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Transcript

When Loving Your Dog Isn’t Always Easy · Happy You. Happy Dog.

0:00
Coco Moon: Hello, darling. Today we're doing something a little
0:03
different. I'm sitting on my couch with someone very, very
0:07
special to me. My son shows girlfriend Emely. Hello. Emely
0:12
is an animal lover and advocate. She has three cats. She found
0:16
them at work as stray kittens, and she also has a dog named
0:21
Fender, and Fender, how shall we describe Fender? Oh
0:26
Emely: my goodness, a big energetic ball. He is the most
0:33
hyper and most happiest dog I have ever met. Besides, like you
0:38
know, other dogs with their owners, but for me specifically,
0:42
he is a ball of energy. I know he's a lot. He's a lot, but I
0:47
love it. Small boars. And what breed is he? He's an English
0:51
Springer Spaniel. And he technically their breeds love to
0:58
be outdoors, and they are very energetic. That's that's just in
1:03
their like genetics, I guess. But oh my goodness, he is
1:08
definitely someone that I constantly need to like be doing
1:12
stuff with. Like I said, a ball of energy.
1:16
Coco Moon: Yeah, I have seen him.
1:17
Emely: How old is he? He is about to turn three in a couple
1:20
of months, he's still a baby to me. I feel like
1:23
Coco Moon: I think all of our babies stay babies forever. A
1:29
little while ago, Emily asked me a question. She asked me, Coco,
1:34
what do you do when Mana does something bad? And I burst out
1:39
laughing and said, Mana doesn't do anything bad. But afterward,
1:46
I kept thinking about that question, not because Mana is a
1:50
perfect angel. I kept wondering about what sometimes happens to
1:56
us when loving someone isn't always easy.
2:00
So that's what I want to wonder about it with Emely today. Do
2:05
you remember asking me about the idea? I hear you do. So what was
2:09
happening with Fender when you asked me that?
2:12
Emely: Honestly, it's not even what was happening in that
2:16
moment. It's ever since I got him as a puppet. He, like I
2:21
said, has always had all this energy, and I feel like the
2:24
challenge that like I face when he does something bad.
2:28
Technically, it's not a bad thing, but I feel like as an
2:31
owner from me, I'm doing the bad part. And he like when he sees
2:38
people, he gets so excited. But since he's such a heavy dog when
2:41
he jumps on people, it hurts them, right? Or you're like, oh,
2:46
and I feel like he doesn't understand his strength, and so
2:51
in a way, I know that's not something that's bad about him,
2:56
but it definitely is a challenge, and then it makes me
3:00
feel like a bad owner, so technically I feel like I'm the
3:03
one that's bad. And then there's another thing that he's just he
3:10
loves the trash. He's like a raccoon, and that's the bad
3:14
thing I don't like. Like I've told him multiple times, don't
3:17
go in the trash. You need to stop this. But as an owner, how
3:22
can I fix that? And that's what I'm not sure about. So, talking
3:29
about these things now, I'm kind of realizing I'm like, oh my
3:33
gosh, it's maybe my fault. It is my fault because he, at the end
3:38
of the day, he is a dog. He is also family, and so I'm like I
3:44
can't get mad at him for doing something bad when it's
3:50
something I can fix on my own, and technically it isn't even
3:54
bad. I see it in that way because I'm like he's not
3:57
listening, right? But I think I also asked you that question too
4:02
because I'm like when Maya does something that like you know she
4:06
shouldn't be doing or anything. I'm like, do you consider that
4:09
her being bad? And you don't because you're like, no, she's
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just like there's certain ways you can take about it. I feel
4:16
like, and that's something I've learned a lot from you since
4:20
I've known you to go different ways about, like, okay, my
4:23
puppy's just like so excited, or he's just like, or he's bored,
4:33
and he like is like, if she's not gonna give me attention, I'm
4:37
gonna go dig in the trash in the in the bathroom, but you know
4:43
that's something that I think I wanted to ask you because
4:47
there's certain situations where I like get into like being like
4:51
upset that he's not doing something he shouldn't be doing.
4:54
If that makes sense, yeah,
4:56
Coco Moon: it makes perfect sense. But I think as a pet
4:59
parent. Or human kids parent, we all go through their behavior,
5:05
reflecting on us. That's what I'm actually hearing what you're
5:10
saying. So Fender has a lot of energy, as everybody knows, but
5:17
that makes him Fender Fender, right? What's something he does
5:22
that drives you completely crazy, and something he does
5:27
that instantly makes you forget?
