Latest / Full Spectrum Cycling / Chewey’s Salon Chair #17 -Stallis Dave’s Post Fat Bike Birkie Sh*t Show

Transcript

Chewey’s Salon Chair #17 -Stallis Dave’s Post Fat Bike Birkie Sh*t Show · Full Spectrum Cycling

• 0:00
  Hi guys. [laughs] Hi. This is after bar, Chewie's Salon Chair after bar 16 A or B. No, 17. 17, 34, 22, 19- A... C-section- Yeah... four.
• 0:15
  And, um, this is also out of town Chewie's. Top of the hill? Yeah. [laughs] Top of the hill. We don't do Top of the hill. That's the other guys that do Top of the Hill. Yeah. Old timer. Jesus Christ, you guys.
• 0:25
  That's the thing that... And we make fun of you guys, 'cause you guys like announce when you drink a beer. Hey, get it to the mic. Huh? Yeah. You gotta do the crisp B to the mic. [laughs] Yeah. Stand by.
• 0:35
  [can opening] That was a... [laughs] Bleh. Was that a hard can? [laughs] Oh. [laughs] I'm out of breath. The longest beer opening. [laughs] That was a lot of work. Yeah, I know. Crap. [laughs] Like, what the hell? Yeah.
• 0:48
  Like, don't... Okay. I can't wait to listen to that later. Your hands are tin cans. It's gonna make my life. Yeah. It's not a movement of- It's gonna be my new ringtone on my phone. [laughs] Is it?
• 0:55
  [laughs] Even better, yeah. Is that a 4130 chromoly top? [laughs] It could was, yeah. Pop. Is that, is that new Rush titanium shit again? Oh. Are you taking- What are you doing?... selfies on your tablet? [laughs] I am.
• 1:06
  [laughs] So we have Dave Lunz here, who must have not figured out how his phone works, and he's just texting, uh, on his- [laughs] Well, Dave's like, "What are you doing?"... on his iPad. She goes, "Call Dad."
• 1:15
  Like, "Sorry, I gotta go, dude. I'm, I'm in the middle of a podcast." [laughs] She's just heard. So you gotta send her a fucking- I- Yep. That's exactly- You gotta, you gotta prove to her you're on a podcast.
• 1:25
  No, not really, but I am. Did, did she want you to put your balls in a leash and send her a picture too? Um- Or a collar? No, no, we never took pictures of that, but okay, whatever.
• 1:34
  [laughs] Different strokes for different folks. Mm-hmm. I got spanked tonight too, so you know, that was fun. [laughs] That was the saddest- Was that your first time?
• 1:41
  That, that, by the way, that is that- [laughs] Your, your spanking yourself is on Facebook right now. [laughs] 'Cause I posted it. That's funny as fuck right there. I don't, I don't...
• 1:49
  That was the weakest- I can't believe it took Chewie three times for me to accept the- I, I, I don't, I don't-... the third spanking. I- I was like, "Yeah, that's good enough." [laughs] That was, oh.
• 1:58
  It did take me a bit. Well, I'm left-handed and it was the wrong side. It was- It, it took you as long to open that beer as it did to spank me to satisfaction. [laughs] Well, I'm a perfectionist.
• 2:05
  [laughs] I don't know where I was when all this was happening, but it wasn't there. You were right there. Me? You were spanked. I didn't get spanked. Yep. Oh. That was, I were talking to Dave. Are you...
• 2:14
  Do we need to fill you in? [laughs] No. Yeah, you, you, you sound angry about that. Are you sure? [laughs] Do you need a New Jersey meat hook? [laughs] Yeah.
• 2:21
  You, you, you, you sound a little bit unsure if that even a thing. Wrong person to ask. [laughs] There's no ce- There's higher ceilings here. I might like it better.
• 2:29
  [laughs] Is that your first new je- New Jersey meat hook, Dave? I can't believe that's never happened to you before. What? The New Jersey meat hook. What? I don't know what that is. [laughs] The old reach around.
• 2:41
  [laughs] Did you get a video of it? Yeah. [laughs] I sent it to Chewie. Okay. He posted it on Facebook. Did he? No, that was him spanking himself. [laughs] Oh, I thought I sent the other one. I did get a video.
• 2:52
  No, I can do the other one too. Sending it. Continue. Okay. Um, so yeah. What, what am I continuing with? [laughs] I don't know. Welcome to the Shit Show- Yeah... edition.
• 3:04
  [laughs] We had, we had- Dude, fucking- Greg was qui- The Shit Show, The Shit Show started at, like, noon too, so I mean- No, it turned into a shit show about- It, it- About 8:00... well, not, no, it was 12:21.
• 3:13
  It's like- Where we're at with this... where we're- So we all came up- We're, we're 12 hours into this shit show, so. We all came up to race the Birkie. Yeah. I was the only one to race. Somebody did a kids race.
• 3:21
  And the rest of you just fucking drank all day. [laughs] Did, did, did- Yeah. Please... Kind of, yeah... Tina text me back. I was like, "What are you doing?" She's like, "I run a podcast."
• 3:29
  She's like, "That's probably not a good idea." [laughs] I'm like, "That's why we're doing it." [laughs] Could, could somebody translate that please? I know. I was gonna say, do you- Dude, I even understood that...
• 3:37
  do you text in that English? You understood that? I understood- See, you've lost your shit... in my own tongue. She said I was funny when I'm, like, rambling and drunk, and she doesn't understand what I'm saying, so.
• 3:46
  She thinks you're funny all the time. [laughs] I know. That's pretty cool. I'm like, "It's a special talent I have." [laughs] God. I'm so lost right now. Yeah, I think we all are. You shouldn't be.
• 3:57
  Are you watching YouTube videos? Oh, I see what you're saying. I, I, I'm watching... Uh, no, I have to pause this for nothing. Wow, we really are just going down rabbit holes- [laughs]... that are going nowhere, guys.
