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046 - Once And Now · North and South

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  Speaker 1: Chapter forty six of North and South by Elizabeth Cleycorn Gaskell.
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  Speaker 1: This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in
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  Speaker 1: the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please
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  Speaker 1: visit LibriVox dot org. Recorded by Zara North and South
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  Speaker 1: by Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell, chapter forty six. Once and now,
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  Speaker 1: so on those happy days of yore, oft as I
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  Speaker 1: dare to dwell once more, still must I miss the
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  Speaker 1: friends so tried, whom death has severed from my side.
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  Speaker 1: But ever, when true friendship binds spirit, it is that
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  Speaker 1: spirit finds in spirit. Then are bliss we found in spirit?
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  Speaker 1: Yet to them I'm bound Uland Margaret was ready long
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  Speaker 1: before the appointed time, and had leisure enough to cry
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  Speaker 1: a little quietly when unobserved, and to smile brightly when
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  Speaker 1: anyone looked at her. Her last alarm was lest they
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  Speaker 1: should be too late and miss the train. But no,
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  Speaker 1: they were all in time, and she breathed freely and
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  Speaker 1: happily at length, seated in the carriage opposite to mister Bell,
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  Speaker 1: and whirling away past the well known stations, seeing the
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  Speaker 1: old South Country towns and hamlets, sleeping in the warm
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  Speaker 1: light of the pure sun, which gave a yet ruddier
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  Speaker 1: color to their tiled roofs, so different to the cold
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  Speaker 1: slates of the north. Broods of pigeons hovered around these
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  Speaker 1: peaked quaint gables, slowly settling here and there and ruffling
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  Speaker 1: their soft shiny feathers, as if exposing every fiber to
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  Speaker 1: the delicious warmth. There were few people about at the stations.
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  Speaker 1: It almost seemed as if they were too lazily content
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  Speaker 1: to wish to travel. None of the bustle and stir
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  Speaker 1: that Margaret had noticed in her two journeys on the
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  Speaker 1: London and Northwestern Line later on in the year. This
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  Speaker 1: line of railway should be stirring and alive with rich
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  Speaker 1: pleasure seekers, but as to the constant going to and
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  Speaker 1: fro of busy tradespeople would always be widely different from
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  Speaker 1: the northern lines. Here, a spectator or two stood lounging
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  Speaker 1: at nearly every station with his hands in his pockets,
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  Speaker 1: so absorbed in the simple act of watching that it
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  Speaker 1: made the travelers wonder what he could find to do
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  Speaker 1: when the train whirled away, and only the blank of
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  Speaker 1: a railway, some sheds and a distant field or two
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  Speaker 1: were left for him. To gaze upon the hot air,
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  Speaker 1: danced over the golden stillness of the land. Farm after
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  Speaker 1: farm was left behind, each reminding market of German idols,
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  Speaker 1: of Hermann and Dorothea, of Evangeline. From this waking dream
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  Speaker 1: she was roused. It was the place to leave the
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  Speaker 1: train and take the fly to Helstone. And now sharper
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  Speaker 1: feelings came shooting through her heart. Whether pain or pleasure,
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  Speaker 1: she could hardly tell. Every mile was redolent of associations
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  Speaker 1: which she would not have missed for the world, but
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  Speaker 1: each of which made her cry upon the days that
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  Speaker 1: are no more, with ineffable longing. The last time she
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  Speaker 1: had passed along this road was when she had left
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  Speaker 1: it with her father and mother the day. The season
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  Speaker 1: had been gloomy and she herself hopeless, but they were
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  Speaker 1: there with her. Now she was alone, an orphan, and
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  Speaker 1: they strangely had gone away from her and vanished from
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  Speaker 1: the face of the earth. It hurt her to see
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  Speaker 1: the Helstone road so flooded in the sunlight, and every
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  Speaker 1: turn and every familiar tree so precisely the same in
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  Speaker 1: its summer glory as it had been in former years.
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  Speaker 1: Nature felt no change, and was ever young mister Bell
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  Speaker 1: knew something of what would be passing through her mind,
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  Speaker 1: and wisely and kindly held his tongue. They drove up
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  Speaker 1: to the Lennard arms, half farm house, half inn, standing
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  Speaker 1: a little apart from the road, as much as to
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  Speaker 1: say that the host did not so depend on the
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  Speaker 1: custom of travelers as to have to court it by
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  Speaker 1: any obtrusiveness. They rather must seek him out. The house
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  Speaker 1: fronted the village green, and right before it stood an
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  Speaker 1: immemorial lime tree, benched all around in some hidden recesses,
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  Speaker 1: of whose leafy wealth hung the grim yustation of the Lennards.
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  Speaker 1: The door of the inn stood wide open, but there
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  Speaker 1: was no hospitable hurry to receive the travelers. When the
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  Speaker 1: landlady did appear, and they might have abstracted many an article. First,
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  Speaker 1: she gave them a kind welcome, almost as if they
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  Speaker 1: had been invited guests, and apologized for her coming having
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  Speaker 1: been so delayed, by saying that it was hay time
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  Speaker 1: and the provisions for the men had to be sent
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  Speaker 1: a field, and she had been too busy packing up
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  Speaker 1: the baskets to hear the noise of wheels over the road, which,
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  Speaker 1: since they had left the highway, ran over short soft turf.
