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OUTRO BITS: Jase Gets Stabbed · The Hauraki Big Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: For all your mad Bastards Loving the Big Show podcast,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Get Up Even Closer on Instagram, YouTube, and tik tok
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: for Raw Dogget four to seven every weekday on radio.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: The first nude woman I ever saw, oh God, was
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: a Penthouse that my mate Colin showed me. And I
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: was too young to see it because there was like
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: quite a full on image.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was like ten or something.
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: I think you're probably right, they're quite scarring those lay
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: boy you hang on, Jason before you went up my story.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Playboy's tasteful. It's like them lying. They're looking all hard.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: But whatever it is, it's not explicit y explicit. It's
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: a soft court it is. And then Penthouse is like, yo,
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: here is a big old member doing some ship.
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and my mate was checked this out man. Peenhouse
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: was more of the league spread. But then there was
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: another one, which was Larry Flint. What was his one?
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: Ah, wasn't that was the Woody House and movie.
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And that was the one where they had That
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: was the one where they had the six scenes.
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  Speaker 3: You're right, okay, Yeah, can I just hang on?
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I was just going to say homing because at the
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: time I was reading mostly like Kzone magazine and yeah,
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  Speaker 2: famous five and no that's quite old now, but yeah,
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  Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, it's just like boom check.
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  Speaker 5: I had exactly the same experience with one of my
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  Speaker 5: and I was about ten to two.
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  Speaker 3: It would have been like a scroll or something.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: Well, and we had at our school, at our boarding school,
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: we had what we called boot rooms yep, where you'd
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  Speaker 5: keep all your boots.
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  Speaker 6: Anyway, said go and check this out, man, and it
• 1:38
  Speaker 6: was a penthouse.
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  Speaker 5: And he showed me these pictures and I still remember
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  Speaker 5: to this day just burning up with heat.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 6: And I didn't know what I was feeling.
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  Speaker 5: I just felt really hot.
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  Speaker 7: I don't even know.
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  Speaker 6: I just send it as horny.
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  Speaker 5: No, just that I felt really flushed and hot. What
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  Speaker 5: you do with the boot on there? And then he
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  Speaker 5: read the leaders of the editor and then yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 5: and then beed off.
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  Speaker 3: I don't create new your special, but.
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  Speaker 5: I don't think I don't think I was beating off.
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  Speaker 5: Oh my god on a Friday, Friday's.
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  Speaker 3: Uber Night, takeaway night.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a it's a takeaway night special time.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, And I and I just feel like at the moment,
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  Speaker 6: I need some treats in my.
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  Speaker 4: Life, do you?
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
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  Speaker 4: Well, used today it was a sugar free day, wasn't it.
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  Speaker 7: Here?
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  Speaker 6: We fucking go.
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  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, smashed the red ball, that's true. Actually burons
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  Speaker 4: of sugar in that bastard.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, well that was actually my only sugar. I think,
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  Speaker 6: well done. Yeah, but I didn't even think about that.
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  Speaker 4: Congrats me.
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  Speaker 3: What is the rule? Is it one of those things
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  Speaker 3: where it says my wife's not around, I can do it.
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  Speaker 6: Well, she was there actually, but she wasn't when you
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  Speaker 6: had your read book?
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  Speaker 3: Is that the way your diets going?
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  Speaker 6: He actually got home and had a kom butcher.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fine.
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  Speaker 6: Is that all right? And I said that all right, Danny?
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  Speaker 5: But you know what was difficult apart from the coffee,
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  Speaker 5: and I usually have a feed of week books at
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  Speaker 5: the end of the night as well as my treat.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, but a pile of fucking brown sugar, so I
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  Speaker 6: couldn't have that.
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  Speaker 5: But what made matters worse was that we had three
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  Speaker 5: kit kats in the in the old fridge there and.
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  Speaker 6: Couldn't eat those as well. And I was having a
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  Speaker 6: real for sugar.