5:32
Emely: Something that instantly drives me crazy is right when I
5:36
wake up in the morning. It's like he knows the time, and he
5:39
doesn't even have a clock, but once it hits eight a.m. he's
5:43
like, oh, like he starts howling to wake me up, and he's like, I
5:48
need to go on a walk now, and I get so annoyed because I'm like,
5:53
I just want to sleep, like I want to sleep in, but as a dog
5:58
odor, you cannot sleep in because they're like, I'm up and
6:00
ready to go pee and do my stuff, but the one thing that instantly
6:07
makes me forgive him is actually him speaking. Even though he
6:13
wakes me up to like from him speaking, when we go out, he
6:17
does his little stretch and he goes, "Oh, oh, and he does like
6:21
the cutest little howl, and it's so soft. It's not his like usual
6:27
rough, strong bark. It is the most softest, cutest howl. And
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I'm like, okay, I can't be mad at you that you woke me up. And
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he does this. It's like he knows to talk to you
6:39
Coco Moon: when
6:39
Emely: you get upset with him, I know what to do, and it's him
6:44
talking. The way he uses his voice makes me feel like okay.
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My heart, a part of my heart, is like you know being vocal, and
6:57
that's what I love about it. He, I instantly forgive him once he
7:00
starts talking, even though he makes me mad when he wakes me up
7:03
in the morning with him talking. So
7:07
Coco Moon: it's the love language you and Fender
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Emely: shares. I believe so. Yes, I love to talk to him too
7:15
when I want to share my affection. Like I always have
7:19
that like baby voice that he instantly just knows that I use
7:23
for him specifically, which is kind of crazy because I feel
7:28
like he knows and he understands.
7:30
Coco Moon: Yeah, of course he understands. Yeah,
7:32
Emely: but when he speaks back to me, I also feel like he's
7:37
telling me he loves me, and I understand because he's like,
7:41
I'm sorry, mom. I woke you up, but I love you, and we're gonna
7:44
have a good day today. That's how I feel.
7:47
Coco Moon: So cute. That's precious. Yeah, I love that
7:51
because I think all of us has like I have a relationship with
7:56
Mana that other people don't understand, and like a little
8:01
noise she makes, or little physical movement she does, that
8:07
I understand. So I think you and Fender does that
8:11
Emely: 100% I feel like sometimes there's little things
8:16
that Fender does, but I'm like he's doing that because he loves
8:20
you. I'm the only one that will understand that because I raised
8:25
him since he was a little baby, just like how you did with your
8:28
animals. Like you know their little specific love languages,
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and I feel like sometimes Fender tries to show my boyfriend show
8:36
your son best person ever. There's like little things that
8:42
he tries to do with him that he's like, "What are you doing?
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But I'm like, "No, he's doing that because he's like, I love
8:49
you. Like when Shoga told me he wants to lick his hand because
8:53
he loves to lick hands. I don't understand why, but he's like,
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"I literally just want you to know that I want to give you
9:00
kisses because when he was growing up, I would just be like
9:03
kisses, kisses. That's his like you know he knows to do that.
9:08
But yes, I feel like I am definitely the main person that
9:11
knows all his little love languages, unlike other people
9:16
or like my family or friends. But that's also the best part of
9:20
being an owner because no one else gets to share that bond in
9:25
a ways. And
9:26
Coco Moon: Fender is your baby, and you're his mom.
9:30
Emely: Yeah, and it's the best feeling.
9:31
Coco Moon: Yeah, I get that. I share that part. So you have
9:36
your own love language that you share with Fender and ins and
9:41
out of Fender, but what about other people? Perhaps not see
9:47
about Fender, or there are things that you go Fender is not
9:52
like that, or other people may the first thing they see Fender
9:59
before. People get to know Fender. What do they see?
10:02
Emely: It's so funny because the way I described him is being a
10:06
ball of energy. But when you get to meet him and like just be
10:11
with him, all he wants to do is just sleep on your lap. He is
10:16
the biggest cuddle bug I've met. He loves to cuddle, and he'll
10:21
cuddle anyone. And like, if he like gets comfortable with you,
10:25
he'll be like, "Okay, I want to sleep on you. He he thinks he's
10:29
mana size, and mind you, he's 50 pounds.