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  Speaker 1: Why bless me, exclaimed she as at the end of
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  Speaker 1: her apology. A glint of sunlight showed her Margaret's face
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  Speaker 1: hitherto unobserved in that shady parlor. It's miss Hale, Jenny said,
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  Speaker 1: she running to the door and calling to her daughter,
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  Speaker 1: come here, come directly. It's miss Hale. And then she
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  Speaker 1: went up to Margaret and shook her hands with motherly fondness.
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  Speaker 1: And how are you all? How's the vicar? And Miss Dixon?
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  Speaker 1: The vicar above all, God bless him. We've never ceased
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  Speaker 1: to be sorry that he left. Margaret tried to speak
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  Speaker 1: and tell of her father's death, of for mothers. It
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  Speaker 1: was evident that missus Purkis was aware from her omission
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  Speaker 1: of her name. But she choked in the effort and
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  Speaker 1: could only touch her deep mourning and say the one word, Papa. Surely, sir,
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  Speaker 1: it's never so, said Missus Purkis, turning to mister Bell
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  Speaker 1: for confirmation of the sad suspicion that now entered her mind.
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  Speaker 1: There was a gentleman here in the spring, it might
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  Speaker 1: have been as long ago as last winter, who told
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  Speaker 1: us a deal of mister Hale and miss Margaret, and
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  Speaker 1: he said missus Hale was gone, poor lady, but never
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  Speaker 1: a word of the vicar's being ailing. It is so, however,
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  Speaker 1: said mister Bell. He died quite suddenly when on a
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  Speaker 1: visit to me at Oxford. He was a good man,
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  Speaker 1: missus purkis, and there's many of us that might be
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  Speaker 1: thankful to us have had as calm an end as his.
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  Speaker 1: Come Margaret, my dear her father was my oldest friend,
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  Speaker 1: and she's my god daughter. So I thought we would
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  Speaker 1: just come down together and see the old place. And
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  Speaker 1: I know of old that you can give us comfortable
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  Speaker 1: rooms and a capital dinner. You don't remember me, I see,
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  Speaker 1: but my name is Bell, And once or twice, when
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  Speaker 1: the parsonage husband full, I've slept here and tasted your
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  Speaker 1: good ale. To be sure, I ask your pardon, But
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  Speaker 1: you see I was taken up with miss Hale. Let
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  Speaker 1: me show you to a room, miss Margaret, where you
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  Speaker 1: can take off your bonnet and wash your face. It's
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  Speaker 1: only this very morning I plunged some fresh gathered roses,
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  Speaker 1: head downward in the water jug for thought I perhaps
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  Speaker 1: some one will be coming. And there's nothing so sweet
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  Speaker 1: as spring water scented by a musk rose or two.
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  Speaker 1: To think of the vicar being dead, well, to be
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  Speaker 1: sure we must all die. Only that gentleman said, he
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  Speaker 1: was quite picking up after his trouble about Missus Hale's death.
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  Speaker 1: Come down to me, missus Purkis, after you have attended
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  Speaker 1: to miss Hale, I want to have a consultation with
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  Speaker 1: you about dinner. The little casement window in Margaret's bed
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  Speaker 1: chamber was almost filled up with rose and vine branches,
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  Speaker 1: but pushing them aside and stretching a little out, she
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  Speaker 1: could see the tops of the parsonage chimneys above the trees,
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  Speaker 1: and distinguish many a well known line through the leaves,
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  Speaker 1: I said, Missus Purkis, smoothing down the bed and dispatching
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  Speaker 1: Jenny for an armful of lavender scented towels. Times has changed,
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  Speaker 1: miss our new vicar has seven children and is building
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  Speaker 1: a nursery ready for more, just out where the arbor
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  Speaker 1: and tool house used to be an old times. And
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  Speaker 1: he has had new grates put in and a plate
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  Speaker 1: glass window in the drawing room. He and his wife
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  Speaker 1: are stirring people and have done a deal of good.
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  Speaker 1: At least they say it's doing good. If it were not,
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  Speaker 1: I should call it turning things upside down for very
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  Speaker 1: little purpose. The new vicar is a teito toller miss
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  Speaker 1: and a magistrate, and his wife has a deal of
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  Speaker 1: receipts for economical cooking and is for making bread without yeast.
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  Speaker 1: And they both talk so much, and both at a
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  Speaker 1: time that they knock one down, as it were. And
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  Speaker 1: it's not till they're gone, and one's a little at
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  Speaker 1: peace that one can think that there were things one
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  Speaker 1: might have said on one's own side of the question.
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  Speaker 1: He'll be after the men's hands in the hay field
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  Speaker 1: and peeping in, and then they'll be an ado because
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  Speaker 1: it's not ginger beer. But I can't help it. My
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  Speaker 1: mother and my grandmother before me sent good malt liquor
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  Speaker 1: to haymakers, and took salts and senna when anything ailed them,
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  Speaker 1: And I must e'n go on in their ways. Though
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  Speaker 1: missus Hepworth does want to give me comfits instead of medicine,
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  Speaker 1: which as she says, is a deal pleasanter, only I've
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  Speaker 1: no faith in it. But I must go, miss though
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  Speaker 1: I'm wanting to hear many a thing. I'll come back
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  Speaker 1: to you. Before long, mister Bell had strawberries and cream,
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  Speaker 1: a loaf of brown bread, and a jug of milk,
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  Speaker 1: together with a stilton cheese, and a bottle of port
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  Speaker 1: for his own private refreshment, ready for Margaret on her
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  Speaker 1: coming downstairs. And after this rustic luncheon, they set out
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  Speaker 1: to walk, hardly knowing in what direction to turn. So
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  Speaker 1: many old familiar inducements were there in each. Shall we
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  Speaker 1: go past the vicarage, asked mister Bell. No, not yet.