• 4:06
  [laughs] This is- That, that part is funny. That is funny. This is exactly what Greg asked for, and he's, that's exactly what he's fucking getting. This is Chewie's Salon Chair after bar. Yeah, yeah.
• 4:13
  Are you enjoying this? He's in the audience right now, folks. He's, he's loving- He didn't even want to be a part of this shit show. He is living every second of this because you know what? He gets to edit it.
• 4:21
  He'll just go like this. I can't wait. He's just going like this. Delete.
• 4:24
  [laughs] I, I'm totally starting my own podcast ar- around this, around the same premise, just drunk people talking shit and fucking recording it So I'm assuming this is gonna- How's it different than what we do?
• 4:34
  [laughs] Yeah. So this, I'm assuming this is gonna be in a different language. But, but while we're recording it, it's going online. Oh, yeah. That's it. [laughs] Right?
• 4:39
  This is in a different- It's, it's me, uh, S- or Celeste Dave. No, sorry, Silly Dave. [laughs] Um, [burps] and then, um- Wow. Um, [laughs] Talk, Talk, Talk is Back with Celeste Dave. It's gonna be a podcast.
• 4:55
  'Cause I, apparently anybody can have a podcast. And everybody can f- y- do anything and put it online, and Greg or Greg will do it for me. So that's the best part. [laughs] Yeah. Or- Who? [laughs] Continue.
• 5:08
  [laughs] This is, this is actually going to be Gomez. I'm like, I, I, I'm listening to your podcast. This is payola, lads. Listening to spinach podcast.
• 5:15
  I'm listening- Can we, can we say, can we say- I'm listening to Greg's podcast... this is- I'm like, "I could fucking do that." Can we, do we dare say this is a brain- You know?
• 5:21
  It's very- Do we dare say this is a brainchild of, uh, Fatbike.com? Oh. [laughs] No. [laughs] Sponsored by Gomez. [laughs] Oh, but- Oh, we did- Oh, boy, now- Now we gotta edit... don't, don't piss off the evil empire.
• 5:37
  [laughs] Now we really gotta edit. [laughs] You gotta, you gotta cut that out. Green, Green Bike Revolution Society, bam. [laughs] Middle finger, Vo Geek motherfucker. Anyways. Yeah. Anywho. [laughs] I like all...
• 5:55
  This one- And, and, and I'm trying to text Tina at the same time, so- I know... this is very complicated. You know, you're texting and talking, and you're doing a shit show at both. [laughs]It is the shit show edition.
• 6:07
  [laughs] So he's not doing anything wrong right now. Well, what, when you're talking about maybe, yeah- Are you talking shit to me? I'm gonna try to right this ship here. [laughs] Oh, yeah. You're the high one.
• 6:14
  It's killing me. I gotta put it on a second. So when you come up here, and you come up to Hayward, and you do an event like this- All right, I'm done...
• 6:20
  and one of the nice things is you do wanna go to all the local businesses and spend money and leave money up here. Yes. Because we are tourists. We went to one of them.
• 6:27
  And this is tourist money, and we spent fucking probably close to $1,000 by now at the sawmill. Yep. And then, yeah, we went to the- And we- Yeah... and we- That, that's not far off, is it? I don't know.
• 6:37
  I'm- No, that's pretty accurate... I mean- We did our bill last night and tonight. Yeah, we're- And that's not counting what we paid cash for. Yeah, like- Yeah... 10 of us, 12 of us. Yeah. Yeah, we threw down some cash.
• 6:46
  And it's nice, so like we, I used to come up here 10 years ago, and you would need to get cash before you came. 'Cause, uh, um, that was before like ATM, uh, Quick Star was doing the $200 ATM thing. Yeah.
• 6:56
  So, um, but now everybody's finally got internet up here a little bit. But yeah, when you come up here, you wanna support the community, and that's, this is a tourist town. Yep. For sure. Uh, what did the guy...
• 7:11
  Um, crap. Um, I think you and I ran into at, at, uh, in Cable. It basically said, "Without tourists- Yeah... Cable doesn't exist." Yeah, he's like, "I'd just be an alcoholic if it wasn't for tourists." Yeah.
• 7:24
  [laughs] Yeah. Yeah, 'cause there's, like if there's snowmobiling, um, in winter, snowmobiling, ice fishing. The summers, fishing and boating.
• 7:31
  And, and just- And it's biking, um- And just so all, all those that y- all those that you understand that, that as Dave is mumbling, uh, Kayla's over here signing every- Dude, why am I understanding everything he's saying right now?
• 7:40
  [laughs] Kayla's over here signing what he's saying so, because the rest of us can't understand him. What I- He's talking about ice fishing and snowshoeing and, like, all the winter activities that you do.
• 7:48
  Oh, uh, the, the only jobs up here- I will continue to Dave translate... are like logging, so, you know, it's like, well, the, all the rest of the jobs are tourists. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. So, so yeah. Tourism. Yeah.
• 7:56
  Yeah, Airbnbs do well. Yep, yep. Which we are even staying in right now. And I think what happens up here is- Thank you very much, Dave Chvalovsky. Yep. [laughs] Nah, see you later, Dave. See you later, Dave. Yeah.
• 8:05
  And, and, uh- Thanks for the solid stay He's a good dude. This summer, the lumberjack championships happen up here, and I kinda wanna see that. I wanna see that. That, that is some cool stuff, yeah. Yeah?
• 8:14
  Is that always going too? When I... So I used to live in Hudson, Wisconsin. Chainsaws and pole climbing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The wheel w- Pole- Yeah, and log running and- Log rolling... the log rolling.
• 8:22
  I think they do log rolling competitions. When I lived in Hudson, Wisconsin- Kayla, Kayla's still hung-... I trained with guys- Kayla, Kayla's still hung up-... and literally that's what they did... on the pole climbing.