10:34
Coco Moon: Yeah, not like a tiny level. No, he's he's a big
10:38
Emely: dog, and he will kick his feet to like try to get in your
10:43
lap. I think that's like one thing that people don't really
10:48
see, like because he comes at you with so much energy, with so
10:52
much hopefulness, and since his bark is so powerful, he seems
10:59
like he's a scary dog. But he is the most sweetest, and like not
11:05
a thought in his mind. Like there's never a thought in his
11:09
mind. I feel like in the best way possible because he's he's
11:13
so cute that he just doesn't even want to think about
11:16
anything. Like he's like I'm happy, and I'm gonna continue to
11:19
be happy. But that's one thing I feel like a lot of people don't
11:23
see instantly with him is that he is a snuggle bug, and who
11:29
will be calm once it's just you and him, or when you're just
11:34
calm and it's with the people he loves. But I think that's really
11:38
hard for other people to see from the outside because they
11:40
don't get to spend a lot of time with him, they just like I feel
11:45
like the people who do meet him will just see him for a little
11:49
bit, and it's always craziness with him. But once he calms down
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and is like, "Okay, I'm with the people I actually do love and
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feel comfortable with, and he just becomes like, just the
12:03
biggest snuggle bug. He is the sweetest baby, but that's those
12:08
are the times where I feel like I'm like, I wish other people
12:11
from the outside could see this part of you.
12:14
Coco Moon: I have noticed his sweetness from the beginning.
12:17
When I met Fender for the first time, I could tell he is like
12:22
bouncing ball. He's full of energy, but the energy of Fender
12:27
is so sweet. You have seen Mana Tomly supervise while I record
12:33
episodes, but today
12:36
she is excited that Emily and Shaw are here, and all the cats
12:40
are down here, so all my babies are just so excited to have on
12:45
the in show. So there's a little more noise during this episode,
12:50
but they're just very very happy. And
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Emely: noise is always so perfect. The noise is beautiful.
12:58
Coco Moon: Usually, when I do solo episode, like you have seen
13:01
and heard, Mana is very in her princess, the director chair.
13:06
But today, all my babies are just happy and excited all over
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the house right now. But this is a part of having fur babies,
13:16
part of our family, right? Like this is like normal household
13:20
for I bet for most of you, so we'll continue.
13:25
Emely: Yes, no, it's never quiet when you have a birthday.
13:30
Coco Moon: So now let me just explain this. Soda is in his. I
13:35
gave him cardboard box for his birthday last month. Soda is in
13:41
the box. Mina wants him out of the box. She's not. She's like,
13:46
get out. So I want to go back to what you were saying before.
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When Fender is having a challenging moment, what happens
13:58
inside of you? I know you started talk a little bit about
14:02
that.
14:02
Emely: I feel like when he is having a challenging moment, I
14:07
ever since I was a little kid, I feel like I've always suffered
14:11
with anxiety, and of course, obviously, I think most people
14:16
do. But when he is having a challenging moment, I feel like
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I'm like, okay, how do I calm myself down right now to calm
14:27
him down? And that's a really hard thing for me, especially
14:30
like in my early 20s, like trying to like also learn about
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my own emotions. I'm like, I feel like I have to like tell
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myself he is an animal, but he is your baby, so you need to
14:47
learn how to talk to him. And obviously, he won't be able to
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communicate with me the way that us like humans do. But I know
14:56
he'll understand, and I think that. That that's something
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that's been like kind of hard getting him as a young age too,
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especially with being such an active dog. That it gives me
15:12
anxiety because I'm like, am I doing the right thing? Am I
15:14
getting him in trouble in the right way? Should I be getting
15:17
him in trouble? Like I sometimes I feel like I second guess like
15:22
what I should be doing as an owner because he is also still
15:26
learning and it is my job to train him in the ways that he
15:31
should be trained. But sometimes it's hard. I get so much anxiety
15:37
and he does make me cry sometimes because I'm like
15:40
you're not listening to me, and I do talk to Joe about those
15:44
situations as well. I'm like, I feel like he's not listening,
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and I'm just like, I don't know what to do, and then I get super
15:52
overwhelmed, and that's not fair to him either because he's like,
15:58
what do you mean you're my owner? Like you have to be
16:00
patient with me, and that's also something I had to learn too.
