Latest / The Parenting Podcast / Parenting Hacks: Beat Summer Boredom | Ep. 127

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Parenting Hacks: Beat Summer Boredom | Ep. 127 · The Parenting Podcast

• 0:05
  Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Parenting Podcast.
• 0:11
  I'm your host, Cheryl Lang, and it's wonderful to have you here.
• 0:16
  Summer is upon us.
• 0:18
  Bringing both excitement and perhaps a little bit of anxiety for many parents.
• 0:24
  As the days grow warmer and longer, summer presents a unique opportunity for families to bond, have fun, and create lasting memories.
• 0:35
  But how can we make the most of this time?
• 0:38
  How do we keep our children active and learning without breaking the bank?
• 0:44
  Today we're diving into some creative and budget friendly ways to keep our kids engaged and entertained.
• 0:51
  From fun outdoor activities to learning opportunities.
• 0:55
  that don't feel like school, no matter what the ages of your children.
• 1:00
  Let's explore together how we can make these summer months enjoyable and fulfilling for both you and your kids.
• 1:09
  Here we go.
• 1:16
  Christie: So I've been, you know, assessing all of my life changes.
• 1:20
  Christie: Yes, you haven't slept a lot.
• 1:21
  Christie: Everything is, it's like every day I'm realizing something new that's different.
• 1:26
  Christie: Because you just graduated.
• 1:27
  Christie: Because my fourth, and final, graduate.
• 1:30
  Christie: Your baby.
• 1:30
  Christie: So yes.
• 1:32
  Christie: And I was thinking, you know, I, I, Like I said, I keep thinking of all the implications of that and realizing this is my first summer because I had my first daughter when I was 19.
• 1:41
  Christie: So right after out of high school, this is my first summer to not be on summer vacation, like summer break from school and have the fall semester coming at me.
• 1:51
  Christie: And it's just a different perspective.
• 1:53
  Christie: I'm joining the rest of the world.
• 1:56
  Cheryl: Well, in a similar way, it's the same with because my daughter just got her master's and graduated, so I don't have any spring and fall breaks or anything.
• 2:09
  Cheryl: The same thing.
• 2:10
  Cheryl: The school
• 2:10
  Christie: year calendar just dominates our mindset and then it doesn't.
• 2:15
  Cheryl: Well, you know, parents say, Oh, what do we do with summer?
• 2:20
  Cheryl: whether
• 2:20
  Carol: or not full time employed or single parent, all parents still have children at home that are off during the summer.
• 2:27
  Carol: What about if we kind of look at it and bring some ideas to the table?
• 2:32
  Carol: Uh, there's no deep philosophical here, except we would say, how about, Use and invest your summer.
• 2:39
  Carol: Yeah, I love that.
• 2:40
  Carol: But we want to do that instead of just survive the heat and get through it and then get back to the structure that for most of us fall brings
• 2:48
  Christie: Yeah.
• 2:48
  Cheryl: So, how
• 2:49
  Ellen: about a few good ones?
• 2:50
  Ellen: Yeah, because I think that's the whole point of summer.
• 2:52
  Ellen: is not to be over structured.
• 2:55
  Ellen: You want to plan some things, but that's part of the joy of childhood is kind of have, whether they're coming out of school for, for summer break, or you, uh, educate at home and you decide to take that as your break.
• 3:10
  Ellen: There's something about it because usually you'll take a vacation if you can, or you'll be able to go to the pool, or you'll be able to do things that aren't as restrictive, because the weather's nice
• 3:22
  Christie: you're up a little later, you
• 3:25
  Ellen: know, and the nights are longer and, and so I think, you know, summer's a really important time to have some structure, but not having structure is also really good.
• 3:35
  Christie: Well, and there's, there's intentionality in that too.
• 3:38
  Christie: We're teaching our kids there's, there's time to play, there's time to work, you know, that we need to have those rhythms in life and there, and there's a time to rest.
• 3:46
  Ellen: And you get to be creative in the summer that you might have because you're so structured during the school year and everything.
• 3:52
  Ellen: And the summer is that freedom where you can do a lot
• 3:55
  Cheryl: of things.
• 3:56
  Christie: Well, I think summer is also a really good time to, um, just prioritize connection in our families.
• 4:03
  Christie: And, you know, like I said, we're up a little later, we have looser schedules and a little more freedom.
• 4:09
  Christie: We're not, things aren't as rigid as through the school year.
• 4:13
  Christie: Uh, maybe taking vacations and that's just, I think, a lot of sweet memories in our family of, you know, sitting and watching ladybugs crawl and letting the popsicle run down your arm and, and just sitting on the curb and chatting with your kiddos instead of the rush, rush, rush to every activity.
• 4:31
  Ellen: Spontaneous.
