Latest / Delulu with Ryan Lu / Ella Collier on Her Debut Album DANGEROUS & Chasing Pop Stardom | Delulu with Ryan Lu #310

Transcript

Ella Collier on Her Debut Album DANGEROUS & Chasing Pop Stardom | Delulu with Ryan Lu #310 · Delulu with Ryan Lu

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  I've had to ask myself at times like, hey, like, is this a
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  distraction from something that I'm scared of in myself?
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  Like facing myself and like facing discomfort and facing
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  uncertainty. Like keeping yourself busy.
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  I just feel like no one takes me seriously as an artist.
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  This is something I'm really passionate about.
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  And like even outside of being an artist, I have been
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  songwriting for a decade now and it's just so hard to prove it to
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  people. Not prove it that I've done it
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  'cause I obviously prove that, but it's just like to be taken
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  seriously. Hello Dangerous Lulus and
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  welcome back to the Lulu. I am so fucking excited because
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  today's guest D bestie is actual bestie, rising pop star Dark
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  Siren Miss Ella Collier herself. Hi, I love you.
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  Wait. Oh fuck, I forgot I had to get
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  an intro for you ready. OK, OK, OK.
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  Girl, girl, girl. Lulu, so sweet.
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  That was such a fun intro. You're so creative.
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  Well, Oh my God, I was like, what's a trademark Ella call
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  here? I was like girl.
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  Wait dude like Dark Siren is so kind.
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  Because that's kind of like where we're at right now, you
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  know? And I love sirens.
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  I love siren energy. Me too.
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  Me too. That's kind of what I want to
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  emulate. Maybe not right now, but like in
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  general, you know? You have that.
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  I do. It's always with you.
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  You got it. Yeah, you bring it out of me
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  too. I mean, you bring it out of me.
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  Oh my God, I love. You, I love you too.
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  Dangerous to Lulus is awesome. Dangerous Lulus.
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  Dangerous Lulus. Dangerous Lulus.
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  Hi, dangerous Lulus. Besties, I need to tell you guys
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  a story of how Ellie and Ella and I met.
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  Okay, so we actually met right here on set and she came for a
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  session at the recording studio here and I, I had, I did not
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  know her at all, did not even know her.
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  Ironically, we have the same publicist and she was pitched to
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  the show and I guess I just didn't clock it.
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  She comes to set, she's in the parking lot by herself and I
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  literally see her and I'm like, is she lost like she was?
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  Smoking a cigarette. She was smoking a cigarette and
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  she was like very comfy dressed. I was not with us.
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  I thought she was, I thought she was a rando who wandered onto
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  set. And I was like, I guess I'll
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  handle this. I like slowly approached her and
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  I was like, hi, are you lost? And then you were like, you were
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  like, I think it was a session, you really did.
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  And I was like, oh OK, got it, got it, got it.
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  And then kind of soul mates immediately.
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  Soul mates immediately 'cause like I came in with my chaotic
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  energy, honestly. You were chaotic, yeah.
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  That's why you liked me. That's why I liked you and
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  immediately I was like, you need to come on the show.
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  I know. Oh my God, 'cause and.
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  I was like, funny that you say that.
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  And then we find out that Charlie's Republic, yes, it's
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  like, wait, what the fuck it was?
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  So fun, and I also knew who you were, obviously.
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  Did you know when I approached you?
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  I feel like I was like, wait, I feel like I kind of recognize
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  this figure because everybody knows back in the COVID days
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  during the spiritual uprising of TikTok where everyone was
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  looking for the yes, obviously looking for their twin flames.
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  I found all of your videos and I was like, I'm, I was being
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  crazy. I'm so grateful you did.
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  You kept the lights on so. I kept the lights on.
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  I DM D you. When was it like 2020?
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  21/20/21 you TM D me but guys I didn't want to say I know she
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  sent me a cute little voice message I didn't see it I didn't
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  see it I didn't see it I see it now I.
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  Know, and I can't unsend it. She.
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  She. Literally was like I'm
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  manifesting we become friends and we're friends now.
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  Come on guys, lock in, lock in. Lock actually and lock.
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  In don't Lulu. I mean, come on, the fact that I
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  am on your show and like, we're actually friends is kind of
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  crazy. No, it's insane because then I
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  remember when we were walking into the studio, you were like,
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  I was like, oh, let me follow you and I look you up and it was
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  like follow back. And I was like, oh.
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  Sometimes I'll hit the like unfollowing.
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  I don't give, I don't care. It's like I authentically love
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  people and I authentically love you.
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  And if you took some time to catch up?
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  But we're here now. But we're here now, and we're
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  gonna get into, we're gonna talk about a little bit.
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  Thanks. For having me.
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  Thank you so much for being here.
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  I'm so excited. Especially I'm excited to talk
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  about your debut album and just working with you as an artist
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  and just being your friend and being around you and seeing
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  everything you do. I'm so fucking proud of you.
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  Can we just have a moment? I'm so proud of you.
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  I love. You.
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  Pop star. Are you kidding me?
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  Pop star down. Thank.
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  You. You were killing it and you're
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  so organized, and then you also take time for your soul and
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  like, that's something you really encourage for me.
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  And that's something we're going to encourage for everyone.
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  Just to let's have a moment. Let's just breathe for a second.
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  Girl, I needed that so bad. I'm so overwhelmed.
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  Was that good? I really felt like my nervous
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  system just reset. How did you do it so fast?
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  Usually takes me 3 breaths. Really.
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  Because I rush everything. I know you do.
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  Yeah. I that was going to.
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  Say. Talk very fast, talk a lot, have
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  everything going really quickly. Well, it's because I have so
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  many thoughts and I have to get them out, and if I don't, I'm
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  going to forget. I get it.
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  I get it. And thank you for saying you're
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  proud of me. It's it's a crazy trip.
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  Well, I am proud of you and you're also an independent
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  artist and like honestly, the quality of your music, the
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  vision that you have, everything you do in your output, it's just
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  like it gives like major label, it gives like funding, it gives
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  like big, it gives very real. So like I am proud of you and
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  you work so hard. You're so booked.
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  It's like, it's like you're like flirting with me and like
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  Capricorn language, you're like. Wait, you're like so hard
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  working. Booked and like you're booked
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  like really hard. And you're like, you're like a
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  businesswoman. And you like have leather pants
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  and like a sole like that's like, I'm like, are you like
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  talking dirty to me in Capricorn language?
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  Wait, do you like it? I love it.
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  OK, Thank you. That's very kind.
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  That actually is how I like my biggest.
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  My favorite compliment is when people are like, you're hard
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  working. I'm like thank.
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  You. Me too.
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  Yeah, it's one. Of my favorite compliments, I
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  will say wait. You're a Capricorn.
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  Yes. OK.
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  Clock. Oh, yeah.
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  You had a birthday. Yeah, that's right Before our
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  other session. Yes, I remember we talked about
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  it. I'm a Virgo.
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  So, like, we're already we're right there.
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  Grounded period. Exactly.
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  And. Charlie's a Taurus.
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  Oh, wait, no, he's not. He's a Pisces.
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  Oh, he's an Aquarius. He just had a birthday.
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  You were there. Yeah, I said.
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  He's not Charlie's birthday. Yeah, Charlie's the best.
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  Love you. Charlie's doing emails in the
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  back. Love you Charlie, as he should.
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  Literally as you should. Period.
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  OK Ella, we are best. The honors of course, but I want
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  to get into the Ella Lord lore. So Ella Lore.
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  Tell us where it all began for you on your journey of becoming
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  a pop star. You're so kind.
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  Give it to us. I definitely always wanted to be
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  famous. Let's start there.
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  Really. That's such a great sentence to
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  say. Like that's a really bold
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  statement. I know my parents banned the
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  word famous from the house. No way I told you the song
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  concept. I wanted to fuck you on famous.
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  Yeah, that's right. That's why I love it.
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  We should do it. I would love to do.
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  That we're doing it. I want something camp and con,
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  OK? Period.
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  So you. Wanted to be famous always.
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  I think more it was like the idea of being able to like
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  perform on stage and my parents banned the word, which I'm
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  thankful for because like they were more locked in on what's
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  the purpose of what you're doing right?
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  And so when I was a kid, I would like listen to Hannah Montana I.
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  Was going to say, well you're like a Hannah Montana girl.
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  Obviously, like she was my first, Yeah, she was my first
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  and I literally she is. The pop *.
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  I love her. I'm 20th year anniversary, thank
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  God. But yeah, I mean, my first
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  concert was Miley Cyrus, and I practice in my basement
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  pretending I was walking on the runway performing.
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  And then I saw Taylor Swift on the Ellen Show with Zac Efron
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  playing Pumped Up Kicks when they were promoting The Lorax.
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  Thank God. And I pulled out my guitar.
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  Yeah, I love them guitar. And I pulled out the guitar.
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  And I wrote my first song when I was 11.
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  Really. Do you remember what it was?
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  Yeah, it was called for you. Oh.
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  Was it like? Just for a crush I had.
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  Cute, Was it good? Yeah, it was good.
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  I mean, you know what, actually, not to flex.
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  Not to flex, Yes I was the only 6th grader that got added to the
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  talent show so. Well, there's a reason for that.
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  That's sweet. It was a good it was a good
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  song. Thank you.
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  But that's. Where it started.
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  And I also did like musical theater and I just always loved
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  performing. And so.
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  Yeah, yeah, I'm from Georgia. So I that's all that there was
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  there. You know, it's like musical
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  theater, choir and then playing guitar.
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  So that's that's how I started. Did you always know you were
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  going to come out to LA? Yeah, I mean, I think deep
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  inside I knew that I wanted to be here, but like New York was
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  also really enticing to me as well.
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  I just like any city that has. The creative energy Clock clock
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  because that's exactly how I feel.
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  I lived in New York and I'm in LA now, and that's the exact
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  same reason. I just wanted that creative
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  energy around me. And like, it's inspiring.
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  It's because you're motivated to keep.
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  Working it's literally life changing like, and I say this to
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  anyone listening I know Lai know New York is expensive.
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  I mean even Nashville is like a good energy in like Austin, TX,
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  like a place where you can feel free to roam and like speak to
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  people and just like show up somewhere and like get
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  inspiration. I I don't know, it's just
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  there's so much access here to to beauty and to connection that
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  changed my life. Like, I love Los Angeles.
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  Yeah. Creative People was so inspiring
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  too. It really is.
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  It really keeps you pushing. Just like, I need that energy
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  myself. Just cause like, I was just
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  talking about it with Brett and I was complaining.
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  I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm so tired.
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  And then I was like, you know, my team has me doing XYZ and he
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  was like, it's 'cause you just want to create, but you have to
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  do all this other stuff and you're getting like really burnt
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  out. For me I was like, yes, 'cause I
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  love. I just want to create right now.
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  Like I'm in create mode. So that's actually why I got on
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  you about you did taking care of your soul and stuff, because for
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  me, like creative energy is the same energy as like downloads
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  from God, universe, clouds, whatever you want to say, like
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  right, you have to have that sort of tether.
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  You have to nurture that tether between you and like the
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  consciousness of creativity or of humanity.
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  So if you're not nurturing that, it's hard to access creativity,
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  at least in my experience. So that's why I push you so hard
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  to like take some time for your soul and like do that because
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  like if you want to be the best creator you can be like that's
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  where I found. Yeah, I find balance, really.
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  Yeah, absolutely. That's life though, so.
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  Where are you finding your balance because like you do so
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  much, like, you know, we all need to follow you on Instagram.
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  Everyone follow Ella on Instagram, period, and you can
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  keep up. You can keep up too.
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  But you were doing something every day.
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  You're doing so many sessions. You finished your debut album.
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  We're going to get into that. You pretty much finished your
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  second album. We'll probably slightly get into
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  that. Then you were telling me before
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  the show that you're probably going to.
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  Start your third. Before the debut is even out.
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  Girl, you're busy. Thank you.
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  Where are you finding your balance?
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  Well, First off, like I love writing songs.
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  Like I just, that is my soul. Like songwriting is the
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  beginning of it all for me. Aside from interviews, aside
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  from photos, aside from being on stage, I like to write songs and
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  I have to write songs. It's literally how I am, how I
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  find my balance. I'm very blessed to be 3 1/2
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  years sober. And I think like the program
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  that I work, I work a 12 step program and that has been really
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  helpful in me finding my balance because it's all focused on
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  finding something higher than yourself that's not human to
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  kind of motivate you and like fill your soul.
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  And so I do a lot of meditation, I do a lot of prayer and I'm
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  very active and I do, I'm in a phase right now where I was
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  really burnt out and I felt myself not feeling a lot of joy,
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  I think. And that's like an alarm for me
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  because why am I being ungrateful?
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  Why am I, why am I in this lack mindset?
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  So I really had to take a second and I like, I had therapy this
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  morning, you know, like I have tools and I have people in my
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  life that keep me. They're like my coaches.
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  They keep me grounded and they keep me safe.
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  And so that's kind of how I find my balance.