• 8:28
  Nah. There you go. [laughs] Me? I'll win that challenge. [laughs] And the pole striking. [burps] Where do I sign up for that? There is no saving this. [laughs] There is no saving this. [laughs] You can't post this.
• 8:45
  [laughs] Yeah, yeah, I am. No, you should. Oh, I'm not, Greg is. You really should- This, this, this-... 'cause when I have a rainy day at work-... this is all-... this is the exact podcast I wanna listen to...
• 8:53
  this is totally going online. This has gotta go online. [laughs] We got like four JKs here. [laughs] God. In one seat. [laughs] It is kind of...
• 9:04
  [laughs] I understand totally now, Greg, why you do not let Dave come into the building when you're doing shit. [laughs] Yeah, like Dave's standing outside calling. Yeah.
• 9:11
  [laughs] He barely answers the phone when I call, so it's like... [laughs] That's true. He said we were drunk. But we also saw the Telemark today.
• 9:21
  What used to be a Telemark, there's nothing but elevator shafts and the front- Yeah... concrete. That's like very- That is kinda cool. Oh, yeah. That is kinda cool, but it's also kinda sad. But it's weird. Yeah.
• 9:30
  It is sad. It is. It, it's cool, sad. It's like a, what the fuck do they call it? Uh- Telehedge... Tele- Telehedge, yeah. [laughs] It's like- I mean, it was great for a while...
• 9:39
  if you look at it from the right angle, you can see the sun- Stonehedge? Yeah. Stonehenge. It does look like Stonehenge. Yeah, yeah, Telehedge, yeah. But it was, it was good for- Tele- Telehedge?
• 9:44
  But no, we, we used to come over all the time for the, uh, Schwamgen Fat Tire 40, and it, you know, that, that was a good time. And like- Yeah...
• 9:50
  we partied, we partied a lot in that lodge, and it's fucking decimated, dude. Done. Yeah. Gone. It's gone? Except for the, except for the stair towers. [laughs] Yeah. And the elevator towers, so. [laughs] Yeah. I mean,
• 10:04
  I was thinking too, like there's so many memories of that place, and you're always thinking about it. And al- and it tried to... People tried to save it multiple times. Right. Um- Yeah...
• 10:13
  I think, I don't know if it's an ownership problem or what, but, um, maybe we can post a picture in this podcast whenever it does go up that what is left. It's just like, it's so weird.
• 10:24
  That, that was kinda weird when we drove past it. I'm like, "Wow, this is-" Bring it back up. Bring it back up where it belongs, dumbass. [laughs] Maybe it doesn't belong there anymore. [laughs] Um- Yeah...
• 10:35
  but it, no, it is weird, 'cause yeah, we, we, we partied a ton of times in that- Stairwell... place, you know? And, uh, now, now it's just stair towers, so. It's just stair towers and the front concrete.
• 10:45
  That's, that's what's left. You can also have Greg c- Greg says, "I want nothing to do with this." See, he's over there getting orders. But, dude, you, you came out.
• 10:50
  You stayed up here with, uh, when we were at Valhalla a couple years, right? Yeah, I stayed at Valhalla. You, you've never been with us up here for the Fat Tire 40 at Valhalla.
• 10:57
  [laughs] Chewy hasn't been up here since he was fucking... I haven't been up here since, uh, we did, we did Schwamgen, oh, God, probably, 20 years ago. Yeah. I- I mean, seriously, I've been up here that long.
• 11:12
  We, we stopped coming up here like over 10 years ago. You stopped coming up here? Yeah, 'cause we- For the Fat Tire 40. Kayla, can you, can you- Yeah, for the Fat Tire 40, yeah. Um- What am I doing?
• 11:22
  Or could you interpret for him please? He stopped doing it 10 years ago. Thank you. Oh. [laughs] Oh. Oh, that, that's what you said? [laughs] Yeah, we, we stopped coming- Wow... we stopped coming up here.
• 11:32
  I am concerned- Well, well-... the fact that I can translate. We, we- Can you hear what I'm saying? We're, we're- Yeah, I understand you completely. Okay, great.
• 11:39
  We, we, we stopped doing the Fat Tire 40 like 15 years ago, and then we stopped coming up here 10 years ago. We sort of, we still came up here and partied. Yeah. Well, but you've done, but you've done all of the-
• 11:52
  Every Fat Bike Birkie. Fat Bike Birkies, yeah. Yeah. And what, that was kind of the thing too- Have you?... when Fat Bikes came around- Oh... I started coming up...
• 11:58
  no, this, this is actually my first time coming up here for the Fat Bike Birkie. And I've never raced a- This is your first time coming up here... a Schwamgen 40. Yes. But you didn't even ride, dude. I did not, so.
• 12:06
  [laughs] What did he say? He did not. [laughs] Why are you so tired? 'Cause I, I, I was, I was- She did the kids race. It didn't even take the fight out of the man. I, I, I- That was not a race.
• 12:16
  [laughs] I, I, I- You were timed. It was a race. Don't, don't give me that shit. I, I, I, I don't- You know what? I'm going back there right now. It's fucking snowing, and I will still do it in, like, 30 minutes. Yes...
• 12:25
  I'll do it right now. Um, I, I, I decided, like, one week ago that I, I will go, so, like... And I, I only paid 100 bucks to ride my bike, so- Yeah... you know, there's that. [laughs] Okay. He said- But-...
• 12:35
  "You wanna do it next year?" But here's the thing. If you- He said he would. Gotta register right away. I already fucking will. You gotta register right away, and it... This is a serious race.
• 12:42
  This is a serious- We heard you already... now, now that my life, my work schedule has a regular schedule, I can plan things, which is awesome, you know? Yeah. You know? [laughs] That's- You're a farmer? Yeah, kind of.
• 12:53
  Um- Well, you said you're gonna plant things. I can plan. Plan things. [laughs] Um, but in, in my former life, I, I, I couldn't plan shit, dude, 'cause, you know- He didn't have a plan.
