Latest / The Treehouse Show Podcast / The Eclipse is Coming | The Treehouse Podcast, Episode 89

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The Eclipse is Coming | The Treehouse Podcast, Episode 89 · The Treehouse Show Podcast

0:24
It is time to leave your worries outside and join me Janel Malley, Trade
0:30
Trenholm and Rod Sharma right here inside the Treehouse. Coming up today. There
0:42
is one thing that you have got to do before you can do anything else,
0:48
and I'll tell you what that is. And what I mean by that
0:50
is, there's one thing that you need to do before you can do anything
0:54
else in life, whether it's start your own business, ask the girl out
0:59
that you've been wanting to, before you do anything of any importance, there's
1:04
one thing you have to do first, and I'll tell you what that is
1:07
in today's episode of the Treeouse. Also, I have a new favorite thing
1:14
to do I'm going to share with you both, and I think you're both
1:18
going to enjoy this because I think you're in on this hobby with me.
1:22
You just don't know it yet. But first, but first, my question
1:30
to you Raj and to you Trey is are you ready for the eclipse?
1:38
So let's get stupid in the treeous. Yeah, So are you ready for
1:41
the eclipse? Gentlemen? Are you eclipse ready? Are you ready for totality?
1:49
I don't know if you guys have seen, but the price of tickets
1:52
from Austin to Dallas on Southwestern Now one thousand dollars on the clip today.
1:57
I have not seen that. I thought you were about to say that someone
2:00
was selling tickets to the eclipse, and it would be that would be Donald
2:05
Trump. He's gonna sell eclipse. They're the best. It's the best,
2:13
the best, the best eclipse. Yeah, the most amazing clips ever.
2:16
Trump the Trump Eclipse. I like that, and people would buy it.
2:21
Honestly, I'd probably buy it that way I can, I'd have someplace to
2:23
where my my Trump air once. Yeah, but if you think about it,
2:30
he's actually probably the last person who wants the orange to go away.
2:36
Wow there, I mean, you guys remember the last eclipse where he looked
2:39
up at the sun. He wasn't the only one. We've all done it,
2:45
no, yeah, when we were eight, when when we were the
2:47
commander of the free world. It's like anything, though, when anyone tells
2:52
you not to do something, you you you do the thing nobody told him.
2:57
How much do you want to any of them? Because like, this
3:00
is one of the biggest eclipse we've seen in our lifetime, and there are
3:05
so many bars and places doing eclips watching parties. Wait for the lawsuit you
3:10
all getting, wait for the lawsuits for you know, the places that didn't
3:14
properly warn the idiots don't stare at the sun during an eclipse. I think
3:19
you're right, Trey. And it's also the lawsuit is going to include complaints
3:23
that the establishment did not provide adequate eyewear to look at set eclips. And
3:30
you're right. I can easily see an attorney jumping all over that. Because
3:34
if you're a bar and you decide to hold an eclipse watching party, and
3:39
now that's the whole point of the event, and you sell tickets and you're
3:42
making money, and if you don't provide an adequate safe environment for people to
3:50
enjoy the event that you're selling tickets to, then yeah, you're gonna get
3:53
sued. I just can't. I saw an advert for the like Hard Knight's
4:00
Day is playing and it's the eclipse watching party, and it's twenty five dollars
4:03
a ticket away, and I'm like, how about just outside? Like,
4:08
I don't know why. I can't imagine if I told my I'm so glad
4:11
my parents were passed away, if I would like, hey, you know,
4:13
we spent one hundred dollars on these tickets to watch an eclip. So
4:16
my dad would just look be like as opposed to going outside, like yeah,
4:21
there's the park is free. That makes no sense to me, just
4:26
walk outside. Yeah, And in advance of the eclipse. I don't know
4:30
if you guys saw this the other day, Kaufman County already applied for and
4:33
I believe was approved by the state a declaration, a disaster declaration in advance
4:42
of the eclipse, so they are ready to go with emergency powers in hand,
4:47
just in case, because they remember back in twenty seventeen they had issues
4:53
with traffic and issues at gas stations. There are places recommending you in answer
5:00
the eclipse to fill up on gas before the day of What do they think
5:05
is going to happen? Sounds like a run on gas or something. I
5:08
don't know. I did, like there's traffic gridlock, so people don't have
5:12
enough gas in the tank. Maybe they run out on I thirty five.