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  And then also like really intentionally setting aside time
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  with whether it's partners or friends to be like, this is
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  friend time. This is fun time.
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  Let's just. Be boundary, right?
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  Exactly, 'cause then honestly, especially in this industry and
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  being friends with like people who are creative, like things
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  could bleed through and then if everything becomes work all the
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  time, that becomes very draining.
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  Too. I mean, we're.
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  Speaking from experience right now, 'cause like everything has
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  worked for me, like even for me, it's like I can't even see if I
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  see my friends or if I see like anyone.
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  It's like it has to be while I'm working cause like I'm working
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  all the time, you know, and. It's also like not me getting
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  all deep and Meadow with this, but it like there is like an ego
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  element to this, right? Like ego, the more you're
• 12:03
  working, the more you're like, I'm doing this and I'm working
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  all the time. Like makes you feel confident in
• 12:06
  the fact that you're doing it and like the movement.
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  And like, I've had to ask myself at times, like, hey, like, is
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  this a distraction from something that I'm scared of in
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  myself, like facing myself and like facing discomfort and
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  facing uncertainty? Like keeping.
• 12:18
  Yourself busy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  Oh my God. That's like one of my biggest
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  things that I do. Oh shit.
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  You know, so it's like there's benefits to it, but like also I
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  want to be present in my life. Like there's been times where I
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  like literally feel like I'm like speeding through on the
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  highway and then I end up at the destination whether that's at
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  the end of the night or it's like been a week and I'm like
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  where have I been all week? Like I'm literally like, I'm not
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  here and like, that's scary. God, you were literally like
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  opening my eyes right now because like genuinely like I've
• 12:44
  last night I got home so late and then I was like, I need a
• 12:48
  journal about my week because I don't want to forget this week.
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  I mean, I pulled up my journal and I was like, I don't even
• 12:53
  remember. I was like, I know I had
• 12:54
  sessions every day. I was like, OK, what did I even
• 12:56
  do in those sessions? I was like, OK, and how did the
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  song come about? I'm like, oh, this sucks.
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  I hate this feeling of like not even being over counting because
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  it's exactly that. It's just like, I'm going,
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  going, going. And I'm like, now I'm
• 13:04
  overwhelmed and I don't even remember.
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  Now I'm at this destination where I'm like, wait, how did I
• 13:08
  even get here? So that's crazy, 'cause I wanna
• 13:09
  be more intentional. I'm gonna be guys on camera.
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  I'm gonna be intentional right now.
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  This is where we are. This is where we're at.
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  I'm talking to you. We're having a good time.
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  We're connecting. This is nice.
• 13:20
  Yeah. And also like things are being
• 13:21
  so vulnerable. I mean, like this is life, man.
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  Like we go into like capitalism and talk about the state of the
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  world and all that. Like this is what they want us
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  to be like. This is what they want us to be
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  programmed like to be scared to be, to be like clawing, to be
• 13:35
  upset, like to be stuck to our phones and like if you know how
• 13:38
  to, how to step in and out of that.
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  But that's this is going to be forever.
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  Like we're going to have to continue to like find practices
• 13:44
  that work for us and fall out of it and fall back in.
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  And like that's OK. But my goal for you as your
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  friend and for myself too, is like living our life.
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  How do we live? And it's really a journey too,
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  like getting there and like exactly what you said, finding
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  practices and like knowing what resonates with you and also not
• 13:59
  being too hard on yourself and you can't be consistent with it
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  because life is life. Life is so life and also like we
• 14:04
  are not robots. Not robots, you know yes,
• 14:07
  absolutely like honestly, I want to be more mindful about that
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  too, because like and then you know what it's always like, oh,
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  what's next? What do I have to do after this?
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  I'm like, so busy, and it's just like, that can be so mentally
• 14:16
  draining. Yeah, it can be on like that all
• 14:18
  the time. You know what I mean?
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  Like, yeah, I think it's good because you're really, really
• 14:22
  emotionally mature. And you're also in a play.
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  I told you this last night. We were in a session.
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  I was like, damn, you're really emotionally mature.
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  You are. But it's just like, I think also
• 14:30
  like being on all the time. It's like you're going to crash,
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  you know? Well, I also had to learn that
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  too is like not being performative, like I'm showing
• 14:38
  up here as me and like, yes, there may be more elevation.
• 14:40
  Like I may have fake lashes on and I might be like, well,
• 14:43
  that's like me. That is you.
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  You know what I mean? And like I'm I'm I only come to
• 14:48
  this place and say these things. We come to this place fucking
• 14:51
  Nicole Kinman all but like I because I was so sad.
• 14:57
  All these things come from like hitting a wall.
• 15:00
  I'm feeling burnt out and sad. So I have to do something well.
• 15:02
  How do you feel now? I feel, I mean, I have anxiety.
• 15:08
  Oh no, that's OK. That's normal though I have
• 15:10
  anxiety. Yeah, I'm anxiety right now.
• 15:11
  Welcome. Like, so we like find ways to,
• 15:15
  you know, find that joy. But I am doing good but I didn't
• 15:17
  intentionally recently be like OK I need to slow down a little
• 15:21
  bit. Yeah, you were telling me about
• 15:22
  that boundary you set for yourself and I I think that's
• 15:24
  kind of what I'm trying to do too.
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  I was just notified. I probably won't get a break
• 15:29
  till May, but. I know right before this, right
• 15:31
  before this, you can give yourself many breaks through the
• 15:33
  day. That's what I do.
• 15:34
  That's a good. Idea 5 to 15.
• 15:36
  Yeah, 'cause actually when I was driving here, I was just like, I
• 15:38
  just strove in silence and I was like.
• 15:41
  That's great. This is nice right now, so nice
• 15:43
  'cause usually I'm like on a call or I'm in a meeting or I'm
• 15:45
  like dealing with something or I'm like listening to a mix and
• 15:47
  I'm like, you know, and I was just like, I'm just gonna drive
• 15:50
  'cause I just need a minute to myself right now and then we're
• 15:52
  gonna do this, you know? But this is nice too 'cause I
• 15:54
  feel like technically both of us are working right now.
• 15:57
  But like, this is nice and healing and it's also like us
• 15:59
  connecting, like genuinely. So I'm like.
• 16:01
  And you bring yourself into it. It doesn't feel like work. 100%
• 16:03
  I'm really grateful for that, especially just like especially
• 16:05
  because like coming from us being friends and it doesn't
• 16:10
  feel like we're doing this we. Are doing this.
• 16:12
  I know I'm having fun. Yeah, me too.
• 16:14
  And we just. Started this little teddy bear
• 16:16
  is the best part. And honestly, you're so fun.
• 16:18
  Thank you. You're so fun.
• 16:19
  Like, honestly, when I met you and you're so chaotic, I think I
• 16:22
  told Charlie I was like, Oh yeah, she needs to come on the
• 16:24
  show. She would be so fun.
• 16:26
  But you know what? Getting to know you more and
• 16:27
  like spending time with you over the past couple months, it's
• 16:29
  like you're so deep and you're so intentional and you're like,
• 16:32
  there's so much more than just like, being fun and chaotic,
• 16:34
  etcetera. Right, right.
• 16:35
  Well, I wanna get back to you, Lori.
• 16:36
  You're originally from Atlanta. So how did you end up coming to
• 16:39
  LA? Like, when did you move out to
• 16:40
  LA? What was the plan?
• 16:41
  What happened there? So I moved to LA in 2018.
• 16:46
  I went to USC. Fight on.
• 16:48
  Fight on. At TFO I loved USCI, went to
• 16:51
  music school there. I literally went to like pop
• 16:53
  music school. Love them Oh my God.
• 16:55
  Posture training. I love, I love it.
• 16:57
  I want to go back one day and like teach or just give some
• 17:02
  sort of energy speak or like do a.
• 17:03
  Guest. Thing 'cause they give me, they
• 17:05
  give me so much like meeting so many friends there.
• 17:07
  Yeah, I saw your teachers when I saw your show at.
• 17:10
  Oh yeah. What show was that?
• 17:11
  The Mint. The mints, Right.
• 17:12
  That was the. First time out.
• 17:13
  Yeah, that was so sweet. Yeah, I didn't know you went to
• 17:14
  school there, but like you mentioned it, when on stage, I
• 17:16
  was like, oh clock. They're the best like, but you
• 17:19
  know, I always, I was one of those people that like didn't
• 17:21
  want to go to college. And you know, I don't, I'm not
• 17:25
  sitting here being like, you should go to college or you
• 17:27
  shouldn't, like do whatever you want, do whatever your dream is.
• 17:29
  Like, I wanted to be famous by 18.
• 17:31
  And we're still working on that dream girl, you know, and like I
• 17:34
  learned about the USC program and they were really encouraging
• 17:38
  the school itself, like for me to come out.
• 17:40
  And so I did it and it changed my life.
• 17:43
  That's amazing you just stayed in LA.
• 17:44
  Yeah, After, I mean, like, honestly, everybody knows this.
• 17:47
  Like, yeah, post grad, no one talks about post grad, but it's
• 17:49
  like kind of the worst. Like it sucks.
• 17:52
  And like I when I first graduated, I kind of like was
• 17:55
  hit with like I got sober at the same time and then made my first
• 17:59
  project and I did a lot of music and like TV and film and that's
• 18:02
  kind of how I like got to stay in Lai didn't know that.
• 18:05
  Yeah. So that's how I could like
• 18:06
  afford to like be here, you know what I mean?
• 18:08
  Got it. Yeah, yeah, you're so you were
• 18:09
  working, Yeah. Got it.
• 18:11
  I'm working late. 'Cause she's a singer.
• 18:14
  Period. Sabrina been working too for a
• 18:16
  long time for. 10 years and she and Chapel, like they're for me.
• 18:19
  I'm like, yeah, it takes 10 years to be an overnight
• 18:21
  success, and that's OK. That's OK.
• 18:23
  Zara Larsson's having her moment now.
• 18:24
  She's debuted in 2016. She's the best.
• 18:27
  She is the best. Like, you know.
• 18:28
  Gotta feel like right bro. Charlie XCX.
• 18:30
  Great one as well. You do have to have that grin,
• 18:32
  like honestly, if you're not like if you give up too easily,
• 18:34
  that's the other price. Find a lot of people give up
• 18:36
  really quickly and then it's like, well then of course
• 18:39
  nothing's going to happen If you just stop trying.
• 18:41
  Well, it's. Like what drives you 100%?
• 18:43
  Because I think like trying empty emptily in an empty way.
• 18:46
  Yeah. How how do you continue to
• 18:48
  sustain? Like the reason why I always
• 18:49
  connect the soul and the purpose.
• 18:50
  And we talk about these things. They're all entwined.
• 18:52
  Like my motivation comes from the sole purpose of like making
• 18:56
  you feel seen and making us connect, you know?
• 18:58
  Like that's that's why we keep going.
• 19:00
  Anyways, I'm hopping off the soapbox girl.
• 19:02
  Hop back on. We're about to get into it
• 19:04
  because I feel like honestly, everything that you're saying
• 19:06
  right now really translates into your music and your lyric and
• 19:09
  your delivery and your performance.
• 19:10
  And like, even like with I want to talk about the title track
• 19:13
  dangerous. So what does dangerous mean to
• 19:16
  you? I, I just read something because
• 19:18
  you just did something and I was reading it was super profound to
• 19:20
  me. Or you're like talking about the
• 19:21
  opposite of when something's dangerous, it incites fear.
• 19:24
  Right, right. So.
• 19:25
  Can you explain that? Yes, of course.
• 19:27
  So my album's called Dangerous. The title track is called
• 19:30
  Dangerous. And if you listen to the title
• 19:32
  track, Dangerous in all caps, obviously, right.
• 19:36
  I talk about this phenomenon of the rabbit hole and I basically
• 19:39
  I'm saying I'll quote the lyrics for a SEC.
• 19:41
  I say like, I'll never let you know where I go.
• 19:43
  Sinking down the rabbit hole built the walls twice as tall.
• 19:46
  I'll be the one to break my fall.
• 19:48
  And there's this element of me having like this swagger and
• 19:50
  this being like, don't ask me what's wrong with me, but I want
• 19:53
  you to. And it's a performance of me
• 19:56
  pushing people away while I'm sinking down the spiral of
• 19:58
  anxiety. So the whole project and we
• 20:02
  talked about Dangerous is about fear because fear is still, I'm
• 20:06
  still working through that. And that might be forever.
• 20:08
  I don't know, Like fear is the core of all of my anxiety.
• 20:13
  It's also what drives me. And on the other side of that,
• 20:17
  fear and insights like adrenaline and I'm also sober
• 20:22
  alcoholic as I've mentioned. And so like I tend to grab on to
• 20:26
  extremes. I love, I love the codependency.
• 20:30
  I love and I, it's bad for me. I love what's bad for me.
• 20:33
  I love. And so I almost glamorize a lot
• 20:35
  of these defects in my brain devices.
