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Are You In An Open Relationship? · The Breakfast Club

0:00
Speaker 1: It's topic time. The phone called eight hundred five eight
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Speaker 1: five one oh five. Want to join it to the
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Speaker 1: discussion with the Breakfast Club. Talk about it morning, everybody
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Speaker 1: in CJ and V Charlomagne the guy. We are the
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Speaker 1: Breakfast Club. We have Porsche Williams here and we're talking
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Speaker 1: open relationships. Now this conversation comes from Omnia. Now Moni
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Speaker 1: said she's done with open relationship. She don't want to
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Speaker 1: have it no more. So we're asking does this work?
0:28
Speaker 1: Have you ever been in open relationship? Never? Never, It's
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Speaker 1: don't work for me. No, No, I ain't gotta ask you.
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Speaker 1: Charlo Man, I know no, I've never been in an
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Speaker 1: old relationship. I don't even know anybody who's ever been
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Speaker 1: in one. I'm interested, though, because you know, um, it
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Speaker 1: seems to be working for some people. But I wonder
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Speaker 1: is it really all right? Well? Oh, you know what,
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Speaker 1: I do remember somebody telling me they were in an
0:48
Speaker 1: open relationship. Did they say it on the show? I
0:51
Speaker 1: don't think they sit it on a show, so I
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Speaker 1: can't name them, but she said it didn't work out,
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Speaker 1: and it was on the show. They was on the show,
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Speaker 1: and they told me that they had She told me
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Speaker 1: they had been an open relationship that two men, or
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Speaker 1: she dating and he dates. She wanted she was with women. Okay,
1:05
Speaker 1: she was with women, and she wanted to continue to
1:07
Speaker 1: be with women, and so they ended up make an
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Speaker 1: agreement to continue to do that, and it didn't work
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Speaker 1: out because, you know, I think she started to get
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Speaker 1: emotionally tied with the other woman and he couldn't take it.
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Speaker 1: He didn't like it. He thought it was just gonna
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Speaker 1: be sex, and so they had to stop just having sex.
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Speaker 1: I think most I wouldn't if I would think most
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Speaker 1: men would be cool with that. Like, my wife's got
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Speaker 1: a girlfriend, you know what I mean, when it's not
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Speaker 1: what she'd fall in love with her. Now when you like, okay,
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Speaker 1: wait a minute, you really like this person. That girl
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Speaker 1: can do stuff with her tongue that you can't do. Well,
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Speaker 1: let her teach you. No, no, she can't teach you. Now,
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Speaker 1: you can't learn what a woman could do for a woman.
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Speaker 1: Most African men like to be with more than one woman.
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Speaker 1: Oh hold on, now, it's hold on that. It's a
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Speaker 1: religion thing. And my husband is Christian, so you know,
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Speaker 1: depending on what their religion is, that maybe what they follow,
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Speaker 1: you know, but no, not necessar s not all right,
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Speaker 1: Let's go to the phone line. Hello, who's this Nie Agelannie?
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Speaker 1: Now tell us about your situation. Yours is very interesting, Yeah,
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Speaker 1: y'all actually a couple of years ago. Um, but I'm
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Speaker 1: probably I've been in an over relationship but officially for
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Speaker 1: about eight years with my husband. But we have been
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Speaker 1: living together for the last eight months with my other partner,
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Speaker 1: who I've been having an a betrothed part of lation
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Speaker 1: process with. I have another baby. Is it a man about?
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Speaker 1: That's the same thing. It has to be two two
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Speaker 1: black berries men? Yes, two men. So you have two
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Speaker 1: men living in your house? Now? Yeah, we all live together,
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Speaker 1: but we live we have our own bedroom, so you know,
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Speaker 1: in secred spaces at home. We all live together. So
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Speaker 1: how do you decide which man you sleep with it
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Speaker 1: each night? I sleep by myself. I didn't get a
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Speaker 1: camera over the house. Did they run on you? No,
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Speaker 1: it's not called team. It's definitely not gonna bad. No,
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Speaker 1: not at all. We've never even anything together in that way,
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Speaker 1: Ain't she sounds like the I choose complete whoever, I
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Speaker 1: choose completement, even if it's downside of the house. Is
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Speaker 1: all ethical. I'm honest about I'm not there. Why y'all's
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Speaker 1: going on? Because the first can the first my coolthd
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Speaker 1: my children's hired because I'm Polly. But I met this
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Speaker 1: person right after my toothors hired. For the past three years,
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Speaker 1: we've been together. But now I want to have a
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Speaker 1: chiwl with him. He doesn't have a child. Oh so
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Speaker 1: that's why you want to have a chowder with him?
