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The Communication Pattern That's Secretly Sabotaging Your Conversations · Getting to Good Enough

• 0:06
  Hey
• 0:06
  there.
• 0:06
  Welcome
• 0:07
  to
• 0:07
  getting
• 0:07
  to
• 0:08
  Good
• 0:08
  Enough.
• 0:08
  I'm
• 0:09
  Shannon
• 0:09
  Wilkinson.
• 0:10
  And
• 0:10
  I'm
• 0:10
  Janine
• 0:10
  Adams.
• 0:11
  We're
• 0:12
  here
• 0:12
  for
• 0:12
  practical
• 0:12
  and
• 0:13
  fun
• 0:13
  conversations
• 0:14
  about
• 0:14
  living
• 0:14
  with
• 0:15
  more
• 0:15
  ease
• 0:15
  and
• 0:16
  way
• 0:16
  less
• 0:16
  stress.
• 0:17
  Yep.
• 0:18
  We're
• 0:18
  all
• 0:18
  about
• 0:19
  embracing
• 0:19
  progress
• 0:20
  over
• 0:20
  perfection.
• 0:22
  So
• 0:22
  grab
• 0:22
  a
• 0:22
  tasty
• 0:23
  beverage
• 0:23
  and
• 0:23
  let's
• 0:24
  get
• 0:24
  started.
• 0:25
  Hey,
• 0:26
  Janine.
• 0:27
  Hey,
• 0:27
  Shannon.
• 0:28
  How
• 0:28
  are
• 0:28
  you?
• 0:28
  I'm
• 0:29
  doing
• 0:29
  really
• 0:29
  well.
• 0:30
  How
• 0:30
  are
• 0:30
  you?
• 0:31
  I'm
• 0:31
  doing
• 0:31
  really
• 0:32
  well,
• 0:32
  too.
• 0:32
  I'm
• 0:33
  enjoying
• 0:33
  the
• 0:33
  chance
• 0:33
  to
• 0:34
  talk
• 0:34
  to
• 0:34
  you.
• 0:35
  I
• 0:35
  know.
• 0:36
  It's
• 0:36
  so
• 0:36
  nice
• 0:37
  to
• 0:37
  have
• 0:37
  this
• 0:37
  regular
• 0:38
  time.
• 0:38
  Yeah.
• 0:39
  Yeah,
• 0:39
  it's
• 0:40
  great.
• 0:41
  It's
• 0:42
  super
• 0:42
  easy
• 0:43
  to
• 0:43
  say
• 0:43
  yes
• 0:43
  to.
• 0:45
  Yeah,
• 0:45
  I
• 0:45
  mean,
• 0:46
  that's
• 0:46
  true.
• 0:46
  This
• 0:46
  was
• 0:47
  something
• 0:47
  that
• 0:48
  I
• 0:49
  said
• 0:49
  yes
• 0:49
  to
• 0:50
  immediately
• 0:51
  seven
• 0:51
  years
• 0:52
  ago
• 0:52
  that
• 0:52
  we
• 0:52
  started
• 0:53
  the
• 0:53
  podcast.
• 0:54
  One
• 0:54
  of
• 0:54
  those
• 0:54
  channel
• 0:54
  wants
• 0:55
  to
• 0:55
  do
• 0:55
  it.
• 0:55
  Okay,
• 0:55
  I'll
• 0:55
  do
• 0:55
  it.
• 0:56
  And
• 0:56
  then,
• 0:57
  then
• 0:58
  it
• 0:58
  was
• 0:58
  easy
• 0:59
  to
• 0:59
  say
• 0:59
  yes
• 0:59
  to
• 1:00
  bringing
• 1:00
  it
• 1:00
  back.
• 1:02
  No,
• 1:03
  it
• 1:03
  took
• 1:03
  a
• 1:03
  little
• 1:03
  work.
• 1:04
  Revisionist.
• 1:05
  Revisionist
• 1:05
  history
• 1:06
  here.
• 1:09
  Once
• 1:09
  you
• 1:10
  got
• 1:10
  to
• 1:10
  yes,
• 1:11
  then
• 1:11
  it
• 1:11
  was
• 1:12
  easy
• 1:12
  to
• 1:13
  keep
• 1:13
  saying
• 1:13
  yes.
• 1:14
  And
• 1:14
  like
• 1:15
  you
• 1:15
  were.
• 1:15
  Once
• 1:15
  you
• 1:15
  were
• 1:16
  on
• 1:16
  board,
• 1:16
  you
• 1:16
  were
• 1:16
  really
• 1:17
  on
• 1:17
  board.
• 1:18
  But
• 1:20
  there
• 1:20
  was
• 1:21
  a
• 1:21
  little
• 1:23
  reluctance
• 1:25
  maybe.
• 1:26
  Okay.
• 1:27
  I.
• 1:27
  I
• 1:27
  wish
• 1:28
  I
• 1:28
  could
• 1:28
  remember
• 1:28
  that.
• 1:29
  I
• 1:29
  totally
• 1:29
  believe
• 1:29
  you
• 1:30
  and
• 1:31
  I
• 1:31
  believe
• 1:31
  that
• 1:31
  I
• 1:32
  would
• 1:32
  be
• 1:32
  reluctant.
• 1:34
  Yeah.
• 1:34
  But.
• 1:35
  But
• 1:35
  it,
• 1:35
  but
• 1:36
  it
• 1:36
  wasn't,
• 1:36
  it
• 1:37
  wasn't.
• 1:39
  It
• 1:39
  wasn't
• 1:40
  like
• 1:40
  I
• 1:40
  had
• 1:40
  to
• 1:40
  spend
• 1:40
  a
• 1:41
  lot
• 1:41
  of
• 1:41
  time
• 1:41
  convincing
• 1:42
  you.
• 1:42
  I
• 1:42
  think
• 1:42
  it
• 1:42
  was
• 1:42
  just
• 1:43
  like
• 1:44
  the
• 1:44
  idea
• 1:45
  had
• 1:45
  to
• 1:45
  be
• 1:45
  presented
• 1:46
  and
• 1:46
  then
• 1:46
  just
• 1:47
  like
• 1:47
  periodically
• 1:48
  show
• 1:49
  up
• 1:50
  until
• 1:51
  you
• 1:51
  came
• 1:51
  around
• 1:52
  to
• 1:52
  thinking
• 1:53
  that
• 1:53
  it
• 1:53
  was
• 1:53
  a
• 1:53
  good
• 1:54
  idea
• 1:54
  that
• 1:54
  you
• 1:55
  wanted
• 1:55
  to
• 1:55
  do.
• 1:56
  You
• 1:56
  could.
• 1:57
  You
• 1:57
  could
• 1:57
  write
• 1:58
  or
• 1:58
  not
• 1:59
  write.
• 1:59
  Well,
• 1:59
  you
• 1:59
  could
• 1:59
  write
• 1:59
  a
• 2:00
  book,
• 2:00
  but
• 2:00
  you
• 2:00
  could
• 2:00
  also
• 2:01
  make
• 2:01
  a
• 2:01
  lot
• 2:01
  of
• 2:01
  money
• 2:02
  teaching
• 2:03
  people
• 2:03
  how
• 2:04
  to
• 2:04
  present
• 2:04
  things
• 2:05
  to
• 2:05
  get
• 2:05
  to.
• 2:05
  Yes,
• 2:06
  because
• 2:06
  you're
• 2:06
  very
• 2:06
  good
• 2:07
  at
• 2:07
  it
• 2:07
  and
• 2:08
  you
• 2:08
  offer
• 2:08
  great
• 2:09
  advice
• 2:09
  in
• 2:09
  talking
• 2:10
  to
• 2:10
  one's
• 2:10
  spouses,
• 2:10
  for
• 2:11
  example.
• 2:12
  Well,
• 2:13
  yeah,
• 2:13
  because
• 2:14
  the
• 2:14
  usual
• 2:15
  sort
• 2:15
  of
• 2:15
  sticking
• 2:16
  point
• 2:16
  we
• 2:16
  all
• 2:17
  have
• 2:17
  is
• 2:17
  talking
• 2:17
  to
• 2:18
  people
• 2:18
  as
• 2:18
  if
• 2:18
  they
• 2:19
  were
• 2:19
  like
• 2:19
  ourselves
• 2:21
  and.
• 2:22
  And
• 2:22
  so
• 2:23
  often
• 2:23
  they
• 2:23
  are
• 2:23
  not
• 2:24
  like
• 2:24
  us.
• 2:25
  Exactly.
• 2:26
  So
• 2:26
  if
• 2:26
  we
• 2:26
  approach
• 2:27
  somebody
• 2:27
  else
• 2:27
  the
• 2:27
  way
• 2:27
  we
• 2:28
  want
• 2:28
  to
• 2:28
  be
• 2:28
  approached,
• 2:28
  that
• 2:29
  may
• 2:29
  not
• 2:29
  be
• 2:30
  the
• 2:30
  way
• 2:31
  to
• 2:31
  get
• 2:31
  to
• 2:31
  yes.
• 2:32
  Right?
• 2:33
  Huh?
• 2:34
  Correcting.
• 2:35
  Yeah.
• 2:35
  Now
• 2:36
  I
• 2:36
  feel
• 2:36
  like
• 2:36
  this
• 2:36
  is
• 2:37
  what
• 2:37
  we
• 2:37
  should
• 2:37
  talk
• 2:37
  about.
• 2:39
  I.
• 2:39
  I
• 2:39
  know.
• 2:40
  Let's
• 2:41
  do
• 2:41
  it.
• 2:41
  We
• 2:41
  can.
• 2:41
  Okay.
• 2:42
  Yeah.
• 2:43
  Yes.
• 2:47
  Look
• 2:47
  at
• 2:47
  how
• 2:47
  that
• 2:47
  works.
• 2:49
  Yeah,
• 2:50
  let's
• 2:50
  talk
• 2:50
  about
• 2:51
  that.
• 2:52
  I
• 2:52
  think
• 2:52
  one
• 2:53
  of
• 2:53
  the
• 2:54
  biggest
• 2:54
  times
• 2:55
  that
• 2:55
  people
• 2:55
  notice
• 2:56
  a
• 2:56
  huge
• 2:56
  difference,
• 2:56
  and
• 2:57
  I
• 2:57
  think
• 2:57
  this
• 2:57
  is.
• 2:57
  Might
• 2:57
  be
• 2:58
  what
• 2:58
  you're
• 2:58
  referring
• 2:58
  to
• 2:59
  in
• 2:59
  terms
• 2:59
  of
• 2:59
  talking
• 3:00
  to
• 3:00
  your
• 3:00
  spouse
• 3:01
  is
• 3:03
  in,
• 3:05
  I
• 3:05
  don't
• 3:05
  know,
• 3:05
  I
• 3:05
  guess
• 3:05
  psychology.
• 3:06
  And
• 3:06
  I
• 3:07
  learned
• 3:07
  it
• 3:07
  in
• 3:07
  my
• 3:09
  neuro
• 3:09
  linguistic
• 3:10
  programming
• 3:10
  training.
• 3:11
  But
• 3:11
  people
• 3:12
  who
• 3:13
  look
• 3:14
  for
• 3:15
  similarities
• 3:16
  in
• 3:16
  things.
