Latest / Walking Manifestator Podcast- Aligning Mindset with Spirituality / 124: Stop Overthinking and Start Moving
Transcript
- Alexa: In this conversation, I want to talk to you girls about how to make aligned decisions without having to feel like you need to figure everything out. And this is really where we talked about this the last episode where you Actually, need to realize that the person, the woman that you're waiting on, that higher version of you, that person that has the cars, the relationship, the business, you name it, isn't actually. Something that you need to wait on. It's actually something that is waiting on you, a vibration that is waiting on you, if you will. Now, this is where if you're listening to that episode, or you know, maybe after listening to it, you thought, okay, Alexa, I understand, right? I want to become her. I understand that I need to make different decisions, but I genuinely don't know what decisions to make. Or maybe you know the options of decisions that you have, but you don't know how to narrow it down to the best ones because that might be the thing that's actually stopping you from getting to the next version. Of who you are designed to be. So, in this conversation, I'm going to give you some practical tools. I've been reading this book, The Overthinker's Guide to Making Decision by Joseph Newgan. And I highly recommend you actually read it. It has a ton of prompts that you can actually take the time to answer so that it can help you really realize how you're overthinking so many things that are keeping you in survival. That are keeping you from the goal that you really want, but I'm also going to make this quick conversation so that you can already start implementing some of the things that I've learned so far and that have also allowed me to get to the point where I'm at in my journey. And something that I want to really highlight in this conversation is when I talk to you about these mindset shifts, these perspectives and implementations that you can make. I just want to share that these are the things that are going to change your legacy forever. And I'm gonna give you an example. Today I got up, I created my own schedule, I got a new client that is approved. That right there is going to make me over $10,000 within a matter of days. And not only that, but I was able to make breakfast for my kids. I was able to do everything that I needed in order for them to really ensure that they're prepared for school. And then on top of that, I dropped them off. I stayed in the parking lot for an additional 20 minutes because my Both of my boys are going to the same school and they're having a fitness day. And it was such a blessing to be able to be there because there was a lot of parents that weren't able to be there. That I'm pretty sure wanted to be there, but weren't able to. And this is why I believe that every single one of us should want to make more than enough money. Like, not just enough money to where, like, yeah, you can buy groceries and pay your rent, but actually more than enough to the point where. you know you can afford to take these moments to really appreciate them. I won't go into too many details but one of the people that I really care about They essentially are in a part in their journey where they think that the more that they work, the more that they're going to be able to actually attract in terms of money. And this is where sometimes that can be true. You can end up making more money, but at what cost? My goal with these conversations is not for you to just make more money, is for you to still be aligned to a life that feels good. Like literally, after this conversation, I'm going to go for a spa day. I'm going to go And get my radio frequency done, and after that, I'm gonna be able to come back home, get some more work done, and then get to hang out with my kids. This is the beauty of you being able to manifest your dream life. So, the first thing I want to talk about is overthinking can become a form of self protection, and this is where a lot of the times you are. Intentionally or unintentionally procrastinating, right? Sometimes your brain is actually just trying to protect you when a decision continues to feel uncertain. Your mind starts calculating everything. So it says, Okay, but what if I fail? What if I waste money? What if I embarrass myself? What if I choose the wrong person? What if I leave and then I regret it? What if God is actually telling me no? And this is where overthinking can become dangerous, right? Because we convince ourselves that if we think long enough, eventually we'll eliminate uncertainty. And that's where we're wrong because there's always going to be a level of uncertainty. You can gather the information, you can gather all of the facts, you can seek wise counsel, you can pray, you can assist all the re the risk. But overall, eventually you reach the point where overthinking is no longer producing more clarity. It's actually producing more fear. And this is where I've shared with you guys when I purchased my first house, I was 18. And at the time, the logical world was telling me that that was a dumb decision, right? Because I was barely making enough money. I was struggling financially, but I knew that I wanted to give my son something that I hadn't experienced, right? I was moving from house to house to house to house. And before actually it being apartment, I was living in a storage room with my grandparents. So my mindset was thinking, I want to give my kids the very best that I can. At that time, I only have one kid. I want to give my kid the best that I can. But the logical world, if I would have sat down and wrote down a pros-cons list, the logical world would have told me this is a bad decision. Well, fast forward 10 years from that decision, that investment has actually