16:03
That I was always really impatient as a kid, but getting
16:07
him getting him honestly has made me become so much more
16:15
patient. And I don't know. There, in ways, I do think that
16:21
like the way he makes me feel, I'm like, okay, I have anxiety
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right now. I don't know how to get you in trouble, but then
16:28
also I'm like, I like to have this type of feeling because I
16:32
would, I wouldn't feel like me whole if I didn't have this from
16:38
you because he gives me that kind of like, like life is not
16:43
perfect, but I am perfect for you. And even though I can't be
16:48
perfect, you still consider me perfect, and I do. Like even
16:52
though you're not perfect, you are perfect to me. And I think
16:56
that's something he has made me learn. But definitely, anxiety
17:02
is what I feel when he is doing something you shouldn't be doing
17:07
because he's also so strong and so big, and I sometimes like I'm
17:14
I get nervous like if like I can't calm you down like
17:18
something bad's gonna happen. I don't want anything bad to
17:21
happen, and I know he doesn't have like a bone like that in
17:24
his body, but he's just so much bigger that I'm like I need to
17:27
control you when you do get like this, if that makes sense.
17:31
Coco Moon: Yeah, I totally resonate how our children,
17:35
whether it's human kids or our far babies, when they behave or
17:41
when they're having challenges that we take in on ourselves
17:46
very personally because they are our children and they know it
17:49
reflects. But I think you just said something profound that you
17:56
said they see you whole, they see you perfect, and that's the
18:03
one of the most beautiful thing in our relationship with our
18:08
animals is that we are also the most beautiful thing that
18:14
happened to
18:15
Emely: them. That's true. Yeah, I honestly didn't see it in that
18:20
way, either.
18:21
Coco Moon: I know. I think you didn't even realize it when you
18:25
said
18:26
Emely: it. No, you didn't. You
18:27
Coco Moon: know, it came out, but I don't think you sat with
18:33
what you just said. So I wanted to bring you know that back up
18:37
because it's such a profound reflection that for Fender,
18:43
you're perfect. You're whole. You're perfect, mom, and you are
18:48
the best thing ever happened to Fender.
18:52
Emely: And sometimes it's hard to see that in myself that I am
18:56
all of that for him. But hearing that, it does make me feel good,
19:00
and it does make me realize, like I am his everything, and
19:04
you know I am perfect to him because I, you know, I can
19:08
provide for him and give him everything he needs. Oh my God,
19:12
I didn't even realize that.
19:15
Coco Moon: And you're his mom that I know that when you come
19:19
over for dinner or whatever you're always thinking about.
19:23
Okay, I need to go home because I don't want him to be alone
19:28
this long. But you are always constantly thinking about
19:31
Fender, what's good for him, and what's better for him, his
19:35
health, his well-being, and his heart. Right? You understand his
19:41
language. You always make sure that he's happy and he's well.
19:46
Emely: And for some reason, I feel like he understands
19:49
Coco Moon: us.
19:50
Emely: Yeah, he understands. They understand our language,
19:53
and it's so crazy because they can't tell us that
19:54
Coco Moon: they do. So,
19:57
Emely: do you ever compare Fender to other dogs? You know,
20:05
not really, but I okay. I do compare him to seeing other dogs
20:11
that are more calm, that listen to their owners a little bit,
20:15
like more faster than he does, because he's a very smart dog,
20:21
one of the smartest dogs I had ever met, and I know he likes to
20:25
do it on purpose, and I'll listen. But when I see these
20:32
posts, when I go on social media, like TikTok and stuff,
20:35
and they're like, "Oh, my dog just turned one. My dog just
20:39
turned two, and like the dog is off leash and like is perfectly
20:45
calm and like sitting next to their partner or like their
20:48
owner. I'm like, okay, like why can't thunder be like that? And
20:52
so yeah, I do compare, but also I'm like they probably do
20:58
different things and take that route of owning a dog
21:02
differently, and I never want to tell myself I'm a bad owner
21:06
because I know I'm an amazing owner. But I, when I look at
21:12
these things and I compare them, I'm comparing myself to someone
21:16
who is constantly going on hikes, who is constantly
21:20
outdoors, who is like always doing these things when they
21:23
have the free time, and me, I'm like he's a construction dog. I
21:28
take him to my work, but I also can't be without him, so he does
21:31
go everywhere with me. And one thing that I feel like I really
21:37
like on myself about is that like I see these other owners
21:42
with these younger animals that are more behaved than him and
21:48
all that, but I'm like, okay, no, I'm not gonna compare myself
21:51
to anyone else because at the end of the day, I'm doing my
21:56
best. I love him so much, and the when when I do have the time
22:02
for him, I'm always there. And then I think about it, I'm like,
22:08
wait, it's not that I don't have the time. He's with me 24/7. He
22:14
just wants to be a crazy boy. But also at the same time, I
22:18
know I need to be straight with him. But I think I do compare
22:22
quite a bit.