• 3:16
  Like
• 3:17
  when
• 3:17
  they're
• 3:17
  looking
• 3:18
  at
• 3:18
  a
• 3:19
  variety
• 3:19
  of
• 3:20
  things,
• 3:21
  they
• 3:21
  see
• 3:21
  what's
• 3:22
  similar,
• 3:23
  and
• 3:23
  there
• 3:23
  are
• 3:23
  people
• 3:24
  who
• 3:24
  see
• 3:24
  what's
• 3:25
  different,
• 3:27
  and
• 3:28
  those
• 3:29
  are
• 3:29
  really
• 3:29
  different
• 3:30
  worlds
• 3:30
  to
• 3:30
  live
• 3:30
  in.
• 3:33
  And
• 3:33
  you're
• 3:34
  a
• 3:35
  similarity
• 3:36
  person.
• 3:37
  I
• 3:37
  definitely
• 3:37
  see
• 3:38
  similarities,
• 3:38
  yes.
• 3:39
  And
• 3:39
  your
• 3:40
  husband
• 3:41
  is
• 3:41
  a
• 3:41
  differences
• 3:42
  person.
• 3:43
  Yes.
• 3:45
  And.
• 3:46
  And
• 3:46
  until
• 3:46
  you
• 3:47
  help
• 3:47
  me,
• 3:48
  that.
• 3:48
  That
• 3:49
  made
• 3:49
  it
• 3:49
  difficult
• 3:50
  to.
• 3:51
  Sometimes
• 3:51
  to
• 3:51
  communicate.
• 3:52
  Yeah.
• 3:53
  And
• 3:53
  I'm.
• 3:54
  I'm
• 3:54
  a
• 3:54
  mix.
• 3:55
  I
• 3:55
  used
• 3:56
  to
• 3:56
  be
• 3:56
  a
• 4:00
  person
• 4:01
  who
• 4:02
  primarily
• 4:03
  sorted
• 4:03
  for
• 4:04
  difference
• 4:04
  and
• 4:05
  then
• 4:05
  similarity,
• 4:06
  and
• 4:07
  now
• 4:07
  I've
• 4:07
  become
• 4:08
  more
• 4:08
  of
• 4:08
  a
• 4:09
  person
• 4:09
  who
• 4:12
  sees
• 4:12
  similarity
• 4:13
  and
• 4:14
  sorts
• 4:14
  for
• 4:14
  differences.
• 4:16
  And
• 4:18
  so
• 4:18
  this
• 4:19
  is.
• 4:19
  Can
• 4:19
  be
• 4:20
  an
• 4:20
  evolving
• 4:21
  thing.
• 4:22
  Absolutely.
• 4:23
  And
• 4:23
  I.
• 4:23
  And
• 4:24
  I
• 4:24
  think
• 4:24
  now
• 4:25
  I'm.
• 4:25
  I
• 4:25
  haven't
• 4:26
  ever
• 4:26
  put
• 4:26
  this
• 4:27
  together,
• 4:27
  and
• 4:27
  I
• 4:28
  may
• 4:28
  be
• 4:28
  wrong
• 4:28
  because
• 4:28
  it's
• 4:29
  quite
• 4:29
  possible.
• 4:29
  I
• 4:30
  talked
• 4:30
  about
• 4:30
  this
• 4:30
  in
• 4:30
  a
• 4:30
  previous
• 4:31
  podcast,
• 4:31
  but
• 4:32
  I
• 4:33
  don't
• 4:33
  remember.
• 4:33
  So
• 4:33
  it
• 4:34
  feels
• 4:34
  like
• 4:34
  a
• 4:35
  new
• 4:35
  revelation
• 4:35
  to
• 4:36
  me
• 4:37
  that
• 4:40
  perfectionistic
• 4:41
  tendencies
• 4:43
  may
• 4:43
  be
• 4:44
  related
• 4:45
  to
• 4:45
  being
• 4:46
  a
• 4:46
  person
• 4:46
  who
• 4:48
  sees
• 4:48
  difference,
• 4:49
  who
• 4:49
  sorts
• 4:50
  for
• 4:50
  difference.
• 4:52
  Is
• 4:52
  that
• 4:52
  because
• 4:54
  when
• 4:55
  you're
• 4:55
  looking
• 4:55
  for
• 4:56
  perfect,
• 4:56
  you're
• 4:57
  on
• 4:57
  the
• 4:57
  lookout
• 4:57
  for
• 4:58
  imperfect?
• 4:59
  Yeah.
• 5:00
  You're
• 5:00
  looking
• 5:00
  for
• 5:00
  things
• 5:01
  that
• 5:01
  take
• 5:01
  you
• 5:01
  away
• 5:02
  from
• 5:02
  perfection.
• 5:06
  And
• 5:07
  I
• 5:07
  think
• 5:07
  that's
• 5:08
  what
• 5:09
  is
• 5:09
  sort
• 5:09
  of
• 5:09
  the
• 5:10
  tipping
• 5:10
  point
• 5:10
  between,
• 5:11
  like,
• 5:11
  striving
• 5:12
  for
• 5:13
  good
• 5:14
  or,
• 5:14
  you
• 5:14
  know,
• 5:15
  striving
• 5:15
  for
• 5:16
  success.
• 5:16
  And
• 5:17
  perfectionism
• 5:18
  is
• 5:18
  that
• 5:19
  perfectionism
• 5:20
  constantly
• 5:21
  sees
• 5:22
  what's
• 5:22
  not
• 5:22
  perfect.
• 5:24
  Right.
• 5:24
  And
• 5:25
  that
• 5:25
  doesn't
• 5:25
  sound
• 5:25
  like
• 5:25
  a
• 5:26
  very
• 5:26
  pleasant
• 5:26
  place
• 5:27
  to
• 5:27
  live.
• 5:28
  No.
• 5:29
  But
• 5:29
  a
• 5:30
  lot
• 5:30
  of
• 5:30
  people
• 5:30
  feel
• 5:30
  pretty
• 5:31
  hardwired
• 5:32
  in
• 5:32
  that
• 5:32
  way
• 5:33
  and
• 5:33
  that
• 5:34
  it
• 5:34
  doesn't.
• 5:34
  It
• 5:35
  doesn't
• 5:35
  feel
• 5:35
  like
• 5:36
  something
• 5:36
  you
• 5:37
  can
• 5:37
  change
• 5:38
  or
• 5:38
  something
• 5:38
  that
• 5:39
  can
• 5:39
  evolve
• 5:39
  over
• 5:39
  time.
• 5:40
  But
• 5:41
  definitely
• 5:42
  I'm
• 5:43
  a
• 5:43
  good
• 5:43
  example
• 5:43
  of
• 5:44
  how
• 5:44
  it
• 5:44
  can.
• 5:45
  Yeah.
• 5:47
  I
• 5:47
  know
• 5:48
  that
• 5:48
  the
• 5:48
  pod
• 5:49
  that
• 5:49
  talking
• 5:49
  about
• 5:50
  this
• 5:50
  stuff
• 5:50
  for
• 5:50
  all
• 5:50
  those
• 5:51
  years
• 5:52
  had
• 5:52
  an
• 5:52
  effect
• 5:52
  on
• 5:53
  that,
• 5:53
  on
• 5:53
  your
• 5:54
  journey
• 5:54
  toward
• 5:54
  good
• 5:55
  enough.
• 5:55
  Absolutely.
• 5:57
  Besides
• 5:57
  that,
• 5:58
  have
• 5:58
  you
• 5:58
  been
• 5:59
  trying
• 5:59
  to
• 6:00
  change
• 6:01
  this?
• 6:02
  Well,
• 6:05
  I
• 6:05
  think
• 6:05
  I've
• 6:06
  been
• 6:08
  more
• 6:08
  about
• 6:09
  trying
• 6:09
  to
• 6:10
  keep
• 6:10
  it
• 6:10
  in
• 6:11
  context.
• 6:12
  So
• 6:12
  there
• 6:12
  are
• 6:12
  situations
• 6:13
  where
• 6:13
  it's
• 6:14
  great
• 6:14
  to
• 6:15
  be
• 6:15
  a
• 6:16
  person
• 6:16
  who
• 6:16
  sees
• 6:16
  difference.
• 6:17
  Like
• 6:18
  if
• 6:19
  you're
• 6:20
  editing
• 6:20
  some
• 6:21
  writing,
• 6:22
  typos
• 6:23
  jump
• 6:23
  out
• 6:23
  at
• 6:24
  you
• 6:24
  if
• 6:24
  you
• 6:25
  sort
• 6:26
  for
• 6:26
  difference,
• 6:26
  because
• 6:27
  you
• 6:27
  see
• 6:28
  the
• 6:28
  thing
• 6:28
  that
• 6:29
  breaks
• 6:29
  the
• 6:29
  pattern.
• 6:30
  Right.
• 6:31
  And
• 6:31
  I
• 6:31
  try
• 6:32
  to
• 6:32
  harness
• 6:33
  Barry's
• 6:34
  seeing
• 6:34
  differences.
• 6:35
  When
• 6:35
  I
• 6:35
  was
• 6:36
  learning
• 6:36
  to
• 6:36
  knit,
• 6:37
  and
• 6:37
  I
• 6:37
  would
• 6:38
  be
• 6:38
  knitting,
• 6:38
  and
• 6:39
  I'd
• 6:39
  come
• 6:39
  up
• 6:39
  with
• 6:39
  the
• 6:39
  wrong
• 6:40
  number
• 6:40
  of
• 6:40
  stitches
• 6:41
  on
• 6:41
  my
• 6:41
  needle,
• 6:42
  and
• 6:42
  I
• 6:42
  couldn't
• 6:43
  see
• 6:43
  the
• 6:43
  problem.
• 6:43
  I
• 6:44
  couldn't
• 6:44
  see
• 6:44
  the
• 6:44
  mistake.
• 6:44
  And
• 6:45
  I
• 6:45
  would
• 6:45
  just
• 6:45
  say
• 6:45
  to
• 6:46
  him,
• 6:46
  there's
• 6:46
  a
• 6:46
  mistake
• 6:47
  in
• 6:47
  here.
• 6:47
  Can
• 6:47
  you
• 6:47
  find
• 6:47
  it?
• 6:48
  He'd
• 6:48
  be
• 6:48
  like,
• 6:48
  boom,
• 6:49
  there
• 6:49
  it
• 6:49
  is.
• 6:50
  You
• 6:50
  know,
• 6:50
  A
• 6:50
  drop
• 6:50
  stitch
• 6:51
  or
• 6:51
  an
• 6:51
  added
• 6:51
  stitch
• 6:52
  or
• 6:52
  whatever.
• 6:52
  Yeah,
• 6:53
  yeah.
• 6:53
  So
• 6:53
  I
• 6:54
  definitely
• 6:54
  feel
• 6:55
  those.
• 6:55
  The
• 6:55
  difference
• 6:56
  between
• 6:56
  those
• 6:56
  two
• 6:56
  things.
• 6:57
  Right.
• 6:57
  So
• 6:58
  you
• 6:58
  can
• 6:58
  see
• 6:59
  how
• 6:59
  in.