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  Speaker 1: We will go this way and make a round so
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  Speaker 1: as to come back by it, replied Margaret. Here and
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  Speaker 1: there old trees had been felled the autumn before, or
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  Speaker 1: a squatter's roughly built and decaying cottage had disappeared. Margaret
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  Speaker 1: missed them each and all, and grieved over them like
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  Speaker 1: old friends. They came past the spot where she and
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  Speaker 1: mister Lennox had sketched the white, lightning scarred trunk of
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  Speaker 1: the venerable beech among whose roots they had sate down.
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  Speaker 1: Was there no more? The old man, the inhabitant of
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  Speaker 1: the ruinous cottage, was dead. The cottage had been pulled down,
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  Speaker 1: and a new one, tidy and respectable, had been built
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  Speaker 1: in its stead. There was a small garden on the
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  Speaker 1: place where the beech tree had been. I did not
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  Speaker 1: think I had been so old, said Margaret, after a
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  Speaker 1: pause of silence, as she turned away, sighing, Yes, said
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  Speaker 1: mister Bell. It is the first changes among familiar things
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  Speaker 1: that make such a mystery of time to the young.
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  Speaker 1: Afterwards we lose the sense of the mysterious. I take changes,
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  Speaker 1: and all I see is a matter of course. The
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  Speaker 1: instability of all human things is familiar to me. To you,
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  Speaker 1: it is new and oppressive. Let us go on to
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  Speaker 1: see little Susan, said Margaret, drawing her companion up a
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  Speaker 1: grassy roadway leading under the shadow of a forest glade.
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  Speaker 1: With all my heart, though I have not an idea
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  Speaker 1: who little Susan may be, but I have a kindness
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  Speaker 1: for all Susan's, for simple Susan's sake. My little Susan
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  Speaker 1: was disappointed when I left without wishing her goodbye, and
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  Speaker 1: it has been on my conscience ever since that I
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  Speaker 1: gave her pain, which a little more exertion on my
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  Speaker 1: part might have prevented. But it is a long way.
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  Speaker 1: Are you sure you will not be tired? Quite sure,
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  Speaker 1: that is, if you don't walk so fast you see
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  Speaker 1: here there are no views that can give one an
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  Speaker 1: excuse use for stopping to take breath. You would think
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  Speaker 1: it romantic to be walking with a person fat and
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  Speaker 1: scant of breath. If I were Hamlet, Prince of Denmark,
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  Speaker 1: have compassion on my infirmities for his sake, I will
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  Speaker 1: walk slower for your own sake. I like you twenty
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  Speaker 1: times better than Hamlet, on the principle that a living
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  Speaker 1: ass is better than a dead lion. Perhaps so I
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  Speaker 1: don't analyze my feelings. I am content to take your
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  Speaker 1: liking me without examining too curiously into the materials it
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  Speaker 1: is made of. Only we need not walk at a
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  Speaker 1: snail's pace. Very well, walk at your own pace, and
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  Speaker 1: I will follow, or stop still and meditate like the
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  Speaker 1: Hamlet you compare yourself to. If I go too fast,
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  Speaker 1: thank you. But as my mother has not murdered my
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  Speaker 1: father and afterwards married my uncle, I shouldn't know what
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  Speaker 1: to think about unless it were balancing the chances of
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  Speaker 1: our having a well cooked dinner or not. What do
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  Speaker 1: you think I am? In good hopes? She used to
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  Speaker 1: be considered a famous cook as far as Helston opinion went.
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  Speaker 1: But have you considered the distraction of mine produced by
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  Speaker 1: all this haymaking. Margaret felt all mister Bell's kindness in
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  Speaker 1: trying to make cheerful talk about nothing to endeavor to
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  Speaker 1: prevent her from thinking too curiously about the past. But
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  Speaker 1: she would rather have gone over these dear loved walks
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  Speaker 1: in silence, if indeed she were not ungrateful enough to
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  Speaker 1: wish that she might have been alone. They reached the
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  Speaker 1: cottage where Susan's widowed mother lived. Susan was not there.
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  Speaker 1: She was gone to the parochial school. Margaret was disappointed,
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  Speaker 1: and the poor woman saw it and began to make
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  Speaker 1: a kind of apology. Oh it is quite right, said Margaret.
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  Speaker 1: I am very glad to hear it. I might have
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  Speaker 1: thought of it. Only she used to stop at home
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  Speaker 1: with you. Yes she did, and I miss her sadly.
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  Speaker 1: I used to teach her what little I knew at nights.
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  Speaker 1: It were not much, to be sure, but she were
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  Speaker 1: getting such a handy girl that I miss her sore.
