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Transcript

610. How to Make Habit Building Work for You · Be It Till You See It

0:00
[SPEAKER_01]: My business character, I named her Amy Blakely.
0:02
[SPEAKER_01]: It's after Sarah Blakely.
0:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I pretended I tried to show up as her because I'm not as outgoing and as creative and fun and bubbly as Sarah, but when I create that character, my current self doesn't see it as a threat if I just say I'm just playing this role.
0:17
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm coming on the podcast, playing a role that helps me show up as my best self.
0:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I think a lot of us like forget that we have to, you know, we gotta do it enough to become it.
0:29
[SPEAKER_03]: Welcome to the Beat till you see it podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring.
0:37
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm also Logan, Ply's instructor, and fit this business coach.
0:40
[SPEAKER_03]: I've trained thousands of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt.
0:48
[SPEAKER_03]: My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear.
0:55
[SPEAKER_03]: Each week my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it.
1:05
[SPEAKER_03]: It's a practice, not a perfect, let's get started.
1:13
[SPEAKER_03]: Be it babe, holy moly, this episode is one for the books.
1:18
[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, her first one with one for the books.
1:20
[SPEAKER_03]: She's fabulous, she's amazing.
1:21
[SPEAKER_03]: We cover a lot of topics you can insert.
1:24
[SPEAKER_03]: Whatever it is that you wanna be until you see in for what we're talking about and these ideas.
1:30
[SPEAKER_03]: Basically, I wanted to have Amy Lidine back and she is back and like top notch better than ever.
1:36
[SPEAKER_03]: And the reason is is because we are going to
1:40
[SPEAKER_03]: and Amy is the queen of how she gets people to create habits that are not torturous and also that allow them to really become the person they want to be.
1:50
[SPEAKER_03]: And I mean, every different example is that be it till you see it.
1:53
[SPEAKER_03]: So this week, it'll be Amy Lidine plus a recap.
1:56
[SPEAKER_03]: And then next week, I'll kick off a series on how
1:59
[SPEAKER_03]: I help people with habits.
2:00
[SPEAKER_03]: There are two different ways, but you then can choose the adventure that works for you and I'm really excited about it.
2:07
[SPEAKER_03]: I believe in what we discussed in this episode so much and I can't wait to hear what's coming.
2:12
[SPEAKER_03]: And then I want you to let us know, like how are you doing?
2:15
[SPEAKER_03]: Are you able to make the habits and help you be a to you see it?
2:18
[SPEAKER_03]: So get ready, buckle up.
2:19
[SPEAKER_03]: We have a few weeks to talk about this topic and first, it's someone
2:23
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay, be a babe.
2:24
[SPEAKER_03]: Holy freaking moly.
2:26
[SPEAKER_03]: I can't even believe it.
2:27
[SPEAKER_03]: I am so freaking excited to see the woman who's on my screen right now.
2:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I am saw it on my day.
2:32
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, this is like, is it two o'clock?
2:34
[SPEAKER_03]: Is it two o'clock yet?
2:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Amy Lidine is back.
2:36
[SPEAKER_03]: Episode five.
2:39
[SPEAKER_03]: Give me wow.
2:39
[SPEAKER_03]: And I don't know what number this is, but it's over 600.
2:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow, that's crazy.
2:46
[SPEAKER_03]: I know.
2:47
[SPEAKER_03]: I know.
2:47
[SPEAKER_03]: I have to tell you this, Amy.
2:49
[SPEAKER_03]: My mom heard your episode, when it came out, she literally still only talks about that one.
2:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Out of all the pockets, she's like that woman with the cards, that woman, and then you had like the boss, the boss bitch, and like something else.
3:05
[SPEAKER_03]: And she's still in her bed.
3:07
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh yeah, she quote to, to this day, it's been four years.
3:13
[SPEAKER_01]: of it.
3:14
[SPEAKER_03]: So aiming case people are new to us, which is probably a lot of people.
3:18
[SPEAKER_03]: Can you remind them who you are and what you rock at?
3:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, okay.
3:22
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm Amy Lidine as you know, and I am a fat loss and mindset coach is what I would say that's my forte, but I'm a podcaster.
3:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm a mom of five kids, you know, I'm a wife home school mom, you know, all the things, you know, I'm someone that has overcome, you know, I've lost 90 pounds.
3:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I am a stage for non small cell lung cancer.
3:47
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, fighter.
3:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I am now right now.
3:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been in remission.
3:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I wouldn't call real remission.
3:51
[SPEAKER_01]: But no evidence of active disease three times.
3:55
[SPEAKER_01]: And this fourth time that it's come back.
3:56
[SPEAKER_01]: It's spread to my brain.
3:58
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm on all new medications.
4:00
[SPEAKER_01]: So I would say that's the biggest update since the last time I've been on here.
4:04
[SPEAKER_01]: But I am, you know, I am a Perry menopause menopause, you know, menopause coach.
4:09
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's because my audience is growing up with me.
4:12
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm 47.
4:12
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm in the thick of it as well.
4:15
[SPEAKER_01]: So I say that's who I am.
4:16
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh my gosh, Amy.
4:19
[SPEAKER_03]: I had no idea had gone into the brain.
4:21
[SPEAKER_03]: That is because Brad and I were like, I wonder how she's doing.
4:23
[SPEAKER_03]: I wonder she's back in remission.
4:25
[SPEAKER_03]: That has to be hard.
4:26
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, is it hard?
4:27
[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, or maybe you're just going to feel like, maybe it's annoying to feel sorry for yourself.
4:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I just want to like, do you mind if we chat a little bit?
4:34
[SPEAKER_01]: No, and you know what?
4:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that you're just like,
4:36
[SPEAKER_01]: you ask it because people don't.
4:38
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's been almost a year since I found out that it's bread and it was a shock.
4:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I was really shocked.
4:44
[SPEAKER_01]: In fact, I was coming back to my podcast that I'd already recorded several episodes.
4:49
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I got that news and I just, it really did knock me.
4:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I really got this like just attitude of just, I was really angry.
4:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I'm like, I don't get it.
4:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Like what am I doing wrong, which is just the wrong attitude?
5:02
[SPEAKER_01]: But that took me a few months to kind of feel sorry for myself and then it was like going back to all the things that you know I needed to do to you know all the things that I always did before you know my keep in my promises and having a routine and building these habits and really living in a future.
5:20
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like living as if I am already there and, you know, that helped me kind of come back, but I will say, you know, it's really only been a couple months of me really feeling like myself again, because I've just been battling a lot of that.
5:36
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, loops of just, you know, panic and fear and am I going to be lucky this time and, you know, all of that.
5:42
[SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, it's me then I've really had to honestly just get into a high gear.
5:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is what I'm always good at is when, you know, shit hits the fan, I am someone that does the opposite of what most do and that is.
5:56
[SPEAKER_01]: They, they just crumble.
5:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I said, I had three, I say three months of like feeling so hard for myself.
6:01
[SPEAKER_01]: I was still operating at what would probably be someone else's like 85%.
6:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I think where my mom came in was when I don't believe in myself.
6:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, or if I'm having that fear, I can't do say podcasting because there was one of the areas that I have to be a super authentic.
6:16
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's the first thing that actually goes off the books and it's actually the thing that I used to love the most because it was like my therapy.
6:23
[SPEAKER_01]: So I almost have to be in full alignment for me to come back.
6:26
[SPEAKER_01]: So like right now I'm getting ready to relaunch and I'm actually excited for the first time because I'm like, okay, I'm living it.
6:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I can share because you know, you know this yourself.
6:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it's an energy transfer that you're doing right now with other people.
6:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it is all about having the right energy to really get into that person.
6:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And so that's kind of where it has been hard.
6:51
[SPEAKER_01]: What makes me feel the best is showing up at a very super high level levels that people would say, why are you even trying this?
6:59
[SPEAKER_01]: And that is just because I am proving that you can do so much.
7:02
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I love what you said, like, you know, living us if I'm there because that's the whole be it till you see it motto, right?
7:07
[SPEAKER_03]: Like it's just like, we're just getting there and I just think like,
7:12
[SPEAKER_03]: It's, I, I feel you in that like when something doesn't go my way, like I am also very good at hitting the fifth gear, like when COVID happened, we were in the air coming back from Cambodia and I was like, okay, hold on what don't they have, they need this.
7:25
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, I can do that.
7:25
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay, there's that right, and that's how we bought this house recently.
7:29
[SPEAKER_03]: We had a situation and we got the worst news in the entire world.
7:33
[SPEAKER_03]: And the first thing for me to shut down is like, I have to, we talked about this, I record, have to add value.
7:38
[SPEAKER_03]: I have to be on integrity, I have to have integrity in my work.
7:41
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, that is such a value of mine.
7:43
[SPEAKER_03]: So we're going to, even though we weren't allowed, what happened is we're turning around the border.
7:47
[SPEAKER_03]: with the right paperwork and the right permit and they still wouldn't let us in.
7:50
[SPEAKER_03]: I was like, we're still going to do the event.
7:51
[SPEAKER_03]: We're still going to operate integrity.
7:52
[SPEAKER_03]: They're still going to do everything that they wanted.
7:54
[SPEAKER_03]: They just won't get to hug me in 3D, but I'm still going to do it.
7:57
[SPEAKER_03]: But the thing that had to go away is I couldn't show up on Instagram because I like all I wanted to do was like cry.
8:05
[SPEAKER_03]: and go like this fucking sucks, but I'm not that person that not the person who does that this fucking sucks, I'm the person who's like, okay, this is what I went through, and this is what I did, and this is what I'm doing, right?
8:16
[SPEAKER_03]: So not that like my situations at all brain cancer, I want to make sure the listeners here, I heard that.
8:20
[SPEAKER_03]: I can hear that, but like I can understand like having to let go of something you love or that you enjoy doing, or that as an outlet for people to get to know you and tell you you're in a place where you can go, okay.
8:32
[SPEAKER_03]: How am I going to operate in this way?
8:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, and no one wants it.
8:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I'm not saying it needs to be like this toxic positivity, but no.
8:40
[SPEAKER_01]: The day and a day out of someone just like being boohoo is also not a place that's really going to serve anyone, especially myself.
8:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm really not a big believer in sitting in it.
8:49
[SPEAKER_01]: So even when I'm in pain, my family knows, I'm rarely going to tell you that I'm hurting or that I'm tired.
8:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Just no, that's pretty much always for me.
9:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, your body goes to the direction that you speak to it.
9:05
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I just don't do that.
9:08
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'll kick on the makeup and I will do my hair and those things because I see my reflection all day long.
9:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I really believe that's a big superpower that people don't realize.
9:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Like,
9:17
[SPEAKER_01]: you want to see a reflection of what you want to be feeling like.
9:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't feel that great, but when I see that other reflection of like, oh, okay, yeah, versus man, if I didn't do anything, I think it just makes me start to go more downhill and I mean, everybody's different, but I'm a really big believer if you let a show up as the person you want to be.
9:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
9:36
[SPEAKER_03]: I love that.
9:37
[SPEAKER_03]: And it's true like I not only do I it's not about talk to the positivity.
9:41
[SPEAKER_03]: We had a really great episode about like happiness.
9:43
[SPEAKER_03]: And I was I interviewed her like when there was a fires in California and I said, you know, like there's a bunch of people who like why their houses are burning down.
9:49
[SPEAKER_03]: They're like, this is going to mean something.
9:51
[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm like, that's not feeling your feelings.
9:53
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, yes, I do believe that everything does happen for reason.
9:57
[SPEAKER_03]: I do believe that like when doors close.
9:58
[SPEAKER_03]: It's because another door is going to open like, of course,
10:01
[SPEAKER_03]: But in the moment, you were allowed to feel like a freaking time.
10:04
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, like, feel your feeling.
10:06
[SPEAKER_01]: No one needs to tell me as I'm getting the news, Amy.
10:09
[SPEAKER_01]: This is because you know what, you can handle it.
10:12
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what, I'm about ready to like, I'm, you know, that was the biggest thing that I really got tired of people.
10:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, oh my gosh, there's so strong.
10:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm actually tired of being strong.
10:22
[SPEAKER_03]: I do know what you mean, I think I just say you're so resilient I don't check on you.
10:27
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, I'm so tired of being resilient, I'm over it.
10:30
[SPEAKER_03]: What I also cannot handle is like why I can't be the person who's like going to tell you what I'm going through in the process.
10:35
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't want the apologies.
10:37
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't want the I'm sorry for you.
10:39
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't want any of that stuff because now I have to respond to that because now I have to say thank you.
10:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I, I didn't even actually, and, you know, trust me, I'm going through therapy for this exact thing.
10:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I actually didn't tell my family for a few months.
10:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to get like several treatments.
10:55
[SPEAKER_01]: And my, not my, not my immediate family.
10:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, makes, like my parents and stuff.
11:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I didn't want to go through that cycle right there.
11:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to already have an answer for like this is the diagnosis.
11:08
[SPEAKER_01]: This is what we're doing.
11:09
[SPEAKER_01]: I've already been doing it.
11:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And I've even had XYZ.
11:12
[SPEAKER_01]: because I didn't, you know, you'll not see anything online about it, you know, in our own private, you know, with a paid group of women, 550 women that obviously I did because I've lost a lot between one of our training blocks and I knew they'd see it in the filming.
11:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I film every round, you know, videos.
11:29
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I was open with them, but otherwise, I'm not that way because I don't like the, I don't like to go through the phase of like, let me give you, you know, I'm a, I don't need that.
