Latest / The You Project / #1631 Reprogramming You - Harps

Transcript

#1631 Reprogramming You - Harps · The You Project

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Speaker 1: Good a team. So do you ever think about You
0:05
Speaker 1: probably do, because you listen to me a bit, most
0:07
Speaker 1: of you do. But do you ever think about how
0:09
Speaker 1: you think and why you think the way that you think?
0:13
Speaker 1: Do you ever think about how come you see the
0:16
Speaker 1: world the way that you see the world. Why do
0:19
Speaker 1: you have the perspective that you have, the ideas that
0:22
Speaker 1: you have, the attitudes that you have. Do you think
0:26
Speaker 1: about where your beliefs came from? Do you ever have
0:32
Speaker 1: a moment of awareness of your own programming? The fact
0:37
Speaker 1: that from the day that you were born, you know,
0:42
Speaker 1: you've had all this data and inverted commas punched into
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Speaker 1: your hard drive. You've had all these experiences, all these humans.
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Speaker 1: You've lived in this house, you've been to these schools,
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Speaker 1: You've gone to this church or synagogue or Moss Score
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Speaker 1: Temple or Scout Hall or park or beach or and
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Speaker 1: you've had this never ending series of conversations and interactions
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Speaker 1: and experiences and relationships and dialogues and disappointments and breakthroughs
1:22
Speaker 1: and breakdowns and laughter and tears, and the never endingness
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Speaker 1: of the conscious experience that is your life. And in
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Speaker 1: the middle of all of that, that kind of doing
1:37
Speaker 1: and being and conversing and living and thriving and surviving
1:41
Speaker 1: and ducking and weaving and getting up and going to
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Speaker 1: bed and doing a bunch of stuff in the middle
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Speaker 1: of it, and making friends and losing friends, and in
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Speaker 1: the middle of all of that. Until this point in
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Speaker 1: time when you listen to this, you've been programmed. And
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Speaker 1: I've been programmed. I've been programmed by my world. I've
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Speaker 1: been programmed by my experiences. I've been programmed by my parents.
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Speaker 1: I've been programmed by my friends and my peers, my colleagues,
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Speaker 1: my business partners that I've had, the people that I've
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Speaker 1: looked up to, the problems and the problematic people that
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Speaker 1: I've dealt with, have influenced the way that I think
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Speaker 1: and respond and choose friends and cope under pressure. The
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Speaker 1: work that I've done, the companies that I've worked with,
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Speaker 1: the teams that I've worked with, the elite athletes that
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Speaker 1: I've worked with, the addicts and alcoholics, the people in
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Speaker 1: prison that I've worked with, the people with all kinds
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Speaker 1: of abilities and disabilities that I've worked with, have all
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Speaker 1: shaped me. They've influenced how I think. They've influenced everything
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Speaker 1: from my self belief to my level of awareness and
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Speaker 1: gratitude for for what I have. It's interesting that on
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Speaker 1: many levels I didn't choose to be how I am today.
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Speaker 1: On some levels, yes, but on some levels no. And
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Speaker 1: the same with you. You just are how you are and
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Speaker 1: the way that you are today. And this is not
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Speaker 1: a good or bad thing. This is an awareness thing,
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Speaker 1: a curiosity thing, the way that you are today if
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Speaker 1: science is to be believed, and fucking that's fraught with danger,
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Speaker 1: isn't it. But let's just say it's kind of right then.
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Speaker 1: About twenty percent fifteen twenty twenty five maybe percent of
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Speaker 1: how you are, how you think, how you choose your
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Speaker 1: all of the emotional, psychological, behavioral, and physiological components that
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Speaker 1: make you you. A small ish percentage of that is
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Speaker 1: genetic and inherent and unavoidable, but a big part of
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Speaker 1: how you are and who you are, and how you
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Speaker 1: think and how you operate and even even what your
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Speaker 1: body functions like. So much of that is about you
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Speaker 1: and your experiences and where you've been and what you've
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Speaker 1: seen and what you've done and what you haven't done.
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Speaker 1: And so I guess the questions that I'm asking in
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Speaker 1: this around this idea of recognizing our own programming for
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Speaker 1: what it is good or bad. Some of it's good,
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Speaker 1: some of it empowers us. But some of our programming
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Speaker 1: which results in certain beliefs and certain ways of thinking
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Speaker 1: and choosing and being and doing and existing on a
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Speaker 1: social level, on an emotional, on a psychological, on a spiritual,
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Speaker 1: perhaps on a financial, on a practical, on a physical level,
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Speaker 1: some of those things, some of those habits and behaviors
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Speaker 1: and ways of operating that are a byproduct of our
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Speaker 1: programming service, and some of us get in the way
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Speaker 1: of our potential and our possibilities. So the questions that
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Speaker 1: I've been asking myself and others for a bunch of years,
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Speaker 1: feel free to take notes, feel free to come back.