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Speaker 1: And what about the first husband. Did y'all talk about
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Speaker 1: having a yowl together? We have two beautiful children, Okay,
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Speaker 1: so you want to have one for the for the
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Speaker 1: new husband. Why do you explain? Y'all cheering? Y'all got
3:39
Speaker 1: too daddy, go to daddy, think kind of woods, Yeah,
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Speaker 1: and whole bunch of love. Some kids ain't got no daddy,
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Speaker 1: so at least they got two, daddy. What you're gonna
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Speaker 1: do when you come on? What you're gonna do when
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Speaker 1: you come home one day and you're gonna find both
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Speaker 1: of those What you're gonna do when you come on
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Speaker 1: one day? What you're gonna do when you come on
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Speaker 1: one day and find both of the men in bed?
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Speaker 1: Why why you go there, ignorance? I'm not asking, I'm not.
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Speaker 1: I'm not mad at her. You tell you gotta take
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Speaker 1: it there, But see, I'm not mad at it because see,
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Speaker 1: most men, when you think of like an open relationship,
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Speaker 1: this woman is the goat all right because she has
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Speaker 1: actually managed to have two men. So she got her
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Speaker 1: first husband to agree with her to have another man.
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Speaker 1: Most of the time men say, yeah, we canna have
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Speaker 1: an open relationship. Yeah exactly, And that's where I have
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Speaker 1: the problem. My husband, my husband, they sell outside of me,
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Speaker 1: my partner, they here and there, um, so they have
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Speaker 1: the capacity and the ability to date whomever they want to.
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Speaker 1: But I'm good, I'm good. They don't have to know
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Speaker 1: outside of me as you know as much as too.
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Speaker 1: So what about when the new baby comes? Are you
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Speaker 1: gonna want more commitment from the second guy? Like? Why
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Speaker 1: can't y'all just be polly? What's it called? But I
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Speaker 1: am polyamorous, but I don't lack commitment right now? So
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Speaker 1: what about can they have other women? Yeah? She said, yeah,
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Speaker 1: in relationship outside of me right now? But what if
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Speaker 1: she get pregnant? Now we got babies everywhere? How he's
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Speaker 1: going to pay for He's had an affect to me.
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Speaker 1: We're smart about this we've been doing it for a
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Speaker 1: long time. I got a headache. She said, they're smart
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Speaker 1: about it. Now, thank you, mama, Ray. That is wow,
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Speaker 1: I just got a headache. That's a headache. If she
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Speaker 1: would have if she would have stopped that, this is
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Speaker 1: I got my first husband, right, I brought my second
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Speaker 1: husband and we three are in a relationship. That's it.
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Speaker 1: We have a commitment. That's I can't understand it, but okay,
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Speaker 1: I got it. But when you say you got three men,
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Speaker 1: two men in the house and everybody's still sleep with
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Speaker 1: everybody outside of the house, that's a lot. That's a
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Speaker 1: lot of sound ties going on. I don't I don't
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Speaker 1: even know how she deal with that. Jesus, Brittany, good morning,
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Speaker 1: good morning. How are you? I'm good. You were in
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Speaker 1: an open relationship, I was what happened? Um, so basically, yeah,
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Speaker 1: he and I were dating, but I didn't really care
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Speaker 1: about like the occupation. If there were things that he
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Speaker 1: was doing that just didn't really fit what I was
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Speaker 1: looking for. So I wound up finding my current boyfriend
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Speaker 1: while I look in a relationship with and I left
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Speaker 1: him for that relationship. Damn did he know about it?
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Speaker 1: Did he know that you were still dating. Yeah, he knew.