11:39
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, well, also like it's, you know, you've to feel the feelings you can grieve the things that like were what you were expecting.
11:46
[SPEAKER_03]: And then it's true.
11:47
[SPEAKER_03]: We have to go, so what can I do?
11:48
[SPEAKER_03]: Like what are the actions that I can take?
11:50
[SPEAKER_03]: Like what is going to what if I'm in pain all day?
11:53
[SPEAKER_03]: Like what can I do to make myself feel good?
11:54
[SPEAKER_03]: And like I agree, like on my days are better when I like get up and get dressed for the day and put things on and like, okay, whoa, you know what we nailed that.
12:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I mean movement like I've had some really rough times over this last year where I've had to learn that if you get no mobility at all it actually just increases that the aches
12:19
[SPEAKER_01]: the pains you know I had I think it was like three days that I actually did not leave the house and finally like day three of my goals just to get to the end of our driveway and I just started to think like I mean even if it's small that is so much better than in getting sunlight and you know all the things that just really honestly I think help our body we're kind of like a plant that you need to like get out and like get in some soil and you know so that's something
12:50
[SPEAKER_03]: I know like a body emotionally stays emotion right.
12:52
[SPEAKER_03]: Like it's easier for me.
12:53
[SPEAKER_03]: I came home from my tour and my girlfriend saw me like that next morning at the gyms like, wow, you're so good at being consistent.
13:00
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, first of all, I do have a trainer that will not renew with me if I don't check this off on the app the second I paid for it.
13:08
[SPEAKER_03]: So we're going to do it third.
13:10
[SPEAKER_03]: If I use the excuse, oh, I just got home, or I have a trip, I will never have a consistent workout and then I'm always having to start again.
13:21
[SPEAKER_03]: And then that is just like never going to feel good.
13:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And I say that to clients that I'm like, think about the person that's traveling all the time.
13:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you're taking five days to land back into your life from a trip and then like five more days to get like recalibrated and like, that's just, you know, wasted time.
13:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
13:39
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah.
13:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And I mean, you know this yourself.
13:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Like having habits, having routine, having structure is
13:47
[SPEAKER_01]: just one more thing that I think helps like even your body feel it peace at least for me like that's the last thing I need to be worrying about is that so it just feels good to get right back into like I need to make sure I'm getting my walks in.
13:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I need to make sure I'm getting like my sleep routine you know like that's a skill in itself right just yes.
14:03
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, that is, I mean, like, everyone's like, how's it going to be back?
14:07
[SPEAKER_03]: You must be tired.
14:07
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, oh, no, well rested, very behind on emails, because my sleep is going to come up for my emails, but thank you.
14:13
[SPEAKER_03]: So like, I'm well rested.
14:15
[SPEAKER_03]: All of my, all of my plies, all of my weight training all happened, uh, not the emails.
14:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know, you guys are fine.
14:23
[SPEAKER_03]: Let me see with the self here.
14:24
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, so okay.
14:25
[SPEAKER_03]: So you brought it up.
14:27
[SPEAKER_03]: So kicking off a habits block because I hate the new year, new year, new you stuff.
14:31
[SPEAKER_03]: It's not my favorite thing.
14:33
[SPEAKER_03]: I know you like I've heard you talk about like upgrades.
14:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Like I think that each year is a time for us to reflect and like we can think about the change when I'm bringing to the new year, but like you're still you going into the new year with more experiences.
14:44
[SPEAKER_03]: And and and also
14:46
[SPEAKER_03]: smarter because you've hopefully reflected on those and you've thought about these and you've experienced them.
14:50
[SPEAKER_03]: So I wanted to help people like understand how they can be it till they see it with their habits.
14:56
[SPEAKER_03]: And of course you come to mind because people loved episode five.
15:00
[SPEAKER_03]: It's probably one of the most cited episodes we've had.
15:03
[SPEAKER_03]: It's come up many times people still talk about it.
15:05
[SPEAKER_03]: But what are some of the tools that you used to have habits because
15:12
[SPEAKER_01]: even with you've got five kids you've got a business you homeschool like you have to have that probably nothing gets done and we can actually do it as a family so I'm a big believer you know habits are not sexy because they need to be forever so I'm a big believer that you've got to make your habits fun and you've got to get creative around gamifying things that help you like level up so
15:33
[SPEAKER_01]: you have your daily habits that you want to eventually just become forever things like for me it's like a daily walk you know three liters of water like things that I just want to be background noise but for a season I mean I may need to put them like right front and center and so we started creating something that we call five for fifty and it's
15:52
[SPEAKER_01]: five habits for 50 days and the reason we do this is you pick five habits but the key is it's five that you need to do for the full 50 days and four of them you have to intend to keep long-term like don't start something for 49 days or 50 days that you don't really think maybe you know it might be a smaller version of that but it's daily things and so we do it as a family you know sometimes twice a year typically like when mom's going through something
16:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's do five for 50 as a family because I always know then we push ourselves like we just, I mean, I just feel better about myself.
16:28
[SPEAKER_03]: And so it also sounds like it's just a focus on
16:31
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it is and it's fun to see what the kids do like we so we did for that you wanted to do indefinitely and the fifth one was some personal growth area where you want to dabble in it to see if it's like something you like so like one month my son my 26 year old he did that he had to draw for 30 minutes every day for you know 50 days you know my other daughter did guitar.
16:52
[SPEAKER_01]: And it also taught them that like, wow, when you do, you know, the compounding effect of this habit over time.
16:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I like, you know, what I like about a timeline on something again is that habits aren't sexy.
17:05
[SPEAKER_01]: They get boring for people.
17:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And so when you gamify or when you do something where like, okay, I have a block.
17:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I have a start and a finish.
17:12
[SPEAKER_01]: What you're hoping at the finishes to drop those off of like your
17:17
[SPEAKER_01]: right in front of you, writing down, and they just have become part of your identity.
17:21
[SPEAKER_01]: They've just, they, you're now just pulled to do those things because they've just become automatic.
17:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, I test myself once I take them off.
17:29
[SPEAKER_01]: If I see if they're not, I might reintroduce that, like, on, say, like, my DAC cards that I talked about on episode five, where,
17:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been right them in a structure of like these are the things that I'm keeping promises to during the day.
17:42
[SPEAKER_01]: But the fight for hit 50 is really it's a habit one, right?
17:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I tell my kids I'm like, these are things that you know, maybe you're even doing them.
17:49
[SPEAKER_01]: But now you want to do them with like perfection because you know how you do anything is how you do everything like I tell people I anchor my morning with my bed making and it's funny because when I make my bed, I literally take everything off.
18:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it's like, is it seriously that you know, necessary to do them like yes?
18:06
[SPEAKER_01]: It is a metaphor for how I want my day to go and how I want to treat myself and that I don't cut corners.
18:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I treat it like it's a hotel bed where I want the sheet to show or could I pull like we hardly move some nights where I literally can probably pull it back.