5:15
I don't know. They're just saying get gas before the eclipse, and Kaufman
5:19
County in the path of totality. They're really just you know, trying to
5:24
get ready for it. How long does is the eclipse scheduled to last like
5:28
four minutes. Yeah, and we need gas. Okay, it's a big
5:35
dumb world and we're here to make fun of I just that's I mean,
5:42
okay, like this is a very America problem. No, it is four
5:46
minutes. We need gas. Not only that, but I'll paint a scenario
5:51
for you. Okay, your gorid luck on six thirty five LBJ. All
5:59
right, So anynutes, any any day day. I'm honest to god,
6:06
if it's only an that's a good day. So a clip starts, people
6:14
are like, oh my gosh, let's get out of our car, let's
6:15
look straight up at it. Oh we're blind. Now, let's get back
6:18
and drive. I don't think gas is your issue. I think insurance is
6:23
your issue. I think living is your issue. For first responders, are
6:30
we needed not shell? Okay, maybe clip? Maybe eclipses are Darwinian tools.
6:40
Oh yeah, I think so we're thinning out the bird on the eighth.
6:47
I'm good with that. Okay with that. And not only do we
6:53
need to be told not to look at the eclipse and everything and to get
6:56
gas ahead of time, because some of us are going to treat it like
6:59
a an emergency type apocalypse type scenario. I don't know, but we need
7:06
it explained to us like we're children, because most of us don't understand the
7:13
science behind the eclipse. So this is where I'd like to introduce you to
7:17
WFAA meteorologist Mariel Ruiz. And she I don't know if this was her idea
7:26
or if she was tasked with being the low meteorologist on the Channel eight totem
7:33
pole to explain to eclipse. Explain to all of us. Can I ask
7:43
you a question, Daniel, Have either one of y'all heard her before?
7:46
This is my first time. No, Raj, I don't watch local news.
7:53
She has the most cringey way of the way she talks about stuff,
8:01
so I imagine I this is going to be very cringey. Just so,
8:05
here is WA meteorologist Mariel Ruiz explaining to all of us the eclipse is coming
8:15
to North Texas, and I'm going to break it down for you. This
8:18
is what an eclipse is, at least a solar eclipse. Simply put,
8:22
it's whenever the Moon positions itself between the Earth and the Sun, and when
8:28
this happens, it's going to cast a big shadow across the continental United States.
8:35
Everyone in the States will see at least a partial eclipse. So is
8:41
this what you're talking about, Trey? Uh huh, Yeah, it's really
8:43
it's this isn't even as grating as I've seen her. But yes, it's
8:48
almost patronizing, and it is patronizing, but it needs to be. That's
8:54
the thing she's she's doing this because most people don't understand this stuff and they
8:58
need to be spoken to like they're seven years old. So this is actually,
9:03
I think a good thing, so everyone can understand what's going to happen.
9:07
Of course, the married man says that I'll dare you, sir,
9:18
we can just exit out of the show now I know where that was great.
9:24
The masses are generally stupid, so therefore we need to be talked to
9:31
like we're, you know, children, in order to understand things. This
9:35
should have a yeah that I'm saying it, Treya does sound early familiar to
9:37
me explaining things to my wife and why I don't remember things, Explain it
9:41
to me like yeah. This should also have a header that just says not
9:46
for Asians, we understand how Yeah, but this path here that I've drawn
9:54
out, that's totality meaning the sun will be completely blocked by the moon.
10:00
I'm gonna zoom in here to North Texas. Here's where the total eclipse path
10:03
will be, meaning areas in Fort Worth, Dallas, anywhere over towards Kaufman
10:09
County will be in the total eclipse. That white line that you see there,
10:13
that's the center of the shadow. Yeah, that's not just a penile
10:16
vein. If you are outside of this yellow line, that means you'll witness
10:20
a partial eclipse. And I've broken it down even more, the total solar
10:26
eclipse time and totality, so time that the sun will be completely covered.
10:31
At this point, Tray, I need to hear it. I'm just waiting
10:33
for her to say, can all you kids say it with me? Totality
10:37
and then altogether we all repeat totality. Yeah, and that's good. And
10:41
then she goes back to explaining in minutes, the closer you are to the
10:48
central line, the closer you'll be to four and a half minutes of darkness.
10:54
I've broken it down even more. We'll notice totality between one in the
10:58
afternoon to one forty four in the afternoon, so four minutes about give or
11:03
take a minute. As far as four minutes. You can't give her take
11:11
a minute when you're dealing in minutes. Yes, other people were just between
11:16
three and five minutes. It's four minutes, give or take two minutes.
11:22
No, that doesn't work. Clearly you're not one hundred percent on that totality
11:26
thing. Also, I think Pete Delkis feels pretty confident that she's not going
11:35
to be taking away his chief meteorologist status anytimes. This is so bad.
11:43
This is when you know you're trying to fill content like this. No,
11:46
I think this is good. This is what is my point. People need
11:48
to be explained to sometimes in the simplest forms possible. Okay, but she
11:56
hid and then it got simpler, and then it got simpler again, Like
12:01
who is this for? She's like when she said give her take a minute,
12:05
I just looked AT's face. I was like, yeah, we're about
12:07
to say the same thing four minutes, give her take a minute. No,
12:13
that's not how that works. That's not how time works. I think
12:16
she's been here like two years now, Like I obviously she tests well and
12:20
like she people like this, I just know who's watching weekend weather. That
12:30
isn't she the person? She's she's on she's on the mornings. On the
12:33
Morning ship does midday, she does the good morning Texas, Oh my Florida.