• 20:41
  Yes, great point. It's like I almost like
• 20:43
  romanticize them in the music, but on purpose because there's a
• 20:46
  world where we celebrate the mass elements of our humanity,
• 20:52
  right? Like our humanity is extremely
• 20:54
  important. And the fact that we can feel so
• 20:55
  many emotions like should be celebrated and we should look at
• 20:59
  that. And we can also be self aware
• 21:01
  about them at the same time. So dangerous is the umbrella of
• 21:04
  all of the extremes of my emotions.
• 21:06
  And at the core of that is ego, you know?
• 21:08
  Yeah, absolutely. It's kind of complicated, but
• 21:10
  it's. Not at all.
• 21:11
  I think it's very profound because honestly, you cover a
• 21:14
  lot of dark topics or dark emotions on this project.
• 21:18
  And then also it's just like acknowledging that and then
• 21:20
  being able to articulate it because it's super relatable.
• 21:22
  And I think with the things that you acknowledge, it's the
• 21:24
  self-awareness that you bring to the music.
• 21:26
  Like, I think just as a writer to writer.
• 21:29
  Writer to writer. It is incredible about how like
• 21:31
  how you pen, how you're feeling and like.
• 21:33
  It's so relatable too. Thank you.
• 21:35
  It takes time. Absolutely.
• 21:36
  Like it's I think a lot of it's like the work.
• 21:38
  Thank you. Like a lot of that is like my
• 21:41
  work in sobriety and like really writing stuff out and also
• 21:45
  letting people in, man, like in the room.
• 21:47
  And I mean, there's stuff I've been so scared about.
• 21:50
  Like a lot of those songs were like pulling out of me, you
• 21:54
  know, like I'm in the middle of processing these things and
• 21:56
  like, I don't know, it's it's part of being an artist.
• 21:59
  That's like my job as an artist. You.
• 22:00
  Know I feel like that's the best time to write about it because
• 22:02
  for me, it's like when I'm in that emotion, when I'm in that
• 22:04
  feeling, when I'm in that situation, if I don't write
• 22:06
  about it right then and there, it's going to be hard for me to
• 22:08
  capture the feeling after the fact unless I'm writing about it
• 22:10
  from the now I'm through it. Right, Totally, 100%.
• 22:14
  I think it depends. Like I think specifically in
• 22:17
  like heartbreak, it's really hard for me to write write when
• 22:21
  it happens. Like I have to grieve it.
• 22:23
  I have to. Like process.
• 22:24
  Through and then I can kind of go back and start to piece of
• 22:27
  stuff together and also like writing it makes it more real in
• 22:29
  my brain. So it's it's a process.
• 22:32
  I mean, all of it, even if there's like little fragments of
• 22:34
  things I've written that I bring in later, like.
• 22:36
  But yeah, I think it's, it's honestly, either way, nothing's
• 22:39
  right, nothing's wrong. It's just, you know, like the
• 22:42
  process. It's.
• 22:42
  Good. Because you're really telling
• 22:43
  your story and you're telling it in a very defined way where it's
• 22:45
  like this is you and this is your writing, you know?
• 22:49
  And I also try because, you know, like, who am I right, Like
• 22:51
  people. I'm, I'm working to get more
• 22:53
  recognition as a artist because like, I do want that and I think
• 22:57
  my music is pop and I think it's exciting and I think I have
• 22:59
  something to say, but like. I think it's so fresh and I
• 23:01
  think it's so interesting. Like honestly, like I said this
• 23:04
  in the intro, but like rising pop star, but I'm like a really
• 23:06
  interesting fresh voice in pop music.
• 23:08
  And I just think also with the trends and the soundscape of pop
• 23:12
  music right now in 20262025, you bring something different and
• 23:17
  interesting. And I even with your productions
• 23:18
  in the song direction, the way that things switch up and like
• 23:21
  it's exciting as you're listening to the music.
• 23:22
  And then like I was a songwriter.
• 23:24
  So when I listen to music for the first time, I'm genuinely
• 23:27
  generally sorry. I'm generally predicting what's
• 23:29
  the next lyric, what's the next thing, what I'm expecting with
• 23:31
  like where the song's gonna go. When I listen to your music, I
• 23:34
  genuinely always like I'm gagged.
• 23:36
  Like you're surprised. I literally am like
• 23:38
  jaw-dropping. Wait, I didn't see that coming.
• 23:39
  You know what I mean? Like I think I don't do drugs as
• 23:41
  a really good example of that. It's just like there are moments
• 23:43
  where I'm just like, wait, this is like there's a lot of things
• 23:45
  that are happening and there are a lot of elements and it just
• 23:47
  makes it really like it brings us into this world of chaos, but
• 23:50
  it's also very defined in this very specific sphere, which is
• 23:53
  incredible. Like your artistry is so
• 23:55
  defined. Thank you, it took a long time.
• 23:57
  Oh my gosh. But like, look at you.
• 23:59
  Thank. You.
• 23:59
  I mean, I love sound design like I think the.
• 24:01
  You're good at it being in sessions with Ella, by the way,
• 24:04
  Like, yes, you're good at it. Like honestly, like you're
• 24:06
  really good at. Production is a huge deal to all
• 24:09
  of this as well. Absolutely, because then it sets
• 24:11
  the emotional tone too, 1,000,000%.
• 24:15
  So what is like scaring you? So you were talking about this
• 24:17
  concept. What's so scary?
• 24:19
  Yeah. What is?
• 24:19
  I mean, I'm scared. I'm scared right now.
• 24:22
  Like, what's scaring you? Like, specifically?
• 24:24
  And would you say like, sorry, this is such a separate
• 24:27
  question. That's fine.
• 24:27
  I want to know this question. Then we'll go back to the fear.
• 24:30
  But would you say this album is like the rabbit hole, right?
• 24:33
  Like we're going down the rabbit hole with you and it's going
• 24:35
  into these extremes. Oh my gosh, yeah.
• 24:38
  That's what you already just, I thought you were like asking me
• 24:40
  a question, but you just like told me the answer.
• 24:41
  So that's what it is, yeah. I mean, I love going to that
• 24:43
  journey with you too. No, thank you.
• 24:45
  And like I'll relate both of the questions, right?
• 24:48
  Like give it. I am a believer that every human
• 24:53
  has different patterns and we keep revisiting those patterns.
• 24:57
  We'll get over certain patterns and then we'll maybe revisit
• 25:01
  them. And I wouldn't say like the
• 25:03
  Dangerous album, I don't feel those things as strong now.
• 25:07
  But you know, I was working with one of my visual people the
• 25:09
  other day because they're like coming up with ideas for the end
• 25:11
  of the project. And I think what's really fun
• 25:13
  about this is like each song is almost like a character that I
• 25:16
  made myself into, whether that's being performative or whether
• 25:18
  that's someone that I felt like I had to be for something to
• 25:21
  survive it. All the songs are characters of
• 25:25
  what manifested for me to run from that fear to survive what I
• 25:29
  was going through. So to be less general, like for
• 25:31
  example, my song Fiend, right? Like that is at the core about
• 25:35
  codependency and relationships and needing something outside of
• 25:38
  myself to make me feel OK. And it's hot, it's fun, it's
• 25:42
  amazing, There's sexy vibes to it, you know, But like the real,
• 25:46
  like it's called Fiend. Like the way people fiend for
• 25:49
  nicotine, the way they look for it with their hands without
• 25:52
  knowing. Like that is a real thing that I
• 25:55
  do. I feel like addiction is such a
• 25:57
  strong motif and theme throughout your projects.
• 26:00
  Your lyric in general, like on obviously being sober and
• 26:04
  experiencing things that you experience, it really does
• 26:07
  translate into your music. Even like as openly you talk
• 26:09
  about let's say on I don't do drugs, just straight up.
• 26:12
  Yeah, and like, I don't do drugs at first.
• 26:13
  It's like hard, 'cause I'm like, do you guys get what I'm trying
• 26:15
  to say? Like, you know what I'm saying?
• 26:17
  Like I don't do drugs. I'm like, I will use everything
• 26:20
  else as a distraction since I can't do drugs, since I'm
• 26:22
  completely heartbroken. Like I'll try to find a new guy,
• 26:24
  I'll try to become really famous kind of thing you're talking
• 26:26
  about. Let me like be busy.
• 26:28
  Let me get famous so then I feel better about myself.
• 26:30
  Coming find. That can't be your crutch 'cause
• 26:32
  you don't do drugs, clock, but you're doing everything else and
• 26:34
  you're trying to distract yourself.
• 26:35
  You're going after goals, you're going harder for it.
• 26:37
  Like again, very, I hate saying this 'cause I said like 4 times,
• 26:40
  that's fine in this episode. Very profound, very profound.
• 26:43
  Like I think your lyric is profound.
• 26:45
  I think your songs are profound. Like just everything about, it's
• 26:47
  just super interesting, you know?
• 26:48
  It's all, it's the combination of experience and like of like
• 26:52
  actual human experience and like I do.
• 26:54
  That's why I it's a download for sure.
• 26:56
  Well, how long was this album process for you?
• 26:58
  Like how long did it take you to get from start to now?
• 27:01
  It's ready to go. We're putting it out.
• 27:02
  You know, some of the songs were like, started in 2021.
• 27:05
  Really like in the iteration they're in right now.
• 27:09
  No, like the writing like don't follow me.
• 27:12
  I wasn't even sober yet. I was super high when I wrote
• 27:14
  Don't follow me at the beginning.
• 27:15
  Oh my God. Clock what?
• 27:17
  Yeah, I was really high. I was like in my apartment and.
• 27:19
  Then you you like revisited it for the project.
• 27:22
  Yeah, I always loved Don't Follow Me.
• 27:23
  I thought it like Don't Follow Me.
• 27:25
  It's one of my favorites. I was just playing it on my
• 27:27
  piano and like most of the lyrics are still the same.
• 27:29
  It's so sad and dark. I know.
• 27:30
  Yeah. But the point is it's kind of
• 27:32
  similar to dangerous. It's like, don't follow me.
• 27:34
  Like I've got it, but it's like, follow me, please.
• 27:37
  I'm nervous. I'm lost.
• 27:38
  Like, I'm nervous. And like, I think at that time I
• 27:40
  was just feeling so alone and isolated and like, Animal and
• 27:44
  Don't Follow Me. Animals, like on the album, were
• 27:48
  written at the same. Time.
• 27:49
  Thank you and I love the call back.
• 27:51
  Thank you. You know, that's funny because I
• 27:54
  didn't really notice that like Animal was written before
• 27:56
  Dangerous is written. No way, because Dangerous is in
• 27:58
  the chorus. Yes, OK, Because when I was
• 28:00
  listening to it, you just sent it to me this morning.
• 28:02
  I was like, oh, and I really like the bookends of it.
• 28:04
  Because Dangerous is the second track, right?
• 28:06
  And the second track on the project and then this is the
• 28:09
  second to last track on the project.
• 28:11
  When you did your memorization, did you get some flash cards?
• 28:13
  Girl, I was ziming on here that's.
• 28:15
  A great news for Ziming on here I.
• 28:16
  Just received that this morning, but I'm I'm an active listener
• 28:19
  of pop music and especially loving you and like getting to
• 28:22
  the show and I was just listening to the lyric and
• 28:23
  everything. I was like, it's just for me as
• 28:27
  someone who's building a world and as someone who wants like
• 28:29
  cohesion, it felt like a relief to me because I was like, I feel
• 28:32
  like this feels so right and like related to each other in a
• 28:36
  book. End of everything.
• 28:37
  Thank you for fucking saying that.
• 28:39
  No, it's so it wasn't intentional.
• 28:40
  Like you said, you read it before Dangerous.
• 28:42
  You know, OK, I will be honest, like the process of creating
• 28:45
  this album like wasn't linear and it wasn't like we're making
• 28:48
  an album. Let's do the order.
• 28:50
  Like I Just Dangerous was the first song that we made
• 28:53
  intentionally for the album, but it was supposed to be like the
• 28:56
  deluxe version of my last CP. And then we were like, it's way
• 28:59
  too good. Like we need to keep writing.
• 29:00
  And so I just kept writing songs and like bringing back stuff and
• 29:04
  like Don't Follow Me had already had an iteration and I was like,
• 29:06
  I really think this should be on the album.
• 29:08
  And like, some of them are like earlier and some of them are
• 29:10
  later, like the most recent ones I've written.
• 29:13
  I mean, I don't do drugs was added to the album last minute
• 29:15
  because I literally was going through that like.
• 29:16
  Yeah, I remember you and I talked about on the curb in.
• 29:19
  Hollywood. Oh yeah.
• 29:20
  We did. We're sharing a cigarette.
• 29:21
  Yeah, obviously our little Capri moment.
• 29:23
  We don't smoke anymore, by the way.
• 29:24
  We don't. Well, no, I don't anymore.
• 29:26
  I really I extra don't anymore. You know, funny, I like kind of
• 29:29
  wanted for the visuals if I don't do drugs, like for me to
• 29:32
  be smoking a cig, but on purpose I made it like a lollipop 'cause
• 29:34
  I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, let's like really go for it.