• 4:32
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 4:33
  Ellen: Things.
• 4:33
  Ellen: You can be spontaneous about life.
• 4:35
  Cheryl: And, uh, so, there are just not as many things that happen.
• 4:41
  Cheryl: A lot of, um, groups take the summer off.
• 4:44
  Cheryl: Mm hmm.
• 4:44
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 4:44
  Cheryl: More sports.
• 4:46
  Cheryl: Uh, no.
• 4:46
  Cheryl: Baseball, I think, still goes on.
• 4:48
  Cheryl: They're just a little more time.
• 4:50
  Cheryl: Mm hmm.
• 4:51
  Cheryl: What about if we kind of look at the different ages again, we often do that, the littles, the middles, and then our teens, what are some suggestions and ways ideas for parents, to invest that time or, a focus of the way they see it rather than, Let's just get through it, do a bunch of camps because we do want to encourage parents to use that summertime, even with flexibility, right?
• 5:19
  Ellen: Well, I always think a little bit of planning goes a long way.
• 5:22
  Ellen: So if you say, okay, these are the few weeks we have where we can do some stuff.
• 5:26
  Ellen: What are some of our main plans we want to do now?
• 5:29
  Ellen: we were going to talk about young children, like ages three to seven.
• 5:32
  other: Yeah.
• 5:32
  Ellen: And.
• 5:33
  Ellen: You need a little bit of planning in there just for everybody's safety and sanity.
• 5:37
  Ellen: But I just think it's a time for parents as well as the kids to relax.
• 5:42
  Ellen: We all need downtime and whatever that means.
• 5:45
  Ellen: If that just means here's a bunch of paints in the middle of the table.
• 5:49
  Ellen: And please paint or Okay,
• 5:51
  Cheryl: What I like what you're saying because what I hear from a lot of parents is we don't know what to do with all the time.
• 5:57
  Christie: Right.
• 5:57
  Cheryl: Because we all know the default in our culture now will be screens.
• 6:01
  Cheryl: Right.
• 6:02
  Cheryl: Sure.
• 6:02
  Cheryl: And, and they go, what do we do besides screens?
• 6:05
  Cheryl: And see, I liked what you just said.
• 6:06
  Cheryl: Well,
• 6:07
  Ellen: because I'm a pre screen parent.
• 6:08
  Ellen: Yeah, I know.
• 6:10
  Ellen: So for the sake of your sanity, or at least mine, I always planned what we were going to do and I had a really cool book and I think probably I've gone through two volumes of it.
• 6:20
  Ellen: I think maybe some of my kids have had in and I, uh, it's called how to make a rainbow
• 6:26
  other: and it's,
• 6:27
  Ellen: I'm sure it's still out there because it's just a book chocked full of creative ideas for kids about four to 10.
• 6:35
  Ellen: So I would just use that book as, oh, okay, today we're going to do this.
• 6:38
  Ellen: idea.
• 6:39
  Ellen: I'd make sure I'd have some of the supplies needed to do that.
• 6:43
  Ellen: So we had at least one thing during the day that was kind of structured and the kids knew we're, okay, we're gonna, we're gonna build, um, a castle in the middle of the table.
• 6:53
  Cheryl: See and, and even building Because we do have a little more time and not quite so many activities, for example, building a fort out back, not, uh, 6, 000, somebody comes in and builds something, but actually give your kids the materials to build, or when they were younger, You talk about build it.
• 7:15
  Cheryl: We would build, let them build a fort with sheets and boxes and things like that.
• 7:20
  Cheryl: And then the sofa was and then leave it up and let them play with it because it was just flexibility.
• 7:28
  Cheryl: Yeah, particularly because of screens.
• 7:31
  Cheryl: But the idea of mom, I'm bored that parents to bring in ideas and You've done a lot of things.
• 7:38
  Cheryl: You said you used to have like a, was that where you had the Popsicle sticks and you could pull out and have ideas?
• 7:44
  Christie: Yeah.
• 7:44
  Christie: I forgot we did that.
• 7:45
  Christie: We had, yeah, a jar of Popsicle sticks that we wrote activities on and yeah, and I, you know, of course was intentional on what I put in there, things that I was prepared want to do because, you know, and then I'd say the bigger things that took more effort for just surprises that I give my kids.
• 8:02
  Christie: Yeah.
• 8:02
  Christie: But those were always things you know, that didn't take a lot of money or planning or it was just when those I'm bored started coming out.
• 8:09
  Christie: I could say, let's draw from the stick jar and because, you know, it's.
• 8:15
  Christie: Um, this age group I feel like might be the hardest age group for summer in the way that life doesn't really change.
• 8:23
  Christie: They're not sleeping in.