18:22
[SPEAKER_01]: But
18:22
[SPEAKER_01]: There's probably some little seams down in the bottom and I do find this, I find that it takes, I've said a timer once.
18:28
[SPEAKER_01]: It only takes me like three minutes and like 32 seconds and I'm like, the whole time I say mantras to myself, but I say this is a metaphor for how I want to show up.
18:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So I tell my kids.
18:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe they're habits you're already doing, maybe you're brushing your teeth morning and night, but maybe it's going to be morning and night for the full two minutes, you know, with intention or whatever it may be right and what the kids see is these little things that become measurable really build your confidence, they start to think outside of what those aren't they're like,
18:59
[SPEAKER_01]: big fingers.
19:00
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I find that my kids start coming up with ideas of like businesses.
19:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's just because they're believing in themselves.
19:06
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, my daughter.
19:08
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, I'm going to sign up for soccer.
19:09
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, oh, really?
19:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Because she's like going into high school.
19:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And she's never played.
19:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And this was Le Lani this last year.
19:14
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, she's going to high school.
19:17
[SPEAKER_01]: She's great.
19:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my God.
19:19
[SPEAKER_03]: I can't Amy, because I thought I have an aged a bit.
19:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so she and she decided that you know out of the blue that she wanted to start that and I knew a lot of it had to do with doing these types of personal development things where when you can start measuring these habits like it's inevitable you're going to feel better about yourself I mean anything from like atomic habits that I learned was when you start to even if it's to push up today it's measuring that and seeing that compound effect over time and it's not about the pushups like tell people it's that it's what it represents that you know what you say you're going to do.
19:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and that you do it to the fullest.
19:56
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not like half ass.
19:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Like that's why when I say what you've right You respect it like when you say you're gonna make your bed every morning to just like row it because That's really how you're gonna show up in all these other areas.
20:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you gonna be the person that cuts the corner or are you the person that it's like When I say I'm doing until 530.
20:12
[SPEAKER_01]: It's until 530.
20:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's not 528
20:16
[SPEAKER_03]: I actually really like the idea of like one of them can be one you just like are testing out because I do think that when people are creating like habits that they want in their perfectionist tendencies it's like it's got to be all or nothing and they're not giving themselves as permissions almost like let me see like for right now so I interviewed a girl who talked about taro.
20:37
[SPEAKER_03]: And I said, I've always wanted to know it, Tara, because I was like, I've never allowed to play with Tara, and she's like, she's like, she's like, yeah, Tara actually was in the church.
20:46
[SPEAKER_03]: It was a way for you to self-reflect.
20:48
[SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, oh, well, tell me more.
20:50
[SPEAKER_03]: She's like, yeah, no, it was way to self-reflect.
20:52
[SPEAKER_03]: And you can actually use it as a tool to kind of figure out what's going on in your heart in your mind and I was like, oh, what a cool way for me to journal.
20:59
[SPEAKER_03]: And I have ever since her hearing from like interviewing her, I'm like, maybe I was so I was like, I want to learn this.
21:05
[SPEAKER_03]: But then when you go to learn something new, it's like, it's hard.
21:07
[SPEAKER_03]: It's hard to take in the new stuff and you got the other stuff.
21:10
[SPEAKER_03]: And so I've like tried different books.
21:11
[SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, okay, here's what I'm going to do.
21:13
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to take this app.
21:14
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to do it for 30 days, but now I'm going to just put as my five for 50.
21:18
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to see if after 50 days, do I still want to learn this?
21:22
[SPEAKER_03]: Because it's also okay for me to say, you know, that was interesting and I didn't do what I wanted to do.
21:27
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's okay.
21:28
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, we can let things go, but we gave it a full effort.
21:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And telling your brain you can stop at it 50 some of these long term habits that like let's say meditation like let's say you've wanted to dabble in it, but you're like The idea of knowing is something you really should implement forever kind of just seems like daunting I'll be honest like I'm like a crap so I'm not going to do forever.
21:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's just wait to do that.
21:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but if you tell me, hey, just dabble in it for 50 days, see how you feel now be 100% for those 50 days because that's the key like it is crazy what happens when you go all in on anything even if it's five minutes if you're like, okay, I'm going to just for five minutes that I do this like our kids because we let them choose the duration and we did allow them within the first week of once we started it.
22:11
[SPEAKER_01]: You could change like like my one son, he was like 30 minutes of drawing every day was just too much.
22:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I realized within the first few days that like sitting there with something that I'm not even like familiar with yet.
22:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Because he's like 20, 26 trying to get into it.
22:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
22:24
[SPEAKER_01]: So he and me within the first week, we let them redefine the agreement.
22:28
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't want to wait too long because sometimes that's just your voice of compromise.
22:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Go.
22:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, so that's why it's like a seven day window we say, okay, you've got seven days to come back to the drawing board and I think he shortened his by 15 to 15 because he's like realistically I'm going to hate it if I tell myself this where's like my other kid was like I'm going to bump mine to 20 minutes because 10 is not long enough or you know, but it was really good for them to see what they were doing, but the compounding effect like
22:54
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we had one kid that decided to do like the tennis bound like every day just practice the hand-eye coordination Yeah, which honestly made me realize gosh, I need to do this because my hand-eye is not that great He did this for 50 days You become like a Michael Jordan like he did
23:09
[SPEAKER_01]: the compounding effect that people do not realize like all you've got to do is do something consecutively and like over and over to get good.
23:18
[SPEAKER_01]: But knowing there's an end in sight, like it helped me get back into journaling because I was like, okay, I just got to do it for 50 days and see if this really is like worth doing the rehearsal scripts.
23:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And at the 50 days, I was like, holy crap, like it's actually making me feel better.
23:31
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, but I wouldn't have given it a shot because I'm like, I don't want to add another thing into my life.
23:36
[SPEAKER_03]: I love that you said that because I think you and I, one of the things that like we came fast friends, like we are committers, we say we say we say we're gonna do it, we show up for it, we have a lot of habits that we're really good at.
23:48
[SPEAKER_03]: So because we're humans, we like go up, but I, it's also like for me I'm like all done before I say I'm gonna do that, like where's that gonna end in my day?
23:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Because I don't want to be like, I didn't do that today because I hate that feeling, like that is my worst feeling.
24:02
[SPEAKER_03]: So I, too, am like, okay, hold on, but it's like, oh, for 50 days, well, then I can really see if I like it.
24:08
[SPEAKER_03]: And I can also see if I got good at it.
24:11
[SPEAKER_03]: I could also see like, you know, it didn't really change anything.
24:13
[SPEAKER_03]: So I could let it go.
24:14
[SPEAKER_01]: And writing it in a scripting way, like, I find like, even with my IDACs, one area that I've changed with myself is the way you just say things to your brain really matters.
24:25
[SPEAKER_01]: And it really needs to be identity shifting.