12:39
That is you're so right, trade that is so hard. It's like
12:41
listening to a kindergarten teacher. Well, let's listen, just trying to talk
12:46
to adults. Now, now let's have her show us the eclipse. Like
12:50
like in the book, everyone in the state, everyone at least sees a
12:54
partial eclipse. But in Dallas, weather permitting, you'll be able to see
12:58
the sun fully covered for three minutes and fifty one seconds. In Fort Worth
13:03
it changes drastically two minutes twenty four seconds, McKinney, three minutes and four
13:09
seconds, and some locations will actually see closer to three minutes twenty seconds.
13:15
If you're closer to Arlington, one of the areas that will notice the total
13:20
darkness for the longest amount of time. Will he walks a Haadi with four
13:24
minutes and eighteen seconds. The big winners are closer to Eagle Pass, they'll
13:28
be closer to four minutes and twenty eight seconds. Ten seconds. The big
13:33
winner is coming. What's that tray? I mean they were going to be
13:37
ten seconds longer in Arlington. So yes, they are the big winner.
13:39
They are I mean, and two minutes is drastic. I don't know about
13:45
I don't know what you guys just described it as drastic. But I think
13:48
drastic is stirring your coffee with penis. That's drastic. This is this is
13:52
just a minute. Here's the other thing. I keep looking at her.
13:56
She's taken on a little bit of like a LaToya Jackson. Look. Oh,
14:01
I was wondering who it was good call? Okay, I was like,
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who does she remind me of? Interesting? LaToya is good? All
14:07
right? It could be LaToya could be mine. That's trying nice. He's
14:16
doing he's doing weather now, Dan, Dan, we're in your show prep
14:28
notes. Did we did you get to this point rampant misogyny? No?
14:35
I don't write that down, No, no, no. When I have
14:39
a pair of fobios on the show with me talking about LaToya doing weather on
14:43
Channel eight, then yeah, no, I don't want to write that stuff
14:46
down. And Trade defends he did say Michael at one point, has anyone
14:52
seemed Tito like is that he works at a Wiener Schnitzel and Shriman Oaks.
14:58
That's what that's what it's you know, in Randy are right now Germaine's delivering
15:05
for grubb ub. You almost got to spit take you almost out of me,
15:18
we think. Uh. Stopping short of insulting meteorologist Muriel Ruiz from Channel
15:24
eight, we need to thank her for her very simple explanation on the eclipse
15:30
so all of us idiots can understand. Give her take a minute, what's
15:35
going to happen? Also, if you notice on the map looks like what's
15:39
really want to make a day of it. You cannot only take in the
15:43
eclipse, but you can, you know, go to the shops. Uh,
15:46
you know, go to the outlet mall in Hillsborough and really make it
15:48
a full day of it. It's closed, it closed. Yeah, after
15:54
COVID there's no there's no more outlet mall in Hillsborough. M I didn't well
16:00
ship. Yeah, if you're if you're ordering from there, Dan and you're
16:04
wondering why it hasn't shown up yet, just why Well that that definitely explains
16:10
some things. I know. There's a big party at Choctaw, is there
16:15
really? Yeah? Rooms Uh, rooms are going for like five hundred Yeah,
16:21
I told you. Fights on southwester one thousand dollars so so people can
16:26
be in the air when it happens. I'm like, this is the dumbest
16:27
thing. And and you said, for explaining how the eclipse works, it's
16:32
in the name, it's going it's going to eclipse. Yeah, but wait,
16:38
let's not have to do with the mitsubishie that was my car in college.
16:45
This is why Mary ol Ruiz needs to explain things to us, because
16:49
there's an idiot watching Channel eight going, what's Mitch doing in space? I
16:56
thought that was Elon Musk's car. That that's the person that needs to look
16:59
up at this on when that happened. No, that's the person that has
17:02
repeatedly already looked up at the sun. They just call him Eclipse Daryl.
17:11
He's always staring at him. Although blind, he is also still driving around
17:17
in his eclipse. Wow. Well, well, thank you to her.
17:22
First, I would actually like I would like Mary old Ruiz to explain other
17:25
things to us now. I'd like like, let's not stop short, you
17:27
know, let's let's let's keep this thing going. I can't wait to see
17:30
what else you could teach me about that. Do you have do you have
17:33
more examples? No, this is the only when I have of actual examples.