• 13:03
  I did say- The, does the second- I did hear farmer that time. [laughs] The, the, the, the second- But he meant forward... the second I paid for an event, I, I'd have to go to work, and I, I couldn't go.
• 13:10
  So now, now I have a permanent schedule for, like, at least a couple months, and it's fucking beautiful. Nice. It's... I know it is.
• 13:17
  I, I- So you literally become a school teacher now, so you're, like, off at the end of... Started your- Yeah, he was s- Uh-... you're off all summer?... not exactly sure about that yet, but hopefully.
• 13:27
  [laughs] Dude, I'm so jelly. I know. Um- Ah. [laughs]... there, there, there might be some part-time work in the summer. I don't know. Um, but, uh, at the very least- What do you mean part-time?... it'll be part-time.
• 13:38
  Yeah. [laughs] That's awesome.
• 13:40
  I, I had part-time work for the last, like, eight weeks, and it, it was kinda dangerous 'cause I was drinking a lot, and 'cause I, I don't- [laughs] We are editing this out for the sake of his job.
• 13:50
  [laughs] I, I, I, uh, I like- Would you like, would you like to... While, while you're blabbing on, would you like to say who you were working for while you were drunk, or... No. Okay. Just checking. [laughs] Good job.
• 13:59
  Um, it's when I was still an ironworker. [laughs] Still. I love what he's saying. [laughs] It... He used to be an ironworker. Why is this hard? Just keep... Oh, wait, so- Well, I, I'm still an ironworker...
• 14:10
  Kayla, look- Oh, he's still an ironworker... if you're gonna, if you're gonna get paid the big bucks for being an interpreter, when he says something, you have to repeat it- Honestly, this-... in English-...
• 14:16
  this is my full-time job... and then let him talk again-... 'cause I'll retire... and then back to English. Okay? Not that many people wanna pay to know what Dave's saying. [laughs] I never thought I would know it, Dave.
• 14:25
  That's the... I, I, I, I, I was- I can't-... gonna watch out my own podcast- I can't-... so I'm like, I don't know. When, when anybody listens to this- He's gonna start-... does anybody give a fuck?... his own podcast.
• 14:32
  [laughs] I'm gonna do it anyway. I don't care. Like, fuck you. And he doesn't care. [laughs] And he doesn't care. 'Cause it... How much does it cost to do it? Zero dollars? I don't know.
• 14:43
  Like- What do you wanna pay me to translate? That's all we need to know. Oh, my God. [laughs] I can't wait to listen to this. I can't wait to listen to it. I, I, I- I'm-...
• 14:53
  I hate the sound of my own voice, but, you know- I don't think you do... I, I still keep talking. [laughs] It's probably... [laughs] Actually, when it gets right down to it- Peter Gallagher.
• 15:04
  Craig's an appealing Gallagher voice... yeah, when it gets right down to it, Greg and Kayla- Yeah. Like, keep it going over there. We're trying to have a podcast.
• 15:08
  [laughs] Greg and Kayla really only have the only voices that belong in this. The rest of us suck at this, but it's like- I know... the two best- That's, that's the funny part, dude... I hear any voices...
• 15:15
  anybody, clearly anybody can fucking do a podcast. [laughs] Yes, Dave. I'm waiting for what he said. Anybody can do a fucking podcast. There you go. Why is this hard?
• 15:27
  [laughs] I know you keep asking that question, too- All I can do-... and I don't know the answer to that... is give you a podcast.
• 15:31
  I am still terrified in the fact that I can understand what he's saying 'cause I remember when I first met this guy at the Santa Rampage when shit was going down real fast with everybody- Fun time...
• 15:42
  and he would say stuff, and I'm like, "I'm trying so hard to understand what he's saying. [laughs] Can somebody please translate?" And now I'm so proud that I can understand but also scared.
• 15:51
  Well, 10 Captains- [laughs]... 10 Captains of Coke later, you've got it figured out. Well, you, you, you're as drunk as I am, so like- Was it only 10? Okay. I don't know. I'm just guessing. That's not so bad.
• 15:59
  I actually kinda refused to buy her a Captain and Diet 'cause that, that just sounds gross to me. It costs money, and you can't. So I'm like, I'm like... Well, no, I- You don't have any. [laughs] Well, no, I got money.
• 16:07
  'Cause you're a schoolteacher. I'm like, I'm like, I, I... Yeah, exactly. [laughs] Um, but I'm like, "Eh, that sounds gross, but okay, here's," you know. [laughs] I normally do Crown and Diet.
• 16:16
  Like, oh, I said- It's not any better. I like Crown better than Captain. Yeah, yeah, Captain's a little rare to- Well, next time just buy me a Crown and Diet. [laughs] Okay. Um- He said okay, guys. All right.
• 16:28
  But, but it was like, if, if I, like, offered to buy some, some guy on the street, like, a fucking, a meal, and then he's like- [laughs]... "Oh, I want, like, this pile of shit," I'm like- Stop...
• 16:38
  I, I don't wanna pay for it. Kayla, can you- I don't wanna translate. [laughs] Can you translate, please? [laughs] I'm like, I'm like, "I'd rather buy you a nice meal." I don't wanna translate anymore.
• 16:44
  [laughs] Or like, I'm not gonna buy you a pile of shit. I, I don't want it. [laughs] But I'm like, that's why Hannah's here. I'm like, "Here you go. Captain and Diet. Here, here." Do we text Dave Schabowski?
• 16:55
  Could be worse. We might need to tap, tag in another Dave over here. That. [laughs] My solace Dave. Hashtag. How, how this Dave is still standing is beyond me to start with. He's not standing. [laughs] Yeah, I'm sitting.
• 17:08
  When this gets posted, you have to let me know- He got New Jersey Meat Hook tonight. He doesn't even know it... 'cause it is literally being saved to the desktop- No, this will be-... on my work computer...