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Speaker 1: This is a kind of me thinking out loudish with
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Speaker 1: not too many notes in front of me about twenty
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Speaker 1: dot points I've got written, and by that I mean
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Speaker 1: twenty words on my screen in front of me. The
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Speaker 1: kind of questions that I ask people is really simple
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Speaker 1: things like is your current operating system working? What does
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Speaker 1: that mean? It means is the way that you typically
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Speaker 1: do stuff? Does it work for you? And by does
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Speaker 1: it work for you, I mean is it producing the
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Speaker 1: outcomes you want it to produce. Is the way that
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Speaker 1: you are currently doing life or a particular part of
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Speaker 1: your life, whether it's relationships or work or money, whether
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Speaker 1: or not it's spirituality, whether or not it's managing your
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Speaker 1: mental and emotional health, whether or not it's it's renovating
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Speaker 1: your physiology for the better, whether or not it's building
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Speaker 1: a business or a career or an academic kind of
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Speaker 1: endeavor that you're pursuing. Is the way that you are
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Speaker 1: currently doing that thing working. Now, it's mostly going to
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Speaker 1: be a yes or no answer. It might be a
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Speaker 1: kind of or it might be a partially. But once
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Speaker 1: we know if something that we are typically doing is
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Speaker 1: working or not working, then that gives us clear indication
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Speaker 1: as to whether or not we should one continue to
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Speaker 1: do that, to discontinue doing it, or three continue doing
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Speaker 1: it in a way that's somewhat modified or more likely
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Speaker 1: to produce better outcomes. Do your typical thoughts empower you
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Speaker 1: or limit you? Why do you think the way that
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Speaker 1: you do? Is that you thinking critically? That is what
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Speaker 1: I call clean slate thinking. That is no influence from
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Speaker 1: anyone or anything else. This is just you. I know.
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Speaker 1: This is very difficult. But do you think the way
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Speaker 1: that you think about this thing because you've simply adopted
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Speaker 1: and adapted thinking and believing in perspective and ideology from
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Speaker 1: someone else. Or is the way that you think about
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Speaker 1: whatever fill in the blank, is the way that you
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Speaker 1: feel about X, we'll call it X? Is that all you?
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Speaker 1: Is that all you? Or is that nearly zero you? Like?
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Speaker 1: Where did that thinking come from? Does it serve you?
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Speaker 1: Does it sabotage you? Does it propel you forward or back?
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Speaker 1: Or does it keep you trapped in some kind of
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Speaker 1: psychological emotional behavioral holding pattern? Where did your beliefs, the
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Speaker 1: things that you believe, where did they come from? Did
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Speaker 1: you choose them? Because if you didn't use them, they
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Speaker 1: ain't yours, there's someone else's. And maybe over time you
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Speaker 1: might do an audit on your beliefs, or you might
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Speaker 1: do a deep dive into where that came from and
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Speaker 1: whether or not that belief actually is truly representative of
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Speaker 1: or aligned with what you think and how you think,
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Speaker 1: And you might circle back and go, you know what, actually,
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Speaker 1: I do believe that I do on my own independently,
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Speaker 1: when I've held that up to I've put that belief
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Speaker 1: up on the old cognitive hoist, and I've walked around
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Speaker 1: it and kicked the tires, and I've come to the
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Speaker 1: conclusion that I actually do think that's true. But there
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Speaker 1: are so many things that we believe that we didn't choose,
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Speaker 1: and those beliefs are essentially just a byproduct of proximity
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Speaker 1: of other people's thoughts or what I call I don't
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Speaker 1: know if anyone else calls it cognitive osmosis. That is,
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Speaker 1: our thoughts and our data processing and our thinking and
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Speaker 1: our worldview simply becomes a version of the people that
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Speaker 1: influence us the most. Are you wasting your potential or
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Speaker 1: optimizing your potential? If you're wasting it, how are you
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Speaker 1: wasting it? And why are you wasting it? Then? What
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Speaker 1: is one thing that you could do to start to
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Speaker 1: use your potential rather than put it in the bottom drawer.
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Speaker 1: What is a better use of your time? What is
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Speaker 1: a better use of your talent? What is the better
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Speaker 1: use of your energy? How can you take that potential
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Speaker 1: and turn it into something great or something worthwhile or
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Speaker 1: something valuable. What kind of practice all outcomes can you
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Speaker 1: produce with that potential? And what's stopping you? What's getting
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Speaker 1: in the way. What about your habits? What about your
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Speaker 1: habits around food and exercise and lifestyle. There's some obvious ones.
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Speaker 1: Are those habits making you better? Are they making you better?
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Speaker 1: Are they a positive? Are they making your life better?