17:37
I'm just saying it like I'd be curious to have her explain the electoral
17:41
college that was nicely placed. I like it. I like yourself. I
17:52
got my moments. It does online that Treehouse on air dot com. Let's
18:10
get Daniel Cook from Cookdfwroofing and Restoration into the treehouse now for your free roof
18:15
inspection. Give the man a call eight three to three, COOKDFW the website,
18:18
cookdfw dot com. Daniel, since you've taken my call, I'm going
18:22
to assume you did not win the power Ball last night, although I don't
18:26
see Kerrie behind you, so maybe she did and she bolted. What's the
18:29
deal? You know? Unfortunately we're not very good players of that. So
18:32
Carball the Mega millions, I know, you know it's only a buck or
18:37
two, but it's just like, I don't know one in three hundred million.
18:41
The odds just aren't in my favorite there, so they're not. It's
18:44
like they always say, it's like you're you have better odds of being struck
18:48
by lightning. Well, the people that say those odds don't realize that you,
18:52
Daniel, spend a good time of your life on a roof in danger
18:56
of being hit by lightning at any possible time. So I understand how you
19:00
would like your odds to be better with the bower Ball, and I don't
19:03
blame you. But since the man has not won bower Ball and he's not
19:07
been struck by lightning while taking care of somebody else's roof, he's available to
19:10
take care of yours. So give him a call A three to three Cook
19:14
DFW the website cookdfw dot com. You're in the tree house listens online at
19:33
Treehouseonair dot com. This segment of the Treehouse has brought to you by the
19:40
Dallas Comedy Club for comedy five nights a week in this safe corner of dp
19:45
elam. Go to the Dallas Comedy Club. It is your new home for
19:48
funny in DFW. The Dallas Comedy Club comedy five nights a week. For
19:52
ticket and event info, go to Dallas Dash Comedy Club dot com. That's
19:56
Dallas Dash Comedy Club dot com. This segment also brought to you by are
20:02
good good friends at COOKDFW Roofing and Restoration for your free roof inspection called Daniel
20:08
and Kerry Cook right now eight three three Cook DFW or the website cookdfw dot
20:14
com. Something good to do ahead of the spring storms that you know are
20:18
going to happen. Make sure your roof is prepared for the onslaught to come
20:22
eight three to three COOKDFW or cookdfw dot com. Rog. What were you
20:26
saying about the bars about the eclipse? I was I was just wondering how
20:30
many bars, like when it was like New Year's nineteen nine nine going to
20:33
two thousand, like Prince like Party Likes nineteen ninety nine played. Oh yeah,
20:37
I wonder how many people are gonna do Total Eclipse of the Heart.
20:41
Oh, I hope all of them. Yeah, that would have that that
20:45
song has to start right when it and when the eclipse starts. And then
20:48
at the end for all the people that looked at the sun, play blister
20:52
in the Sun. Well play well violent films reference. Yeah. No,
21:06
not only that, but I would my preference on the Total Eclipse of the
21:10
Heart song would be the Dan Band version drop Bombs for No Reason in the
21:18
Middle of It. Still one of the greatest, Still one of the greatest
21:22
shows I've seen of was was the Dan Band. That was a great show
21:26
back in the We had them on the radio show and they were in town
21:30
for the show. We had them in the studio really, and then we
21:33
went to the show that night. God, it was good. He's saying
21:38
Muskrat Love by himself. So it was it was just Dan, the lead
21:42
singer of the Dan Band. It was just him on blacked out stage,
21:48
one single spotlight on him singing Muskrat Love to a finger puppet. It was
21:53
a thing of beauty. Wow, okay Dan, was that when he was
21:57
just a town on your show? Or are you talking about when he played
22:04
they played the Live eight or whatever? It was that one, Yeah,
22:11
he was at Yeah. I think we were filling in, like we were
22:15
filling in for Jagger or something, and or maybe it was maybe it was
22:19
filling in for Pugs and Kelly. I can't remember. It was we were
22:22
filling in and then then I had to go and do Russ's show afterwards,
22:26
but we had them on the show, and then that night we went and
22:29
saw the actual show. I think it was at Trees and god, that
22:33
was fun. Wow, okay, I seriously good show. Yeah, I
22:38
know they got a huge pop after Wednesday or no, what was it was
22:41
the movie? It was a few It was old school. That's what it
22:47
was, old school. And then they also had They also had the appearance
22:52
in the Starsky and Hutch movie that that was pretty good as well, and
22:56
wedding Crashers too, Dad, I don't recall. Yeah, they got a
23:06
nice pomp, and I know they were touring for a while. I just
23:07
didn't I hadn't heard any reviews from the show, so I just thought it
23:11
was like a nostalgia thing. People are like, oh, let's go watch
23:12
those guys from the show. But it's apparently a really good show. It
23:15
was fun. It was a lot of fun. The show they put on
23:18
for at No at the time whatever it was no Kia, but uh uh
23:26
they I was actually shocked at how good of a show he put on.
23:30
Yeah, he kind of thought it. They thought it's a novelty act.