• 17:14
  this, this might be, this might be one of those, this might be one of those ones that we just send to friends, right? I won't even look and see who you have in here. I'll, I'm like, "Oh, God. Okay. Oh, God.
• 17:21
  Stop, stop, stop." Yeah. That is the New Jersey Meat Hook. It could be. "Stop. You've gone too much." I can't believe you've never been to New Jersey Meat Hook.
• 17:24
  Um, well, I, I- Oh, yeah, it has to be sent to Facebook, don't I? Yeah. Does that one go on there? Did I... I think I said- You sent it to me. I got it. Yeah, I gotta put it on Facebook.
• 17:31
  Oh, I keep on tasting that pizza that Dave's having. Um, but no, no, no, whatever. I, I'm thinking about starting my own little podcast, and if nobody listens, I don't give a fuck.
• 17:39
  I'm just gonna, like, ramble and- I think that's awesome that you're gonna start your own. I know. But you have to- You guys inspired me. [laughs] How's this gonna work? How's this gonna work, though?
• 17:46
  Because if Kayla can't be there to interpret, nobody's gonna be able to fucking listen to it. Well, maybe- I can- Maybe just the two of you... I can do- She, she should be there to interpret that.
• 17:53
  [laughs] Just sit there. She'll just drive down and listen, and you- Well, I, I, I was thinking, like, maybe- You'll give a monologue, and then Kayla will come on and just- Yeah... explain everything. Like- Or fuck it.
• 18:01
  You can just send it to me, and I'll, like, dub over. [laughs] There you go. [laughs] What it really meant to say was- Be like, be like, be like, be like a spaghetti Western- [laughs]...
• 18:10
  where Dave's over there talking with, and it's Kayla's voice from off here.
• 18:13
  [laughs] Okay, so you really have to have a video podcast, and then it'll be like the dub version where you're, like, talking, but it's really just my voice over you talking. [laughs] Oh, we're getting somewhere.
• 18:23
  I think that'd be funny, actually. That's kind of like-[laughs] 'Cause, well, the funny thing is for my new job, I, I, I, I just bought a webcam and- [laughs]...
• 18:32
  like I, I had virtual interviews and I'm like, "Okay, I've never, I've, I've never done this before." I, I hooked up a webcam to my computer. I'm like sitting in my house, in my living room, with no pants on,
• 18:44
  fucking interviewing for the job of my life. You'll get caught. You can't do that. I've gotten caught- I did it... in a leadership- I did it... Zoom meeting. [laughs] With no pants on? Yeah. Yeah. [laughs] Um.
• 18:52
  'Cause they're... Somebody was retiring and they're like, "Everybody stand up for applause." And I'm like- Eh. Ah. [laughs] Yeah. You're like, "Eh." [laughs] I'm gonna sit here and clap.
• 19:01
  And they're like, "Except for the people that don't have pants on." I'm like, "Mm." [laughs] You were like, "Yeah, that'd be me." [laughs] We all knew. [laughs] Um, but no. It's like I, I actually bought a webcam. I...
• 19:13
  For this job, I actually bought a Windows laptop and I bought a Windows desktop, 'cause I, I've been all Apple my whole life. Just for this interview? They, they took like...
• 19:23
  Well, not really, 'cause, um, that interview- Okay...
• 19:25
  'cause I, I knew I was, I was, I was gonna be launched into this Windows world, so I was like I, I need to start familiarizing myself- Welcome to the new age of technology... with Windows and shit. Yeah. Yeah.
• 19:34
  Congratulations. Welcome to... That one over there. Oh. [laughs] That one over there. He made me an Apple guy, dude. I, I've been an Apple guy my whole life. Fuck Apple. I'm still anti-Apple. Actually, no.
• 19:43
  No, fuck Windows, 'cause you know, like... [laughs] Well, yeah. Fuck 'em all. Yeah. [laughs] Yeah, fuck 'em all. Yeah, there's that too.
• 19:48
  Um, but I actually, for this interview, I actually went out and bought a fucking webcam to hook up to my computer. And I had to like strategically place all this shit around my fucking background, you know?
• 20:00
  Like I, I had to move the punching bag. I had to move the fucking bikes and like all this shit. You can put a virtual background. I wasn't aware of that at the time. [laughs] Um, but no. It's like...
• 20:13
  So s- I, I go to this interview and like the fucking director of the, my department or whatever, he, he's got this fucking island in his background. I'm like, "Oh, I didn't know we can do that."
• 20:22
  [laughs] And he's in a hoodie. I'm like, I'm here in a fucking Jerry Garcia tie, 'cause that's the only ties I wear are Jerry Garcia. And I'm like, in a fucking white shirt and no pants. [laughs] Did I hear Garcia?
• 20:33
  Yeah, Jerry Garcia. What did he say? I'm a hippie at heart. Yeah, but I don't understand the reference. [laughs] Okay. [laughs] Jerry Garcia from the Grateful Dead. Yeah. He, he's got a wicked tie collection.
• 20:43
  Dude, check it out. He, he- But does he just wear a white shirt and no pants? That's like Tom Cruise. I don't know. Is, is that Tom Cruise type stuff? 'Cause that's what I did. [laughs] Um, but no.
• 20:56
  Jerry Garcia's got a wicked tie collection. Mm. And I, I have, um, I have five Jerry Garcia ties and- So are they from his collection? Marry 'em, bury 'em, Christmas, job interview. Two job interviews, you know?
• 21:10
  Uh, the, yeah. And he's g- he's got like 100, like, he, he's got all sorts of d- Go to a wedding, go to a funeral, go to Christmas? Yep. Okay. Okay. [laughs] Oh, there you go. You just figured that out now?
• 21:20
  [laughs] Marry 'em, bury 'em, Christmas. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's what I said. First of all, I gotta figure out what he said and then- Well, I mean, well, there's that, yeah. He said what he said. We all heard it.