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Speaker 1: Are you consciously designing, creating, and inhabiting your ideal life?
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Speaker 1: Are you doing that consciously or are you an unconscious
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Speaker 1: passenger in your own life being kind of controlled and
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Speaker 1: programmed and determined by external forces and influences. So, when
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Speaker 1: you think about consciously creating your own best life, whatever
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Speaker 1: that means for you, based on I guess your values
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Speaker 1: and goals and wants, what needs to change for that
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Speaker 1: to happen. Are you being swept along by the energy
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Speaker 1: and momentum of everything and everyone around you? Or are
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Speaker 1: you consciously and courageously choosing your path and purpose every day?
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Speaker 1: Because here's what's happened. Here's what happens when we live unconsciously.
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Speaker 1: We blink and then we're five years older. We blink,
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Speaker 1: it's twenty twenty nine. We blink. We're doing the same
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Speaker 1: thing that we were doing. We're having the same conversation,
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Speaker 1: the same internal dialogue. We're doing the same dumb shit
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Speaker 1: we're making the same dumb excuses. We're still waiting for
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Speaker 1: a fucking miracle or some kind of magic or some
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Speaker 1: kind of you know, ethereal spiritual sign from somewhere or
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Speaker 1: someone or something. What we're not doing is we're not
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Speaker 1: taking control of our choices and our behaviors and our existence.
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Speaker 1: We are hoping that things will work out. We have
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Speaker 1: brought into the bullshit that things will work out if
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Speaker 1: you're a good person, it'll all end up. Okay, guess
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Speaker 1: what doesn't happen. It doesn't happen accidentally. You'll build your
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Speaker 1: best life or you'll be a passenger in the life
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Speaker 1: that just happens to you and around you. So I've
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Speaker 1: got some thoughts for you around this, and number one
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Speaker 1: is to question everything that you're currently doing. So think
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Speaker 1: about the thing I'm talking about, the big things, the
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Speaker 1: typical things that you're doing. And then off the back
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Speaker 1: of that, why am I doing this, this thing that
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Speaker 1: I do a lot, this thing that I consistently do,
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Speaker 1: why do I do it? Why do I do it?
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Speaker 1: And does it work based on who and how I
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Speaker 1: want to be? Is it optimal this thing that I'm doing?
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Speaker 1: Does it make my life better? Or is it fucking
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Speaker 1: my life up? Is it fucking my relationships? Up? Is
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Speaker 1: it fucking my health up? Is it fucking my mental health? Up?
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Speaker 1: Does it make me more anxious? Am I spending money
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Speaker 1: on shit I don't need? Am I eating food I
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Speaker 1: don't need? Am I seeking attention that I don't need?
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Speaker 1: What am I currently doing? That is a form of
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Speaker 1: self sabotage? What am I currently doing that doesn't work?
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Speaker 1: And how can I do better? And what can I
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Speaker 1: do better? What do I need to stop doing? What
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Speaker 1: do I need to start doing more of? Consider which
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Speaker 1: of your current thoughts and beliefs and habits might be
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Speaker 1: standing between you and your growth, you and your purpose,
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Speaker 1: you and your happiness, You and your best life. I'm
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Speaker 1: going to use that as a global term. Best life
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Speaker 1: means something different to you than it does to me
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Speaker 1: and everyone else listening. There might be some convergence of ideas,
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Speaker 1: but there might be a lot of divergence. It doesn't matter.
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Speaker 1: I'm just talking about so for me, part of my
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Speaker 1: best life is working for me is not having a
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Speaker 1: boss's is not having the structure and rules of living
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Speaker 1: in someone else's work or commercial paradigm. That's great for me,
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Speaker 1: but it might be terrible for you. So when I
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Speaker 1: talk about your best life, that's based on your values
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Speaker 1: and your goals and your story about what success is.
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Speaker 1: So let me go back to what I said before,
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Speaker 1: that that is, consider which of your current thoughts, beliefs,
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Speaker 1: and habits, so, in other words, what you are doing
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Speaker 1: right now, typically consider which of those might be standing
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Speaker 1: between you and your growth, you and your purpose, you
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Speaker 1: and your happiness, and you and your best life. And
14:54
Speaker 1: think about, think about go back to all of those
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Speaker 1: beliefs that you didn't choose, those ones that are a
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Speaker 1: byproduct of proximity and cognitive osmosis, and that whole idea
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Speaker 1: of just becoming a version of somebody else rather than
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Speaker 1: you being you. Taking on the thinking, the ideas, and
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Speaker 1: the attitudes of those around you doesn't mean you can't
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Speaker 1: learn from others, doesn't mean that that's something great can't
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Speaker 1: metaphorically rub off. But at the same time, you can't
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Speaker 1: be them. You can only be you. And when you
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Speaker 1: are a version of somebody else, invariably things will end
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Speaker 1: in tears, metaphoric tears or literal tears. So perhaps open
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Speaker 1: yourself up to the idea or ideas that one you
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Speaker 1: might be wrong about something that you really don't want
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Speaker 1: to be wrong about. Think about that, Think about the
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Speaker 1: idea that you might currently believe something or want something
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Speaker 1: to be true, or think a certain way about a
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Speaker 1: thing that is perhaps a flawed idea or an untrue
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Speaker 1: truth in inverted commerce. And one of the challenges for
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Speaker 1: us is that in a world where everyone gets things wrong,
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Speaker 1: everyone makes mistakes, everyone makes erroneous assumptions, everyone has beliefs
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Speaker 1: that are flawed, everyone gets disappointed, But none of us
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Speaker 1: want to be wrong. None of us want to be wrong.