• 6:59
  In
• 7:00
  some
• 7:00
  respects,
• 7:01
  it's
• 7:01
  a.
• 7:01
  It
• 7:01
  can
• 7:01
  be
• 7:02
  a
• 7:02
  little
• 7:02
  bit
• 7:02
  of
• 7:02
  a
• 7:02
  superpower
• 7:03
  of
• 7:03
  being
• 7:04
  able
• 7:04
  to
• 7:04
  identify,
• 7:05
  you
• 7:05
  know,
• 7:06
  see
• 7:06
  those
• 7:06
  patterns
• 7:07
  immediately.
• 7:07
  And
• 7:08
  I
• 7:08
  feel
• 7:08
  that,
• 7:08
  like,
• 7:09
  I'll
• 7:09
  open
• 7:09
  a
• 7:09
  menu
• 7:10
  and
• 7:11
  I'll
• 7:11
  see
• 7:12
  a
• 7:12
  typo.
• 7:13
  Like,
• 7:13
  it
• 7:14
  just
• 7:14
  has.
• 7:15
  It
• 7:15
  feels
• 7:15
  to
• 7:16
  me
• 7:16
  like
• 7:16
  it
• 7:16
  has
• 7:16
  neon
• 7:16
  lights
• 7:17
  on
• 7:17
  it.
• 7:18
  Yeah.
• 7:18
  Like,
• 7:19
  I
• 7:19
  don't
• 7:19
  even
• 7:19
  have
• 7:19
  to
• 7:20
  read
• 7:20
  it
• 7:20
  if
• 7:20
  I
• 7:21
  feel
• 7:21
  like
• 7:21
  it
• 7:21
  pops
• 7:22
  out
• 7:22
  at
• 7:22
  me.
• 7:24
  But
• 7:24
  it's
• 7:25
  sort
• 7:25
  of
• 7:26
  less
• 7:26
  enjoyable
• 7:28
  if
• 7:29
  you
• 7:29
  have,
• 7:29
  say,
• 7:30
  finished
• 7:31
  a
• 7:31
  knitting
• 7:32
  project,
• 7:32
  which
• 7:33
  you're
• 7:33
  really
• 7:33
  excited
• 7:34
  and
• 7:34
  happy
• 7:34
  about,
• 7:35
  and
• 7:35
  you
• 7:36
  show
• 7:36
  it
• 7:36
  to
• 7:36
  someone
• 7:36
  who
• 7:37
  sorts
• 7:37
  for
• 7:37
  difference,
• 7:38
  and
• 7:38
  they
• 7:39
  say
• 7:40
  the
• 7:40
  first
• 7:40
  thing
• 7:40
  they
• 7:40
  notice
• 7:41
  is
• 7:41
  the
• 7:42
  mistake.
• 7:42
  You
• 7:42
  know,
• 7:43
  they
• 7:43
  see
• 7:43
  a
• 7:43
  drop
• 7:43
  stitch
• 7:44
  in
• 7:44
  there.
• 7:45
  Yeah,
• 7:46
  definitely
• 7:46
  that.
• 7:47
  I've
• 7:47
  lived
• 7:48
  to
• 7:48
  that.
• 7:48
  Yes.
• 7:49
  Now,
• 7:50
  and
• 7:50
  my
• 7:51
  takeaway
• 7:51
  from
• 7:51
  that,
• 7:52
  having
• 7:52
  experienced
• 7:53
  that,
• 7:53
  was
• 7:53
  I
• 7:53
  just
• 7:54
  stopped
• 7:54
  showing
• 7:54
  it
• 7:54
  to
• 7:54
  them.
• 7:55
  Or
• 7:55
  actually,
• 7:55
  he
• 7:55
  also
• 7:55
  learned.
• 7:56
  He
• 7:56
  actually
• 7:57
  did
• 7:57
  learn
• 7:57
  not
• 7:57
  to
• 7:57
  say
• 7:58
  the
• 7:58
  thing
• 7:58
  that
• 7:58
  came
• 7:58
  to
• 7:58
  his
• 7:59
  mind.
• 7:59
  Right.
• 8:00
  Yeah.
• 8:01
  Because
• 8:01
  that
• 8:01
  didn't
• 8:02
  go
• 8:02
  well.
• 8:03
  Yeah.
• 8:04
  But,
• 8:05
  you
• 8:05
  know,
• 8:05
  sort
• 8:05
  of
• 8:05
  knowing
• 8:06
  that
• 8:06
  that's
• 8:06
  how
• 8:07
  his
• 8:07
  brain
• 8:07
  is
• 8:07
  wired
• 8:08
  and
• 8:08
  how
• 8:08
  your
• 8:08
  brain
• 8:08
  is
• 8:09
  wired,
• 8:10
  it
• 8:10
  makes
• 8:10
  it
• 8:11
  easier
• 8:11
  to
• 8:12
  say,
• 8:13
  I
• 8:14
  want
• 8:14
  to
• 8:14
  be
• 8:14
  able
• 8:14
  to
• 8:14
  show
• 8:14
  you
• 8:15
  things
• 8:15
  and
• 8:15
  have
• 8:15
  you
• 8:15
  just
• 8:16
  be
• 8:16
  excited
• 8:17
  and
• 8:17
  not
• 8:17
  point
• 8:18
  out
• 8:18
  the
• 8:18
  mistakes.
• 8:19
  Right.
• 8:19
  I'm
• 8:20
  not
• 8:20
  looking
• 8:20
  for
• 8:20
  that
• 8:21
  kind
• 8:21
  of
• 8:21
  feedback
• 8:21
  right
• 8:22
  now.
• 8:22
  It's
• 8:22
  done.
• 8:23
  Yeah,
• 8:23
  yeah,
• 8:24
  yeah.
• 8:25
  I'm
• 8:25
  excited
• 8:26
  that
• 8:26
  it's
• 8:26
  done
• 8:27
  and
• 8:27
  I
• 8:27
  can
• 8:27
  show
• 8:27
  it
• 8:28
  to
• 8:28
  people.
• 8:31
  And
• 8:31
  that.
• 8:32
  And
• 8:32
  that's
• 8:32
  like
• 8:32
  a
• 8:32
  huge.
• 8:34
  That's
• 8:35
  like
• 8:35
  a
• 8:35
  fundamental
• 8:35
  difference
• 8:36
  is
• 8:36
  like,
• 8:36
  understanding,
• 8:38
  particularly,
• 8:39
  you
• 8:39
  know,
• 8:40
  with
• 8:40
  a
• 8:40
  spouse
• 8:41
  or
• 8:41
  a
• 8:41
  partner,
• 8:42
  someone
• 8:42
  that
• 8:43
  you
• 8:44
  are
• 8:44
  interacting
• 8:45
  with
• 8:45
  a
• 8:46
  lot
• 8:46
  if.
• 8:47
  Particularly
• 8:47
  if
• 8:48
  you
• 8:48
  two
• 8:48
  see
• 8:49
  things
• 8:49
  differently
• 8:50
  or
• 8:51
  experience
• 8:51
  things
• 8:51
  differently.
• 8:53
  And.
• 8:54
  Yeah,
• 8:54
  because
• 8:54
  it
• 8:54
  can
• 8:54
  lead
• 8:55
  to
• 8:55
  a
• 8:55
  lot
• 8:55
  of
• 8:55
  frustration
• 8:57
  if
• 8:57
  you
• 8:57
  don't.
• 8:58
  If
• 8:58
  you
• 8:58
  don't
• 8:58
  know
• 8:58
  it,
• 8:58
  if
• 8:59
  you
• 8:59
  don't
• 8:59
  recognize
• 8:59
  it
• 8:59
  for
• 9:00
  what
• 9:00
  it
• 9:00
  is.
• 9:01
  Yeah,
• 9:01
  yeah.
• 9:02
  And.
• 9:02
  And
• 9:03
  it's
• 9:03
  helpful
• 9:04
  to
• 9:06
  tell
• 9:06
  the
• 9:06
  other
• 9:06
  person
• 9:07
  what
• 9:07
  you
• 9:07
  need
• 9:07
  from
• 9:08
  them
• 9:09
  so
• 9:09
  that
• 9:11
  you
• 9:11
  can
• 9:11
  get
• 9:11
  what
• 9:12
  it
• 9:12
  is
• 9:12
  that
• 9:12
  you
• 9:12
  want,
• 9:13
  as
• 9:14
  opposed
• 9:14
  to
• 9:14
  just
• 9:15
  continually
• 9:15
  being
• 9:16
  frustrated.
• 9:17
  And
• 9:17
  it's.
• 9:17
  Sometimes
• 9:18
  it's
• 9:18
  hard
• 9:18
  because
• 9:19
  I.
• 9:19
  I,
• 9:19
  like,
• 9:20
  sort
• 9:21
  of
• 9:21
  feel
• 9:21
  like
• 9:21
  that
• 9:21
  is
• 9:22
  cheating
• 9:22
  somehow.
• 9:23
  Like,
• 9:23
  if
• 9:24
  I
• 9:24
  say,
• 9:25
  I
• 9:25
  just
• 9:25
  want
• 9:26
  you
• 9:26
  to
• 9:26
  be
• 9:26
  excited
• 9:26
  for
• 9:27
  me,
• 9:27
  I
• 9:27
  don't
• 9:27
  need
• 9:27
  any
• 9:28
  feedback
• 9:28
  right
• 9:28
  now.
• 9:29
  I
• 9:29
  just
• 9:29
  want
• 9:29
  you
• 9:29
  to
• 9:29
  be
• 9:30
  excited.
• 9:31
  But
• 9:31
  if
• 9:32
  I
• 9:32
  say
• 9:32
  that
• 9:32
  and
• 9:32
  then
• 9:33
  they're
• 9:33
  excited,
• 9:34
  I'm
• 9:34
  happy
• 9:35
  about
• 9:35
  that.
• 9:35
  Like,
• 9:35
  it's
• 9:36
  good.
• 9:37
  Yeah.
• 9:37
  I
• 9:37
  could
• 9:38
  see
• 9:38
  how
• 9:38
  it
• 9:38
  could
• 9:38
  diminish
• 9:39
  the
• 9:40
  feel
• 9:41
  like
• 9:41
  it
• 9:41
  diminishes
• 9:42
  the
• 9:42
  authenticity
• 9:43
  of
• 9:43
  the.
• 9:43
  Of
• 9:43
  the
• 9:44
  excitement
• 9:44
  on
• 9:45
  the
• 9:45
  part
• 9:45
  of
• 9:45
  the
• 9:45
  other
• 9:46
  person.
• 9:46
  But
• 9:47
  that's
• 9:47
  not
• 9:47
  fair
• 9:48
  to
• 9:48
  him
• 9:48
  or
• 9:48
  her
• 9:49
  because
• 9:50
  they're
• 9:51
  genuinely
• 9:51
  excited.
• 9:52
  Right.
• 9:53
  I
• 9:53
  mean,
• 9:54
  then.
• 9:55
  Then
• 9:55
  you
• 9:56
  should
• 9:56
  have
• 9:56
  the
• 9:56
  full,
• 9:56
  the
• 9:57
  full
• 9:57
  benefit
• 9:57
  of
• 9:57
  that.