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  Speaker 4: I'm amazed that you have one day a week where
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  Speaker 4: you don't eat sugar. Yeah, like that's and that's that
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  Speaker 4: it's tough for you, tough for me, really tough.
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  Speaker 6: It's just tough. It was it wasn't great coffee.
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  Speaker 3: But when you say no sugar, what does that mean?
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  Speaker 5: Well, we try like there's going to be no treats. Basically,
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  Speaker 5: there's going to be stuff that has sugar in it, probably.
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  Speaker 4: But you're not having sugar in your coffee, you're not
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  Speaker 4: having red balls, you're not having you should be doing
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  Speaker 4: that five days a week. Oh fuck off, you should.
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  Speaker 4: You should not be eating treats seven days a week.
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  Speaker 4: And it's hard for you to go one day without
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  Speaker 4: haven't gone without you had a red.
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  Speaker 5: Bull sometimes sometimes as I say, my treat as wheatbacks,
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  Speaker 5: which I don't think is too excessive.
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  Speaker 6: I mean, I mean amount of sugar on it.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, But like let's say we had dinner and the
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  Speaker 2: dinner has like a sauce that you put on the
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  Speaker 2: whatever that's sugar.
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  Speaker 3: Are you allowed that?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah?
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  Speaker 6: I think so?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, right, So it's just treats.
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  Speaker 4: Well, treat if the if you've got a what dinner
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  Speaker 4: is a sugar sauce on it, that's dosser.
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  Speaker 2: No, like you know, any most of the sauces that
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  Speaker 2: you like a hellow fresher of food box type situation.
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  Speaker 2: The sauce is usually quite sweet and sugar sugar.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: I like, for example, when I take you Fellers out
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  Speaker 5: for dinner, j won't be having any pudding.
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  Speaker 2: No, no, because you're paying for it, so you'll, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: you'll be trying to scrimp. We won't have we won't
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  Speaker 2: have sugar sugar free. We'll go now, well you can
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: go home, man, but we'll order.
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  Speaker 5: Up and let me just put let me just put
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  Speaker 5: it on the record right now.
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  Speaker 6: There will be no pest drinking either.
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  Speaker 4: We'll be drinking. Person I'm going to get I'm going
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  Speaker 4: to fall off the wagon, just just for that, just
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  Speaker 4: for that some wines, Jase.
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  Speaker 3: What do you wean yourself off of sugar in your coffee? Right? Yeah?
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  Speaker 3: Like an adult? It tastes so good without sugar in it.
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  Speaker 2: So you wean yourself off there and then you can
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  Speaker 2: have a cat you know what I mean?
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  Speaker 3: You're not like tripling down on heavy.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, because how many how many coffee is you having
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  Speaker 4: to day?
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  Speaker 6: I have three?
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  Speaker 4: So you have six teaspoons of sugar in your coffee?
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  Speaker 5: No, because one of them is a long black and
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  Speaker 5: I don't have sugar in that, okay.
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  Speaker 3: So the one in the morning, well, you're gonna win yourself, like.
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  Speaker 6: Just put I wean myself of sugar.
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  Speaker 5: I'll tell you why. Here's the deal. I'll do that
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  Speaker 5: if you give up the Beersies.
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  Speaker 3: No, that's a ship deal.
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  Speaker 7: The Hikey Big Show week days from four on Radio Hdarkey.
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  Speaker 7: The Hidarchy Big Show was J and tune in four
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  Speaker 7: on radio.
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  Speaker 5: We were pretending to fight, and as our character from
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  Speaker 5: D and D there.
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  Speaker 4: Can I just into to ask you what your name was?
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  Speaker 6: I can't.
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  Speaker 3: You'd be a little druid.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, but yeah, I think I was a druid.
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  Speaker 3: Were you hole a druid?
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  Speaker 5: And he would have been some sort of muscular No,
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  Speaker 5: not the drewid. My mate was the you know, the
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  Speaker 5: the warrior type. And we were seriously pretending to fight
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  Speaker 5: with all the sound effects. I don't know what what
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  Speaker 5: was with?