16:51
Speaker 1: And I don't think that we need to want to
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Speaker 1: be wrong, but I think we need to be okay
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Speaker 1: with it, because when I'm not open to the idea
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Speaker 1: or comfortable with the idea or okay with the idea,
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Speaker 1: that I'm going to get things wrong. And some of
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Speaker 1: the things that I get wrong will be things that
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Speaker 1: currently form part of my worldview, part of my strongly
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Speaker 1: held belief part of my version of reality, part of
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Speaker 1: my version of the truth. And when I believe something strongly,
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Speaker 1: then that thing that I believe strongly shapes my identity,
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Speaker 1: how I see the world and how I see me
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Speaker 1: in the world. Now when my identity and a particular
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Speaker 1: belief or idea or ideology or philosophy or theology, when
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Speaker 1: they are intertwined, then I don't want to be wrong.
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Speaker 1: And it doesn't matter quite often for people what data
17:58
Speaker 1: or information they are presented with. They will push back,
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Speaker 1: not through logic and not because they happen to be right,
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Speaker 1: but they will push back because they are emotional, they
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Speaker 1: are scared, and they do not want to entertain the
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Speaker 1: idea that this thing that I've believed or thought for
18:16
Speaker 1: a very long time could be wrong, because that's fucking terrifying.
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Speaker 1: Because if that thing that I've thought for a long
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Speaker 1: time is wrong, then I don't know who I am.
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Speaker 1: I don't know what is up and down because my
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Speaker 1: identity and that belief are kind of one and the same.
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Speaker 1: We need to open ourselves up to the idea that
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Speaker 1: we are going to be wrong and now and then
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Speaker 1: it's going to be something profound, something that we really
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Speaker 1: struggle to accept. But nonetheless, it doesn't mean we're right,
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Speaker 1: and it doesn't mean that being wrong makes you a
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Speaker 1: bad human. It makes you human. You and I will
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Speaker 1: need to unlearn some things, and even in the context
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Speaker 1: of being in a certain group, changing your mind, changing
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Speaker 1: your thinking, changing your beliefs and behaviors. That's going to
19:20
Speaker 1: ruffle some feathers depending on the group. That's going to
19:24
Speaker 1: piss some people off. That's going to destroy some relationships. Sometimes.
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Speaker 1: I know I've done this. I've been in groups where
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Speaker 1: to think a certain way and believe a certain way,
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Speaker 1: and have a certain ideology or philosophy or theology, or
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Speaker 1: set of behaviors or practices or rules. It's a lot,
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Speaker 1: isn't it. That was non negotiable. And so when I
19:48
Speaker 1: would put up my hand and go, oh, I'm not
19:49
Speaker 1: sure that I agree with that, it's like, well, you
19:52
Speaker 1: need to agree. You need to get in line or
19:54
Speaker 1: get out. And so when you're in a group that
19:57
Speaker 1: says you need to get in line, you need to conform,
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Speaker 1: you need to fit in. You need to believe, you
20:04
Speaker 1: need to not question, you need to comply. You need
20:08
Speaker 1: to kind of believe what we tell you to believe.
20:10
Speaker 1: We don't want you to We don't want to teach
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Speaker 1: you how to think. We want to teach you what
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Speaker 1: to think. In fact, you thinking critically and arriving at
20:21
Speaker 1: your own conclusions and beliefs and ideas and truths. Well,
20:25
Speaker 1: that's just delusional and you can't belong. But the reality
20:32
Speaker 1: is for you and me, it's not your job to
20:34
Speaker 1: be like them. Now that doesn't mean you can't belong
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Speaker 1: to a group. But if you belong to any group
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Speaker 1: where you can't have your own opinion or ideas, or
20:42
Speaker 1: you can't disagree, or you can't push back. And I'm
20:46
Speaker 1: not talking about being problematic or being difficult. I'm talking
20:51
Speaker 1: about being in any kind of group, not necessarily religious,
20:55
Speaker 1: but any kind of group where your divergence of opinion
20:59
Speaker 1: or ideas or belief or thinking where that is not
21:03
Speaker 1: welcome or not embraced or not tolerated. Then you, my friend,
21:08
Speaker 1: are in a cult occult of thoughts. And yes, it
21:10
Speaker 1: might be religious, or it might be political, or it
21:13
Speaker 1: might be sporting, or it might be nutritional, or it
21:16
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. But I'm not talking about religion per se.