• 9:58
  Yeah,
• 9:58
  but
• 9:59
  you're
• 9:59
  right.
• 9:59
  Just
• 10:00
  saying
• 10:00
  those
• 10:00
  or.
• 10:01
  I
• 10:01
  know,
• 10:01
  I
• 10:01
  don't
• 10:01
  know
• 10:02
  if
• 10:02
  this
• 10:02
  falls
• 10:03
  into
• 10:03
  that
• 10:04
  same
• 10:05
  thing,
• 10:05
  but
• 10:05
  like,
• 10:06
  sometimes
• 10:07
  when
• 10:07
  you
• 10:07
  have
• 10:07
  a
• 10:07
  problem,
• 10:08
  you
• 10:08
  don't
• 10:08
  want
• 10:08
  a
• 10:08
  solution
• 10:09
  suggested.
• 10:09
  You
• 10:10
  just
• 10:10
  want
• 10:10
  commiseration.
• 10:11
  Right.
• 10:14
  And
• 10:15
  sometimes
• 10:16
  I
• 10:16
  will
• 10:16
  say
• 10:16
  that
• 10:16
  before
• 10:17
  I
• 10:17
  present.
• 10:18
  I'm
• 10:18
  just
• 10:18
  complaining
• 10:19
  about
• 10:19
  this.
• 10:20
  I'm
• 10:20
  not
• 10:20
  looking
• 10:20
  for
• 10:21
  a
• 10:21
  solution.
• 10:21
  Yep.
• 10:22
  Yeah.
• 10:23
  Yeah.
• 10:24
  And.
• 10:24
  And
• 10:25
  that's
• 10:26
  super
• 10:26
  helpful
• 10:26
  for
• 10:27
  both
• 10:27
  of
• 10:27
  you
• 10:28
  because
• 10:29
  then
• 10:29
  you
• 10:29
  can
• 10:29
  have
• 10:30
  a
• 10:30
  conversation
• 10:31
  that
• 10:32
  is
• 10:32
  satisfying.
• 10:34
  Like,
• 10:34
  you
• 10:34
  get
• 10:34
  what
• 10:34
  you
• 10:35
  want
• 10:35
  and
• 10:36
  then
• 10:36
  the
• 10:36
  other
• 10:37
  person
• 10:37
  doesn't
• 10:38
  feel
• 10:38
  frustrated
• 10:39
  that
• 10:39
  what
• 10:39
  they
• 10:39
  were
• 10:40
  trying
• 10:40
  to
• 10:40
  offer
• 10:40
  wasn't
• 10:41
  received
• 10:41
  well
• 10:42
  and.
• 10:42
  Right.
• 10:43
  Yeah.
• 10:44
  Yeah.
• 10:44
  So
• 10:45
  that's
• 10:45
  a
• 10:45
  great.
• 10:45
  It's
• 10:46
  a
• 10:46
  great
• 10:46
  communication
• 10:46
  tool.
• 10:47
  Are
• 10:48
  there
• 10:48
  other.
• 10:48
  I
• 10:49
  mean,
• 10:49
  you
• 10:49
  taught
• 10:49
  me
• 10:50
  about
• 10:50
  that
• 10:50
  similarities
• 10:50
  and
• 10:51
  differences
• 10:51
  thing
• 10:51
  about
• 10:52
  20
• 10:53
  years
• 10:53
  ago,
• 10:53
  and
• 10:53
  it
• 10:53
  was
• 10:55
  so
• 10:55
  helpful,
• 10:55
  like,
• 10:56
  so
• 10:56
  glad
• 10:56
  you
• 10:56
  went
• 10:56
  to
• 10:57
  NLP
• 10:57
  school.
• 10:59
  Are
• 10:59
  there
• 11:00
  other
• 11:01
  tricks
• 11:01
  or
• 11:02
  communication
• 11:02
  foibles
• 11:03
  that
• 11:03
  people
• 11:04
  could
• 11:05
  benefit
• 11:05
  from
• 11:05
  learning
• 11:06
  about?
• 11:06
  Yeah,
• 11:07
  there's
• 11:07
  also
• 11:08
  something
• 11:09
  called
• 11:09
  mismatching
• 11:11
  where
• 11:12
  it's.
• 11:14
  It
• 11:14
  sort
• 11:14
  of
• 11:14
  doesn't
• 11:15
  matter
• 11:16
  what
• 11:17
  someone
• 11:17
  is
• 11:17
  being
• 11:18
  told.
• 11:18
  Their
• 11:19
  inclination
• 11:20
  is
• 11:21
  to
• 11:22
  sort
• 11:23
  of
• 11:24
  go
• 11:24
  the
• 11:25
  opposite
• 11:25
  way
• 11:26
  or
• 11:28
  to
• 11:29
  say
• 11:30
  no
• 11:31
  immediately.
• 11:32
  And
• 11:32
  I
• 11:32
  know
• 11:32
  I
• 11:32
  sort
• 11:33
  of
• 11:33
  fall
• 11:33
  on
• 11:33
  that.
• 11:34
  Like,
• 11:35
  you
• 11:35
  know
• 11:35
  how
• 11:36
  there's
• 11:36
  the
• 11:36
  sort
• 11:37
  of.
• 11:37
  The
• 11:37
  sales
• 11:37
  technique
• 11:38
  of
• 11:38
  asking
• 11:39
  questions,
• 11:41
  of
• 11:41
  saying,
• 11:42
  well,
• 11:43
  if
• 11:43
  this
• 11:43
  could
• 11:43
  do
• 11:44
  this
• 11:44
  for
• 11:44
  you,
• 11:44
  wouldn't
• 11:45
  you
• 11:45
  want
• 11:45
  that?
• 11:46
  And
• 11:47
  my
• 11:47
  immediate
• 11:48
  reaction
• 11:48
  is
• 11:48
  like,
• 11:49
  no.
• 11:50
  Is
• 11:51
  that
• 11:51
  because
• 11:51
  you're
• 11:51
  being
• 11:51
  sold
• 11:52
  to?
• 11:53
  I
• 11:54
  feel
• 11:54
  like
• 11:54
  I'm
• 11:54
  being
• 11:54
  sold
• 11:55
  to.
• 11:55
  Right.
• 11:56
  Yeah.
• 11:57
  And
• 11:57
  I
• 11:57
  don't
• 11:57
  like
• 11:57
  that.
• 11:58
  I
• 11:58
  don't.
• 11:58
  I
• 11:58
  don't
• 11:59
  want
• 11:59
  to.
• 11:59
  I
• 11:59
  don't
• 11:59
  like
• 11:59
  to
• 12:00
  feel
• 12:00
  manipulated.
• 12:02
  And
• 12:03
  I
• 12:03
  also
• 12:03
  don't
• 12:04
  want
• 12:04
  to
• 12:05
  feel
• 12:05
  like
• 12:06
  I'm
• 12:07
  making
• 12:07
  a
• 12:07
  commitment
• 12:08
  to
• 12:08
  something
• 12:08
  before
• 12:09
  I'm
• 12:09
  ready
• 12:09
  to
• 12:09
  make
• 12:10
  a
• 12:10
  commitment
• 12:10
  to
• 12:10
  it.
• 12:11
  Yeah.
• 12:12
  So,
• 12:13
  you
• 12:13
  know,
• 12:13
  someone
• 12:13
  asked
• 12:14
  me
• 12:14
  that
• 12:14
  question.
• 12:15
  What
• 12:15
  I
• 12:15
  really
• 12:15
  want
• 12:15
  to
• 12:15
  be
• 12:16
  able
• 12:16
  to
• 12:16
  say
• 12:16
  is
• 12:17
  possibly,
• 12:18
  but
• 12:19
  I
• 12:19
  don't
• 12:19
  have
• 12:19
  enough
• 12:19
  information
• 12:20
  yet.
• 12:22
  I
• 12:22
  don't
• 12:22
  know.
• 12:24
  And
• 12:24
  it's
• 12:25
  hard
• 12:25
  to
• 12:25
  say
• 12:26
  that
• 12:26
  in
• 12:26
  a
• 12:27
  conversation
• 12:28
  like
• 12:28
  that.
• 12:28
  Like,
• 12:29
  you
• 12:29
  know,
• 12:30
  it
• 12:31
  feels
• 12:31
  like
• 12:31
  a
• 12:31
  yes
• 12:32
  or
• 12:32
  no
• 12:32
  answer
• 12:32
  and
• 12:33
  to.
• 12:34
  To
• 12:34
  say
• 12:34
  the
• 12:35
  third
• 12:35
  thing,
• 12:36
  maybe
• 12:37
  I
• 12:37
  don't
• 12:38
  know
• 12:38
  yet
• 12:40
  is
• 12:41
  can
• 12:42
  feel.
• 12:43
  I
• 12:43
  don't
• 12:43
  know,
• 12:43
  it
• 12:43
  feels.
• 12:44
  I
• 12:45
  guess
• 12:45
  it
• 12:45
  can
• 12:45
  feel
• 12:45
  a
• 12:45
  little
• 12:46
  combative,
• 12:46
  maybe,
• 12:47
  or
• 12:48
  like,
• 12:48
  I'm
• 12:49
  not.
• 12:49
  I'm
• 12:49
  not
• 12:50
  doing
• 12:50
  my
• 12:51
  lines
• 12:51
  properly.
• 12:52
  Like,
• 12:53
  you
• 12:53
  know,
• 12:53
  like
• 12:53
  the
• 12:54
  little
• 12:54
  people
• 12:54
  pleaser
• 12:55
  comes
• 12:55
  out.
• 12:55
  It
• 12:56
  is
• 12:56
  like.
• 12:57
  Yeah.
• 12:58
  And
• 12:58
  it's
• 12:58
  extending
• 12:59
  the
• 12:59
  conversation
• 13:00
  that
• 13:00
  maybe
• 13:00
  you
• 13:00
  don't
• 13:01
  want
• 13:01
  to
• 13:01
  be
• 13:01
  having
• 13:01
  anyway.
• 13:01
  Yeah,
• 13:02
  I
• 13:02
  could
• 13:02
  see
• 13:02
  that
• 13:03
  being
• 13:03
  a
• 13:03
  hesitancy,
• 13:03
  like.
• 13:04
  Yeah,
• 13:05
  that's
• 13:05
  not
• 13:06
  what
• 13:06
  I
• 13:06
  want
• 13:06
  to
• 13:06
  talk
• 13:06
  about
• 13:06
  right
• 13:07
  now.
• 13:07
  I
• 13:07
  want
• 13:07
  to
• 13:07
  talk
• 13:07
  about
• 13:08
  whatever
• 13:09
  it
• 13:09
  is.
• 13:09
  I
• 13:10
  want
• 13:10
  to
• 13:10
  talk
• 13:11
  about
• 13:11
  the
• 13:11
  features
• 13:11
  of
• 13:11
  that
• 13:11
  car.
• 13:12
  Right.
• 13:12
  Not
• 13:13
  about.