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  Speaker 1: But she's a deal above me in learning now. And
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  Speaker 1: the mother sighed, I'm all wrong, growled mister Bell. Don't
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  Speaker 1: mind what I say. I'm a hundred years behind the world,
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  Speaker 1: but I should say that the child was getting a
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  Speaker 1: better and simpler and more natural education, stopping at home
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  Speaker 1: and helping her mother and learning to read a chapter
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  Speaker 1: in the New Testament every night by her side, than
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  Speaker 1: from all the schooling under the sun. Margaret did not
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  Speaker 1: want to encourage him to go on by replying to
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  Speaker 1: him and so prolonging the discussion before the mother, so
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: she turned to her and asked, how is old Betty Barnes?
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  Speaker 1: I don't know, said the woman rather shortly. We's not friends.
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  Speaker 1: Why not, said Margaret, who had formerly been the peacemaker
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  Speaker 1: of the village. She stole my cat? Did she know
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  Speaker 1: it was yours? I don't know. I reckoned not well,
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  Speaker 1: could you not get it back again when you told
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  Speaker 1: her it was yours? No, for she'd burnt it. Burnt it,
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  Speaker 1: exclaimed both Margaret and mister Bell. Roasted it, explained the woman.
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  Speaker 1: It was no explanation. By dint of questioning, Margaret extracted
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  Speaker 1: from her the horrible fact that Betty Barnes, having been
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  Speaker 1: induced by a gipsy fortune teller to lend the latter
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  Speaker 1: her husband's Sunday clothes on promise of having them faithfully
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  Speaker 1: returned on the Saturday night before Goodman Barnes should have
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  Speaker 1: missed them, became alarmed by their non appearance and her
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  Speaker 1: consequent dread of her husband's anger, And, as according to
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  Speaker 1: one of the sad average country superstitions, the cries of
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  Speaker 1: a cat in the agonies of being boiled or roasted
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  Speaker 1: alive compelled, as it were, the powers of darkness to
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  Speaker 1: fulfill the wishes of the executioner. Resort had been had
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  Speaker 1: to the charm. The poor woman evidently believed in its efficacy.
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  Speaker 1: Her only feeling was indignation that her cat had been
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  Speaker 1: chosen from all others for a sacrifice. Margaret listened in
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  Speaker 1: horror and endeavored in vain to enlighten the woman's mind,
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  Speaker 1: but she was obliged to give it up in despair.
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  Speaker 1: Step by step she got the woman to admit certain
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  Speaker 1: facts of which the logical connection and sequence was perfectly
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  Speaker 1: clear to Margaret. But at the end the bewildered woman
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  Speaker 1: simply repeated her first assertion, namely that it were very cruel,
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  Speaker 1: for sure, and she should not like to do it,
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  Speaker 1: but that there were nothing like it for giving a
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  Speaker 1: person what they wished for. She had heard it all
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  Speaker 1: her life, but it were very cruel For all that,
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  Speaker 1: Margaret gave it up in despair and walked away, sick
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  Speaker 1: at heart. You are a good girl, not to triumph
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  Speaker 1: over me, said mister Bell. How what do you mean,
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  Speaker 1: I own I am wrong about schooling anything. Rather, and
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  Speaker 1: have that child brought up in such practical paganism. Oh,
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  Speaker 1: I remember poor little Susan. I must go and see her.
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  Speaker 1: Would you mind calling at the school? Not a bit.
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  Speaker 1: I am curious to see something of the teaching she
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  Speaker 1: is to receive. They did not speak much more, but
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  Speaker 1: threaded their way through many a bosky dell, whose soft
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  Speaker 1: green influence could not charm away the shock and the
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  Speaker 1: pain in Margaret's heart caused by the recital of such cruelty.
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  Speaker 1: A recital, too, the manner of which betrayed such utter
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  Speaker 1: want of imagination and therefore of any sympathy with the
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: suffering animal. The buzz of voices, like the murmur of
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: a hive of busy human bees, made itself heard as
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: soon as they emerged from the forest. On the more
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: open village green on which the school was situated. The
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: door was wide open, and they entered a brisk lady
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  Speaker 1: in black here, there, and everywhere perceived them and bade
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  Speaker 1: them welcome, with somewhat of the hostess air which Margaret
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: remembered her mother was wont to assume, only in more
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  Speaker 1: soft and languid manner. When any rare visitor strayed in
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  Speaker 1: to inspect the school, she knew at once it was
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  Speaker 1: the present vicar's wife, her mother's successor, and she would
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  Speaker 1: have drawn back from the interview had it been possible.
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  Speaker 1: But in an instant she had conquered this feeling and
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  Speaker 1: modestly advanced, meeting many a bright glance of recognition, and
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  Speaker 1: hearing many a half suppressed murmur of it's miss Hale.