23:33
But they're actually good. Okay, cool. I'm if they're I don't know
23:37
if they're touring again, but I would I will definitely check it out because
23:41
I mean they were funny as hell. Man Like that was a great But
23:44
I mean, I hope they do play that version of the song during the
23:45
eclipse. But that's gotta be the go to song, right, It's terribal
23:48
e clips of the heart, yeah, and then like are gonna go through
23:52
the roof? And then and then violent films immediately. Yeah. All right,
23:59
so I mentioned it earlier, and I want to tell you guys now,
24:03
the one thing that you have to do before you can do anything else
24:06
in life. Whether it's whatever major goal you have in life, it doesn't
24:14
matter what it is, how big, how small, it really doesn't matter.
24:17
There's one thing that you have to do in order to guarantee success,
24:19
right, and that is okay, you have to wash yourself. And it
24:26
seems like something obvious to us, but I'm going to tell you a story
24:30
about a man from Taiwan who recently discovered a massive buildup of smegma in the
24:41
foreskin of his penis, so massive in fact, the doctor that discovered it.
24:49
I mean, it's big enough right there where it has to be mentioned
24:53
like a medical discovery. Thirty year build up smegma in the in the foreskin
25:02
of his penis, all because he didn't wash himself. I want to leave
25:07
the show. I don't blame you, I don't want to throw This is
25:18
easily the most disgusting thing I have ever read. I've seen more disgusting things
25:23
with my eyes. But this is the most disgusting thing I've ever read.
25:30
Thirty years thirty years. A man from Taiwan rushed to the doctor after finding
25:33
a stomach turning thirty years magma build up in its penis. The patient was
25:40
taking a shower when he felt pain in his genitals and bits of hardened dirt
25:45
began to fall into the drain. Mistaking them for kidney stones, he hurried
25:52
to the urologist, and this was on March. This is on March fourteenth.
25:57
The urologist peeled back to them's foreskin, but that was fun, and
26:02
beheld the revolting accumulation of sickly yellow brown smegma. As the doctor cleaned up
26:10
the calcified scales of dirt, oil, and dead skin, a foul odor
26:14
began to fill the entire clinic, and the doctor made it a point to
26:22
mention that no one seems to have told him the patient that the foreskin can
26:26
be retracted, you know, to expose the entire gland to be cleaned.
26:32
He even added, the doctor said he actually sees patients with excessive megma build
26:37
up around every two years. Oh my god, I mean, how like
26:47
this guy must have had like a two foot crank, because it sounds like
26:52
it sounds like the doctor peeled back the force in in quato came out.
27:02
He found he found the mars resistance inside this man's shirts him. I think
27:08
at that point even I would be screaming get through the job and that these
27:14
people need air. Wo wow, that is yeah, that's gross. I
27:25
don't even know, but yeah, that was my Again, Trey and I
27:27
today for whatever, on the same point when I was like, how big
27:30
was this junk? If he's like, yeah, I can't pull that back,
27:36
he didn't have to. Maybe Quatta was in there and he just reached
27:37
his hand out, and it's like, that actually makes sense because if it's
27:41
that big, it's going to be a two man job. That's the only
27:48
job happening down there for him. So well, that's that's the other thing.
27:52
That's the other thing that this doctor says that is stunning to me is
27:56
the doctor said the patient's private parts had not been active for thirty years.
28:03
If we hadn't found it, his partner might have discovered this treasure first.
28:11
Oh and here he mentions not necessarily the length of the man's manhood, but
28:17
specifically the foreskin. The doctor says the patient was reported to have a rather
28:22
long foreskin, but no ability to pull back the foreskin. So maybe he
28:29
just has a normal size, you know, wiener, but the successive foreskin
28:33
that he just can't get it. Fact, maybe the foreskin is longer than
28:37
his actual you know member, so he can't pull it back all the way.
28:41
So he's like a kid in an extra large hoodie. And now I
28:48
know what it's saying. You know, one man's junk is another man's treasure.
28:56
Yeah, how would you like to be the cartographer's Taiwan he's saying.
29:04
The doctor also said, we think this build up was there for thirty years.
29:07
The whole thing broke apart like stone giving off a powerful odor. Oh
29:14
wow. Uh. The doctor also urged men to clean their penis and foreskin
29:18
daily with water and a little soap while showering. Uh. He even said
29:22
there's currently sufficient health information in school education and on the internet, and the
29:26
accessibility of medical resources in Taiwan is also very high. If you have a
29:30
problem that you don't understand, it's recommended to seek medical advice from a specialist.
29:34
And that's what this guy did. It's just amazing to me how for
29:37
thirty years you didn't it was he So he was bathing, Yeah, but
29:45
I guess he was bathing things, not including his actual junk. Wow,
29:49
because if you're doing it, then you don't get the smegma calcified, calcified
29:56
smegma that I think is one of the most disgusting parts of the story.