become in a great source of income for me. passively that property is making me money and it takes very minimal management. I have people that go and clean it and I have people that help me with maintenance when weeds are needed, but overall it's a cash flow producing income that's coming from that property. Back then, that wasn't the case. Back then, I was actually having to sacrifice myself to make the mortgage. And this is where I share these stories because I want you to just ask yourself, is there actually information that you're missing? Or are you looking for certainty in something that doesn't exist? Like at that time, the certainty didn't exist. At that time, no matter how much I tried to prove that the decision I was going to make was a smart decision, everything on paper was telling me otherwise. Now, two, we really need to get out of our head. And this is something that personally, like I'm sharing with you that is Really, it can be hard for us, especially in the world that we live in where we're constantly thinking with our head, we're not necessarily thinking with our heart. And the first thing that I want to share with you is and it talks about it in the book, and actually some of my other teachers have taught me the same thing. You want to get to a point where you just take some deep breaths. And in the book it talks about taking five deep breaths. I would go even as far as to saying do ten, twenty, because When you take a deep breath in and exhale, crazy enough, it allows you to realize that you're not in survival. It allows your body to recognize that there is no tiger chasing you, that you are okay, and it allows you to ground yourself. Now, this is where really when you're mentally again overthinking everything. When you are thinking like, okay, this is where Can improve this is where you know I can start the business, I can eat healthier, I can pray more, I can be a better mom, I whatever it is for you. And when everything feels equally as important, nothing is receiving your complete attention. So when you actually understand that we need to ground and mentally release what we're tying to that outcome, we understand that we're in our head and we're not in our body, we're not in our heart. So it's actually any decision you make out of the mindset out of survival is going to end up being something that you're going to look back at and said, say, I regret that. Could have done something differently. I could have chosen something differently, but because you were in survival in that moment, you didn't think of all the options. And this is where I've shared with you guys in the past. When I purchased one of my first courses in real estate, it cost me $25,000. And at that time, I could have been in survival. I could have said, you know what, this is a stupid decision. I shouldn't do it. It's gonna cost me more money. I don't know if I'm gonna get a guarantee. And realistically, that decision ended up 10 axing for me, and crazy enough, every time it happens because it's about extending your container, right? Like you need to grow in order for you to be able to say, Okay, I can hold this. It's like a muscle, right? Muscle tissue. Whenever you're actually stretching it out, it creates a tear, and that allows for muscle to grow. Same thing when it comes to your mindset, when it comes to what you're currently seeing in your reality. So, for me, for example, every time I'm going to a next Like right now, I have a new thing that I'm looking to invest in. And I'll be honest with you, like it scares me sometimes. Even though I know I have the money, my mindset, again, my mind is telling me, wait, we shouldn't do it. My heart though is telling me you need to do it. You know that every single time that you invest in yourself, There's an energy that happens, okay? And Kabbala teaches a lot about this. I know that there's different perspectives about Kabbalah, and some of the Christians say that this is something that you shouldn't be really like practicing. I believe that genuinely, like this is my belief, and adopt it if it it serves you, leave it if it doesn't. But I truly believe that Jesus came to teach us how to manifest. And there is so much information that the scriptures actually confirm that we are designed to be made in God's image and that there's automations that have happened to the universe that what we put out is what we're going to get back. So Kabbalah has a really great way of Explaining these things. And something that I've come to realize is that yes, if your vessel is too small, if your vessel is too restricted, it won't be able to hold the blessing that God's trying to give you. So we need to learn how to release what we believe we should be doing. Understand that there is another version of us where even if it doesn't turn out to be the outcome you want it, is there something you learned? And if there is, that's great because we're here to learn. And the last thing I want to leave you with here is every single time that you invest in yourself, which is why I'm so passionate about investing in myself and finding coaches that are doing the work, that are doing things that I continue to look up to. When you invest in yourself, there's an energy that happens where you're signaling to the universe, I'm ready for more. And without a shadow of a doubt, and I actually I'm laughing right now because there's something right now, like I said, that I'm thinking about investing in, and there's another deal that is at the end that I know for a fact that once I invest in this, it it always happens. This other opportunity is going to open up because it's like God says, Okay, you trust it, here you go. Let me take care of you. And this happened to me one time. There was this core. That I purchased, I was looking to launch my book, and long story short, I'm not