Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 175 | Avoiding Bookkeeping? Why QuickBooks Triggers the Nervous System

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175 | Avoiding Bookkeeping? Why QuickBooks Triggers the Nervous System · Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design

• 0:00
  Erin Gray: Most women that I support avoid their QuickBooks, not because they are bad with money.
• 0:05
  Erin Gray: They typically avoid QuickBooks for several reasons.
• 0:07
  Erin Gray: It could be one of the following or all of them or some of these, not even listed here.
• 0:11
  Erin Gray: Typically, their body does not feel safe looking, right?
• 0:14
  Erin Gray: So there is the way that the body is perceiving the numbers and QuickBooks and what that actually means and how that feels in their body.
• 0:21
  Erin Gray: Andor they don't actually understand what they're looking at.
• 0:25
  Erin Gray: Like no one has actually sat down and taught them how to look at QuickBooks.
• 0:28
  Erin Gray: And so today, what I'm going to talk about is reframing knowing your numbers as an act of self-trust, self-love, and sovereignty in your business.
• 0:36
  Erin Gray: Not another way to judge yourself or to beat yourself up.
• 0:39
  Erin Gray: So let's dive in.
• 0:40
  Erin Gray: Real quick announcement I'm going to be hosting this month's workshop on feminine leadership and play.
• 0:45
  Erin Gray: It's been a theme I'm noticing in some of my clients.
• 0:48
  Erin Gray: So it will be on Thursday, January 15th at 10 a.m.
• 0:52
  Erin Gray: Mountain Standard Time.
• 0:53
  Erin Gray: We're going to be talking about returning back home to yourself, returning back home to your childlike wonder and having more ease and joy in your life and your business.
• 1:01
  Erin Gray: So if you're interested in coming, you can click the link in the show notes and you can learn more about it and register there.
• 1:07
  Erin Gray: So I first want to say that numbers are just information.
• 1:11
  Erin Gray: They're data.
• 1:11
  Erin Gray: They are not the verdict and there is no financial police.
• 1:15
  Erin Gray: I think so often we are brought up and we are taught that there is a right way and a wrong way to do something, and there just isn't.
• 1:21
  Erin Gray: Like that is definitely a mind.
• 1:23
  Erin Gray: Whoever taught us that, I mean, my dad is definitely like he believes in right and wrong.
• 1:28
  Erin Gray: There is a right way and a wrong way.
• 1:29
  Erin Gray: But that's because his dad and he would get in trouble if he did it, and I'm air quoting the wrong way, right?
• 1:35
  Erin Gray: He would get, and like I said, in trouble or punished if my dad did something in not a way that my grandfather thought it was, right?
• 1:42
  Erin Gray: So there that comes from ultimately a safety place, like there is a right or a wrong, because if I do wrong, then what happens?
• 1:49
  Erin Gray: So that's the first thing to start noticing is that numbers are just neutral.
• 1:53
  Erin Gray: They're just data.
• 1:54
  Erin Gray: That's all that they are, right?
• 1:55
  Erin Gray: But the body perceives it probably as like a threat, right?
• 1:59
  Erin Gray: There's a right way and a wrong way, and a certain number and not a certain number is good or bad.
• 2:04
  Erin Gray: And so often we give our power away to so many things and so many people outside of ourselves, you know, abdicate or give away our power for QuickBooks, our bookkeeper, our CPA, you know, and we have so many thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and what we are capable of.
• 2:22
  Erin Gray: You know, we let our minds, if we are not aware of this, we will let our minds run the show versus intentionally choosing how do I want to think about myself?
• 2:32
  Erin Gray: Like before I sit down with QuickBooks, the question you need to be asking yourself, or before you sit down with QuickBooks, who is the woman that is about to sit down with her money?
• 2:40
  Erin Gray: Who is the woman that is about to open her QuickBooks or hop on a call with the bookkeeper or the CPA?
• 2:47
  Erin Gray: QuickBooks is never going to be telling you if you're doing it right or not, right?
• 2:50
  Erin Gray: It just simply is a software program that shows data.