30:00
As if it could get worse. It's like, it's not fresh smegma,
30:04
it's it's calcified. And that's how we heard it because it fell out of
30:10
it fell out of his horse kin and hit the tile on the shower floor.
30:15
Imagine that wonderful sound. Yeah, imagine had it not broken. So
30:21
you don't have to imagine that. I think I can probably recreate it right
30:22
here. Oh oh, I see. Now, if you're not watching this
30:30
episode of the Treehouse on Patreon and you're just simply listening to it, you
30:36
don't know that this is my pin hitting my coffee cup. To you,
30:41
that's Smegma hitting the hitting the tile. Yeah. Yeah, and he thought
30:48
it was so bad he thought it was kidney stones. Yeah. See,
30:52
that's how I know he's never had kidney stones. Uh, knock on what
31:00
I've not either. But I've heard the horror stories that so that his calcified
31:07
smegma was as painful as kidney stones? Is that what he was trying to
31:11
say? Well, not as kidney stones, but he apparently it was.
31:14
Apparently it was agonizing pain for him. I mean that that's not a brand
31:18
new pain. I mean it's look I mean, by the time the first
31:22
smegma stone happens, Yeah, it wasn't It wasn't they the first megma stone
31:30
didn't form right then and there in the shower and then fall out. Calcification
31:34
of things takes a long time, so it's not like this was day one
31:40
of his hurting peepee. But so nobody's like he's never like, nobody's handled
31:45
his junk. That's That's one of the mysteries of this story. It's like
31:49
one he he never discovered it in thirty years and he's married, so his
31:53
partner never discovered it. What have they been doing? Yeah? Is he
31:59
a lady boy? I don't know. That's Thailand. Other time's where this
32:07
was no Taiwan. Oh No, I've lost interest in this. I crossed
32:16
up my stereotypes. Wake me up when it's wake me up when it's Thailand.
32:24
Trust me, Trey, a lady boy in Thailand will have discovered this
32:29
well thirty years it. He'll make a lot of money. M Yeah,
32:37
in some countries this would go on tour. Fuck the Donkey Show, I
32:50
think that's what it's called. We're listening to the Treehouse. Visit us online
33:08
a treehouse OnAir dot com. Let's get Jacqueline into the treehouse now from Brooks
33:20
Plumbing for any and all of your plumbing wants and needs, give her a
33:22
call to one four three six eight thirty eight thirty eight the website Brooks Plumbing,
33:27
Texas dot com. Jacqueline, We've known each other for quite a while
33:29
now, so I feel like our relationship has moved into this territory where I
33:35
can ask you professionally speaking. Of course, you ever had to clean up
33:37
a smegma build up and somebody's plumbing. No, I haven't, and I
33:44
want to know if you knew what that word meant. Well, according to
33:46
the dictionary stuff that I've looked up over the past week, it's the collection
33:52
of oil's dead skin cells and other moisture in the genitals, So it's kind
33:55
of similar. This one's gross. We're gonna get real gross. I have
34:00
three dogs, and my first boy dog ever was Fury. He's my big
34:06
half pit bowl, half red healer. He's eighty five pounds and again,
34:08
first boy dog I've ever had. When I first got him, he was
34:13
laying on my lap tits up, as we like to call it in this
34:15
family. It was laying tits up on the couch, so that's our how
34:20
we say it. And so he's laying tits up on my lap and I
34:22
looked down at his little man bit and I was like, ugh, what
34:24
is that? And I was and I went to Google, and I was
34:28
like, what is Essentially I don't know how to say this without sounding really
34:32
tacky. It was almost like a pre ejaculation liquid. And I was like,
34:37
what is this? So I googled what is the liquid? Because it
34:40
wasn't urine. I could tell it wasn't. And so the only definition I
34:45
know of smegma is basically like oils that males dog's dog genitelia secretes. And
34:52
so in my mind I was thinking dogs, But no, we don't have
34:58
any way of knowing that that's in your pipes. So I'm kind of pleased
35:02
to announce that if we run the camera, we're not gonna probably be able
35:07
to identify that. Now, if you flush the whole sock, we'll know
35:10
when we pull that out, you know what I mean. And that's good
35:13
to know as a plumbing customer. They're going to get the thing out of
35:16
there that's causing any issues and they're not going to send it to a lab
35:20
for analysis. And even if they know what it is, they're not going
35:22
to say anything anyway because they're professional. We are very much a look the
35:28
other way company. So if you are, you know, disposing of something
35:31
via the sewer system and it gets clogged, we're just going to unstop it
35:35
and keep going. It's not our business respecting your privacy every single day at
35:42
Brooks Plumbing, no matter what you'll find, So give them a call two
35:45
one four, three six eight thirty eight thirty eight. The website Brooks Plumbingtexas
35:47
dot com. You're listening to the tree House. Visit us online our Treehouse
35:57
on air dot com. Thank you sir. This segment of the Treehouse is
36:00
brought to you. Buy Brooks Plumbing for any and all of your plumbing wants
36:05
and needs. Called Jacqueline at Brooks Plumbing two one four three six eight thirty
36:08
eight thirty eight. That's two one four three six eight thirty eight thirty eight,
36:13
or the website Brooks Plumbingtexas dot com. One other thing I wanted to
36:17
mention about the smegma penis man from Taiwan is there is also something that is
36:30
known as cheesy penis syndrome. Now, this is what would happen before the
36:37
smegma stone. So before your smegma gets calcified. Some people may think that
36:43
you have an STD, but it's not h it's in fact cheesy penis syndrome
36:49
because the sec the smegma is sometimes when it's initially collecting around the genitals,
36:57
it'll have a white, yellowish, sticky, cheesy look to it. So,
37:04
uh, if you're if you're on the hunt for, uh, something
37:07
new to throw on your charcuterie board. So so this cheese is from Taiwan,
37:15
I don't want it. I don't want it. So for twenty nine
37:20
years they thought this guy had to clap. Maybe maybe you know those navy
37:29
guys a horde. Every port probably relieved, Yeah, oh thank god,
37:40
I don't have an SDD. Congratulations, you're just a stinky Smegma Gamee Man.