• 13:13
  Yeah,
• 13:14
  but
• 13:15
  so
• 13:15
  the
• 13:15
  mismatchers
• 13:17
  tend
• 13:17
  to
• 13:17
  have
• 13:17
  a
• 13:18
  knee
• 13:18
  jerk
• 13:18
  reaction
• 13:19
  of
• 13:19
  no
• 13:19
  against
• 13:20
  a
• 13:20
  suggestion.
• 13:22
  Right?
• 13:22
  Correct.
• 13:23
  Yeah.
• 13:23
  Or,
• 13:24
  or,
• 13:24
  you
• 13:24
  know,
• 13:25
  whatever's
• 13:25
  being
• 13:26
  said,
• 13:26
  they're
• 13:27
  sort
• 13:27
  of
• 13:30
  immediately
• 13:30
  sort
• 13:31
  of
• 13:31
  feel
• 13:31
  like
• 13:31
  they
• 13:32
  need
• 13:32
  to
• 13:32
  be
• 13:32
  on
• 13:32
  the
• 13:32
  opposite
• 13:33
  side.
• 13:34
  You
• 13:34
  know,
• 13:34
  it's
• 13:35
  a
• 13:35
  little
• 13:35
  bit
• 13:35
  of
• 13:35
  the
• 13:37
  kind
• 13:37
  of
• 13:37
  the
• 13:38
  let
• 13:38
  me
• 13:38
  be
• 13:39
  the
• 13:39
  devil's
• 13:39
  advocate
• 13:40
  here
• 13:41
  kind
• 13:41
  of
• 13:41
  thing.
• 13:42
  Right.
• 13:43
  But.
• 13:44
  But
• 13:44
  the
• 13:44
  thing
• 13:45
  is
• 13:45
  that's
• 13:46
  often,
• 13:47
  that
• 13:48
  sort
• 13:48
  of
• 13:48
  pattern
• 13:49
  of
• 13:49
  thinking
• 13:49
  is
• 13:50
  often
• 13:51
  just
• 13:51
  a
• 13:51
  protection.
• 13:52
  It's
• 13:52
  sort
• 13:52
  of
• 13:53
  like,
• 13:54
  you
• 13:54
  know
• 13:54
  what
• 13:54
  I
• 13:54
  was
• 13:54
  just
• 13:55
  saying,
• 13:55
  if
• 13:55
  you
• 13:55
  get
• 13:55
  asked
• 13:56
  that
• 13:56
  question
• 13:57
  of,
• 13:58
  well,
• 13:58
  if
• 13:58
  I
• 13:59
  could
• 13:59
  do
• 13:59
  this
• 13:59
  for
• 13:59
  you,
• 14:01
  would
• 14:01
  you
• 14:01
  buy
• 14:02
  it?
• 14:03
  It's
• 14:04
  sort
• 14:04
  of
• 14:04
  like
• 14:05
  I'm
• 14:06
  not
• 14:06
  ready
• 14:07
  to
• 14:07
  answer
• 14:07
  yes
• 14:07
  or
• 14:08
  no,
• 14:08
  but
• 14:09
  I'm
• 14:09
  gonna
• 14:09
  say
• 14:10
  no
• 14:10
  because
• 14:11
  I
• 14:12
  want
• 14:12
  to
• 14:12
  protect
• 14:13
  myself
• 14:14
  from
• 14:15
  whatever
• 14:15
  it
• 14:15
  is
• 14:16
  you're
• 14:16
  pitching
• 14:16
  me.
• 14:19
  Or
• 14:19
  it's
• 14:20
  a
• 14:20
  way
• 14:20
  to
• 14:20
  sort
• 14:20
  of
• 14:21
  preserve
• 14:23
  their
• 14:23
  ability
• 14:23
  to
• 14:24
  make
• 14:24
  a
• 14:24
  decision
• 14:26
  and
• 14:26
  you
• 14:27
  know.
• 14:27
  Yeah.
• 14:27
  Not
• 14:27
  get
• 14:28
  pushed
• 14:28
  around.
• 14:29
  And
• 14:29
  the
• 14:29
  opposite
• 14:30
  of
• 14:30
  that
• 14:30
  is
• 14:31
  what
• 14:32
  the
• 14:33
  opposite
• 14:33
  of
• 14:33
  a
• 14:33
  mismatcher
• 14:34
  is
• 14:34
  somebody
• 14:35
  who
• 14:36
  doesn't.
• 14:37
  Who.
• 14:38
  Yeah,
• 14:38
  does.
• 14:38
  Who
• 14:39
  maybe
• 14:39
  agrees
• 14:40
  with
• 14:40
  something,
• 14:41
  whether
• 14:41
  or
• 14:41
  not
• 14:41
  they
• 14:41
  really
• 14:42
  agree
• 14:42
  with
• 14:42
  it,
• 14:43
  just
• 14:43
  to
• 14:44
  be
• 14:45
  agreeable.
• 14:45
  Agreeable,
• 14:47
  Right.
• 14:48
  To
• 14:49
  match
• 14:49
  as
• 14:49
  opposed
• 14:50
  to
• 14:50
  mismatch.
• 14:51
  I
• 14:51
  see,
• 14:52
  Right.
• 14:52
  And
• 14:52
  that
• 14:52
  can
• 14:52
  have
• 14:53
  its
• 14:53
  ups
• 14:53
  and
• 14:53
  downs
• 14:54
  as
• 14:54
  well.
• 14:54
  I
• 14:54
  would
• 14:54
  think
• 14:55
  it's
• 14:55
  pros
• 14:55
  and
• 14:55
  cons.
• 14:56
  Oh
• 14:56
  yeah,
• 14:57
  absolutely.
• 14:58
  Yeah.
• 14:58
  All
• 14:58
  of
• 14:58
  these
• 14:59
  things,
• 15:00
  I
• 15:00
  think
• 15:01
  initially
• 15:01
  start
• 15:02
  as
• 15:02
  kind
• 15:03
  of
• 15:03
  a
• 15:03
  way
• 15:04
  to
• 15:04
  protect
• 15:05
  yourself
• 15:07
  and
• 15:08
  then
• 15:08
  can
• 15:09
  maybe
• 15:09
  even
• 15:09
  feel
• 15:10
  a
• 15:10
  little
• 15:10
  problematic
• 15:11
  because
• 15:12
  it
• 15:12
  just
• 15:12
  happens
• 15:13
  so
• 15:13
  quickly.
• 15:13
  You
• 15:14
  don't
• 15:14
  even
• 15:14
  think
• 15:14
  about
• 15:14
  it.
• 15:15
  You
• 15:15
  may
• 15:15
  not
• 15:15
  even
• 15:15
  know
• 15:15
  that
• 15:16
  you're
• 15:16
  doing
• 15:16
  it.
• 15:18
  But
• 15:18
  it.
• 15:20
  That's
• 15:20
  just
• 15:21
  how
• 15:22
  your
• 15:22
  brain
• 15:22
  works.
• 15:25
  And
• 15:25
  the
• 15:25
  thing
• 15:26
  about
• 15:26
  it
• 15:26
  is
• 15:26
  you
• 15:26
  can
• 15:27
  present
• 15:27
  ideas
• 15:28
  to
• 15:29
  a
• 15:29
  mismatcher,
• 15:30
  say
• 15:33
  in
• 15:33
  a
• 15:33
  way
• 15:33
  that
• 15:34
  allows
• 15:34
  them
• 15:35
  to
• 15:36
  hear
• 15:36
  the
• 15:36
  information
• 15:38
  and
• 15:39
  remain
• 15:39
  at
• 15:40
  a
• 15:40
  place
• 15:40
  of
• 15:40
  choice,
• 15:41
  like
• 15:41
  where
• 15:42
  they
• 15:42
  feel
• 15:43
  like
• 15:43
  they
• 15:43
  can
• 15:43
  make
• 15:44
  a
• 15:44
  real
• 15:44
  decision
• 15:45
  as
• 15:45
  opposed
• 15:45
  to
• 15:46
  having
• 15:47
  to
• 15:47
  just
• 15:47
  say
• 15:49
  the
• 15:49
  opposite
• 15:49
  of
• 15:50
  whatever
• 15:50
  it
• 15:50
  is
• 15:50
  that
• 15:51
  you
• 15:51
  said.
• 15:52
  So
• 15:52
  if
• 15:53
  somebody
• 15:53
  were
• 15:53
  married
• 15:54
  to
• 15:54
  a
• 15:54
  mismatcher,
• 15:55
  they
• 15:56
  might
• 15:56
  want
• 15:56
  to
• 15:56
  hear
• 15:57
  how
• 15:57
  to
• 15:57
  do
• 15:57
  that.
• 15:57
  Right?
• 15:58
  They,
• 15:58
  they,
• 15:59
  maybe
• 15:59
  they
• 15:59
  do,
• 16:00
  but
• 16:00
  the,
• 16:01
  the
• 16:01
  easiest
• 16:01
  thing
• 16:02
  to
• 16:02
  do
• 16:03
  is
• 16:04
  to
• 16:05
  say
• 16:06
  up
• 16:06
  front,
• 16:06
  like
• 16:07
  to
• 16:07
  give
• 16:07
  them,
• 16:09
  to
• 16:09
  let
• 16:09
  them
• 16:09
  know
• 16:09
  that
• 16:10
  they
• 16:10
  have,
• 16:11
  they
• 16:11
  can
• 16:12
  make
• 16:12
  a
• 16:12
  real
• 16:12
  decision
• 16:13
  here.
• 16:13
  They
• 16:13
  don't
• 16:14
  have
• 16:14
  to
• 16:14
  just
• 16:15
  react
• 16:16
  to
• 16:16
  what
• 16:16
  it
• 16:16
  is
• 16:16
  you're
• 16:17
  saying.
• 16:18
  And
• 16:18
  one
• 16:18
  of
• 16:18
  the
• 16:18
  easiest
• 16:19
  ways
• 16:19
  to
• 16:19
  do
• 16:20
  that
• 16:20
  is
• 16:21
  saying
• 16:22
  something
• 16:22
  along
• 16:23
  the
• 16:23
  lines
• 16:24
  of
• 16:24
  let's
• 16:25
  say
• 16:25
  you're
• 16:25
  trying
• 16:26
  to
• 16:26
  decide
• 16:27
  where
• 16:27
  to
• 16:28
  go
• 16:28
  to
• 16:28
  dinner
• 16:29
  and
• 16:30
  there's
• 16:31
  a
• 16:31
  place
• 16:31
  you
• 16:31
  want
• 16:31
  to
• 16:32
  try.
• 16:32
  But
• 16:32
  you
• 16:33
  know,
• 16:33
  if
• 16:33
  you
• 16:33
  say,
• 16:34
  hey,
• 16:34
  let's
• 16:35
  go
• 16:35
  to
• 16:35
  the
• 16:35
  new
• 16:35
  Italian
• 16:36
  place,
• 16:36
  they're
• 16:37
  going
• 16:37
  to
• 16:37
  say,
• 16:37
  no.
• 16:40
  I
• 16:40
  can't
• 16:40
  relate
• 16:40
  to
• 16:40
  that
• 16:41
  at
• 16:41
  all,
• 16:41
  but
• 16:41
  go
• 16:42
  ahead.