• 8:25
  Christie: You're, you know, the, the parents of this age group might be thinking relaxed, no, not much changes.
• 8:30
  Christie: The baby still wakes up at night and the toddler still throws tantrums and all of those things don't really change in the summer for this age group.
• 8:38
  Christie: So you kind of have to be intentional about.
• 8:40
  Christie: And
• 8:40
  Ellen: really good point and don't get frustrated that my life's the same right now.
• 8:44
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 8:44
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 8:45
  Ellen: You know.
• 8:45
  Cheryl: But if we're going up, you know, talking six years old, four and six years old, they have a lot of energy.
• 8:52
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 8:53
  Cheryl: And so, I think, how can we channel it and find actual things for them to do?
• 8:59
  Cheryl: And, uh, a mom came to me a few weeks ago and said, Can you help me structure this?
• 9:04
  Cheryl: How do I do it?
• 9:05
  Cheryl: And, uh, she is now a stay at home mom.
• 9:09
  Cheryl: But so we started talking about what I did is blocks of time and then there's free time that they could figure out what they want to do.
• 9:17
  Cheryl: But we had different blocks of what they were required to do or, you know, there was a time where everybody, we read books a lot,
• 9:26
  other: right?
• 9:26
  Cheryl: So when my kids were home in the summer, we had time where we read books, we did art.
• 9:31
  Cheryl: We did outside and she have a pool.
• 9:34
  Cheryl: So she's got built in that just built in exercise and so forth.
• 9:39
  Cheryl: So her kids go from four to 12 or something.
• 9:43
  Cheryl: So we were just looking at doing different time blocks.
• 9:46
  Cheryl: But again, intentionality.
• 9:47
  Christie: And if you're a family that both parents work, you may want to do that on assigned nights.
• 9:51
  Christie: You might want to have themed nights or weekends, you know, on Saturday mornings we do this, on Tuesday nights we do this, and be able to incorporate different kinds of things that way.
• 10:01
  Ellen: Well, I always had an ethnic night,
• 10:03
  Christie: meaning,
• 10:04
  Ellen: like, This is Wednesday night and it's Mexican food night and Mexican day.
• 10:09
  Ellen: Okay.
• 10:09
  Ellen: So we would kind of study.
• 10:10
  Ellen: That's a neat way to learn about different cultures.
• 10:12
  Ellen: Yes, study the culture.
• 10:13
  Ellen: I mean, you had to kind of really start digging, you know, but it, you know, so I would plan a meal around, you know, this is what, um, Polish people do and this is what they eat and so we would have maybe the whole week.
• 10:25
  Ellen: It was almost like a unit Yeah, you know where that but it was relaxed.
• 10:29
  Ellen: Yeah, not but
• 10:30
  Cheryl: not like studying it You know,
• 10:32
  Ellen: we might read a book depending on their ages by a polish author.
• 10:36
  Ellen: Oh and listen to polish music I mean that was That was our kids were like, Oh, what night is this?
• 10:45
  Ellen: And, and if you just put a little effort, you don't have to do it every week.
• 10:49
  Ellen: I think maybe I only did it, maybe I did it twice a month, you know, so it wasn't too much.
• 10:54
  Christie: That's good because I'm thinking, you know, there might be a parent listening saying, wait a minute, you were talking about being relaxed.
• 11:00
  Christie: And now you're talking about planning a cultural experience every night.
• 11:04
  Christie: And so, yeah, I think having a few things planned.
• 11:08
  Christie: Yeah, and then.
• 11:10
  Christie: Margin planned for boredom and relaxing.
• 11:14
  Christie: In fact, when we're recording this, we just had Mother's Day and my kids were, we always say our favorite memories of the person that's being honored on birthdays or holidays or whatever.
• 11:23
  Christie: And so one of the things my kids said was that they loved, which I did not think this was the case when that was happening, they loved how, looking back, I would let them be bored.
• 11:34
  Christie: And, and have them play outside even though they were like, I'm bored, there's nothing to do.
• 11:38
  Christie: It's hot.
• 11:38
  Christie: I want a drink.
• 11:39
  Christie: And I would let them sit in that discomfort and then they'd eventually start digging in the dirt or playing mermaids or whatever they were doing.
• 11:47
  Christie: And I laughed because I thought, gosh, at the time I felt so guilty.
• 11:51
  Christie: I thought, oh, I should be more fun.
• 11:53
  Christie: I should have something planned.
• 11:54
  Christie: My kids are bored.
• 11:55
  Christie: And of course the temptation was to turn on the TV and entertain them that way.
• 12:00
  Christie: Um, Yeah.
• 12:00
  Christie: But that they see it now, in their 20s, as a blessing is a surprise to me.
