Latest / The Burnout Podcast with Fexingo: Workplace Exhaustion, Recovery, and Sustainable Careers / How Unprocessed Emotions Drive Career Burnout Faster Than Overwork
Transcript
- Lucas: We talk a lot on this show about overwork as the main cause of burnout. Long hours, too many meetings, no breaks. And that's real. Luna: Yeah, that's the default story. But I think there's something else that's just as draining, maybe more, that we don't talk about nearly enough. Lucas: What I'm getting at is the emotional side. Specifically, the energy cost of suppressing what you actually feel during the workday. Frustration, guilt, resentment — you push it down to stay professional, but that push has a physiological price. Luna: And that's not just a vague idea. There's actual data on this. Lucas: A 2025 study from the University of Zurich tracked cortisol levels in workers across an eight-hour shift. People who reported habitually suppressing their emotions — smiling through annoyance, keeping quiet when they were upset — had cortisol spikes that were 34% higher by end of day compared to people who processed their feelings more openly. That's not a small difference. Luna: 34% is huge. And cortisol isn't just a stress hormone — it messes with sleep, focus, even your immune system over time. So if you're suppressing emotions all day, you're essentially running a low-grade stress marathon. Lucas: Look, if this podcast has helped you think through a career move or a tough workplace situation, and if it's worth a coffee to you, the link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. That's buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's the smallest way to keep this show ad-free and coming out every day. Luna: And it really does make a difference. We've had listeners say they appreciate not having ad breaks. So if you're one of them, that's the way to support it. Lucas: So back to that Zurich study. The researchers also found that the emotional suppression didn't just raise cortisol — it also increased self-reported decision fatigue by about 20%. Because every time you hold back an emotion, your brain is running a little conflict: 'Do I say this? Don't say this. How do I say it?' That uses glucose and willpower. Luna: That makes so much sense with what we know about ego depletion. Every suppressed feeling is a micro-decision. And if you're in a job where you have to be 'on' all the time — customer service, management, sales — you're making hundreds of those micro-decisions a day. Lucas: Right. So the question becomes: what do you do with those emotions instead of suppressing them? The answer isn't 'vent to your boss' or 'cry at your desk.' There's a middle ground. Luna: I've heard of something called micro-processing. It's basically a 90-second pause where you name the emotion you're feeling. Just label it. 'I'm frustrated.' 'I'm disappointed.' That act of labeling can reduce the amygdala's activation. Lucas: Exactly. The Zurich study actually tested a version of that. They had one group do a brief processing exercise after a stressful event — write down what they felt for 90 seconds — and compared them to a group that just carried on. The processing group had significantly lower cortisol 30 minutes later. Their emotional recovery was faster. Luna: I love that because it's not therapy. It's just a quick check-in. You don't need to solve the feeling, you just acknowledge it. Lucas: And you can do it in a bathroom stall or at your desk with your notebook closed. I've tried it — after a tense call, I'll open a notes app and type 'annoyed at how that conversation went' or 'feeling pressure about the deadline.' It takes less than two minutes. Luna: Does it actually change anything? I mean, after you type it, you still have the same deadline or the same difficult coworker. Lucas: The change isn't in the external situation — it's in your body. When you suppress, your nervous system stays in a state of alert. When you process, even briefly, you signal to your brain that the threat has been 'noted' and you can move on. The cortisol drops. Luna: So it's like closing a browser tab in your brain. You're not deleting the page, you're just not keeping it open and draining your battery. Lucas: Exactly. I talked to a customer support manager named Priya who tried this for a month. She was logging about 50-60 emotional moments per week — mostly frustration with angry callers and guilt about not being able to help everyone. She said her end-of-day exhaustion dropped noticeably. Luna: What was her process? Did she use an app or just a notebook? Lucas: She used a simple habit tracker app, but she said a sticky note would work. The key was that she did it within five minutes of the feeling. If she waited longer, the emotion had already become background noise and she'd forget. But capturing it fresh made the relief more real. Luna: There's also something about the physical act of writing or typing that helps. It's different from just thinking it. Lucas: Absolutely. The Zurich study used a writing exercise. And there's older research from Pennebaker at UT Austin showing that expressive writing — even for 15 minutes — reduces inflammation markers. The 90-second version is just a bite-sized application of that. Luna: So if someone wants to try this today, what's the simplest version? They get off a call, they feel tight in the chest. What do they do? Lucas: First, set a timer for 90 seconds. Then write down or say to yourself: 'I feel because.' For example, 'I feel frustrated because the client changed the scope again.' That's it. You don't plan a response, you don't judge the feeling. You just log it. Luna: And then what? Do you tear the paper up? Send it to a friend? Lucas: You can either close the notebook or delete the note. The act of discarding can be symbolic. Some people like to physically crumble the paper. But even just closing the app seems to work. Luna: I want to loop this back to decision fatigue. Because if every suppressed emotion is a micro-decision, then processing them actually conserves willpower. You're not spending energy holding the lid on. Lucas: Exactly. And that's why this isn't just about feeling better emotionally — it's about having more cognitive bandwidth for actual work. Priya said after about two weeks, she noticed she had more patience with difficult callers because she wasn't already depleted from suppressing earlier interactions. Luna: So it's a compounding effect. The more you process in the moment, the less you carry forward. Lucas: Right. And there's a recovery ritual piece too. At the end of the day, doing a quick 'emotional download' — listing the three strongest emotions you felt and what triggered them — can help you transition out of work mode. That's similar to what we've talked about with post-work rituals. Luna: And that download could take just three minutes. Then you close your laptop and you're actually done, mentally. Lucas: One thing the Zurich study highlighted is that people who habitually suppress emotions also report higher levels of emotional exhaustion at the end of the quarter. It's not just daily — it accumulates. So developing this micro-processing habit could be a long-term resilience strategy. Luna: It's almost like emotional hygiene. You brush your teeth twice a day to prevent cavities. You do a 90-second emotional check-in to prevent burnout cavities. Lucas: That's the metaphor I'm going to steal. Emotional hygiene. And it's free, it's private, and it takes less time than brushing your teeth. Luna: I think the hardest part is remembering to do it. Especially when you're in the thick of it. You're annoyed, you just want to push through. Lucas: That's why Pavlovian triggers help. Attach it to something you already do. Every time you hang up the phone, do a 90-second log. Or every time you close a browser tab. It becomes automatic after a week or two. Luna: Do you think this works for positive emotions too? Like if you're excited about a project, should you process that? Lucas: You can. The research mostly focuses on negative emotions because they're more draining. But positive emotions benefit from savoring — naming 'I'm proud of how that presentation went' can amplify the good feeling. And that also builds resilience. Luna: So really, it's about being mindful of your emotional state throughout the day. Not letting it run on autopilot. Lucas: Exactly. And this ties into a broader shift I'm seeing in workplace wellness. Companies are starting to talk about 'psychological safety' and 'emotional culture.' But the individual practice still matters. You can't just rely on your manager to create a safe space. Luna: You have to create safety for yourself first. Even if it's just in a 90-second private note. Lucas: So here's the takeaway: if you're feeling burned out but you're not working insane hours, look at your emotional load. How often are you suppressing frustration or guilt or disappointment? Try a day of micro-processing and see if your end-of-day energy is different. Luna: I'm going to try it tomorrow. I already know my trigger — it's after our morning editorial meeting when I want to say something but I hold back. I'll set a 90-second timer. Lucas: Let us know how it goes. I'll do the same. And if you're listening, give it a shot. It might be the smallest habit change that makes the biggest difference.