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  Speaker 1: The vicar's lady heard the name, and her manner at
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  Speaker 1: once became more kindly. Margaret wished she could have helped,
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: feeling that it also became more patronizing. The lady held
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  Speaker 1: out a hand to mister Bell, with ah, I see
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  Speaker 1: you would like to take a class, miss Hale. I
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  Speaker 1: know it myself first class. Stand up for a parsing
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  Speaker 1: lesson with miss Hale. Poor Margaret, whose visit was sentimental
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  Speaker 1: not in any degree inspective, felt herself taken in, but
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  Speaker 1: as in some way bringing her in contact with little
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  Speaker 1: eager faces, once well known, and who had received the
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  Speaker 1: solemn rite of baptism from her father. She sate down,
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  Speaker 1: half losing herself and tracing out the changing features of
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  Speaker 1: the girls, and holding Susan's hand for a minute or two,
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  Speaker 1: unobserved by all, while the first class sought for their books,
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  Speaker 1: and the vicar's lady went as near a lady could towards,
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  Speaker 1: holding mister Bell by the button while she explained the
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: phonetic system to him and gave him a conversation that
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: she had had with the inspector about it. Margaret bent
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: over her book, and seeing nothing but that hearing the
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: buzz of children's voices, old times rose up, and she
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: thought of them, and her eyes filled with tears, till
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: all at once there was a pause. One of the
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: girls was stumbling over the apparently simple word ay, uncertain
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: what to call it ay an indefinite article, said Margaret mildly.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: I beg your pardon, said the vicar's wife, all eyes
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: and ears, but we are taught by mister Milsom to
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: call ay. And who can remember an adjective? Absolute? Said
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: half a dozen voices at once, and Margaret said abashed.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: The children knew more than she did. Mister Bell turned
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: away and smiled. Margaret spoke no more during the lesson,
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: but after it was over she went quietly round to
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: one or two old favorites and talked to them a little.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: They were growing out of children into great girls, passing
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: out of her recollection in their rapid development, as she,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: by her three years absence, was vanishing from theirs. Still
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: she was glad to have seen them all again, though
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: a tinge of sadness mixed itself with her pleasure. When
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: school was over for the day, it was yet early
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: in the summer afternoon, and missus Hepworth proposed to Margaret
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: that she and mister Bell should accompany her to the
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: parsonage and see the The word improvements had half slipped
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: out of her mouth, but she substituted the more cautious
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: term alterations which the present vicar was making. Margaret did
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: not care a straw about seeing the alterations, which jarred
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: upon her fond recollection of what her home had been.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: But she longed to see the old place once more,
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: even though she shivered away from the pain which she
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: knew she would feel. The parsonage was so altered. Both
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: inside and out, that the real pain was less than
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: she had anticipated. It was not like the same place.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: The garden, the grass plat, formerly so daintily trimmed that
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: even a stray rose leaf seemed like a fleck on
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: its exquisite arrangement propriety, was strewn with children's things. A
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: bag of marbles here, a hoop there, a straw hat
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: forced down upon a rose tree as on a peg,
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: to the destruction of a long, beautiful, tender branch, laden
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: with flowers, which in former days would have been trained
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: up tenderly as if beloved. The little square, matted hall
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: was equally filled with signs of merry, healthy, rough childhood. Ah,
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: said missus Hepworth. You must excuse this untidiness, miss Hale.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: When the nursery is finished, I shall insist upon a
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: little order. We are building a nursery out of your room.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: I believe how did you manage, miss Hale without a nursery.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: We were but two, said Margaret. You have many children,
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: I presume seven. Look here we are throwing out a
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: window to the road on this side. Mister Hepworth is
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: spending an immense deal of money on this house. But
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: really it was scarcely habitable when we came for so
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: large a family as ours. I mean, of course, every
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: room in the house was changed, besides the one of
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: which Missus Hepworth spoke, which had been mister Hale's study formerly,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: and where the green gloom and delicious quiet of the
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: place had conduced, as he had said, to a habit
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: of meditation, but perhaps in some degree to the formation
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: of a character more fitted for thought than action. The
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: new window gave a view of the road and had
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: many advantage, as Missus Hepworth pointed out, from it, the
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: wandering shape of her husband's flock might be seen who
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: straggled to the tempting beer house, unobserved, as they might hope,
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: but not unobserved in reality, for the active vicar kept
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: his eye on the road even during the composition of
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: his most orthodox sermons, and had a hat and stick
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: hanging ready at hand to seize before sallying out after
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: his parishioners, who had need of quick legs if they
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: could take refuge in the jolly forester before the teetotal
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: vicar had arrested them. The whole family were quick, brisk,
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: loud talking, kind hearted, and not troubled with much delicacy
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: of perception. Margaret feared that missus Hepworth would find out
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: that mister Bell was playing upon her in the admiration
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: he thought fit to express for everything that especially grated
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: on his taste. But no, she took it all little,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: and with such good faith that Margaret could not help
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: remonstrating with him as they walked slowly away from the
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: parsonage back to their inn. Don't scold, Margaret, it was
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: all because of you. If she had not shown you
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: every change with such evident exultation in their superior sense,
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: in perceiving what an improvement this and that would be.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: I could have behaved well. But if you must go
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: on preaching, keep it till after dinner, when it will
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: send me to sleep and help my digestion. They were
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: both of them tired, and Margaret herself so much so
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: that she was unwilling to go out as she had
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: proposed to do and have another ramble among the woods
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: and fields so close to the home of her childhood.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: And somehow this visit to Helstone had not been all,
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: had not been exactly what she had expected. There was
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: change everywhere, slight yet pervading. All households were changed by absence,
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: or death, or marriage, or the natural mutations brought by
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: days and months and years which carry us on imperceptibly
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: from childhood to youth, and thence through manhood to age.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Whence we dropped, like fruit fully ripe into the quiet
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: mother earth. Places were changed. A tree gone here abough there,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: bringing in a long ray of light where no light
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: was before. A road was trimmed and narrowed, and the
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: green straggling pathway by its side enclosed and cultivated. A
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: great improvement, it was called. But Margaret sighed over the
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: old picturesqueness, the old gloom, and the grassy wayside of
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: former days. She sate by the window on the little settle,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: sadly gazing out upon the gathering shades of night, which
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: harmonized well with her pensive thought. Mister Bell slept soundly
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: after his unusual exercise through the day. At last he
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: was roused by the entrance of the tea tray, brought
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: in by a flushed looking country girl, who had evidently
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: been finding some variety from her usual occupation of waiter
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: in assisting this day in the hay field hullo who's there?