• 21:27
  [laughs] But, um, um- [laughs] But here, here I am like four times in one year I wore a fucking, a wicked fucking Jerry Garcia tie. All right.
• 21:35
  Um, I, I try not to do that, 'cause, you know, e- either it's marry 'em, bury 'em, you know? It's, and you, well, no- We're on a fucking podcast, guys. Get off your phones. [laughs] Oh, sorry.
• 21:44
  I'm posting this fucking video. Stop it. [laughs] Dave's been talking the whole time. Uh, David, shut up. Why would I- We need to cut him off. [laughs] Yeah, and you're, you are so...
• 21:53
  [laughs] Oh, now the interpreter just went, "What? 22 minutes. We got... We're good. Calm down." [laughs] We're only 22 minutes in? Yeah, we're 22 minutes in. Well, we're, we're- That's it? [laughs]...
• 22:01
  we're gonna go for it. But anyway, yeah. Um. I know. I just posted another picture of Lunds. Everybody's gonna... I'm gonna lose my fucking coaching job here in about two minutes. [laughs] On your Facebook?
• 22:11
  But, um, the, I, if you had- 'Cause of my Facebook, yeah. Mm. I- if you ever need to wear a tie, Jerry Garcia's got some wicked fucking ties.
• 22:18
  Uh- Dude, I wear bows and I now have a guy in Rochester that makes them so I am so set. Nice. That, cool. That one, yeah, last... So when Patrick came- Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Um- Huzzah to the governor.
• 22:32
  But yeah, no, fuck. Oh, okay. [laughs] The, uh, uh, he's, he's got some really cool designs. He, yeah, he does some basic designs. And, and not surprising. Yeah. I get- I'm not allowed to open mine- Yeah...
• 22:42
  because I do a poor job of it. Here, I'll... Wait, how's that go? Will you open mine for me? [laughs] I don't know if Ian's not opened every beer but you did a shitty job on that last beer. Top of the hill.
• 22:51
  Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. No, we don't top of the hill. Ah. Oh. That's another group that does that. [burps] We drink the whole time. Just ask. None of that. We drink on the climb. Yeah. [laughs] Right.
• 23:02
  [laughs] Of what? I forget what we're- So this other podcast has a thing called Top of the Hill. Like at the top of the hill they open a beer. All right.
• 23:09
  And like me and Chewy drink on the climb, so- So you do not listen, so you do not listen to their podcast? Top of the Hill? No. No. No. Um, the, the Full Spectrum one. Greg's? Yeah. Yeah, I listen to his.
• 23:21
  Well, then how do you not know what Top of the Hill is? On a first name basis. Yeah. But, but it's- But what did you say? Sven Hammer. Can you translate for me? [laughs] Yeah. [laughs] Sven, Sven, Sven, Sven, Sven, Sven.
• 23:31
  I'll translate for him. You translate for him. I like, "Well, wait, wait, wait." Say, what did I say? Sven Hammer? Sven Hammer. Well, I know what that means. [laughs] Sven Hammer, that's his name.
• 23:39
  Well, that translates to Greg. Oh, that's not what I- Speaking, speaking, speaking of top of the hill and like where we are right now and like, uh- We drink on the climb.
• 23:46
  We don't wait to the top of the hill to crack a beer. And, um, well, oh yeah. Speaking of, um, in this area when, where you used to do the Schwaben and Phantayr 40, I, I- Keep up. Yeah, come on. Kayla, can you keep up?
• 23:56
  We're, we're- When we do the Phantayr 40? Yeah. Yeah, and it says like, um, I, I, I used to throw a joint in my handlebar. Maybe that's why they call me Jerky Dave. I don't know.
• 24:03
  [laughs] You can't laugh- Why did you not do the 10K today? He used to throw a joint- But, uh-... in his handlebar. Mints. Not mints, 'cause we're, we're doing the Phantayr 40.
• 24:13
  This isn't for- How would you throw it in your handlebar? Would you bring your microphone up? Keep your fa- hand away from your face. Like literally through the handlebar? But yeah.
• 24:19
  With, I, I'd have a joint hidden in my handlebar and when, when I, when I was climbing- Like literally you took off the end cap and stuck it in your handlebar? Yes. Yep.
• 24:27
  Um- [laughs] At, at the start line, at the start line I'd be smoking a joint and then- Like, as we're rolling out down the fucking cable- Can't do that on a Birki.
• 24:34
  I couldn't even, I couldn't even- Uh, but people are like, "What are you fucking crazy?"... mule chewing across the start line I'm like, "No, fuck it." I'm, I'm, I- Yeah, we tried Let alone smoke a joint...
• 24:42
  I, I, I put it out, I'd put it out and I'd have the lighter in my pocket and like- You would've had a better chance, Cap, you would've had a better chance smoking a joint than getting me to the end there without, without pain...
• 24:50
  and then when, when we get to Fire Tower Hill though- You're probably not wrong...
• 24:51
  I'm like, I'm like 30 miles in, I'd like, I'd pull the rest of the joint out, like whatever, three quarters, half joint or whatever's left.
• 24:57
  And like, as I'm pushing my bike up the Fire Tower Hill, I'd like light up the joint and like push my bike in smoking a joint. You're- And people are like, "What are you fucking stupid?" I'm like, "No, I don't think so.
• 25:08
  I think you're the stupid one. I can smoke right now. I don't know." I'm like [laughs] How are you making a joint last that long? Yeah. It, it's a big fat one [laughs] So you got down to like the pits.
• 25:18
  Is that when you call a butt? Like, well, well, yeah, it's a joint. But it, it, you had, you had- It's all fucking, well, no, I, I turned-...
• 25:23
  you had a doobie butt and then you put the plug back in as a butt plug [laughs] I, I, I, I took like two or three hits. I took two or three hits on the start line.