• 2:53
  Erin Gray: It's just like money, right?
• 2:54
  Erin Gray: It just is.
• 2:55
  Erin Gray: Money isn't one way or another.
• 2:57
  Erin Gray: It just is.
• 2:58
  Erin Gray: Now, I do believe money has a consciousness.
• 3:00
  Erin Gray: That's a whole nother podcast topic for another day.
• 3:02
  Erin Gray: But in this specific example that I'm talking about here, it's just data.
• 3:06
  Erin Gray: It's just neutral, right?
• 3:08
  Erin Gray: But what happens is we have so many thoughts, we have so many feelings.
• 3:12
  Erin Gray: Our bodies don't feel safe around money and numbers, you know?
• 3:15
  Erin Gray: And so we've made up all of these stories about ourselves and our business, which most of the time not aren't even true.
• 3:22
  Erin Gray: And they definitely aren't helpful.
• 3:23
  Erin Gray: Like one of the questions I've really started to ask myself is is this actually helpful, Erin?
• 3:28
  Erin Gray: Is what you are thinking right now, is that actually helpful?
• 3:30
  Erin Gray: Is that actually moving you to where you want to go?
• 3:33
  Erin Gray: Is that actually serving you?
• 3:34
  Erin Gray: And if it is not, and if I get an answer and my answer is no, then I immediately start to think, then what isn't a more empowering thought?
• 3:41
  Erin Gray: What is a more loving belief, supportive belief that I can have?
• 3:45
  Erin Gray: So instead of just choosing to look at it from a very neutral place, what so many of us do is we look at it and we make those stories up about it and then we shame ourselves and guilt ourselves versus okay, I'm gonna just start looking at this.
• 4:00
  Erin Gray: Like, just start at the beginning is just looking at it from a neutral place.
• 4:03
  Erin Gray: This is just the numbers.
• 4:05
  Erin Gray: Like one of the things I had to start doing in the beginning was like every human, like when I was just thinking about money, right?
• 4:10
  Erin Gray: Every human deals with money and I'm a human too.
• 4:13
  Erin Gray: Like, what are some more neutral phrases or beliefs that you can start telling yourself to empower yourself to just look at numbers to empower you to see where you want to go instead of the guilt and the shame that you feel when you sit down to look at QuickBooks.
• 4:28
  Erin Gray: The second thing is avoidance will almost always not like, you know, speaking in terms of like extremes, but pretty more often than not, it's going to create because avoidance is an action, it's going to create pressure more than like clarity ever.
• 4:43
  Erin Gray: Well, so when we are avoiding something, that is our opportunity because it is an action.
• 4:48
  Erin Gray: You have to think about what am I feeling that is causing me to avoid this?
• 4:53
  Erin Gray: What am I actually feeling in my body?
• 4:56
  Erin Gray: Take the time to slow down, take the time to pause.
• 5:00
  Erin Gray: Yes, there's a million things that your brain is probably going to tell you you need to do, but nothing is more important than right now.
• 5:05
  Erin Gray: What am I feeling in my body that is creating this avoidance?
• 5:08
  Erin Gray: And when you come from a place of curiosity, there isn't much room for judgment.
• 5:12
  Erin Gray: So you get to experience the curiosity and the the, I want to say understanding of like, hmm, what's going on here?
• 5:19
  Erin Gray: Right?
• 5:20
  Erin Gray: Feel more love for yourselves.
• 5:22
  Erin Gray: Ask yourself, what are you feeling?
• 5:24
  Erin Gray: Like be your best, your biggest advocate.
• 5:27
  Erin Gray: This is a perfect opportunity to do this for yourself.
• 5:29
  Erin Gray: There are specific feelings that drive avoidance.
• 5:33
  Erin Gray: What are they?
• 5:34
  Erin Gray: You have to like, this is when, you know, we want to take a motrin because we're having some pain versus what's actually creating the pain that I'm feeling?
• 5:43
  Erin Gray: Like we've got to go there.
• 5:44
  Erin Gray: That's where we've got to go.
• 5:45
  Erin Gray: So avoidance is a very sneaky way that our ego, our mind, tries to protect us.