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Speaker 1: I told him when I met my current boyfriend. See
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Speaker 1: that's and that's the problem. See, you date one guy,
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Speaker 1: you find somebody that's better, and now this guy's cool
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Speaker 1: with you dating, and then you leave him. But I
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Speaker 1: don't really know if that's considered an open relationship, because
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Speaker 1: open relationship, in my mind, what I thought the definition
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Speaker 1: was we're committed, but we sleep with other people, but
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Speaker 1: we are still always gonna come back home. Well that's
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Speaker 1: what she did, but she didn't come back home. She
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Speaker 1: was dating, and sounds like he was dating. It was
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Speaker 1: dating too, but we just I wound up finding somebody
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Speaker 1: who made more sense for me or what I was
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Speaker 1: looking for, and it no longer made sense to be
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Speaker 1: in that open relationship and continue on. This is everybody's fit.
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Speaker 1: This ain't fair. You know what I'm saying. I opened
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Speaker 1: the door a little that we supposed to be doing
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Speaker 1: this together. You leave me and move on, right, I'm
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Speaker 1: saying that ain't right. That's called monkey bar. That's holding
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Speaker 1: it on the one bar, that's one relationship and hanging
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Speaker 1: on to another one and then letting that one go.
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Speaker 1: That's what it's called monkey bar. Exactly. You learn that
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Speaker 1: the relationship expert down physical movement looking stupid like a
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Speaker 1: little bige monkey. White, little little white monkey, right monkey
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Speaker 1: five one, five one. We're talking open relationships? Are you
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Speaker 1: in one? Hasn't worked for you? Let's talk about it.
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Speaker 1: It's the breakfast Club the morning, call me to the
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Speaker 1: breakfast Club topic five five one, wanting everybody in d
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Speaker 1: ch n V Charlemagne the guy. We are the breakfast Club.
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Speaker 1: We got poorshit williams our co guest host this morning,
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Speaker 1: and we're talking open relationships. Now, this comes from Monique,
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Speaker 1: who says she's done. She does want to open relationship anymore.
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Speaker 1: So we're just asking, are you in one? How is
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Speaker 1: it working for you? Hello? Who's this? Hi? Hello? Hello?
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Speaker 1: I asked anonymous? Okay, anonymous? We got your name? No, yeah,
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Speaker 1: we definitely got your name, but we wouldn't have gonna
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Speaker 1: say Amberley, thank you. I was in an open relationship
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Speaker 1: and a half a year and our treement was essentially,
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Speaker 1: if we're gonna sleep with anybody else, we're gonna let
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Speaker 1: each other know ahead of time. Now, I never slept
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Speaker 1: with anyone out talking my relationship, not because I don't know.
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Speaker 1: We can do what let me? I just didn't want
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Speaker 1: to on three different occasions, and they two and a
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Speaker 1: half years. I found it a month after the fact
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Speaker 1: that he had gone to sex parties and essentially had
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Speaker 1: four names. Oh da. So when I mentally decided that
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Speaker 1: I was done with a relationship, I met another man
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Speaker 1: and who I actually wanted to be with. And a
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Speaker 1: month after me and him began a relationship, I told
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Speaker 1: this other guy, Hey, word relationship. I've met someone else
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Speaker 1: and had this relationships and he was begging to be
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Speaker 1: with me in all this, and I was like, well,
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Speaker 1: you wanted to be in an open relationship, and now
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Speaker 1: the open relationship with the nail in our coffin, Lord
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Speaker 1: have mercy. Now that's a real open relationship. Yeah, thank you, mama.
9:17
Speaker 1: That sounds like the movies I used to watch. What's
9:19
Speaker 1: the movie? The twave movies? They don't end well. I
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Speaker 1: ain't seeing nobody have an open relationship in the end.
9:26
Speaker 1: Well yet. Hello, who's a Hey? This is Jayton, Good morning.
9:31
Speaker 1: Stay's my birthday and rest in peace? Thiggy, Hey, it's
9:35
Speaker 1: bow Wow's birthday too, and Chinky too, Hey, happy birthday?
