs to be monitored. Basic vitamins need to be monitored,
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and just a general wellness checkup, including checking the breasts. We encourage
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everybody to check their breasts once every month to make sure there's nothing new,
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nothing different that looks or feels different. So yeah, just a basic looking
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everywhere to make sure things are running perfectly right. And I guess your doctor
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just checks in with you. You know, about your sex life as well,
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like are you active? Are you're not active? Why are you not
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active? Doctor? I used to tell me Evelynce, it's time to make
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some babies. Come on. I'm like, I'm glad I waited. But
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yeah, also checking in on your contraception, making sure you know it's doing
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well for you, if you need to changes your medication. Review things like
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that, why are you acting crazy? You may be on the wrong sail,
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let's change that. What are a few more practices that every person can
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do stay on a daily routine or a weekly routine us to improve their personal
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hygiene, you know, just to avoid falling ill. Something that you can
20:37
do for yourself self care. I love blending this as self care because you
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know, in this in this world, we've started seeing self care scandals and
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face masks, which may not necessarily be and crystals upper vagina and vaginal steams
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and all that stuff that is crazy scary, But I mean not the that
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stuff. I mean, like, what's a real thing that you can do
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for yourself. I think that's some very simple tips we can, you know,
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use to ensure good genital health and good sexual health. Changing your underwear
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every day, even if you know, if you don't think it's dirty,
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it is. Microscopically it's quite dirty, So change it every day, going
21:23
bra free every now and then. There's no medical or scientific reason to wear
21:30
a bra, unless, of course, you know your breast are quite heavy
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and it helps you. If you if it helps you in some way,
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go ahead. But at least sleeping, yeah, exactly, sleeping without a
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bra, because you know it does compress parts of the body. So we
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also encourage sleeping without underwear, but that's not a practical possibility for most people.
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So that's okay. Other than this, making sure you're not adding anything
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to your genitals. You don't need a fancy hygiene wash. Simple soap and
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water does fine. Used to be general soap on your privates. So no,
22:11
that's true because a lot of the soap we find that the market is
22:17
usually very heavily fragrant. Store has you know, colors oblata particles added to
22:22
it. Particles. Yeah, privates deserves some glad. I saw this wonderful
22:32
peanut colada flavors. Yeah, okay, I didn't wash. Okay, so
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the flavored and the preservatives and all just something organic, something free of all
22:47
the extras. Yeah. So a simple glistening based soap is fine, and
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we also encourage I mean, one of the primary things to remember is that
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the hygiene for a vulva versus a va giant is different. So the vagina
23:00
is the canal on the inside. We don't do anything there, no water,
23:03
no soap, no steam, nothing that way. It's a self cleaning
23:07
urban and with the vulva we can do plain soap and water or even plain
23:14
water is fine. If somebody has a penis, then they should make sure
23:18
and if they're not circumcised, they should make sure they pull back the foreskin
23:21
and clean because there can be a lot of oil and debris and dead cells
23:26
which can essentially make the foreskin stick in place and lead to complications and infections.
23:33
After they're done cleaning, they should move the first skin back to its
23:34
original trace and yeah, that's it. It's really simple. We don't really
23:40
need to mess around, to be honest. Yeah. Interesting. Oh,
23:45
and everybody should examine their breasts once a month and people with the penis should
23:52
examine their testicles once a month because the secular cancer is extremely common and one
23:56
of the if diagnosed early, you know, we can treat it quite nicely.
24:00
And one of the first peaks we see with the testicular cancers around the
24:07
thirties. So you know, people of the millennial age group should be quite
24:11
careful in checking. Yeah, check your testicles tonight. Check your balls that
24:18
they can be on your chests, they can be in your groin. Just
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the balls should be checked. Everything that feels good, just check it,
24:29
Okay. So then let's move to what are some safety simple safety tips while
24:34
having sex that people can follow to prevent illnesses. Use a condoms. This
24:40
is the single best thing you can do for your sexual health. Is that
24:44
just for penetration or should you use that for all types of sex, oral
24:49
sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, whatever, condoms all the way.