• 5:51
  Erin Gray: But what is actually happening behind the scenes is that our nervous system is staying in that fight or flight.
• 5:56
  Erin Gray: We aren't helping calm our nervous system by staying in an avoidance.
• 6:00
  Erin Gray: So we aren't addressing the cause of what is creating the avoidance.
• 6:05
  Erin Gray: So we aren't actually able to move through this, which means we aren't actually able to evolve and to grow.
• 6:11
  Erin Gray: So, in order to gain clarity of what we are feeling, first we need to take some time to do that.
• 6:17
  Erin Gray: Then we can decide, okay, now I have this awareness.
• 6:20
  Erin Gray: I was feeling some shame.
• 6:21
  Erin Gray: I was judging myself, I was comparing myself to someone else, right?
• 6:26
  Erin Gray: So those are all brilliant awarenesses.
• 6:28
  Erin Gray: And then we get to come back and we be like, okay, so now what do I want to do with this information?
• 6:32
  Erin Gray: How do I want to take this?
• 6:34
  Erin Gray: And what do I want to think differently about myself?
• 6:37
  Erin Gray: And how do I want to feel differently about QuickBooks or my numbers?
• 6:41
  Erin Gray: And how do I want to feel when I sit down?
• 6:44
  Erin Gray: Like, I think so often we're just in this looping.
• 6:47
  Erin Gray: We're not even questioning.
• 6:48
  Erin Gray: Like we just the body and Dr.
• 6:50
  Erin Gray: Joe Dispenza talks about this, but the body is so used to being served up certain emotions.
• 6:55
  Erin Gray: So if you're used to feeling shame and guilt when you sit down with your numbers, it's going to take some conscious awareness to be like, okay, two o'clock is on my calendar to sit down with QuickBooks.
• 7:04
  Erin Gray: How do I want to feel?
• 7:05
  Erin Gray: What would I love?
• 7:06
  Erin Gray: Like that's a question I love to ask myself.
• 7:08
  Erin Gray: What would I love?
• 7:09
  Erin Gray: I would love to sit down and have fun.
• 7:11
  Erin Gray: Maybe that's too far of a jump.
• 7:12
  Erin Gray: I would love to sit down and just open up my QuickBooks and see what my numbers are.
• 7:16
  Erin Gray: I'm willing to do that.
• 7:17
  Erin Gray: And I want to say two things here because I feel really passionately.
• 7:20
  Erin Gray: I mean, I feel passionately about both, but like the first one, I let's just use the word passionately, like my um emotion freedom technique.
• 7:27
  Erin Gray: No, not my EFT, emotion release therapist.
• 7:30
  Erin Gray: She calls it pissionate, I think is what she says, which is like pissed off and passionate because that is how I feel.
• 7:37
  Erin Gray: When I hear a client tell me that they have been talked down to by a CPA, or like maybe they're looking at someone working with someone like a CFO or a bookkeeper or you know, attorney, like I recognize the human in me just wants to like be so protective of them because you do not have to tolerate anyone that you work with, any employee, any vendor, any contractor, any attorney, CPA, bookkeeper, you name it, you do not have to tolerate them talking down to you.
• 8:07
  Erin Gray: And again, with the beautiful awareness, if they are talking down to you, there probably is something there vibrationally, whether you're aware of it or not, that is when I say creating it, because I think sometimes we can misinterpret, I'm not saying it's your fault, but I'm saying that there is a vibration there that you are attracting that, right?
• 8:26
  Erin Gray: And so, not from the blame game, but like, hey, what parts of me like does this bring up like, is this the way my dad used to talk to me and I would tolerate it?
• 8:34
  Erin Gray: Is this the way my ex-husband used to talk to me?
• 8:36
  Erin Gray: Like, there's something there.
• 8:38
  Erin Gray: Is this the way my high school boyfriend was?
• 8:40
  Erin Gray: Like, there's something there that when someone is talking down to us and we continue, right?
• 8:45
  Erin Gray: I'm not talking about like, hey, one time it happened and then I told them what's up and it never happens again.