24:32
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, practice the good tar for 30 minutes every day for 50 days because I want to show myself that committing to something that typically I resist because it's hard and there's a learning her like go on with the details to yourself.
24:48
[SPEAKER_01]: So that sticks more because every day like growth is hard like I.
24:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I hate to break it to people.
24:54
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the only place, I mean, like hardness is where you actually grow.
24:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And I mean, it freaking sucks.
24:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Like when this came back and people were like, oh, you'll grow.
25:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like,
25:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to, but I actually can appreciate after the fact that I'm like, there's another layer to me that I'm obviously like uncovering through this.
25:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be told that right in the moment.
25:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think anyone should.
25:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that, you know, just, and I really hate when people apologize and go, oh, but you have cancer.
25:20
[SPEAKER_01]: It is all relative to you.
25:22
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like trauma to your body.
25:23
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't matter if it's like you tripped over a pebble or you got shot by a gun.
25:28
[SPEAKER_01]: It's how your body reacted to that.
25:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And now it sees it.
25:32
[SPEAKER_01]: So I never want to discount that because I feel like my clients have just as big, they feel like just as big of problems in those moments, especially to their bodies as it does to me.
25:44
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's really like trying to be aware of that and seeing your habits like, why are you making this a habit?
25:50
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, what's the reason behind this?
25:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I used to be one of those that like make, especially when I, you know, probably around when I first met you, it was like making the list and doing the charts.
25:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I have like seven different journals I was using and trying to, you know, the color code and, and it just was too much pause.
26:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And though, I mean, why am I doing this?
26:10
[SPEAKER_01]: What is the long-term gain of this habit right here?
26:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And really try to tie it to the identity that you're chasing.
26:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Like is it gonna help your health character and you becoming like your best self?
26:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Is it, you know, is this just like an ego booster that you're gonna post on Instagram that you're doing cold plunges?
26:28
[SPEAKER_01]: But what's the real reason behind it?
26:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I find it.
26:31
[SPEAKER_01]: We are so, you know, geared to be like now we're doing colostrum.
26:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Next we're doing greens and my habits to do 30 days of growing up Amy.
26:39
[SPEAKER_03]: Thank you so much.
26:40
[SPEAKER_03]: Everyone is like on this colostrum kick and I like obviously it's not human colostrum.
26:44
[SPEAKER_03]: But like my sensitivity to heart came back and she's like human colostrum and I was like
26:51
[SPEAKER_03]: that's so fascinating.
26:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
26:52
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I'm not having that, but I'm also like, I'm also like not going to like now I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, like, all, there's this, everyone is like, and now we're on this now and it's full funny because we have been on the on Instagram for work.
27:04
[SPEAKER_03]: And we see our friends and it's like, I do have a cold punch.
27:07
[SPEAKER_03]: I love my cold punch.
27:08
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm not going for 15 minutes.
27:10
[SPEAKER_03]: Again, they're in the first thing in the morning.
27:12
[SPEAKER_03]: it wakes me up.
27:13
[SPEAKER_03]: That is why I do it.
27:14
[SPEAKER_03]: So for habits, why I'm like, I get it because I have the hardest time remembering what date is and why am I up in the morning?
27:21
[SPEAKER_03]: And I love the morning.
27:22
[SPEAKER_03]: So I get in and I read three books.
27:25
[SPEAKER_03]: They're each daily message books because I wanted to read them.
27:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I read Gay Hendrix's your big leap here.
27:31
[SPEAKER_03]: So every one page of that, I read
27:32
[SPEAKER_03]: I think it's Melody Beaties, like a journey to the heart and I read someone else's and it's like I read and there are often different messages but I whatever one I that sticks with me then I think about that as I go on my morning walk and that's how I do it and I found that I was taking me a long time to get out on the morning walk so I have a call punch for that but I find to your point of the why, why are you doing this because it's the end thing to do, it's what they're saying the next period and a pause will woman should be doing or shouldn't be doing because I people like you should be called plunge and like
28:04
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a crazy world, I mean, I'm even in the industry and I even say, wow, I feel for females these days because you know what, you get really bamboosled, I mean people even like they're doing a real even show over here like a medical journal study that they'll pop up and go and according to this, you should well, now if you're smart like me and you want to be, you know, funny, you go check what that is.
28:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it will be like a research study on like 85 year olds and I'm like,
28:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, context, please, but because they're like a white code doctor and they're coming, you know, like, and they have a hundred thousand followers and trust me, I am guilty of it, too.
28:43
[SPEAKER_01]: When I was looking for back help, I'm not a chiropractor.
28:46
[SPEAKER_01]: So like, I'm at the mercy of what I find.
28:49
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just like a person coming to the fat loss space, right?
28:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
28:52
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm looking at like, oh, they have a million followers.
28:55
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you see this in the pilati space, like it's
28:58
[SPEAKER_01]: really, really scary.
28:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we're going to get back going full circle.
29:02
[SPEAKER_01]: It'll start to be referral.
29:03
[SPEAKER_01]: People are only in a trust who has because now everyone's been through something and they've all had an experience.
29:09
[SPEAKER_01]: So now they're like, tell me who you've got.
29:11
[SPEAKER_03]: I actually agree with you because of all the AI stuff.
29:14
[SPEAKER_03]: Like now I'm like, I actually go to bread going, is this real?
29:17
[SPEAKER_03]: Do you think this is real before?
29:18
[SPEAKER_03]: Like I share it because like it's so easy and now there's so much marketing that's using chatbot
29:26
[SPEAKER_03]: using the socials to find even though that's where they, it's been going that way to start finding things again people are going to stop because it's going to be referral because like you do you know real human who's acting like a real human and it but I agree I mean you're in the fat aspect I'm the place I have so many people going well this is polite and I'm like
29:43
[SPEAKER_03]: No, honey, it's not, but no, I'm not going to go around telling people what is and isn't because I'm not here to be in a fight with people.
29:49
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm here to help people.
29:51
[SPEAKER_03]: So I'm going to help with an imitation name.
29:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I don't have enough time in my day to come hate on what you're doing.
29:57
[SPEAKER_01]: You, if you think what you're doing is working for you do it.
30:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I support you and I think there's more than one way now.
30:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I think Pilates and I think even strengthening there are certain bio mechanical like youngs to it.
30:09
[SPEAKER_01]: But I am not going to be a person that's a coach that sits in just like trashes everybody else, you know, and does videos about them.
30:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think that that helps, you know, personally.
30:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I think and maybe it does, but the energy that I would be working in in that space would never make me be a creator in the way that I want to be.
30:28
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, oh, I just think it's you have yeah, and I think so I feel like I love the honesty and like it's so I mean like most of the people listening to our women is so easy to be bamboozle, but it's what I love about you and your ideas here.
30:43
[SPEAKER_03]: It's like, what do you want?