even kidding, within like a week of investing in that course, I remember. That money came to my bank account. I don't know what happened up to this day. I can't tell you what happened, but the exact amount that I invested into this course, I ended up seeing in my account. I don't know if it hit from one of my dividend accounts. I didn't like at that time I wasn't really managing my money the best way. Like I'll be honest with you, if I would receive money, I was like, yay, abundance. But I just know that that money hit my account and I was like, my gosh, like my vessel expanded to be able to receive that blessing. Now, the third thing I want to go into is separate what you can control from what you can't control. Now, this is where I want you to just like create two lists. The first one is what are the things that you can control? Okay, well, your effort. Every single day the effort you're putting in, the discipline, the preparation, right? The boundaries that you have, the habits that you have, the conversations that you're having with certain people, the environment that you're choosing to put yourself around, whether you're actually deciding to show up or not. Those are all things that you can control. Okay. Now let's also put this list of what you can't control. Well, you can control how someone's going to treat you. Control how someone is going to think about you. You can control when the opportunity is going to arrive. You can control whether someone is going to understand you or not or like you or not. You can control the way that someone is going to think about you. You can control when God is going to answer your prayer. Those are things you can control. This is where surrendering begins. And in Proverbs 16, 9, it tells us: in their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Basically, that means that you can plan all you want, my love. But ultimately, the plan is going to be executed the way that you're meant to have that plan execute for you because that's what's going to teach you something. And once you can understand that, you realize like, okay, I haven't found my ideal partner for a reason. I still have to keep working on myself because guess what? My ideal partner is also working on themselves. And I just had the beautiful the most beautiful testimony from one of my students. I coached her through some stuff. And I've shared with her about energy, I've shared with her about different things that she could do to surrender, her self-worth. Like I've shared so many things with her. And I'm so proud of her because the other day we were having a conversation and she tells me she's like, I manifested my dream man. And I was so proud of her because everything that she had been asking for and everything she's been working on herself for. This person is her ideal person. Like everything that she wants in a man, and again, we're all different, right? So just because she wants something in a man doesn't mean that you're wrong for what you want in a man. Okay. So I want to preface that because sometimes you'll say, like, I I've seen it with like the community of people that they're like, well, why is it that that person has a man and I'm not able to have a man? Maybe it just doesn't work for me. No, maybe your standards of what you want in a man aren't the same as what somebody else wants in a man. So maybe there's more of that type of person that is. Going to fulfill that type of need, there's nothing wrong with it. Absolutely nothing wrong with it. So when we were talking about it, she realized she's like, I can't believe that I just stopped looking for it. I gave myself the opportunity to date. I gave myself the opportunity to experience life. She listened to her intuition. Like she the her story is beautiful. I'm not gonna share it out of confidentiality for her, but The way that it happened, it was a magical experience. And she ended up starting to talk to this person. All of a sudden, this person is like, hey, like I really want to try and get this to the next level. Like I want to keep knowing you. They took the initiative to do the next things. And I just thought that was so beautiful because again, she stopped trying to make every perfect decision and she just said, I'm going to continue to work on me. Like I'm going to continue to be the best version of me that I can be. And things are going to work the way that they're designed to work when they're designed to work. The last thing that I want to leave you with is learn the difference between fear and discernment. You see, fear is always going to try and protect us because again, it believes that there's something that is wrong on the other side of that equation, right? You have a bad feeling. Okay, but why? Well, we want to go deeper. Fear right tends to say something along the lines of what if this happens? What if this person leaves me? What if this person doesn't buy? What if this person doesn't hire me? Right now, when we when we actually catastroph catastrophize everything, right? We're basically feeling that anything that we do could be catastrophic. Anything that we do can basically be the end of us. What we want to actually do is play that out to the very end. Like, okay, I buy this house. What could happen? Okay, well I'm not able to pay it. What would happen if I can't pay it? Well, I could try and rent it out. Okay, what if nobody rents it out? Okay, well I could go ahead and try and sell it. Okay, what if nobody wants to sell it? nobody wants to buy it. Okay, well it would go under foreclosure. Okay, what would happen then? Then I would end up having to basically lose my house. Okay, but what happened then? My credit would be bad. Okay, what would happen then? Well and and typically, okay, what we say in our mind is I would die. Like this is so embarrassing, everybody would think the