22:24
Coco Moon: I think we do this measuring in everyday life or in
22:29
our society, not just our relationship with our animals. I
22:33
think we measure looking at social media or compare yourself
22:40
with people in the magazine or something, the world is how do I
22:46
say it? Measuring is part of the world we live in. I think we do
22:52
that so much with ourselves, with our kids, with our animals.
22:58
But then I think it's important that we just pause and, like you
23:03
are saying, I know I'm doing my best. I know I'm good mom
23:09
defender
23:10
Emely: Yes, and I think that's like where like I also stop
23:17
myself from being like from overthinking so much because I'm
23:22
like okay. I'm in my early 20s. I am, you know, living on my own
23:28
without my parents. I have this amazing relationship. So so much
23:34
is changing my life as I'm getting into my 20s. That with
23:39
Fender, I also feel like getting him was such a big change. One
23:46
of the biggest changes, because I don't know how it feels to
23:50
have a human baby. I definitely know what it feels like to have
23:55
a fur baby, and they are knee deep, needy human babies-they
24:02
grow up, they become independent. They don't need us
24:05
too much as they need. But for babies, they will need us till
24:10
their end of life, and and that's one thing that also,
24:16
like, I think I think about too is that they have such much
24:21
shorter lifespan than we do, so like we deserve to give them the
24:28
world. Yes, the world. But yeah, I don't. I don't know. I just I
24:36
feel like definitely Fender was a big change, but in the best
24:42
way possible.
24:43
Coco Moon: Fender, you chose each other, right? Because even
24:48
same breed, different dog will be different than Fender. Fender
24:54
is one and only. Every single of those little souls are
24:59
different. So, before you got Fender, did you have a vision of
25:08
what a good dog is? How your life with a dog will be?
25:14
Emely: Growing up, I knew I always wanted a dog, but I
25:17
wanted to start off with cats first because I knew they were a
25:20
little bit easier. You didn't have to take them out or
25:23
anything. But before I got a dog, I would see all these
25:29
movies like Marley and Me. Have you seen that? It's so cute, but
25:34
it's so sad. And watching that movie, it's like the beginning.
25:41
He's a crazy dog. He's he's a bad boy, and then as he gets
25:47
older, he's very calm and literally is your best friend
25:52
and has been your best friend since a baby. But like, will not
25:56
leave your side at all. And I feel like at a young age, even
26:00
though they're energetic and all that, they're like, even though
26:03
I want to be by your side, I'm still gonna go do my own crazy
26:05
little thing. But then you get to this like stage in their life
26:11
that I feel like they like calm down and all of that. That like,
26:16
I don't know. I I always imagine that that's how having a dog
26:20
would be like, and right now I feel like I'm in the stage where
26:23
he's super crazy, so I'm not sure how the next stage will be,
26:27
and it makes me sad to think about the next stage. But yes, I
26:30
definitely did have a vision, so I want to go back a little bit
26:34
to what Fender is receiving from you. Oh, snacks, love. love
26:44
snacks love and I think definitely a lot of I don't know
26:50
how you would say this word like a lot of comfort. I constantly
26:55
want to be hugging him. I constantly like just like want
26:58
to be with him. I don't know if that's a bad thing to do as an
27:01
owner, but to me, I feel like it makes him happy and it makes me
27:05
happy. But like one thing is definitely just like the
27:11
constant affection.
27:14
Coco Moon: Tell me more about you. Just said I don't know if
27:17
it's a bad thing. Tell me more about that
27:20
Emely: because I've always heard that you know when you spoil
27:23
your kids too much, they grow up and turn out to be like more
27:30
like ignorant and snobby. I think that's like from what I've
27:34
read. I'm not sure that's how everyone feels, but just so you
27:39
know,
27:40
Coco Moon: your boyfriend, my youngest son, show was spoiled
27:44
to death. So I just want to throw that in there.