30:44
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, what do you want?
30:46
[SPEAKER_03]: And then why do you want it because I actually don't think that your why has to be something stellar, but you do have to know why because I think like,
30:55
[SPEAKER_03]: do you want to run a marathon because you want to have it of running?
31:00
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, then we should probably don't have to have a run a marathon.
31:03
[SPEAKER_03]: We can change the habit or you're running to run because you have a friend that you want to keep up or is it because you want to like, what's the why?
31:11
[SPEAKER_03]: So that you can one test the habit in your 550 or two, maybe it's the wrong habit.
31:17
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, maybe that's not the thing that you should be doing when she figured out the why there might be an
31:23
[SPEAKER_01]: and make the habit something that long-term is going to give you the biggest bang for your buck.
31:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's not following a macro plan right away.
31:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's actually mill prepping.
31:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you know, I tell people, you have to earn the right to lose fat.
31:35
[SPEAKER_01]: So like my daughter Camille, this last year wanted to go on like her first diet.
31:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And she's 22.
31:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I said, before I'm even going to give you a meal plan that has macros on it, you need to prove to me that you're actually going to live the identity of the fit person fit people.
31:52
[SPEAKER_01]: They prep meals fit people have a fridge full of stuff.
31:55
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't come home and have like, I mean, that's just not how they live.
31:58
[SPEAKER_01]: They fuel themselves, right?
31:59
[SPEAKER_01]: So I said, what I want you to do is just set some meal times, improve over the next few weeks that you're going to pack meals.
32:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even care if it's, I don't care what it is that you're packing.
32:07
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the habit of the identity of that person and then I broke down the macros and it's great because she doesn't associate like being a fit person because she's lost 20 pounds because she just dialed in and titrated those meals, but it was all about the identity of that person and how now she's like, I don't associate it.
32:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, Camille, you started eating more and now you're like 20 pounds lighter because she was like packing her meals and being on a set, you know routine with and fueling herself, right?
32:42
[SPEAKER_01]: And so plus it taught her to this was it's not about your macro breakdown honey because she even lost weight even just packing the meals in like living that way.
33:00
[SPEAKER_01]: So fine, those five, like in those habits, maybe it's something that's going to get you the bigger, you know, the lower hanging fruit and honestly to the brain meal prep sounds a lot easier than follow my macros 100% for 50 days.
33:13
[SPEAKER_01]: That can seem really daunting to the person that's like struggled.
33:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe they've had food issues or binge issues and all that.
33:20
[SPEAKER_03]: I think this is, I mean, I will always highlight.
33:22
[SPEAKER_03]: I love when like all my friends who are coaches in this space, most people are just not eating enough and they're not eating intentionally.
33:30
[SPEAKER_03]: And so like I just like want to highlight, yes, where you can often eat more and lose weight.
33:35
[SPEAKER_03]: If that's the journey you want to go on, most people start eating enough, we're not eating the right things, but I love, you brought up this a couple of times.
33:41
[SPEAKER_03]: So let's just break it down.
33:43
[SPEAKER_03]: identity like the identity of the of the person so it's like it's beyond the why it's like who you want to be and what do they do and then doing that now
33:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, it's totally around your bit.
33:55
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, you need to write, I mean, it's like, we make our clients create a health character.
34:01
[SPEAKER_01]: What does she look like?
34:02
[SPEAKER_01]: What is she wearing?
34:04
[SPEAKER_01]: What does your daily routine look like?
34:06
[SPEAKER_01]: What's your fridge look like?
34:07
[SPEAKER_01]: What's your closet look like?
34:08
[SPEAKER_01]: What size is she wearing?
34:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Not that those math are, but they do to your brain to start to really see and paint the picture.
34:15
[SPEAKER_01]: because they've done too many studies in all these areas, whether it be, I mean lottery winners, big huge studies on why do almost 95% of them go bankrupt after we're talking like tens of millions of dollars at the end.
34:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because you know what, their identity is still of a poor person.
34:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
34:31
[SPEAKER_01]: So fat loss, 95% of people that lose it actually regain.
34:35
[SPEAKER_01]: It's already hard enough to lose it, so you work so hard to get there.
34:39
[SPEAKER_01]: So I don't, it's why that's such a big part of the component for our clients is the last thing I want to do is see you in two years from now because you just got really good at disciplining yourself for a season.
34:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I want this to be who you are and you've got to commit to who that person is.
34:52
[SPEAKER_01]: And what does that look like for that person?
34:55
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I mean, yeah, so I think that's, it is totally be it.
34:58
[SPEAKER_03]: It's just like, it's like, I want to start a business.
35:01
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, well, what does that person do?
35:03
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay, the business is working.
35:05
[SPEAKER_03]: It's rolling.
35:05
[SPEAKER_03]: It's all the things you thought I would be like, wow, do they get up?
35:07
[SPEAKER_03]: What are they where?
35:08
[SPEAKER_03]: What is their schedule?
35:09
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, what is that happening?
35:10
[SPEAKER_03]: And then, because you start to do the things or thinking like that, it makes it so much easier to step up the next thing.
35:17
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, no, the macros thing.
35:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and look at it from a brain standpoint, your brain does not see it as a threat.
35:24
[SPEAKER_01]: It comes back to like, it's like the Sasha fierce with Beyonce.
35:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Like that was a character she created.
35:29
[SPEAKER_01]: My business character, I named her Amy Blakely.
35:32
[SPEAKER_01]: It's after Sarah Blakely.
35:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I pretended I tried to show up as her because I'm not as outgoing and as creative and fun and bubbly as Sarah, but when I create that character,
35:43
[SPEAKER_01]: My current self doesn't see it as a threat if I just say I'm just playing this role.
35:48
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm coming on the podcast playing a role that helps me show up as my best self.
35:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I think a lot of us like forget that we have to, you know, we got to do it enough to become it.
35:59
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, yes.
36:00
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, I think like so many people go, oh, this is like, I don't want to think it's I make it, you're not because like I have found, you know, like you have a bad, let's just say you have a bad night's sleep, but you have a presentation that day.
36:12
[SPEAKER_03]: You don't go and go, oh, guys, I'm so tired and give you a presentation.
36:15
[SPEAKER_03]: Nope, you step up to the person who could be the person who believes that does the presentation at nine times out of ten, you actually feel better when the presentations over because you are acting as if you're the person who is
36:29
[SPEAKER_03]: that is what's happening.
36:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, yeah.
36:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And epigenetic shows us like, you know, if you follow Nicole of the pair, I've got to give her credit.
36:36
[SPEAKER_01]: She's been doing these what they call future self-journaling where she believes that every day you should screw it out your day.
36:42
[SPEAKER_01]: We do a version of it in our community where I want them to even script out like their their day as a as their health character.
36:48
[SPEAKER_01]: And because of what we've seen in the brain is that the more that you wire
36:53
[SPEAKER_01]: that future of like it's sure.