21:21
Speaker 1: I'm talking about the way that people endeavor to control
21:25
Speaker 1: and manipulate and coerce and manage and even intimidate people
21:30
Speaker 1: into thinking a certain way. Fuck that, and some of
21:36
Speaker 1: you know exactly what I'm talking about. By the way,
21:40
Speaker 1: the group could be a family, the group could be
21:44
Speaker 1: ten people at work. The group could be a sporting club.
21:47
Speaker 1: The group could be a bunch of people that have
21:52
Speaker 1: dinner every Friday night that are in inverted Comma's friends.
21:55
Speaker 1: And you sit there biting your fucking tongue every Friday
21:57
Speaker 1: night because you don't want people to know what you
22:00
Speaker 1: really think about some of their bullshit, and so rather
22:04
Speaker 1: than be you, you conform. But guess what, when you
22:07
Speaker 1: don't be you, and when you conform, you're compromising in
22:12
Speaker 1: a way which is terrible for your own growth, your
22:15
Speaker 1: own development, your own ability to live in alignment with
22:19
Speaker 1: your values and be that authentic person. For some of us,
22:27
Speaker 1: it's really time to open ourselves to the idea of
22:34
Speaker 1: having different conversations with different people. Talk about programming, talk
22:39
Speaker 1: about deprogramming, talking about how to just expose ourselves to
22:46
Speaker 1: different ideas, different culture, you know, to have new experiences,
22:51
Speaker 1: to do new things, to be less self less, self
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Speaker 1: righteous and afraid and more curious. Like the truth is,
23:01
Speaker 1: you don't even know what you don't know, as don't I.
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Speaker 1: We don't know what we don't know of all there
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Speaker 1: is to know. And I know this is an obvious thing.
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Speaker 1: But if all there is to know is an ocean
23:18
Speaker 1: of knowledge, an ocean of information and awareness. Then me,
23:25
Speaker 1: who's been learning for sixty years, I know a drop.
23:29
Speaker 1: I know a one single drop in an ocean of knowledge,
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Speaker 1: and so on no level can I be or do
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Speaker 1: I have the right to be presumptuous or arrogant or
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Speaker 1: self righteous about what I know or what I think.
23:43
Speaker 1: I know. There's nothing wrong with believing, there's nothing wrong
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Speaker 1: with thinking, you know, there's nothing wrong with having attitudes
23:51
Speaker 1: and ideas, of course, of course, but I need to
23:55
Speaker 1: be brave enough and grown up enough, and self aware
23:59
Speaker 1: enough and humble enough to know that some of the
24:02
Speaker 1: things that I think and believe and even teach periodically
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Speaker 1: are going to be wrong. They're going to be I'm
24:09
Speaker 1: just going to fuck up. I'm going to have good intentions,
24:13
Speaker 1: I'm going to believe I'm right, but one day I'm
24:15
Speaker 1: going to find out I'm wrong. And I've been finding
24:19
Speaker 1: out I'm wrong forever. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes
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Speaker 1: I don't. But if I don't teach or talk or
24:27
Speaker 1: coach or help or serve until I know everything and
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Speaker 1: I'm right about everything, then I'll never leave the fucking house,
24:35
Speaker 1: because I'm never going to be that person. Neither is anyone.
24:39
Speaker 1: By the way, all of the self proclaimed in inverted commas,
24:44
Speaker 1: alleged gurus and experts get shit wrong constantly. They just
24:50
Speaker 1: have better branding and marketing than you and me. That's it.
24:55
Speaker 1: Do you think that high profile, famous, rich, well respected
24:59
Speaker 1: people don't fuck up twenty thirty times a day. They
25:04
Speaker 1: sure do, and it's okay as they should. That doesn't
25:09
Speaker 1: bother me that the experts fuck up. It doesn't bother me.
25:12
Speaker 1: It bothers me, doesn't really bother me. I just don't
25:16
Speaker 1: like the fact that they present themselves as having it
25:20
Speaker 1: all figured out. It ain't true. So maybe think about
25:29
Speaker 1: your day to day rituals, rules and habits, like the
25:32
Speaker 1: stuff that you typically do most days of your life.
25:40
Speaker 1: So what are the rituals and rules and habits and
25:42
Speaker 1: predictable behaviors that you execute daily that don't fucking work? Right?