• 25:29
  So you know, two or three hits is like fucking a, like a quarter of a joint, whatever, you know? And um- You should patent that [laughs] Did you just snort? No, I didn't. Did you just?
• 25:41
  Yeah, I did [laughs] I'm not the- Yeah, you did... he's the mouth breather. I don't care. I don't care. You just snorted. Greg, Greg had the story before. I did not. Yeah, you did. Well, he earned it I guess.
• 25:50
  But all, all these people, all, all these people are like, like, "What are you fucking stupid? You're smoking pot right now?" I'm like, "No, I, I'm riding my bike, dude."
• 25:55
  I'm like, like, "Are you stupid for not smoking pot while you're riding a bike? I don't know." I'm like- Geez, damn What year was this? Oh, fucking- Last week. Last year [laughs]
• 26:04
  Um- One of the first weekends, I have gotta tell this story because you were in charge for some reason, I don't know how you got this job, but you put speakers in Rosie's Field.
• 26:13
  Yep [laughs] And you were gonna play music. So when Geronimo 40 starts, they all come out of Hayward and they go through Rosie's Field to get to the trails, and Dave is playing music. You set up speakers.
• 26:24
  You rented a Toyota Yaris- Yeah... and it was full of fucking speakers. Yaris. And we're, we're, we're- That's what I like to talk about...
• 26:29
  we're sitting there like, we sit, we're watching Rosie's Field and this mean old guy, we saw like where the bikes would come in and where they'd go to the trail, and Dave was set up as shit like right in the middle of like where we thought they would go.
• 26:41
  And I'm like, "Oh, no" [laughs] And Dave's like, "No, they'll come in and they'll ride around the field and then go straight in there."
• 26:46
  I'm like, "If I was riding bike and it's a race, I'm going from point A to point B- Yeah. Great... and you're in the middle of this." He's like, "No, that's not how it works." [laughs] And so, okay.
• 26:56
  Well, we're gonna sit here and cheer, cheer him on, and the bikes come around the fucking corner and they're just like going straight at Dave. We're like, "Oh, they're going exactly where we said they would."
• 27:06
  [laughs] Dude, we fucking, we dragged all the equipment. The microphone's on the ground. Yeah, so [laughs] There's like bikes riding over the microphone.
• 27:11
  Yeah, so he's got a microphone and he's like trying to talk because he's like, "Today's like a pirate day." And I'm like, "I'm pulling the microphone cord."
• 27:16
  [laughs] And he's super fucking excited about it, and he's like, we're like, "They're going right to him." And he's like standing there for a minute and the bikes are going around him and riding down to the coast.
• 27:23
  So all of a sudden he's like, "Oh, fuck. We gotta get this shit out of here." So he drops the microphone, and there's bikes running over the microphone. You hear it, 'cause like, and then loudspeakers dum dum, dum dum.
• 27:32
  [laughs] 'Cause the, the front wheel, back wheel's running over this fucking microphone landing in the field. You start moving all this shit over. And by the time you got it fixed everybody was past.
• 27:42
  And we're like, yeah, we're like grabbing tripods and like [laughs] Yeah [laughs] And, and we're still fucking like duh duh narrating like, "Ah, duh duh duh." Talk like a pirate day. Ah.
• 27:50
  [laughs] Dude, dude, that just popped up in the memory just like again. It's like [laughs] That is so fucking funny. I wish I had that on video. Oh my God, dude.
• 27:59
  And then, yeah, after that, after that a car cost me a speeding ticket and I beat the shit out of it along the road. You beat the fuck out of that car. [laughs] God, dude. Jeff Ogara tells the story the best 'cause-
• 28:09
  And it was a rental? Yeah, it was a rental Toyota Camry It was a rental Toyota Yaris. You know what that is? It's a- No. It's like slightly bigger than a smart car. Yaris. Yeah. It's a Yaris.
• 28:16
  Greg, are you gonna reference this later? And the fucking thing didn't, the, the fucking thing didn't have a cruise control. Toyota Garvis.
• 28:21
  I, I got a speeding ticket for like, I got a $256 speeding ticket and I was pissed off at the car, so I'm like, "All right, fucker. You're-" You got a speeding ticket in that? Yeah.
• 28:29
  Were, did you like out running beside it or what? No, I, no, every time I locked down I, every time I locked down I was doing like fucking 80 miles an hour on the freeway.
• 28:37
  What the f- 'Cause like- Okay, I just need to look what it is [laughs]... it, it, it didn't have a cruise control and- Are you looking, are you looking it up? [laughs] Yeah. Yaris. You got... Okay. Yeah.
• 28:44
  [laughs] Um, so- That was a two door, it's smaller... so, so I, I, I, I'm, I'm- Wow... I'm just like working the throttle with my foot for six hours, and every time I lock down I'm doing 20 over. 'Cause you don't know.
• 28:55
  You, you're in a little fucking brand new rental car or whatever, and you're like, you're, you're s- You had a good gas mileage... ne- next thing you know you're doing 90 miles an hour, you know? And- Yeah.
• 29:01
  And we put five people in that fucking thing and went to Fifth. [laughs] And then you e-brake the parking spot. Yeah, Jeff Ogara tells the story the best and, and every time he tells it, it gets better.
• 29:11
  [laughs] Has Ogara been on your podcast? No. Let's do a podcast where I arm wrestle him again. That's entertaining. Oh, fuck. What, so listen to you two grunt for a half hour? That's not gonna work. [laughs] Yeah.
• 29:22
  They listen to it for a half hour. Dude. No. I'm gonna check- Kayla grunting is possibly your good podcast, yeah Again, can't make it fucking interesting. Well, just put it on Pornhub, but it'll still work.
• 29:31
  [laughs] Yeah. Well, I'm, I'm wrestling mine all day. Hey, not for somebody using, they're gonna get paid for it. Yeah. So yeah, as long as I get a little chunk of the money. If it's on Pornhub I'll probably see it.