• 29:36
  But yeah, no, I mean Stampy, I don't do drugs was an ad like
• 29:40
  towards the towards the end, 'cause I I needed to tell, I
• 29:43
  need. I was so hurt.
• 29:44
  I was just. Like I got to put it on my, I
• 29:46
  mean, it was my favorite on the project so far.
• 29:48
  And so I Tululu. Rah.
• 29:51
  Rah rah. Oh my God, Tulu.
• 29:54
  As well. So good.
• 29:55
  Not recent, like probably a year ago, but like.
• 29:58
  Very recent considering like some of the songs are really
• 30:00
  years ago. Too Yeah like so I guess I
• 30:02
  always say like in interviews and stuff like the probably the
• 30:04
  whole album process was two years but like the intentional
• 30:08
  album process was probably 2 years but yeah I mean like
• 30:10
  that's why I always tell you like keep writing songs you
• 30:12
  never know where they're going to go like you don't never know
• 30:14
  what's going to manifest because like I didn't have the rest of
• 30:17
  the stuff for Animal and don't follow me when I was doing it
• 30:19
  but then it kind of all came together you know and you have
• 30:23
  to leave room for the magic to happen It's.
• 30:25
  Like the process? Yeah.
• 30:26
  But like, yeah, this has been exhausting.
• 30:29
  I bet. Like let's be real, I literally
• 30:32
  have been dropping singles almost every single month I was.
• 30:35
  Going to say like every six weeks, like you've been really
• 30:38
  doing it and like like clockwork.
• 30:40
  I mean, but honestly, like that was a plan.
• 30:42
  I didn't just decide like this was very meticulously planned
• 30:46
  out. I decided I'm going for it.
• 30:47
  I saved money. I made a plan.
• 30:50
  I I decided like where I'm going to put more in and like things
• 30:54
  kind of still change on the fly. But like this single by single
• 30:57
  mentality from an independent artist business perspective was
• 31:00
  to grow a fan base was to give every song a chance.
• 31:05
  Like if I'm being honest with you and it like I was like, I
• 31:08
  need no one's knows who I am. Like I'm not going to just drop
• 31:10
  an album like let's do this right.
• 31:12
  And then the other opportunity that I was like, I think all of
• 31:15
  these songs are great and I want to give them each their moment
• 31:17
  and get different fans a moment to come and meet me because
• 31:21
  people come on on different songs.
• 31:22
  I didn't think Sleepwalking was going to do that great.
• 31:25
  And like some of them were like originally like Ice Queen was
• 31:28
  for Ava Max. Like I literally like wrote that
• 31:31
  for Ava Max and she didn't take it and we thought it was too
• 31:34
  good and so we put it on the album.
• 31:35
  Like there's like things where it's like, oh, this could have
• 31:37
  been for someone else. Do you feel?
• 31:38
  Like you're late to Ice Queen then or Yeah, OK, so.
• 31:40
  We added an outro that we changed some of the lyrics a
• 31:43
  little bit. But like Ice Queen is a
• 31:45
  manifestation of like the person I have to become because I feel
• 31:48
  rejected. I feel scared.
• 31:49
  And so I become a cold kind of biting person.
• 31:52
  And at the end of the song, there's an outro and we say, oh,
• 31:56
  and I see every time that I'm standing up when I speak or I've
• 31:59
  got a bite to my manner and my eyes freeze when no man can
• 32:03
  understand me or when I'm mean. I feel her looking at me in the
• 32:06
  mirror like an ice queen. So we cannot tie it all back
• 32:08
  together. Yeah, absolutely.
• 32:11
  What a what a crazy. Gotta find out.
• 32:13
  I mean, all of the album, though, is exactly that.
• 32:15
  Like it's just like this. You're holding a mirror up to
• 32:17
  yourself. And then also it's just like
• 32:19
  you're digging deep into the parts of yourself.
• 32:20
  Yeah, people don't even want to talk about.
• 32:21
  People don't want to acknowledge.
• 32:22
  Like for me, like I think when I'm writing, it's like I want to
• 32:26
  go so funny. I I want to take it to hell when
• 32:29
  I'm writing. I'm gonna take it to hell.
• 32:33
  That's that's how I feel when I write and that's what that song
• 32:35
  is too. We have.
• 32:36
  We did a song called Take it to Hell y'all.
• 32:38
  If Ryan hasn't told you, I mean, you obviously have, but like,
• 32:40
  Ryan's working on music. I am working on music y'all.
• 32:43
  And I'm really, really excited to be part of it.
• 32:45
  Part of it and we just discussed another thing we're going to do,
• 32:49
  not today, but. What's to do with ego?
• 32:51
  Love. That's why we said ego earlier.
• 32:52
  I was like, wait, ego, Yes, we got it.
• 32:54
  But anyways, no, that's how I write too.
• 32:56
  It's like, I really want to go there.
• 32:58
  Like I really want to go there. And I feel like that's why you
• 32:59
  were perfect for that song too, by the way.
• 33:01
  I'm here for, you know, I ran anything with you.
• 33:03
  Oh. My God, I love you and you're so
• 33:05
  talented and seeing your work and seeing how your mind is and
• 33:07
  like. Thank you.
• 33:08
  You're quick and you're also really good at feedback.
• 33:10
  Like, I don't know, just like for me, it's like it's nice to
• 33:13
  work with people who are like comfortable versus like people
• 33:17
  who are like, you don't push back on me a lot, you know what
• 33:19
  I mean? When I find Lyric, you know?
• 33:21
  So I appreciate, I appreciate that because I've been in
• 33:23
  sessions where I feel like sometimes I'm like, there's so
• 33:26
  much pushback. I'm so uncomfortable.
• 33:27
  Like I want to say what I want to say.
• 33:28
  You know what I. Mean it's your artist project
• 33:30
  like I'm just there to support you and I think probably being
• 33:32
  an artist I understand what that's like so.
• 33:35
  And you've been, you've been giving me so much advice and you
• 33:37
  been championing it for me. Champion championing.
• 33:40
  Championing. Championing it for me too,
• 33:42
  because honestly, I'm brand new to pop stardom, but you've been
• 33:46
  doing it and you've been killing it.
• 33:47
  So like, thank you so much for. All your guidance and support.
• 33:50
  No one tells you how to do this, man.
• 33:52
  I don't. So I'm trying to save you a
• 33:54
  couple steps. We learn it as we go.
• 33:56
  I fear it's a it's an everyday process.
• 33:58
  Such a trip. We just, I just started for the
• 34:00
  project too. So, so fun.
• 34:01
  Anyways, y'all, we're going to revisit that when everything
• 34:04
  starts dropping. But like you toured, you open
• 34:07
  for a Delulu alum Grant Kanoki. I love Greg Kanoki.
• 34:11
  I miss him. I really do miss him.
• 34:12
  I texted him the other day. I was like, girl, where are we?
• 34:15
  Like we're both like bird towel and we're like.
• 34:16
  I mean, yeah, welcome, welcome. How was that?
• 34:18
  I was opening for Grant. I love him.
• 34:20
  Like he is so talented and like, I really feel like the way his
• 34:24
  music sounds is like kind of similar, Oh yeah to the vibe
• 34:27
  that I have and so. It was just like a perfect.
• 34:29
  Match totally. It was amazing.
• 34:31
  Like, you know. What's interesting is I feel
• 34:32
  like he comes from a more masculine perspective too.
• 34:34
  Genuinely. I never clocked that, but yeah,
• 34:36
  definitely. He's amazing and his sound
• 34:37
  design is like incredible and he's such a dancer and singer
• 34:40
  and like I love him. We became really good friends,
• 34:44
  like just over that. And shout out to Max Veron.
• 34:46
  Max Veron is an amazing creative director director.
• 34:49
  Yes, he's like one of my best friends too.
• 34:51
  Like we all became best friends because, like we work together
• 34:54
  and he did my don't follow me music video.
• 34:55
  He started working with Grant and then that's how Grant I met.
• 34:59
  I think we like did like a content something.
• 35:02
  Like for La La Land. That was actually after we
• 35:04
  actually, I think, went to Hollywood Blvd. and, like, shot
• 35:07
  some stuff. Yeah.
• 35:08
  And we got chased down by someone and that was a bonding
• 35:11
  experience. But yeah, opening for Grant was
• 35:13
  like, absolutely amazing. And I think it was like a
• 35:14
  perfect match. And I loved it.
• 35:17
  Like, had the best time ever. And I honestly miss him.
• 35:20
  Yeah, it was really great. You're gonna have to see him
• 35:21
  soon. Maybe you guys could do more
• 35:22
  shows together? I know I would absolutely love
• 35:24
  that. Like his, his fan base is
• 35:25
  amazing and I love his team and I just love what he stands for
• 35:29
  and I really like respect him so much and love him.
• 35:31
  I literally like spent my birthday like at his house.
• 35:33
  Oh. My God, wait, that's so fun.
• 35:35
  It was really fun. Wait, you?
• 35:35
  Didn't tell me that the recent birthday.
• 35:37
  Yeah, the recent birthday we like, we're going to go out.
• 35:39
  And then we all just ended up like hanging out at Grant's
• 35:40
  house. Yeah, that's fine.
• 35:41
  I love his place. I know, it's so beautiful.
• 35:44
  He's a really nice piano too. Oh my God, yes.
• 35:46
  And his dog. Hard worker.
• 35:47
  Very hard worker. I mean, I feel like being
• 35:49
  surrounded by people who are hard workers like he makes me
• 35:52
  want to keep doing better too, you know?
• 35:53
  He's also kind and like that's what I look for in my friends.
• 35:56
  Like people who have that grind but like are actually just
• 35:59
  really kind people on. The Super rare in LA.
• 36:01
  I really, I mean, you know what, people say that I'll always stop
• 36:04
  people on the Super rare in LA thing because it's like humans
• 36:06
  are humans and everyone's kind. I actually don't really like
• 36:08
  you. Give people a lot of grace.
• 36:09
  No, I just don't play in that playground.
• 36:11
  What do you mean? I can feel if there's dark
• 36:14
  energy and I just don't. Like you're gonna step away from
• 36:16
  that? Yeah, I don't.
• 36:17
  Really try with that stuff. I feel like for me, I don't know
• 36:19
  if I'm a naive or I'm just like La La la, but I'm always like,
• 36:22
  hey, you know what I mean? And then I'm like, oh.
• 36:24
  It's OK. It takes some of that sometimes
• 36:26
  and like I think I can just like tell and do you.
• 36:30
  Think it's from living in LA as long as you have.
• 36:32
  Yeah. And also like it's interesting,
• 36:34
  I've noticed something and no shade to anybody, but like I
• 36:37
  noticed who treated me a certain way before I felt like my
• 36:40
  project had some momentum and I notice the difference now.
• 36:45
  People do treat me a little different.
• 36:47
  You need to write about that. Girl, listen to Bless You by
• 36:49
  Ella Collier. Oh Clock, everyone, we're
• 36:52
  streaming, we are streaming. There's a lot to listen to.
• 36:55
  So with Dangerous in this project, like by the time the
• 36:57
  album drops I feel you know, you released most of the songs as
• 37:01
  singles. Are you going to do any post
• 37:03
  release singles or like is are we going to get every single
• 37:06
  song before the album drops? Because I think we have like 3
• 37:08
  left. Yeah, we have 3 left.
• 37:09
  The last single is in March, so whenever we listen, I don't
• 37:12
  know, it might be out, but Cheerleaders March and then the
• 37:15
  album is May. And so the last two songs are
• 37:17
  like on the album and so that's how they'll drop.
• 37:20
  And then we have some plans formulating for post.
• 37:23
  But I can't confirm or deny anything because I'm still
• 37:25
  figuring it out. Honestly.
• 37:27
  But there's lots of music and we're not going to stop.
• 37:29
  It's not like I'm going to drop and then like fall off the face
• 37:30
  of the Earth for six. Months like I have momentum.
• 37:33
  Yeah, and we have some really cool visual ideas coming up too
• 37:35
  that'll really show like the deepest sides of everything.
• 37:37
  So yeah. But there's there's a lot of
• 37:40
  good stuff in. Yeah, we rolled out, like I told
• 37:42
  you, like before the lot of the singles so we could give.
• 37:46
  Is this an opportunity to grow, you know?
• 37:48
  I want to talk about your visuals because they're so
• 37:50
  creative and like you're really bringing them in.
• 37:52
  Honestly, Oh my gosh, visuals and music is such a lost art.
• 37:56
  People have not cared about it. People like are just like, it's
• 37:59
  not important anymore. But for me, it's like it's part
• 38:01
  of the world building. It's part of bringing you into
• 38:03
  the artist's world. I love watching them.
• 38:05
  Your ideas are really creative and fun too.
• 38:07
  Thank you. You know what's funny?
• 38:09
  I remember before I dropped the album, there was like an A&R
• 38:13
  that came and like listened to the whole album to show them.
• 38:15
  And they listen, they're like, this is great.
• 38:18
  And they're like, all right, I have some news for you.