25:50
Speaker 1: We can't change what we can't acknowledge, we can't get
25:53
Speaker 1: good at what we won't do. And if we're putting
25:56
Speaker 1: our head in the metaphoric sand and pretending that we
26:00
Speaker 1: are not the problem, someone else or something else is
26:03
Speaker 1: always the problem. Yes, there'll be external variables, and there'll
26:06
Speaker 1: be people in your life periodically, who are pricks? You
26:08
Speaker 1: know that's going to happen. We get that, but also,
26:12
Speaker 1: you know, we also hear about people who have got
26:16
Speaker 1: amazingly tough challenges, but in the middle of those tough
26:19
Speaker 1: challenges they just find a way. And I've spoken about
26:23
Speaker 1: many of those people. I'm not going to talk about
26:24
Speaker 1: them again. But you know, my day today, life is
26:28
Speaker 1: a fucking Disney movie compared to some of my friends,
26:31
Speaker 1: some of my friends who have got what I call
26:33
Speaker 1: real problems. I don't have real problems. I have bullshit problems.
26:37
Speaker 1: But it's important for us to think about what are
26:40
Speaker 1: the things that we typically do day to day rituals, rules, habits,
26:44
Speaker 1: behaviors that are not working for us, and why we
26:48
Speaker 1: keep doing them. Think about the things that you do
26:52
Speaker 1: in terms of, for example, money, the way that you spend,
26:56
Speaker 1: the way that you manage money. Is it working. Do
27:00
Speaker 1: you spend money that you don't need to on things
27:02
Speaker 1: that you absolutely don't really need while simultaneously struggling financially.
27:10
Speaker 1: Think about the way that you work. Think about your career.
27:14
Speaker 1: Think about your job. Think about all the variables that
27:17
Speaker 1: go under the banner of my career. The way that
27:22
Speaker 1: you act and interact, the way that you create an
27:26
Speaker 1: accountability list every day, to do list every day, the
27:28
Speaker 1: way that you execute your level of professionalism, the way
27:32
Speaker 1: that you communicate, interact and connect with the people in
27:37
Speaker 1: the proximity of you at work. Think about I won't
27:42
Speaker 1: bang on about this, but what you do to your
27:44
Speaker 1: body and what you put in your body, is it working. Yes.
27:49
Speaker 1: We can go into all the nuance and all the variables,
27:51
Speaker 1: and we can do a deep dive into the science
27:53
Speaker 1: of everything. But you know, like you have an instinctive
27:57
Speaker 1: and intuitive, a natural knowledge and understanding that you are
28:01
Speaker 1: doing shit right now which doesn't align with the optimal
28:06
Speaker 1: version of physical health or how you want to be,
28:09
Speaker 1: or how you want to feel or how you want
28:11
Speaker 1: to operate. Maybe you don't, but I would think most
28:13
Speaker 1: of you do. Are you currently doing something to your body,
28:17
Speaker 1: or putting something in your body, or not doing something
28:22
Speaker 1: for your body, as the case may be, that is
28:26
Speaker 1: putting you in a place of disadvantage that is not
28:30
Speaker 1: adding to the quality of your life. Recognize it, make
28:34
Speaker 1: a decision about it. Change it. Oh, it's not that easy,
28:38
Speaker 1: and it's not easy. Never said it's fucking easy. In fact,
28:41
Speaker 1: I'm always saying it's hard. I'm always saying it's difficult.
28:44
Speaker 1: I'm always saying we've got to climb the fucking hill.
28:47
Speaker 1: I'm always saying it's inconvenient and uncomfortable. I'm always saying that.
28:52
Speaker 1: So don't say to me, oh but it's not. Yes,
28:54
Speaker 1: it's fucking hard. Do it anyway? Do it anyway? Think
28:58
Speaker 1: about your day to day operating system, rules, rituals, etc.
29:04
Speaker 1: Around mental and emotional self regulation. What are the things
29:08
Speaker 1: that you are doing on a daily basis that are
29:10
Speaker 1: good for your mental health? What are the things that
29:15
Speaker 1: you are doing typically and repeatedly that maybe are bad
29:21
Speaker 1: for your mental health? Are you obsessing about and focusing
29:24
Speaker 1: on and wasting a huge amount of time and energy
29:28
Speaker 1: on things that you can't control, and that the end
29:31
Speaker 1: result of that five ten, fifteen, twenty minute kind of
29:35
Speaker 1: cognitive rabbit hole of fucking stress and wow w W
29:38
Speaker 1: the end of that is you in a state of anxiety. Conversely,
29:45
Speaker 1: maybe you can do some stuff that is going to
29:47
Speaker 1: turn on your parasympathetic nervous system that calm the farm.