• 29:42
  [laughs] The wheels are turning. [laughs] Yeah, yeah. I- if this was, if this- No, I'm just sitting here saying I, I see exactly why Greg said don't do this. [laughs] This is some fine fucking shit right here.
• 29:56
  Oh, you, he's passed out on my bed. I get, I get the master bedroom now, huh? I'm at 100% right now. This is like, this is what, this is what you do so you remember the shit the next day.
• 30:04
  It's really not a podcast, it's just- That, that's why I posted that shit on Facebook today I don't always want to remember all the things the next day.
• 30:10
  [laughs] But when, when, uh- Oh, yeah you do You want- That's why I posted it today No... if, if you're dead fucking last you don't get passed.
• 30:16
  That's why I posted it so in like a year from now I'll be like remember like, "Oh, yeah." That was funny like seven hours ago. It's no longer funny, so stop it.
• 30:23
  Well, we'll see in a year when it pops up in my memories again. Oh, great. [laughs] Are you guys gonna ride next year? You guys gonna actually fucking race? No. Next year? Yeah. No. I'm gonna actually race next year, so.
• 30:32
  No, because my team's gonna be in the state high school championship and I can't come. Oh. Um, I'll, I'm sure I'll ride next year. You're gonna be here. Um, sometime. [laughs]Are you talking about here or what?
• 30:45
  No, I'm gonna be there Die? I just raised, man Ye of little faith. I think the, I think the numbers are down from what they used to be.
• 30:51
  I have a lot of faith in this, I guess I tell you- But I saw everything was well ran. I mean, the Great Hall, uh, the Newberg by the Great Hall is probably better than Telemark ever was.
• 31:00
  I mean, it's, it's better for the- No- It's better for the time... it's a fucking pole shed. Yes. With a concrete floor and heaters. Yeah. And there's enough room in there for the food and- That, that's all they need-...
• 31:11
  the trade show... and apparently they don't need fucking a hundred hotel beds like sitting empty. Well, not, not in today's market with Airbnb's. I mean- Yeah... we, we know this Airbnb. Would we stay at Telemark? No.
• 31:24
  We'd stay here anyway. No, no. No, we'd never stay at Telemark. Yeah. I, I- We, we, we'd stay at Valhalla or we- Valhalla Well, we talked about this- Yeah, you see- Valhalla... we talked just about this on the way up.
• 31:31
  When we did the Schwamie at 40, we only stayed at, we only stayed at Telemark once. You really talked about Valhalla? It's a hard no. We, yeah, we never stayed- What, what do you say? Oh, because we camped...
• 31:37
  the first time that- Valhalla. [laughs] The fir- the first two years we came up to Chicago- He's not being serious, give me a call next... we stayed like, we stayed like a, at least a half hour, um, north of here
• 31:47
  at some guy's- Well-... some guy's cabin... don't forget, when, when the Schwamie at 40 was at Lakewoods, Lakewoods Lodge, everybody stayed there.
• 31:53
  Dude, you know, the, the Schwamie at 40, the first time I registered for it, I sent in my registration like three weeks before, and I got in.
• 32:01
  Like the last time I, like the last time I registered for it was like day of or not day of- It is a pork chop and a game... but when, when it really is. Um, yeah. [laughs] Then, then, then it went to the lottery.
• 32:11
  Um, but yeah, the first time ever- And then, and then- [laughs]... and then this, and then that, and then this, and then, and then- You're doing that much now?
• 32:19
  And then, and then, and then- It's turned into the shit show/roast Dave. [laughs] That would be a better podcast. I'm sorry, but I'm here for support and translation whenever- Oh, that'd be a good podcast.
• 32:30
  We just roast your friends. [laughs] Oh. You guys have to add the polls to the Discord. [laughs] Yeah. It's, it's your audience. We're already up to like six listeners, okay?
• 32:40
  That's- Yeah, they're, we're gonna be down to about three after this one. Yeah, there's a good like- That's right. Fair. Block, block, block, block. Yeah. Block every podcast. Okay. Whatever.
• 32:48
  Now I'm like, well, I was talking about starting my own- I keep on trying to bring up relevant topics, but it just gets squished. But, but squished. We got what? Relevant topics, and it just gets smooshed. Nevermind.
• 32:56
  You have Dave Lunds on here. And what- Yeah, that's right. There's no relevant topics... and, and his interpreter sucks. So on top of that, we're not really getting real far. [laughs] My, my interpreter's good.
• 33:04
  I don't think I need to interpret everything. Yeah, everything.
• 33:07
  It's, it's only your, it's only your second time meeting me, so you know, like, you know, uh- The fact that- She doesn't, she doesn't know you well enough yet to be disgusted. Why? Yeah, sure. Right.
• 33:15
  Yeah, there's that too, but- [laughs]... she'll, she'll pick it up, give me a while. [laughs] Get close. Oh, you do it. [laughs] All right. Does anybody else have anything important to say? It is- Um,
• 33:34
  no. [laughs] We, we weren't asking, but- [laughs] Yeah... I think you should have kept- I, I, I say we, I'm glad we all came up to Hayward and we met up here... I, I, I spanked myself tonight. Yeah. Uh, yes.
• 33:47
  [laughs] And, and it ended. Cunt. No, no, no. We're not going there. We can't end it on that. [laughs] No, we can't. Oh, we can end it on, on me spanking Kayla, though. Ooh, wave. Well, it took me a while.
• 33:58
  You didn't buy me one of those? Okay. [laughs] Some people like being paddled. Cunt. You didn't buy me a paddle. We can't end on this. [laughs] All right.
• 34:07
  Uh, well, this will continue on the same time next year- Okay, hashtag-... if we get lucky... hashtag childs chess... same time next year. Yes. [laughs] Peace out, weirdos. Good, good night, all. See you guys later. Bye.
• 34:15
  Okay, bye. [laughs]