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Where are we? Who's that? Margaret? Oh, now I remember all.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: I could not imagine what woman was sitting there in
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: such a doleful attitude, with her hands clasped straight out
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: upon her knees, and her face looking so steadfastly before her.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: What were you looking at? Asked mister Bell, coming to
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: the window and standing behind Margaret. Nothing, said she, rising
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: up quickly and speaking as cheerfully as she could at
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: a moment's notice. Nothing indeed, a bleak background of trees,
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: some white linen hung out on the sweet briar hedge
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: in a great waft of damp air. Shut the window,
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: and come in and make tea. Margaret was silent for
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: some time. She played with her tea spoon, and did
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: not attend particularly to what mister Bell said. He contradicted her,
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: and she took the same sort of smiling notice of
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: his opinion as if he had agreed with her. Then
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: she sighed, and putting down her spoon, she began apropos
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: of nothing at all, and in the high pitched voice
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: which usually shows that the speaker has been thinking for
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: some time on the subject that they wished to introduce.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: Mister Bell, you remember what we were saying about Frederick
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: last night? Don't you last night? Where was I? Oh?
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I remember why? It seems a week ago. Yes, to
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: be sure, I recollect, we talked about him, poor fellow. Yes,
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: and do you not remember that mister Lennox spoke about
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: his having been in England about the time of dear
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Mamma's death, asked Margaret, her voice now lower than usual.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: I recollect. I hadn't heard of it before, and I
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: thought I always thought that Papa had told you about it. No,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: he never did. But what about it, Margaret? I want
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: to tell you of something I did that was very
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: wrong about that time, said Margaret, suddenly looking up at
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: him with her clear, honest eyes. I told a lie
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: and her face became scarlet. True, that was bad, I
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: own not. But what I have told a pretty round
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: number in my life, not all in downright words, as
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: I suppose you did, but in actions or in some
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: shabby circumulocuciery way, leading people either to disbelieve the truth
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: or believe a falsehood. You know who is the father
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: of lies, Margaret? Well, A great number of folk, thinking
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: themselves very good, have odds or of connection with lies.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Left handed marriages and second cousins once removed. The tainting
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: blood of falsehood runs through us. All. I should have
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: guessed you as far from it as most people. What, crying, child, Nay,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: now we'll not talk of it. If it ends in
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: this way, I dare say you have been sorry for it,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: and that you won't do it again. And it's long
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: ago now, And in short, I want you to be
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: very cheerful and not very sad this evening. Margaret wiped
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: her eyes and tried to talk about something else, but
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: suddenly she burst out afresh. Please, mister Bell, let me
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: tell you about it. You could perhaps help me a little, No,
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: not help me, but if you knew the truth, perhaps
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: you could put me to rights. Oh that's not it
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: after all, said she, in despair at not being able
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: to express herself more exactly as she wished. Mister Bell's
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: whole manner changed. Tell me all about it, child, said he.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: It's a long story. But when Fred came, Mamma was
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: very ill, and I was undone with anxiety, and afraid
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: too that I might have drawn him into danger. And
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: we had an alarm just after her. For Dixon met
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: some one in Milton, a man called Leonards, who had
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: known Fred, and who seemed to owe him a grudge
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: or at any rate to be tempted by the recollection
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: of the reward offered for his apprehension. And with this
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: new fright, I thought I had better hurry off Fred
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: to London. Where As you would understand from what we
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: said the other night, he was to go to consult
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: mister Lennox as to his chance as if he stood
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: the trial. So we that as he and I went
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: to the railway station, it was one evening, and it
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: was just getting rather dusk, but still light enough to
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: recognize and be recognized. And we were too early and
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: went out to walk at a field just coast by.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: I was always in a panic about this Leonards, who
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: was I knew somewhere in the neighborhood. And then when
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: we were in the field, the low red sunlight just
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: in my face, some one came by on horseback in
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: the road just below the field style by which we stood.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: I saw him look at me, but I did not
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: know who it was at first the sun was so
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: in my eyes, But in an instant the dazzle went
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: off and I saw it was mister Thornton, and we
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: bowed and he saw Frederick, of course, said mister Bell,
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: helping her on with her story. As he thought, yes.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: And then at the station a man came up, tipsy
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: and reeling, and he tried to callar Fred and overbalanced
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: himself as Fred wrenched himself away and fell over the
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: edge of the platform, not far, not deep, not above
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: three feet. But oh, mister Bell, somehow that fall killed him.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: How awkward it was, this Leonards, I suppose. And how
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: did Fred get off? Oh? He went off immediately after
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: the fall, which we never thought could have done the
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: poor fellow any harm. It seemed so slight an injury.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: Then he did not die directly, no, not for two
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: or three days. And then, oh, mister Bell, now comes
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: the bad part, said she nervously, twining her fingers together.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: A police inspector came and taxed me with having been
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: the companion of the young man whose push or blow
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: had occasioned Leonard's death. That was a false accusation, you know,
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: But we had not heard that Fred had sailed. He
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: might still be in London and liable to be arrested
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: on this false charge, and his identity with the Lieutenant
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Hale accused of causing that mutant. He discovered he might
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: be shot, and all this flashed through my mind, and
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: I said it was not me. I was not at
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: the railway station that night. I knew nothing about it.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I had no conscience or thought but to save Frederick.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: I say it was right. I should have done the same.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: You forgot yourself in thought for another. I hope I
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: should have done the same. No, you would not. It
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: was wrong, disobedient, faithless. At that very time, fred was
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: safely out of England, and in my blindness I forgot
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: that there was another witness who could testify to my
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: being there. Who mister Thornton. You know, he had seen
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: me close to the station, we had bowed to each other. Well,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: he would know nothing of this riot about the drunken
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: fellow's death. I suppose the inquiry never came to anything. No,
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: the proceedings they had begun to talk about on the
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: incoast were stopped. Mister Thornton did know all about it.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: He was a magistrate, and he found out that it
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: was not the fall that had caused the death. But
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: not before he knew what I had said. Oh, mister Bell,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: She saiddly covered her face with her hands, as if
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: wishing to hide herself from the presence of the recollection.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Did you have any explanation with him? Did you ever
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: tell him the strong instinctive motive, the instinctive want of
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: faith and clutching at a sin to keep myself from sinking?