29:53
Speaker 1: Maybe there are some breathing exercises, Maybe it's working out,
29:56
Speaker 1: Maybe it's meditating. Maybe it's lying with your dog on
29:59
Speaker 1: the floor. Maybe it's just speaking out loud things that
30:02
Speaker 1: you're worried about, and it's just in the acknowledgment that, oh,
30:06
Speaker 1: my god, it's all right. One of the things that's
30:10
Speaker 1: worked for me in terms of minimizing with certain areas
30:16
Speaker 1: anxiety and overthinking and self doubt and all of that
30:19
Speaker 1: was for me to literally articulate on this show all
30:23
Speaker 1: my own bullshit, and me talking about my flaws and faults,
30:28
Speaker 1: me talking about my shortcomings, me talking about my failures
30:32
Speaker 1: and periodic successes. All of that for me has actually
30:36
Speaker 1: been therapeutic. It's actually been good for my mental and
30:40
Speaker 1: emotional health because I'm closer to the authentic me, the
30:47
Speaker 1: person not the persona that I have at times in
30:51
Speaker 1: my career pushed the persona out to the public, which
30:55
Speaker 1: is a version of me that at times was not
31:00
Speaker 1: one hundred authentic. Think about in terms of your day
31:07
Speaker 1: to day rituals, your personal growth endeavors who you want
31:13
Speaker 1: to become. Think about lifelong learning. Think about how you
31:20
Speaker 1: can optimize your time and energy that I spoke about
31:23
Speaker 1: a minute ago to be more effective and productive, Be
31:27
Speaker 1: more strategic. Think clearly about what you want. You can
31:34
Speaker 1: be driven by your emotions, but regulated and guided by
31:39
Speaker 1: logic and strategy and critical thinking. This is the thing
31:42
Speaker 1: I really really want that call? How do I create that?
31:46
Speaker 1: What's my timeline, what's my plan, what's my strategy? What's
31:48
Speaker 1: my accountability is I've said countless times some people have
31:53
Speaker 1: listened to me thousands of times and are still not
31:55
Speaker 1: doing any of the things that they know are true
31:59
Speaker 1: for them, Which is why I say all the time,
32:03
Speaker 1: I can't change anyone. I can only change now. I
32:06
Speaker 1: can influence and talk and educate and inspire. Sometimes and
32:11
Speaker 1: some people will say, harps, I listened to this podcast
32:15
Speaker 1: that I'm doing right now. I'll get feedback from people saying,
32:18
Speaker 1: thank you. I really needed to hear that I had
32:22
Speaker 1: a light bulb, I did this thing. Blah blah blah
32:23
Speaker 1: blah blah. And some people may but I would think
32:28
Speaker 1: based on the numbers of people that listen, there might
32:30
Speaker 1: be a few. But some people will listen to this
32:32
Speaker 1: and not because of me, but because they're ready, but
32:35
Speaker 1: because they do the work, but because they make the decision,
32:38
Speaker 1: but because they get uncomfortable, because they lean into whatever
32:42
Speaker 1: needs to be lent into They do it as a
32:47
Speaker 1: byproduct of intersecting with this podcast. But still I'm not
32:51
Speaker 1: doing it because I'm not doing the work. I'm not
32:54
Speaker 1: getting uncomfortable, I'm not making the effort, I'm not taking
32:57
Speaker 1: the risks. I'm not doing any of it. How many
33:02
Speaker 1: times do we need to hear a version of And
33:05
Speaker 1: by the way, none of what I'm saying today is new.
33:07
Speaker 1: I didn't invent any of this. All of these ideas
33:13
Speaker 1: and thoughts and messages are spoken about daily by probably
33:18
Speaker 1: thousands or millions of people around the world, where we
33:22
Speaker 1: question what we do and why we do it, and
33:24
Speaker 1: how we do it and whether or not it's working,
33:26
Speaker 1: and we think about our programming, and we think about
33:29
Speaker 1: critical thinking beyond the programming, and we start to become
33:32
Speaker 1: aware of my potential, beyond the unconsciousness of my current existence,
33:39
Speaker 1: where we think, Wow, what if I stepped out of
33:42
Speaker 1: my unconscious operating system that groundhog danus of doing things
33:48
Speaker 1: that don't work, and I stepped into ownership, and I
33:52
Speaker 1: stepped into awareness, and I stepped into strength and courage,
33:58
Speaker 1: and I made different decisions, not because I've got more
34:03
Speaker 1: time in the day or not because it's easy now
34:05
Speaker 1: or not because I've got a cheersquad, but just because
34:08
Speaker 1: I just do it. What if what if I expose
34:15
Speaker 1: myself to different ideas and I open the door on
34:19
Speaker 1: different philosophies and teaching and theologies and texts and traditions
34:23
Speaker 1: and cultures and people and environments. What if I see
34:27
Speaker 1: different stuff? If I see more stuff, I hear more stuff,
34:31
Speaker 1: I'd read more stuff, and I'd do more stuff. What
34:33
Speaker 1: if I do that? What if I broaden my awareness
34:38
Speaker 1: by just doing different things? What if I recognize the
34:44
Speaker 1: gap between how I live day to day and my values?