• 16:43
  So
• 16:43
  if
• 16:43
  you
• 16:44
  say,
• 16:44
  hey,
• 16:45
  I
• 16:45
  don't
• 16:45
  know
• 16:45
  if
• 16:46
  this
• 16:46
  is
• 16:46
  anything
• 16:46
  you'd
• 16:47
  be
• 16:47
  interested
• 16:48
  in,
• 16:48
  but
• 16:48
  I
• 16:49
  heard
• 16:49
  about
• 16:49
  this
• 16:50
  new
• 16:50
  Italian
• 16:51
  place
• 16:52
  and
• 16:52
  you're
• 16:52
  not
• 16:52
  even
• 16:53
  asking
• 16:53
  a
• 16:53
  question,
• 16:55
  but
• 16:55
  you're
• 16:55
  putting
• 16:55
  this
• 16:56
  information
• 16:56
  out
• 16:56
  there
• 16:58
  and
• 16:59
  there's
• 16:59
  not
• 16:59
  a
• 17:00
  clear
• 17:00
  yes
• 17:00
  or
• 17:01
  no.
• 17:03
  And
• 17:04
  the
• 17:06
  implied
• 17:06
  question
• 17:07
  isn't
• 17:08
  even
• 17:08
  about
• 17:08
  the
• 17:08
  thing
• 17:09
  that
• 17:09
  you
• 17:09
  really
• 17:10
  want
• 17:10
  to
• 17:10
  know
• 17:10
  about.
• 17:12
  You
• 17:12
  know,
• 17:12
  the
• 17:12
  implied
• 17:13
  question
• 17:13
  is
• 17:13
  whether
• 17:14
  or
• 17:14
  not
• 17:14
  they've
• 17:15
  heard
• 17:15
  of
• 17:15
  it
• 17:15
  or
• 17:16
  would
• 17:16
  be
• 17:16
  interested
• 17:17
  in
• 17:17
  it.
• 17:18
  And
• 17:21
  so
• 17:22
  if
• 17:23
  people
• 17:24
  feel
• 17:25
  like
• 17:25
  that
• 17:25
  can
• 17:25
  be
• 17:25
  manipulative
• 17:27
  and
• 17:28
  really
• 17:28
  it's
• 17:29
  not,
• 17:29
  you're
• 17:30
  just
• 17:30
  providing
• 17:30
  information
• 17:31
  to
• 17:31
  someone
• 17:32
  in
• 17:32
  a
• 17:32
  way
• 17:32
  that
• 17:32
  they
• 17:33
  can
• 17:33
  hear
• 17:33
  it
• 17:34
  and
• 17:35
  respond
• 17:36
  based
• 17:36
  on
• 17:37
  what
• 17:37
  they
• 17:37
  really
• 17:37
  want
• 17:38
  as
• 17:38
  opposed
• 17:39
  to
• 17:40
  their
• 17:41
  sort
• 17:42
  of
• 17:42
  immediate
• 17:43
  reaction
• 17:43
  to
• 17:44
  being
• 17:44
  asked
• 17:44
  a
• 17:44
  question.
• 17:46
  Right,
• 17:46
  so,
• 17:47
  so
• 17:48
  I
• 17:48
  want
• 17:48
  to
• 17:48
  hear
• 17:48
  that
• 17:49
  again.
• 17:50
  I
• 17:50
  heard
• 17:50
  it.
• 17:50
  I
• 17:51
  mean,
• 17:51
  I
• 17:51
  took
• 17:51
  in
• 17:51
  what
• 17:51
  you
• 17:51
  said,
• 17:52
  but
• 17:52
  is
• 17:52
  that
• 17:52
  if
• 17:52
  I
• 17:53
  were
• 17:53
  wanting
• 17:53
  to
• 17:54
  replicate
• 17:54
  that,
• 17:57
  it's
• 17:57
  a
• 17:58
  question
• 17:58
  that
• 17:58
  is
• 18:00
  neutral.
• 18:01
  That's
• 18:02
  not
• 18:03
  do
• 18:03
  you
• 18:03
  want
• 18:04
  to
• 18:04
  go
• 18:05
  to
• 18:05
  France
• 18:06
  for
• 18:07
  vacation?
• 18:09
  It's
• 18:10
  a
• 18:10
  question
• 18:10
  that
• 18:10
  opens
• 18:11
  up
• 18:11
  the
• 18:11
  conversation
• 18:12
  without
• 18:14
  they're
• 18:14
  having
• 18:15
  to
• 18:15
  respond
• 18:15
  to
• 18:16
  the
• 18:16
  thing
• 18:16
  that
• 18:16
  you
• 18:16
  really
• 18:17
  want
• 18:17
  to
• 18:17
  ask
• 18:18
  to
• 18:18
  know.
• 18:18
  Right,
• 18:19
  right.
• 18:20
  So
• 18:20
  you
• 18:21
  could
• 18:21
  say,
• 18:22
  so
• 18:22
  using
• 18:23
  that
• 18:23
  example,
• 18:24
  you
• 18:25
  could
• 18:25
  say,
• 18:26
  you
• 18:26
  know,
• 18:26
  I
• 18:26
  don't
• 18:27
  know
• 18:27
  if
• 18:27
  this
• 18:27
  is
• 18:27
  anything
• 18:28
  that
• 18:28
  you
• 18:28
  would
• 18:29
  be
• 18:29
  interested
• 18:30
  in.
• 18:31
  I've
• 18:31
  been
• 18:31
  thinking
• 18:33
  it
• 18:33
  would
• 18:33
  be
• 18:34
  kind
• 18:34
  of
• 18:34
  fun
• 18:34
  to
• 18:34
  vacation
• 18:35
  in
• 18:35
  France.
• 18:36
  And
• 18:37
  then,
• 18:37
  and
• 18:37
  that
• 18:38
  is
• 18:38
  just,
• 18:38
  it's
• 18:38
  an
• 18:39
  open
• 18:39
  ended
• 18:41
  phrase
• 18:42
  that
• 18:42
  is
• 18:43
  sort
• 18:43
  of
• 18:43
  masquerading
• 18:44
  as
• 18:44
  a
• 18:45
  question
• 18:46
  or
• 18:47
  a
• 18:47
  question.
• 18:47
  Masquerading.
• 18:48
  Masquerading
• 18:49
  as
• 18:49
  a
• 18:50
  phrase
• 18:51
  that
• 18:51
  opens
• 18:52
  a
• 18:52
  discussion
• 18:54
  as
• 18:55
  opposed
• 18:55
  to
• 18:57
  asking
• 18:58
  a
• 18:58
  very
• 18:58
  straightforward
• 18:59
  question
• 19:00
  that's
• 19:01
  going
• 19:01
  to
• 19:01
  elicit
• 19:02
  an
• 19:02
  immediate
• 19:03
  response
• 19:04
  whether
• 19:05
  whether
• 19:05
  or
• 19:05
  not
• 19:05
  the
• 19:06
  person
• 19:06
  really
• 19:06
  feels
• 19:07
  that
• 19:07
  way.
• 19:07
  And
• 19:08
  that's
• 19:08
  the
• 19:08
  thing
• 19:08
  that
• 19:08
  I've
• 19:08
  noticed
• 19:09
  with
• 19:10
  mismatchers
• 19:10
  that
• 19:10
  I
• 19:11
  have
• 19:11
  in
• 19:11
  my
• 19:12
  life
• 19:12
  is
• 19:12
  that
• 19:13
  they'll
• 19:14
  often
• 19:14
  say
• 19:15
  no
• 19:16
  immediately
• 19:18
  and
• 19:19
  then
• 19:20
  a
• 19:20
  day
• 19:20
  or
• 19:21
  two
• 19:21
  later
• 19:21
  come
• 19:21
  back
• 19:21
  and
• 19:22
  was
• 19:22
  like,
• 19:22
  oh,
• 19:22
  you
• 19:22
  know,
• 19:22
  I
• 19:22
  was
• 19:23
  thinking
• 19:23
  about
• 19:23
  that
• 19:24
  and
• 19:25
  you
• 19:25
  know,
• 19:25
  that
• 19:25
  does
• 19:25
  sound
• 19:26
  sort
• 19:26
  of
• 19:26
  interesting.
• 19:27
  But
• 19:28
  you
• 19:28
  know,
• 19:28
  I
• 19:28
  took
• 19:28
  them
• 19:29
  at
• 19:29
  their
• 19:29
  word
• 19:29
  and
• 19:29
  was
• 19:30
  like,
• 19:30
  oh,
• 19:30
  they
• 19:30
  don't
• 19:30
  want
• 19:30
  to
• 19:31
  do
• 19:31
  that.
• 19:31
  And,
• 19:32
  you
• 19:32
  know,
• 19:33
  so
• 19:33
  it
• 19:33
  just
• 19:34
  allows
• 19:34
  you
• 19:35
  to
• 19:35
  have
• 19:35
  a
• 19:36
  conversation
• 19:38
  in
• 19:39
  a
• 19:39
  way
• 19:39
  that
• 19:40
  feels
• 19:41
  good
• 19:42
  to
• 19:42
  the
• 19:42
  other
• 19:43
  person.
• 19:44
  That's
• 19:45
  excellent.
• 19:45
  And
• 19:45
  how
• 19:46
  would
• 19:46
  someone
• 19:46
  know
• 19:46
  whether
• 19:47
  or
• 19:47
  not
• 19:47
  they're
• 19:47
  a
• 19:48
  mismatcher?
• 19:49
  How
• 19:49
  would
• 19:50
  someone
• 19:50
  know
• 19:50
  that
• 19:50
  about
• 19:50
  themselves?
• 19:54
  Well,
• 19:55
  pay
• 19:55
  attention.
• 19:56
  Yeah,
• 19:57
  I
• 19:57
  mean,
• 19:57
  pay
• 19:58
  attention
• 19:58
  when
• 19:58
  someone
• 19:59
  asks
• 19:59
  you
• 19:59
  a
• 20:00
  question.
• 20:02
  What.
• 20:02
  What's
• 20:03
  that
• 20:03
  like
• 20:03
  for
• 20:04
  you?
• 20:05
  Like,
• 20:06
  you
• 20:06
  know,
• 20:06
  do
• 20:06
  you
• 20:06
  sort
• 20:07
  of
• 20:07
  feel
• 20:08
  guarded?
• 20:09
  Do
• 20:10
  you
• 20:10
  feel
• 20:10
  put
• 20:10
  on
• 20:11
  the
• 20:11
  spot?
• 20:12
  Do
• 20:12
  you
• 20:13
  feel
• 20:14
  like
• 20:14
  you
• 20:15
  can
• 20:16
  respond
• 20:18
  the
• 20:18
  way
• 20:19
  you
• 20:19
  really
• 20:19
  want
• 20:19
  to?
• 20:20
  Do
• 20:20
  you
• 20:20
  feel
• 20:20
  like
• 20:20
  you
• 20:21
  need
• 20:21
  more
• 20:21
  time
• 20:23
  just
• 20:24
  to
• 20:24
  start
• 20:24
  paying
• 20:24
  attention
• 20:25
  to
• 20:27
  your
• 20:27
  experience
• 20:28
  when
• 20:29
  someone
• 20:29
  asks
• 20:29
  you
• 20:30
  a
• 20:30
  question?