36:56
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not who you are yet, but it's who you want to be.
36:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Your brain actually doesn't see the difference.
37:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And they're now seeing that the brain wires that way.
37:04
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you're in your 40s, 50s or older, I always say if you've struggled with fat loss and you were already at this age, you have a rewiring issue that you need to address.
37:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Because if 95, 91 percent of your thoughts every day are the same,
37:18
[SPEAKER_01]: statistic, what show me, you will continue to come back to this old person that you say you are and talk about and believe in.
37:24
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you're trying to become like a business owner and become like owning a Pilates studio or whatever it may be, you have to start scripting and the older you get.
37:33
[SPEAKER_03]: And I just say, so what do you just like script out like five a.m. six a.m. do you like go I am so and so doing that's like what does it look like?
37:39
[SPEAKER_01]: doing this.
37:40
[SPEAKER_01]: It's more of a behavior like you'll have an outline of like I, you know, as I wake up today, I effortlessly, you know, keep my small promises in the morning and you might at first detail them out because the whole point is to this doesn't change very often your script stays the same because you're trying to work on an area of your life.
37:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Like in therapy, it's like if you're an overreactor, if you're struggling with forgiveness, it's it's a daily thing because
38:04
[SPEAKER_01]: You're trying to show that you can change who you are and now Epigenetics is proving it, which is positive because here's the thing you may have been born into someone because now they're showing with Epigenetics like it's connected even in the womb.
38:22
[SPEAKER_01]: It was broke up my family, you know, I'd had an affair.
38:25
[SPEAKER_01]: So my pregnancy came in a place where I was a very unwanted pregnancy.
38:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And I talked probably very negatively to myself.
38:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, this next book that Nicole is coming out with talks all about how they're showing.
38:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And so those children can actually already be born anxious and have like attachment styles based on just the way that you have talked.
38:44
[SPEAKER_01]: So first I was like, man, what a depressing thing to hear.
38:47
[SPEAKER_01]: But her whole point is to teach us like, we're all broken humans.
38:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Like we've all come from some sort of crap.
38:52
[SPEAKER_01]: And so the power of this book was to teach us that our brain is actually the no plasticity and our ability to change.
38:59
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're an introvert, you can become an extrovert.
39:01
[SPEAKER_01]: If you say you're one way, you really can actually change and it doesn't take long.
39:08
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's 50.
39:09
[SPEAKER_01]: It's kind of similar to habits.
39:10
[SPEAKER_01]: It's about that 60 day mark.
39:12
[SPEAKER_01]: We've tested out with clients.
39:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I've done beta testing.
39:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And now we make it a part of our program or for 60 days, I have to do this journaling.
39:20
[SPEAKER_01]: because I'm so tired of women grunting their way to reaching their goals.
39:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I want it to pull you.
39:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I want your identity to pull you to become that.
39:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And a lot of them are starting to go, why is it suddenly feeling easier to meal prep stuff that I like, my lazy self is always fighting.
39:37
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, because you're scripting about a new person and your brain is just seeing that as the place I need to go.
39:42
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like,
39:43
[SPEAKER_01]: it doesn't even know the difference.
39:45
[SPEAKER_01]: It just thinks it needs to do it.
39:46
[SPEAKER_01]: So less resistance.
39:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
39:48
[SPEAKER_01]: So same thing with these habits.
39:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Try to find, you know, some connection to that identity the way you write it because you want to have less resistance.
39:56
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't want to be like, you know, otherwise you will try to use motivation to do it and it never is lasting.
40:02
[SPEAKER_03]: Motivation is this interesting thing that everyone thinks they need that I've on once I motivate it and it's like you just And we'll talk about this in the habit series.
40:10
[SPEAKER_03]: I've got coming out like motivation is one of the worst things you can it it will help with something really hard Like if you have to do something that's really difficult motivations very helpful to like like the starter and the car It only works to start the car right this is as far as my car metaphors going to go if that's all in about cars
40:27
[SPEAKER_03]: And then it's like all the others.
40:29
[SPEAKER_03]: It's the gasoline.
40:30
[SPEAKER_03]: It's you putting the gas hoping to put on the pedal all that stuff.
40:33
[SPEAKER_03]: So but people think it's got it's going to show up every day.
40:36
[SPEAKER_03]: I cannot wait to motivate it to do anything.
40:39
[SPEAKER_03]: I will get nothing done nothing would be none of the things I built would have have been built because of motivation.
40:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
40:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
40:45
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's kind of aligned with Willpower.
40:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I will say a book.
40:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if you've read it, but you would love it.
40:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And it'd be a great person to have on because I think he's a small author.
40:53
[SPEAKER_01]: It's called Willpower doesn't work.
40:54
[SPEAKER_01]: And it is a whole book on he's got studies in there charts that show essentially that it is all about your environment.
41:02
[SPEAKER_01]: like that is the key that most people it's it's everything whether it be friendships it be your actual physical environment that that is way better than because will powers finite and like you can't count on that it's why in the morning the cupcake is less tempting than say like at night so like instead of like having the will power of having that cup picker all day, why is it at night?
41:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I want it.
41:27
[SPEAKER_01]: You need to see that your environment is more powerful.
41:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, decision fatigue at the end of the night.
41:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't need to have things out that I'm already weak to or yeah.
41:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyways, you would just love it because it's just made me stop shaming myself for stuff that I'm like.
41:53
[SPEAKER_01]: because having a break from your environment and then coming back into it is the best time to shift into a new habit.
42:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Now for the next several days, don't even sit on the couch, like let your brain completely because it is all about connection and loops, you know, for most of us at this age.
42:09
[SPEAKER_03]: It's true, it's true.
42:11
[SPEAKER_03]: In the series that I'm doing, we talk about how to unravel a habit you don't like.
42:15
[SPEAKER_03]: And it's one of the things, and it all dig deeper in the episode, but it's like, how, what is the prompt that starts the sitting down on the couch?
42:23
[SPEAKER_03]: There is something that starts that, and if you don't know if that something is, you can get rid of your couch.
42:30
[SPEAKER_03]: And you're still gonna find something to sit on because there's a prompt,
42:33
[SPEAKER_01]: true.
42:33
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's because it's it started earlier.
42:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I have a client right now that we've realized her overwhelm with work makes her go to any like highly pal- it doesn't have to be chocolate chips for she's like it's the chocolate chips on my girl now tomorrow it'll be something different.
42:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but it's not about the pantry.
42:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like it starts earlier and that you start to see failure in your day and overwhelm and that loop is when I'm failing K. This is kind of like my coping mechanism
43:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's interesting.
43:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, man, I feel like we're therapy 101, but even in, you know, someone that wants to have a business, they're all parallel all of it.
43:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Because it's a personal development journey.
43:11
[SPEAKER_03]: Everything, whatever it is, like, and I let's why I like that identity, and you can see yourself in different things.