34:49
Speaker 1: And if my values are the road map for constructing
34:54
Speaker 1: a life, a lifestyle and existence and an operating system
34:59
Speaker 1: that works for me, then the obvious question is how
35:05
Speaker 1: does my current behavior or way of living or being
35:08
Speaker 1: and doing align with my values? And if the answer
35:11
Speaker 1: is not very well, that's okay again, no self loathing,
35:15
Speaker 1: just awareness. Cool. Well, I know what my values are,
35:19
Speaker 1: so my values can now become the roadmap for future me,
35:25
Speaker 1: for future decisions, for future behaviors, for future transformation, growth, learning, evolution, development.
35:35
Speaker 1: What matters to me? Well, these are the things that
35:37
Speaker 1: are most important. These are my goals, These are my values.
35:42
Speaker 1: These are my standards, These things are my internal sat nav.
35:46
Speaker 1: I defer to them when I am designing, refining, and
35:51
Speaker 1: creating the best version of my life and me in
35:54
Speaker 1: the middle of that. I think we need to get
35:59
Speaker 1: our head around the idea that that our truth might
36:05
Speaker 1: not be the truth, that the thing that's going on
36:14
Speaker 1: is not the same as your story about the thing
36:18
Speaker 1: that's going on. And your story about the thing that's
36:22
Speaker 1: going on might be a product of the story that
36:27
Speaker 1: you grew up in. It might be a byproduct of
36:30
Speaker 1: the story that people in your world that you love
36:34
Speaker 1: and respect and look up to and trust. It might
36:37
Speaker 1: be that their story has become your story. But there's
36:42
Speaker 1: still a chance that it's just a story. There's still
36:46
Speaker 1: a chance that there's a chasm between the truth and
36:50
Speaker 1: your truth. Maybe not in some cases and maybe in other's.
37:02
Speaker 1: So I guess the challenge for us as we think
37:04
Speaker 1: about this idea of becoming aware of our programming and
37:07
Speaker 1: the way that you know our beliefs and ideas and
37:09
Speaker 1: values and behaviors and outcomes, and the way that we
37:13
Speaker 1: do personal and professional relationships, and the way that we
37:17
Speaker 1: interpret the data that we're inundated with on a minutely
37:24
Speaker 1: is that word on a minute by minute, hourly daily basis.
37:30
Speaker 1: You know, once we start to identify things that are
37:34
Speaker 1: working and not working, we can make different decisions. We
37:39
Speaker 1: can change beliefs over time, we can change ideas and
37:42
Speaker 1: behaviors and rituals and rules and habits and outcomes. And
37:47
Speaker 1: we're not going to change quickly. We're not going to
37:50
Speaker 1: close our eyes and wake up and next Wednesday, we're
37:52
Speaker 1: going to be a different human with a different reality.
37:56
Speaker 1: It's a process. And it might not be ten things.
37:59
Speaker 1: That might be one thing, It might be two or
38:03
Speaker 1: three things. It might just be a key thing that
38:06
Speaker 1: you need. It might just be that you change one
38:10
Speaker 1: significant component of your life and a myriad of things
38:15
Speaker 1: change because of that. I know many people who have
38:19
Speaker 1: and this is going to be an obvious thing to say,
38:21
Speaker 1: but it's true who the main thing that, the main
38:26
Speaker 1: thing that they have done is just change their body
38:30
Speaker 1: for the better. And I'm not talking about appearance or
38:33
Speaker 1: shape or vanity or ego. I'm talking about they've changed
38:38
Speaker 1: their body for the better in terms of health and
38:42
Speaker 1: function and performance. And then when their body changes, when
38:48
Speaker 1: they went through that process of thinking and doing and
38:51
Speaker 1: being different and creating different outcomes and changing their physiology
38:57
Speaker 1: for the better. Not only did their physiology changed, but
39:01
Speaker 1: their psychology and their sociology and their emotional system. And
39:05
Speaker 1: they built resilience and understanding and awareness and strength and insight.
39:10
Speaker 1: And they did something hard. And yes, their body changed,
39:14
Speaker 1: so where they live changed, but who they are changed
39:17
Speaker 1: along the way because they created something that is a
39:21
Speaker 1: great result. They did something that was hard, and then
39:25
Speaker 1: they take that strength and that knowledge and that confidence
39:28
Speaker 1: and competence from that transformative process into other processes in
39:33
Speaker 1: their life. I encourage you to think about how you think,
39:41
Speaker 1: and I encourage you to open the door on this
39:44
Speaker 1: kind of awareness of how much of what I do
39:49
Speaker 1: is a result of programming, and how much is me