• 12:05
  Cheryl: Uh, what was it about, you had a window and it was like a storefront or something?
• 12:10
  Cheryl: Oh, this was funny.
• 12:11
  Christie: We had a window in our dining area that went out into the backyard.
• 12:17
  Christie: And it didn't have a screen on it, probably because my kids took the screen off.
• 12:21
  Christie: But, uh, Um, they, one of their favorite things in the summer was to open that window and it was called the Snack Shack.
• 12:27
  Christie: And they would serve each other lunch.
• 12:29
  Christie: They'd take orders and, uh, you know, have a little menu with the pricing and all of that.
• 12:35
  Christie: And, and that was all every summer for years and years.
• 12:38
  Christie: Well, not too long ago, we, my, one of my daughters is a barista at a local coffee shop.
• 12:43
  Christie: And so my other daughter was in town visiting.
• 12:45
  Christie: So we went in to see her at work.
• 12:48
  Christie: And I was standing behind my kids watching them order from my barista daughter.
• 12:53
  Christie: And one of my girls turns and she's like, this is just like the snack shack.
• 12:56
  Christie: Well, they're all in their 20s now, but it was just hilarious that they were reenacting it in real life.
• 13:02
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 13:02
  Cheryl: So I'm listening to this thinking about, we said, what an investment of memories and bonding and relationship, just a little intentionality.
• 13:12
  Cheryl: and creativity on your part.
• 13:14
  Cheryl: I love that.
• 13:14
  Cheryl: Very
• 13:15
  Christie: little,
• 13:15
  Cheryl: honestly.
• 13:16
  Cheryl: My children
• 13:16
  Christie: thought of most of it.
• 13:18
  Christie: But that's the case is, you know, the things that we did very few times are some of my kids favorite memories that they would call traditions.
• 13:27
  Christie: Like, we went to the drive in every summer, just like, it's probably 45 minutes away, the drive in movies.
• 13:33
  other: Yeah.
• 13:33
  other: And
• 13:34
  Christie: we'd go one time, and there were years that we didn't make it at all, but you would think it was Christmas.
• 13:39
  Christie: I mean, the way that they talk about those memories, and it really took zero effort.
• 13:44
  Christie: It was just one night out of 365 of the year, but it's a huge memory for them, which is It's refreshing for my, you know, my mama
• 13:54
  Cheryl: brain that doesn't always think of things.
• 13:56
  Cheryl: And y'all also have a lot of movie nights.
• 13:58
  Cheryl: Your family has designated movie nights, I think, don't you?
• 14:02
  Cheryl: I mean, regularly?
• 14:03
  Cheryl: We have game nights.
• 14:04
  Cheryl: Oh, it's
• 14:04
  Christie: game nights.
• 14:05
  Christie: That's right.
• 14:06
  Christie: Yeah, we do monthly game nights with extended family.
• 14:08
  Christie: We did
• 14:09
  Ellen: movie nights.
• 14:09
  Christie: See?
• 14:10
  Ellen: Especially when they started having like Blockbuster back in the day.
• 14:12
  Ellen: Oh, yeah.
• 14:13
  Ellen: Blockbuster.
• 14:14
  Ellen: Then you could actually pick.
• 14:16
  Christie: Yeah.
• 14:16
  Christie: And
• 14:16
  Ellen: everybody
• 14:17
  Christie: could get excited.
• 14:18
  Christie: Right.
• 14:18
  Christie: Now everyone just sits and scrolls through the streaming and figures out what to watch.
• 14:22
  Cheryl: Well one other thing both of y'all, we've mentioned here is food.
• 14:26
  Cheryl: And I think summertime is a really great idea to start teaching your children about how to cook and in the kitchen.
• 14:33
  Cheryl: Oh, that's great.
• 14:33
  Cheryl: Because if we have a little bit more time and particularly If you're
• 14:37
  Carol: employed your children need to learn how to get around the kitchen.
• 14:41
  Carol: So, uh, like you did the ethnic foods.
• 14:45
  Carol: I think teaching your children basic cooking things so they can offer it at the snack shop.
• 14:50
  Carol: Right, right.
• 14:51
  Carol: But maybe, and particularly as they get older,, that they have a responsibility for a certain night.
• 14:57
  Carol: And they have to do, even if it's mac and cheese.
• 15:01
  Carol: That they learn their way around the kitchen because you start developing confidence.
• 15:05
  Carol: Survival skills.
• 15:07
  Carol: And confidence.
• 15:09
  Carol: And, um, it's interesting.
• 15:13
  Carol: I didn't realize how equipping that was to my children.
• 15:16
  Carol: Letting different ones cook different things and there were some very creative meals that we came up with.