• 20:31
  Yeah,
• 20:31
  because
• 20:32
  I.
• 20:32
  I
• 20:32
  don't.
• 20:32
  I
• 20:32
  realize.
• 20:33
  I
• 20:33
  don't
• 20:33
  know.
• 20:34
  I
• 20:34
  don't
• 20:34
  know
• 20:35
  necessarily
• 20:35
  where
• 20:36
  I
• 20:36
  fall
• 20:37
  in.
• 20:38
  In
• 20:39
  that
• 20:39
  if
• 20:40
  I'm
• 20:40
  a
• 20:40
  mismatcher
• 20:41
  or
• 20:41
  not,
• 20:42
  but
• 20:43
  what
• 20:44
  do
• 20:44
  you
• 20:44
  know
• 20:44
  about
• 20:44
  me?
• 20:45
  Yeah,
• 20:45
  you're
• 20:45
  not
• 20:46
  watching.
• 20:46
  I'm
• 20:47
  not.
• 20:47
  Okay,
• 20:47
  good.
• 20:47
  I
• 20:48
  thought
• 20:48
  I
• 20:48
  wasn't,
• 20:48
  but.
• 20:49
  But
• 20:49
  I
• 20:49
  had
• 20:49
  this
• 20:49
  experience
• 20:50
  a
• 20:50
  few
• 20:50
  weeks
• 20:50
  ago
• 20:51
  when
• 20:51
  I
• 20:51
  was
• 20:51
  visiting
• 20:51
  a
• 20:52
  friend,
• 20:53
  and
• 20:53
  I
• 20:54
  put
• 20:54
  on.
• 20:54
  I
• 20:54
  was
• 20:55
  wearing
• 20:55
  my
• 20:56
  maxi
• 20:57
  dress,
• 20:58
  and
• 20:58
  she
• 20:58
  said,
• 20:58
  I
• 20:59
  really
• 20:59
  think
• 20:59
  you
• 20:59
  could
• 21:00
  stand
• 21:00
  it.
• 21:00
  Shorten
• 21:01
  that
• 21:01
  by
• 21:02
  2
• 21:02
  inches.
• 21:03
  And
• 21:03
  I
• 21:04
  said,
• 21:04
  no,
• 21:05
  she's
• 21:06
  all,
• 21:06
  okay.
• 21:07
  And
• 21:09
  then
• 21:11
  within
• 21:11
  an
• 21:11
  hour,
• 21:11
  I
• 21:12
  said,
• 21:12
  you
• 21:12
  know,
• 21:13
  let's
• 21:14
  talk
• 21:14
  about
• 21:14
  that.
• 21:15
  And
• 21:15
  then
• 21:15
  I.
• 21:16
  Before
• 21:16
  the
• 21:16
  end
• 21:17
  of
• 21:17
  the
• 21:17
  day,
• 21:17
  I
• 21:17
  had
• 21:17
  an
• 21:17
  appointment
• 21:18
  to
• 21:18
  get
• 21:18
  it
• 21:18
  hemmed,
• 21:18
  and
• 21:19
  now
• 21:19
  it's
• 21:19
  him.
• 21:19
  And
• 21:19
  she
• 21:19
  was
• 21:20
  right.
• 21:20
  She
• 21:21
  said,
• 21:21
  well,
• 21:21
  let
• 21:21
  me
• 21:21
  pin
• 21:21
  it
• 21:21
  up
• 21:22
  for
• 21:22
  you,
• 21:22
  and
• 21:22
  you
• 21:22
  can
• 21:22
  see.
• 21:23
  Okay.
• 21:24
  Sure
• 21:24
  enough,
• 21:26
  it
• 21:26
  was
• 21:26
  better.
• 21:27
  But
• 21:27
  I
• 21:27
  definitely
• 21:27
  had
• 21:27
  that
• 21:28
  knee
• 21:28
  jerk
• 21:28
  reaction
• 21:28
  of
• 21:29
  no.
• 21:30
  Yeah,
• 21:30
  well,
• 21:31
  and
• 21:31
  that
• 21:31
  sounds
• 21:33
  like.
• 21:34
  And.
• 21:34
  And
• 21:34
  these
• 21:35
  things
• 21:35
  are
• 21:35
  sort
• 21:35
  of
• 21:35
  related,
• 21:36
  but
• 21:36
  I
• 21:36
  think
• 21:37
  that's
• 21:37
  more
• 21:37
  of
• 21:38
  you
• 21:38
  not
• 21:39
  wanting
• 21:39
  to
• 21:39
  be
• 21:39
  told
• 21:40
  what
• 21:40
  to
• 21:40
  do.
• 21:42
  I
• 21:42
  knew
• 21:42
  you
• 21:42
  were
• 21:43
  gonna
• 21:43
  say
• 21:43
  that
• 21:43
  as
• 21:43
  soon
• 21:43
  as
• 21:44
  you
• 21:44
  started.
• 21:44
  Like,
• 21:44
  yeah,
• 21:45
  that
• 21:45
  was
• 21:45
  what
• 21:45
  that
• 21:45
  was.
• 21:46
  I
• 21:46
  don't
• 21:46
  like.
• 21:47
  I
• 21:47
  don't
• 21:47
  like
• 21:47
  to
• 21:48
  be
• 21:48
  told
• 21:48
  what
• 21:48
  to
• 21:48
  do.
• 21:49
  Yeah,
• 21:49
  I
• 21:49
  don't
• 21:50
  mind
• 21:50
  being
• 21:50
  asked
• 21:50
  to
• 21:50
  do
• 21:51
  things,
• 21:51
  but.
• 21:51
  Yeah,
• 21:52
  yeah.
• 21:52
  Like,
• 21:53
  how.
• 21:53
  How
• 21:54
  would
• 21:54
  it
• 21:54
  have
• 21:54
  felt
• 21:55
  in
• 21:55
  that
• 21:55
  situation
• 21:56
  if
• 21:56
  they
• 21:57
  said,
• 21:57
  hey,
• 21:57
  have
• 21:57
  you
• 21:58
  ever
• 21:58
  considered,
• 22:00
  you
• 22:01
  know,
• 22:01
  hemming
• 22:01
  that
• 22:01
  a
• 22:01
  little
• 22:02
  bit?
• 22:02
  Like,
• 22:02
  brazing
• 22:02
  the
• 22:03
  hem
• 22:03
  a
• 22:03
  little
• 22:03
  bit?
• 22:04
  Yeah,
• 22:05
  that
• 22:05
  would
• 22:05
  have
• 22:05
  felt
• 22:05
  much
• 22:06
  better.
• 22:06
  And
• 22:06
  I
• 22:06
  probably
• 22:06
  would
• 22:06
  have
• 22:07
  said,
• 22:07
  well,
• 22:08
  you
• 22:08
  know,
• 22:09
  let's
• 22:09
  try.
• 22:10
  Yeah,
• 22:10
  let's
• 22:11
  talk
• 22:11
  about
• 22:11
  that.
• 22:11
  Yeah,
• 22:11
  you're
• 22:12
  right.
• 22:12
  Okay,
• 22:12
  good.
• 22:12
  I
• 22:13
  don't
• 22:13
  want
• 22:13
  to
• 22:13
  be
• 22:13
  a
• 22:13
  mismatcher.
• 22:14
  I
• 22:14
  don't
• 22:14
  know
• 22:14
  why.
• 22:14
  There's
• 22:15
  nothing
• 22:15
  wrong
• 22:16
  with
• 22:16
  being
• 22:16
  a
• 22:16
  mismatcher,
• 22:17
  but.
• 22:17
  No,
• 22:17
  there's
• 22:18
  nothing
• 22:18
  wrong
• 22:18
  with
• 22:18
  it.
• 22:20
  And
• 22:22
  especially
• 22:23
  when
• 22:23
  you
• 22:24
  Sort
• 22:24
  of
• 22:24
  know
• 22:25
  that
• 22:25
  that's
• 22:25
  what's
• 22:26
  going
• 22:26
  on.
• 22:26
  And
• 22:26
  I
• 22:27
  think
• 22:27
  a
• 22:27
  little
• 22:27
  bit
• 22:28
  of
• 22:28
  it
• 22:28
  is
• 22:28
  like
• 22:29
  not
• 22:29
  wanting
• 22:29
  to
• 22:30
  be
• 22:30
  told
• 22:30
  what
• 22:30
  to
• 22:30
  do
• 22:31
  or
• 22:31
  not
• 22:31
  wanting
• 22:32
  to
• 22:32
  be,
• 22:34
  you
• 22:34
  know,
• 22:35
  sort
• 22:35
  of
• 22:35
  forced
• 22:35
  into
• 22:35
  a
• 22:36
  situation
• 22:36
  that
• 22:36
  they
• 22:36
  don't
• 22:37
  want
• 22:37
  to
• 22:37
  be
• 22:37
  in.
• 22:38
  And
• 22:38
  it's.
• 22:39
  It's
• 22:39
  a.
• 22:41
  It
• 22:41
  works
• 22:42
  finger
• 22:43
  quotes
• 22:43
  in
• 22:44
  a
• 22:44
  way,
• 22:44
  but
• 22:45
  it's
• 22:45
  not
• 22:46
  necessarily
• 22:47
  useful
• 22:48
  in
• 22:49
  a
• 22:49
  lot
• 22:49
  of
• 22:49
  situations.
• 22:51
  You
• 22:51
  know,
• 22:51
  it's
• 22:52
  like,
• 22:52
  it's
• 22:52
  a
• 22:52
  strategy
• 22:53
  that
• 22:53
  people
• 22:53
  may
• 22:54
  not
• 22:54
  even
• 22:54
  know
• 22:54
  that
• 22:54
  they're
• 22:55
  employing
• 22:55
  that
• 22:57
  keeps
• 22:58
  them
• 22:58
  safe.
• 22:59
  But.
• 22:59
  But
• 23:01
  it
• 23:02
  just
• 23:02
  isn't.
• 23:04
  It
• 23:05
  just
• 23:05
  isn't
• 23:06
  always
• 23:06
  helpful.
• 23:07
  Yeah.
• 23:07
  Very
• 23:08
  interesting.
• 23:09
  Yeah.
• 23:10
  But
• 23:11
  I
• 23:11
  think
• 23:11
  it's
• 23:12
  a
• 23:12
  good
• 23:12
  thing
• 23:12
  to
• 23:13
  sort
• 23:13
  of
• 23:13
  notice.
• 23:14
  And
• 23:14
  like
• 23:14
  I
• 23:15
  said,
• 23:15
  I've
• 23:15
  been
• 23:15
  trying
• 23:15
  to
• 23:16
  sort
• 23:17
  of
• 23:17
  use
• 23:19
  my
• 23:20
  ability
• 23:20
  to
• 23:21
  see
• 23:21
  similarities
• 23:22
  and
• 23:22
  my
• 23:22
  ability
• 23:22
  to
• 23:23
  see
• 23:23
  differences
• 23:25
  context
• 23:26
  specific.