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Said she bitterly. No, How could I? He knew nothing
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: of Frederick to put myself to rights in his good opinion?
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: Was I to tell him the secrets of our family,
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: involving as they seemed to do the chances of poor
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Frederick's entire exulpation. Fred's last words had been to enjoin
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: me to keep his visit a secret from all. You see,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: Papa never told even you. No I could bear the shame.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: I thought I could. At least I did bear it.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Mister Thornton has never respected me since he respects you,
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: I am sure, said mister Bell. To be sure, it
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: counts a little for but he always speaks of you
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: with regard and esteem. Though now I understand certain reservations
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: in his manner. Margaret did not speak, did not attend
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: to what mister Bell went on to say, lost all
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: sense of it. By and by she said, will you
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: tell me what you refer to about reservations in his
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: manner of speaking of me. Oh, simply, he has annoyed
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: me by not joining in my praises of you. Like
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: an old fool. I thought every one would have the
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: same opinions as I had, and he evidently could not
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: agree with me. I was puzzled at the time. But
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: he must be perplexed if the affair has never been
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: in the least explained. There was first your walking out
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: with a young man in the dark. But it was
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: my brother, said Margaret, surprised. True, But how was he
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: to know that. I don't know. I never thought of
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: anything of that kind, said Margaret, reddening and looking hurt
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: and offended. And perhaps he never would. But for the lie,
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: which under the circumstances I maintain was necessary, it was not.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I know it now I bitterly repent it. There was
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: a long pause of silence. Margaret was the first to speak,
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: I am not lied to see mister Thornton again, And
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: there she stopped. There are many things more unlikely, I
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: should say, replied mister Bell, but I believe I never shall. Still, somehow,
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: one does not like to have sunk so low in
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: in a friend's opinion, as I have done in his.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: Her eyes were full of tears, but her voice was steady,
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: and mister Bell was not looking at her. And now
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: that Frederick has given up all hope and almost all
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: wish of ever clearing himself and returning to England, it
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: would be only doing myself justice to have all this explained,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: if you will please, and if you can, if there
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: is a good opportunity, don't force an explanation on him, pray,
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: but if you can, will tell him the whole circumstances,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: and tell him also that I gave you leave to
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: do so because I felt that for Papa's sake, I
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: should not like to lose his respect. Though we may
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: never be likely to meet again, certainly I think he
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: ought to know I do not like you to rest
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: even under the shadow of an impropriety. He would not
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: know what to think of seeing you alone with a
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: young man. As for that, said Margaret, rather haughtily. I
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: hold as a hawny swined cree ali Pence. Yet still
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: I should choose to have it explained if any natural
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: opportunity for easy explanation occurs. But it is not to
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: clear myself of any suspicion of improper conduct that I
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: wish to have him told if I thought that he
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: had suspected me, I should not care for his good opinion. No,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: it is that he may learn how I was tempted
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: and how I fell into the snare. Why I told
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: that falsehood in short, which I don't blame you for
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: it is no partiality of mine. I assure you what
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: other people may think of the rightness or wrongness as
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: nothing in comparison to my own deep knowledge, my innate
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: conviction that it was wrong. But we will not talk
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: of that any more. If you please, it is done.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: My sin is sinned. I have now to put it
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: behind me and be truthful for evermore if I can
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: very well. If you like to be uncomfortable and morbid,
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: be so. I always keep my conscience as tight, shut
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: up as a jack in a box, For when it
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: jumps into existence, it surprises me by its size. So
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: I coax it down again, as the fisherman coaxed the genie. Wonderful,
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: say I to think that you have been concealed so
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: long and in so small a compass, that I really
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: did not know of your existence. Pray, sir, instead of
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: growing larger and larger every instant, and bewildering me with
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: your misty outlines. Would you once more compress yourself into
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: your former dimensions? And when I've got him down, don't
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: I clasp the seal on the vase and take good
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: care how I open it again? And how I go
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: against Solomon wisest of men who confined him there. But
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: it was no smiling matter to Margaret. She hardly attended
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: to what mister Bell was saying. Her thoughts ran upon
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: the idea before entertained, but which now had assumed the
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: strength of a conviction that mister Thornton no longer held
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: his former good opinion of her, that he was disappointed
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: in her. She did not feel as if any explanation
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: could ever reinstate her, not in his love for that
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: in any return on her part, she had resolved never
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: to dwellop, and she kept rigidly to her resolution, but
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: in the respect and high regard which she had hoped
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: would ever have made him willing, in the spirit of
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: Gerald Griffin's beautiful lines, to turn and look back when