• 15:23
  Carol: But in their adulthood, They're very confident in trying new and different things all the time because they were, uh, had clipped, they were equipped,
• 15:34
  Cheryl: not
• 15:35
  Carol: how to fix beef bourguignon or something like that, but they're not afraid to try new things, ethnic, try all of that, just time in the kitchen.
• 15:45
  Carol: Right, to explore.
• 15:47
  Ellen: That's what we did when our kids were teens.
• 15:49
  Ellen: They all had one night assigned to them.
• 15:52
  Ellen: That's great.
• 15:52
  Ellen: That they had to cook.
• 15:53
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 15:54
  Ellen: So that worked out really, really nicely.
• 15:56
  Ellen: I mean, occasionally, you know, a son would serve you green macaroni and cheese, but, you know, Oh, that's so funny.
• 16:04
  Ellen: That's just kind of like, Oh, thanks.
• 16:06
  Ellen: And we all, I think
• 16:12
  Christie: another fun thing about summer is, is all of the, um, in our area, we always have a lot of the farmer's market and art festivals and, and outdoor music.
• 16:22
  Christie: And my kids always really loved going to those types of things.
• 16:26
  Christie: A lot of times it's free fun and that's always nice.
• 16:29
  Christie: And, you know, we would go to the arts festival or the farmer's market and I'd kind of make my kids.
• 16:34
  Christie: Talk to the artists or the farmers and ask questions and explore, you know, different things that way to it.
• 16:41
  Christie: It's just a good season for exploring and learning new
• 16:45
  Cheryl: things.
• 16:45
  Cheryl: So I'm listening to you as if I were listening to the episode, and I'm thinking what I would say here is that.
• 16:51
  Cheryl: This is why the parents have got to have margin.
• 16:54
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 16:54
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 16:55
  Cheryl: Because somewhere you have to get the time.
• 16:57
  Cheryl: So you have the bandwidth to be able to think, I'm not just going to go to work and come home or do whatever and shut down.
• 17:06
  Cheryl: And let everybody just get on their screens, but let's intentionally do this.
• 17:11
  Christie: That's true because we, we did, uh, all my girls danced all growing up and we would sometimes take summer breaks from dance class because it could fill up your every night.
• 17:22
  Christie: I mean, it was just, and so our Saturday mornings, we would often go to the farmer's market or do things like that then because our, you know, Our weeks, our weeknights weren't packed so full that we were able to, and then sometimes I did sign us up for all the things, and I was slave to the schedule, I'd think why did I do this?
• 17:42
  Ellen: And I think at some point kids don't like that either.
• 17:44
  Ellen: You know, they want, it's just natural that everybody wants a little, you know, a little Time of downtime and that's where you're going to get your most creative moments in your children where they're going to think through You know, I know in the summer we always required reading you had to have a reading book Uh huh, you know because we were big readers in our family So but our kids didn't think of it as punishment or anything, but they had to have you know Downtime right that we said every day You Well, that's good,
• 18:16
  Christie: and you can do, make it fun, too.
• 18:17
  Christie: We always did the library's reading program, and they had incentives that you could earn prizes.
• 18:22
  Christie: Yep,
• 18:23
  Ellen: our kids love that.
• 18:23
  Christie: Um, yeah, it was a huge, huge hit, because if you got free ice cream that made Pizza
• 18:28
  Ellen: Hut.
• 18:29
  Ellen: Yes.
• 18:29
  Ellen: They were big sponsors of that, so
• 18:31
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 18:32
  Cheryl: Well, and some people can afford really big trips.
• 18:36
  Cheryl: Uh, I view trips and vacations as different things.
• 18:43
  Cheryl: Okay, a trip is go and do and do and do.
• 18:46
  Cheryl: To go to Disneyland is a trip.
• 18:50
  Cheryl: Okay, because you come back more tired than when you went.
• 18:53
  Cheryl: Had a lot of fun.
• 18:54
  Cheryl: Right.
• 18:54
  Cheryl: Okay, and I see a vacation as maybe, My definition is more restorative,
• 19:00
  Ellen: but it's
• 19:00
  Cheryl: more fun.
• 19:01
  Ellen: Well, like going to the beach, renting maybe a place to stay for a couple days, and you just lay around.
• 19:07
  Cheryl: Yeah, or going to a state park or, you know, you know, staycations, more simple.
• 19:14
  Cheryl: It doesn't have to be a whole lot of money and a whole lot of But I would encourage parents to prepare for it because it's one thing to take a six year old boy to the, to the woods.
• 19:28
  Cheryl: He's, six year old boys are going to connect well.
• 19:31
  Cheryl: But if you've got teens, we need to be prepared.
• 19:34
  Cheryl: You need to be thinking what you're going to do so that you're also, Incorporating them and what they want to do and how they enjoy it.