• 38:21
  Like the amount of time you put into making this album is the
• 38:26
  same amount of time you're going to have to put into making
• 38:28
  content for this album visually. I had a literal depressive
• 38:31
  episode for like a week. Because you're like, this was
• 38:34
  really a lot. And I also hadn't really played
• 38:37
  in that world. I, I there was a lot of
• 38:38
  insecurity around like filming and and promoting myself.
• 38:43
  We have such good stage presence.
• 38:45
  Thank you, but. It's just like who I I was new.
• 38:47
  I didn't really do this consistently.
• 38:48
  Like I was scared about money. I was scared about da da da da.
• 38:51
  Da, da, right, Yeah. Totally.
• 38:53
  And then shout out there's I mean, everyone is so amazing in
• 38:57
  LA and like at the beginning of my album process, like I made it
• 39:00
  a go. I'd like work with like a new
• 39:02
  visual person like every time. And really Jesse Lynn was a part
• 39:06
  of the beginning of this. And then there's this girl named
• 39:10
  Average Cowgirl on Instagram. She's amazing.
• 39:11
  She did a lot of stuff for Dangerous.
• 39:13
  And then I met Max around the Ice Queen era.
• 39:17
  He was actually filling in for Jesse one day.
• 39:18
  And then I was like, he's so amazing.
• 39:20
  And we just kept working together and became really
• 39:23
  close. And then Riles Martinez kind of
• 39:25
  came on and he is really, really good with like the photos and
• 39:29
  like helping with my content. So like it was crazy because I
• 39:32
  built like a relationship with my visual people, like I have
• 39:36
  with my collaborators on the music side.
• 39:38
  And I didn't know you could have both.
• 39:39
  Like I, I just thought like, oh, you hire someone on you do the
• 39:42
  thing and like. No, like those relations, those
• 39:44
  are the best to work with too, because it makes us understand
• 39:46
  you. They get your vision.
• 39:47
  It's been, it's been so fulfilling.
• 39:49
  Yeah. Like, I, I thought visuals were
• 39:51
  going to be like, a part of the process that I hated.
• 39:53
  But I've become so close and creatively inspired by the
• 39:58
  people I work with on the visual side.
• 40:00
  It's the same as like being in a session.
• 40:02
  Yeah. You know, So I actually really,
• 40:03
  really love it. And thank you for talking about
• 40:05
  the visuals. And like, that's another thing
• 40:07
  you said at the beginning, like, oh, it's coming major label,
• 40:08
  blah, blah, blah. Like bro my budget like small
• 40:11
  small small small. That is crazy because I would
• 40:13
  not have guessed that it's very small.
• 40:14
  No, literally because like everything looks so quality.
• 40:16
  I try to figure. Out a way to do it for free all
• 40:18
  the time. Not like obviously I pay the
• 40:19
  people I work with, but like from like locations to like
• 40:22
  outfits to make up like that's all myself.
• 40:24
  Like the amount of times I've used my parents house, the
• 40:27
  amount of times I've used different parts of my parents
• 40:29
  house is like insane. Like Max was like no more
• 40:31
  parents house. I was like one more parents
• 40:32
  house. I haven't.
• 40:34
  Like we haven't used the garage yet.
• 40:35
  I saw you on Instagram trying to source football field.
• 40:39
  You know what's crazy though for Tululu?
• 40:41
  Like, shout out to the LA Coliseum.
• 40:43
  Literally shout. I can't believe they like you.
• 40:45
  They like me because you know why?
• 40:46
  Why? Because me and.
• 40:48
  The Coliseum have been in a long term relationship.
• 40:51
  Because of the last name, no. It's because I literally, I
• 40:54
  wrote with, I wrote their hundredth year anniversary song.
• 40:56
  Wait, I didn't. Know.
• 40:58
  That but we came to bring the fire shout out and so we did a
• 41:00
  lot of work together and so they let us use the Colosseum which.
• 41:03
  Is that is so fucking sick. Oh my God.
• 41:05
  Thank. You guys, I love everybody over
• 41:06
  there. That is so crazy so.
• 41:08
  She's my resources girl. Yeah, so honestly, you're on it
• 41:11
  and you're creative like that too.
• 41:11
  I didn't talk to you about that because honestly, for me, I'm
• 41:13
  like I have a small bunch of too, like I'm trying to figure
• 41:16
  out my projects and I'm we're not doing videos until like
• 41:18
  obviously the musics done or whatever, but I'm like, I was
• 41:20
  thinking about that because Brett's going to do the visuals
• 41:23
  for the project. Hello, Brett.
• 41:24
  How you doing over there? I see you yawning.
• 41:26
  Just kidding. What the hell?
• 41:27
  You better not be. He's tired bro.
• 41:29
  We've been chatting. We've.
• 41:31
  Been chatting, gagging, OK, but he's going to do the visuals and
• 41:33
  stuff and we're also trying to, I'm trying to think of like, OK,
• 41:35
  what am I going to do for like, because then I'm telling him
• 41:37
  like I want to do this and this and this and this.
• 41:39
  We're going to have Pyro did it and he's like Pyro.
• 41:41
  He's like Buddy. Pyro I I I'm never going to
• 41:44
  touch pyro until like. I told him, can I tell you?
• 41:47
  For this was for Ticket to Hell. This was for Ticket to Hell.
• 41:49
  We sat down so many times talking about a video visualizer
• 41:52
  for Ticket to Hell, and I was like, beat down a beat up car in
• 41:55
  a field. We set it on fire.
• 41:58
  And he was like, you know how much that was going to cost?
• 41:59
  Yeah. I'm hearing that I'm like God
• 42:02
  and he was. Like, and we're not going to be
• 42:03
  able to be down our way. He's like you don't need.
• 42:05
  To like shut it down, you start big and then you go small.
• 42:07
  Like yes, you start big and you can use elements of those ideas
• 42:10
  like every song has. That was also a goal.
• 42:13
  Every single song has a visual. Me too.
• 42:15
  Every single song on the project is going to have a video.
• 42:17
  And actually recently. So an important thing for my
• 42:19
  project is I want it to be very visual, like the lyric.
• 42:23
  I want to evoke a feeling. And it helps me because then
• 42:25
  when I'm writing and I'm like, OK, I can see a video for this.
• 42:26
  And that's why I'm like, OK, I'm I'm writing the right lyrics.
• 42:28
  That's the goal of mine. I want people to be able to see
• 42:30
  and feel and hear what I'm trying to say.
• 42:33
  So I also want to do a visual for every video.
• 42:35
  But I love that you've been doing it too.
• 42:36
  Thank you and also you know what you'll start.
• 42:38
  Doing I love sleepwalking. Thank you.
• 42:39
  Oh my God. You know what?
• 42:40
  That was impromptu. That's what I'm going to say.
• 42:41
  Like. Wait, it's so good and editing's
• 42:43
  really good. Max is so good.
• 42:45
  Yeah, shout out. Max is like you should work with
• 42:47
  him. He's amazing.
• 42:48
  He's worked with Grant. He does like Chandler Leighton
• 42:50
  like about a bunch of. He did Grant's woohoo videos.
• 42:52
  Yeah, he's really good. I like that.
• 42:54
  I like the visualizer. Woohoo, he's amazing.
• 42:55
  But you start, it's like the same thing as songwriting.
• 42:59
  It's the same thing as everything.
• 43:00
  You start to get into this practice of creativity.
• 43:02
  So like even the stuff I did for 17 with Ryles, like I was like,
• 43:05
  I can see me doing a press conference.
• 43:07
  I knew a friend who had a studio who let us use it for free.
• 43:08
  Like, but you kind of think of them on the fly.
• 43:10
  Like you're like, who can I outsource to?
• 43:12
  Like what can I you? You're like so.
• 43:14
  On it, your mind is amazing. Like honestly, you're really
• 43:16
  creative and resourceful and that's smart.
• 43:17
  Cause then for me it's like I delegate so much to my teams.
• 43:20
  I'm like, guys, I'm so Roman, please just handle it.
• 43:22
  And no. Trust me, I delegate to my
• 43:23
  visual people too. We we should because then
• 43:25
  honestly, it's like collaboration.
• 43:27
  I just was telling Max that last night we watched the Charlie XCX
• 43:29
  the moment movie, which said a lot.
• 43:31
  And we're driving back. It's like 1 in the morning and
• 43:33
  we chatted for like 3 hours and I was like, sometimes I like
• 43:36
  don't have the bandwidth. Like I, I wrote the songs I'm,
• 43:38
  I'm posting. I'm, I'm, I'm running a business
• 43:40
  and like, sometimes I can't think of like where the pure
• 43:43
  space is for the thing. Like can you?
• 43:45
  Like they know that and I trust them and we have a trusting
• 43:47
  relationship. Between I just did that with
• 43:48
  Brad, I was like, I just was like, I need to get some stuff
• 43:51
  off my plate. Like can we can you start making
• 43:53
  like the creative decisions for the highlights for the show, for
• 43:55
  the intro, for the show? Because it's like I just don't
• 43:57
  have the capacity, the bandwidth like you said right now, like I
• 43:59
  just don't like I'm very focused on this project and like
• 44:03
  everything else that's going on. So it's just like it's good to
• 44:06
  delegate when it's program having people they could trust
• 44:08
  to do that too. I know that's something I had to
• 44:11
  learn during this process is delegation.
• 44:12
  I literally just like right now I'm like, I'm like, Oh my God,
• 44:15
  I'm so overwhelmed. I'm like, I just have to because
• 44:17
  I like control. Even on the I get it, like, but
• 44:19
  even on the small scale, like with Charlie, you are like
• 44:22
  spill. I'll.
• 44:23
  I mean, if he books me for something, I'm like, just put it
• 44:25
  on my calendar. Thank you.
• 44:26
  Like you know what I mean? I'm like I can't write it down,
• 44:28
  sorry. Al and I were actively in a
• 44:30
  session together, and then as we were doing it, Charlie pops
• 44:33
  something in both of our calendars for this episode.
• 44:35
  And we're like, OK, yeah, that's what I love about Charlie.
• 44:38
  I tell everyone this. I'm like, he just puts that in
• 44:40
  my calendar. Like he has it.
• 44:41
  So he's like, he just puts it in.
• 44:41
  I'm like great, tell me when and where.
• 44:45
  He's so low key until it's the best.
• 44:46
  Yeah, no, it's good to delegate, especially like it's sometimes
• 44:49
  it's hard for me to admit that I'm like, I need the help and
• 44:51
  the support. But then right now I'm in a
• 44:53
  place in my mind where I'm like, there's a lot of creative,
• 44:55
  creative things happening where I'm like, I just need to be able
• 44:57
  to express this and get this out and everything else, just this
• 45:00
  extra that I'm not trying to do right now, you know what I mean?
• 45:02
  But like, that's why you're so inspiring to me because I'm
• 45:04
  like, girl, how do you do it? How do you do it?
• 45:06
  For real. Seriously, me too, because I'm
• 45:08
  just like, this is a lot, you know?
• 45:10
  And being a pop star is a lot. You make it look easy.
• 45:12
  I think I posted, I posted on my story a couple weeks ago.
• 45:13
  I was like girl bitch, you make it look easy as fuck.
• 45:17
  Thank you for saying that. It's.
• 45:18
  You make it look easy. It's definitely not.
• 45:20
  No, it's not. But you know what?
• 45:22
  Actually, let me let me change that narrative because like,
• 45:24
  yeah, you know, on the whole spirituality tip that we've been
• 45:26
  on this whole time, like delulu, like think about literally the
• 45:30
  name of your podcast. True Lulu.
• 45:31
  Make it easy bro. Like things should like
• 45:33
  everything comes to us easily. Things are easy.
• 45:36
  Make it easy. Make life fun.
• 45:37
  Like yeah, that's why I really like nurture my relationships
• 45:40
  with everybody I work with and like my fans.
• 45:42
  I don't like to call them fans. My OG is like.
• 45:43
  Yeah, let's I want to join your zooms.
• 45:46
  I'm just so busy. Girl you.
• 45:48
  Know I also feel like I don't want to like interrupt.
• 45:50
  That's fine. The zooms are so fun though.
• 45:51
  I love. Them, I know I want to join
• 45:52
  because I see them on your store and I'm like damn.
• 45:54
  It we do it like every single release.
• 45:55
  I like that. That's super good.
• 45:57
  That's good that you're nurturing and like also really,
• 46:00
  you know, present with your fan base.
• 46:03
  Too. I mean, yeah.
• 46:03
  I mean, they're like, they don't have to do this, you know, like
• 46:07
  they. It's the best thing to have
• 46:08
  people to care about your music, what you have to say, your
• 46:11
  artistry. So really smart, they're all
• 46:12
  like really smart and really creative in their own ways.
• 46:16
  And they inspire me and like to see like the genuine like
• 46:20
  innocence and kindness that they have for just like supporting
• 46:25
  makes me realize that's really, I know everybody says that it
• 46:29
  sounds corny, but like internalize what I'm saying.
• 46:31
  Like that's really what I'm doing this for.
• 46:34
  Like I'm really doing this. So like it was funny.
• 46:36
  Like we had a zoom for 17 and that sounds kind of like sassy.