9:38
Speaker 1: All right, what's your what's your story? BROBM, So I
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Speaker 1: was in an open relationship. Um, and my parents are
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Speaker 1: in an open relationship, and my sisters in an open relationship,
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Speaker 1: and let me tell you say where y'all live at? Um?
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Speaker 1: You know, I think seeing in an open relationship is
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Speaker 1: an opportunity to select your communication skill and really learn
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Speaker 1: about yourself. Um. But ultimately, whoever your your main partner
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Speaker 1: is your main squeeze, you really need to dedicate all
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Speaker 1: of your energy towards them as well as finding out
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Speaker 1: about yourself. So in a way, it's a way to
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Speaker 1: get stronger in my opinion, how old are you? I'm
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Speaker 1: twenty four today. Oh so his parents are like our age.
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Speaker 1: So your parents, your parents, your mom had dudes in
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Speaker 1: the house. I mean they do now, not when I
10:28
Speaker 1: was a kid. This is more of a recent thing.
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Speaker 1: How do you look at the other dudes that's um
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Speaker 1: tapping your mom's cheeks? Jesus? I mean, I personally, the
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Speaker 1: way the way I grew up, I don't, I don't
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Speaker 1: really see it like that. You know, they're adults. I'm
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Speaker 1: an adult now, so like, whatever whatever's happening on their side,
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Speaker 1: it's really none of my business. You know. That's true?
10:52
Speaker 1: So did you start having your relationship because you knew
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Speaker 1: your parents were doing it. So it's like a normal
10:57
Speaker 1: thing for y'all because now it's gonna generation Huh. I
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Speaker 1: started with the open relationship and they followed you. Oh son,
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Speaker 1: he means now now, no, I'm sorry I miscommunicated. Yeah, now,
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Speaker 1: so you so you date? I guess you have a
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Speaker 1: relationship with a I don't want to be assump assumphious
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Speaker 1: man or woman right that I had a previously, I
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Speaker 1: had a relationship with a man and a woman. Okay, okay,
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Speaker 1: you just greedy man. But what what did you say
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Speaker 1: to your parents that made them want to open their
11:33
Speaker 1: relationship after all these years? Because I'm assuming they've been
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Speaker 1: married for twenty four years because they still together. Now,
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Speaker 1: what did you what? What'd you say to me? Open
11:41
Speaker 1: relationship sound so good? Well, it's my it's my dad
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Speaker 1: of my step mom. So I you know, I just
11:48
Speaker 1: kind of showed them, you know what it was that
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Speaker 1: that made me happy and that made me and my
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Speaker 1: little throat are happy. Um yeah, And and they I
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Speaker 1: guess they just realize, you know, they need to deflect
12:02
Speaker 1: there their communication and such with each other because they
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Speaker 1: were struggling so your dad likes that men too. Yes,
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Speaker 1: it sounds to me like everybody. It sounds to me
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Speaker 1: like everybody's exploring their shadow side. And I think that,
12:16
Speaker 1: you know, it is hard to communicate your shadow side,
12:19
Speaker 1: but if everybody is, you know, dealing with their shadow
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Speaker 1: side side, the shadow side is just like that that
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Speaker 1: I don't want to see the darkness, because dark ain't
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Speaker 1: the right world, but just those things in you that
12:29
Speaker 1: you may not speak to anybody else about, those desires
12:32
Speaker 1: you may have like this, you know what I mean.
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Speaker 1: His dad clearly wanted to be with men. He probably
12:35
Speaker 1: never feel like he could talk about it. Yeah, he's
12:39
Speaker 1: in it exactly, so not in him and his wife
12:40
Speaker 1: can talk about it. It just opens up the communication
12:42
Speaker 1: even more so. You so you took your dad out
12:45
Speaker 1: with you and turn your dad out so he was
12:47
Speaker 1: able to see that. Wow. Yeah, yeah, you don't let
12:53
Speaker 1: him tell you to turn your daddy out. He didn't
12:55
Speaker 1: turn his daddy out. His daddy been out, okay, he
12:58
Speaker 1: just was in. Yeah, I mean yeah, it just sounds
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Speaker 1: like everybody in this house is exploring their shadow self,
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Speaker 1: you know. And and to give the technical term, it's
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Speaker 1: when you are it's the uncivilized even primitive side of
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Speaker 1: your nature. And we all have a shadow what's yours?