• 19:44
  Cheryl: Um, and that's why I'd have the conversations.
• 19:48
  Cheryl: Hey, what do you want to do?
• 19:49
  Cheryl: What would you like instead of they're just coming along rolling their eyes, because they haven't been considered.
• 19:57
  Cheryl: It's more focused on the young ones who embrace it a little more.
• 20:00
  Ellen: We always told our kids that, you know, cause I remember a couple of times, our kids are like, are we going to take a vacation?
• 20:05
  Ellen: And I said, no, we live a vacation because we're military.
• 20:09
  Ellen: So we're moving every three years.
• 20:12
  Ellen: So we got to go to a new place.
• 20:14
  Ellen: Right.
• 20:15
  Ellen: This is your vacation.
• 20:15
  Ellen: Yes.
• 20:18
  Ellen: We lived in Hawaii and the Philippines and lots of fun places.
• 20:21
  Ellen: That is funny.
• 20:22
  Ellen: But it was like, they were like, Oh, I guess.
• 20:25
  Cheryl: Well, what did your daughter say to you?
• 20:29
  Cheryl: She was a young teen, and you went to Disneyland, and the day you got back, what did she flop on your bed and say?
• 20:37
  Cheryl: She goes,
• 20:37
  Ellen: we never do anything fun.
• 20:39
  Ellen: Oh, goodnight.
• 20:40
  Ellen: And she was, I think she was about 11 or 12.
• 20:42
  Ellen: And I looked at her and I said, I don't know.
• 20:44
  Ellen: We just got home from Disneyland in like three days and then she just went, Oh,
• 20:49
  Christie: right.
• 20:51
  Christie: Oh man.
• 20:52
  Christie: And it can be anything.
• 20:53
  Christie: I mean, my kids were like that.
• 20:54
  Christie: If we went, we could wake up and go get doughnuts and go to the library and then get Chick fil A and then go to the pool and then come home and then they say, I'm bored or, you know, summer too.
• 21:03
  Christie: If you're home all day, it's notorious for the I'm hungries.
• 21:08
  Christie: It's like another snack, another meal, another Popsicle, another snack, another meal.
• 21:12
  Christie: And it's just, it can feel, those days can feel long.
• 21:15
  Christie: Well I did the
• 21:15
  Ellen: old school, if you're bored, here's a list of chores you can do.
• 21:19
  Ellen: Right, that's always a good one.
• 21:21
  Ellen: That usually cured it really quick.
• 21:23
  Ellen: You
• 21:23
  Christie: know, Cheryl, you talked about teens, and I think summer and teens can be hard sometimes.
• 21:29
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 21:30
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 21:30
  Christie: Um, because, you know, I know my, my years, my summers with teens, I'd still be up at six or seven and tapping my toe and waiting for them to wake up, which was like after I've already had two meals, they're waking up and, and then they want to stay up late.
• 21:46
  Christie: Yes, and yeah, exactly.
• 21:48
  Christie: And, and they aren't always impressed with your ideas.
• 21:51
  Christie: You know, they don't want to go to the zoo anymore.
• 21:54
  Christie: They don't want to do the things that you have, have done in years past.
• 21:58
  Christie: But, I don't know, I just encourage parents to do it anyway.
• 22:01
  Christie: You know, just do it.
• 22:02
  Christie: Just keep doing the things, even if they do roll their eyes, and even if they do seem like they're uninterested, because I think they still care that you make the effort.
• 22:12
  Cheryl: Well, I just think looking for ways that they would enjoy bonding with the family and bringing them into the discussion.
• 22:21
  Cheryl: What can we do?
• 22:21
  Cheryl: As much as you
• 22:22
  Ellen: can because I think the teen years are difficult because they go, I don't want to do anything.
• 22:28
  Ellen: I don't feel like doing anything.
• 22:28
  Ellen: I don't want to do that.
• 22:30
  Ellen: You know, so sometimes you just have to go, Hey, um, we're going to the zoo today.
• 22:33
  Ellen: You know, why don't you get some stuff ready?
• 22:36
  Ellen: If you want to invite a friend along, whatever.
• 22:39
  Christie: I think that's a big key, is inviting friends along.
• 22:41
  Christie: If you always let the friends come, they will much more likely want to come with you.
• 22:46
  Christie: You know, take them for lunch, or And it'll be funnier to them.
• 22:49
  Ellen: They go to the zoo with a friend, you know, and they walk a little ahead of you, or they walk to another part of the zoo, and they're with their friend, they're going to meet up with you in an hour, and everybody has a good time.
• 22:58
  Ellen: Mm
• 22:59
  Cheryl: hmm.
• 22:59
  Cheryl: Well, and a while back we talked about, um, a dad that had contacted, us and said, wow, we went on a vacation, and
• 23:07
  Carol: his son invited his girlfriend with him.