27:49
Emely: I hope you know that I love spoiling. Like growing up
27:55
with a younger brother and also having a sister that was so and
27:59
a mom that were so giving. I love to spoil the people I love.
28:05
Love to spoil the animals I love. Like it's my favorite
28:08
thing. But also, I don't know that like for an animal, for a
28:15
dog, if he thinks that I'm just letting him do whatever he
28:19
wants, like oh, you can just walk all over me because I'm
28:22
spoiling you, so sometimes I don't know if that's a good
28:26
thing all the time because he's very smart. He is very smart,
28:30
and I feel like he does know the times where I'm like you need to
28:35
listen to me, and he's like she won't get mad at me, so I'm
28:38
gonna keep doing whatever I want, and I think that becomes a
28:42
really big challenge as well because then I'm like I don't
28:46
want to like I don't want to like be upset with you because
28:51
you're not listening. But then I also hate being upset with him,
28:55
so it's just like such a confusing thing to be angry with
29:01
the animal I loved so much. It's it's confusing because I don't
29:05
it it doesn't even feel like anger. I'm just like you were
29:09
listening two minutes ago, but now that you're doing something
29:12
you shouldn't be doing, why aren't you listening? And I
29:16
think that's a really big challenge I faced with him too
29:19
because like I I don't like getting mad at my animals. It's
29:24
like I love them so much. Like they don't deserve to get mad
29:27
at. He's so smart. I'm like I know you know what you're doing
29:33
is wrong. He'll walk all over me, and that's why I'm like I
29:38
don't know if spoiling you as much as I do is a good thing or
29:43
a bad thing because I don't know if that's why you're you want to
29:48
walk all over me or I I don't I don't know because he does he is
29:55
very smart he has a very big brain and so I think. Those are
30:00
the little things that confuse me at times, where I'm like, I
30:04
don't know if I should always be spoiling you or being like, oh,
30:07
it's okay, baby. He doesn't be mad because I can't be mad at
30:12
him. It's so hard. It's so hard. Yeah, with their round, you
30:17
know, puppy.
30:18
Coco Moon: I resonate as pet parent, I think we all share the
30:24
challenges of parenting. Yes, and I always love how cats
30:32
usually get to be themselves. A lot of people say to their dogs,
30:36
"Wait before they can go to their football and start eating.
30:40
Cats get to be themselves, where dogs are typically be trained a
30:47
little more than I think. What I'm hearing is it all goes back
30:53
to measuring whether you are spoiling too much or too little.
30:58
Too little. So I think we need to tune into Fender in front of
31:06
you, and tune into what he is communicating with you, and you
31:14
will decide what's too much or what's too little.
31:19
Emely: And honestly, I think, especially since I've been
31:23
talking to you about, especially how you also take care of your
31:27
animals, I feel like that's something I've been
31:31
acknowledging with him too. Is just like, okay, you're
31:34
receiving way too much right now because Poco just gave me a
31:39
whole bunch of snacks for you, and I'm not going to give you
31:41
any. You're going to be like that. But I definitely think
31:47
that's something I've been realizing, and especially as
31:49
he's been getting older, for some reason I don't know. I'm
31:53
like, you are getting older, as if I was raising a human child.
31:58
I'm like, you're getting older. Like you need to straighten up
32:01
now, but one thing going back to what you said, you were like we
32:07
have to train them a little bit more than like cats, and I think
32:11
also one thing with like having a dog, especially, is if you
32:18
take them to places and all that, training them obviously is
32:21
very necessary because if something were to happen, you
32:24
know those other people would probably not be okay with what
32:28
happened, or like you never know what could happen. I think that
32:34
that's something that we definitely had to put training
32:39
into a lot because mana does go everywhere with you, and Fender,
32:45
I've been taking him to more places with me. He goes to work
32:47
with me every day. When the male people come, he gets so happy.
32:51
But at first, he was like, "Whoa! and I was like, "My
32:55
goodness, Fender, they're not gonna hurt you. And that's
33:00
something that I think, like you said, is very different. Like,
33:05
there's so much more training that goes into having a dog than
33:08
cats, and cats are still-they know what they're doing too.