43:16
[SPEAKER_03]: It isn't anything that you want to do, and it works the same.
43:22
[SPEAKER_03]: You have to prepare the environment.
43:24
[SPEAKER_03]: You have to know why you want to do it.
43:26
[SPEAKER_03]: And then you have to tell you if to believe that you can.
43:28
[SPEAKER_03]: And I think like, because you cannot shame yourself into something you want.
43:32
[SPEAKER_03]: It will not work.
43:33
[SPEAKER_03]: And you talk about the clients to write themselves to getting there.
43:37
[SPEAKER_03]: And then they're just me back into yours
43:39
[SPEAKER_03]: change and they didn't become who they wanted to be on that journey yeah yeah my gosh okay i mean i obviously i could talk to you forever about this because like this is just something like to nerd about but i just love that we think the same way on this because it's really it's really easy i think for people to like want to start 17 new things at the same time
43:57
[SPEAKER_03]: or like they, you know, like it's a, I have to do it for an hour and it's like, hold on, like, let's, you know, we got to adjust the timeline of what it is.
44:06
[SPEAKER_03]: And I really think, you know, making sure you know why you want to do it.
44:09
[SPEAKER_03]: The script thing is a really cool thing to add to it.
44:11
[SPEAKER_03]: I have to say, like, I kind of like the idea of like writing yourself a script for the day and how it's going to go.
44:16
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that's it.
44:17
[SPEAKER_03]: Be it till you see it.
44:18
[SPEAKER_03]: And also like a manifestation and a drawing in.
44:21
[SPEAKER_03]: I think that's really beautiful to me.
44:23
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, we're going to take a quick break and we're going to find out where people can find you follow you work with you and then we're going to do your beat action items.
44:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
44:30
[SPEAKER_03]: All right, Amy, where do you hang out, where can they stock you in the best way?
44:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
44:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I am, I'm on Instagram, you know, under Amy, underscore, Lidine.
44:39
[SPEAKER_01]: If you were like still a Facebook person though, I will say that is like where our business really lands.
44:44
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's under lean bodies consulting.
44:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I post daily there.
44:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And then, you know, by the time this episode's out, my podcast, you know, which is called
44:53
[SPEAKER_03]: I love your podcast.
44:54
[SPEAKER_03]: It's so great.
44:55
[SPEAKER_03]: I also want to say like, I admire that you take pauses when you need to with it because I think you are so good at podcasting.
45:03
[SPEAKER_03]: You're so wonderful at it.
45:04
[SPEAKER_03]: All of your episodes have over listen or so good.
45:07
[SPEAKER_03]: And you're also allowed to be a human intake time for yourself.
45:17
[SPEAKER_03]: You have given us so much already, but you know how the show goes.
45:19
[SPEAKER_03]: We need to beat action.
45:20
[SPEAKER_03]: I was bold, executable, intrinsic or target steps.
45:22
[SPEAKER_03]: People can take to beat till they see it.
45:24
[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, the whole episode kind of was won, but anything you want to add or remind us.
45:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you know what, I actually tied it to your acronym to the DACs and it's like bold one agreement that matters like pick one like maybe you need to start just with one executable is your e you know like write it in real words not vague so be specific on what you're really shooting for the intrinsic is link it to how you want to feel not just like how much you want to way how much money like how do you really want to feel there what's the money what's the scale going to give you and then target it.
45:56
[SPEAKER_01]: today, not someday, like be very specific.
45:59
[SPEAKER_03]: Hmm.
46:00
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh my god.
46:01
[SPEAKER_03]: That's brilliant.
46:02
[SPEAKER_03]: You're so good.
46:03
[SPEAKER_03]: I love it so much.
46:06
[SPEAKER_03]: You guys, I can't even wait to hear how this episode goes.
46:09
[SPEAKER_03]: It's just so fun to have you back and see what you're up to.
46:11
[SPEAKER_03]: And also, just be reminded of like how powerful we all really are.
46:15
[SPEAKER_03]: Our minds are really powerful.
46:16
[SPEAKER_03]: I love the science find that that book sounds amazing.
46:19
[SPEAKER_03]: I can't wait to read it.
46:19
[SPEAKER_03]: I'll have to have it on.
46:20
[SPEAKER_03]: You know it before I go.
46:21
[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm gonna say this because in case anyone knows this person, I'm trying to get hold of them.
46:25
[SPEAKER_03]: There's a book called Love Yourself, like your life depends on it.
46:28
[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm gonna do a little series on like a self, like a week-long series on self-love, because everybody who's talked about it burned out, I'm this.
46:36
[SPEAKER_03]: And the book, the author, he says, you'll never burn out if you actually love yourself.
46:40
[SPEAKER_03]: Because if you truly love yourself,
46:42
[SPEAKER_03]: you wouldn't say, yes, when you mean no, you would actually take time for yourself.
46:46
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's so, I think that was too book sound like a very little book end, but also like, everything we're talking about here today, it's all part of it.
46:56
[SPEAKER_03]: It's all holistic, it's worth not little compartments.
46:59
[SPEAKER_03]: Thank you for being new Amy, you guys make sure you check out her Instagram, her podcast, her Facebook, tell her what your favorite takeaways are, you can tell me I love it.
47:09
[SPEAKER_03]: But also tell her these words of affirmation are a lot of like going to also let us know what your favorite parts are.
47:14
[SPEAKER_03]: Shares of the friend who needs to hear it, you know, it's actually kind of difficult to go through all these like five or 50 alone.
47:20
[SPEAKER_03]: Sometimes it's kind of nice to have some friends to do it with or your kiddos to do it with.
47:24
[SPEAKER_03]: And until next time, be it
47:26
[SPEAKER_03]: That's all I got for this episode of the B.A.T.A.C.A.
47:29
[SPEAKER_03]: podcast.
47:30
[SPEAKER_03]: One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review.
47:35
[SPEAKER_03]: And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts.
47:38
[SPEAKER_03]: Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the B.A.A.A.
47:41
[SPEAKER_03]: pod on Instagram.
47:43
[SPEAKER_03]: I would love to know more about you.
47:44
[SPEAKER_03]: Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it.
47:47
[SPEAKER_03]: Help us and others B.A.A.T.A.C.A.A.
47:50
[SPEAKER_03]: Have an awesome day.
47:54
[SPEAKER_03]: Be it till you see it is a production of the blue pod cast network.
47:57
[SPEAKER_03]: If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at plus one three one oh nine oh five five three four or send a DM on Instagram at be it pod.
48:09
[SPEAKER_00]: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
48:14
[SPEAKER_03]: It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epic team at disenio.co.
48:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Our theme music is by L.E.
48:20
[SPEAKER_00]: at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist John Franco Chilfe.
48:25
[SPEAKER_03]: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
48:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website.
48:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And finally, the Meredith route for keeping us all on point and on time.