• 23:09
  Carol: It was an older just 19.
• 23:12
  Carol: And he was saying, wow, he wanted to spend all his time with his girlfriend.
• 23:14
  Carol: Well, that's a totally different issue.
• 23:17
  Carol: To respect that in teens, that instead of buddy buddy with his 10, a six year old little brother and sister, that he's going to want to connect with the teens.
• 23:26
  Carol: It is that social relationship has become really important.
• 23:31
  Carol: Well, you want
• 23:32
  Ellen: your teens to want to come to your house, right?
• 23:35
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 23:35
  Ellen: And so you've got to be the kind of.
• 23:37
  Ellen: parents that are embracing of the kids they bring home.
• 23:40
  Ellen: Yes.
• 23:40
  Ellen: But you know, so I always tried to make our home the hub.
• 23:44
  Ellen: All the kids came to our home.
• 23:46
  Ellen: I usually fed everybody.
• 23:47
  Ellen: I stocked the fridge with drinks.
• 23:49
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 23:49
  Ellen: It's fun
• 23:50
  Cheryl: and food.
• 23:51
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 23:51
  Cheryl: What they want to come.
• 23:52
  Cheryl: And you don't
• 23:52
  Ellen: even really have to plan anything.
• 23:54
  Ellen: Right.
• 23:54
  Ellen: Because if they've got food, they're usually happy.
• 23:57
  Christie: And this is something I was thinking about.
• 23:59
  Christie: Right.
• 23:59
  Christie: Yeah.
• 24:00
  Christie: Last summer and it may not feel like you're making real connection and there's relationship building
• 24:06
  Ellen: Yeah,
• 24:07
  Christie: but it's also a really good way to do some Curious research, you know to become students of your teen and being around their friends And yep, you know, not being nosy and eavesdropping but listening to the conversations They're having and and being more aware of what's going on What are they saying they want to do and what music are they listening to and hey, I'll tell me more about this this artist I want to hear about it.
• 24:31
  Ellen: Sometimes they're friends Are more informative about your child.
• 24:35
  Ellen: Hundred percent indirectly.
• 24:37
  Ellen: Not in a bad way.
• 24:38
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 24:39
  Ellen: But they'll go, oh, yeah, yeah.
• 24:40
  Ellen: And he, uh, she likes to do this when we go places.
• 24:43
  Ellen: Oh, she does, right.
• 24:45
  Ellen: You know, it's isn't, not, not a bad thing, it's just Oh, I didn't know that about that.
• 24:48
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 24:48
  Cheryl: Well, and I had a mother come.
• 24:50
  Cheryl: And it wasn't about directly summer activities, but having friends come over.
• 24:55
  Cheryl: And you can imagine the
• 24:57
  Carol: issue is devices.
• 25:00
  Carol: And that their family has different standards about devices.
• 25:03
  Carol: So we're not going to talk about that here, but I would say that is a conversation that you need to have if you're inviting people over.
• 25:11
  Carol: because everybody will have their device with them Your family has to figure out how you're going to handle it.
• 25:16
  Cheryl: But I'm just saying, remember, think ahead.
• 25:18
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 25:19
  Cheryl: Because it is a part of it.
• 25:21
  Cheryl: And the same when you go do activities, parents included?
• 25:25
  Cheryl: How are you going to handle devices when you're having your fun summer activities?
• 25:29
  Ellen: Right.
• 25:29
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 25:30
  Ellen: Right.
• 25:30
  Christie: I think they're, with teens though, and I say this, this very lightly, don't, don't take it forever, but there is an element of if you can't beat them, join them.
• 25:40
  Christie: Yeah.
• 25:40
  Christie: I mean, it, it, The other day, my teens and twenties were sitting around and we were all doing the Wordle together in the living room and, you know, we're all on our phones, but it was a shared experience.
• 25:52
  Christie: We were all laughing.
• 25:53
  Christie: And so if you have a teen that's really hard to draw out and you can find a good, healthy way to connect, even if it is I guess I'm just trying to say don't completely throw the baby out with the bathwater because it may be that the device or the app or the YouTube video or something is a unifying experience to, to bond over.
• 26:11
  Christie: That's
• 26:12
  Cheryl: how I'd look at intentional.
• 26:13
  Cheryl: I would just say, do whatever you're going to do, but do it intentionally.
• 26:16
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 26:17
  Cheryl: And that enjoying and having fun in competitions.
• 26:20
  Cheryl: And we've done
• 26:21
  Carol: that way back When my kids were, uh, Uh, because we didn't have it all when they were all teens, but some of my kids were still teens and then in the early 20s, um, Oh, it was like, we all were on our phones and it was, I can't remember the name of it, but you would draw the pictures.