• 46:42
  And I didn't expect the zoom to be the deepest.
• 46:44
  It was like the deepest zoom we had and.
• 46:45
  Like how long was the zoom for? Well, it's only 40 minutes
• 46:48
  because I don't pay for Zoom. We're on a budget.
• 46:51
  Yeah, we, we can't like lock in, but we talk and like, we talked
• 46:56
  a lot about like, you know, trigger warning, like eating
• 46:59
  disorders and bullying and stuff like that.
• 47:03
  And I didn't expect to have such a deep, deep conversation around
• 47:05
  17. And it was really, I needed that
• 47:08
  as well, so. By the way, I love 17 with the
• 47:10
  night it came out I texted you I was like, girl, people told me I
• 47:12
  Can't Sing either. So like I'm this is my song.
• 47:16
  Yes, attitude. Sass, you really speaks in high
• 47:18
  school, want to follow me? Period.
• 47:20
  Clock their. Honestly love them.
• 47:21
  No, it's fine. Clock their asses.
• 47:23
  I mean you talk about on song, you know what I mean?
• 47:24
  Like grace. This is you giving your younger
• 47:27
  self grace too. Like I think you just posted
• 47:29
  about today on your story or something.
• 47:30
  You were like, this is just me telling like so I should not
• 47:33
  have worried as much as I did. You know which.
• 47:35
  Is I need to know that? Still you need to know that.
• 47:38
  I know girl, I'm so worried I don't even want to get into it.
• 47:41
  This is your show girl. Guys before.
• 47:43
  We started shooting. Well, before we started
• 47:46
  shooting, we were, she sat down, we shot, we sat down and Ella
• 47:49
  was like, so what's going on? I was like.
• 47:51
  Girl, I was like, you better stop.
• 47:52
  Girl, I know literally because. Every time I see you.
• 47:54
  OK, we can cut this out, but like also maybe even why are you
• 47:56
  so fucking worried about girl? Well, honestly, I'm here's the
• 47:59
  truth of the matter and I would be happy to talk about it.
• 48:02
  Like I just feel like no one takes me seriously as an artist.
• 48:04
  This is something I'm really passionate about and like even
• 48:06
  outside of being an artist, I have been songwriting for a
• 48:09
  decade now and it's just so hard to prove it to people.
• 48:13
  Not prove it, that I've done it 'cause I obviously prove that.
• 48:15
  But it's just like to be taken seriously, coming from an
• 48:18
  influencer background, being in the creator economy, I just feel
• 48:20
  like a lot of people look at me and be like just another
• 48:22
  influence trying to make music now.
• 48:23
  And that's really disappointing to feel and know.
• 48:26
  And like I talked about with my team and like, you know, Charlie
• 48:29
  tells me all the time, it's like it has to be good.
• 48:31
  Not that it's bad, but he's like, it has to be really good.
• 48:33
  Because if it's not, they're going to they're going to be
• 48:35
  like, yeah, that's what we thought.
• 48:36
  That's what. The pressure is coming from it's
• 48:38
  a. Lot of pressure.
• 48:38
  And then also it's just something that's really
• 48:39
  important to me because like this project I'm working on is
• 48:41
  like something I've written over the past ten years.
• 48:43
  I'm pulling from the archives and writing from what's going on
• 48:46
  in my life right now as well. Of course you were there.
• 48:49
  But it's just like a lot of like, I need it to be good.
• 48:52
  And I know people don't even believe in me.
• 48:53
  People even around me, like people close to me, thankfully.
• 48:57
  And I'm so grateful. Like I never felt this way about
• 48:58
  anyone on my team that none of them were like, when I told
• 49:01
  everyone I wanted to do music, no one was like, oh really?
• 49:03
  They were like, OK, like, you know what I mean?
• 49:04
  Like, they're amazing. They're like we, obviously we
• 49:06
  know about it. Right.
• 49:07
  Yes. You know what I mean?
• 49:08
  So that was nice and I want to surround myself with more people
• 49:10
  like that. But generally I just know people
• 49:12
  are going to have a lot of doubt towards it.
• 49:13
  And then I'm just like fuck now I need.
• 49:16
  Prove them wrong or something. I don't even sometimes I'm like
• 49:18
  wants it just be like, I'm gonna prove you wrong.
• 49:19
  But the other part of me is like, I'm not doing it for you.
• 49:21
  I'm doing it for me. I'm doing it for my followers.
• 49:24
  I'm doing it for a connection. I'm doing it so people could
• 49:26
  feel something, you know what I mean?
• 49:28
  Like so that's kind of where I'm at with that.
• 49:31
  And that's why I'm like super stressed about and then also
• 49:34
  working with people. I feel like the people I work
• 49:35
  with don't take, I told you this, every time we get in a
• 49:37
  session, I'm like, thank you so much for taking me seriously as
• 49:39
  an artist. You never, you never doubted me.
• 49:41
  You never questioned me when I told you I wanted to write with
• 49:43
  you. In fact, actually before I even
• 49:44
  told you I wanted to write with you, I think I played you 2 of
• 49:46
  my songs and you're like, hey, do you ever want to write?
• 49:48
  And I was like, that was the first time anyone's like was
• 49:50
  like, let's write. You know what?
• 49:51
  I mean, of course, you know what?
• 49:53
  Hold on, give me your hand. I mean things are so weird.
• 49:57
  It's like fucking Cynthia and or Ariana.
• 49:59
  No, it's because we're kind of very far from each other.
• 50:02
  So like, no. But for real, like, yeah, I love
• 50:05
  you and. Love you.
• 50:06
  It's gonna, this is part of it, I think, and you're not going to
• 50:11
  like what I'm about to. Tell you I'm so scared to give
• 50:13
  it. Oh God, what?
• 50:16
  This is like really lonely. Guys, I thought she was going to
• 50:21
  be like, you really Can't Sing because like, we just talked
• 50:23
  about it. Not actually that lonely in the
• 50:27
  way you're thinking. You have to girl.
• 50:30
  Use your fucking title of your podcast like you have to be
• 50:33
  delusional to a crazy point like I do not.
• 50:36
  That's where I'm at. I do not care honestly if my
• 50:40
  peers, friends or family whatever like or hate my music.
• 50:44
  Really, you know what? Because for me, this is where I
• 50:47
  look at. I'm like, I'm not making it for
• 50:50
  the validation of anything, you know what I mean?
• 50:52
  Also, the taking you seriously thing, it's like, yeah, what
• 50:55
  would make you feel like someone took you seriously?
• 50:56
  Is that just the thing you have in your head?
• 50:58
  Like take yourself seriously and keep doing what you're doing
• 51:00
  when you're taking yourself seriously.
• 51:01
  And like, maybe it'll take a while to catch up.
• 51:04
  And like, you'll always know that about the people that
• 51:06
  didn't, and you'll keep that in your back pocket and keep going.
• 51:09
  Like this is you go through these show goals to be able to
• 51:11
  translate them, you know? I really love that you said that
• 51:15
  because like I, the way I look at it and the way I feel about
• 51:17
  this project is like, I know you've been there, how much time
• 51:21
  and effort and work I'm putting into it.
• 51:23
  And I wish other people would recognize that because then my
• 51:26
  fear since we've been talking about fear and everything and
• 51:28
  like what's dangerous is like that people are going to think
• 51:30
  like people are just giving me the songs and I'm just like
• 51:33
  jumping on them and singing them and like, no, I'm like deeply
• 51:35
  involved in writing all the lyrics, you know, I mean, I'm
• 51:37
  like involved in the production. I have very strong ideas of what
• 51:40
  I want and like the concepts, right.
• 51:42
  So like even when we were working together and it was so
• 51:44
  collaborative and it was like new for me because I was used to
• 51:47
  writing everything by myself. So I had a lot of fear about
• 51:50
  that for a while. But then honestly, as I keep
• 51:53
  going with this project, the more I'm just like, it doesn't
• 51:55
  even matter. What matters to me right now is
• 51:56
  being able to tell my story, being able to say what I want to
• 51:58
  say and having people be able to listen to it and relate to it
• 52:00
  and hear the lyric. Like, you know, when you sent me
• 52:02
  to Tululu this morning and then the rest of the project and
• 52:06
  you're like, thank you for intentionally listening.
• 52:07
  I was like, absolutely. Like I.
• 52:10
  You're a sweet person. Well, I also want to listen
• 52:12
  'cause like, it's your story and you're sharing your music with
• 52:14
  me. Thank you.
• 52:15
  It was also easy because, like, you had released a lot of it
• 52:18
  already. Yeah.
• 52:18
  Like, so it wasn't like, it wasn't like overwhelming for me
• 52:20
  right off the bat 'cause I was like, OK, pretty much have 3
• 52:22
  brand new ones, 3 songs. Yeah, pretty much just three
• 52:24
  brand new ones for me. That's.
• 52:25
  What I did for the public girl too, so nobody got overwhelmed.
• 52:28
  I like that, that's smart. Like honestly, 'cause I'm
• 52:30
  thinking about my role, I'm like, I'm not sure if I want a
• 52:32
  waterfall, if I just want to drop, but either way, not even.
• 52:34
  We're not even there about it. We're gonna get into it.
• 52:36
  But you know what? Speaking of that, I fucking love
• 52:38
  Tululu. Holy shit girl.
• 52:42
  Holy shit girl. Can we talk about delulu?
• 52:44
  Yes. Oh my God, I'd love to talk
• 52:45
  about you later. Oh my gosh.
• 52:46
  And also that concept. Here we go. 5th Profound,
• 52:49
  profound, profound. Profound, profound.
• 52:51
  Take a shot every time of Red Bull.
• 52:53
  Yeah exactly. I was like of non alcoholic
• 52:56
  shot. Thank you.
• 52:57
  I really, really attribute a lot of the song to my collaborators
• 53:02
  on that, on that song. You said Leo.
• 53:04
  OK, Leo and this writer named Max Vernon, Max is an amazing
• 53:09
  writer and he really like helps me out that day.
• 53:13
  I was really tie tie. I did not think like, it's so
• 53:16
  funny. On the days you don't think
• 53:17
  you're going to get a song, you'll get a song.
• 53:19
  And like, I love cheerleader because it's kind of camp, you
• 53:22
  know what I mean? Like and it follows 17.
• 53:25
  So we're endless like high school phase, which is where a
• 53:27
  lot of like trauma originated and.
• 53:31
  I feel like that's a theme too in the music, you know, just
• 53:33
  like the youth of it. And then going on like
• 53:35
  cheerleading, like we think high school, we think like totally,
• 53:38
  you know, the the whole, I don't want to say what it's like
• 53:41
  clicks like groups like Da da Da, but you kind of spin it on
• 53:44
  its head. Thank you.
• 53:45
  My mom always says everything goes back to high school.
• 53:47
  Oh. What's up with that?
• 53:49
  Just like the concept of like social dynamics basically.
• 53:53
  But yeah. Delulu.
• 53:54
  Like fun because it's this is my first time talking about it so
• 53:59
  like mind my like slowness with it because I've like practice
• 54:02
  all the other ones in a way, but like.
• 54:04
  With Delulu. It's a representation of
• 54:08
  jealousy and resentment, obviously, and like, insecurity
• 54:11
  in the way that I'm talking about it.
• 54:13
  And obviously in the song, I'm like, I don't care.
• 54:15
  Like take my man. I'll be her biggest true leader.
• 54:17
  Like, I'm such a feminist, like. Yeah, I'm such a fan.
• 54:20
  That's it. Like sitting on its head.
• 54:22
  Exactly. And like also it's not like
• 54:25
  about one specific experience. I think it's about like many of
• 54:27
  times, like from high school, college, like in life where like
• 54:31
  there has been a homie, a girl. Who?
• 54:35
  Takes Mama. Yeah, takes Mama.
• 54:37
  But I also say the song like he wasn't for me anyways.
• 54:41
  Like you can have him because like obviously, you know, it's
• 54:43
  just the classic stuff that like classic toxic, like situation
• 54:46
  ship dynamics or whatever, like bring up and.
• 54:48
  So yeah, I'm really excited for the debut album.
• 54:50
  And then honestly, you already said that you were pretty much
• 54:52
  finished with the second one already.
• 54:54
  We'll see, We'll see. I I mean 50 songs.
• 54:57
  That's insane. Wait, how many did you make for
• 54:59
  Dangerous? It wasn't the same process.
• 55:01
  We just were kind of making songs that we're going to go on
• 55:04
  that album. And then my manager wanted to do
• 55:06
  a writing exercise with me where I made 50 demos and picked
• 55:10
  through and send it to my whole team and send it to people I
• 55:12
  trusted and got their opinions. And then at the end of the day,
• 55:14
  I like curated 20 songs. I don't know how long it's going
• 55:17
  to be. We're kind of in the process
• 55:18
  right now of listening through and figuring out sequencing and
• 55:23
  seeing kind of what that's going to be.
• 55:24
  But why are you? Rolling out your first album.
• 55:27
  The reason why is because I that's what's kept the success
• 55:30
  going is. The momentum, yeah.