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Speaker 1: What's your shadow side? Um? What the parts of myself
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Speaker 1: that I DM unacceptable? Yeah, that's if you could do it,
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Speaker 1: If you could approach your wife and say, this is
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Speaker 1: what I want to do, and my wife talk about
13:23
Speaker 1: the type of what I'm not sharing that with the world.
13:27
Speaker 1: Why we're not sharing something that you should keep to yourself,
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Speaker 1: having like a shadow side to something your shadow self
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Speaker 1: to realize that's part of you. Yes, but you have
13:42
Speaker 1: to you have to accept that. You have to accept
13:44
Speaker 1: yourself because if you don't, you're denying yourself, even the
13:47
Speaker 1: bed part that is very true. In order to my
13:51
Speaker 1: shadows side, I'm interested And the way to find is
13:54
Speaker 1: you pay attention to your dreams and nightmares. You use
13:56
Speaker 1: shadow work prompts in a journal to understand your core
14:00
Speaker 1: belief thoughts and feelings. You talk to your therapists our
14:03
Speaker 1: counselor about the things that bother you, and you look
14:05
Speaker 1: for patterns of behavior that you don't that you don't
14:07
Speaker 1: like in yourself. So when do we get the indulge
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Speaker 1: in our shadow self? Like, when do I get to
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Speaker 1: do these things? I'm gonna find out. I don't even
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Speaker 1: know if it's the thing you indulge in. It's just
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Speaker 1: the thing that you might want to communicate, because those
14:16
Speaker 1: are the things that make you feel bad, right right,
14:18
Speaker 1: But that don't necessarily mean you're a bad person just
14:20
Speaker 1: because you think about these things. So who are the
14:22
Speaker 1: people in your life that you could talk to about
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Speaker 1: your shadow self and they don't judge you? Okay, you know,
14:27
Speaker 1: probably your sister, Okay, you know, maybe I don't know.
14:30
Speaker 1: I'm just asking, like, I don't know what my shadow is.
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Speaker 1: Is it connected to sex? Is it like, oh, I
14:34
Speaker 1: think about murdering people? It might be all of that.
14:37
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think the world knows your shadow? What's
14:40
Speaker 1: my shadow self? What's my shadow th we got rooms
14:45
Speaker 1: on the way for I really don't have a shadow,
14:48
Speaker 1: but you do. You admitted that you just don't want
14:50
Speaker 1: to tell you. I've explored it. I don't have a show.
14:57
Speaker 1: Like your listeners know you well enough that they can
14:59
Speaker 1: probably tell you what your shadow self is. I would
15:02
Speaker 1: like to know, yeah, I would five eight five one
15:05
Speaker 1: or five one. I think you know shout, but only
15:08
Speaker 1: a psychologist can tell you that. I think you know
15:10
Speaker 1: Charlemagne's shadow side something that he really wants to do,
15:12
Speaker 1: but it's scared to let it out. Yeah you think
15:15
Speaker 1: you know that. Let's help him reveal his true self.
15:20
Speaker 1: We got rumors on the way in the moral of
15:21
Speaker 1: the story from this open what's the boy with nobody
15:24
Speaker 1: up here? The moral of the story. That don't sound fun.
15:26
Speaker 1: I thought y'all gonna make it sound fun. No, don't
15:29
Speaker 1: sound like nothing. I want to try. I'd rather just
15:32
Speaker 1: we're gonna stay. We're gonna those marriages stay married. That's right,
15:37
Speaker 1: stay married. That's what you mean. Absolutely, we got rumors
15:40
Speaker 1: on the way. We do. We have some rumors coming up,
15:42
Speaker 1: and they are really good, So make sure y'all stay tuned.
15:45
Speaker 1: He's gonna say tires. That's what I'm saying. It ain't
15:48
Speaker 1: wrought me now, made it up. We're talking tires. When
15:52
Speaker 1: we come back. It's the Breakfast Club, come morning, the
15:55
Speaker 1: Breakfast Club.