• 8:50
  Erin Gray: I'm saying on a consistent basis, you're working with someone and that that is the type of relationship that it is.
• 8:55
  Erin Gray: There is something there that maybe you don't feel worthy of having someone that treats you with love and care and respect.
• 9:01
  Erin Gray: So that's another area that you can look into.
• 9:03
  Erin Gray: So I just want to say if you are having someone that is not speaking lovingly and kindly and supportive and you know, meeting you where you are, then you 100% get to change.
• 9:13
  Erin Gray: And you don't even have to give reasons, right?
• 9:15
  Erin Gray: I think sometimes we have to give all the reasons.
• 9:16
  Erin Gray: Like, listen, we just are not on the same frequency anymore.
• 9:19
  Erin Gray: So you do not have to tolerate someone speaking poorly to you.
• 9:22
  Erin Gray: Like you are this amazing human, and I want you to value yourself as such.
• 9:28
  Erin Gray: And then the second thing is obviously, this is exactly some of the work that I do with my clients, supporting you from that emotional standpoint while also helping you understand and take the time and hold you and support you and guide you, you know, so that you understand your numbers and your business, so that you can grow in a way that feels good for you.
• 9:48
  Erin Gray: Because when you know your numbers, when you know where your money is circulating in your business, you will feel more empowered and you will create choices for yourself.
• 9:56
  Erin Gray: And that is ultimately what I want for each of you.
• 9:58
  Erin Gray: So the third thing that I would say is that you are allowed to evolve over time.
• 10:02
  Erin Gray: So start somewhere.
• 10:03
  Erin Gray: Like this is also a place where I think a lot of women show their perfectionistic, that's even a word, tendencies, right?
• 10:09
  Erin Gray: You know, we they go into this perfectionist mode.
• 10:13
  Erin Gray: And I want to always, and I do say, like, let's just start somewhere, right?
• 10:17
  Erin Gray: Let's just get moving.
• 10:18
  Erin Gray: Let's just start looking at things, let's start digging into your reports, and then we can make decisions as we go, right?
• 10:24
  Erin Gray: I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions.
• 10:26
  Erin Gray: You may not know the answers.
• 10:27
  Erin Gray: That's totally okay, right?
• 10:28
  Erin Gray: Like that's what we're gonna find out together, no problem, right?
• 10:31
  Erin Gray: It doesn't have to be this big, heavy doom and gloom thing.
• 10:34
  Erin Gray: So together, we're, you know, we are gonna go through the numbers, we're gonna look together.
• 10:38
  Erin Gray: I'm gonna ask questions, I'm gonna teach you some things about your business and your numbers, and then I'm gonna have them thinking at a higher level so that they consider multiple things, not just what's staring them right in the face with QuickBooks.
• 10:50
  Erin Gray: Zoom out.
• 10:50
  Erin Gray: Like I always want you to be thinking from like a 30,000-foot view.
• 10:53
  Erin Gray: Give yourself some space, right?
• 10:55
  Erin Gray: To learn and to learn the lessons.
• 10:57
  Erin Gray: QuickBooks is a language.
• 10:59
  Erin Gray: And I think so often we just think like, well, I'm a business owner, so I should know all of this.
• 11:03
  Erin Gray: No, you don't.
• 11:04
  Erin Gray: Because if nobody has taught you and you haven't had the time or haven't put aside the time, I should say, not had the time, put aside the time to teach yourself, then where is it supposed to come from?
• 11:12
  Erin Gray: Right.
• 11:13
  Erin Gray: Like I wouldn't sit here and be like, well, you should know how to speak Spanish because you're a human.
• 11:16
  Erin Gray: No, it's the same thing with QuickBooks.
• 11:18
  Erin Gray: So, what matters too, I want you to understand, is who you are being.
• 11:22
  Erin Gray: Do you want to be someone that sits down with herself and her money on a weekly basis?
• 11:26
  Erin Gray: Someone that is learning more and more about her numbers, about finance, about her business.
• 11:31
  Erin Gray: Are you becoming more aware of how your money is circulating?