• 55:32
  Staying ahead of myself. So like the stuff you guys see
• 55:35
  usually is filmed probably 3 months before or like something
• 55:38
  like that. And like with making songs,
• 55:41
  there's so much that goes into it, like mixing and then like
• 55:42
  coming up with concepts and all that stuff.
• 55:44
  So Oh my gosh. And I went through like a pretty
• 55:47
  brutal heartbreak in the middle of releasing this album around
• 55:51
  actually, like when Don't Follow Me was coming out and that's
• 55:53
  where I don't do drugs kind of hijacked a little.
• 55:55
  Literally going to say because I don't do drugs like is so
• 55:58
  explicitly about that even referencing Nashville everything
• 56:02
  you know. Yeah.
• 56:02
  And like, as you can tell, like on this project, there's a lot
• 56:07
  of songs that are kind of like about me and psychoanalytic, and
• 56:10
  the theme is more ego, spirituality, those types of
• 56:13
  things. And I think for a long time in
• 56:15
  my writing for this album, I was distracting myself from my
• 56:19
  feelings in my love life by using concepts to cover that.
• 56:25
  And so my next album is going to be like, really, really about
• 56:31
  love, but not the way I think. God knowing you?
• 56:36
  No, but I was like knowing you. I wouldn't expect anything
• 56:38
  different. Than that it's, it's really,
• 56:41
  it's a painful, beautiful, visceral process that I went
• 56:46
  through and it really, really helped me get over it.
• 56:48
  Oh, I love that. Yeah, Oh my God.
• 56:50
  I feel like that's the thing about writing, because then I, I
• 56:52
  think Taylor Swift said this. I just read this recently and I
• 56:54
  was like, yes, girl. But she was like, sometimes she
• 56:57
  was like, you can listen to the most heart wrenching,
• 56:59
  heartbreaking song I've ever written.
• 57:00
  And she was like, and literally for me, it's just to write it,
• 57:03
  get it on. It helps me move on from it
• 57:05
  totally. And that's it.
• 57:06
  And I move on from it. I was like literally the same.
• 57:07
  I just want to write about it to get it out of the way.
• 57:09
  Of course, doesn't mean I'm going to live in that forever.
• 57:11
  No, a lot of these songs are like feelings and moments, but
• 57:14
  they're. Moments you're capturing
• 57:15
  moments, but you're. Capturing a moment.
• 57:16
  I've had to really work on Shout Out.
• 57:18
  I say this in a lot of interviews, Shout out Chandler
• 57:20
  Leighton, my girl 'cause she's like an older sister to me.
• 57:23
  And I noticed when I was releasing the album, like the
• 57:28
  songs like it would start to like manifest into my life
• 57:32
  again, like whatever theme and I was like, this literally can't
• 57:36
  happen. Like I've I've grown so much,
• 57:39
  like I cannot have this stuff happen.
• 57:41
  So I've like really been intentional about like
• 57:43
  protecting my energy, like around songs and stuff.
• 57:45
  And like, so whenever I'm like rolling out the sex project,
• 57:47
  like I'm sure I'll have a new perspective and like songs
• 57:50
  evolve and like meanies evolve. But reliving that heartbreak is
• 57:55
  tough. But like with that album, I was
• 57:58
  very intentional in the process of creating it to leave nothing
• 58:01
  behind and like I went. You want to no leave no stone.
• 58:04
  Unturned right like and I went with like, well, there will be
• 58:07
  times we'll talk to talk about this, but like I went from like
• 58:10
  accountability to extreme exhaustion to extreme surrender,
• 58:13
  to complete heartbreak to to naming his dreams to my dreams
• 58:17
  to like having a full circle acceptance, acceptance and then
• 58:21
  to finding a new partner and like what does that look like
• 58:23
  and how do I carry all of like the weight and baggage and get
• 58:26
  rid of it and music like I'm basically living through what
• 58:30
  I'm going through in my love life through the next project so
• 58:33
  and. We're excited for that too.
• 58:36
  Well, you're so unique in your perspective too.
• 58:38
  So like I'm curious about like what you mean by that.
• 58:40
  And obviously we haven't heard anything yet and we're going to
• 58:42
  be living with Dangerous for a while too.
• 58:44
  Yeah. Also, like it's all within the
• 58:46
  same theme. Like if there's anything that I
• 58:47
  can promise you guys, it's like it's all going to go back to the
• 58:51
  soul and like, yeah. You're super intentional about
• 58:54
  that. Thank you, it's the only way I
• 58:56
  can survive. And we love that and honestly,
• 58:59
  it really benefits the collective.
• 59:02
  The collective is weird right now.
• 59:03
  It's something. About the collective should.
• 59:05
  We talk. Let's get into the.
• 59:06
  Clock. It's like the year of the Fire
• 59:07
  Horse, right? Yeah.
• 59:08
  And then also the state of the world is insane.
• 59:12
  Not the greatest. There's a lot going on right now
• 59:14
  and it's also hard. I think as like I talk about
• 59:16
  some of my guests, but it's like as entertainers, it's like, Oh
• 59:18
  my gosh, like I feel bad. Oh my, we talked about this in
• 59:21
  our last session. Tell me more.
• 59:22
  It's hard as entertainers to be like, there's a lot going on.
• 59:25
  It's like we we're still doing our job and it's like, I don't
• 59:28
  know where like we stop here. Like what do we say?
• 59:31
  Like how do we react to this you?
• 59:32
  Know well, you know, I was talking to one of my friends
• 59:34
  last night about philosophy and I feel like artists are
• 59:39
  philosophers in their own way. And I believe everybody should
• 59:43
  express themselves and do their art, however they feel.
• 59:45
  And like the way that I express my art and hopefully help the
• 59:51
  state of the consciousness and the state of people's hope is by
• 59:54
  being so authentically me and my emotional experience to
• 59:56
  hopefully enlighten someone to do that for themselves.
• 59:59
  And so maybe they can be a better person and give good and
• 1:00:01
  and be vulnerable and have deeper conversations.
• 1:00:04
  And like, if I can change the world right from like the inside
• 1:00:08
  out and the intercommunication of people and the connection
• 1:00:11
  that people feel like, that's how I do it.
• 1:00:13
  But yeah, I think we have a responsibility as artists.
• 1:00:18
  I really do. I mean, you're super conscious
• 1:00:19
  about all of it too, because I'm obviously through following you
• 1:00:22
  and also knowing you like I really love everything you do is
• 1:00:25
  intentional. I don't ever see anything you
• 1:00:27
  do. I'm just like, oh, random.
• 1:00:28
  We're like, oh, kind of like. I'm very impulsive actually, as
• 1:00:30
  a human. I honestly got that from
• 1:00:32
  Dangerous title track clock. But with that being said, like
• 1:00:36
  you're also like really planned ahead and you're like, you're on
• 1:00:38
  it, Capricorn Queen. Thank you.
• 1:00:40
  It's a weird dichotomy I would say that I work with.
• 1:00:43
  Yeah, but honestly, it's working for you.
• 1:00:44
  Thank. You.
• 1:00:45
  OK, Ella, you've been giving such a soulful advice this
• 1:00:48
  entire episode to me, just in general to the listeners, but we
• 1:00:52
  have some besties who have submitted some questions for us
• 1:00:55
  to answer. I love this.
• 1:00:56
  This is fun. Wait, tell me about this.
• 1:00:58
  I love this. OK, so this.
• 1:01:00
  I love this. WWADGD This is what would a Dulu
• 1:01:02
  girl do? So some besties submitted some
• 1:01:04
  of their questions, concerns, settlement problems.
• 1:01:06
  They want our advice, they want our take what we would do in
• 1:01:09
  this situation. Wait, I love this.
• 1:01:11
  OK OK. Do I have to give like
• 1:01:13
  delusional advice or like? What you can give us like your
• 1:01:15
  advice, like where the Dulu girls, whatever your advice is
• 1:01:18
  like so you can take it seriously, you can take it.
• 1:01:21
  I mean, I'm gonna take it seriously.
• 1:01:22
  OK, let's take it seriously. But like also like fun.
• 1:01:24
  We're fun. You're really on it, so I'm
• 1:01:26
  excited for your answers for this.
• 1:01:27
  OK, so first bestie, anonymous bestie says.
• 1:01:31
  I saw a guy I'm seeing on a date with another girl at a
• 1:01:33
  restaurant. He didn't see me, but do I
• 1:01:35
  confront him about it? What are we doing?
• 1:01:40
  I'm sorry, that's I'll. Confront.
• 1:01:41
  I will confront. I'm very confrontational.
• 1:01:43
  I'm so confrontational. I know you are, especially with
• 1:01:45
  men, very confrontational. Men, I need contacts but I think
• 1:01:48
  here's here's some options. Okay, give.
• 1:01:50
  How long have you been seeing this person?
• 1:01:51
  How do you guys communicate? Have you guys talked about what
• 1:01:53
  you are? What do you want?
• 1:01:56
  I would definitely like lock in on all of those things and then
• 1:02:00
  make your decision like is confronting him out of your ego?
• 1:02:03
  Do you want to hear the answer? Like, and how long has this been
• 1:02:06
  going on? Like it's a guy you've been
• 1:02:07
  seeing, like how serious is his relationship?
• 1:02:08
  You know what I mean? I mean, what would you do?
• 1:02:10
  OK, let's say, let's say you're in that situation.
• 1:02:11
  What would you do? Like maybe it's like you guys
• 1:02:14
  are just seeing each other. You're getting excited about it,
• 1:02:16
  but then you see them out with another person.
• 1:02:17
  You didn't discuss it. You didn't set up that mean
• 1:02:19
  that. Would hurt my feelings.
• 1:02:20
  Hurt your feelings? Would you confront?
• 1:02:27
  I really think it depends. I really think it depends like.
• 1:02:33
  I would confront. I have confronted.
• 1:02:37
  What do you say? Are you just like?
• 1:02:39
  I would just be like, what the fuck was that?
• 1:02:40
  Who's that? What's up?
• 1:02:42
  Hey, I saw you on a date with someone when I walked it like it
• 1:02:44
  sounds fucking crazy. I would say, oh, how's your date
• 1:02:47
  the other night? Look cute?
• 1:02:49
  Period, bitch, period. I don't think I, I think that I
• 1:02:52
  would protect my peace. So whatever that means to you,
• 1:02:53
  and I know that's not the answer you guys want, like I would
• 1:02:56
  protect your peace. So if, if protecting your peace
• 1:02:58
  means like having a conversation about it, like fine.
• 1:03:01
  But if protecting your peace means like taking note of that
• 1:03:04
  and then moving in the direction away from this person, do what's
• 1:03:07
  best for you and your peace. And if you want a little chaos,
• 1:03:09
  like fine, do it. But like.
• 1:03:11
  OK, I have a side question just playing off of that.
• 1:03:13
  Yes. Do you ever do anything for the
• 1:03:16
  plot, Do things, do things for the journal entry, do things to
• 1:03:18
  write a song about it? No, never.
• 1:03:20
  You don't put yourself in chaos intentionally.
• 1:03:22
  Not anymore. OK, you're so mature and grown.
• 1:03:25
  I mean the only reason why I don't do that anymore is because
• 1:03:27
  like I will relapse. OK, protect your piece and we're
• 1:03:31
  going to stay. But not like a scary creepy way.
• 1:03:34
  It's like. No, like obviously.
• 1:03:36
  For the plot, what I do is like go have fun.
• 1:03:38
  Like productive plot thickenings.
• 1:03:40
  You know what I mean? It's like, or I like go wear
• 1:03:43
  cool clothes or I like like talk like watch something cool, but
• 1:03:47
  it's not like I'm gonna go hurt somebody for the plot or like
• 1:03:49
  I'm gonna hurt myself for the plot, like.
• 1:03:51
  Although I'm waiting to a session and I was like what do I
• 1:03:53
  want to write about right now? I really don't even know and I
• 1:03:55
  was like should I just I texted my other producer like I just
• 1:03:57
  say something crazy that we can have something right about.
• 1:03:59
  He's like, absolutely fucking non like.
• 1:04:02
  The, the it's too, it's too much.
• 1:04:04
  Also I think like I'm innately like just fun, crazy and all
• 1:04:08
  that. So like, yeah, I, I'm down to
• 1:04:10
  like play around and go hang out with people and do fun stuff.
• 1:04:12
  But yeah, like I can't, I can't afford with like, yeah, my
• 1:04:16
  career and like people I love, like I don't wanna hurt them.
• 1:04:19
  You don't wanna play into that. OK, that's super fair.
• 1:04:21
  When I was younger, I used to do shit all the time.
• 1:04:23
  For a journal entry to be like same journal, This is crazy.
• 1:04:26
  Not for a song, obviously this song comes out of it anyways.
• 1:04:29
  But I used to like really just put myself in situations.
• 1:04:31
  But. That's why.
• 1:04:32
  I'm so tired and like. I want I want to be happy.
• 1:04:36
  I want to be happy. So I don't do that stuff.
• 1:04:38
  Yeah. Anyways, for the person who
• 1:04:39
  asked this question, like, I am really fucking sorry.