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: thou hearest the sound of my name. She kept choking
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: and swallowing all the time that she thought about it.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: She tried to comfort herself with the idea that what
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: he imagined her to be did not alter the fact
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: of what she was. But it was a truism, a phantom,
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: and broke down under the weight of her regret. She
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: had twenty questions on the tip of her tongue to
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: ask mister Bell, but not one of them did she utter.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Mister Bell thought that she was tired, and sent her
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: early to her room, where she sate long hours by
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: the open window, gazing out on the purple dome above,
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: where the stars arose and twinkled and disappeared behind the
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: great umbrageous trees. Before she went to bed. All night long, too,
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: there burnt a little light on earth, a candle in
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: her old bedroom, which was the nursery with the present
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: inhabitants of the parsonage until the new one was built.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: A sense of change, of individual nothingness, of perplexity and
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: disappointment overpowered Margaret. Nothing had been the same, and this slight,
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: all pervading instability, had given her greater pain than if
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: all had been too entirely changed for her to recognize it.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: I begin to understand now what heaven must be and
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: oh the grander and repose of the words the same
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: to day, yesterday, and forever, everlasting, from everlasting to everlasting.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: Thou art God, That sky above me looks as though
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: it could not change, and yet it will. I am
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: so tired, so tired of being whirled on through all
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: these phases of my life, in which nothing abides by me,
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: no creature, no place. It is like the circle in
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: which the victims of earthly passion eddy continually. I am
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: in the mood in which women of another religion take
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: the veil. I seek heavenly steadfastness and earthly monotony. If
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: I were a Roman Catholic and could deaden my heart,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: stun it with some great blow, I might become a nun.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: But I should pineaff my kind. No, not my kind,
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: for love of my species. Could never feel my heart
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: to the utter exclusion of love for individuals. But perhaps
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: it ought to be so, perhaps not. I cannot decide
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: to night. Wearily, she went to bed. Wearily she arose
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: in four or five hours time. But with the morning
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: came hope and a brighter view of things. After all,
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: it is right, said she, hearing the voices of children
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: at play, while she was dressing. If the world stood still,
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: it would retrograde and become corrupt. If that is not irish.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: Looking out of myself and my own painful sense of change,
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: the progress all around me is right and necessary. I
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: must not think so much of how circumstances affect me myself,
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: but how they affect others, if I wish to have
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: a right judgment or a hopeful, trustful heart. And with
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: a smile ready in her eyes to quiver down to
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: her lips, she went into the parlor and greeted, mister
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: bell Ah, missy, you were up late last night, and
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: so you're late this morning. Now I've got a little
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: piece of news for you. What do you think of
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: an invitation to dinner a morning call, literally in the
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: dewy morning. Why I've had the vicar here already on
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: his way to the school. How much the desire of
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: giving our hostess a teetotal lecture for the benefit of
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: the Haymakers had to do with his earliness? I don't know,
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: but here he was when I came down just before nine,
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: and we are asked to dine there to day. But
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: Edith expects me back. I cannot go, said Margaret, thankful
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: to have so good an excuse. Yes, I know, so,
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: I told him. I thought you would not want to go. Still,
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: it is open if you would like it. Oh no,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: said Margaret. Let us keep to our plan. Let us
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: start at twelve. It is very good and kind of them,
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: But indeed I could not go very well. Don't fidget yourself,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: and I'll arrange it all. Before they left, Margaret stole
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: round to the back of the vicarage garden and gathered
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: a little straggling piece of honeysuckle. She would not take
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: a flower the day before for fear of being observed,
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: and her motives and feelings commented upon. But as she
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: returned across the common, the place was reinvested with the
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: old enchanting atmosphere. The common sounds of life were more
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: musical there than anywhere else in the whole world, the
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: light more golden, the life more tranquil and full of
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: dreamy delight. As Margaret remembered her feelings yesterday, she said
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: to herself, and I too changed perpetually. Now this now
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: that now disappointed and peevish because all is not exactly
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: as I had pictured it, And now suddenly discovering that
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: the reality is farmer beautiful than I had imagined it,
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Oh Helstone, I shall never love any place like you.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: A few days afterwards, she had found her level and
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: decided that she was very glad to have been there,
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: and that she had seen it again, and that to
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: her it would always be the prettiest spot in the world,
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: but that it was so full of associations with former days,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: and especially with her father and mother, that if it
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: were all to come over again, she should shrink back
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: from such another visit as that which she had paid
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: with mister Bell end of chapter forty six, recorded by
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: Czara in October of two thousand seven.