37:49
I thought I was just spreading this around like wild fuck. It turns
37:51
out you guys are all stafe. I'm just dirty, dirty, dirty,
37:58
like somewhere they're they're a whole. The people going really, dude, come
38:00
on, there's probably people who have been following this guy with some salt thinking
38:07
they're gonna kill a snail. That is a nasty trail that man leaves behind
38:20
him, also impressive on the ground. You know, he's gonna be doing
38:28
like sponsorships with a washcloths. That's gonna be like his next endorsement. Yeah,
38:35
he's gonna he's gonna be the new face of scrub Daddy and sham Wow.
38:42
Yeah, bring out the sham Wow guy and then bring this guy next
38:46
to the sham Wow guy. Take off this fanta say all right, let's
38:49
say how good that sham Wow works? Clean this? Then it really would
38:53
be didn't the sham Wow guy get arrested for like meth or something that's still
39:04
that is known as the Smegma Man of Taiwan? And really was anyone surprised
39:10
by that? Like is anyone surprised the sham Wow guy was on a stimulant?
39:15
The same way as asking the question, does anybody surprised that Billy Mays
39:21
was on cocaine? Hey man, my pillow guy discovered, like made the
39:29
pillow while he was on crack. Definite when you want to be like,
39:32
you know what, I need a pillow? Did any of y'all ever watch
39:36
the show Pitchman, which it was a reality show about those guys like Billy.
39:40
Billy a couple of clips from it, but I never saw it.
39:44
It really is a fascinating show about the process of getting I mean, those
39:50
guys make a lot of money, but they're very picky of like they go
39:53
to all these trade shows and yeah, the different products and getting him at
39:57
the right price and everything else. It was. I'm sure it's on one
40:00
of the streaming services. It's worth a watch. It's pretty interesting. Didn't
40:05
he hit his head in a plane? Is that what happened to Billy Mays?
40:08
He was on a flight and like there was turbulence and he bumped his
40:12
head and didn't think anything of it and it was a brain bleed. No,
40:15
I thought it. I thought he actually died of a heart attack.
40:16
No, Billy Mays, I thought it was a i q R right there.
40:21
Was something happened that led up to uh, his death. I think
40:28
they also did find coke in a system, of course they did. Well,
40:35
that's how your head hits the fuselage of a plane when the plane's not
40:38
even in the air. You do a couple of bumps, and you creat
40:44
your own jurbulence. Let's see, I just looked it up. Yeah,
40:49
he was on a flight he had taken early in the day in which the
40:51
place sustained a rough landing after blowing its tires. Uh, the tires on
40:57
the plane blew out and he was in I guess first class or whatever,
41:00
and when it popped, he hit the the baggage part of the o red
41:07
bin. He hit that with his head and he didn't think anything of it,
41:09
and uh it was a brainlead. But they did find excessive amounts of
41:15
cocaine system. Okay, so I don't need to apologize to his family.
41:17
Okay, No, No, I'm sorry that he died, but he's I
41:22
mean again, wasn't surprised to note that the man was on cocaine. No
41:24
one is ever that excited about a cleaning product. I don't care how good
41:28
it is. Well, this guy in Taiwan's got to be ecstatic. I
41:34
tell you what in the next oxy clean commercial, if you can clean that
41:37
dude's wiener, Now, that's a whole other level of cleaning prowess. I
41:44
sadly want to see this infomercials, like, do you guys have a mess
41:46
you can't clean up? Come in here, guy from Taiwan. Let me
41:50
let me show you what this can I'll buy that sham wow, Like you
41:52
know, if you can clean that up? Well, not that. And
41:59
it also give Quato a job too, because you know you have to have
42:01
that and if you buy now and then he reached over and you know you
42:05
have a little and honestly, it's about time he started pulling his own weight.