• 1:04:42
  That sucks. And I think protect your peace.
• 1:04:45
  So whatever that means to you, you sometimes having the
• 1:04:47
  conversation, confronting them, you'll get a truth that you
• 1:04:50
  might not want to hear. So be ready.
• 1:04:51
  That's super true. Like, you have to be prepared
• 1:04:53
  for whatever that reaction is going to be.
• 1:04:55
  I would confront it, I think, because in my head, here's what
• 1:04:58
  I would do. Genuinely, I'd be like, OK, it's
• 1:04:59
  over. Like in my head, I'm like, this
• 1:05:00
  is done. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:05:01
  Making a decision on if it's done for you and then.
• 1:05:03
  Going and let's see what's up or maybe communicating about it or
• 1:05:06
  whatever. I know myself.
• 1:05:07
  I probably. Want to keep seeing the person
• 1:05:08
  though. I would definitely confront like
• 1:05:10
  I would confront and I think I would be intense about it.
• 1:05:13
  I think in a sense of confrontation.
• 1:05:15
  OK, period. I would just stop seeing the
• 1:05:17
  person. Would you would you like explain
• 1:05:19
  to them or would you stop seeing them?
• 1:05:21
  Would you ghosties or what? Do you think sees never ghosts?
• 1:05:23
  Never ghosts. You would talk to them about it.
• 1:05:25
  Yeah, I would just be like, hey, like it depends on if you're
• 1:05:27
  like, hey, I saw you with someone and that's why I'm
• 1:05:29
  leaving. Yeah.
• 1:05:31
  Go for it. But you know, I do.
• 1:05:32
  In a peaceful way, yeah. Just whatever you can do to
• 1:05:34
  protect your peace with that situation, OK?
• 1:05:37
  We love it. Mature.
• 1:05:38
  Good luck. Good luck, you got it.
• 1:05:40
  You're going to be fine no matter what.
• 1:05:41
  And if you want, I'll confront them happily.
• 1:05:44
  OK so my ex keeps talking about me to all of her friends and I
• 1:05:48
  want them to stop. I don't really want to talk to
• 1:05:50
  them. What should I do about that?
• 1:05:51
  My ex keeps talking so read it one more time.
• 1:05:53
  So my ex keeps talking about me. This is the question.
• 1:05:57
  Mike keeps talking about me to all of our friends.
• 1:05:59
  They have mutual friends and I want them to stop.
• 1:06:01
  I don't want to talk to them. What should I do about it?
• 1:06:06
  I think for me, I would also confront.
• 1:06:10
  Yeah, I mean, I think like, I don't know how you feel about
• 1:06:14
  this, but being in the same friend group as your is like,
• 1:06:18
  not. Tea not.
• 1:06:20
  Tea, not tea. Oh, it's actually fucking hell.
• 1:06:22
  I. Just don't do it.
• 1:06:23
  It's so. It's so bad.
• 1:06:25
  I wouldn't if you guys have mutual.
• 1:06:26
  Friends, have you ever been in that situation?
• 1:06:28
  Yes, it's bad. What do?
• 1:06:30
  You do eventually like get out of there.
• 1:06:31
  I mean, it was in high school and like in college and stuff
• 1:06:35
  just like not really like in like.
• 1:06:36
  I'm protecting your peace. Yeah, like that's.
• 1:06:38
  I'm also that type of person where I'm like, you know what,
• 1:06:41
  I'm just going to leave. I don't care to be a part of
• 1:06:43
  that. You can still be friends with
• 1:06:44
  the mutual friends. Here's what I'd say.
• 1:06:45
  Boundaries, Mother Hecker. Boundaries.
• 1:06:47
  Boundaries. Boundaries like period.
• 1:06:49
  Listen. Give it to us.
• 1:06:51
  Tell the mutual friends to stop telling you what the X is
• 1:06:54
  saying. Like don't do that.
• 1:06:56
  Like maintain your friendship, set boundaries, say hey guys I
• 1:06:59
  love you, you're my great friends.
• 1:07:00
  I don't. Want to hear anything about blah
• 1:07:01
  blah blah? Let them keep talking.
• 1:07:03
  I don't think it's worth talking to the ex boundaries to the
• 1:07:05
  friends and then make decisions from there like.
• 1:07:07
  That's smart. Don't feed the ex's ego.
• 1:07:09
  Like stop playing like. Like how much are these friends
• 1:07:11
  entertaining it to you know? Don't.
• 1:07:13
  Everybody loves gossip. Everybody loves to swim in the
• 1:07:15
  negativity. Like stop, be.
• 1:07:17
  Fucking mature. Yeah, seriously, grow up, girl.
• 1:07:21
  I got it. Literally.
• 1:07:22
  You're doing great though and obviously like if you still have
• 1:07:25
  feelings for your ex because nothing you do, but it's
• 1:07:28
  sounding like you kind of like like it a little bit.
• 1:07:31
  Stop. Love you.
• 1:07:32
  Let's get into this cause actually this is our next
• 1:07:34
  question. I feel like my boyfriend is
• 1:07:36
  still in love with his ex. I confronted him about it, he
• 1:07:40
  denied it but I can't shake the feeling.
• 1:07:42
  What should I do? I would trust your gut
• 1:07:44
  personally. Yeah, I mean that's.
• 1:07:46
  What I think, that's really what I think.
• 1:07:47
  I'm like, you feel that way? Trust your gut.
• 1:07:49
  But love is a beautiful thing. So if that's your boyfriend and
• 1:07:53
  you actually love your boyfriend, we got to practice
• 1:07:55
  some love here. We got to practice some trust.
• 1:07:58
  Is this your abandonment wounds? Is this your fear?
• 1:08:01
  Is this your controlling tendencies acting out to feel
• 1:08:03
  like you have control over something?
• 1:08:05
  Or has he shown you things that make you feel like he's still in
• 1:08:09
  love with his axe? Is he still talking to the axe?
• 1:08:11
  Everything. So we talk with the axe.
• 1:08:12
  Like, yeah, it's like, let your love for him decide.
• 1:08:17
  Or her or they right, but like don't why are we also toxic
• 1:08:23
  girl, This is social media. It's like on it's like, it's
• 1:08:26
  like the Instagram reels when they're like if Harry didn't get
• 1:08:29
  you 50 roses for Valentine's Day, he hates you.
• 1:08:33
  It's like grow up, right? Let love decide.
• 1:08:36
  Let love decide, girl. Because it shouldn't be that
• 1:08:38
  complicated, right? Yeah.
• 1:08:39
  And if that's your boyfriend, like trust, like you got to
• 1:08:43
  practice some trust or like don't be in the relationship.
• 1:08:45
  There's a reason you feel that way, right?
• 1:08:46
  Like. Yeah, I mean, I'm a.
• 1:08:48
  Paranoid person too. Like I really am.
• 1:08:50
  At the same time it's like, oh me be paranoid.
• 1:08:52
  But when it comes to this, I'd be like, is it paranoia or is it
• 1:08:56
  like, like some higher power telling me something that I
• 1:08:58
  should tap into, you know? Yeah.
• 1:09:00
  And you can tap into that. I've been in those.
• 1:09:01
  Situations too, where I'm like, what's going on here?
• 1:09:03
  Totally. And like that is 100% fair, but
• 1:09:06
  that's you're in that relationship.
• 1:09:07
  So you have to decide like is this person loyal to me?
• 1:09:09
  Is this person true to me? Do I feel like I actually trust
• 1:09:11
  them or do I? Why not?
• 1:09:12
  And if you don't, then don't be there.
• 1:09:14
  Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, very mature answers and
• 1:09:16
  takes. It's hard, it's hard.
• 1:09:20
  Love is love is a tough one. It's a toughie, yeah.
• 1:09:22
  It takes a lot of work. It really does.
• 1:09:23
  It does take a lot of work. I mean, honestly, I think
• 1:09:25
  relationships in general are things that you have to put
• 1:09:27
  intention and time into regardless, regardless.
• 1:09:30
  So it's like that's something you have to acknowledge going
• 1:09:32
  into. It I love that they write in
• 1:09:33
  these questions. Are there any more?
• 1:09:34
  That was our three. Anyone else have questions?
• 1:09:37
  You guys did amazing. Do anything.
• 1:09:39
  That was all really good advice honestly.
• 1:09:40
  Emotionally mature, very grown. Yeah, it's hard.
• 1:09:43
  It's it's hard to be grown. It's hard to be grown.
• 1:09:45
  But it's great. It's it the benefits are
• 1:09:47
  outweigh. Honestly, I mean me love it, me
• 1:09:50
  love it personally me love it me love it.
• 1:09:51
  Like I used to really fear getting older but now I'm like
• 1:09:53
  hey, so here we are. But Ella, we close out every
• 1:09:57
  show by manifesting together. Is there anything you want to
• 1:10:00
  speak into existence here on the Lulu?
• 1:10:05
  You know what, I already feel like this is happening so I just
• 1:10:07
  want to continue and. We're expressing gratitude for
• 1:10:09
  it. My intention for this year was
• 1:10:11
  love and flow. And things are love, and things
• 1:10:15
  are flowing. Yeah, love and flow.
• 1:10:17
  So I manifest more love and flow and like I open my heart and my
• 1:10:22
  mind to the abundance that that can bring me and that also means
• 1:10:29
  responsibility with me showing up in that way as well.
• 1:10:31
  So I. Love that.
• 1:10:32
  And that goes back into you being intentional about
• 1:10:34
  everything too. Love and flow, what about yours?
• 1:10:37
  I'm going to claim love and flow as well.
• 1:10:39
  I think what I'm manifesting right now, not as deep and
• 1:10:42
  poetic and beautiful as yours. I want to make my album.
• 1:10:45
  Yeah, you will. Yeah, that's great.
• 1:10:47
  You're making your album. Period.
• 1:10:48
  And we're so much further along than the last episode, thank
• 1:10:51
  God. But I want to make the album
• 1:10:53
  actually, let me, let me deviate.
• 1:10:54
  I want to make the album peacefully.
• 1:10:55
  I want to make that one peacefully because I.
• 1:10:57
  Yes, you need to be making that album peacefully.
• 1:10:59
  Lock in, girl. Lock in.
• 1:11:00
  Like for me, I feel like I used to tell myself, like I have to
• 1:11:03
  suffer for the art to be good, but I'm like, it's like, why do
• 1:11:05
  I need to suffer? We're done being martyrs.
• 1:11:07
  Yes, absolutely. I'm tired of this martyr
• 1:11:09
  mentality bro. That's what I'm manifesting this
• 1:11:11
  year. I just really want to make sure
• 1:11:12
  like I make the best music and people connect with it and
• 1:11:14
  people hear it and I'm just really excited And honestly
• 1:11:16
  thank you for being a part of it too.
• 1:11:17
  Of course. Thank you so much.
• 1:11:19
  Like, and even when you said like you weren't taking sessions
• 1:11:21
  next month and like, you know, I'm not going to force you, but
• 1:11:23
  if you want. To no, I'm not taking artist
• 1:11:25
  sessions, all right for anybody. I love you.
• 1:11:28
  I love you too. Thank you for having me.
• 1:11:30
  Ella, thank you for being here and thank you to the Bestianas
• 1:11:34
  for watching this episode. This was your healthy dose of
• 1:11:36
  delulu so you can go live your true Lulu.
• 1:11:39
  Ella, where can the besties find you?
• 1:11:41
  The besties can find me anywhere online at Ella Collier
• 1:11:44
  ELLACOLLIERI. Love to talk to you guys, hop in
• 1:11:49
  my broadcast channel and I love to talk to you guys in the
• 1:11:51
  comments. And we're all streaming
• 1:11:53
  Dangerous. A lot of the singles are already
• 1:11:55
  out right now. Please enjoy the songs.
• 1:11:58
  We love Tululu. We're excited for the rest of
• 1:11:59
  the album too. Rah rah rah rah.
• 1:12:01
  Thank. You for having me.
• 1:12:02
  I love you guys and hey, we're all doing our best.
• 1:12:04
  Just remember that. Yeah, we need that keep.
• 1:12:06
  Doing your best, girl. And besties, if you love this
• 1:12:08
  episode, be sure to follow the podcast on Spotify, hit the bell
• 1:12:11
  button to be notified of every new episode, every Dululu
• 1:12:13
  Thursday. And if you guys can do me a
• 1:12:15
  massive favor and rate the show. 5 stars. 5 stars.
• 1:12:19
  Ellen, I will personally be your personal cheerleader.
• 1:12:22
  Rah rah, I'm gonna shake my 5 stars.
• 1:12:24
  Period YOUYOU period and besties.
• 1:12:28
  If you want more of this podcast, you can join my pastors
• 1:12:30
  besties community at the top of my page and you can find me at
• 1:12:32
  emotions E period MO period TIONS across all platforms as
• 1:12:35
  well as exclusive podcast account at delulu BFF.
• 1:12:38
  Stay to the Lulu besties. Bye, love you.
• 1:12:41
  Love you slay love. Ya.