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  Speaker 3: What were you?
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  Speaker 6: I think I was armed with like.
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  Speaker 2: Bolts, drud, like a crossbow, no, like lightning bolts, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: magical power.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, because I was a druid.
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  Speaker 5: And he and he had your knife, your bow and
• 7:02
  Speaker 5: all that sort of stuff.
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  Speaker 6: So then it was di doo with the knife into
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  Speaker 6: the old gut.
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  Speaker 4: So anybody, Yeah, but talk us through that, that whole thing,
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  Speaker 4: the realization, Ah, like, what's happened there?
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  Speaker 5: So he's he's parried forward at me in a stabbing motion.
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  Speaker 3: Carried forward, Yes.
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  Speaker 4: And I describe that knife.
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  Speaker 6: It was like a hunter's knife.
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  Speaker 4: So you and I, I think we had about this on
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  Speaker 4: their other highly successful podcast, All Talk with Jason Might
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  Speaker 4: and my description to you, I asked if it was
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  Speaker 4: like those old rambow knives that came out, yes, which
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  Speaker 4: had a smooth side on one side and then on
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  Speaker 4: the other side of the blade the straightage it was
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  Speaker 4: actually so they were designed to stab in and out
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  Speaker 4: to pull out the intestine.
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  Speaker 3: As he came back out.
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  Speaker 6: It was like that from recollection.
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  Speaker 5: But he didn't pull Oh well, so he go he parries,
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  Speaker 5: did douge, and I felt what I can only describe
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  Speaker 5: as a searing, burning pain in my stomach and I went,
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  Speaker 5: ah fuck.
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  Speaker 4: To me that I was six inch.
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  Speaker 6: No, maybe a year maybe longer. And I went ah fuck.
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  Speaker 5: And then I looked down at my school shirt and
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  Speaker 5: there was a beautiful clean cut on my.
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  Speaker 6: School He was in and out with it. It was
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  Speaker 6: in and out. It wasn't stay in there. It was
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  Speaker 6: like a parry.
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  Speaker 5: Parry is not there, I know, but I trusting out
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  Speaker 5: a jabs.
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  Speaker 6: And so I looked down at my school shirt. There's
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  Speaker 6: a beautiful clean cut on my shirt.
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  Speaker 4: That's good.
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  Speaker 5: And I thought to myself, how the fuck did that
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  Speaker 5: happen without actually cutting me? And then my mate who
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  Speaker 5: was holding said knife, saw the blood all over it
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  Speaker 5: and went oh fuck and freaked out and dropped the knife.
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  Speaker 4: And you you knew it was him.
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  Speaker 6: And I went, oh fuck.
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  Speaker 5: And then I lifted up my school shirt and my
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  Speaker 5: testine was bulging out. That's yeah, And I went, ah fuck.
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  Speaker 5: And that was that was the closest I got to fainting. Yes,
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  Speaker 5: I got a woozy woozy, a bit woozy. Did you
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  Speaker 5: do one of your one of your healing potions? I
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: should have that, I should have got one of my
• 9:33
  Speaker 5: potions out. And then we wanted up to the old
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: death surgery there school surgery, and we had our old
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: matron there with the purple here, and she was sitting
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  Speaker 5: in the surgery. And I walked into the surgery and
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  Speaker 5: lifted up my shirt and went pickyboo.
• 9:49
  Speaker 6: I went pickypoo, and.
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  Speaker 5: She went white and then went, oh my god, lie down,
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  Speaker 5: and then the pain kicked.
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  Speaker 3: In right so, because it was fucking painful.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I love how I've heard about you being stabbed, and
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: for some reason, I thought it happened at hard Tack,
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  Speaker 2: But it was because you were live action role playing
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  Speaker 2: G and D at high school.
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  Speaker 4: Funny a how old you were you because you might
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  Speaker 4: have been younger that you were boarding school
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  Speaker 5: Thirteen thirteen, I think that's a forem almost yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 5: and then yeah, that was the end of it after
• 10:23
  Speaker 5: hospital