24:53
And if you're having oral sex on a vulva, then you can use dental
24:56
dance and it's quite easy to make one and from using a condom. If
25:00
you're not able to find them in the market, they're usually quite expensive for
25:03
some reason. But yeah, there are a super helpful practice in making sure
25:11
they work as a barrier and making sure you don't get any STIs and get
25:15
the HPV vaccine. I encourage everybody I meet in every party, every street,
25:21
every building, please get vaccinated against HPV. It what is an HPV
25:26
for? Sit down now. So HPV is a family of viruses. There's
25:30
about two hundred of them, out of which about ten odd ones are very
25:36
seriously linked with causing different kinds of cancers, cancer of the cervix, of
25:41
the anus, of the penis, of the back, of the throat,
25:45
of the mouth. So yeah, there's a huge variety of cancers, and
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it can also lead to watch and we have vaccines available that protect you from
25:56
these more dangerous strains. And anybody between the ages of nine to forty five
26:03
can get it. Some older data said that you can get it only up
26:06
to the age of twenty six, but that was changed in twenty and eighteen
26:08
and now everyone, no matter what entities you have, nine and forty five,
26:14
if you're between that age group get the vaccine. Okay. Interesting,
26:18
you've said that you want to provide especially young people with the kinds of information
26:23
that you wish you had had when you grew up. But you said that
26:27
you already knew about a uterus when you were like six. So what other
26:33
things did you not know about that you wish you knew. I will credit
26:40
my parents and providing me all the right scientific information, but you know,
26:45
sex was still something he didn't. I don't know how shame is. Shame
26:49
was instilled in me, but it was still not you know, sex positivity
26:56
as a conversation, Pleasure as a conversation will seriously missing. And I feel
27:02
like, you know, for the longest time, I used to feel ashamed
27:07
of seeking pleasure, and I really hope we can change that with you know,
27:12
comprehensive sexual education. We can teach people that pleasures would here are the
27:18
ways you can achieve pleasure, and there's nothing shameful or wrong about pleasure.
27:23
That's a good point. You talked in some interview about the Dutch, the
27:30
Dutch model, which is very interesting. I think it's said that the Dutch
27:37
kind of introduce things like love and friendship and then they move on to generals
27:44
and then at some point to actually get into sex or how does it work.
27:48
Yeah, so when you're in kindergarten they talk about like love and relationships
27:53
and couples, and then as you grow older, you know, the conversation
27:57
gives graduate interest thing. Do you feel like there has been a shift in
28:03
how people talk about sexual wellness from like they ask millennials to the next generation,
28:07
the gen Z? Do you think? Oh, for sure? Yeah,
28:11
I think what's the different things have really changed? They have unprecedented access
28:17
to information. You know, these guys can look at whatever they want,
28:19
which means that they're also a lot more confident then I think we were as
28:26
student as a generation, which allows them to be able to ask these questions.
28:33
I think I really like the fact that you said the word approachability,
28:37
and that's a wonderful That's a wonderful thing to focus on because the conversation has
28:44
become more approachable now. More and more people are willing to discuss it.
28:48
More and more people are wanting to have these discussions with their children, which
28:52
has been which is a very refreshing and wonderful change. And there's just more
28:57
acceptance generally we're having these conversations with you know, legal changes and policy level
29:04
changes in the news, you know, with things changing in India where we're
29:08
just having the marriage equality discussion right now, which it's created a very good
29:14
avenue for people being able to ask questions and have those questions answered with you
29:22
know, things changing so much and making it a more healthier and safer and
29:26
happier environment for everybody. Yeah, that's good. I love how your sex
29:32
said on Instagram comes across reality so casual. It really takes away any feeling
29:37
of embarrassment and fear. And I feel, in fact, when I watch
29:41
your videos and I read your posts, I always have a smile on my
29:45
face and I think, oh, yeah, no, that's really cool,
29:49
especially with the topic that you know makes you feel so awkward sometimes and then
29:55
you've read it and you're like, hey, you know, I can watch
29:57
this so easily. It's so casual. See, I thank you for it,
30:03
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Do you have any other
30:07
thoughts you'd like to share? No, get vaccinated against age prev and news
30:14
countdoms. I feel like this is this is what will be written on my
30:18
domestone. Awesome, This is all I say. Awesome. Well, thank
30:25
you so much for joining us today. I'm really impressed with your work,
30:29
and yeah, keep it up and I will look forward to following your next
30:33
steps. Thank you so much, it's been a pleasure, and thank you
30:37
so much for having me. You've been listening to Love Matters, a podcast
30:41
about relationship topics that matter to you and me from Indian Express and d W,
30:47
Germany's international broadcaster. If you think there's something that we need to talk
30:52
about, or there's a topic that is important to you and you think we
30:56
need to cover it, please write to Love Matters at THEW dot com and
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don't forget to share our podcast with your friends. I'm Evelyn Charma and I
31:06
think Love Matters. No Maden, No Maden made Devil Dearma