33:11
They do, but I think that's something that I've definitely
33:18
have realized as well. Is that I have to put so much more
33:22
training into him, and even though I don't want to, like I
33:26
want him to be who he is, but you just never know how other
33:30
people or other animals will act outside if you're bringing them
33:34
around, and that's just something that scares me because
33:38
Fender's everything to me, so I wouldn't want anything to happen
33:43
without like him having all that training for me, and so that's
33:46
why I'm trying to do it right now. He just-it's like he has
33:51
like double A batteries surrounding his body. He's so
33:56
crazy. He's something.
34:00
Coco Moon: He is precious. Of course, all of them are so
34:03
precious. As far as training, I did extensive training with Mana
34:08
when I got her, and I keep doing it daily with her. But what I
34:15
learned the most from training Mana is that dog training is not
34:21
cookie cutter. One training manual doesn't fit to every dog.
34:28
Emely: Yes, and I agree with them 100%
34:31
Coco Moon: So I train Mana on the things that I needed. Safety
34:36
was one when the door opened. I didn't want her to dash out.
34:41
Yep. So that was very important, and because I do take Mana
34:45
everywhere with me, I need her to behave in public. But inside
34:51
home, she barks, she plays, and she just being herself in
34:57
because that is allowed outside of home when. We are in public.
35:01
I train her to behave in certain ways to be safe for her, for me,
35:07
and for everybody else. So I think it comes during offender.
35:10
So you need to decide what you need with fender. I think that's
35:17
really important. Training manual doesn't fit into every
35:21
talk. If Fender could tell you one thing he loves about life
35:27
with you, what do you think he would say?
35:30
Emely: Our talks, and just like I said earlier, like are his
35:36
vocals and like just how he responds to me. It's like
35:42
everything, everything to me, and I feel like I really
35:46
suffered with a lot of sadness too growing up. I always felt
35:49
really like, even though I had so much love in my life from my
35:53
family and my siblings, I feel like I never connected with an
35:58
animal this close. And so when I am able to speak to him, I'm
36:03
like, "You are my soul. Like you are my soul dog. You are
36:08
everything to me, and you are everything I needed in my life.
36:12
And I think if he could tell me, he'd be like, "Our talks with
36:16
you are everything to me, mom. And he'd call me his mummy, not
36:21
mom, but because I'm always like, hi, I'm your mommy, I'm
36:26
your mommy, and he's like, with his little nub.
36:32
Coco Moon: I really do think he would say our talks is the best
36:36
thing. Yes, I love that too, and I love you so much, Coco. Thank
36:42
you so much for this. This has made me acknowledge a lot about
36:45
him. I love you so. I'm gonna go home and give him the biggest
36:49
kiss and hug. Listening to Emily makes me wonder how often we
36:54
take a difficult moment in the relationship and turn it into
36:59
our verdict about ourselves. Maybe difficult. is just
37:04
information. It's not always reflection of us. You know,
37:10
something Emily is saying makes me think this isn't only about
37:15
our animals. Why do we sometimes translate struggle in the
37:19
relationship as evidence of personal failure. A difficult
37:25
moment becomes: I'm a bad dog mom, I'm a bad mother, I'm a bad
37:32
partner, I am a bad friend. But difficulty is information. It
37:38
isn't always a verdict. A relationship can need something
37:43
from us without that meaning we failed it. Loving someone well
37:49
doesn't mean never needing help. I wonder what happens when we
37:55
stop looking at a relationship only through the moments that
38:00
aren't working and look at the whole life. When you think about
38:05
your relationship with your fur baby, which moments do you tend
38:10
to notice most? And what might change if you also notice all
38:17
the ways you may be one of the good things in their life.
38:22
Before we say goodbye, I want to share this week's little love
38:26
message from my love message from your pet oracle with all of
38:32
us. This week's card is, "You're my happiness.
38:40
Emely: It's so cute.
38:41
Coco Moon: We spend so much time wondering whether we are making
38:45
them happy, but maybe every once in a while we can leave a little
38:51
room for the possibility that we are part of their happiness too.
38:57
Maybe you are one of the beautiful things that happen to
39:01
their life. Emichan, thank you so much for coming and having
39:06
family conversation with me on the couch with Mana and all my
39:11
boys, the cats. All of them, they're so cute. And Fender,
39:16
thank you for being exactly enough of a handful to give us
39:21
something worth talking about, and I love to hear what you and
39:27
your poor baby discover together this week. Until then, take
39:31
gentle care of yourself and your precious one, because your
39:36
happiness matters. Bye.