• 11:34
  Erin Gray: Are you trusting yourself with your intuition even more than you already are?
• 11:38
  Erin Gray: Are you honoring your knowing?
• 11:40
  Erin Gray: You know, I think for some of us, most of us, we we could relax even more.
• 11:45
  Erin Gray: We could have fun even more.
• 11:46
  Erin Gray: We could exhale longer than we're actually inhaling.
• 11:49
  Erin Gray: So give yourself an add a girl.
• 11:51
  Erin Gray: Like I was one of those like hard, never like beat myself up all the time, never gave myself any praise.
• 11:57
  Erin Gray: It doesn't feel good in the body.
• 11:59
  Erin Gray: So give yourself an atta girl on the daily, like multiple times a day.
• 12:03
  Erin Gray: Like praise, praise yourself because you are doing amazing things.
• 12:07
  Erin Gray: You know, we don't need to come in with the doom and gloom because there are plenty of people already in the world that are doing that enough for us.
• 12:14
  Erin Gray: I mean, I was on the phone twice this week with attorneys and clients.
• 12:17
  Erin Gray: And I'm just like, holy smokes, can we actually say one positive thing of what you think like an outcome could be?
• 12:25
  Erin Gray: And yes, we might say that, oh, well, that's their attorney's job.
• 12:28
  Erin Gray: But you know what?
• 12:28
  Erin Gray: When I work with attorneys, I want them to be like, you know what, this is these are the facts.
• 12:32
  Erin Gray: And also, there's also things that we can do to mitigate this or, you know, to to work through this.
• 12:37
  Erin Gray: Like, I don't want somebody who's like the sky is falling and no, no option is going to like that's not who I want to surround myself with.
• 12:44
  Erin Gray: Like, where are the possibility attorneys?
• 12:46
  Erin Gray: Where are the positive thinking growth mindset attorneys?
• 12:49
  Erin Gray: Like, that's who we want to be working with.
• 12:51
  Erin Gray: Okay.
• 12:52
  Erin Gray: And I want to say that you are the endless vessel.
• 12:55
  Erin Gray: You are the founder.
• 12:57
  Erin Gray: You are the one that has this vision and you are the magic.
• 13:00
  Erin Gray: And I can't tell you how often that I mentor women that are quietly, maybe not so quietly, sometimes overtly persuaded against their knowing.
• 13:11
  Erin Gray: And every single time they have gone against their knowing, it has not worked out the way that they have wanted it to.
• 13:17
  Erin Gray: Yes, I believe everything always works out for us.
• 13:19
  Erin Gray: But like when I asked them, like, did you know?
• 13:22
  Erin Gray: Like, did you actually want to do that?
• 13:23
  Erin Gray: And they were like, no.
• 13:24
  Erin Gray: Everyone else was telling me X, Y, Z, and I wanted to do this.
• 13:27
  Erin Gray: And I basically what they tell me is I compromised.
• 13:30
  Erin Gray: And I want you to stop compromising.
• 13:32
  Erin Gray: You are the magic.
• 13:33
  Erin Gray: So please, please, please remember that.
• 13:36
  Erin Gray: Do not let some silly software program or some person that's gotten letters behind their name get you up in arms or allow you to doubt your brilliance and the magic that you possess.
• 13:49
  Erin Gray: All of us are way more than that.
• 13:51
  Erin Gray: And we all deserve to have people on our team that are helping us and supporting us.
• 13:55
  Erin Gray: So I'm gonna leave you with decide who you are as a founder, an owner, and a businesswoman.
• 14:01
  Erin Gray: Like get your pen and paper out, go journal on this and constantly come back to this.
• 14:05
  Erin Gray: And from that place, what does she feel and do on a daily and a weekly and a monthly basis with her money and her QuickBook and her support and her staff and all of it?
• 14:14
  Erin Gray: Okay, that's all I have for you today.
• 14:15
  Erin Gray: Come learn with me on Thursday, January 15th at 10 a.m.
• 14:18
  Erin Gray: Mountain Standard Time.
• 14:19
  Erin Gray: And I'll see you in the next episode.