• 23:27
  Like,
• 23:27
  weirdly,
• 23:28
  with
• 23:28
  faces,
• 23:30
  I
• 23:31
  feel
• 23:31
  like
• 23:31
  I'm
• 23:31
  very
• 23:32
  much
• 23:32
  a
• 23:33
  similarity
• 23:33
  person,
• 23:34
  because
• 23:34
  when
• 23:34
  I
• 23:34
  see
• 23:34
  people,
• 23:35
  I'm
• 23:35
  always
• 23:35
  thinking
• 23:36
  like,
• 23:36
  oh,
• 23:36
  they
• 23:36
  look
• 23:37
  like
• 23:37
  so
• 23:37
  and
• 23:37
  so,
• 23:38
  or,
• 23:38
  you
• 23:38
  know,
• 23:39
  they
• 23:39
  remind
• 23:39
  me
• 23:39
  of
• 23:40
  this
• 23:40
  person
• 23:40
  or
• 23:41
  whatever.
• 23:41
  Which
• 23:42
  is
• 23:42
  really
• 23:43
  very
• 23:44
  much
• 23:44
  about
• 23:45
  finding
• 23:45
  similarities
• 23:47
  as
• 23:47
  opposed
• 23:47
  to
• 23:47
  differences,
• 23:49
  I
• 23:49
  think.
• 23:49
  I
• 23:49
  wish
• 23:50
  I
• 23:50
  saw
• 23:50
  more
• 23:50
  differences
• 23:51
  when
• 23:51
  it
• 23:51
  comes
• 23:51
  to
• 23:51
  faces
• 23:52
  because.
• 23:52
  Because
• 23:53
  I
• 23:53
  now
• 23:53
  live
• 23:53
  in
• 23:53
  a
• 23:54
  building
• 23:54
  with
• 23:54
  300
• 23:55
  people
• 23:55
  and.
• 23:55
  And
• 23:56
  it'd
• 23:56
  be
• 23:56
  nice
• 23:57
  to
• 23:57
  really
• 23:57
  be
• 23:57
  able
• 23:58
  to
• 23:58
  hone
• 23:59
  in
• 23:59
  on
• 23:59
  the
• 23:59
  individuals
• 24:00
  more
• 24:00
  than
• 24:01
  I
• 24:01
  do.
• 24:01
  That's.
• 24:02
  That's
• 24:02
  interesting.
• 24:03
  I
• 24:03
  hadn't
• 24:03
  really
• 24:03
  put
• 24:03
  that
• 24:04
  together,
• 24:04
  but
• 24:05
  I
• 24:05
  think
• 24:06
  that
• 24:06
  does
• 24:07
  help
• 24:07
  you
• 24:09
  differentiate
• 24:10
  people.
• 24:11
  Yes.
• 24:12
  Yeah.
• 24:13
  You
• 24:13
  know,
• 24:13
  seeing
• 24:14
  what's
• 24:14
  unique.
• 24:16
  Yeah.
• 24:17
  If
• 24:17
  I
• 24:17
  want
• 24:17
  to
• 24:17
  try
• 24:17
  to
• 24:18
  practice,
• 24:18
  this
• 24:18
  would
• 24:18
  be
• 24:19
  a
• 24:20
  good
• 24:20
  place
• 24:20
  to
• 24:21
  practice,
• 24:22
  right?
• 24:22
  Oh,
• 24:23
  yeah.
• 24:23
  That
• 24:23
  would
• 24:23
  be
• 24:23
  a
• 24:23
  great
• 24:23
  way
• 24:24
  to
• 24:24
  practice
• 24:24
  it.
• 24:25
  But
• 24:25
  I
• 24:25
  noticed
• 24:25
  that
• 24:25
  you
• 24:26
  said
• 24:26
  if
• 24:26
  you
• 24:26
  wanted
• 24:27
  to,
• 24:27
  so.
• 24:27
  Yeah,
• 24:29
  I
• 24:29
  have
• 24:30
  to
• 24:30
  think
• 24:30
  about
• 24:30
  that.
• 24:30
  Not
• 24:31
  committing
• 24:31
  to
• 24:31
  it.
• 24:32
  Not
• 24:32
  committing
• 24:32
  to
• 24:32
  it.
• 24:33
  No.
• 24:33
  You
• 24:33
  know,
• 24:33
  if
• 24:33
  I
• 24:34
  commit
• 24:34
  to
• 24:34
  something
• 24:34
  on
• 24:34
  this
• 24:35
  podcast,
• 24:35
  I
• 24:35
  like
• 24:35
  to.
• 24:36
  To
• 24:36
  stick.
• 24:37
  Stick
• 24:37
  with
• 24:37
  it.
• 24:38
  I
• 24:38
  know
• 24:38
  you
• 24:38
  wouldn't
• 24:38
  be
• 24:39
  able
• 24:39
  to
• 24:39
  report
• 24:39
  back.
• 24:40
  Exactly.
• 24:43
  I
• 24:43
  get
• 24:44
  it.
• 24:44
  I
• 24:44
  totally
• 24:45
  get
• 24:45
  it.
• 24:46
  But
• 24:46
  yeah,
• 24:46
  it's.
• 24:47
  It's
• 24:47
  just
• 24:47
  interesting
• 24:48
  to
• 24:48
  sort
• 24:49
  of
• 24:49
  pay
• 24:49
  attention
• 24:49
  to
• 24:52
  how
• 24:53
  the
• 24:53
  people
• 24:53
  in
• 24:53
  your
• 24:53
  life
• 24:55
  do
• 24:55
  that.
• 24:56
  And.
• 24:57
  And
• 24:57
  I
• 24:57
  really
• 24:57
  do
• 24:58
  think
• 24:58
  that
• 24:59
  paying
• 25:00
  attention
• 25:01
  to
• 25:02
  sameness
• 25:02
  and
• 25:02
  similarities
• 25:03
  has
• 25:04
  eased
• 25:05
  some
• 25:05
  of
• 25:05
  my
• 25:06
  perfectionistic
• 25:07
  tendencies.
• 25:09
  Nice.
• 25:11
  Well,
• 25:11
  that's
• 25:11
  really
• 25:11
  cool.
• 25:12
  Yeah.
• 25:13
  Yeah,
• 25:15
  I
• 25:15
  know.
• 25:16
  I
• 25:16
  love
• 25:16
  stuff
• 25:16
  like
• 25:16
  that.
• 25:17
  Like,
• 25:17
  really
• 25:18
  that
• 25:19
  it
• 25:19
  seems
• 25:19
  so
• 25:20
  simple.
• 25:21
  Yeah.
• 25:22
  I
• 25:22
  love
• 25:22
  it
• 25:23
  when.
• 25:23
  I
• 25:23
  love
• 25:24
  it
• 25:24
  when
• 25:24
  you
• 25:24
  explain
• 25:24
  that
• 25:24
  stuff.
• 25:26
  Oh,
• 25:26
  good.
• 25:27
  I
• 25:27
  hope
• 25:27
  our
• 25:28
  listeners
• 25:28
  also
• 25:29
  love
• 25:29
  it.
• 25:29
  Me
• 25:30
  too.
• 25:33
  You
• 25:33
  can
• 25:33
  let
• 25:33
  us
• 25:34
  know
• 25:34
  if
• 25:34
  you
• 25:34
  do
• 25:34
  or
• 25:35
  if
• 25:35
  you
• 25:35
  don't,
• 25:36
  or
• 25:36
  if
• 25:37
  hearing
• 25:37
  this
• 25:38
  made
• 25:38
  you
• 25:38
  realize
• 25:39
  something
• 25:39
  about
• 25:40
  yourself
• 25:40
  or
• 25:40
  your
• 25:40
  partner.
• 25:41
  You
• 25:42
  can
• 25:42
  let
• 25:42
  us
• 25:43
  know
• 25:43
  on
• 25:43
  social
• 25:44
  media,
• 25:44
  on
• 25:45
  Instagram,
• 25:45
  Facebook,
• 25:46
  or
• 25:46
  YouTube
• 25:46
  at
• 25:47
  Getting
• 25:47
  to
• 25:47
  Good
• 25:47
  Enough.
• 25:48
  You
• 25:48
  can
• 25:49
  send
• 25:49
  us
• 25:49
  an
• 25:49
  email@gettingtogoodenoughmail.com.
• 25:54
  you
• 25:54
  can
• 25:55
  leave
• 25:55
  us
• 25:55
  a
• 25:55
  voicemail
• 25:56
  at
• 25:56
  413-424-gtge4843.
• 26:02
  But
• 26:02
  for
• 26:03
  now,
• 26:04
  I'm
• 26:04
  Shannon
• 26:04
  Wilkinson
• 26:05
  in.
• 26:05
  Portland,
• 26:06
  Oregon,
• 26:07
  and
• 26:07
  Janine
• 26:08
  Adams
• 26:08
  in
• 26:08
  St.
• 26:09
  Louis,
• 26:09
  Missouri.
• 26:10
  And
• 26:11
  we
• 26:11
  hope
• 26:11
  that
• 26:11
  Good
• 26:12
  Enough
• 26:12
  is
• 26:12
  getting
• 26:13
  easier
• 26:13
  for
• 26:14
  you.
• 26:15
  Thanks
• 26:15
  for
• 26:16
  joining
• 26:16
  us
• 26:16
  on
• 26:16
  Getting
• 26:17
  to
• 26:17
  Good
• 26:17
  Enough.
• 26:17
  We
• 26:18
  hope
• 26:18
  you
• 26:18
  heard
• 26:18
  something
• 26:19
  that
• 26:19
  makes
• 26:19
  your
• 26:19
  life
• 26:20
  just
• 26:20
  a
• 26:20
  little
• 26:20
  bit
• 26:21
  easier.
• 26:21
  If
• 26:22
  you
• 26:22
  did,
• 26:23
  leave
• 26:23
  us
• 26:23
  a
• 26:23
  review
• 26:23
  or
• 26:24
  share
• 26:24
  this
• 26:24
  with
• 26:25
  someone
• 26:25
  who's
• 26:25
  looking
• 26:25
  for
• 26:26
  their
• 26:26
  own
• 26:26
  version
• 26:27
  of
• 26:27
  Good
• 26:27
  Enough,
• 26:27
  thanks
• 26:28
  for
• 26:28
  listening.
• 26:29
  See
• 26:29
  you
• 26:29
  soon.
• 26:39
  Did
• 26:39
  you
• 26:39
  say
• 26:39
  the
• 26:39
  social
• 26:40
  media
• 26:40
  channels?
• 26:41
  I
• 26:41
  did.
• 26:42
  I'm
• 26:42
  sorry.
• 26:46
  Oh,
• 26:46
  it's
• 26:46
  fine.
• 26:51
  Don't
• 26:52
  worry
• 26:52
  about
• 26:52
  me.
• 26:53
  I'll
• 26:53
  just
• 26:53
  be
• 26:53
  over
• 26:54
  here
• 26:54
  wrapping
• 26:54
  up
• 26:55
  the
• 26:55
  podcast
• 26:56
  while
• 26:56
  you're,
• 26:56
  you
• 26:57
  know,
• 26:58
  on
• 26:58
  to
• 26:58
  your
• 26:58
  next
• 26:59
  thing.