42:15
Yeah, I mean it's such a drag. Yeah, get and buy
42:21
on a free ride this whole time, Billy Mays had so He also had
42:30
untreated heart disease caused by are you ready? I didn't I wouldn't pick it.
42:35
I guess like I would pick him, like, hey, I'm gonna
42:37
go to Vegas, I'm gonna party, let's do a couple of bumps whatever,
42:39
right, But he had prolonged and excessive cocaine use that led to some
42:45
of your heart disease. That's the Billy Mays I remember. See, I
42:54
don't think I don't think the plane suffered a hard landing. I think the
42:59
plane suffered a coke Billy Mays. The tires didn't blow out. He just
43:08
tried to snort him exactly what happened. That's how hard he sniffed in the
43:13
laboratory. He took all the air right out of the landing gear. He
43:17
did so much Cokeie blow out the tires. That's gonna be a new euphemism
43:25
now for going to Vegas. Hey, we're gonna go to Vegas. We're
43:28
blown out the fucking tires. Oh you'll see, all right. One last
43:32
thing, speaking of gross things in Asia, and because we've we've been on
43:38
such a kick over this last calendar year about things happening in and around Mount
43:45
Everest, it seems as though Mount Everest is making a run at Yellowstone National
43:52
Park as the scariest place on Earth, because in the last week alone,
44:00
with the beginning of hiking season on Mount Everest, I've seen stories about how
44:07
climbers are now required to pay I believe it's a ten dollars fee or deposit
44:14
for a tracker that they have to wear on their person the entire time they
44:20
go up and then return to Everest. I assume then maybe you get your
44:22
ten dollars back. If you die, then they keep your ten bucks.
44:27
But you have to have a tracker now, so it makes it easier for
44:30
rescue teams to find your ass if you get stuck. And speaking of ass
44:36
on Mount Everest, the Nepalese government is also requiring climbers to take hoop bags,
44:45
to take poop bags that they will supply you with that comes with chemicals
44:49
for you the climber to bag your own poop and then carry it back down
44:52
the mountain and return it to base camp. I don't know though, if
44:58
the climber him or her e is the one that is supposed to carry his
45:02
or her own pooh, or if that's something else they're going to add on
45:07
top of the back of the sherpas. And that's not all. There was
45:13
also an animal attack that I've never heard of before in just the last handful
45:17
of days that happened near Mount Everest. I understand that yaks have horns,
45:23
but I've never known them to attack people up until the other day. A
45:29
lady who was near Mount Everest. I think she was trekking towards base camp
45:31
or something like that is facetiming with her family back in Wales, and she
45:37
got attacked by a yak and it gored her leg to the extent of like
45:45
a three inch laceration or puncture whatever it was. But yeah, I mean
45:52
yak attacks. Now on Mount Everest, my mother fell off. My mother
45:55
fell off a yack and broke her arm because it kind of bucked her as
46:02
she was trucking. That's a story right there. You're not going to hear
46:06
anywhere else. Yeah. I laughed when she called like, I fell off
46:14
a yak, and I immediately started laughing and didn't realize she was being serious.
46:19
This is what you get stop doing white people. So I mean that's
46:24
the story. You know, the woman's wife, she shrom whales and she's
46:29
at avarice. I mean, I like, here's yeah, what's the saying,
46:34
play white people games, get white people prizes? Right? You know,
46:42
you know she went and you know she thought she was gonna boop the
46:44
snoop snoop of the Yeah, yeah, that's that's not something you're supposed to
46:51
do, Like like ten feet away the ship is going like, I wouldn't
46:53
I wouldn't do that. No, ten feet away, there's a bunch of
46:58
ships going to watch this bitch. She has a tracker, will find the
47:08
body. Her pockets are filled. Poo one let the shirt, and the
47:22
yak turns to her as it walks away and says, and don't come back.
47:28
I was waiting for somebody to do the reference. Yakie the yak don't
47:31
come back another great tray. Tray is so ashamed. He's like, oh
47:37
no, I'd rather back my own ship my hand. That'll turn some shirt
47:47
aheads, right, That's what they just look at like he's going to make
47:53
it to the dog. We're not. We don't have to worry abou that
48:00
guy. He's gonna make it. He's crazy. That's the guy that carries
48:08
the surface up the mountain. All right. That there is episode eighty nine
48:15
of the Treehouse. Thanks for hanging out with us. We'll see you next
48:19
time right here inside the Treehouse, because this is where you want to be
48:24
for all the good stupid