• 26:39
  Carol: It's like Pictionary.
• 26:40
  Carol: Oh yeah.
• 26:40
  Carol: You would draw the pictures and then everybody guessed it, so that you're embracing using the devices for your purposes that we're sharing And, what was the one, the Wii thing just dance.
• 26:52
  Carol: Even playing video games together and doing it all that we as parents, we're incorporating everybody and we're enjoying it.
• 26:59
  Carol: But we were all gathered around and everybody was having fun together, figuring it out.
• 27:06
  Carol: So, Devices are here, and we don't want to be the curmudgeon, and we want to embrace it, but do it with intentionality and forethought.
• 27:15
  Carol: And I was,
• 27:15
  Ellen: you know, talking about devices, now that I've got adult, or almost, well, I've got a couple of adult grandchildren and One of the fun things sometimes is we'll sit next to each other and show each other funny stuff we found on our phone.
• 27:27
  Ellen: Uh huh.
• 27:27
  Ellen: Because there's so much hilarity out there.
• 27:30
  Ellen: It doesn't have any bad stuff, but, oh, did you see that guy that fell in the water?
• 27:35
  Ellen: Yes.
• 27:35
  Ellen: And then a dog jumped on his head or, you know, and just laughing together.
• 27:39
  Christie: Right.
• 27:39
  Christie: And staying engaged and relevant is, it's going to buy you so much in the school year.
• 27:46
  Christie: You know, whenever you come out of this relaxed season, you, you're going to know what's going on.
• 27:50
  Christie: And there's so many trends I think about back on, you know, different, different seasons of my kids growing up that we could have just said, that's ridiculous.
• 27:59
  Christie: We're not doing that.
• 28:00
  Christie: But it's now they're shared experiences that they were going to participate in regardless of whether I was involved with or not.
• 28:07
  Cheryl: So we're just trying to offer y'all different ideas to
• 28:09
  Carol: consider but to say intentionality.
• 28:13
  Carol: Okay.
• 28:13
  Carol: And then laugh, look for things that make you laugh, quit being such a serious parent, worried about everything.
• 28:22
  Ellen: That was the highest compliment my kids have given me.
• 28:25
  Ellen: They said, mom, you were a really fun mom.
• 28:27
  Ellen: So I probably lacked in a lot of things,
• 28:32
  Cheryl: but to laugh together is so wonderful.
• 28:38
  Cheryl: So, use that summer vacation, use the time, and take and pick and choose what works for your family.
• 28:45
  Cheryl: Um, to look for bonding, long term, fun, silly memories.
• 28:51
  Cheryl: Well,
• 28:51
  Ellen: laughter bonds people.
• 28:52
  Ellen: It sure does.
• 28:53
  Ellen: And that's really an easy thing to do is plan some laughter and get out of serious mode.
• 28:57
  Ellen: Mm hmm.
• 28:58
  Ellen: You know.
• 28:58
  Ellen: Mm hmm.
• 28:59
  Cheryl: Good.
• 28:59
  Cheryl: Hey, this is great.
• 29:00
  Cheryl: Thank y'all.
• 29:02
  Cheryl: Uh, looking forward to summer.
• 29:03
  Cheryl: Oh, you are hot weather people.
• 29:05
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 29:07
  Cheryl: I'm
• 29:07
  Ellen: counting it down.
• 29:08
  Ellen: The end of the month, the pool opens in our neighborhood.
• 29:11
  Ellen: So
• 29:13
  Cheryl: parents remember, hang in there, keep loving, keep persevering because it's worth
• 29:19
  it.
• 29:26
  Thank you for joining us on this episode of The Parenting Podcast.
• 29:30
  We hope these ideas for a fun, budget friendly summer inspire you to make the most of these warm months with your children.
• 29:38
  Don't forget, the goal is to enjoy and bond creating lasting memories together.
• 29:45
  Think about which of these suggestions might fit best with your family's unique dynamics and summer routine.
• 29:52
  and consider how you could implement them.
• 29:56
  And is there a new tradition you might start?
• 30:00
  Remember, it's not about spending a lot of money or taking an enormous amount of time to organize something, but an opportunity for your family to simply connect, Laugh and be together.
• 30:15
  We'd love to hear your thoughts and any summer stories you'd like to share.
• 30:20
  Connect with us on our website, social media, or email us at contact at theparentingpodcast.
• 30:27
  com.
• 30:29
  Oh, and by the way, This more relaxed summer schedule might also be a great opportunity to catch up on some past episodes of TPP that you might have missed.
• 30:41
  I do hope you have a special summer filled with fun and meaningful moments, and I look forward to next time.
• 30:49
  See you then.