worst of me. And realistically what would happen is that you would have been a foreclosure, you would have back credit for about seven years and then you can start all over again, right? But in our mind we We tend to go for the worst outcome. And discernment, I made a whole video talking about discernment, so check it out. But essentially, discernment is you trusting your intuition, you trusting your connection with God, and knowing that no matter what happens, no matter if the decision you make is the best one for you at the time or not, there is an energy that is always there to have your back. Like my kids, for example, they can mess up and I'm always gonna be there. Like I'm always going to be there. It's the same type of faith that you need to have when it comes to God. No matter what I do, no matter how I behave, no matter what happens, I know God has my back. Now my job is to put myself in as minimal experiences that can cause me stress, it can cause me drama, they can cause me issues. But overall, if that does happen, I know that God has my back. And that is such a game changer to have as your mindset because then you're not walking around with fear. You're walking around knowing that no matter what happens, you're okay. Now I'm gonna give you three questions that I want you to just use as a filtering mechanism for you to know if you're making a decision based off your integrity, your values, your boundaries, or if it's just made out of fear. So the first question is, is this aligned with my values? So this really is something you want to pay attention to because is it honoring who I am, my values, or is it dishonoring the values that I have? Number two, is this moving me toward expansion or is it keeping me comfortable? Because if it's keeping you comfortable, you know you're not growing there. And there's nothing wrong with it. If that's what you want, hey, that's your life. But for me at least, like I get bored and I need novelty. And when I'm in a situation where I'm just constantly comfortable, that actually makes me feel like I'm not growing. And one of the biggest regrets that I want to avoid having on my dying bed is looking back and saying, I should have done it. I should have gone for it. And I think that that's a very powerful statement to have. Like is it going toward expansion or is it keeping me comfortable? And there's an exercise that I talked about on the last conversation, write a eulogy. Write a eulogy of things that you would want people to say about you in your dying bed. And if your life is in alignment with what you would want people to say of you in your dying bed, you're on a great path. But if it's not, let's do some self-correction. And the last thing is, what is the smallest action I can take to create more opportunities? So when we actually do this, this allows us to be in a situation where it's like, okay, what's one small thing that I can take right now that's going to get me to that closer to that opportunity that I want. So let's say you want to start making YouTube videos. Okay. You're thinking in your mind, I need to get the camera, I need to get the lighting, I need to have a nice background, I need to whatever it is for you. No, like just pull out the camera and start recording. And I promise you at the beginning, like people are Are not going to care like as much as you feel like they do. Now, as you're growing, if you want to provide better service and better quality and all this other stuff, of course, now you can take another action step toward, okay, I want to invest in a better background, I want to invest in a better camera, I want to whatever it is for you. But this is a way that you can start taking aligned action. And this is really where it's critical because you don't always need to decide your future. You need to decide your next step. Okay? Just take one step. Do you want to start a business? Okay, don't immediately quit your job. Let's test your offer. Let's see how valid is it. Let's see what demand that offer actually have. Right? Maybe you're wanting to change careers. Okay, talk to three people that have already done it, or start watching videos of people that have already done it, that have gone into the industry that you're trying to go into or the business that you want to go into and see what is the first step that you can take and start working. After your nine to five, work from five to nine. And I get it, trust me, I have my days full. My afternoons are completely just gone throughout the week because I have my two boys, one of them plays basketball, one of them plays soccer, and then the other one does strength training classes. So Monday through Thursday, my afternoons are non-existent. Saturdays, my days also get caught up with games. So I know that it can feel overwhelming, but I promise you, once you create a schedule, it allows you to feel like, you know what, I have time. Like I can make time. And this is where really you can start seeing that everything can change in your life. In the next conversation, I'm going to be creating a 24-hour aligned. challenge so that's something you're interested in definitely come back because that's gonna be an interesting conversation but again if there's anything that I can leave you with today is just remember that you have the ability to manifest anything you want like you truly do and of course I'm not talking about flying okay for the people that are just like negative Nancy's and want to always focus on the fact that like there's no way like There really is a way. You just have to be willing to see, okay, how can I improve? How can I become that version of myself? Write it down, get crystal clear, and get to work. So if nobody's told you this, you are loved, you are worthy, and you can absolutely manifest anything you want. I'll talk to you on the next one.